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June 23, 2025 36 mins

My Personal Financial Adviser Paradox

  • How I spent years giving brilliant financial advice whilst being unable to follow it myself
  • Why excess money never felt safe to hold - everything above day-to-day needs felt dangerous
  • The realisation that it wasn't about willpower, knowledge, or self-control
  • How inherited beliefs about money scarcity and "dirty money" from family arguments shaped my nervous system responses

Understanding Borrowed Beliefs - The Father Christmas Analogy

  • Borrowed beliefs as gifts in Father Christmas's sack - given with love but not all serving us today
  • How these beliefs often hold secondary gains and serve us in some way (usually safety)
  • The importance of returning unused "gifts" with love and gratitude to break generational patterns
  • Why changing our money relationship impacts every future generation

Where Inherited Money Scripts Come From

  • Family dynamics and early childhood experiences (my Warwick Castle story about my brother losing £20)
  • Religious and cultural influences on money beliefs
  • Specific historical events our families lived through
  • Personal money experiences that create lasting impressions
  • The crucial question: "In my family, money was..."

The Three Predictable Patterns of Borrowed Beliefs

Low Receiving Pattern:

  • Difficulty allowing money, opportunities, or compliments to come in
  • Common beliefs: "Rich people are greedy," "Money corrupts people," "I don't deserve money"
  • Shows up as: undercharging, deflecting compliments, turning down opportunities, feeling guilty about success
  • My personal example of struggling with praise and awards

Low Holding Pattern:

  • Brilliant at making money but terrible at keeping it
  • Common beliefs: "Money disappears anyway," "Something bad happens when I have too much"
  • Shows up as: impulsive spending after earning well, self-sabotage when successful, anxiety about bank balances
  • Case study of my student hitting six-figure months then immediately booking lavish holidays

Low Giving Pattern:

  • Fear-based hoarding rather than conscious saving
  • Common beliefs: "I can't afford to be generous," "If I
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