Crazy Conversations Podcast

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
And our third life coach, childcare professional and truth teller.
We are going to dive into an amazing conversation that
should be effective and helpful to every household. But before
we dive in, let me properly welcome my executive producer,

(00:23):
the one who keeps the vision grounded and the one
that keeps the conversation real. Hey, Life, thank you for
coming in on this cold, rainy night. You didn't have to,
but again, thank you for always riding with me. Welcome
to Light tonight. You ready, you're ready for this topic? Okay? Well,

(00:47):
now we have someone amazing that we would like to introduce.
I would like to welcome the guests that came in
to do a crazy conversation with Ms Kim, and that
guest tonight is Alexis Scott. Thank you for creating the
guide for today's language to today's teens. Welcome to I'm

(01:11):
welcoming her to the show, and thank you again so
much for coming in this Alexis Scott, are you ready
for this crazy conversation? Okay? You gotta have a lot
of people mad at me, but I gotta say what
I gotta say. So tell us.

Speaker 2 (01:30):
A little bit about your project and The title of
my project is house Etiquettes for a teen year ols.
And this project was brought about because of the experience
I'm here with my teen year olds. I'll go into
the detail. I don't want to go right into it
right now, but it was entired because of my daughter,

(01:52):
just knowing that how she operates and how her attitude
and is like affecting things on a daily like our relationship.
I'm like, I should write a book. I should put
that in a book. And I was now in the
entire time.

Speaker 1 (02:05):
Well, tonight, our conversation is titled when Advice Isn't Enough
because we gotta be real real. And when I say real, real,
I mean real because sometimes talking at our teens isn't
working anymore. So sometimes of advice just doesn't reach them

(02:26):
the way we need them to reach to be reached,
you know. Tonight we are discussing what it really takes
to raise confident, responsible young women in this generation. I
am excited, excited to dive into this conversation because again,

(02:48):
this is something that we need back in households all nationality.
This is not just something for African American families. We
are bringing house etiquette back for teen girls, we are
bringing them back into the household. It's so much, it's

(03:08):
so different things. This generation is so different than the
generation that we both came up in. So again I
had the opportunity to get all up in miss Alexis
scott business, I know, and she like a ooh, miss Kim,
call me one more time, and she said, we one more,

(03:30):
Ma mo one more. That's okay. When I see a
go get when you see that misfixed lady.

Speaker 3 (03:40):
The one that carries her burdens and a thousand other people,
she built, helped build an empire, and she can run
it with her eyes closed. So when I heard that
she had got into writing, you already know I'll try
to be in the business.

Speaker 1 (03:59):
So I'm all at her bars and say she's saying,
did my husband tell you to call me? I'm looking like, no,
your husband didn't tell me to call you. I just
saw what you were trying to put out there for
a teen girls. Why wasn't this manual here? Why wasn't

(04:20):
this bible for teen girls not available when I was
raising teen girls? So me having a conversation with Alexis,
it made me feel like I did everything wrong. So
now I can't get mad when my kids go around

(04:42):
the house and sing bad Mom, bad Mom. It's okay.
Now I'm realizing that I did not do everything correctly.
But again, you all get another chance. You all get
a chance of what it takes to help these young ladies.
You all have that opportunity now, and you will also

(05:04):
have the part one, the part two, and the part
three from Alexis Scott. She's gonna be coming out to
mentor So if it's any schools, any churches, any daycares,
anybody that works with cheerleading coaches, athletic teams, let her
come in and properly train your team girls. It is

(05:27):
so needed. And again, if I could just go back
to my village. But we're gonna talk about that a
little bit, Like I got some questions. I gotta be
an Alexis business, so I want to talk about the book.
And you gave me a little bit of what inspired you,

(05:48):
but I need to know what really really inspired you
to write about this team girl.

Speaker 2 (05:58):
So although my daughter's situation, like how she responded to me,
made write the book, I thought about how I was
as a kid, and I was like, why know I
had a smart man and I know this, but I'm like,
some stuff we just couldn't get away with, and like,
where did I change when it came to being parents

(06:19):
of my team daughter, so that maybe want to go
write the book more. And honestly, as I was writing it,
it was triggering from me too because I'm like, oh,
I still did that.

Speaker 1 (06:30):
So why did you choose a big sister tone in
styth of a strict, stern, firm parent voice. Then we
just had this conversation. What did I just tell you?
I said, I have to teach and I have had

(06:51):
to teach my children how to treat me because me saying, okay, right,
it's okay if I talk in this tone then on
Mother of the Year. But when I get down with
them like they like we on the street, did I
hear them on the phone, Oh my mama, she just

(07:12):
just this this. But you know what, I was always
raised the mothers that do the most, we treated the
rest sometime and the one that's out there drinking, stripping,
not worried about where their kids said, gave them to
the system. Blah blah blah. We don't get credit for
standing in to help parents someone else's situation. But again,

(07:37):
we have an opportunity to do things different, and this
woman here is one of the reasons that it can
be done differently in households. I appreciate you letting me
be all in your business, but when when you say

(07:59):
when advice isn't enough?

Speaker 2 (08:02):
So when advice isn't enough? I decided to put it
in a drink because my thing was if I put
it in a book, maybe she'll read it. But now
I'm facing it. She don't like me, so how how
she don't like reading? So how do I go with it?
So now we got to sit down and have a conversation,
and by me reading a book and bringing something back
to her and asking her questions, how do you feel

(08:22):
like this about this? If someone responded to you in
this way, how would you feel? And she give me like,
so why you respond to me?

Speaker 1 (08:31):
Exactly? So that's why I told you I had to
switch things up. I had to start replying, commenting like
they like they homi. So if that if that consisted
of some name calling, oh well, I didn't take my

(08:53):
first drink until I was forty years old, and I
wondered all that time, man, these mothers out here having
a ball. Vagdine but that's okay. I took my I
have my first real drink at forty and fifty one.
I understand now, I understand now, I understand what was
going on in the eighties now with parenting, I truly understand.

(09:18):
So one of the things in the book that was
a section that is amazing that a lot of parents
should be able to respond and relate, you know, the hygiene,
the room care, and the self respect that section. You know,

(09:40):
I why, I just want to know your views on
why is hygiene such a sensitive topic with these teens
and this generation. Why we can't talk about if you
musty or not, but they will say it to us.
That's what I'm saying. If I put on my pajamas
two days in a row, it's all on snap. You

(10:02):
know what I'm saying, Mama, bogus, look this one. You know,
I just all kind of stuff because everything goes on
social media. So it's like, oh you, I mean, how
do you talk to them about Look, I mean, they
say on all shames. I mean, come on, you know
it's it's the I've knowed you had those socks one.

(10:25):
I mean, how do you reach out to this generation
of teams and young adults.

Speaker 2 (10:33):
And so for me with my daughter and her hygiene,
if I smell something like, so, did you do this today?
So yeah, I was, well, So why the attitude because
you ask? So I'm like, so, what if you walk
past a friend or something and they tell you that
you smell a certain way? How would you feel? Well?
She said, I don't stay where if I smell something,
you smell away. So I need you to go correct

(10:56):
that because you're outside representing yourself, like I'm doing the
best I can. But when you're out there, you're by yourself,
so you have to put up a good look for yourself.
So I need you to be on points about your hygiene.
So I can get really in her and like drill
her about the hygiene. She go and fix it. And
then it's like she didn't want to do it, So
I do this stuff up stuff.

Speaker 1 (11:18):
But again, so why they take offense when parents say it?
And but they don't get mad at a friends that
say it because they probably don't say blank you stay
or you know, at least we'll say, you know, did
you run out of body wash? Or we'll say something mothering,

(11:41):
you know, not just come out the the back and
say be you. You know that's that's that's but that's
the way you reach them though.

Speaker 2 (11:50):
That is the way. So I'm learning that when I
say something to her, she don't want to hear it
from me. So I did take one approach where I
have somebody YO say it to her so she can
get it. It's just like for her, I'm always drilling her.
I'm always telling her something. And I can remember being
the kids too, and it was like, well this and that,

(12:11):
and it's like you hear it consistently. You feel like
you're nagging me in And that's what I feel like
she's getting from me when I do say something to her.
So she don't want to be corrected by me. She
rather come from someone else because I do too much.

Speaker 1 (12:26):
And so we did not get the opportunity to talk
much on Were there any elderly advice given to you
as you worked on this current project? Did you get
any elderly advice? Did you have to go way back?

Speaker 2 (12:49):
So for me right now, the elders in my life
are deceased, but I did take on what they talking
in past, and they always say, you don't want me,
you don't want to be stinking in front of people.
That's what they call it. So you gotta look your best.
It was always about appearance, and that's what I tried
to preach to her. So I just recalled from the

(13:10):
help I got from when I was a kid, like
the people that showed love, and they were not them.
So I just drew from that from what I heard,
and not a physical person get.

Speaker 1 (13:23):
Well with me. I appreciated the elders, the neighbors, the community,
I mean, the whole entire village that did play a
hands on part of my upbringing in North Lindale. You know,
I had some real good, good women that would not

(13:49):
settle for certain things that this generation you know, does,
And even the way I was brought up, I deal
did not implement that in my own parenting. In my
own parenting, I can say that, you know, my answers

(14:12):
to elderly giving me advice about my kids, was they mad?
You know, don't talk about my parenting. Don't tell me
what to do, don't tell me what fragrance to God,
don't tell me that. They can't use degree and I
can only by mention. No, I was not accepting that,

(14:36):
and I was a parent, But was I doing it correctly. No,
I should have been listening myself. But you know one
thing that I can say, the young misscom should have
shut up and let my village help me. But see
f fifty one, this fifty one year old miscount need

(15:00):
to get on the phone and apologize to that village
that was trying to help me with my bad attitude.
Have to keep it, you know. So they saw the
little attitude send them when they was toddlers. So some
of them I had to endupt you. Sometimes I feel
I have to keep you oo's out. Yeah she told me, Yeah,

(15:22):
she told me it was bad. They wasn't gonna listen.
So just I mean, it's all in who contributes to
your to your village because they think it's like you said,
naggy or all up in their business. But you ain't

(15:43):
got no business. If I got to go and if
I got to tell you to go in the bathroom
and how do your business, you ain't got no business.
So when you just got to come out the bag,
I just want you to call me and say some craziness,
like tell me something crazy you responded to when you
address some of this house etiquette that you're dealing with

(16:04):
in your household call me and just make me grab
me or cut water because you and baby fall out
because you hain't got stood firm and you had laid
the law down. I want to hear your voice go
up a notch. I want all of that.

Speaker 2 (16:21):
Jesus, where my voice a lot her cursory come out.

Speaker 1 (16:27):
Oh it's okay, so okay.

Speaker 2 (16:30):
My daughter recently, just in the car ride, she said
something to me, and but the way she said it,
it was in a tone in which her dad and
it's like a sarcasm, and she gave me a little
look like I'm gonna say, I asked her to do something.
I asked her a question and she listens. I'm like,

(16:52):
you don't hear me.

Speaker 1 (16:53):
So who gave her the right to make you revisit Trump?

Speaker 2 (17:00):
Who gave who.

Speaker 3 (17:04):
For her to treat you like someone that she knows
hurt you.

Speaker 2 (17:09):
Because it's what she sees around her. So I feel
like this too. If a parent other parent doesn't have
respect for one the other parent, then the kid can
kind of pick that up too. They can see where
they can walk over the individual. And I feel like
that's when my daughter picked up. So she's a little
she's different with me than she is with her dad.
And she wouldn't dare say the stuff she say to

(17:31):
her dad. But because I'm nice and I let her
get away with a lot. Because I remember being a kid,
my uncle and uncle who raised us from like twelve
on up to like sixteen strict couldn't do nothing.

Speaker 1 (17:45):
Well, you know this crazy conversations with miss keV. So
let me tell you this. When you said don't respect you,
know you you live in North London, a right, okay,
And I told you that's where I'm from, right Okay.
They got something to make uncooperative co parents respect you.
But we're gonna keep on going keeping.

Speaker 2 (18:06):
We're gonna keep talking.

Speaker 1 (18:07):
They got something, they got something to make people respect you.
You know where we're from. So again, it's no reason
for your your team to make you feel any kind
of way because she wants to make you relive some
trauma that you didn't design. And so instead of some

(18:31):
of these teams not jumping on sides, but they know
right and wrong, but they will be so quick to
jump on the wrong side just for a number one
at McDonald's. Ye that that person I ain't got to
do nothing else, but supply that number one, a medium,

(18:54):
not even a large. See that grinch like asking me
for grinch meals like they got whole jobs tea tight woo.
Maybe so. Also in the books, we needed to find
out why is accountability? So it's so much harder with

(19:19):
teams in this generation.

Speaker 2 (19:23):
Because accountability is harder because we've let them get away
with so much. I think we crippled them with trying
to be a good parent. Maybe we didn't have the
best parenting, or we feel like we didn't have the
best parenting, so we gave them so much so they
don't have to be accountable with them because you've been
doing it all this time. Now you want to tell
me to act a certain way and do a certain things,

(19:46):
But I've been getting away with it all this time
of day.

Speaker 1 (19:50):
Well, because I guess I was taking up all your
time when we had our little time, when we were
getting to know you and your your project. You said
that you it was something that you wanted to know
about me, and I shouldn't just be in your business.
You want to know some things about me, so uh

(20:12):
some and I were ready for what you want to
get in our business? Come on, what words?

Speaker 2 (20:21):
I was sold? You raised sixteen girls, sixteen girls in
one household. Tell me your business, your own business? How
did that?

Speaker 1 (20:34):
Yes, I had I had a bonus child, and I
was the guardian of one of my deceased daycare parents child.
I had two foster daughters that were siblings, and I
had two biological daughters of my own, So that looked wild.

(21:00):
It was a lot at times because four of them
had were the same age, so it was like I
had two seven year olds then to nine year olds
so and then being the same age as my daughters

(21:24):
as well. So that was a whole lot, you know,
to do. But again, fostering was very important, and it
was one of the things that you know, I love
to do. You know, I do say crazy stuff about
you know, mothers stripping and dancing and leaving their kids.

(21:46):
But again, if it was not for those moms that
you know, had to make some disturbing decisions, you know,
some of those moms are moms that have blessed me
with the hundreds of kids that I was able to
foster and also mentor. So again, you know, with that,

(22:09):
it looked very, very difficult, and I just knew that
that song was gonna I was scared to tell her,
you know, when we had met at the class reunion.
I'm like, no, we were on a good terms right now,
everything's looking positive. I just can't tell her what's at

(22:33):
my house, I said, I just can't tell her what
at my house. But you know, it was, it was,
it was, It was a lot, but it was fun
at times. Like I said, I was a different type
of mom. You know, I didn't like the back and forth,

(22:53):
the sibling going back and forth, and you know, ooh,
I'm gonna slap you now, I'm gonna do this you.
I was the type of mama that went in the
living room and moved the furniture. So you all want
to fight every time I go to bed. So I
take the dining room table and put it in front
of the house. I take the dining room chess and

(23:16):
put them on the porch. Now, y'all go for what
y'all know, because you're not gonna keep waking me up.
You can get them on the phone right now, mister Earth,
get get them, call any either one of them and
ask them. I'm woven the furniture. Y'all won't get it out,
y'all system, because I cannot keep going through this and
I gotta hit this floor and fall a m every morning,

(23:37):
and y'all wait until I go upstairs and then y'all
kick it off. So no, I'm telling you. So it
was hard, but again it was it was nice. Some
of the things they like I said, they were all baptized,
they they attended church, they all graduated high schools, all

(24:00):
of those things were some went to college. It's just
I still look back and when I think about the
parenting and these house ethics that I did not have
in place the way I should have. You know, but
these teens did not understand that we as kids had

(24:24):
to have a whole meal ready when our parents got home.
We had to pick up six siblings from school, get
them home, get dinner started. Mama already left the note
on the refrigerator take the chicken out, so again we
got to have the sides ready before she even get there.
So you asked these kids to take some out the freezer,

(24:46):
and you already know what was going on. You already know.
Everybody else social media don't know what the period everybody
don't know. So I just, I mean, do you feel
like teens are struggling with their identity? How do you

(25:08):
do you think a lot of them are.

Speaker 2 (25:12):
I think there's an identity struggle, but the most important
is the afford right. They don't like the author figure,
like they don't want to be told what to do
because now they're living now, they've grown. Social media paints
a different picture for them, and a lot of them
are living from that aspect that think they're like the

(25:34):
social media and it's not.

Speaker 1 (25:36):
Like this is real life, and about that real life.
I want to ask some about what you said about
the house when you first had the opportunity to visit,
to tell the listeners what you said, We're gonna all
miss the earl a couple of bucks because you might

(25:57):
start a cursing call all them because I'm a post
dat on a check.

Speaker 2 (26:02):
No, it was like it was like a training house.

Speaker 4 (26:05):
It was like an institution, but it was it was
a training institution. The training you know, they knew how
to do everything. No, it was it was since girls,
but the girls. It didn't bother me because I grew
up with sisters. It's four of us, so it's I
used to.

Speaker 2 (26:22):
All the girls. So she was like I got that.
She was scared to say. I was like, oh, that's nothing.
But when you went that it was structured. It was
like a training house. Well, like you get to know
different different types of jobs.

Speaker 4 (26:34):
You need to know how to make money, you get
to know how to do like a power parunt it out.

Speaker 1 (26:39):
Man.

Speaker 2 (26:39):
It was like I said, it was a training house
to me clean up, cook but they knew how to
do everything. And you just preparing them.

Speaker 1 (26:48):
Yes, because I had just got into a relationship and
at that time when some came around, they were all
about to leave for you know, they've finishing in high school,
so everybody was about to branch out. So that made
the world of a difference too, you know. But I

(27:12):
mean I wanted them to be able to live without
me because I always tell them, you know, Mom is
not guaranteed to be here, so these are the things
that you should know. And yeah, I did have them
writing showing them how to write a check, how to
write a personal check, just in case Mom is sick.

(27:34):
I said, if I ever get sick and I can't write,
you all can write this out for me. I mean,
I did have an illness that took me from not
being able to be able to write in different things
like that. But again it's not always you know, your
biological kids that will learn the things that you need

(27:56):
them to learn in order to give you the proper care.
Because again, this was a child that I was a
guardian too, that would take my bandages, rewrap them, retake
care of my wounds. And you know, I lived in
the house with a whole nother adult, but I had

(28:17):
to reach out to a child. But because I've showed
that child those things and to always let them know
that your parents are not guaranteed to be here, and
these are life skills that you all need to be
listening and watching me. I'm not doing this in front
of y'all for nothing. So learn what I'm trying to

(28:41):
tell you, because again, God forbid, you should. If something happens,
you don't have to go live with anybody. You know
how to maintain, You know what to do when you
get out there. And I was so grateful for the
way some did bring it to me because you know,

(29:01):
I tried my best with what I knew. You know,
I can only teach them as much as I knew,
So a lot of things that we had to do
as teens we did on ourselves. We did ourselves. So
this is why I I get upset to see that.

(29:27):
And then you you have that in your book about
the peer pressure. You know, when parents know that their
child and their kids are going through some severe peer pressure,
what kind of advice can you give parents? But that
part made me nervous because.

Speaker 2 (29:46):
I think we just have to be understanding and remember
like when we were kids, because I remember what fear
pressure looked like for me, and I just remember being
told not to be a father, so I couldn't be
what you was doing because I knew that my mom
and dad used to whoopings like they. I knew if

(30:07):
I did something, I was getting a whooping. And I
come from a family of nine but eight of us
in the house together that I was the example setting,
so per pressure for me, I didn't follow people because
I didn't want whooping or I didn't want my siblings
to see this happening, and they felt like that was
the way to go. But what my daughter's dealing with it,

(30:28):
I see the shift in her energy a body language, Shane,
She's more aggressling, and I'm like, so something happened that
you're not telling me about. So when I'm talking to
her about per pressure, I tell her you can't be
like everybody else. You gotta stand out. So you being
like everybody else, then nobody's gonna respect you and they
can't take you seriously because it looked like you don't
have your own life.

Speaker 1 (30:48):
Yeah, because the one of the things that when we
were doing research was the the way that teen girls
how they act inside the home opposed to outside the home.
And we were talking about the how soon should you

(31:14):
start teaching them? I mean this independence need to be
started at a young age, just like the hygiene component.
I mean as early as too. When they start going
to the bathroom by themselves, they should be taught proper

(31:38):
for the bathroom, I promise you, because you will not
always sit on a pink soft talget See, sometime they
will be out at North Riverside and they may have
to use their facilities and you already know how that
how that is, So you know how how are What

(32:00):
advice are you giving for parents on helping to be
on confidence?

Speaker 2 (32:08):
Well, so I think what's important to consider when you're
dealing with your child confidence is letting them pick things
like given to take when you go shopping for like
toilet tees. They should be able to go with you
and pick it like the brands that they want, because
my daughter is big on it. It's something that's already eat.
I never heard of TikTok.

Speaker 1 (32:27):
You said they should be able to pick the brain.

Speaker 2 (32:29):
Pick the brand, so if if they can afford it,
So if you can't afford it, then they should be
able to like pick up what they want. But not
it being like a crazy couse. I think that matters
because that's helping them build their identity.

Speaker 1 (32:43):
To I see you. They're gonna call me until nothing crazy.
I see that now because you talk about you that
they'll pick the brand. Yeah, so I don't care if
it's secret and great value got it too. Yeah, we
going with the great.

Speaker 2 (32:56):
Back and that's that's understandable. So sometimes we have to
go with great guys because in my pocket don't always
look to those names. So I'll let her have for me.
That's like a treat for her. But when she started
acting a certain way, you're not picking what you want
to pick no more because you not even treating more.
So that men go to don Truth, then we go
to Dola treoth Okay, So that sounds like it, but

(33:17):
it's she gets stuff like she got that privilege to
pick what she want, but at the same time, that
privilege didn't get poll based on have to treat it
and if it's an inconsistency, like I do something for
you and you nice to me and then you mean
after I'm not doing it any more.

Speaker 1 (33:32):
And the reason why I was questioning you so much
about the confidence part is because after seeing the way
I was parent the way I did majority of my parenting,
it made me want to help. And by me being

(33:58):
in the daycare industry, the need for confidence is something
that I have to do every day. And with the
confidence component that made me become a life coach, and
confidence is my specialty. So I bold confidence, and I

(34:22):
as I read and finished up that part of your summary,
I knew that building confidence is sometimes harder in the
African American household.

Speaker 2 (34:38):
I would say it is too, because sometimes the confidence
means me letting her say that she needs to say
to me, and me not getting in my feelings. Because
I'm an adult in huge child sometimes they have to
say it because if you keep shutting them down, they're
gonna go into the bald and shut down or respond
in a way that's not even good for them and

(35:00):
that moment. So when it comes to the confidence, I
let her talk, but I also tell her to remember
I'm gonna let you talk, but remember I am your moer.
So you can't say things a certain way, but say
it but be respectful because I don't want you to
think you can be disrespectful. And you saying what you
need to say.

Speaker 1 (35:16):
And now I'm gonna just put you down for December ninth,
twenty twenty six of calling me to say that you
said something crazy, because I just don't think it's gonna
happen between the next twenty one days. So I'm just
gonna put you down for next year. This sound of days.

Speaker 2 (35:36):
I'm crazy.

Speaker 1 (35:36):
Yeah, if you just go home and say something crazy, what.

Speaker 2 (35:40):
Dud will so my crazy? I don't really go crazy.
And I think I don't go crazy because of what
I experienced as a child. I was a child who
was shut down. I was a child that had to
hear people could either. So the most crazy I'm gonna
go is saying fuck or and that's it, and I'm
gonna get loud and then she's like, oh, are you
acting like that? Because that's the only way you listening too.

Speaker 1 (36:02):
That's the only way. When you have to act like that,
I can't believe it. Just some of the stuff I'll
be out to say. I'm like, I'm tired of every
Sunday I'm filling out a response card and saying pray
for my kids.

Speaker 2 (36:15):
That's why.

Speaker 1 (36:16):
I mean, they know who what's going on at that point,
you know, So every Sunday I'm submitting the same car
because I said some all week to them, and every
Sunday I know they I mean, I love my church,
boom shella. They no, I love it, but I know
they tied that I don't miss a prairie question, I

(36:36):
promise you. And then it's just like they like, oh
it's her kids again, Yes, my kids again. So it's like,
oh my god. So we've got to have those strict
moments because again, what they don't even understand what's gonna

(36:57):
happen to them when somebody on the street said, and
don't necessarily have to be a friend. They can be
a friend or a friend you know how they go
places in entourage. You can be musty and walk into
one of your friends friends house, you know, and see
and then like I said, you gonna take You'll take that.
But if mom say, you know what we just I

(37:19):
just went to bathroom body works. I got a whole
lot of fragrances gone in there. Take care of yourself
and enjoy those new purchases that I made. They gonna
fly behind, they gonna fly off the hind door. All
they gonna say they having all kind of triggers and uh,
we did this and we did that. At this point,

(37:40):
I just love to be blamed for everybody life being
bad because when they start that bad mom stuff, I'll say,
bad daughter. That's what I said. When now I say,
if father's a bad mom, ask yourself for what kind
of daughter would you? What kind of song were you?
Y'all help me release some of my trauma for real.
So I can't wait to see you in Chicago and

(38:04):
all over the world showing parents how to put these
this epic but into they lies because it got to
be something that everybody has. So what are you gonna
do next?

Speaker 2 (38:21):
So the next thing?

Speaker 1 (38:23):
Go ahead.

Speaker 2 (38:24):
My next thing is to do a book signing. I'm
looking to do it at a coffee shop. I was
looking into the library, so hopefully it'll be done. Like
the early part of January, that's what I'm looking to
while they're like fresh off of break. I want the
opportunity to put books into girls hands that can't possibly
afford it, Like there's no way that they can afford it.

(38:46):
I want to be able to do that. I'm looking
to bring together a program where I could do like
sponsor maybe ten girls and have them have the opportunity
to make sure their clothes are washed on a weekly basis,
they have the toilet treats that they need, and just
as the court system and not being their mom, but

(39:08):
being somebody that care.

Speaker 1 (39:09):
Me and they don't need any So that's my book,
and I think that's gonna be amazing for you. So
since you have completed the book, can you tell me
if anything has changed in your household?

Speaker 2 (39:28):
No?

Speaker 1 (39:28):
Well, so it do, and then it go back down.

Speaker 2 (39:32):
Because then on you last for a moment. So she
started reading it. And when I noticed that when she
was reading and she was doing the same thing that
I was doing, We're read it and be like, oh
that's so, what can we do to change it? So
I did confirm her about the room. She changed her
room up. She makes sure she keep it looking in
a certain way because that's the part of the book

(39:53):
where she want to where it talks about your versus
your room is your first apartment. And I'm like, however
you treat this room is how you're gonna treat your apartment.
So if you if you leave a junk people food
under the bed and things like that, that's how your
apartments on it. So she changed how she do her room,
her closes and all over the floor, and she's mindful

(40:13):
of that. And because she don't want to hear me talk.

Speaker 1 (40:18):
Well, I don't want the listeners to feel like your
book House Etique fourteen Girls is more than or a
book of rules. You know, It's about identity, confidence, self respect.
And I promise you we appreciate everybody that can contribute

(40:41):
to someone's life because just like missus Lexis just said
that she wants to help some children and some teens
that she don't know, and that right there is a
lot because this generation is some of these teens are
just not welcoming and open, you know, so you're gonna

(41:03):
have to do a whole lot to to reach them.
But just by reading everything, you ready, you ready and.

Speaker 2 (41:13):
If you notice to like uh in the book out
on yous verse in the book, because I want them
to see like this is coming from their standpoint, like
as a teenager, I should be doing this, I should
want it to myself. So just helping them create that.

Speaker 3 (41:35):
It's okay to say clock thatess like this, they saying
that on tiktoking every nothing in every language, so clocked
that they understand, trust and believe.

Speaker 1 (41:46):
You may have some teen girls that we all get
together as a unit and and use your book as
a platform as they can as they start to help
their generation. Because again, it's only it has to be
passed down. It has to be passed down. And again

(42:07):
we just hope that they will embrace it because we
didn't really get the opportunity to embrace those times kind
of things that was just shoved down our throat, you know.
So I mean we couldn't say no, we wasn't gonna
take the chicken out, or we wasn't We couldn't say no,

(42:27):
I'm not picking my brother up from daycad, so we
could we cannot say those things. We had to have
things done when our parents got home from work. So
you know, some of the things that these teams get
away with is it's something and it just it. Basically,

(42:53):
I promise you if some of this stuff that this
generation of team is doing don't make you want to
get your tube time, That's all I can say. Because
it's too much. It's too much work. Though you know
it by I promise you, it's too much work. It's
like you can't please them in no way, shape of form.

(43:17):
You gotta be their friend. I just don't understand. I mean,
and I guess that's why so many parents walk around
and say, that's my bestie, but way to bestie, get
a maid baby. This this team generation, they will throw
they mama onn host it, but they may baby right

(43:38):
the pace across Miss County. Just put it like that.
They ain't thinking about mama. Then you see what I'm saying.
They mama will get drug from Hasted all the way
down to the damn rand. I'll promise you or to
bush for it. You cannot. I don't know. I'm I'm

(44:00):
lost somewhere, like it has to get better. And I'm
just so happy that at this age that I don't
have to really raise teen girls. Yes, I do work
with teen girls, but again it's only so much that
you know, I can pour without you know, overstepping my boundaries,

(44:25):
and you know, with parents, so you know that those
type of things are important. That's what I'm telling you
that this generation of pearents, a lot of them don't
want the help of the village unless they late picking
their kid up from daycare. Then they call the village,

(44:46):
you see what I'm saying. Or you know, they they
laid on their rank or whatever the case may be,
then they want the village. So it has to be
a better way that we will be more receive, have
people helping us keep ray ray out of trouble, to
keep you know what I'm saying, because sometimes you know

(45:08):
how those de lead people on the block and some
of them that wasn't el that was just your parents. Ay,
how they would always say, just because you don't listen now,
you ain't gonna be about nothing later, you see what
I'm saying. So with that being said, I promise you
I just want to go on the block and just

(45:28):
I want to spend the block and say I'm sorry.
When I had my kids and they running up and
down the street and they telling me you can't be
over here thinking you're gonna party and go visit everybody
and leave your kids with people. Yeah, I did that,
So I got on agus. I was so frantic that

(45:50):
I was on the block, you know, and some of
the people were sitting on the porch and stuff. Can
you watch kids? Who a little? I'll be right right
right right back. And now I didn't come right right back.
So well again, I totally know what it felt like
to take advantage of the village, you know. So I
wish I had that opportunity to reach out to some

(46:13):
of those that were in my village because they were
telling me to, you know, listen, this is how you
should do this. Make them pick that up behind themselves,
you know. But we just were the type of parents
that we didn't want anybody telling our kids anything. But
we get mad at families say don't show up at

(46:33):
my house with your kid, you know. So those type
of things was important our households. Like if my household,
my mom had company. If she had company, my auntie
men was over there and they played tump. If my
auntie called me for seventeen beers in twelve minutes, I
better not frown up. My attitude better not change. If

(46:57):
my auntie called me seventeen times, it's said get her
something out the crop pot. If I look like I
got an attitude, you know, we well, I always had
the reports that my children knew how to act outside
the house, so they never really had to go to

(47:19):
the school for behavior issues. But the behavior issues was
all through the house, you know. So it bothers me because,
like I said, so much that I was taught, and
I just felt like they was mean and you know

(47:40):
why they try to tell my mama what I need
to be doing and all of that. So we need
to understand that word village. So now that's something that
I am trying to and steal harder with the teens
and the young mothers that I come in content with

(48:00):
through work. So and some of them are open to listening.
And you still do have the ones that don't want
you to say anything to their children, And I feel
like that that's not right because you know, you should
be able to redirect a teenager that walks in and

(48:21):
do not say hello, or or a teenager that you know,
don't properly take the phone message. You know what I'm saying,
if you have an emergency and you're calling and you
know you gave a descriptive message, but it was not really,
it was not passed on like that. So again it's

(48:43):
certain things people just do not want you out. Don't
tell me she had no attitude on the phone when
you call, you know what I'm saying. You called our house.
You know see, people flips the script. So it's kind
of hard. But I believe if we just go back
to respected our village and love in our village and

(49:04):
allowing the village to assist us, I think that that
is going to be an amazing start. Along with your books.
So let everybody know exactly where they can reach you,
how they can get your book, how it needs to
be in some Christmas stockings. I got nine from Amazon

(49:25):
in twenty four hours, so if you're a Prime member,
get it early, so go ahead me selection so.

Speaker 2 (49:32):
You could purchase the books via Amazon. It is twelve dollars.
And the reason I made it twelve dollars because the
girls become preteens at twelve.

Speaker 1 (49:41):
You know, a girl, you have to you don't have
to tell people your bes, just me, just me.

Speaker 2 (49:48):
So y'all can purchase it on Amazon, and that's the
only places available. But in January I will have them
on hand, so if you want a book to come
pick it up and meet me. You can't do that.
I'm located at Creative Salon on sixteenth and Plastic Creative
and that's pretty much it.

Speaker 1 (50:10):
Yeah, I think the you know tonight, what a powerful conversation,
you know, Miss Alexis. I thank you for pouring into
Team girls and to parents and to households all across
the country. You know, your work, your voice is needed.

(50:30):
It is needed out here in households again. And to
let the parents know and understand that they can talk
the way they need to talk clock the team. They
can say that if the kids is talking crazy, talk
back crazy. If they talking back to you, talk back.

(50:51):
That's what you do with us parents. These parents got
to stick together. Now we're gonna have to have a meeting.
We have to have a meeting. These kids say for
But but I appreciate everything that you are crrent into
households again because it is such. It it's such, it's
such a need to make responsible team young women again.

(51:16):
We need to see some we do, we really do.
Because me just having a sixteen year old son, I'm
just not pleased with some of the people, the young
ladies that have to call and when he calls me
all lunch, how they be saying stuff about his mama
in the background. You know, these are the things that
people need to get, these books that they can teach

(51:38):
their daughters how to talk around other people's parents. It's
just it's a need. It's definitely a need. But again,
thank you so much for coming. And okay, thank you
so much for listening to crazy conversations with mss Kim
on the station that feeds your brain intellectual Radio dot com.

(52:02):
My friends, let that show