The TOD Podcast. The year in review

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
All right, all right, good morning, good evening, and almost
good night.

Speaker 2 (00:14):
This is the t o D Podcast Topic of discussion
on Intellectual Radio. We are back at it again, unfinished business.
It's your favorite guys, son Chill on the mic, one
of your co hosts.

Speaker 3 (00:25):
Let's go boy, Big Lee, Ralph GI, Big Taylor, no
more a kas for the for the Yeah, you know,
I'll be playing with it. I go back and forth
with it, you know, Victor V. You know, Victor E.

Speaker 4 (00:43):
Vic Damon. Hey, it's been a wild ride, y'all.

Speaker 2 (00:47):
And we wanted to come out for the season finale
so we can close this chapter, put a pin in
the put a pin in the book as we end
out the year, and then we'll come back for season
two after this. But unfinished business, unfinished business, I'm sorry.

Speaker 4 (01:04):
A couple topics.

Speaker 2 (01:05):
We're gonna go back through buzz through some year in
reflections and things like that, and we just want to
open it up.

Speaker 5 (01:12):
Man.

Speaker 2 (01:12):
So there was a couple of things we had on
our mind, and one of them that one of the
things that we was talking about was black men going
at it with other black men, and we were talking
about that in the community and things like that and
on the come up as we all are growing up
and from young to the age we are now, So

(01:33):
we about middle age right, because life expectancy is seventy
two years for us, So we about middle age now
and thinking about it when we were talking about it, man,
it's crazy how it's hard for us to come together
and seeing the things that we've all seen and some
of the things that we've experienced, just seeing other cats

(01:53):
snake each other out, other cats kind of go behind
each other's back, you know all.

Speaker 4 (01:59):
And what's number one reason? Fellas? It seemed like there's
always attached.

Speaker 2 (02:02):
To this women, some form of a woman, and in
some way you would think it'd be money first or
respect first, and that's all attached, but that seemed like
that comes second and third. It seemed like women come
first on this one. Why gods snake each other out?
Let's talk about that, you know, let's let's let's get

(02:25):
in on this a right, so young to the to
the y N to the middle aged unks or what
comes at the ANX? What's the older cast what they
call the olds old g's they know about this too.
It's so many women to go around in our community.
Why why are we snaking each other out for for

(02:46):
certain ones. Man, and if they giving you playing, to
give me your boy play, they here to play.

Speaker 4 (02:52):
So what were we doing? What is the what is
the deal?

Speaker 2 (02:57):
Some people just want all to pull to theyself, That's
what's going on. You can't get it all to yourself.
They giving it away for free, you know what I mean?
You just And I think my thing with this is
learning this as a man or to the men I've
come to be. Do not attach your value, your sense

(03:18):
of self worth to women and your ability to get women,
as we say, get put. If you let that define you,
you will forever be a slave to that thing. You
had to have something a little bit more purposeful instead
of pleasureful, you know what I mean, Because LUs is

(03:39):
one of the most expensive decisions you can ever.

Speaker 4 (03:41):
Make, you know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (03:43):
It's like what it's a quick decision, you could do it,
but this thing costs you a whole lot. So I
think I've seen something with Michael joh White was saying
that too. They were doing like prison tours and they
were talking about like oh man.

Speaker 4 (03:57):
It was asking the guys in the room, like what
have y'all?

Speaker 2 (04:00):
What got y'all in here and and a lot of
them was like a lot of raised their hand was
like a woman you're talking about? Like I think he said,
majority of the group raised their head and said a
woman in prison. It's not worth it, Fellas, how is that?
Why is that the number one thing? Anybody want?

Speaker 4 (04:17):
Chime on that?

Speaker 6 (04:19):
Not?

Speaker 5 (04:19):
Really? Well, that's a good question.

Speaker 4 (04:23):
Time is different, you know, you gotta think about it. Man.

Speaker 5 (04:27):
It's like, I mean, that's a that's a that's a
great question.

Speaker 7 (04:31):
I mean, I'm not too sure why, but I feel like,
you know, I guess it's the lack thereof you know,
of of men you know dominating women or you know,
the ability to achieve a conquer women. You know, it's
a it's a beat on the chest because that's ultimately
what you want, you know, in some mindsets of me
and to where it's it's like you don't stand as
a real man if you don't have a woman by

(04:52):
your side and ultimately make her your wife. I mean
I think I think it's wow, Okay, now I give
what you what's gonna But it's like two different angles.
Like what we talking about, were talking about the men
that can get women and multiple women or we talking
about the guy who finally gets a woman, never really

(05:13):
had women in this life, finally gets a woman and
his woman, and what he thought it was it was
cracked up to be and now he doing something outrageous
finding out who the dude is or whatever the case
may be.

Speaker 5 (05:25):
So it was like, which type of dude? Though? We
which dude we're talking about?

Speaker 7 (05:29):
I think we're more so talking about the betrayal of
a of a man to another man because of a woman,
whether he gets women or not.

Speaker 4 (05:40):
Yeah, okay, that's more so.

Speaker 2 (05:42):
What it is is just a lot of guys end
up at each other's throats and you ask him the reason,
and it's normally like a woman involved.

Speaker 4 (05:51):
It's not all man he owed me ten thousand dollars.

Speaker 2 (05:55):
It's nah, man, he he was talking to my chick
or all my chicks sent him a pick.

Speaker 4 (06:00):
It's like, what is I think it's.

Speaker 7 (06:01):
The possessive aspect of majority of me like kind of
have in their regards, right.

Speaker 5 (06:08):
Some men just don't have to put it as other men.

Speaker 7 (06:10):
And I say that me defining that is more sort
of like even if you will conquer multiple women, right,
but every relationship for every woman you conquer. You know,
they get to understand who you really are. And you know,
so you have a lot of field relationships, but you
may see other men you know that you may be
with or hang around or just know from childhood to

(06:33):
where they relationship seems a little more successful than yours
and you kind of throw them under the bus for
whatever reason.

Speaker 2 (06:42):
It's funny because you may touch on a couple of
people that throughout life, this is happening, This is real stuff,
you know.

Speaker 4 (06:49):
It's the jealousy aspect.

Speaker 7 (06:50):
The jealousy is just how some relationship that you see
workout or play yourself out versus others.

Speaker 5 (06:56):
And you're comparing your relationships.

Speaker 7 (06:58):
You know, with with with the with your homie, with
one of your guys so forth.

Speaker 6 (07:05):
I would say, I would say it's just it's a
trust aspect.

Speaker 3 (07:09):
Either you you're not confident in what you have or
you just don't trust people period, meaning just and I
would say it's more so reflective of who you are,
So you don't really trust yourself to be honest about
how you handle relationships, meaning like I know that I'm

(07:33):
a snake, or I know that I may get down
on one of one of my guys so because that's
my mindset, I'm gonna beat you.

Speaker 6 (07:39):
I'm gonna beat you to the punch.

Speaker 3 (07:41):
So I say, it's just really really more reflective like production, Yeah, projection.
You're looking at it in a sense like this is
this is something that I do. I do, I do
it to you, Yeah, opposed to just being confident in

(08:01):
what you have and if you got if you have
any issues with with that, then don't be with a woman.
But don't sit here and try to find flaws and
who I'm with because you ain't confident in yourself or
you project trying to you know, project how you feel
about your situation off on, off on me. So I
would say in that, in that aspect, that's the reason

(08:23):
why it's important for us as men to protect our foundation,
meaning what what we have, so that we don't let
those type of people in because and it ain't always
so necessary and just it being I would say natural,
it could also be spiritual. You know, you you let

(08:43):
and you know, and that also goes so I mean,
you know, I know we're speaking about men, but women
the same way.

Speaker 2 (08:50):
I think they actually a little bit worse. They're a
little bit more cutthroat about it. In all honesty. Uh,
And it almost brings me to this question. It's a
cliche question. You hate the player, hate the game. It
sounds like we hating to play it too much. But
the game is death, Like the game is going to
be played whether you play it or not, definitely, you know,
So I think that should be more of the focus.

(09:13):
You know, fellas, we're talking to all the fellas out
especially within our own community, like we need more collaboration, cohesive,
cohesiveness and things like that, you know, even past the
women part. Let's say we get past the women park.
Can can brothers come together and create something together and

(09:33):
build with each other without there being an issue?

Speaker 4 (09:38):
And how rare is that?

Speaker 6 (09:40):
You know?

Speaker 4 (09:41):
How often do you get.

Speaker 2 (09:42):
To see that happen? You know, I see it a
little bit. You know, we we picking it up. But
if we want to kind of pave the way for
the next generation, if we want to pave the way
to show what leadership looks.

Speaker 4 (09:54):
Like among our women, because it seemed like girl code.

Speaker 2 (09:57):
They stick to each other even though they hate each other,
they still stick to it. But we tend to and
I know men are not as agreeable. That's part of it.
That's just a male's nature with testosterone and everything pumping
through us. But we have to find a way to
really build together, you know what I'm saying. Whatever, You

(10:21):
know what I'm saying, build, Build a new life, build, Uh,
just different ideas and things like that. I mean, I
don't think we want to keep everything the same as it's.

Speaker 4 (10:31):
Current, you know currently is in this country.

Speaker 2 (10:34):
We need to start thinking outside the box here, I
mean because that box getting closed in twenty twenty five
and whooping tail, left rights and hooks.

Speaker 3 (10:44):
Yeah, I would say on the aspect just the I
would say the gate the gatekeeping part, like understanding that.

Speaker 6 (10:49):
Oh yeah, that's a big one. You know, we're not gatekeeping.
And then we also just.

Speaker 3 (10:56):
Available with networking, meaning that you know, whatever our network
is like being able to collaborate with others, you know.
And so if we look at just our group itself,
we would have to just go through and break down
what our strong points are and then allow that to
be our focal point. Do the research, do the proper

(11:18):
research that we knew need to go through the proper
channels to get whatever we need to get, and then
bring it all to the table. And then you know,
we can we can work in that that way, but
if we ain't looking for those opportunities, we just like, hey,
you know this my lay, I'm gonna stick to my lane,
and everybody just go out and figure out what they
got going on, and we'll see who works for you know,

(11:40):
what works for who?

Speaker 5 (11:41):
I mean?

Speaker 7 (11:41):
I believe that that working together stuff, it don't work
because that's a certain level of unhealthy jealousy that individuals
have and the tears you know, black men or anybody
from coexisting.

Speaker 5 (12:00):
Each other or building together.

Speaker 6 (12:01):
Right.

Speaker 7 (12:01):
So it's like if i'm if I'm if I'm good
at something, and if I'm not good at something, and
I know that you are good and that certain thing
that I need, right, if I was jealous, I wouldn't
reach out to you, right because I don't want I
don't I don't want the notion of I needed you
for something.

Speaker 5 (12:22):
To overshadow to overshadow like I don't want to need
you specifically you black man.

Speaker 7 (12:29):
I don't want to need you, right but white man,
that's the ego, and the ego you know, just stressed
us from working together because you know, we we got that.
I want to say whatever you want to call it,
but we got that fulfillment of where we're competing to
some degree, you know, so we're mentally competing with each other,

(12:51):
you know, whether.

Speaker 5 (12:52):
It's materialistic, particulate.

Speaker 7 (12:55):
You know, or you know, whatever it is, you know
that we're competing against each other. You know that ego
would would trigger and that's what would cause you, you know,
not to depend on one of your brothers, you know,
and some aid or support when you're trying to get
to the next level or whatever you're trying to achieve
at that point. It's that And I also believe it's

(13:16):
like a whole generational curse thing. Like so when you
take it back to the terms of like pulling yourself
up by your own bootstraps or whatever the case may be,
if we all down bad, I can't I can't come
to you for nothing. You can't come to me for nothing.
So I have to do it. I have to do

(13:37):
it for myself. Right So when through through general, if
that lesson is being passed down, you got to do
it for yourself. You got to do it for yourself.
Then that's how it is. That's I mean, that's what
and that's.

Speaker 2 (13:51):
Kind of pass down I mean, decon Deuteronomy, let the
eye turned evil towards thy brother. It is a generational
curse on all of us, unfortunately, you know. But we
have to find our ways to kind of work through
that at some point, you know what I mean. And
you brought it up with like gatekeeping. That's that one
always gets me.

Speaker 4 (14:12):
Because I'd like, what what for?

Speaker 7 (14:15):
Why not want to you know what I'm saying, give
somebody the information.

Speaker 5 (14:19):
I want to let somebody know.

Speaker 7 (14:20):
I want to bring somebody and you just want to
keep it off for yourself gatekeeping?

Speaker 2 (14:25):
That blows me. You talk like you just said information.
It's just information, just letting somebody in on the meeting.
Hey introduce you to this person and information. We ain't
even talking about money yet. We ain't talking about giving
somebody the money to the leg up to start something
or start a business or an idea.

Speaker 4 (14:43):
It's just information. Why is that so hard? I don't
get it?

Speaker 7 (14:49):
And a lot of people would along with that, A
lot of people would tell you I got the same
resources as you go out and find it, gain the
knowledge yourself do. And it's like, as as true as
that is, It's like, what's the issue with me coming
to you? If you got the knowledge and not ask

(15:09):
you why do I have to know what I'm saying?
Go and look for the information. Now if you give
me whatever you know. I mean, of course it's my
duty to you know what I'm saying, expand on that
or to capitalize on that.

Speaker 4 (15:22):
But due diligence.

Speaker 5 (15:23):
Yeah, yeah, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 7 (15:24):
But if I don't know, and I'm coming to you
to give me something of what you know, and that's
your response.

Speaker 2 (15:32):
It's funny because we've done that just between us at
the table and the other guy. We'll do that where
I don't think I don't believe in y'all, correct me,
wround if I'll ever gatekeep something from y'all.

Speaker 4 (15:43):
But there is that little bit of what you just
said where it's.

Speaker 2 (15:46):
Like, come on, bro, we told you already, or come
on man, like get up and do something, just to
encourage you not to sit on information or be lazy
but you know, or procrastinated.

Speaker 4 (15:57):
But at the same time you're still gonna get the info,
like yeah, man.

Speaker 2 (16:00):
Go do this like like this, Yeah, you just got
you gotta do it to make it happen.

Speaker 4 (16:05):
But I give it to you.

Speaker 3 (16:08):
Yeah, I would say even just that aspect would make
make people be uh separated or make people come you know,
coming back to the the thing of just back doing
one another. I would say, if if you got that
mindset that you already separated from somebody because you look
at you look at it in the sense of like
you being compared.

Speaker 6 (16:27):
To somebody else, That's that's the reason.

Speaker 3 (16:31):
Why a lot of the collaborations are not coming in
because you you are you already have a mindset that
you being compared to somebody else. So if we look
at that and on on the level of us being man,
it's always gonna you know, however, it's socially engineered that
are you are you like this person? Are you like

(16:53):
this person? Who are you trying?

Speaker 6 (16:54):
What? What?

Speaker 3 (16:56):
What's the expectation or what's the measurement that you trying
to say?

Speaker 5 (17:00):
Me?

Speaker 3 (17:01):
How I am and what I do and how I
operate as a man. That's the reason why. So it's
like a lot of people have to I think, I think,
where to separate theirself in a sense to be full
and be whole. And that's why I think that the
collaboration part come in. They don't want to be connected
of being compared to somebody else.

Speaker 7 (17:20):
Yeah, but whether we accept it or not, we're being
compared infinite. You're going to be compared to someone. I mean,
even when you're dating women, you're being compared to the
previous relationship. If you have a woman and you married
this woman, you're being compared.

Speaker 5 (17:35):
To her father to some degree, or even her brothers.

Speaker 7 (17:38):
You know, like you being compared to some male figure
you know in a circle, or you know someone that
you're around, based on physical based on attributes, based on charisma,
based on putt you know what I mean, whatever it
is you being finances like you said, I mean, you
being compared to some degree, and when you consistently asking

(18:03):
for help to aid you or support you in whatever
you have going on, it appears or comes off is
you don't know what you're really doing, you know, or
you come off to sight exactly or that you don't
have it, you know. So I think that's the struggle,
you know, with you know, action for support. You know,
it's I mean, even when you're on the job and

(18:23):
you consistently asking for help, it's like can you really
do your job?

Speaker 5 (18:27):
Like can you really perform?

Speaker 7 (18:28):
Like it's a way you go about certain things instead
of just you know, asking for some type of leverage
or some type of support, And I think, you know,
that's the struggle there, you know, with you know, how
do I get this support without you know, asking or
what lead work can I put in? Or how do
I adjust, you know, to where I don't you need
the support?

Speaker 5 (18:49):
You know?

Speaker 2 (18:49):
At that point, I hope y'all can hear him keep
turning from the mic.

Speaker 5 (18:53):
So what what's the difference?

Speaker 7 (18:54):
Like how like how do you not cross that line
of you know what I'm saying asking for support or
asking for help and that could be the real reason
of why you asking or I'm just asked because I
really don't want to do it. I really don't want
to put in the work, so I'm just asking, like
like where's that where's that line that it's.

Speaker 2 (19:17):
Going to depend because the way I see it, it
just depends like if it was you to me, because
that's going to be depend person to person. But if
it was like you to me and you asked me
for something and I gave you the information, and then
five days ago by you asked me again, I'll be
what happened, and then five old days go about you
ask me again I'm like, hey, bro, are you not moving?

Speaker 4 (19:37):
Like what are you doing?

Speaker 5 (19:38):
Okay, So that's the same question.

Speaker 2 (19:40):
Yeah, it's like you're asking the same thing like are
you retaining it?

Speaker 4 (19:44):
Did you write it down? Is this important?

Speaker 2 (19:46):
Because why am I wasting my breath at this point
talking to you? And I think with some of the
gatekeeping stuff is certain people think about what they had
to go through to get it, you know what I mean,
Like I know what I've had to fall and fail
and back up to get it to get the experience.

Speaker 4 (20:02):
And now I'm giving you free game so you.

Speaker 2 (20:04):
Don't have to fall along the way. But it depends
on everybody's intentions. Like, like I said before, are you
a go giver like I am. I'm a go giver,
Like I'll go and give somebody some information. I don't
care because if it helps you cool. I don't just
to let you shine. I don't have to dim my light.
I'm bright enough as it is. You know what I'm saying,
light skin fever, you know what I mean. So I

(20:25):
don't That's the way I look at it. Though I
can let you shine, I don't mean my light is
themed so I'll give it to you. But it's gonna
annoy me that I'm trying to give you free game
and you not acting on it, knowing what I had
to go through to get it. Like that's where I
would get annoyed, you know, and I may not be
as quick to say something or give you something.

Speaker 4 (20:47):
I'll like, all right, man, I wait, let.

Speaker 2 (20:49):
Me sit back and wait to see what you do,
because now that lets me know what type of person
you are, Like you're gonna do somebody or not.

Speaker 5 (20:57):
I get that.

Speaker 4 (20:58):
Yeah, but we do. We need more of this collaboration.

Speaker 2 (21:01):
And one thing I will say to the ladies, since
y'all may be listening, or even to the fellas, don't
put that game down. We get on that video game
and we collaborate and we get cohesive, and we find
out new ways to create and do things on the
video game. We need to take that and put that
into real life. I see it all the time. I

(21:22):
see guys on Call of Duty two K and they yeah, bro,
they communication tenfold now, But then they can't do that
in person, or you know, they trying to. They cooperative
with a team and maybe at to lead a team
on Call of duty, but then they get in a
real world and they can't make up their mind on
which way to go.

Speaker 4 (21:42):
But on the game, hey bro, we're going right, let's
go right, hurry up.

Speaker 2 (21:44):
I have scoped out the scene and it's like, but
in person, you act like you can't do this, So
you do.

Speaker 4 (21:50):
You can do it.

Speaker 2 (21:53):
I mean I get it for play play, but you
need to be for real, for real, take them skills
and double back to real life with them.

Speaker 6 (22:00):
Yeah. Absolutely, don't.

Speaker 3 (22:02):
Don't make excuses for having a leadership role and then
not being a leader, like being passive in the sense.
So it's like, make make the decision, you know, and
whatever comes from it, stand on it.

Speaker 6 (22:17):
Whether it's a good decision.

Speaker 3 (22:18):
Or bad decision, but the decision has to be made.
And if you're in that position to make it, make
it said simple. So and moving, Oh you got something
you look I used by seeing.

Speaker 2 (22:32):
Yeah, he can sing, but we've been trying to get
him to all year long, and he been he's been
trying to avoid it. Look trying thinking about it now
you want to avoid it. But we were gonna get
him to sing for y'all on camera. Watch it's gonna happen.
It's gonna happen. But even moving past that, uh, conversation,
we can get into just the unfinished business of these

(22:54):
conversations that we've been having all year long. Anybody remember
any of those to touch on. I know you wanted
to touch real quick on we're gonna go through this
red robin real fast for each one, But I know
you wanted to say, like one last thing when we
was talking about step dads and equality and parenting, there
was one thing you want to the last minute leftovers.

Speaker 4 (23:14):
You wanted to cook it real quick. You got to
skill it.

Speaker 6 (23:16):
Let's go. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (23:18):
So so my my point on that was more so
I think I was just more so agreeing with Ralph
g Over here far as just understanding that there is
not really it's not really equal when we talk about that,
because if you if we think about it on the
level of us being fathers and having you know, having

(23:40):
our own kids or having bonus kids or whatever case
may be, Uh, it's still gonna be deemed a look
different depending on.

Speaker 6 (23:49):
Where the kid is placed.

Speaker 3 (23:51):
Like you know, in my situation, my kids don't stay
with me full time, but my bonus kid she's with
me full time. So I would say it's just it
would not be it's not equal far as how we
view it in a sense that who's really making the decisions, yeah,
or who's really making a sacrifice? Yeah, It's not really

(24:13):
equal far as that because understanding just the roles in
the house is that men provide a certain structure and
that structure that that we provide cannot be waivered in
a sense that being lenient.

Speaker 7 (24:28):
When you say quick question, when you say equal, are
you talking equality of the mother and you know, versus
the father, or you're talking about the equality of bonus
kids versus your biological kids.

Speaker 3 (24:40):
So I'm saying equality far as a mother and father
like being like providing that structure that you have in
the house, It's not going to be no equality when
it comes to mother and father far as the structure,
because you got to understand that as a father, I
don't believe that the structure changes only depending on the

(25:00):
like the relationship status. I would say as a father,
it could change, meaning that the father in the right
hairspace would be a little more lenient for the.

Speaker 6 (25:11):
Child if they are in a good hairspace.

Speaker 3 (25:14):
And I'm saying that to say that it's altered in
relationships that we really think, like dive deep into that
if if I if I'm separated from my kid mother
and I'm in a relationship that's healthy and growing and flourishing,
I'm I'm probably a little more lenient to my child
far as what they're doing. If they're acting up and

(25:35):
they in they you know, doing whatever they can they
doing or whatever. But if I'm not, I'm probably gonna
be a little more hard and a little more stronger
because I can really focus my I could, I can
focus my attention on the child even though I don't
want to, but it's gonna be a little more direct,
you know. So I'm understanding.

Speaker 6 (25:54):
That that that's how these situations happens.

Speaker 7 (25:58):
I do think that varies person, you know, relationship or
situation because me, I'm you know, I'm not gonna let
my emotions you know, god my you know, disciplinarian actions
or you know, my sternness, you know. And that's what
it sounds like you're saying. And you could correct me
if I'm wrong, but that's what it sounds like. If
I'm in a relationship that's flourishing, you know, and I

(26:19):
feel good about it, I'm gonna be more lenient versus
if I'm having hard times or going through hardships in
relationship that you know, I'm gonna be more strict and
I mean I can agree to.

Speaker 6 (26:29):
Vice or vice versa, vice versa. It could it all.

Speaker 3 (26:33):
It all really depends because I get a lot of
feedback when when the city, the other part is not happy,
it's like, oh, I'm gonna control everything, I'm gonna do this,
I'm gonna do that.

Speaker 7 (26:47):
But when when that's that's from a woman's Yeah, that's
how women operate.

Speaker 3 (26:51):
But but what I'm saying is men operate like that
as well.

Speaker 4 (26:56):
You yeah, men operate like Pau. That's a petty Paul.

Speaker 6 (27:00):
So we're not just gonna say that a woman. Men
operate like that as well.

Speaker 3 (27:04):
And then when it when they do operate like that,
then the woman gotta do check in are you good?

Speaker 6 (27:09):
Are you good today? That's what happens.

Speaker 5 (27:13):
Men men do operate.

Speaker 3 (27:15):
So we we're not We're not gonna make it seem
like but that's what that's That's what I'm speaking about.

Speaker 6 (27:20):
The equality part.

Speaker 3 (27:22):
It shifts, and it shifts in different different signs depending
on But I.

Speaker 7 (27:27):
Don't I don't think that's I don't think that was
a good example of like equality. I think that's a
good example of you know what I'm saying, co parenting.
I have how co parenting can be off and on
and up and down based off you know what I'm saying,
how one or the other. You know what I'm saying,
mindset or emotional space or mental space that they can

(27:48):
affect the other parent, right. But when I was speaking
on it, I was more so talking of the nature
of you know, as a step dad or whatever, and
as a father that's not outside of the home.

Speaker 5 (28:01):
You know what I'm saying, You're you're probably.

Speaker 7 (28:08):
Going to be doing more for that step child that
lives in your home than that mother is doing for
your child, the step mother of your child, and that
would just never be equal.

Speaker 5 (28:22):
Mm hmm, you get what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (28:24):
Yeah, But that seems like it's still overall based on
who has primary custody, is what I'm kind of hearing.
That's gonna, yeah, like make this go up and down
whether she has it or he has it, because then
it won't be as equal on her side because now
she has to go create her family and then get
the kid. Whenever, you know, it's whoever got primary cuts

(28:47):
sound like they kind of the the winner almost like
less like less sacrifices on them kind of thing.

Speaker 4 (28:56):
That's what it seems like from what you're saying.

Speaker 3 (28:59):
I mean, yeah, I get that part, but I also
will say that if if, if the woman is the
primary parent or whatever case may be, but she does
have the secondary meaning you know, boyfriend, her husband, so
on and so forth, they if they do have that

(29:19):
in place, then that means it's not just.

Speaker 6 (29:22):
Two parents, it's three parents.

Speaker 3 (29:24):
And I say that what happens in those situations if
you do not utilize everybody that's involved properly, then that's
where the equality could get broken. You know, somebody else
is picking up somebody else's slack. So you still got
to understand too, like who you're dealing with. We say
who you're dealing with in that sense, because it's not

(29:48):
my job or my responsibility.

Speaker 6 (29:50):
To uh check your emotional well being.

Speaker 3 (29:56):
When we all are our adults and have a respond
possibility to take care of whether we're sick, whether we
in a good space, whatever the case may be, our
prime our prime responsibility as a child, and that's what
we should be focusing on. That's what should be our
focal point. Meaning like it's not about us.

Speaker 4 (30:18):
Yeah, it's about the kid.

Speaker 3 (30:19):
It's about the kids. So that's the that's the point
that we need to be trying.

Speaker 7 (30:23):
To granted, and to add to that, it's you know,
as a step step dad, bonus dad, or whatever you
want to call me, it's not my job to replace
the father, correct, right.

Speaker 5 (30:36):
Don't you can't.

Speaker 7 (30:38):
I feel as though that that shouldn't be done, Like
I shouldn't. I feel as though if he's there, if
he's president, he's there, or whatever the case may be. Right,
And just because you are now at a woman who
is now in a relationship with somebody, that shouldn't to
tear you, to tear you away from the father doing

(31:00):
what he needs to be doing his responsibility. Don't put
the don't put his responsibility on somebody else.

Speaker 4 (31:09):
Right, she fired him, hired the step dad.

Speaker 5 (31:11):
Right.

Speaker 7 (31:12):
The stepdad is what that is. The bonus dad is
what that is. I'm a bonus yeah. But when a
lot of the times in these situations, right of bonus dad,
bonus child, is that when the father see that it's
a it's a step parent now involved, he tend to
slack off and he's tend to fall short.

Speaker 5 (31:33):
As it leaves it right, and it leaves it up
to now.

Speaker 7 (31:37):
The step parent to you know, take on that role
or take on that initiative to now I wouldn't say replaced,
but to pick up his slack, you know, pick up
his responsibility, you know, versus the mother, you know, just
taking on or just leaving a child to fall short.
At that point, and after so long of dealing with that,

(31:58):
you know, the mother tends to not rely on the
father because she's tired of hearing no, you know, it
can't be done, and she just solely responsibility, solely becomes
the step parent priorities at that point.

Speaker 3 (32:13):
Okay, I understand that part, and and well we're gonna
speak about that and that and the aspect of that
is that we don't want to do that.

Speaker 4 (32:24):
I was not expecting that.

Speaker 2 (32:30):
Let me let me upfront, person, we want to do No,
I know, I know what you I know what you're
trying to say. We I think all the guys out
there know exactly what he's trying to say without even
needing explanation.

Speaker 4 (32:44):
Ladies, you need to pick that up. Let me smooth
this over.

Speaker 7 (32:47):
No, he right, And that was very blunt and straight
to the one point. No, we don't want to do that, right,
And you can piggyback and add on to what I'm
about to say if I have to, Like, I'm like,
I'm still a father, right outside of just being a
bonus dad or whatever the case. I'm still a father, right,

(33:08):
so I still have a full responsibility to that and
to now also take on a full responsibility to your child.
That's a lot to put on a guy, especially if
the child has a father, and if I act a
father or whatever the case may be. So no, I

(33:29):
get you, like, no, you you don't want to do it.

Speaker 4 (33:32):
I think that works either way.

Speaker 2 (33:33):
Even if you put the duty on the mom and
now she's a step mom and a mom and now.

Speaker 4 (33:39):
She got an extra kid. Nobody should have that.

Speaker 7 (33:41):
But this is why I say it would ever, But
this is why I can say it would never be equal,
right because that responsibility don't goes on the step mother.

Speaker 2 (33:50):
It can, but again it's based on who got custodio
parent and all of these different things, but primarily as
her And speaking like how you always it don't happen
that way, It don't typically happen typically. All right, Well,
I got you on that. We got to move on
to the next one.

Speaker 6 (34:08):
Wasn't that real quick? So just we move on.

Speaker 3 (34:13):
So the point, the point I was making when I
said we don't want to get at what I'm saying.

Speaker 6 (34:17):
Is that.

Speaker 3 (34:19):
As adults as being in relationships, being in marriages, we
don't want to put extra strain on a relationship when
everything could be clearly communicated, what the responsibilities of taking
care of kids and you know, in relationships, we understand that,
communicate that so that we don't put strains in other

(34:39):
areas of relationships.

Speaker 6 (34:40):
That's it. It's just that simple.

Speaker 4 (34:42):
Okay, yeah, that's agreed. Hey, what was another topic?

Speaker 2 (34:46):
We can keep it spending keep spending the block here
because you said something earlier. Know who you're dealing with,
and we always say that, and then we tax that
back on deal with who you know. So I remember
that conversation that we have at earlier this year as well.

Speaker 4 (35:02):
And it's a two piece move though. It's two parts
to that.

Speaker 2 (35:07):
You do have to know who you're dealing with, you do,
you got to know your person, But then you need
to react or be proactive in a certain way, especially
if you want to see different outcomes in that relationship or.

Speaker 4 (35:20):
Therefore, even at your job. You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (35:24):
If you if you know that your job is pretty
much railroading you and you got something going on, you
know how they you see how they acting address it accordingly,
and now you got to be proactive on how you're
dealing with it and kind of meet them where they're at,
so to speak. Okay, but that's that's a two that's
a two person job. Like it takes energy out of
you as well to react and bounce back at that person.

(35:47):
I kind of remember that conversation.

Speaker 3 (35:51):
I would say that it was kind of like some
so I get that partner. And the part that I
want to talk about in that is that it does
take a certain level of reassure urance, and it does
take a certain level of just stepping up and taking
taking on a situation if you're able to fix it
or able to prevent things to happen. Uh, Like you

(36:13):
know what you say, being proactive. It's important that we
be proactive, especially when we know that we're able to
meaning that we don't let it get so far gone
that now we reach a point that it can't be fixed.
So we want to be proactive and in that aspect,
so you would say Okay, know who you're dealing with.

Speaker 6 (36:34):
Okay, So I.

Speaker 3 (36:35):
Know if I if something's gonna happen to the point
it's going to trigger the person I'm with, I'm going
to try my.

Speaker 6 (36:43):
Best to meet whatever the expectation when it coming.

Speaker 3 (36:46):
It might just be me being a little more transparent
or me me just being able to admit that I
made a mistake. But hey, I'm gonna let you know
the mistake I made and let allow you to deal
with with it far as hearing it from me and
then having to find out another way.

Speaker 6 (37:05):
That's me being.

Speaker 7 (37:05):
Proactive, right, And that that also goes into what we
talked about previously, like a couple of weeks ago, when
we were talking about choosing your partner.

Speaker 5 (37:12):
You know, have you chose your partner? And we like
every day is a choice, like every.

Speaker 7 (37:16):
Day you have to choose them, you know, versus yourself
versus your ego.

Speaker 5 (37:20):
And I think we touch bases on that, yeah versus Yeah.

Speaker 7 (37:23):
We were saying, like, you know, you know, based on
you know, some of the situations that may occur in relationships,
and how do you get around them, you know, by
being proactive and you know, by extending you know, the
extra you know, capacity or increasing your capacity you know,
to over take you know, some of their concerns or issues,
you know. And every day that's a choice, you know,
I mean every day, you know, I mean you fall

(37:44):
short some days because you know, you working at eighty percent,
some you may work at sixty, you know, be based
on the week and how it goes. But it's just
putting that forth an effort, you know, to do right,
you know, and not saying, you know, to do right
like you're doing wrong, but to just choose them based
on what their desires and needs is for that particular day,
you know. At that point, So we ran into a

(38:05):
few different scenarios that we discussed to where it's just like,
you know, you put your ego to the side, and
some of us, some of us have a hard time
doing that, to where it's like, no, I'm not gonna
do that because of how she responds, right, you know,
I'm not gonna I'm not gonna say that, or I'm
not gonna give her that validation or that reassurance because
of how she responds. And it's like, well, now at

(38:26):
this point, you're kind of choosing yourself, you know, and
it's like you know, put your ego to the side,
give her that and in that way, like we talk about,
you now have the leverage, you know, and with you
having a leverage, you know, you could you could go
all day back and forth with conversations, you know, and
as long as you got the leverage, you now have
ammunition to you know, hold over her head. I guess
to some degree to be like, you know, well, this

(38:47):
is how I perform. This is what I did. You know,
do I get any you know, validation or do I
get respected to some degree to where it's like, you know,
this is how I'm now performing, which is now the
new norm.

Speaker 5 (39:00):
So I know we touch bases about that on your input.

Speaker 2 (39:02):
Yeah, well, life is about leverage from business to personal,
and leverage is power. I don't think anyone should go
about leverage in an insidious manner. You know, it shouldn't
be instinctively trying to do any harm or anything like that.
But you definitely want that leverage because that it shows
like a certain level of control, or it shows like

(39:25):
you're you're still working, You're putting, you're doing something your
inputting because you're not getting nothing for free, you know
what I mean. So, yeah, that leverage is definitely key,
and I think that uh wait for you finished that point.

Speaker 5 (39:39):
It's a lot of inside. It's why you snickering up here.

Speaker 6 (39:45):
Because you said control.

Speaker 3 (39:46):
You know that, and that's a whole nother you know
aspect too, it's all control, like, don't control me.

Speaker 6 (39:54):
So we talk about control too.

Speaker 3 (39:55):
So you say that aspect like do we overly want
to control or do we still leave room to allow
a person to you know, show us, show show theirself,
like show who they are like, or we're just going
to restrict them to the point and just be like, hey,
you're gonna do what I say doing well.

Speaker 2 (40:12):
I'm not saying that is controlling for the other like
trying to control your person because we can't do that.
No one can do that your behavior. You are, I mean,
you are who you are and your personality. The only
thing you can modify is your behavior when you're with
somebody period. I'm saying control as you have a level
of control over yourself now because you know what you've

(40:33):
been doing, You kind of know a sense of like
the value of what you've been inputting. So you have
a level of control over yourself down to your emotions
or down to the mission because you're like, no, I
know what I'm doing.

Speaker 4 (40:46):
I'm doing this, I'm doing this.

Speaker 2 (40:47):
Like so, if you really want to go tit for
tat toe to toe back and forth, like let's do it,
then you should be able to go toe to toe
with me to show your value and show your worth
in this relationship. And that relationship could be work, that
could be your friends, that could be your girl, that
could be whatever, Like it should be about reciprocity. If so,

(41:08):
if you're going if you're showing or demonstrating that a
I got leveraged because look how much I'm doing, and
then they can't meet you there, like, well, I guess
I'm not doing as much as you or else it
would be the leverage would be equal. But if it's not,
then somebody's lacking at that point.

Speaker 3 (41:24):
Okay, And you speak about that, you said you spoke
about your value, so meaning that and that's kind of
that kind of ties into like how we were talking
about back doing each other.

Speaker 6 (41:34):
Man is back doing each other?

Speaker 3 (41:36):
What what do I really value my self ass or
what do I really hold my self as When I
when I speak about value and I'm speaking about that,
it's just like Hey, this little I have can be
the only value that I see as myself as a man.
It gotta be more than that. What else do I
bring to my family structure? Am I able to lead

(41:57):
and direct my wife approprily? I'm with the lead and
direct my children approperly. And if it's an if it's
an error, or if it's something that's going wrong, am
I able to be like, hey, this have to be fixed?
And also in that sense, being able to be accountable
if I'm the one that's causing the chaos and causing
the you know, the you know.

Speaker 6 (42:18):
Uproar in my house?

Speaker 3 (42:19):
Like, am I able to sit in that seat and
sit in it? Whether it's a good thing or a
bad thing? Am I able to sit in it?

Speaker 2 (42:27):
And speaking of that, I ain't sitting in nothing. I
tell you that right now I'm gonna move on to
the next thing.

Speaker 5 (42:32):
I ain't paying the five.

Speaker 4 (42:36):
I ain't sitting there nothing.

Speaker 2 (42:37):
But I will acknowledge it and I will validate. Again,
validate does not mean we have to agree. Validation is
I feel what you feel. I understand what you're feeling.
You know, it's a sign of empathy or an extension
of it. Now I can move on after I've done that,
I don't have to sit in that feeling with you
because that's emotionally taxing and or harmful to me.

Speaker 4 (43:00):
So you can do that all by yourself. I'll do
it with you for a little while.

Speaker 2 (43:03):
But whatever my capacity right there, I'm gonna cut it
short because I gotta protect myself when it comes down
to that. And I'm glad you brought that up because
that goes into the conversation we was having this year
about leadership.

Speaker 4 (43:15):
And we start talking.

Speaker 2 (43:17):
About the signs of a leader, characteristics of a leader,
and I think when we was naming it a lot
of it, we was kind of naming the bad qualities
of a leader. We didn't even touch on all of
the good parts, you know what I mean, We kind
of named on the bad parts. So having that sense
of empathy and validation and being able to kind of

(43:37):
be decisive and lead the way those are parts.

Speaker 4 (43:40):
Accountability was you just speaking on that is a leader?

Speaker 2 (43:42):
That's what a leader is supposed to do, supposed to
show the path and lead that.

Speaker 3 (43:48):
Path kind of like you know, if we speak about
that kind of like what the what the parents would
to tell us, Uh, don't don't do as I say
and not as I do. And it's like, but if
I see you doing on all, this just suspect me
to be doing it too.

Speaker 6 (44:03):
So it's like your monkey see monkey do yeah, like
you can't. We can't lead. We can't lead in that
in that aspect.

Speaker 3 (44:09):
When we talk about that, a yeah, do do what
as I do, as as well as what I say.
Both of those have to be together because it ain't
just what I say, it's actually what I do as well.
So if I'm leading in that way, then if you
do something different, you ain't learning from me. I'm gonna
tell you, hey, lead that outside, don't bring that in

(44:30):
here exactly.

Speaker 2 (44:32):
And that's funny coming back talking about parents with that too,
because I remember I made that Facebook post not too
long ago talking about the ones that pass you the
generational curse typically not gonna help you with it. So
when you say that from parents, yo, don't do as
I says, I that say as I do, do as
I say, it's like.

Speaker 4 (44:50):
You creating the issue.

Speaker 2 (44:51):
You're perpetuating it, and then you don't help solve it.
So now it's a whole new game plan over here.
We ain't following that We're trying to make something new
for our children at this point. We're trying to stop
that ball from getting passed down and create those new things.
And we gotta be careful as young black men ourselves
that we don't fall too much to that, because sins

(45:14):
of the fathers is real.

Speaker 5 (45:16):
You know.

Speaker 4 (45:16):
I just I done seen some.

Speaker 2 (45:18):
Of the mistakes I have made coming up, and they
just like some mistakes my father made unsubconsciously, I didn't
already did it when I think back, you know, his
procrastination to an extent, I still have that.

Speaker 4 (45:31):
I still struggle with that.

Speaker 2 (45:32):
I know some of it's a trumble response, but then
the rest of it is just it's a normal habit
that I have to break, you know, for me.

Speaker 4 (45:41):
I mean you obviously you get stuff from both parents,
you know.

Speaker 7 (45:45):
But that goes back to that conversation we had when
we was out your shooting doors. So what we was
talking to you about, you know, what you what you
feel like you old you know that might have broken.
We kind of broke it down into you know, father wounded,
you know mother, things like that, and we was discussing
furthermore with you know, how you feel about you know,

(46:06):
your step father usus your real father, and you feel like,
you know, you wanted to build that bond that you
have with your step father with your real father, and
you know how that make you feel. And I guess
you was, you know, in avoidance, not trying not to
create that with your kids as well. So yeah, so
I definitely understand where you're coming from with you.

Speaker 6 (46:25):
I wasn't that for that conversation.

Speaker 3 (46:26):
I basically was just saying that a lot of a
lot of how I am when it comes to my kids.
My thought was, and I think we kind of touched
on this on you know, one of the segments as
well that my mindset was, I'm not gonna be these saying, well,
I'm not gonna be to my kids the same way
my father was to me, meaning not having that relationship,
not showing up and being in their life. So me

(46:48):
being you know, thirty something years old now, I still
feel like I owe my father a sense of that relationship,
with that connection.

Speaker 6 (46:58):
Even though that.

Speaker 3 (46:58):
Was his job to to provide that, or even though
that was his job to he cultivate that, he's still
he still has not done that. And so when I
look at certain aspects when it come to my kids.
I'm like, I have to show up for them like this.
I have to show up for them like this, and
if I don't, that's me being like him in a sense.

Speaker 4 (47:19):
Yeah, that's how I've been.

Speaker 2 (47:21):
I try to go the opposite of whatever my all
my father's hiccups.

Speaker 4 (47:25):
I don't do it.

Speaker 2 (47:26):
I just stay away from it because trying to change
and trying to do something new. So I don't touch
drugs I don't trust, don't touch alcohol like that. And
I ain't go crazy in promiscuity. I mean, don't get
me wrong, I ain't no saint, at least not in
the beginning. But I ain't go crazy with it. And
I form some level of discipline because I know what

(47:48):
happened to him, you know, and HIV is real and
I ain't want that in my life.

Speaker 4 (47:53):
So I had to had to stay away from that.

Speaker 7 (47:55):
And that's kind of where conversation kind of transition when
we were saying, you know, who knows you better than
your own parents, right, And it was just like, if
I could develop the relationship with my biological father and
I can get to know him, you know, however I
decide to do that, you know, whether it's question his childhood,
whether it's crushing his relationship with his father, you know,
to where I can understand myself a little bit better.

Speaker 6 (48:18):
You know.

Speaker 7 (48:19):
So the building a relationship is like, yeah, you know,
I feel like you owe me this, but it's also
you know, gonna benefit me as well because it helps
me understand myself. You know, the applet ont far too
far from the tree. And since that is your father,
like you said, you pick up some of those traits
and qualities, whether it's do a trauma response or not,
it's just you know, you see yourself in him, you

(48:41):
know what I mean. And when you see that, it's like, okay,
so I understand me better and now I can like directly,
you know, help myself or you.

Speaker 5 (48:50):
Know put them yeah, and ask you put.

Speaker 7 (48:53):
A little more discipline on myself in that category based
on what you identify with, you know, building that relationship
with your father. So I definitely agree on why you
feel the way you feel. And I think I told
you this, you know, because it's the same way goes
for me with my father. You know, I'm just now
building that relationship and I start to understand them and
it's like, yeah, you know, I see a lot of

(49:14):
myself inside of him based on how he communicates with
me and what he have told me. And that makes
you just understand yourself and accept some of the behaviors
that you have, you know, more so of indirectly, you know,
trying not to be like him.

Speaker 2 (49:30):
Well that kind of And then that's funny because I'm
transwicked this way with that transition, right, because we were
just talking about we were just talking about personality and
whether you are inheriting your personality or if some of
the things you learn your mindset is coming from your environment.
And obviously what sparked that conversation was the young lady

(49:52):
on Pop the Balloon Challenge who had the glorious just
responds to the guy and everybody's playing that. She going
viral because she was so feminine and so graceful and
so soft demonstrating that, and everybody's like, wow, look at
her response. She had all the guys in upon my
hand that were watching that was watching the video, and

(50:12):
we were talking about her and how does she get
that mindset? Did she grow up like that or is
it just in her or was it something in her
environment that kind of taught her this is it? Is
it a teachable mindset or is this just it's either
in you or it ain't in you.

Speaker 4 (50:29):
To be like this.

Speaker 7 (50:30):
And we debated that back and forth, and you know,
we was leaning on more so of like it is teachable,
but then it was also like, you know, like this
is like who you are, you know, who you you know,
and we was categorizing it, you know, from you know
being you know, having an upbringing and you know, being
going without you know, having that struggle mindset or that
poverty mindset to where that's your comfort, you know what

(50:53):
I mean, at that point to where it's hard.

Speaker 5 (50:56):
To be feminine or it's hard to be soft or vulnerable.

Speaker 7 (51:00):
You know, when your mindset is consistently in a struggle mindset,
a hustle mindset, you know, you try not to go without,
you know, so you build up that burrier or that
wall to where you know it's hard, there's no way
to be so yeah, and you know stoic, you know
what I mean, you know, and so when you do that,

(51:20):
you know it's hard to come out of that trade,
you know, not far as you know. We're looking at
the balloon challenge and how vulnerable this woman came off
to this man that she did not know.

Speaker 5 (51:29):
It's like, you know, did she go through any struggles,
And I'm pretty sure she have, but we.

Speaker 7 (51:34):
Looked at it as that's a personality, you know what
I mean, Like she got to a point to where
she understood like this is who I have.

Speaker 5 (51:41):
To be to get what I'm looking for, you know.

Speaker 7 (51:44):
So it wasn't that, you know, somebody had to teach her,
but it was more so like her personality allowed her to.

Speaker 6 (51:49):
Be that way.

Speaker 7 (51:50):
You know, that's what she consumed as an individual, you know,
And that's what our argument. And I know you had
a different point of view on this.

Speaker 4 (51:57):
Yeah, well I think that it's her.

Speaker 2 (52:00):
I think it was more so like teachable through the environment.
I think some of that is her. I believe we
don't know her, but it looks like since that doesn't
happen often in the black community, that had to be
like an experience or some something you learned along the way,
and then it multiplied with your personality. And there she go,

(52:20):
going viral for something she said, just being so definitely
that wasn't it shouldn't be that hard. But either way,
end of the year, reflections fellas you know, we we
didnt came up eleven shows everybody in the books, and
we even get showed on another podcast episode sis to
be thank you shout out for letting us come through

(52:41):
sit and chat with you.

Speaker 4 (52:43):
And here we are. And I can remember looking back at.

Speaker 2 (52:46):
The very first episode and the nervousness and people's eyes
and the taping and this and that and the third
and here we are now eleven shows in season one
about the close the books on it, and it looks
like the men that came into this room a little
bit stronger leaving it. So I will say, I'm happy

(53:08):
to see that and that everyone's growing with this, and
I'm glad you are able to watch us through that
and grow with us because we definitely got more to come,
you know what I'm saying, So stick, stick with us
and rock with us on that point. But what I
do want to say for you guys is what are
some of your end of the year reflections as we
get ready to close out?

Speaker 5 (53:28):
Who would like to go first?

Speaker 6 (53:30):
Who would like to go first?

Speaker 7 (53:32):
What I could say is that, you know, are you
the last the podcast? Be honest, are you the last
the podcast? To you know, leverage some of my skills,
you know, to where I demonstrated, you know, throughout my
job and my career, and it was one of the
reasons why I decided to, you know, come on a
podcast and let's say, let's let's do it, you know.
So some of the year reflections, I mean, we had
a lot to talk about. I really feel like the

(53:54):
call the podcast, you know, our foond back, you know,
whether it's coming from Parl Rwanda, you know, and some
of the viewers itself, you know, help support and aid
you know, us as structuring our leadership and pushing us
forward to keep going.

Speaker 5 (54:09):
You know.

Speaker 7 (54:10):
We also had some constructive criticism as well, you know,
but I feel like it was all for the greater good,
you know.

Speaker 5 (54:16):
And that's some of my reflections.

Speaker 7 (54:18):
And like we stated, you know, this is the season finale,
our first season is coming to an end, and we're
definitely gonna.

Speaker 6 (54:24):
Keep this going.

Speaker 4 (54:26):
What you gotta rabbed Jai.

Speaker 7 (54:29):
My reflection, I just want to reflect on my confidence
level throughout all of this.

Speaker 5 (54:34):
Right, Anybody who.

Speaker 7 (54:35):
Knows me know, I'm not that much expressive with like
my emotions and my thoughts and anything.

Speaker 4 (54:40):
In that nature.

Speaker 5 (54:41):
So I use the podcast, I.

Speaker 7 (54:42):
Use this platform to be more comfortable in that space
and open up and be better at it expressing myself.

Speaker 5 (54:49):
So yeah, I think I've reached that sweet big big see.

Speaker 4 (54:56):
Big tail cutter brother, Let's go big.

Speaker 5 (54:58):
What you got, bro?

Speaker 3 (55:02):
So what I've gathered from this experience is just being
able to transition accordingly and allow when whatever whatever we
go through in life, no matter what work, you know, family,

(55:23):
so on and so forth, you still have a decision
to make, meaning to show up and show up and
be your full self, your true self. And as long
as we do that, everything else will go according to
what's already planned.

Speaker 6 (55:39):
I mean, we can.

Speaker 3 (55:39):
All try to break this down and make it be
a cliche of make it sound good, but the plan
is already in place. All we gotta do is just
get get up as you Yeah, get up, and just
move forward.

Speaker 6 (55:52):
Look the race, that's it.

Speaker 2 (55:54):
Yeah great, we got motion and we got momentum.

Speaker 4 (55:58):
So hey, that's how that matters.

Speaker 6 (56:00):
Season one YEP.

Speaker 7 (56:01):
Season one in the Book Season finale t O D
Podcast Big shout out to Intellectual Radio for shout out
to Earland Wanda YEP for keeping the platform going.

Speaker 5 (56:10):
We're definitely gonna kick season two off next year, you know,
as we hold the t o D Podcast, damn we
Out