Crazy Conversations with Ms. Kim

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Blow up one time, one time for the babies on
the south side, the east side, the.

Speaker 2 (00:14):
West, southwest, dot the north side, shot out shut.

Speaker 3 (00:26):
Hey friends, thank you so much for tuning in to
Crazy Conversations with Ms Kim on Intellectual Radio dot com.
And of course you already know we are the station
that feeds your brain. Welcome back to Crazy Conversations. I

(00:46):
am here today with WiFi for LIFEE and executive producer
Sumner Allman. How are you you roughing it out? That's okay,
us soldier your rider for real and I appreciate it.
Thank you so much for wanting to come on tonight

(01:08):
to have this grown up conversation a little bit from
what we had on our last show. This conversation is
really going to be broken up to two segments or

(01:31):
two little conversations so we can get some of the
conversations that we neglected during our time off. We can
get a little caught up so everybody can feel the
craziness from Crazy Conversations. So again, welcome back, you back.

(01:54):
You are year older. You left fifty one, came back
fifty two. You look amazing.

Speaker 4 (02:04):
I apprecid.

Speaker 3 (02:06):
How did you enjoy your birthday?

Speaker 4 (02:09):
Really well?

Speaker 3 (02:09):
Else? You did. Yes, we did so much. You paying
for it now? It's okay, yeah, you're paying for it now.
You know, when they hear people with their voice like that,
they say, oh, no, you had too much or whatever
you had, you had too much of it. So I'm
just trying to let everybody know we were doing everything

(02:32):
in moderation. So again tonight on Crazy Conversations, we are
talking about the life after departing your ex, the healing
and moving on, how does moving forward looks? And that

(02:53):
next conversation would be when the excuses kids as ponds.
If they can't have you, they don't want the kids either.
So again that's one of the topics tonight on Crazy
Conversations with mss Kim. So we are going to start
with the extension from last week because let me go

(03:20):
back to I had a few little notes and from
last week we had such a powerful conversation regarding how
to peacefully and with the ex and healthy ways that
you can depart. So you know, last time we talked

(03:43):
about the best ways to depart from your ex, you know, respectfully, clearly,
and most of all peaceful. But what happens after you
close that chapter? That's where the real work begins. So
people think once they say okay, it's a wrap, you gone,

(04:04):
I'm gone, that the work is over. The work sometimes
just starts. So again we are talking about the temptation
to revisit. Why people go back? Is it because of loneliness, comfort,

(04:28):
unfinished feelings? Help me out?

Speaker 4 (04:33):
Obsession?

Speaker 3 (04:35):
Obsession?

Speaker 2 (04:37):
Wow session, Yes, see, people want to go around that
may word it's an obsession. Out of ten the one
person had completely gone all the way they go, But
it's just a what person just would have linger on?

Speaker 3 (04:51):
That's obsessed.

Speaker 4 (04:53):
It's obsession, but just just to me, okay, this is
what that I feel?

Speaker 3 (04:57):
And then when do you see that much? Or do
you just see that every so often?

Speaker 4 (05:07):
It's happening a lot lately. I see it.

Speaker 2 (05:10):
It's to the point like pretty much you separated, you separated,
your divorce, you divorced, you split up, whatever it goes
pretty much one part of it is really pretty much
go like but pretty much eighty percent yet But it's
just otherwise just it would a linger.

Speaker 3 (05:26):
On and and after they have done so much to
get away from that person, they're still lingering on. That
just sounds like to be to me.

Speaker 4 (05:41):
With this, that's just how I feel.

Speaker 3 (05:44):
Okay, Well, if they are obsessed, then that means that
they should have showed some of those U characteristics during
they were the time that they were dating.

Speaker 4 (06:02):
See, everyone break us for a different reasons.

Speaker 3 (06:05):
Why would you get obsessed when it's over.

Speaker 2 (06:10):
Everybody's different Some people do because with some people just
can't believe, Like wow, then I fight for me. Then
I this day and out that once again, like I
said it Lass conversation, our first segment is delusion of
Sometimes people just lean their own self on They're just
how I feel.

Speaker 3 (06:30):
So you don't so you don't think that obsession is
a little harsh, especially when you are trying to get
people to feel comfortable with rebuilding trust after a heartbreak,

(06:53):
because if you describe it as obsession, that would make
me not want to get back out there.

Speaker 2 (07:00):
I'm session to the poor like just like do you
want it to end? Do you want to begin in?
Do you want to keep up being a victim? But sometimes,
like I say, obsession, you can put it. You can
put it the way that you want to put it.
You can put it in any category rightw you want
to put it? With this, say I feel obsession to
me to the poor, like it's it's okay.

Speaker 4 (07:18):
Of course everyone's gonna be heartbroken. People are. But if
two parties moved on and you still live it on, like.

Speaker 3 (07:27):
Stop and when you say lingering on, just how like
use excuses?

Speaker 2 (07:34):
Like I said, everyone everyone had a heartbreak, everyone like
had to heartbreak. Everyone not perfect. Every situation didn't end,
doesn't even have to end bed not situ what you
did in you bad. But it's to the poor, like
if it's if it's not over my thing to the poor.
Like people need to take their time, you know what
I'm saying. When you get through with the situation, you

(07:55):
do need to just step back for a moment, just
we evaluate yourself to see like like even to put
the figure at you or for the put the figure
at the person that you was with.

Speaker 3 (08:05):
But sometimes you just gotta look yourself. So the best
thing that you need to do when you are uh
splitting up or moving on, you definitely can't come with
that baggage. What baggage, the baggage of the pains, the

(08:28):
reason why you're breaking up. You're not gonna bring that
to the new You need to sit down, right, yeah,
you do. You need to sit down. It ain't nothing
wrong with that, And it's okay to be a pain.
It's okay to be heard. And when you say sit down,
how long should they be entired?

Speaker 2 (08:47):
Okay, I can't describe no one else. I only have
to describe myself.

Speaker 3 (08:51):
How long did you stay in time out? Have you
ever had a moment where in between a break up
you had a long time to yourself to just it was?
It was build, rehabilitate, it was it was a modeln't

(09:13):
think so? Really just ready to bust that? Ye, I
don't think so. I don't think you've ever been single.
But that's a whole nother conversation. I don't think you
have ever been single. And just so we don't take
it there. You know, we don't have that conversation. Trusting me.

Speaker 2 (09:37):
Yes, but everyone had a heartbreak. I was to you know,
and what I don't have heartbreaks.

Speaker 3 (09:46):
I don't believe it.

Speaker 4 (09:48):
Everyone hast well yes, hereaks.

Speaker 3 (09:50):
You're right, everyone does have heartbreaks. But I believe you
were doing a heartbreaking. It was both ways broke your heart.
Of course they had what year that's usable. I'm not
talking about it pre k or daycare. I'm saying for real,

(10:11):
someone've had your heart broke. Yes, I don't.

Speaker 2 (10:15):
Believe it, of course, of course you're always saying, but
I just for real I did, and I might have
brought someone heart to then my friends say way about me,
But I could be honest about me. Yes, the word
but it's okay, and it's okay, okay, they Jersey. Would
I know about the healing? See, that's all I know. People,

(10:35):
I know about the healing.

Speaker 3 (10:37):
You wouldn't know. You wouldn't know what to do appropriately.
Now if you hadn't had your heart broke. You are correct, Yeah,
you are correct. You you have to go through it
because you know not to mishindle me and I know

(10:59):
not to miss twing, do you? And that comes from
an experienced past, a past, you know, not perfect, but
experienced expirits. You know. People want to quick to say
you know something about your past, but they were experiences.

(11:20):
So because they are bad, they were experienced.

Speaker 2 (11:25):
There was a spirited little No one can say anything
about each other past. It's a past, and it was
an experience. Like I said, it was a low bad experiency.
I ain't goo degrade it like that. It was a
e spirit that I had to learn and I learned
a lot from it. So, like I said, you know
people heard.

Speaker 3 (11:40):
So you're saying that you never had those temptations to
revisit our relationship. You never, You didn't, you haven't backslid.

Speaker 4 (11:51):
I did. Okay, I did. Like I said, I did
it once again.

Speaker 2 (11:56):
It's it's each just those people decided to do it,
no matter I was younger.

Speaker 3 (12:01):
Well, why you always telling me kill me? You you
messed this up? You better not call my phone no more.
Why you've been.

Speaker 4 (12:09):
Saying that, Like, so I'm fifty, I'm over.

Speaker 3 (12:12):
Fifty, backslide that time? Okay, it's over. I just thought.

Speaker 1 (12:17):
I know.

Speaker 3 (12:18):
No, I'm just saying, you always be like but I
cannounderstand it serious. I know that I know that that
age fourteen sumner compared to this fifty two year old. Yeah,
so I definitely understand. But when we so, how do

(12:45):
you know that you're truly ready for a new relationship?
Is it? Is it a certain timeline. I'm not saying
that anybody passed away. I'm not saying it was a divorce.

(13:06):
I'm saying just a random situationship.

Speaker 2 (13:11):
Will you take accountability of your part of the departure
of the.

Speaker 3 (13:14):
Relationship okay, so taking accountability. Okay, it was my fault. Hey,
I did not put into into this relationship the way
I should have.

Speaker 2 (13:26):
So you just peace? Would you know when you have peace?
But like I say, everyone is different. Some people might
just want to people. Some people still want to ask
a question what happened? Of course they go, but they
still would ask what happened?

Speaker 3 (13:42):
So how do you keep from punishing the next person
for mistakes that was made in your last relationship or
a situationship? How do you keep from punishing the new person?

Speaker 4 (13:59):
Be still?

Speaker 2 (14:01):
Like I you know I said earlier, sometimes you just
have to see something out. You just have to be
still and work on you because it's love failed to
the best person to go through what you're with them.

Speaker 3 (14:12):
And you remember when I was saying that. You know,
sometimes you know, you can't even tell people what you
do for a living. You can't tell people to address
to your job. You can't you know, you can't do
things the way you know our parents and aunts and
uncles were able to do things back then, because like

(14:35):
you said, it does bring upon some of those characteristics
of a session and stalker ish, those type of things
you know that people do when you are trying to depart. So,
like you said, sometime it doesn't start until you try
to end. So as long as you were in the relationship,

(14:58):
you didn't show me that you were obsessed. But when
I said that I cannot do it anymore, then you
came out the bag on me. But but I'm gonna
keep on saying this.

Speaker 2 (15:14):
Everyone who was in a relationship, everyone who was in
the marriage real life, was really meant to be everyone
everyone I'm meant to be.

Speaker 4 (15:22):
With each other.

Speaker 2 (15:23):
But certain things we get together for a reason. When
you have a reason to get together, you use the
excuse to get together to get married. That's pre problems
come in there. Just because you guys have had no
connection anyway. You guys use that connection of doing something.

Speaker 3 (15:38):
So when you say that just no connection, you mean like,
uh that you would get you would almost go with
anybody to.

Speaker 4 (15:54):
If you try to.

Speaker 2 (15:55):
Rest to get out the house. It's anything wants to
get like people does me.

Speaker 3 (16:00):
Oh, you triggered me, So listen, you triggered me because
I rushed to get out the house. But you triggered
me because I rush to get out the house. But okay,
I'll let you finish. So how do you know that
you've actually started to heal?

Speaker 2 (16:24):
The boy is the question that do you want to
hear or are you ready to heal?

Speaker 4 (16:29):
What are you hearing from?

Speaker 2 (16:30):
You hear it from yourself, You hear it from the situation,
You hear it from the person itself, You hit it
from what. So, like I said, you have to start
asking your question to the poor, like this is what
I really want? And once again a lot of people
be delusion or they don't they be like to the
poor like they don't know what they want right now.
They just want to be the victim, but they want
to be the vitom and they still want to be

(16:51):
a part of that.

Speaker 3 (16:53):
And so when you say want to be a part
of that? How still have your feet in? Its?

Speaker 4 (17:03):
Still have your feet?

Speaker 2 (17:05):
How?

Speaker 4 (17:06):
Water?

Speaker 3 (17:07):
Like playing double dutch? Yes you half in, half out?
You trying to know when to go in or stay out? Okay,
I get it. And so we were talking last week
about using therapy, journaling, faith and support groups. Did you

(17:35):
find out any groups that we could give out to
the listeners or should or will we have that available
next week? Because I would like to share that those
couple support groups because you know, I realized that it's

(17:55):
a support group for everything, and if it's not, you
can start one with one other person. So again, and
it's a support group. So again, we definitely would like
to extend that to some listeners so that they can

(18:16):
know that going through a departure from a short term
or long term relationship is always devastating, but nobody ever
talks about, what did they say, the healing after the departure.
So again that's what we are talking about again, the

(18:40):
healing process, you know, the healing process, and why do
we often want to return to that hurt? Why would
we be willing to return to that hurt? So that's
what a listener called the ex relapse, when you return

(19:06):
to the hurt when you've gotten away from it, and
then you return right back to it.

Speaker 2 (19:11):
But that's to the point that you never left it,
So there's no return to anything that.

Speaker 4 (19:16):
You lever left. So you never they never let lever left.
Lever left.

Speaker 3 (19:22):
And so when you decide that you want to rekindle
something minor or major with someone that you departed from,
does it always block healing? Can you heal if you

(19:44):
went back to someone that you departed from?

Speaker 2 (19:49):
So y'all don't know any think about that, although personally
I don't any think about going back to anything. So
because I'm not going back to any I'm not going
back here. Yeah, but to each us all, we well
know you no you never thow nothing, no no, no.

Speaker 3 (20:10):
So well then you definitely the one for that conversation
most definitely you all take it to whole nothing left.
Like I said to each of all, whoever decides to
do it, that's they not wrong and they're not right.

Speaker 4 (20:25):
That's their choice.

Speaker 2 (20:26):
So you can't like everyone is different. I'm not saying
because I'm not going back because they was.

Speaker 4 (20:31):
There was bad people.

Speaker 3 (20:32):
Know.

Speaker 4 (20:33):
Let me just reliterate there right now.

Speaker 2 (20:34):
No, I'm not saying that I'm not going backwards because
there was bid individuals. I'm not saying that because of that.
That's just me to me, like to my choice. To
the point, like if it's been for me to go backwards,
I would have been there to work on it accessibly
a day to keep working on it. I love would
have moved forward with the way that I did.

Speaker 3 (20:53):
I almost forgot about the the support system Stratagy said
I had written down because they said, miss Kim, can
you let the listeners know some strategies that they can
use when they're getting ready to depart. So one of

(21:14):
the strategies was before or right after the breakup, line
up a friend, a therapist, or a family member for
check ins when you're tempted to call or text your ex,
text your accountability partner instead. Why it works, they said,

(21:37):
it works because breakup triggers loneliness. Outside support helps stop
unhealthy rebound contact. So again, those are called support system strategies.
So again I appreciate her sharing those with me. I

(22:00):
would like to go back over some of those as well.
And the next thing that we wanted to talk about
is the glow up approach, and that's when you channel
that energy into something that is going to enhance your

(22:21):
personal growth. Like you take a class, you travel, you
go to the gym. Those are things that you can
do positively to take your mind off of some of
the pain that you have experienced and the reason that
you had to depart. I think the gem and the

(22:48):
journaling and travel is good. I think those are really good.
You know that that stops you from you know stock in,
they Instagram or any of those social media pages, or
you know, make you not want to think about what

(23:09):
you would like to be doing toxically some to some
people do that. They do that, so you said so,
but like you said, it be obsessions. It be obsessions
that I never thought of that word, but that that's
a good word to use. Yes, that's what it is.

(23:32):
So I know now to each his all, But that's.

Speaker 4 (23:35):
That's all obsession, That's what it is.

Speaker 3 (23:37):
Wow. And when we talked about last week, we talked
about strategies to share with the listeners and positive, peaceful
ways to depart, and we talked about the respectful exit,
how to exit respectfully? Do you remember how we summed

(24:02):
that up. Let's talk about it a kind conversation about
the respectful exit, like how do you somebody will be disrespectful.
I don't think an exit will come with two respectful individuals.

(24:26):
That's just my point.

Speaker 2 (24:27):
So that's what everyone have to do it excess separately
and do it peaceful. See, some people be wanting to
keep us to what they're gonna do, and well for
attention tho somethings.

Speaker 4 (24:38):
You just have to do it.

Speaker 2 (24:39):
At the end of the day, you see that, I'm
going But like I said, peaceful.

Speaker 3 (24:43):
But that's that used to matter a long time ago.
You used to be like you can you can say, look,
I care about you, but this relationship is not working out.
You know, it's not best for me anymore. And and
you're gone. You gone down to your your friend basement.

(25:06):
But no, you can't do that no more. You know,
you try to break up with people in there they
put your whole family is is a hostage.

Speaker 4 (25:16):
Wow, So it's like that.

Speaker 3 (25:19):
So now I see why you said obsessed. So that's
why they think when you break up with them or
when things are not working, then they can run to
the families. Yeah, that's what that's a good way.

Speaker 2 (25:35):
This always have to be the person who run into
the family. It's always could be the other person. Sit
they always go. They always go with the side of
the person who who filed for divorce. I always hit.
But they not the one who obsessed. But to me,
those are be the one who be obsessed. It's what
who failed to me because when they when you file

(25:58):
for the voice for a person, you ask them and
they really say yes to go through it, you shot
because a lot of people just throw their words out.

Speaker 4 (26:05):
So what do they go through?

Speaker 2 (26:07):
Any fidy go through and they go through all the
way with it and they like and there's little gonna
fight for it.

Speaker 4 (26:12):
To me, that's what they come in at.

Speaker 3 (26:14):
So you're saying the person that files the divorce or
the separation, they are they're stalkers.

Speaker 4 (26:24):
I ain't say, y'all.

Speaker 3 (26:25):
They're the obsessed ones.

Speaker 2 (26:28):
So they are always say the person who who got
the divorce, who said divorce too, is always the obsession
though that's no fair. So they are obsessed enough to
know I'm going to go to court from what maybe
twelve to fifteen. Don't you have to be heard it?
See my obsession don't have to be hurting like that.
My obsession is stalk with the Instagram page, just being.

Speaker 3 (26:51):
Petty or just seeing their face just just you.

Speaker 2 (26:54):
Know what I'm saying, Yeah, oh, just calling for this
if kids involved, just calling for this color for a
redman stuff. So that's to me, it's obsession. It's not
about the one get hurt. Oh no, it's not about
that all the time. That's not my obception like that.

Speaker 3 (27:08):
Well, when you say obsession, it confuses me because I
thought that that would take two or for someone to
even be able to be obsessed. What you mean, like

(27:29):
if a person is obsessed, why would they break up.
I'm confused, like, because we all why I'm gonna come
right out of a breakup and I'm gonna be obsessed
with you just.

Speaker 2 (27:44):
Because of when you pour the will you pour that
divorce and they finally go through with it, but you
you thought they wasn't, but they finally go through it
all the way. So now they said it over. So
there's no use to the poor, like where I would
get you don't matter. You were just throw it out
the wild card. But the wild card just got to drop.

Speaker 3 (28:05):
For all that I'm learning, I guess I wasn't.

Speaker 4 (28:08):
But that's just to me.

Speaker 3 (28:09):
I guess I wasn't liked at all. It's just saying
that it's for real. I didn't know. I didn't know
that people did things like that. But like I said,
a lot of people don't want to let go.

Speaker 4 (28:24):
Period.

Speaker 2 (28:24):
There's nothing wrong with that period. That's what I'm saying.
Everyone's situation breakup is different. Everyone at situation is different.
But just to talk to the people, it's just to
the poor, like you have the major choice of yourself,
but going backwards your choice and this is not what
we said is okay with So.

Speaker 3 (28:44):
It definitely would have to be boundaries. Definitely would have
to be boundaries set in order for those type of
relapses to not occur. Think that, you know, boundaries should
be grown people people to know exactly how to do it.

Speaker 2 (29:07):
Seriously, real life grown people know how to grown people
know how to do stuff.

Speaker 4 (29:12):
So but my thing is that it takes two people.

Speaker 2 (29:17):
But people always just say what, But it's always it
takes two Yeah, it's always just what.

Speaker 4 (29:22):
It's both parties.

Speaker 3 (29:23):
Yeah, it is. I can. I can admit when I've
had to I don't blame any anybody. When I have
to get on a certain level, I don't. I don't
blame anybody. You know, it is what it is. So
we have those situations. My life ain't perfect. So again,

(29:46):
if I have some issues that need to be addressed,
for sure, I'm going to dress. So that's just me.
That's just that's just how I live out here. So again,
if it's a situation, it has to be addressed in
it's gonna it has to be addressed. So it's it's

(30:06):
just in the respectful manner that things can be addressed.
And if other people don't handle it with respect, then
you always know how to come the next time. You know.

Speaker 4 (30:22):
You will.

Speaker 3 (30:25):
Again. I know you feel different, feel different, And that's
what makes it so amazing. And that's why these conversations
can go on for hours and hours and.

Speaker 4 (30:43):
To they go running the wrong answer because it's never.

Speaker 3 (30:46):
Any right or wrong. And believe me, every time we
learn something, we actually learn something. It would be different
if we put all that effort towards conversations and then
hours and hours go by and we have not learned

(31:06):
learned anything. So just like we can pour, we have
others that pour into us. When we get these the
first thing, I can't finish reading it before I'm blaming
the whole thing, oh song. Soon as I get the conversation,
I'll be like, now you ask somebody sitting there that

(31:27):
you know, did you do this song? So I already
know if she gets so mad where they gonna be here?
Sometimes she'd like that is Lodi, I don't know. I
don't know that person. So sometimes you get some things
that are very close to home. You could be going
through that same thing at that same given time. Nobody

(31:49):
is exempt from the BS on no day, nobody's exempt
from that. So what we were gonna talk about was
the the peaceful ways? Can you tell us about that
peaceful the peaceful ways that you suggested for the walk away,

(32:13):
the departure that peaceful, that peaceful walk away that you
say it's possible.

Speaker 2 (32:22):
Well, like I said, it deppears on a situation if
it's if you decid Latine is always going to be
a situation that a relationship did work out, even when
everyone that had no different the old the younger, meat
different I had, the different younger me did. But what
I did my younger year, I definitely would do it
in my older year. So to the poor life, certain

(32:45):
things don't even leed no reaction to it. Certain things
don't even leed no words to it. You just do
what you have to do. And like I said, peaceful
to me, when you walk away, you let me know
how you fact about me doing a relationship.

Speaker 3 (33:01):
I was gonna piggyback on what you said about obsession
because I'm not. I'm not breaking up with you, so
this doesn't apply to me. But again, you already know
that I would be obsessed. That would be me, So yeah,

(33:23):
that would be me. I would be stalking you all that. Yes,
I sure would be so yeah, so just keep it
woke and we won't have those issues. You won't have
those obsession issues. Okay, because again I know you are
describing some of my toxics, but it's okay, I got

(33:46):
you again, or crazy conversations with vis killer I always do.
We are talking about the life after departing your X.
How does the healing and moving forward look like it
would be? It would look different on everybody because it

(34:12):
doesn't look the same on a man as it looks
on a woman. So it's going to be different with
everyone in so many ways. With everyone. Yeah, because some
people you can just you could just look at them
like you don't even have to know them. You could

(34:34):
just be walking next to them in the grocery store.
You can look over there at them and you'd be like, oh,
they just left the voice cord. That just the way
some people just carry theirselfs. They carry that pain and
they don't try to smile at all.

Speaker 2 (34:54):
But some people, some people carry there doing a marriage
because a lot of people, you see a lot of people.

Speaker 3 (35:00):
Not see you're coming for me, See you, shy one,
see you shy one. Now now that's wrong, now go ahead, no.

Speaker 2 (35:11):
But once again, we have to be fair, you know
what I'm saying. I'm just saying people some people in marriage,
they live the same way they do. But sometime, like
I said, but once again, that's their choice. But it is.
It's not just reg relationships and it's just our relationships period.

Speaker 4 (35:27):
It could be any type of relationship. The people just
be look looking at the looking that way.

Speaker 3 (35:33):
Well, I whole few think I look a little better?
Do I look a little better?

Speaker 4 (35:38):
What do I smell about? What I'm just I'm all
the time.

Speaker 3 (35:42):
Now Because you say some people be in relationships and
be married, then they still be looking mad.

Speaker 2 (35:52):
If you're looking there after ten years, it's a problem.
It is if you still looking, if you still looking
from a pair of situation to your loose situation two
years later, it's a problem.

Speaker 3 (36:06):
I love the way I look so right now.

Speaker 2 (36:10):
That's what I'm saying that right now, Like I said,
everyone situation is different. I'm gonna look the way that
I look period. You know what I'm saying, just because
I'm I'm believe my situation. Like I said, in respect
of course, the respect specially kids or low kids.

Speaker 3 (36:29):
You don't you don't look like that at fifty two.
If you ain't got a lot of love in your life,
call you. I say, you can't look fifty two like that.
If you ain't got a lot of love in your life.

Speaker 4 (36:45):
Period, that's it. Let's All'll have no complaints.

Speaker 3 (36:50):
You definitely can't look fifty one and not being able
to experience love of the right way. I ain't worried
about it. This is gonna be me at seventy because
again I ain't going nowhere. I'm about to be obsessed.

(37:14):
You know, I'm about to give me a T shirt
and a key ring to say, I obsessed. So again,
I'm so obsessed. Every time I call your phone, I'm obsessed, Mama.
Some again, I'm obsessed again. We had the opportunity to

(37:36):
have that conversation, and again it had some very very
positive feedback, and people wanted others to know that they
get teased when they're going through departures. You know, they

(37:58):
get the temptation to reconnect, you know, they as they
prepare for a healthier relationship, you know, and they are
trying to reclaim their identity. You know, sometimes they will
you know, slip back into whatever it was that they

(38:20):
were in. They will slip back in But with that
being said, you know, we need to form those type
of positive support groups in our communities because when you
look out and when we reached out, there's so many

(38:41):
different support groups, and not just in person, a lot
of them are virtual. So there's really no excuse that
you do not have some sort of strategy your support But.

Speaker 2 (38:58):
Do think don't you think you should go watch your
therapy first? Did you think like you have to do
something like within yourself because you jump it out into
a group, it's super poor, Like, don't you think you
have to go with it?

Speaker 4 (39:11):
You have to talk about within yourself?

Speaker 3 (39:13):
So you think that because therapy was on that list
for them to try the therapy and the support group,
so even though therapy was like the second choice, it
would just basically be however they want to move, you know,

(39:36):
my therapy is the perfect component to implement in your
program first.

Speaker 4 (39:46):
So do you think.

Speaker 2 (39:49):
In our relationships, at the end of the posture, people
leave therapy?

Speaker 3 (39:57):
Yes, definitely, you and I would not use the therapist
that you used when you were in the previous relationship.
If you have a new situation, you should probably start

(40:22):
fresh with a new UH therapist as well, because just
like we bring baggage. Your therapist's gonna do the same thing,
because you can't just add on and add on and
I add on, you're just adding on with multiple people

(40:42):
and blah blah blah. So with that, I'm thinking a
new therapist would be a great idea.

Speaker 4 (40:52):
What do you think o a therapist? Period?

Speaker 3 (40:56):
So you say the therapists, where where does your minister
team go?

Speaker 2 (41:04):
I think, like I said, of course, always praise, you know,
you always have a you know, talk to God first.
But then, like I said, to it's like to each
his own. People don't have to go to a therapist.
They might, like I say, it's all to a spiritual guideness,
go do that way, or it might just go through
the support group. That might if you have the therapist.
But that's all I'm just asking. So okay, So.

Speaker 3 (41:24):
Even if they don't try therapy with the therapist, going
to the church and speaking with the ministers there.

Speaker 2 (41:38):
I think either one of those choices is a good
choice to do. Not doing anything is I think that's
not good. At least doing something to get it off you.

Speaker 3 (41:49):
And because do you feel like you can accomplish it
without any of those things, without putting any of those
reces sources inline.

Speaker 2 (42:01):
Because you go as flow, who you go like, who
you go talk to is pretty much everyone go judge you.
But if those three categories they not go judge in
your face. So that's pretty much that's what you need,
because any time you talk to anywhere about it, they
go to judge in your face.

Speaker 3 (42:16):
You're not gonna know how to react because you know,
a lot of people always say I don't want people
in my b business or you know those sorts of
those type of things. They don't want people in their business.
They think that you and I don't have the same
problem as Barbara and Bill. We do. We do have

(42:37):
the same problems. We do have the same everywhere. And
it's okay to talk to someone anyone.

Speaker 4 (42:44):
You can talk to anyone who you think you can
trust with your words.

Speaker 3 (42:46):
Yes, but that's the problem, that's the problem. Can you
say that.

Speaker 4 (42:52):
Part that's the problem?

Speaker 3 (42:53):
No, No, no about trust them with your words?

Speaker 2 (42:57):
Yeah, trust with your words, that's the problem, because it's me.

Speaker 4 (43:01):
I won't heal it.

Speaker 3 (43:02):
I think that that's why so many people do feel
the way they do and they can't tell anybody anything
because people don't know how to keep a secret anymore
before you can finish, it's already it's already snapped.

Speaker 4 (43:29):
That's why I said the other categories.

Speaker 3 (43:31):
So those are the safest, those are the safest. Like
you can you used to be able to pick up
the phone and you did not have to say, don't
tell anybody because you was raised not to tell anybody.

(43:52):
You was raised not to tell anybody what we share
in our household. This is our household. This is our household,
and it will be respected. So I don't know how
this day and age goes. But with that that that's

(44:19):
a rough one for me because you have to you
have to be able to trust and you definitely that
is the hardest thing that is out there. You can't
trust people. It doesn't matter how many years you've known them.

(44:44):
People have really showed their disloyalty card.

Speaker 2 (44:50):
See I say to me, I think, if you do good,
good come back to you. If you are here throwing
out bed, bigger come back to you.

Speaker 4 (44:59):
So that's their color.

Speaker 2 (45:00):
So that's why people need to start throwing out more
good things and more good things. But like I, by
hold the stuff, then when it's they turn somebody go
hold they stuff. So that's why I said, we have
to start doing more good thing because some people you
have to do what you will people do.

Speaker 4 (45:15):
You know what I'm saying, You have to do the
same thing that you will people do for you.

Speaker 3 (45:19):
But if a lot of people don't think like that,
because again, you can put out all the good and
when it comes your turn, what people do for you nothing.
That's how people.

Speaker 4 (45:32):
Are to keep you doing good.

Speaker 3 (45:35):
Keep doing good. That's the only thing you can I am.
Nobody can assist with me compromising my blessings. Nobody's that important. Nobody. No,
it's not that important.

Speaker 2 (45:53):
Yeah, no, I'm not a perfect person and I'm not.
But like I say, I'm a I'm a person to
the poor. Like I'm give you what you own. You
know what I'm saying, ain't gonna give you. I'm not
gonna mess energy period, I'm not gonna do that. I'm
just gonna go above her energy. You're gonna be shocked, like, well,
I ain't for the messal energy like that because they're
just like me as a person.

Speaker 3 (46:13):
But that's the but that's the that's the quickest, most
effective ways. Nowadays that people think that matching energy is
the best thing to do. Which matching energy is the
absolute wrong thing to do because again, like I said,

(46:36):
it brings about two wrongs. So again, when people say
I'm gonna match your energy some people's energy, I just
don't want to match some people energy. I don't even
want nobody to know I know, so I'm definitely not

(46:57):
gonna try to match it. So some people no not
matching the energy. Some people don't have the energy that
should be matched. So with that then said, we are
so appreciative of you tuning in to Crazy Conversations with

(47:18):
Miss Kim on Intellectual Radio dot com. We look forward
to seeing you guys next week for another exciting conversation. Again,
thank you so much for listening to Crazy Conversations with

(47:38):
Miss Kim. Good night friends, I see

Speaker 1 (47:45):
You baby, Get your shan on her