Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
All right, all right, remember Talking Cool.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Coming to key the host Will Smith Intellectual Radio dot com,
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stations in the nation, in the world, Talking Cool Real
fith back in action for your satisfaction.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
Man.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
I apologize.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
We've been on a little hiatus for a little while.
You know, we had blizzards going on up in the Midwest.
A lot of stuff. What's going on. But I'm back
in action for what we got going on for the Midwest. Uh,
the best in the Midwest, Talking Cool. You know, this
is a podcast for men mental health. Because men's mental health,
(00:53):
you know, it actually matters. And so you know, I
put together a podcast to show so that we can
focus on men's mental health. And the focus is on
all men, all men of all ages, men of all.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
Backgrounds.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Whether you are justice involved, maybe you maybe you silver spool,
maybe you grew up with a rich family, private schools,
don't matter.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
Men's mental health matters.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
You got a lot of money, you got a little money,
you already achieved, you're trying to achieve. We are helping
us elevate live longer and live stronger lives on Talking
Cool Radio.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
And so.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
You know. Usually I started off the show going a
little bit into you know, what's been going on, but
I decided for time sake that I'm just gonna get
right to the matter, right to the matter at hand.
And today's show is called did you say thank You?
I like this. I get excited. I was doing ninety
(02:01):
on the e way, Come in here, move, get out
the way, Ludacris was playing. I was ninety on the highway,
get out of my way, coming here to do this topic.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Did you say thank you?
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Oh yeah, it's that season, I mean November Thanksgiving.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
A lot was going on. It's an annual thing.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
But really, when you get down to the nitty gritty
brothers men, gentlemen, did you say thank you? Oh yeah,
you know, we get caught up in the tradition of
it all and night. I did a little research. Some
say that this Thanksgiving thing started somewhere around sixteen nineteen
(02:50):
when English settlers came in and when the ships docked
in the charter groups from London, they would take that
day to say thank you for a safe journey, thank
you to the Almighty Godess what it said, thank you
for allowing us to make it a safe passage from
(03:11):
from London, England to here to North America. They made
it some type of tradition and then some of the
more other traditions. But you know from my research says
that you know, the untrue stories got to do with
the Pilgrims and the Puritans and things like that, that
just became the folklore, folk lore of the situation, but
(03:35):
it generally started prior to but then it's still rooted
in some truths.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
When it comes to.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
How the Native Americans were here and how they helped
the settlers, the colonists come over, because they helped them
make it through their first winners. Because remember, they didn't
know how to cultivate the land, They didn't know when
the temperature was gonna change, and they didn't know how
to survive and where to get warmth from. And so
a different Native American groups, uh tribes helped them in
(04:10):
exchange for gifts and some protections from like their the
enemy tribes and things like that, and so but we
and we all know how that story ended up. It
got so good uh to uh to the colonists that
they shook their hands and stole their land. And that's
a whole another story for a whole nother day, but
we're gonna stick to the matter at hand of did
(04:30):
you say thank you? And and and and As I
talked about this, I do want to say thank you
to concept Outside of Ordinary Limits? COOL is sponsoring this
this show, this episode. UH. COOL is a therapeutic service
UH run by African American men, UH dealing with and
(04:52):
help specialize in men and and issues of all couples.
We do it all and so UH the model is
is helping people be better. And if you interested in
therapeutic service, insurances are accepted in person or virtual seven
zero eight four zero five nine five six nine COOL
(05:16):
Concepts Outside Ordinary Limits Therapeutic services Black owned therapists, male
therapist seven zero eight for zero five nine five six nine.
All right, did you say thank you though, you know,
amids the parades, amiss, the the ham the Turkey celebrations.
(05:41):
Did you say thank you in the midst of the
football games, in the midst of the basketball games.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Did you say thank you?
Speaker 2 (05:50):
You know, when the friends came over, when family came over,
whether you had to go to work or was off
today on that day, did you say thank you? You know?
With your traditional TV shows that come on, maybe there
was some church services, maybe it was meals on wheels,
maybe you went to help feed people.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Maybe you have your own thing that you do.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Did you say thank you? See, no matter what, the
research shows that the Thanksgiving Day celebration, no matter who says,
is from where, any country that does it, it's all
based on some type of thanks, some type of someone
(06:33):
saying thank you. So what it all said and done
and the moment it's passed, did you say thank you? Well?
Why are you doing a show on that? Why are
you even talking about that? I don't get it. How
does that apply to men's health? Well, you know what,
I'm glad that you asked. You know, saying thank you
(06:56):
for men is sometimes it's not an easy thing to do.
You know, men struggle with some things, and one of
those things is the emotions that a company saying thank you,
because when you say thank you, you don't think about it.
When you say thank you, it kind of means that
(07:18):
somebody helped you do something. That means that maybe there
was something that you didn't do yourself. And you know,
men have this concept of I'm a self made man.
Self made means did nobody help them? I got everything.
(07:41):
I got all by myself. I'm self made, but really,
in reality, who made themselves? There is nobody who's anybody
that didn't receive a help, a hand, a pull up,
a favor from somebody. And so it's impossible to be
(08:07):
self made. You had to get help from somebody. And
so this whole concept of how men are grown, raised
and reared to be self made independent can sometimes cause
some difficulties, some issues in just saying thank you so
(08:32):
brothers again, fellous gentlemen, men, did you say thank you so? Look?
I did a little research, and so there's this foundation,
the John Templeton Foundation. It says that women express gratitude
(08:57):
fifty rate of the time, as opposed to men, who
only express gratitude forty four percent of the time. Women
are more likely to say thank you to show gratitude
than men are. I wonder if that has anything to
do with how we raised, with the concepts that we
(09:20):
have as male and female. This study also suggests by
the John Templeton Foundation that women are more likely to
report feeling grateful to God, that the woman takes more
time to just thank God for whatever or the higher
(09:42):
power however you want to put it. They take more
time to think that God or the higher power.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Than men do. I wonder why that is. So I
took a look at what what is the meaning of
thank you?
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Like?
Speaker 1 (10:03):
What does it mean?
Speaker 2 (10:04):
So?
Speaker 1 (10:05):
Thank you? It's merely a polite expression.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
It's it's used to acknowledge a gift, the service, a compliment.
That's nothing new. We all know that. That's why we
say thank you. And we ain't saying that men never
say thank you. Let me so, don't, don't, don't call in, don't,
don't righte me, don't, don't don't boycott me because you
think that that he's up there saying that men never
(10:30):
say thank you. That's that's far from the truth. But
I'm saying, can we say it more? Can we lead
by example? And why let's get into it. This show
Men's Mental Health Matters. You know we did shows in
the past. You can you can follow me, you can subscribe.
(10:50):
Bounce Back Ability was a show. Men's Mental Health Matters
was a show dealing with death and grief was a show.
Prison Pimping was a show. So many things that we
have done talking.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
About how it relates to men.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
So I'm gonna hit you with this did you know
that when you say thank you? From a mental health standpoint,
it benefits the person saying thank you, sometimes more than
it benefits the person you said thank you too. Ah,
I'm gonna let that marinate. When you say thank you,
(11:35):
it can benefit you more than the person that you're
saying thank you to. Studies show that it increases your
own happiness. So did you say thank you? Were you
unhappy around this season? Take a look at how often
(12:00):
you said thank you? So it increases your own happiness.
It improves your cognitive functioning.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
That that's what it's.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
That's that's what the research shows. It creates a positive environment.
If you're looking up and all around your hell is
breaking loose, Always say you gotta ask yourself.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Am I the drama?
Speaker 2 (12:31):
Are you?
Speaker 1 (12:31):
The drama?
Speaker 2 (12:34):
Saying thank you creates a positive looping because the person
that you're saying thank you to rarely gets mad or
upset that you said thank you. In fact, they appreciate.
So now we got this loop of happiness going on.
Did you say thank you? It creates a positive environment.
(13:00):
It shifts the focus from yourself to somebody else, Like
you have to say thank you for something and you
notice that the person is like, oh, you're welcome you.
They weren't even expecting to get a thank you, but
it changed their whole demeanor, It changed their whole mindset
(13:24):
to what they were doing, and it made them appreciate
helping you out even more.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
And let me hit you with this.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
When you say thank you, the studies also show that
it increases people being willing to help you without you
even asking. The next time, I give you an example,
I was thinking about this, guys, this is one that
most of us can relate to. You ever hold the
(13:51):
door open for a female and she just walked straight
through the door like it was her birthright for you,
the whole the door open for her, she'd say thank you.
She didn't make an eye kind she didn't give your head,
not nothing. How did you make you feel?
Speaker 1 (14:08):
How did it make you feel?
Speaker 2 (14:13):
She didn't even say thank you? Ah, And I remember
a couple of times I had that happen. Don't let
it happen two times in a row on the same day,
two different people. That means every woman now is not
getting the door held from them for the rest of
the day.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
All because.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
A couple of people didn't say thank you. But not
what happens when when the person does say thank you.
It might be two doors in this in this to
walk into the establishment, the first door and then the
inner door. Hey, she say thank you, you run up
(14:54):
so you can open the inner door too, because she
actually said thank you. But if she don't say thank
you the first time, it ain't gonna no second time.
What thank you does? It creates this loop of a positivity,
this loop of appreciation, and this loop of selflessness where
(15:14):
people are willing to go the extra mile saying thank you.
Reduce to stress, It builds stronger relationships. All you did,
will say thank you. It creates the positive feedback and
again encourages giving man this simple thing that that brothers
(15:36):
have a little bit more of a difficult time doing.
Just saying thank you can be such a positive thing
in your life.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
So the question for this show is did you say
thank you?
Speaker 2 (15:56):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (15:56):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (15:57):
It seems so simple, it seems so minute, It seems
so small, it seems so little. But everybody who's lived
a little bit in this life knows the little things
mean a lot.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
Yeah, the little things to what mean a lot?
Speaker 2 (16:16):
You know?
Speaker 1 (16:16):
I do a lot of couples.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
Therapy and the couples. They usually not arguing over the
big stuff. They're not arguing over the house, the mortgage.
They're not arguing over you know, a lot of times
they're not arguing over what church they gonna go to.
They arguing over like little stuff. You know, how to
(16:40):
rearrange the bedroom, what color they gonna paint the walls,
what type of car be going by the last time
we bought the cottage you wanted, This time I should
get the baby. May be arguing over things that are
smaller the big things. They work that out. They figure
those things out because the little things mean a lot.
(17:03):
And if you are struggling to elevate, if you're struggling
to achieve your goals, act yourself. Did you say thank you?
M m mm hmmm, And as you gathered around your friends,
and as you gathered around your families and the loved
(17:25):
ones and the and and even the not so loved ones.
Because because not all families get along, not all families vibe.
But if you take the lead, help the family to
say thank you, it helps the family not be one
of those families that only gets.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
Together at the grave site. It takes.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
It helps the family to not only uh to not
be one of those families that only get together at
the funeral home. Let's work on the family just saying
thank you, because the little things mean a lot. The
studies show y'all. The study show that most Americans say
(18:12):
thank you over two thousand, two hundred times per year.
That's a lot.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
I mean, it sound like a lot to me.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
Most Americans says they say thank you twenty two hundred
times a year. That's averaging about averaging about six times
a day.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
Did you.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
Say thank you? What's the aura? What's the spirit? What's
the vibe you putting into the atmosphere? Did you say
thank you? Studies also show that most people are more
willing to tell family members thank you than they are
(19:00):
from people who not in their families.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
Now and I thought this was odd.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
You mean to tell me that most people are willing
to tell their family thank you as opposed to like
a casual friend, acquaintance or somebody like that. But my
family that I thought those would be the ones wouldn't
say thank you.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
I mean, I expect my.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
Brother to be there to help me move, you know,
I expect my sister to come and pick me up
with my car. Break down some of these things. I
just it kind of come with the territory. That's what
we do, and that what family do. I guess that's
a good thing that we don't take our family for
granted and we tell people thank you, that's enough.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
Family. But what about the people who were not related
to you know?
Speaker 2 (19:51):
What about the person that just opens the door for you?
What about the person that let that let you in?
Driving in traffic and it's busy, maybe you just came
from a concert or something, and the parking lot is
packed and somebody said, hey, you can go. I'm gonna
go behind you. You know, do we do we flash
our lights? Do we wave at them? Do we say
(20:12):
thank you for letting me in? Let me go?
Speaker 1 (20:17):
Now?
Speaker 2 (20:17):
Study show we usually don't do nothing for those people.
We just keep it moving. Did you say thank you?
Make sure you say thank you again. It increases the
(20:37):
opportunities for others to want to help you out. You
don't have to ask because they know you don't take
them for granted and you appreciate what they're doing. So
this season right here is is this this holiday season,
this Thanksgiving, this Christmas. You know, in the mental health field,
(20:57):
we usually see and uptick in mental health, people calling
to set up counseling, needing a moment to talk to
somebody about things.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
Because what keeps people from saying thank you?
Speaker 2 (21:13):
It's a lot of things.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
It's just not a.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
Willingness behavior that people say thank you. Life be lifeing sometimes.
And so when you think about some of the things
that cause a road block in our thankfulness or ability
to say thank you. You know, we can have a
lost loved one. You know, when you start losing family members.
(21:38):
I got several fears. This is their first season without
their loved one, without their mom, without their granddad, without
their dad, you know, without their sibling, without their sister,
their brother. Man, that can block your willingness, your ability
at this time to say thank you. Lost jobs, you know,
we you know, people were losing jobs left and right,
(22:00):
sure enough to work, and they were being told that
your job don't exist no more. Maybe you got health concerns, man,
trying to figure out how to make it. I got
another appointment at the doctor, got another procedure at the doctor,
got another let's wait and see what the test results.
Moment is man, these are all things that can cause
(22:21):
us to not be the thankful people that we should.
How can I be thinking other people when I'm worried
about my tomorrow. I'm in a zone. I appreciate what
they did, but I didn't say thank you because I'm
just in his zone, my mind and so on, trying
to figure out how I'm gonna make it through tomorrow,
make it to today. All right. Maybe we got strained relationships.
(22:46):
Maybe you get you done, broke up, you know, maybe
maybe maybe you don't. Maybe maybe a girl broke up
with you. Maybe you broke up with your girl, and
now you are alone. You didn't want to buy no
Christmas gift, you know, you didn't want to go over
there and hang out with her family.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
So you try to break up with her right.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
Before the holidays, you know, try to get back with
her at the New Year. And now you're sitting there alone,
and you don't feel like saying thank you to nobody
because you're feeling guilty a little bit. You feel the
attle bad.
Speaker 3 (23:21):
You know.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Maybe you're watching the news too much.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
Maybe you're taking in too much negative energy. You know,
it's so much positive stuff going on, even in what
we call the worst.
Speaker 1 (23:32):
Communities, but the news don't do that.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
You know, you turn on the news at six o'clock
in the morning, the first five to ten minutes is
who got ran over, who got in a car accident,
who got shot, who got ribbed, just random people, who
was in the house fire, just random stuff that's really
not news because that type of stuff happens all that.
Who got car jacked, you know, they're not talking about
whose life was saved. They're not talking about who sponsored,
(24:00):
you know, a college fund and send somebody to school.
They're not talking about the young man or the young
woman who graduated from law school, graduated from the doctoral program,
and now they got a PhD. They're not talking about
the inventions in the community. They're not talking about the
people who help the family that was down and out,
or help the retired senior who needed his snow shoveled,
(24:21):
needed his car fixed. All that type of stuff goes
on in the community so much positive. Maybe you're taking
in too much negativity and you don't feel it's a
reason to be thankful, or maybe you just disappointed in
your own life aspect. You kind of don't not like
where you're at right now. I thought I would have
more money, I thought I would be married by now,
I thought I would be further along in my career.
(24:43):
These are kind of like some of the things that
affect you being able to say thank you, or maybe
you unable to.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
Put the food on the table. Brothers.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
You know that's big man. We the providers, and so
some of the things locking your thankfulness is that, man,
you aren't able to provide what you wanted to provide
for the family, what you were looking to provide for
the family. So you have a struggle with saying thank you.
But it's not how much you provide, you know. I
(25:18):
just take you back to what Tupac said when a
song did Mama. He said, just working with the scraps
you were giving Mama made miracles every Thanksgiving, as classic
lyrics right there, she just working with the scraps she
was giving. Mama made miracles every Thanksgiving. Man, It ain't
(25:41):
about how much you provide. Whatever you can provide, man, thankfulness,
miracles happen every day. Past troubles, past trauma, past disagreements
all caused you issues. Was just saying thank you. And
that's what we're talking about today.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
Did you.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
Say thank you? This will Smith, this is talking cool again,
This is intellectual radio dot com and men like us
love us, subscribe talking cools for you. So many things
(26:21):
trying to pull away from gratitude. They even came up
with this term, y'all. I was looking up some stuff.
It's called toxic gratitude. Toxic gratitude, like having gratitude can
be toxic. Woo.
Speaker 1 (26:40):
I ain't making this stuff up.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
So toxic gratitude means like you feel like saying thank
you or showing some type of gratitude. You feel like
it's forced, it's hollow, and it's guilt driven, Like like
I really don't want to do it, I feel pressured
to do it. Everybody expected me to do it. A
classic example of toxic gratitude is like tipping.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
Some people just.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
Don't believe in tipping, but when they go out with
people and they sitting around at the table, they feel
forced to tip, which is a form of gratitude for
your service. So toxic gratitude means that I'm tipping not
because I want to, not because I agree with the
whole premise of tipping, but because you know, they gonna
(27:33):
make me feel guilty, they gonna pressure me, They gonna
toxic gratitude.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
So like toxic. Another example toxic gratitude.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
Remember when you was coming up and Mama made you
say thank you to your siblings for helping you clean
up your room. Well, Mama, they the ones who made
my room dirty. Anyway, say thank you to your brother
and your sister. So, now, as I think back in retrospect,
Mama was causing me to be toxic because my siblings.
(28:07):
The one that my brother's sister messed up the room,
that one came in and started messing with my stuff.
But uh, you know, I know my mam would be
listening to the show, but I was just those are
just jokes, Mama. It's not toxic, you know. You know
I'm just playing.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
But toxic gratitude.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
They even have a saying for gratitude being toxic. But
we're not gonna get caught up in people making something.
Speaker 1 (28:31):
Like that negative because it just is what it is.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
If you don't want to pay a tip, don't pay
the tip, pay the bill, don't pay the tip, don't
feel guilty, don't pay the tip, don't pay the tip,
however you feel.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
But that's one thing.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
So back to our regular schedule program.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
Did you.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
Say thank you? So?
Speaker 1 (28:55):
Man?
Speaker 2 (28:55):
What I want to do is I'm gonna I'm gonna
help I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna help you because
this is what we do. This is what I do,
is what I've been doing this for like ever, and
so sometimes you got to help people with what they
can't do. Like if you ain't ever really took a
thought into saying thank you, or you don't say thank you,
it might be kind of hard to say thank you.
(29:18):
And so let's do this. Let's start a mental thanks
type of thing. Take a moment to think of somebody
who has done something for you, somebody who has done
something kind for you, somebody who has done anything for you,
somebody who did something that they didn't necessarily have to do,
and give them a mental thanks.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
Take five seconds right.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
Now to think about it and give them a mental thanks,
bare a mental thanks. Now we want to go a
(30:02):
little bit deeper. You can even keep a gratitude journal.
Ah man, this is this is this is this is
this is this is getting deep right here. See, a
gratitude journal allows you, at the end of the day
or during the day, to recap everything that has happened
to you so far this day that you're thankful for.
(30:24):
Or at the end of the day you just recap
from morning a sun up to some down what what?
Speaker 3 (30:30):
What?
Speaker 2 (30:31):
What?
Speaker 1 (30:31):
Am I thankful for?
Speaker 2 (30:32):
Am thankful for a peaceful night the house wasn't on fire.
Am I thankful for the breakfast that I was able
to eat? Am I thankful for my car started? And
I'm thankful for, you know, the job that I have,
even though if if, even if I got a great job,
if I'm thankful for that, if it's not so great,
am I still just thankful for a means to support myself?
Am I thankful for my coworkers? And I'm thankful for
(30:53):
somebody who helped me complete the job at work or
gave me some advice on how to better handle man.
A gratitude journal allows you to sit back and say, man,
I got a lot of reasons and a lot of
people who have poured into me today alone that I
(31:13):
should be thankful for and to do this type of stuff.
So when you do this type of stuff, it's called
being intentional, and so being intentional with your interactions to
thank people for small things. Man, you got to be intentional,
you know, to make that money, to achieve your goals,
to get that education, to kick that habit to make
(31:36):
the relationship work. Man, It don't just happen. Man, You
got to be intentional about this stuff. So can you
intentionally go through the day and say, man, I am
going to think at least six to eight people for
like small stuff. When you at CBS and she hands
you your back or he hands you your back, thank you.
Speaker 1 (31:59):
Brother. Man, you have a good day.
Speaker 2 (32:02):
Man?
Speaker 1 (32:02):
Is that that is that difficult to do?
Speaker 2 (32:04):
When you get your sandwich fixed at sub way, I
may appreciate it, man, thanks for fixing the sandwich.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
I mean, y'all take care of it here.
Speaker 2 (32:12):
Man. Can you find six reasons in any given day
to say thank you? Thank you baby, thank you for
fixing my plate. Man, I appreciate you so much, baby,
Thank you. Man, be intentional about it. Put some positive
energy into the atmosphere, because the study show when you
(32:33):
put it out, it comes right back. Thank you. H
Did you say thank you?
Speaker 1 (32:43):
That's what this show is. I like this.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
Little things mean a lot, all right? What separates the
successful from the not successful? What success? What separates the
doers from the haters? Small things? Did you say thank you?
(33:08):
You know it's this dude, meister Eckerhart has this famous
quote you know that I thought was interesting. He said,
if the only prayer you ever say in your life
is thank you, he said, it will be enough if
you just thank God for everything that He's done for you.
(33:30):
Meister Eckerhart said, man, that's more than most and that's
he said, that's what praise is all about. If you
say thank you to God for everything that He's done
for you in your life. If that's all your prayer,
said miser Echerhart says, man, you're doing right, m So
(33:58):
thank You's power for y'all. Thank you with spirituals. Thank
you as uplifting, thank you. It's selfless, self less, thankful
as a way of you giving and pouring into other people.
Did you say thank you? Uh?
Speaker 1 (34:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:18):
Don't let this holiday go past, don't let these days
go pass, don't let these moments go past.
Speaker 1 (34:27):
Don't let your life go past.
Speaker 2 (34:30):
Don't let the people who come into your world, into
your circle, into your spirit. Don't let them go pass
without you ever saying thank you. Man. One of my
favorite TV shows back in the day, The Golden Girls.
It's the song starts off it says, thank you for
being a friend. Travel down the road and back again. Ah,
(34:57):
your heart is true. You a pal and confidant. Ah, Man,
that's a lot. Just thank you for being a friend.
Thank you for being my boy man, thank you for
hanging out with man, thank you for being brothers. Can
you find reasons to say thank you?
Speaker 1 (35:20):
I think we can. I think we can can.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
Little things like this help to build a community, helps
to mentor to the younger brother that you that that's
in your life, leading by example of humility, selflessness. Just
saying thank you. M you let your girl know when
she didn't cook. How about making sure you think of
(35:46):
thank her when she do cook. She might cook a
little bit more. Mm hmm, I think I just said something.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
Did you.
Speaker 2 (35:57):
Say thank you? Did you think your mom? Did you
think your dad? Your siblings think your kids? Hey, it's
it's not sack religious. You know the house won't burn
down if you tell Jr. Hey, thanks for taking out
the garbage. We know that's what he's supposed to do.
(36:18):
We know that's his task, we know that's part of
his chores. But would it hurts they say, Hey, thanks sir, Hey,
thanks for shoveling the store. Good job. Mhmah. But daddy
don't me thank you. Supposed to get home.
Speaker 1 (36:46):
And your clothes are folded.
Speaker 2 (36:48):
Maybe baby girl decided to fall her daddy clothes he
said thank you. Maybe the mississ got tired of seeing
the clothes all over the place. All right, let me
fold this food cold clothes for m Maybe the house
is clean, mm hmm. Maybe she just still with you
(37:10):
after all these years and you've been acting a fool
and she ain't left you yet. You better say thank
you because you know you are hard to deal with.
Did you say thank you? Ah? Did you say thank
you this morning to the to the to the God
that you you worship for praise and if you don't
worship and praise God, or whatever your high your power is,
(37:32):
if your higher your power, it's the Chicago Bears. Did
you say thank you to the bears? If your high
your power is to the sun, say thank you to
the sun. If it's to the to the rain, say
thank you to the rain.
Speaker 1 (37:44):
Whatever your high your power is, to.
Speaker 2 (37:49):
That you say thank you because you didn't make yourself. Oh,
just kicking a little knowledge, kicking the perspective. I'm giving
you a thought, and I ain't saying my thought is wrong.
I'm not saying my thought is right. I'm just saying
these are my thoughts and they based on fact reality.
Speaker 1 (38:14):
Don't live a life void of.
Speaker 2 (38:15):
Expressing your thanks. Being thankful twenty four seven, three hundred
and sixty five days a year will make you a
better person.
Speaker 1 (38:30):
I'm just here to tell you this. Try Try, try, try.
Speaker 2 (38:35):
Being thankful, telling people thank you, Try being selfless, making
sure people know you appreciate your and gratitude. Try doing
that for the next twenty years, every day to the max.
Speaker 1 (38:48):
And if it don't work.
Speaker 2 (38:50):
Come back and let me know how the will you
tripping twenty years? Okay, and we'll about the stump into
twenty six. I give you the February of twenty twenty six.
Be intentional about it, letting people know you you're thankful
for what they do to you, done for you, doing
(39:14):
with you. Do your your gratitude journal. See if you
can tell at least six to ten people every day
thank you for the little things. Even if it's the
same thing that you thank them for yesterday, that don't
mean they had to do it tomorrow or the day
after or the day after. Twenty four to seven, three
(39:41):
sixty five makes you a better person.
Speaker 1 (39:47):
Makes you a better business whatever your business.
Speaker 2 (39:51):
Is, entrepreneur, whether you work for a corporation, whether you're CEO,
whether you're a judge, whether you're an attorney, whether you
are a working in a factory, whether you're whether you're electrician, caper,
whether the way you drive the bus where you'll see
got your CDL trucks, whatever you do, whatever you do,
I'm here to tell you that if you think the
(40:14):
people that cross your path, that come your way, whatever
you do, your business, your livelihood, your profession will be
enhanced because of the spirit of gratitude you're putting in
the atmosphere. Oh ah, trust me from lying. I'm crying
(40:41):
and I ain't got no tears in my eyes right now.
Having an attitude of gratitude not only will make you
a better person, not only make you a better business man,
make you a better spouse. It make you a better father.
(41:06):
It'll make you a better son, It'll make you a
better brother man, It'll make you a better friend. An
attitude of gratitude positivity allowing people who are in your world,
(41:32):
in your environment, in your circle, to know you appreciate it. Man,
I appreciate you every time I come to the office.
You're the first person I see at the front desk,
and you are always smiling. And it's times I don't
feel like being here, I don't want it, but every
time I walk in, you happy, and I appreciate that. Man,
Thank you for your spirit. You know. I used to
work overnight at Saint Bernard Hospital in a psych unit,
(41:55):
in a triage unit, and I had multiple jobs, and
so this was like my second job. And it was
from eleven to seven, eleven to seven, and I dreaded
going there, but I needed the money and so but
every time the shift, it was one of my coworkers.
Her name was Brenda. Brenda was a night owl. She
(42:17):
wanted to work at night. She didn't work in a
day time. She did her little nick knack running like
she knew every food spot open in the Inglewood area.
She knew she was getting a car washed. I'm like,
where you going at midnight to wash your car? She
knew every place. She would go, Hey, y'all, what y'all
want to eat tonight? What do you want?
Speaker 1 (42:34):
Ain't everyplace clothes?
Speaker 2 (42:35):
Nah? Brenda loved the overnight shift, and because she loved it,
it made it.
Speaker 1 (42:44):
It increased my it helped me like it.
Speaker 2 (42:47):
I love it, but it helped me like it because
Brenda were bouncing that office, full of life, full of
spirit and full of zeal and. I remember I had
to tell a girl thank you, but because because your
energy it's contagious, I don't be willing to be here,
but she come in so happy to be there. Man,
thanks somebody for just having a contagious energy that helps
(43:09):
you get by for the day. Ah, you're contagious, you know,
And that's that's you're contagious. Somebody is contagious doing some
positive stuff in your life. Go ahead and tell them
thank you the little things that mean a lot. Yeah,
this is this is Will Smith on Talking Cool We
(43:30):
on Intellectual Radio that the topic is intellectual radio dot com.
Speaker 1 (43:34):
Did you say thank you?
Speaker 2 (43:37):
So if as as as I'm getting ready, if being
having an attitude of gratitude of saying thank you, it
makes you a better person, If it makes you a
better business man, if it makes you a better spouse,
makes your better father, makes you a better son, a brother,
a friend, then what this show is all about is
this saying thank you makes you a better man? And
(44:04):
ain't that what we all striving to be the best
man that I can be. I think it's a song
about that again. This is Will Smith Intellectual radio dot Com.
The show is entitled Talking Cool all Right And as
I close, I'm gonna leave you with what I always
(44:27):
leave you with, the quote by W. E. B. The Boys,
There's no stronger force known to the world than a
man determined to rise. And we a out of here today.
I see y'all next week. Intellectual radio dot Com.
Speaker 1 (44:47):
This is Will Smith.
Speaker 2 (44:48):
Talking Cool Like me, love me, subscribe.
Speaker 1 (44:53):
To me, Roll with us Sun straight from again.
Speaker 3 (44:58):
Win we win the number never said stopped out? Win
did remember they on the list? Now they gotta pay
of chess. John's on a miss.
Speaker 1 (45:08):
We win and we win and we win. We win it,
we win, We win, and we went
All right, all right, remember Talking Cool.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Coming to key the host Will Smith Intellectual Radio dot com,
the biggest, the baddest, the largest like on radio podcast
stations in the nation, in the world, Talking Cool Real
fith back in action for your satisfaction.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
Man.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
I apologize.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
We've been on a little hiatus for a little while.
You know, we had blizzards going on up in the Midwest.
A lot of stuff. What's going on. But I'm back
in action for what we got going on for the Midwest. Uh,
the best in the Midwest, Talking Cool. You know, this
is a podcast for men mental health. Because men's mental health,
(00:53):
you know, it actually matters. And so you know, I
put together a podcast to show so that we can
focus on men's mental health. And the focus is on
all men, all men of all ages, men of all.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
Backgrounds.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Whether you are justice involved, maybe you maybe you silver spool,
maybe you grew up with a rich family, private schools,
don't matter.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
Men's mental health matters.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
You got a lot of money, you got a little money,
you already achieved, you're trying to achieve. We are helping
us elevate live longer and live stronger lives on Talking
Cool Radio.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
And so.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
You know. Usually I started off the show going a
little bit into you know, what's been going on, but
I decided for time sake that I'm just gonna get
right to the matter, right to the matter at hand.
And today's show is called did you say thank You?
I like this. I get excited. I was doing ninety
(02:01):
on the e way, Come in here, move, get out
the way, Ludacris was playing. I was ninety on the highway,
get out of my way, coming here to do this topic.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Did you say thank you?
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Oh yeah, it's that season, I mean November Thanksgiving.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
A lot was going on. It's an annual thing.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
But really, when you get down to the nitty gritty
brothers men, gentlemen, did you say thank you? Oh yeah,
you know, we get caught up in the tradition of
it all and night. I did a little research. Some
say that this Thanksgiving thing started somewhere around sixteen nineteen
(02:50):
when English settlers came in and when the ships docked
in the charter groups from London, they would take that
day to say thank you for a safe journey, thank
you to the Almighty Godess what it said, thank you
for allowing us to make it a safe passage from
(03:11):
from London, England to here to North America. They made
it some type of tradition and then some of the
more other traditions. But you know from my research says
that you know, the untrue stories got to do with
the Pilgrims and the Puritans and things like that, that
just became the folklore, folk lore of the situation, but
(03:35):
it generally started prior to but then it's still rooted
in some truths.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
When it comes to.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
How the Native Americans were here and how they helped
the settlers, the colonists come over, because they helped them
make it through their first winners. Because remember, they didn't
know how to cultivate the land, They didn't know when
the temperature was gonna change, and they didn't know how
to survive and where to get warmth from. And so
a different Native American groups, uh tribes helped them in
(04:10):
exchange for gifts and some protections from like their the
enemy tribes and things like that, and so but we
and we all know how that story ended up. It
got so good uh to uh to the colonists that
they shook their hands and stole their land. And that's
a whole another story for a whole nother day, but
we're gonna stick to the matter at hand of did
(04:30):
you say thank you? And and and and As I
talked about this, I do want to say thank you
to concept Outside of Ordinary Limits? COOL is sponsoring this
this show, this episode. UH. COOL is a therapeutic service
UH run by African American men, UH dealing with and
(04:52):
help specialize in men and and issues of all couples.
We do it all and so UH the model is
is helping people be better. And if you interested in
therapeutic service, insurances are accepted in person or virtual seven
zero eight four zero five nine five six nine COOL
(05:16):
Concepts Outside Ordinary Limits Therapeutic services Black owned therapists, male
therapist seven zero eight for zero five nine five six nine.
All right, did you say thank you though, you know,
amids the parades, amiss, the the ham the Turkey celebrations.
(05:41):
Did you say thank you in the midst of the
football games, in the midst of the basketball games.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Did you say thank you?
Speaker 2 (05:50):
You know, when the friends came over, when family came over,
whether you had to go to work or was off
today on that day, did you say thank you? You know?
With your traditional TV shows that come on, maybe there
was some church services, maybe it was meals on wheels,
maybe you went to help feed people.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Maybe you have your own thing that you do.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Did you say thank you? See, no matter what, the
research shows that the Thanksgiving Day celebration, no matter who says,
is from where, any country that does it, it's all
based on some type of thanks, some type of someone
(06:33):
saying thank you. So what it all said and done
and the moment it's passed, did you say thank you? Well?
Why are you doing a show on that? Why are
you even talking about that? I don't get it. How
does that apply to men's health? Well, you know what,
I'm glad that you asked. You know, saying thank you
(06:56):
for men is sometimes it's not an easy thing to do.
You know, men struggle with some things, and one of
those things is the emotions that a company saying thank you,
because when you say thank you, you don't think about it.
When you say thank you, it kind of means that
(07:18):
somebody helped you do something. That means that maybe there
was something that you didn't do yourself. And you know,
men have this concept of I'm a self made man.
Self made means did nobody help them? I got everything.
(07:41):
I got all by myself. I'm self made, but really,
in reality, who made themselves? There is nobody who's anybody
that didn't receive a help, a hand, a pull up,
a favor from somebody. And so it's impossible to be
(08:07):
self made. You had to get help from somebody. And
so this whole concept of how men are grown, raised
and reared to be self made independent can sometimes cause
some difficulties, some issues in just saying thank you so
(08:32):
brothers again, fellous gentlemen, men, did you say thank you so? Look?
I did a little research, and so there's this foundation,
the John Templeton Foundation. It says that women express gratitude
(08:57):
fifty rate of the time, as opposed to men, who
only express gratitude forty four percent of the time. Women
are more likely to say thank you to show gratitude
than men are. I wonder if that has anything to
do with how we raised, with the concepts that we
(09:20):
have as male and female. This study also suggests by
the John Templeton Foundation that women are more likely to
report feeling grateful to God, that the woman takes more
time to just thank God for whatever or the higher
(09:42):
power however you want to put it. They take more
time to think that God or the higher power.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Than men do. I wonder why that is. So I
took a look at what what is the meaning of
thank you?
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Like?
Speaker 1 (10:03):
What does it mean?
Speaker 2 (10:04):
So?
Speaker 1 (10:05):
Thank you? It's merely a polite expression.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
It's it's used to acknowledge a gift, the service, a compliment.
That's nothing new. We all know that. That's why we
say thank you. And we ain't saying that men never
say thank you. Let me so, don't, don't, don't call in, don't,
don't righte me, don't, don't don't boycott me because you
think that that he's up there saying that men never
(10:30):
say thank you. That's that's far from the truth. But
I'm saying, can we say it more? Can we lead
by example? And why let's get into it. This show
Men's Mental Health Matters. You know we did shows in
the past. You can you can follow me, you can subscribe.
(10:50):
Bounce Back Ability was a show. Men's Mental Health Matters
was a show dealing with death and grief was a show.
Prison Pimping was a show. So many things that we
have done talking.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
About how it relates to men.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
So I'm gonna hit you with this did you know
that when you say thank you? From a mental health standpoint,
it benefits the person saying thank you, sometimes more than
it benefits the person you said thank you too. Ah,
I'm gonna let that marinate. When you say thank you,
(11:35):
it can benefit you more than the person that you're
saying thank you to. Studies show that it increases your
own happiness. So did you say thank you? Were you
unhappy around this season? Take a look at how often
(12:00):
you said thank you? So it increases your own happiness.
It improves your cognitive functioning.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
That that's what it's.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
That's that's what the research shows. It creates a positive environment.
If you're looking up and all around your hell is
breaking loose, Always say you gotta ask yourself.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Am I the drama?
Speaker 2 (12:31):
Are you?
Speaker 1 (12:31):
The drama?
Speaker 2 (12:34):
Saying thank you creates a positive looping because the person
that you're saying thank you to rarely gets mad or
upset that you said thank you. In fact, they appreciate.
So now we got this loop of happiness going on.
Did you say thank you? It creates a positive environment.
(13:00):
It shifts the focus from yourself to somebody else, Like
you have to say thank you for something and you
notice that the person is like, oh, you're welcome you.
They weren't even expecting to get a thank you, but
it changed their whole demeanor, It changed their whole mindset
(13:24):
to what they were doing, and it made them appreciate
helping you out even more.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
And let me hit you with this.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
When you say thank you, the studies also show that
it increases people being willing to help you without you
even asking. The next time, I give you an example,
I was thinking about this, guys, this is one that
most of us can relate to. You ever hold the
(13:51):
door open for a female and she just walked straight
through the door like it was her birthright for you,
the whole the door open for her, she'd say thank you.
She didn't make an eye kind she didn't give your head,
not nothing. How did you make you feel?
Speaker 1 (14:08):
How did it make you feel?
Speaker 2 (14:13):
She didn't even say thank you? Ah, And I remember
a couple of times I had that happen. Don't let
it happen two times in a row on the same day,
two different people. That means every woman now is not
getting the door held from them for the rest of
the day.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
All because.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
A couple of people didn't say thank you. But not
what happens when when the person does say thank you.
It might be two doors in this in this to
walk into the establishment, the first door and then the
inner door. Hey, she say thank you, you run up
(14:54):
so you can open the inner door too, because she
actually said thank you. But if she don't say thank
you the first time, it ain't gonna no second time.
What thank you does? It creates this loop of a positivity,
this loop of appreciation, and this loop of selflessness where
(15:14):
people are willing to go the extra mile saying thank you.
Reduce to stress, It builds stronger relationships. All you did,
will say thank you. It creates the positive feedback and
again encourages giving man this simple thing that that brothers
(15:36):
have a little bit more of a difficult time doing.
Just saying thank you can be such a positive thing
in your life.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
So the question for this show is did you say
thank you?
Speaker 2 (15:56):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (15:56):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (15:57):
It seems so simple, it seems so minute, It seems
so small, it seems so little. But everybody who's lived
a little bit in this life knows the little things
mean a lot.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
Yeah, the little things to what mean a lot?
Speaker 2 (16:16):
You know?
Speaker 1 (16:16):
I do a lot of couples.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
Therapy and the couples. They usually not arguing over the
big stuff. They're not arguing over the house, the mortgage.
They're not arguing over you know, a lot of times
they're not arguing over what church they gonna go to.
They arguing over like little stuff. You know, how to
(16:40):
rearrange the bedroom, what color they gonna paint the walls,
what type of car be going by the last time
we bought the cottage you wanted, This time I should
get the baby. May be arguing over things that are
smaller the big things. They work that out. They figure
those things out because the little things mean a lot.
(17:03):
And if you are struggling to elevate, if you're struggling
to achieve your goals, act yourself. Did you say thank you?
M m mm hmmm, And as you gathered around your friends,
and as you gathered around your families and the loved
(17:25):
ones and the and and even the not so loved ones.
Because because not all families get along, not all families vibe.
But if you take the lead, help the family to
say thank you, it helps the family not be one
of those families that only gets.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
Together at the grave site. It takes.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
It helps the family to not only uh to not
be one of those families that only get together at
the funeral home. Let's work on the family just saying
thank you, because the little things mean a lot. The
studies show y'all. The study show that most Americans say
(18:12):
thank you over two thousand, two hundred times per year.
That's a lot.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
I mean, it sound like a lot to me.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
Most Americans says they say thank you twenty two hundred
times a year. That's averaging about averaging about six times
a day.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
Did you.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
Say thank you? What's the aura? What's the spirit? What's
the vibe you putting into the atmosphere? Did you say
thank you? Studies also show that most people are more
willing to tell family members thank you than they are
(19:00):
from people who not in their families.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
Now and I thought this was odd.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
You mean to tell me that most people are willing
to tell their family thank you as opposed to like
a casual friend, acquaintance or somebody like that. But my
family that I thought those would be the ones wouldn't
say thank you.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
I mean, I expect my.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
Brother to be there to help me move, you know,
I expect my sister to come and pick me up
with my car. Break down some of these things. I
just it kind of come with the territory. That's what
we do, and that what family do. I guess that's
a good thing that we don't take our family for
granted and we tell people thank you, that's enough.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
Family. But what about the people who were not related
to you know?
Speaker 2 (19:51):
What about the person that just opens the door for you?
What about the person that let that let you in?
Driving in traffic and it's busy, maybe you just came
from a concert or something, and the parking lot is
packed and somebody said, hey, you can go. I'm gonna
go behind you. You know, do we do we flash
our lights? Do we wave at them? Do we say
(20:12):
thank you for letting me in? Let me go?
Speaker 1 (20:17):
Now?
Speaker 2 (20:17):
Study show we usually don't do nothing for those people.
We just keep it moving. Did you say thank you?
Make sure you say thank you again. It increases the
(20:37):
opportunities for others to want to help you out. You
don't have to ask because they know you don't take
them for granted and you appreciate what they're doing. So
this season right here is is this this holiday season,
this Thanksgiving, this Christmas. You know, in the mental health field,
(20:57):
we usually see and uptick in mental health, people calling
to set up counseling, needing a moment to talk to
somebody about things.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
Because what keeps people from saying thank you?
Speaker 2 (21:13):
It's a lot of things.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
It's just not a.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
Willingness behavior that people say thank you. Life be lifeing sometimes.
And so when you think about some of the things
that cause a road block in our thankfulness or ability
to say thank you. You know, we can have a
lost loved one. You know, when you start losing family members.
(21:38):
I got several fears. This is their first season without
their loved one, without their mom, without their granddad, without
their dad, you know, without their sibling, without their sister,
their brother. Man, that can block your willingness, your ability
at this time to say thank you. Lost jobs, you know,
we you know, people were losing jobs left and right,
(22:00):
sure enough to work, and they were being told that
your job don't exist no more. Maybe you got health concerns, man,
trying to figure out how to make it. I got
another appointment at the doctor, got another procedure at the doctor,
got another let's wait and see what the test results.
Moment is man, these are all things that can cause
(22:21):
us to not be the thankful people that we should.
How can I be thinking other people when I'm worried
about my tomorrow. I'm in a zone. I appreciate what
they did, but I didn't say thank you because I'm
just in his zone, my mind and so on, trying
to figure out how I'm gonna make it through tomorrow,
make it to today. All right. Maybe we got strained relationships.
(22:46):
Maybe you get you done, broke up, you know, maybe
maybe maybe you don't. Maybe maybe a girl broke up
with you. Maybe you broke up with your girl, and
now you are alone. You didn't want to buy no
Christmas gift, you know, you didn't want to go over
there and hang out with her family.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
So you try to break up with her right.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
Before the holidays, you know, try to get back with
her at the New Year. And now you're sitting there alone,
and you don't feel like saying thank you to nobody
because you're feeling guilty a little bit. You feel the
attle bad.
Speaker 3 (23:21):
You know.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Maybe you're watching the news too much.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
Maybe you're taking in too much negative energy. You know,
it's so much positive stuff going on, even in what
we call the worst.
Speaker 1 (23:32):
Communities, but the news don't do that.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
You know, you turn on the news at six o'clock
in the morning, the first five to ten minutes is
who got ran over, who got in a car accident,
who got shot, who got ribbed, just random people, who
was in the house fire, just random stuff that's really
not news because that type of stuff happens all that.
Who got car jacked, you know, they're not talking about
whose life was saved. They're not talking about who sponsored,
(24:00):
you know, a college fund and send somebody to school.
They're not talking about the young man or the young
woman who graduated from law school, graduated from the doctoral program,
and now they got a PhD. They're not talking about
the inventions in the community. They're not talking about the
people who help the family that was down and out,
or help the retired senior who needed his snow shoveled,
(24:21):
needed his car fixed. All that type of stuff goes
on in the community so much positive. Maybe you're taking
in too much negativity and you don't feel it's a
reason to be thankful, or maybe you just disappointed in
your own life aspect. You kind of don't not like
where you're at right now. I thought I would have
more money, I thought I would be married by now,
I thought I would be further along in my career.
(24:43):
These are kind of like some of the things that
affect you being able to say thank you, or maybe
you unable to.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
Put the food on the table. Brothers.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
You know that's big man. We the providers, and so
some of the things locking your thankfulness is that, man,
you aren't able to provide what you wanted to provide
for the family, what you were looking to provide for
the family. So you have a struggle with saying thank you.
But it's not how much you provide, you know. I
(25:18):
just take you back to what Tupac said when a
song did Mama. He said, just working with the scraps
you were giving Mama made miracles every Thanksgiving, as classic
lyrics right there, she just working with the scraps she
was giving. Mama made miracles every Thanksgiving. Man, It ain't
(25:41):
about how much you provide. Whatever you can provide, man, thankfulness,
miracles happen every day. Past troubles, past trauma, past disagreements
all caused you issues. Was just saying thank you. And
that's what we're talking about today.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
Did you.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
Say thank you? This will Smith, this is talking cool again,
This is intellectual radio dot com and men like us
love us, subscribe talking cools for you. So many things
(26:21):
trying to pull away from gratitude. They even came up
with this term, y'all. I was looking up some stuff.
It's called toxic gratitude. Toxic gratitude, like having gratitude can
be toxic. Woo.
Speaker 1 (26:40):
I ain't making this stuff up.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
So toxic gratitude means like you feel like saying thank
you or showing some type of gratitude. You feel like
it's forced, it's hollow, and it's guilt driven, Like like
I really don't want to do it, I feel pressured
to do it. Everybody expected me to do it. A
classic example of toxic gratitude is like tipping.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
Some people just.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
Don't believe in tipping, but when they go out with
people and they sitting around at the table, they feel
forced to tip, which is a form of gratitude for
your service. So toxic gratitude means that I'm tipping not
because I want to, not because I agree with the
whole premise of tipping, but because you know, they gonna
(27:33):
make me feel guilty, they gonna pressure me, They gonna
toxic gratitude.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
So like toxic. Another example toxic gratitude.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
Remember when you was coming up and Mama made you
say thank you to your siblings for helping you clean
up your room. Well, Mama, they the ones who made
my room dirty. Anyway, say thank you to your brother
and your sister. So, now, as I think back in retrospect,
Mama was causing me to be toxic because my siblings.
(28:07):
The one that my brother's sister messed up the room,
that one came in and started messing with my stuff.
But uh, you know, I know my mam would be
listening to the show, but I was just those are
just jokes, Mama. It's not toxic, you know. You know
I'm just playing.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
But toxic gratitude.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
They even have a saying for gratitude being toxic. But
we're not gonna get caught up in people making something.
Speaker 1 (28:31):
Like that negative because it just is what it is.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
If you don't want to pay a tip, don't pay
the tip, pay the bill, don't pay the tip, don't
feel guilty, don't pay the tip, don't pay the tip,
however you feel.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
But that's one thing.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
So back to our regular schedule program.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
Did you.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
Say thank you? So?
Speaker 1 (28:55):
Man?
Speaker 2 (28:55):
What I want to do is I'm gonna I'm gonna
help I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna help you because
this is what we do. This is what I do,
is what I've been doing this for like ever, and
so sometimes you got to help people with what they
can't do. Like if you ain't ever really took a
thought into saying thank you, or you don't say thank you,
it might be kind of hard to say thank you.
(29:18):
And so let's do this. Let's start a mental thanks
type of thing. Take a moment to think of somebody
who has done something for you, somebody who has done
something kind for you, somebody who has done anything for you,
somebody who did something that they didn't necessarily have to do,
and give them a mental thanks.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
Take five seconds right.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
Now to think about it and give them a mental thanks,
bare a mental thanks. Now we want to go a
(30:02):
little bit deeper. You can even keep a gratitude journal.
Ah man, this is this is this is this is
this is this is getting deep right here. See, a
gratitude journal allows you, at the end of the day
or during the day, to recap everything that has happened
to you so far this day that you're thankful for.
(30:24):
Or at the end of the day you just recap
from morning a sun up to some down what what?
Speaker 3 (30:30):
What?
Speaker 2 (30:31):
What?
Speaker 1 (30:31):
Am I thankful for?
Speaker 2 (30:32):
Am thankful for a peaceful night the house wasn't on fire.
Am I thankful for the breakfast that I was able
to eat? Am I thankful for my car started? And
I'm thankful for, you know, the job that I have,
even though if if, even if I got a great job,
if I'm thankful for that, if it's not so great,
am I still just thankful for a means to support myself?
Am I thankful for my coworkers? And I'm thankful for
(30:53):
somebody who helped me complete the job at work or
gave me some advice on how to better handle man.
A gratitude journal allows you to sit back and say, man,
I got a lot of reasons and a lot of
people who have poured into me today alone that I
(31:13):
should be thankful for and to do this type of stuff.
So when you do this type of stuff, it's called
being intentional, and so being intentional with your interactions to
thank people for small things. Man, you got to be intentional,
you know, to make that money, to achieve your goals,
to get that education, to kick that habit to make
(31:36):
the relationship work. Man, It don't just happen. Man, You
got to be intentional about this stuff. So can you
intentionally go through the day and say, man, I am
going to think at least six to eight people for
like small stuff. When you at CBS and she hands
you your back or he hands you your back, thank you.
Speaker 1 (31:59):
Brother. Man, you have a good day.
Speaker 2 (32:02):
Man?
Speaker 1 (32:02):
Is that that is that difficult to do?
Speaker 2 (32:04):
When you get your sandwich fixed at sub way, I
may appreciate it, man, thanks for fixing the sandwich.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
I mean, y'all take care of it here.
Speaker 2 (32:12):
Man. Can you find six reasons in any given day
to say thank you? Thank you baby, thank you for
fixing my plate. Man, I appreciate you so much, baby,
Thank you. Man, be intentional about it. Put some positive
energy into the atmosphere, because the study show when you
(32:33):
put it out, it comes right back. Thank you. H
Did you say thank you?
Speaker 1 (32:43):
That's what this show is. I like this.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
Little things mean a lot, all right? What separates the
successful from the not successful? What success? What separates the
doers from the haters? Small things? Did you say thank you?
(33:08):
You know it's this dude, meister Eckerhart has this famous
quote you know that I thought was interesting. He said,
if the only prayer you ever say in your life
is thank you, he said, it will be enough if
you just thank God for everything that He's done for you.
(33:30):
Meister Eckerhart said, man, that's more than most and that's
he said, that's what praise is all about. If you
say thank you to God for everything that He's done
for you in your life. If that's all your prayer,
said miser Echerhart says, man, you're doing right, m So
(33:58):
thank You's power for y'all. Thank you with spirituals. Thank
you as uplifting, thank you. It's selfless, self less, thankful
as a way of you giving and pouring into other people.
Did you say thank you? Uh?
Speaker 1 (34:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:18):
Don't let this holiday go past, don't let these days
go pass, don't let these moments go past.
Speaker 1 (34:27):
Don't let your life go past.
Speaker 2 (34:30):
Don't let the people who come into your world, into
your circle, into your spirit. Don't let them go pass
without you ever saying thank you. Man. One of my
favorite TV shows back in the day, The Golden Girls.
It's the song starts off it says, thank you for
being a friend. Travel down the road and back again. Ah,
(34:57):
your heart is true. You a pal and confidant. Ah, Man,
that's a lot. Just thank you for being a friend.
Thank you for being my boy man, thank you for
hanging out with man, thank you for being brothers. Can
you find reasons to say thank you?
Speaker 1 (35:20):
I think we can. I think we can can.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
Little things like this help to build a community, helps
to mentor to the younger brother that you that that's
in your life, leading by example of humility, selflessness. Just
saying thank you. M you let your girl know when
she didn't cook. How about making sure you think of
(35:46):
thank her when she do cook. She might cook a
little bit more. Mm hmm, I think I just said something.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
Did you.
Speaker 2 (35:57):
Say thank you? Did you think your mom? Did you
think your dad? Your siblings think your kids? Hey, it's
it's not sack religious. You know the house won't burn
down if you tell Jr. Hey, thanks for taking out
the garbage. We know that's what he's supposed to do.
(36:18):
We know that's his task, we know that's part of
his chores. But would it hurts they say, Hey, thanks sir, Hey,
thanks for shoveling the store. Good job. Mhmah. But daddy
don't me thank you. Supposed to get home.
Speaker 1 (36:46):
And your clothes are folded.
Speaker 2 (36:48):
Maybe baby girl decided to fall her daddy clothes he
said thank you. Maybe the mississ got tired of seeing
the clothes all over the place. All right, let me
fold this food cold clothes for m Maybe the house
is clean, mm hmm. Maybe she just still with you
(37:10):
after all these years and you've been acting a fool
and she ain't left you yet. You better say thank
you because you know you are hard to deal with.
Did you say thank you? Ah? Did you say thank
you this morning to the to the to the God
that you you worship for praise and if you don't
worship and praise God, or whatever your high your power is,
(37:32):
if your higher your power, it's the Chicago Bears. Did
you say thank you to the bears? If your high
your power is to the sun, say thank you to
the sun. If it's to the to the rain, say
thank you to the rain.
Speaker 1 (37:44):
Whatever your high your power is, to.
Speaker 2 (37:49):
That you say thank you because you didn't make yourself. Oh,
just kicking a little knowledge, kicking the perspective. I'm giving
you a thought, and I ain't saying my thought is wrong.
I'm not saying my thought is right. I'm just saying
these are my thoughts and they based on fact reality.
Speaker 1 (38:14):
Don't live a life void of.
Speaker 2 (38:15):
Expressing your thanks. Being thankful twenty four seven, three hundred
and sixty five days a year will make you a
better person.
Speaker 1 (38:30):
I'm just here to tell you this. Try Try, try, try.
Speaker 2 (38:35):
Being thankful, telling people thank you, Try being selfless, making
sure people know you appreciate your and gratitude. Try doing
that for the next twenty years, every day to the max.
Speaker 1 (38:48):
And if it don't work.
Speaker 2 (38:50):
Come back and let me know how the will you
tripping twenty years? Okay, and we'll about the stump into
twenty six. I give you the February of twenty twenty six.
Be intentional about it, letting people know you you're thankful
for what they do to you, done for you, doing
(39:14):
with you. Do your your gratitude journal. See if you
can tell at least six to ten people every day
thank you for the little things. Even if it's the
same thing that you thank them for yesterday, that don't
mean they had to do it tomorrow or the day
after or the day after. Twenty four to seven, three
(39:41):
sixty five makes you a better person.
Speaker 1 (39:47):
Makes you a better business whatever your business.
Speaker 2 (39:51):
Is, entrepreneur, whether you work for a corporation, whether you're CEO,
whether you're a judge, whether you're an attorney, whether you
are a working in a factory, whether you're whether you're electrician, caper,
whether the way you drive the bus where you'll see
got your CDL trucks, whatever you do, whatever you do,
I'm here to tell you that if you think the
(40:14):
people that cross your path, that come your way, whatever
you do, your business, your livelihood, your profession will be
enhanced because of the spirit of gratitude you're putting in
the atmosphere. Oh ah, trust me from lying. I'm crying
(40:41):
and I ain't got no tears in my eyes right now.
Having an attitude of gratitude not only will make you
a better person, not only make you a better business man,
make you a better spouse. It make you a better father.
(41:06):
It'll make you a better son, It'll make you a
better brother man, It'll make you a better friend. An
attitude of gratitude positivity allowing people who are in your world,
(41:32):
in your environment, in your circle, to know you appreciate it. Man,
I appreciate you every time I come to the office.
You're the first person I see at the front desk,
and you are always smiling. And it's times I don't
feel like being here, I don't want it, but every
time I walk in, you happy, and I appreciate that. Man,
Thank you for your spirit. You know. I used to
work overnight at Saint Bernard Hospital in a psych unit,
(41:55):
in a triage unit, and I had multiple jobs, and
so this was like my second job. And it was
from eleven to seven, eleven to seven, and I dreaded
going there, but I needed the money and so but
every time the shift, it was one of my coworkers.
Her name was Brenda. Brenda was a night owl. She
(42:17):
wanted to work at night. She didn't work in a
day time. She did her little nick knack running like
she knew every food spot open in the Inglewood area.
She knew she was getting a car washed. I'm like,
where you going at midnight to wash your car? She
knew every place. She would go, Hey, y'all, what y'all
want to eat tonight? What do you want?
Speaker 1 (42:34):
Ain't everyplace clothes?
Speaker 2 (42:35):
Nah? Brenda loved the overnight shift, and because she loved it,
it made it.
Speaker 1 (42:44):
It increased my it helped me like it.
Speaker 2 (42:47):
I love it, but it helped me like it because
Brenda were bouncing that office, full of life, full of
spirit and full of zeal and. I remember I had
to tell a girl thank you, but because because your
energy it's contagious, I don't be willing to be here,
but she come in so happy to be there. Man,
thanks somebody for just having a contagious energy that helps
(43:09):
you get by for the day. Ah, you're contagious, you know,
And that's that's you're contagious. Somebody is contagious doing some
positive stuff in your life. Go ahead and tell them
thank you the little things that mean a lot. Yeah,
this is this is Will Smith on Talking Cool We
(43:30):
on Intellectual Radio that the topic is intellectual radio dot com.
Speaker 1 (43:34):
Did you say thank you?
Speaker 2 (43:37):
So if as as as I'm getting ready, if being
having an attitude of gratitude of saying thank you, it
makes you a better person, If it makes you a
better business man, if it makes you a better spouse,
makes your better father, makes you a better son, a brother,
a friend, then what this show is all about is
this saying thank you makes you a better man? And
(44:04):
ain't that what we all striving to be the best
man that I can be. I think it's a song
about that again. This is Will Smith Intellectual radio dot Com.
The show is entitled Talking Cool all Right And as
I close, I'm gonna leave you with what I always
(44:27):
leave you with, the quote by W. E. B. The Boys,
There's no stronger force known to the world than a
man determined to rise. And we a out of here today.
I see y'all next week. Intellectual radio dot Com.
Speaker 1 (44:47):
This is Will Smith.
Speaker 2 (44:48):
Talking Cool Like me, love me, subscribe.
Speaker 1 (44:53):
To me, Roll with us Sun straight from again.
Speaker 3 (44:58):
Win we win the number never said stopped out? Win
did remember they on the list? Now they gotta pay
of chess. John's on a miss.
Speaker 1 (45:08):
We win and we win and we win. We win it,
we win, We win, and we went
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