December 31, 2024 • 12 mins
Feeling the quiet pressure of being the provider, even in a loving relationship? This episode dives deep into the invisible weight of financial leadership, how it impacts romantic dynamics, and practical strategies for fostering true partnership and balance.
Why You Should Listen
- Understand the Invisible Load: Learn about the hidden emotional and mental burdens that often accompany financial leadership in relationships.
- Redefine Partnership Dynamics: Discover tools and strategies to balance roles and responsibilities in ways that feel equitable, not just equal.
- Create Sustainable Success: Explore how shifting priorities and evolving seasons in life can require changes in relationship roles for long-term sustainability.
- Practical Tools for Balance: Use actionable strategies like a responsibility audit to foster clarity, fairness, and shared ownership with your partner.
Tune in to discover actionable strategies for redefining roles and fostering true connection with your partner.
Resources shared:
✨ Be the first to know about private 1:1 coaching spot availability - join the waitlist: https://jereshiahawk.com/waitlist
Craving raw, real, and relatable insights from a multi-7 figure business advisor and coach who's been in your shoes and is still walking the path? In my email newsletter, I share practical lessons on building a sustainable, profitable business — without sacrificing what matters most. Ready to join the journey... Subscribe here: https://jereshiahawk.com/insider
Stay connected with me in real-time over on Instagram! I share daily insights, behind-the-scenes moments, and a peek into my slow morning rituals: www.instagram.com/jereshiahawk
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hello there.
Welcome back to I said today,we're diving into a topic that I
know will hit home for so manyof you.
Having a supportive partner, butstill feeling really isolated
and alone in theresponsibilities that you carry.
If you're the primary financialdriver in your relationship,
this might sound familiar.
(00:22):
Your partner is there for you.
They cheer you on.
They love you.
And they genuinely want you towin.
They want to see you succeed,but somehow the weight of
providing that invisiblepressure to make it all happen
still feels like it restssquarely on your shoulders.
This episode is called.
I have a supportive partner, butI still feel alone in this.
(00:45):
Together, we're going to unpackwhat it means to carry that
invisible weight, how financialdynamics can unintentionally
impact your romanticrelationships.
And most importantly, how did itfind support so that you and
your partner feel like truepartners in this journey?
Before we dig in to today'sconversation.
I want to remind you that thisepisode is part of our winter
(01:07):
season.
Creating success that sustainsyou this season is all about
building success.
That feels whole supported andfulfilling.
Not just impressive on paper.
Last episode we talked about, Iknow this isn't working, but
letting go feels like failing.
We explore the power ofrecognizing when something isn't
serving you anymore and havingthe courage to release it.
(01:28):
Even when it feels likequitting.
It was all about creating spacefor alignment and
sustainability.
So today we're going to becontinuing that conversation in
a new way, because sometimesholding onto roles that no
longer serve you by carrying thefinancial weight alone.
I can create the same tension.
So if you're ready to take acloser look at your relationship
dynamics, redefined fairness,and let in your emotional load.
(01:51):
This episode is for you.
So, let me paint a picture.
You're sitting with your partnerenjoying dinner after a long
day.
They're asking about yourbusiness, cheering on your
progress and telling you howproud they are, of what you've
built.
It's all love.
All encouragement.
On the surface, everything looksperfect, you know, but inside
(02:13):
there is a quiet weight.
You can't quite name, it's thepressure of being the provider,
especially when maybe thiswasn't always the plan or maybe
it wasn't the plan for you to bethe provider for as long as you
have been the person making surethe bills are paid, the dreams
are funded in the security netis always there.
Your partner is supportive, butthey don't feel that weight in
(02:36):
the same way that you do.
Maybe you've whispered thisthought to yourself late at
night, you know, I'm not alone,but why does this feel so
lonely?
Maybe feeling guilt or a littlebit of remorse because like,
look at it, you have a supersupportive partner and you're
doing really, really well.
And it's super successful.
Like, quote unquote, what shouldyou be complaining about?
(02:57):
But when maybe you're steppinginto a new season of life,
thinking about family planning,maybe your kid's dynamics in
regards to how active of aparent you need to be based off
of, you know, Afterschoolactivities or just the type of
attention and support they need.
Like maybe now you're entering aseason where you feel is if.
The supportive financial loadthat you've been carrying and no
(03:20):
longer is going to besustainable for the next chapter
in your life.
And if you've ever felt thatway, or if you're currently
feeling that way, I really hopethat you enjoy this episode
because I made it just for you.
So I want to share a story withyou that might resonate.
I had a client whose partner hadrecently launched his own
entrepreneurial venture.
It was his dream and she was allin like fully committed to
(03:41):
helping him bring that vision tolife.
With her support, his businesstook off, like it started
thriving in ways.
Neither of them had reallyexpected.
But something interestinghappened as the business grew,
their re their roles began toshift.
And what started as her helpinghim involved into her, leading
(04:02):
the charge.
She became the face of thebrand.
She led sales strategy andultimately became the financial
driver of their household.
And while her partner remainedloving and supportive, always
cheering her on, there was thisunspoken tension that was
starting to create some morefriction in the relationship.
And also with her relationshipwith becoming more successful,
(04:24):
like the S the success that theycreated together was a blessing,
but it came with a weight.
She didn't really anticipate.
The burden of what if this allfalls apart?
Felt like hers to hold alone.
This story highlights somethingEve Rodsky talks about in her
book, fair play, and I'll makesure to link the Amazon link to
(04:44):
get the book in the show notesfor you.
The invisible workload thatcomes with being the financial
leader.
Rod skied says the invisibleworkload of a partnership can be
just as heavy as the visibletasks we perform often more.
So.
You know, it's not just aboutpaying bills or covering
expenses.
It's the mental load that isassociated with being the person
(05:05):
responsible for that.
And the emotional tracking ofeverything from clash flow to
future risks.
It's the quiet weight of knowingyou're the safety net.
And for my tie-in in thisexample, this was the real
tension that she was reallywrestling with.
Like her partner support wasthere, but it didn't lift the
load because they hadn't yetredefine their roles in this new
(05:26):
reality.
And I think that there areseasons right in life where yes,
maybe you can.
You know, and feel totally finecarrying the financial load.
In addition to carrying the riskand the responsibility that
comes with leadership anddecision-making as a CEO.
But when you couple that, inaddition to like household, um,
(05:46):
management, in addition topotentially like caretaking
either for kids or for anelderly person, like doing,
being the head of all of thosethings can become a massive
burden that I honestly don'tthink it's talked about enough
in our industry, especiallywhen.
You know, women.
I work with 98% women clients.
And when they start really,really crushing it and hitting
(06:09):
new income brackets and makingmore money than they've ever
made before this unspokendynamic of success happens,
when, you know, how does the.
Roles needed need to either berenegotiated or redefined at
home.
And here's what I want tonormalize.
Life has seasons.
Being the primary income earnermight feel manageable in one
(06:30):
season, right?
Like when you're buildingmomentum, your business is
growing and the energy is high.
But in another season, that samerole can feel way too heavy.
Maybe you're starting a family.
Maybe your health needs yourattention.
Maybe your priorities areshifting and you want more space
for rest or creative vision, buthere's the truth.
Like success means givingyourself permission to let roles
(06:52):
evolve.
And I really want you to letthat sink in.
It's okay.
To shift responsibilities.
It's okay to ask for moresupport.
Like it's okay to recognizethat, Hey, my season is changing
and my priorities of what I usedto really, really care about.
They're allowed to change.
So take a moment to askyourself, what season am I in?
(07:14):
And what does this seasonrequire of me?
How am I holding ontoresponsibilities that no longer
serve me or my family's needs?
And that can hopefully help youget a little bit more
self-awareness and insight onreally how you need to be
resourcing yourself and how youneed to advocate for yourself in
this season.
So this brings me to agame-changing insight from the
(07:35):
same book.
Fair play.
True partnership is aboutownership, not just helping.
Come on.
That's a mic drop moment rightthere.
For my client, this was a majorbreakthrough.
Like she and her partner satdown, redefine their roles.
Her partner started to ownresponsibilities that she had
been holding alone.
Things that might've seemedsmall on the surface, but
(07:57):
significantly lightened hermental load.
And these are typically thingsthat they never really
verbalized or like activelydiscussed before.
It was just kind of like thisunspoken expectation that kind
of had evolved during the courseof their marriage in
relationship.
So here's a tool that you cantry, sit down with your partner
and do a responsibility audit,write down all of your visible
(08:17):
and more importantly, thoseinvisible responsibilities, the
tasks and the mental tracking,then ask, who owns, what, where
do roles need to shift and howcan we create balance?
That feels fair for both of us,as it relates to the season that
we are currently in.
Remember, this isn't aboutsplitting things 50 50, but it's
about sharing the weightmentally, emotionally, and
(08:39):
logistically.
Fairness doesn't always meanequality.
It means equity.
It means each person feelsvalued and supported in the
roles they carry.
So for my client fairness didn'tmean her partner had to
contribute financially in theexact same way.
She did.
Instead, it was aboutrecognizing their unique
contributions and ensuring thatshe no longer felt alone in the
(09:01):
invisible workload that she hadon top of her plate.
In addition to everything thatwas going on in the business
too, is there ask yourself,like, what would fairness look
like?
For us in the season.
And how can both of us feelrecognized, supported, and
aligned in our partnership?
The big takeaway here is thattrue partnership?
Isn't just about visible tasks.
(09:22):
It's about sharing the invisibleweight, the planning, the mental
load, the unspokenresponsibilities that come with
leadership and provision.
So I really want to like closethis out with a really affirming
affirmation statement that ifyou're really wrestling with
this right now, this issomething that you can write on
a post-it note.
Repeat verbally to yourselfduring your morning routine, or
(09:45):
as you're winding down in theevening.
I am worthy of support.
Even as a strong provider, Irelease the need to carry it all
alone and welcome truepartnership into my life.
I am worthy of support even as astrong provider.
I released the need to carry itall alone and welcome true
(10:08):
partnership into my life.
Repeat that to yourself.
And really give yourselfpermission to release the need
to carry it all alone becauseyou don't have to.
Today's episode resonated withyou.
I encourage you to have anhonest conversation with your
partner about the invisibleworkload and your relationship.
Start small, create space forbalance and allow your
(10:30):
partnership to evolve with theseason that you're in and the
new responsibilities on yourplate.
Thank you so much for tuning intoday.
Here's to building a partnershipwhere both of you feel seen
valued and supported every stepof the way.
If you enjoy this episode,please let's continue the
conversation.
Send me a direct message onInstagram.
Tag me on your IgE stories.
(10:51):
Let me know.
You're listening.
And I look forward to seeing youin the next episode.
Hello there.
Welcome back to I said today,we're diving into a topic that I
know will hit home for so manyof you.
Having a supportive partner, butstill feeling really isolated
and alone in theresponsibilities that you carry.
If you're the primary financialdriver in your relationship,
this might sound familiar.
(00:22):
Your partner is there for you.
They cheer you on.
They love you.
And they genuinely want you towin.
They want to see you succeed,but somehow the weight of
providing that invisiblepressure to make it all happen
still feels like it restssquarely on your shoulders.
This episode is called.
I have a supportive partner, butI still feel alone in this.
(00:45):
Together, we're going to unpackwhat it means to carry that
invisible weight, how financialdynamics can unintentionally
impact your romanticrelationships.
And most importantly, how did itfind support so that you and
your partner feel like truepartners in this journey?
Before we dig in to today'sconversation.
I want to remind you that thisepisode is part of our winter
(01:07):
season.
Creating success that sustainsyou this season is all about
building success.
That feels whole supported andfulfilling.
Not just impressive on paper.
Last episode we talked about, Iknow this isn't working, but
letting go feels like failing.
We explore the power ofrecognizing when something isn't
serving you anymore and havingthe courage to release it.
(01:28):
Even when it feels likequitting.
It was all about creating spacefor alignment and
sustainability.
So today we're going to becontinuing that conversation in
a new way, because sometimesholding onto roles that no
longer serve you by carrying thefinancial weight alone.
I can create the same tension.
So if you're ready to take acloser look at your relationship
dynamics, redefined fairness,and let in your emotional load.
(01:51):
This episode is for you.
So, let me paint a picture.
You're sitting with your partnerenjoying dinner after a long
day.
They're asking about yourbusiness, cheering on your
progress and telling you howproud they are, of what you've
built.
It's all love.
All encouragement.
On the surface, everything looksperfect, you know, but inside
(02:13):
there is a quiet weight.
You can't quite name, it's thepressure of being the provider,
especially when maybe thiswasn't always the plan or maybe
it wasn't the plan for you to bethe provider for as long as you
have been the person making surethe bills are paid, the dreams
are funded in the security netis always there.
Your partner is supportive, butthey don't feel that weight in
(02:36):
the same way that you do.
Maybe you've whispered thisthought to yourself late at
night, you know, I'm not alone,but why does this feel so
lonely?
Maybe feeling guilt or a littlebit of remorse because like,
look at it, you have a supersupportive partner and you're
doing really, really well.
And it's super successful.
Like, quote unquote, what shouldyou be complaining about?
(02:57):
But when maybe you're steppinginto a new season of life,
thinking about family planning,maybe your kid's dynamics in
regards to how active of aparent you need to be based off
of, you know, Afterschoolactivities or just the type of
attention and support they need.
Like maybe now you're entering aseason where you feel is if.
The supportive financial loadthat you've been carrying and no
(03:20):
longer is going to besustainable for the next chapter
in your life.
And if you've ever felt thatway, or if you're currently
feeling that way, I really hopethat you enjoy this episode
because I made it just for you.
So I want to share a story withyou that might resonate.
I had a client whose partner hadrecently launched his own
entrepreneurial venture.
It was his dream and she was allin like fully committed to
(03:41):
helping him bring that vision tolife.
With her support, his businesstook off, like it started
thriving in ways.
Neither of them had reallyexpected.
But something interestinghappened as the business grew,
their re their roles began toshift.
And what started as her helpinghim involved into her, leading
(04:02):
the charge.
She became the face of thebrand.
She led sales strategy andultimately became the financial
driver of their household.
And while her partner remainedloving and supportive, always
cheering her on, there was thisunspoken tension that was
starting to create some morefriction in the relationship.
And also with her relationshipwith becoming more successful,
(04:24):
like the S the success that theycreated together was a blessing,
but it came with a weight.
She didn't really anticipate.
The burden of what if this allfalls apart?
Felt like hers to hold alone.
This story highlights somethingEve Rodsky talks about in her
book, fair play, and I'll makesure to link the Amazon link to
(04:44):
get the book in the show notesfor you.
The invisible workload thatcomes with being the financial
leader.
Rod skied says the invisibleworkload of a partnership can be
just as heavy as the visibletasks we perform often more.
So.
You know, it's not just aboutpaying bills or covering
expenses.
It's the mental load that isassociated with being the person
(05:05):
responsible for that.
And the emotional tracking ofeverything from clash flow to
future risks.
It's the quiet weight of knowingyou're the safety net.
And for my tie-in in thisexample, this was the real
tension that she was reallywrestling with.
Like her partner support wasthere, but it didn't lift the
load because they hadn't yetredefine their roles in this new
(05:26):
reality.
And I think that there areseasons right in life where yes,
maybe you can.
You know, and feel totally finecarrying the financial load.
In addition to carrying the riskand the responsibility that
comes with leadership anddecision-making as a CEO.
But when you couple that, inaddition to like household, um,
(05:46):
management, in addition topotentially like caretaking
either for kids or for anelderly person, like doing,
being the head of all of thosethings can become a massive
burden that I honestly don'tthink it's talked about enough
in our industry, especiallywhen.
You know, women.
I work with 98% women clients.
And when they start really,really crushing it and hitting
(06:09):
new income brackets and makingmore money than they've ever
made before this unspokendynamic of success happens,
when, you know, how does the.
Roles needed need to either berenegotiated or redefined at
home.
And here's what I want tonormalize.
Life has seasons.
Being the primary income earnermight feel manageable in one
(06:30):
season, right?
Like when you're buildingmomentum, your business is
growing and the energy is high.
But in another season, that samerole can feel way too heavy.
Maybe you're starting a family.
Maybe your health needs yourattention.
Maybe your priorities areshifting and you want more space
for rest or creative vision, buthere's the truth.
Like success means givingyourself permission to let roles
(06:52):
evolve.
And I really want you to letthat sink in.
It's okay.
To shift responsibilities.
It's okay to ask for moresupport.
Like it's okay to recognizethat, Hey, my season is changing
and my priorities of what I usedto really, really care about.
They're allowed to change.
So take a moment to askyourself, what season am I in?
(07:14):
And what does this seasonrequire of me?
How am I holding ontoresponsibilities that no longer
serve me or my family's needs?
And that can hopefully help youget a little bit more
self-awareness and insight onreally how you need to be
resourcing yourself and how youneed to advocate for yourself in
this season.
So this brings me to agame-changing insight from the
(07:35):
same book.
Fair play.
True partnership is aboutownership, not just helping.
Come on.
That's a mic drop moment rightthere.
For my client, this was a majorbreakthrough.
Like she and her partner satdown, redefine their roles.
Her partner started to ownresponsibilities that she had
been holding alone.
Things that might've seemedsmall on the surface, but
(07:57):
significantly lightened hermental load.
And these are typically thingsthat they never really
verbalized or like activelydiscussed before.
It was just kind of like thisunspoken expectation that kind
of had evolved during the courseof their marriage in
relationship.
So here's a tool that you cantry, sit down with your partner
and do a responsibility audit,write down all of your visible
(08:17):
and more importantly, thoseinvisible responsibilities, the
tasks and the mental tracking,then ask, who owns, what, where
do roles need to shift and howcan we create balance?
That feels fair for both of us,as it relates to the season that
we are currently in.
Remember, this isn't aboutsplitting things 50 50, but it's
about sharing the weightmentally, emotionally, and
(08:39):
logistically.
Fairness doesn't always meanequality.
It means equity.
It means each person feelsvalued and supported in the
roles they carry.
So for my client fairness didn'tmean her partner had to
contribute financially in theexact same way.
She did.
Instead, it was aboutrecognizing their unique
contributions and ensuring thatshe no longer felt alone in the
(09:01):
invisible workload that she hadon top of her plate.
In addition to everything thatwas going on in the business
too, is there ask yourself,like, what would fairness look
like?
For us in the season.
And how can both of us feelrecognized, supported, and
aligned in our partnership?
The big takeaway here is thattrue partnership?
Isn't just about visible tasks.
(09:22):
It's about sharing the invisibleweight, the planning, the mental
load, the unspokenresponsibilities that come with
leadership and provision.
So I really want to like closethis out with a really affirming
affirmation statement that ifyou're really wrestling with
this right now, this issomething that you can write on
a post-it note.
Repeat verbally to yourselfduring your morning routine, or
(09:45):
as you're winding down in theevening.
I am worthy of support.
Even as a strong provider, Irelease the need to carry it all
alone and welcome truepartnership into my life.
I am worthy of support even as astrong provider.
I released the need to carry itall alone and welcome true
(10:08):
partnership into my life.
Repeat that to yourself.
And really give yourselfpermission to release the need
to carry it all alone becauseyou don't have to.
Today's episode resonated withyou.
I encourage you to have anhonest conversation with your
partner about the invisibleworkload and your relationship.
Start small, create space forbalance and allow your
(10:30):
partnership to evolve with theseason that you're in and the
new responsibilities on yourplate.
Thank you so much for tuning intoday.
Here's to building a partnershipwhere both of you feel seen
valued and supported every stepof the way.
If you enjoy this episode,please let's continue the
conversation.
Send me a direct message onInstagram.
Tag me on your IgE stories.
(10:51):
Let me know.
You're listening.
And I look forward to seeing youin the next episode.
Popular Podcasts
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.