EuroTrip(2004)

In honor of the late, great Michelle Trachtenberg, Brian & Cargill get their passports stamped hard as they go on a EuroTrip! 


Scotty doesn't know why donuts should be avoided...but you soon will.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:05):
Scott it us in know that's a mean junk and
watching Rabbi.

Speaker 2 (00:09):
You gonna come out and stop me? All right, this

(00:30):
is Dick Miller.

Speaker 1 (00:31):
If you're listening to Junk Food Cinema, who are these guys?

Speaker 3 (00:52):
Get your passports ready, Junkie on, because you're about to
take a trip with Chunk Food Cinema. The weekly cult
exploitation film guts so good it just has to be fattening.
I'm your host, Brian Salsbranham, joined as per usual by
my friend and co host. He is a novelist. He
is a screenwriter, a LIEUTENANTI Mega Force. Sende Paz on
the robo ramol.

Speaker 2 (01:11):
It's c Robert Cargill dot com dot com.

Speaker 4 (01:16):
Have you ever been accused of being a robot?

Speaker 2 (01:18):
Frequently?

Speaker 3 (01:22):
Well, on several occasions, Senator I was in fact accused
of being a robot. I plead the fifth and by
the fifth, I mean as Isaac Asimov's five Rules of Robotics.

Speaker 2 (01:32):
I am often accused of being a robot. But Officer,
I'm just a love machine.

Speaker 3 (01:37):
Oh yeah, that's the kind of quality entertainment you get
from Junk Food Cinema, which, by the way, is available
on your favorite podcatcher.

Speaker 4 (01:45):
Ten years, No, eleven years, Cargill.

Speaker 3 (01:49):
We've officially crossed into eleven years of doing this podcast.

Speaker 2 (01:52):
We've been doing the podcast so long we thought we've
been doing it for ten years, and we still think
we've been doing it for ten years. That is what
I think is important.

Speaker 4 (02:00):
Twenty years from now, we will think we've been doing
this for ten years.

Speaker 2 (02:02):
That is correct.

Speaker 4 (02:06):
Yes, Also on social media, and if you really liked
the show.

Speaker 2 (02:09):
I mean you really like the show.

Speaker 3 (02:11):
Like it as much as we seem to love disco
around these parts, you can go to Patreon dot com
slash junk Food Cinema financially support the show.

Speaker 4 (02:17):
We greatly appreciate it, Cargil.

Speaker 3 (02:19):
Unfortunately, this week's episode is in honor of a tragic passing,
somebody who left our plane of existence far too young,
someone who I think probably meant different things to both
of us, but someone who I very much enjoyed their work,
and I cannot believe that they are gone so soon.

Speaker 2 (02:39):
Yeah, we're talking about Michelle Trachtenberg and the many injustices
done to her at the end. This is really one
of those sad stories. She went out like Chadwick Boseman
in that in the last you know, six months of
her life, people saw that she was getting skinnier. People
accused her of being inarexic kep, being a eating disorder,

(03:00):
start being on drugs, and really she was recovering from
a liver transplant that was occurred of no fault of
her own, and that didn't take and she fell ill
and passed away. And then the oscars decided we don't
need her in the memorium. And people were like, oh,
wait a second, you know, it was too close, and

(03:22):
it's like, well, no, they got Gene Hackman in there,
so no real excuse. This is an incredibly talented woman
who was acting from a very young age, did a
number of things, and who I always found very funny
and very charming, even in the even in the very
disnified fair that she did when she was younger. She

(03:43):
was was just a very funny individual and and it's
very sad, And so we decided, yeah, let's let's talk
about a movie that, by the way, was not well
regarded at the time, but has aged so well it
has its own play in in in film history. You know,

(04:05):
if I were to any time you ask the question Hey,
what's your favorite song by a fake band in a movie?
Three out of four people are gonna jump in right
away and go Scotty doesn't know, without question, because Scotty
doesn't know. And the odd thing is that's people's answers.
It's not the it's not a correct answer because it

(04:25):
is a real band that just has an actor playing
the lead singer. But it's a real band named Leustra
who wrote Scotty doesn't know. They put it in the
movie and of course famously got Matt Damon to play
the lead singer hilariously and then wove that song into

(04:47):
the plot of the movie. And it's amazing. It's it
feels like it belongs there, you know, intrinsically, rather than
it was built around it. But the movie itself is
really funny and really good and built on a very
classic trope, but does hits all the notes just right.
And so today we're going to talk about that and

(05:09):
the work of Michelle Trachtenberg.

Speaker 3 (05:11):
Let me echo Cargill sentiments, you know, rip to Michelle Tracknenberg.

Speaker 4 (05:15):
I knew that she was I knew the cause of
her death.

Speaker 3 (05:18):
I was unaware of the unfortunate criticism that she received,
you know, while dealing with with, you know, treating that illness.
And I just want to say this to everyone out
there listening. The bottom line cost of minding your own
fucking business is zero dollars.

Speaker 2 (05:35):
It costs you nothing.

Speaker 4 (05:36):
It is a general sort.

Speaker 3 (05:38):
Of rule for social media and online presence in general.
You mind your own fucking business. Like I cannot believe that,
and I know, I know what happens, because, like you said,
it happened to Chadwick Boseman. That people just have to
pollute the world with their theories about what somebody clearly
has to be going through that they have no actual

(05:58):
knowledge of.

Speaker 4 (05:59):
That shit pisses me off.

Speaker 3 (06:00):
So again, just as a general rule of thumb, mind
your own fucking business.

Speaker 2 (06:03):
I just always go back to the the The tweet
that aged the worst in the history of tweets was
somebody had posted a picture of having run into Chadwick
Boseman in the last months of his life and he
was very skinny and pale, and someone had remarked and
it went viral more like crack panther and uh. Then,

(06:25):
of course, when we lost him a few months later,
that tweet was re emerged and quickly deleted.

Speaker 3 (06:32):
Yeah, if it were possible to rip someone's throat out
through a screen, I would have found a way like that.

Speaker 4 (06:37):
That's horrible. And and just again just general rules for life.

Speaker 2 (06:42):
Yeah, and and and and seeing that happen to her
in the last months of her life, it's just it's
it's so depressing if you see something like that, it's
it's one of those things that do you really have
to make a dunk? Do you really have to speak out?

Speaker 4 (06:55):
We have to have a conversation scenario one, no one.

Speaker 2 (06:58):
And and so it's very sad she had to go
through that criticism. Well she was slipping away, and it's
just it's heartbreaking. And I know people in the industry
who have worked with her and nobody I have not
heard a single bad word about her, So that when
this happened, I was like, we should really cover one
of her movies and talk about her career a bit.
And so here we are with euro Trip.

Speaker 3 (07:20):
And that's what's crazy about her career is I feel
like there are so many different spheres.

Speaker 4 (07:24):
I mean, she was.

Speaker 3 (07:25):
Someone born almost a year after me to the day,
like very much a contemporary, but she also has pockets
of fandoms in all these different places. I mean, and
she is someone who I have two distinct eras of
Michelle Trachtenberg. The first one is, of course, HTS Harriet
the Spy, the made for Nickelodeon movie that I absolutely

(07:47):
was a fan of as a kid. And then the
other big point of fandom for me with Michelle Trachtenberg
was this movie Eurotrip.

Speaker 2 (07:56):
This could be the trip of a lifetime. The French,
the Italians all have one thing in common. They hate us.
And here's a new reason to board.

Speaker 3 (08:13):
From the producers of road Trip and Old Schools made
for One Home month, you're oh.

Speaker 4 (08:17):
My God, made out with your sister euro Trip.

Speaker 2 (08:21):
No actual Europeans were harmed in the making of this film.
It starts Friday, February twentieth everywhere.

Speaker 3 (08:26):
That literally came out the year after I graduated high school.
So again, just like right there, growing up with me,
I feel Michelle Trachtenberg.

Speaker 2 (08:35):
So I'm if I'm if I'm hearing this right. The
subtext here is euro Trip all of a sudden made
it okay to think that Harriet the Spy was cute.

Speaker 4 (08:44):
I mean, it was okay for me to think that
back then because I was.

Speaker 2 (08:46):
Also our rage, That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (08:51):
And like, and I know that she was, you know,
huge on Buffy, but Buffy the Vampire Slayer for whatever reason,
both the movie and the TV show was just something
that missed me for much of my life. In fact,
I've only ever seen the first season of the show,
like as we're recording this, So that's not where Michelle
Trachtenberg lived. For me, it was literally Harriet the Spy

(09:11):
and Eurotrip. Eurotrip a movie I saw in college, and like,
you didn't expect a lot of because I always assumed
it was a sequel to road Trip, and the marketing
was kind of playing on that idea, trying to sort
of sort of in the way that the Italians tried
to convince you that after the Fall of New York
is Escape from New York. The makers of Eurotrip wanted
you to think this was a sequel to road.

Speaker 2 (09:32):
Trip because it's essentially the same fucking plot. Oh I mean,
I mean it's Hey, I accidentally insulted this girl that
I could actually be having sex with. I need to
go make this right, as opposed to I sent a
letter breaking up with her. We must intercept it. But
let's go on a road trip, Let's hit all the
road trip tropes, Let's have some great cameos and go

(09:57):
for it. And what really works about that is how
interesting the cast is, the you know and the characters
they create, and frankly it a lot of it is
pulled along by Tracktenberg's charm and the interesting thing they
do in this movie of taking Michelle Trachtenberg and having

(10:18):
her be in a friend group of all guys, but
all the guys just see her as you know, their
buddies twin and sees her as a guy, and don't
see her as a girl, And a lot of the
comedy lends from that, and she plays it very.

Speaker 3 (10:35):
Well, the idea that the movie is daring the other
characters to objectify her as she would be in any
other movie like this, and yet they don't because one
is her twin brother and the other two see her
as a guy, refer to her as dude all the time,
like just they just haven't even registered that she has
sexuality at all, because they just see her as a guy,

(10:56):
which you know, as Cargilles alluding to, really undercuts the
possibility of anything leering or gross or you know, exploitative
about this character, and we just kind of focus on
how funny she is, and it's it's a great sort
of end around that. And I gotta say, I'm gonna
go way out on a dangerous limb here, cargo. Euro
Trip is a better European vacation movie than European Vacation.

Speaker 2 (11:21):
That is a bold statement. And I will ask where
the lie is. There's no lie there, Like you know this,
this is one of those movies that I think if
you had said that in two thousand and four, people
would give you the finger. They you know, leave leave
lots of spicy comments in the comment section is what
they would do.

Speaker 3 (11:41):
And they would take a shit in their Abercrombie and
Fits shopping bag and let light it on fire and
set it on my porch.

Speaker 2 (11:47):
Yeah, but now here we are twenty one years later,
the movie still holds up. The movie still gets quoted.
You know. It's that song is still a fucking banger,
And it's one of those that you mentioned euro Trip
and people light up like it's one of those that
people have all come around to. I mean, I positively
reviewed it when it came out. I walked out of

(12:08):
that screening. I walked into that screening thinking it was
going to be just like all the other obscene comedies
of the time, and the only one I liked at
the time was the one making fun of them, which
was not another teen movie. And this is the one that,
you know, like, oh, this is legitimately funny, Like this
isn't you know, this isn't a dog, you know, ejaculating

(12:30):
into donuts. This is you know, has some real comedy
to it and is doing the you know, the sex romp,
you know, the college sex romp movie, but making fun
of the teen college sex romp movie at all the
same time, in all the same beats, you know, the

(12:50):
nude beat scene here is fucking hilarious and it hangs
a lot of dong.

Speaker 3 (12:56):
I wasn't sure immediately what movie you referencing. So there
was a part of me that thought dogs ejaculating into
donuts was just a common industry expression for a.

Speaker 4 (13:07):
Certain type of movie.

Speaker 3 (13:08):
And I was like, well, Cargo, I mean, really, what
is a dog ejaculating.

Speaker 4 (13:11):
Into a donut? Uh?

Speaker 3 (13:13):
Van Wilder, I'm not realizing that I have not seen
Van Wilder, because that just sounded like you turning a
phrase that I wish had not been turned.

Speaker 1 (13:27):
Like.

Speaker 3 (13:28):
You know, the British say the dog's bollocks when they
mean something is good. The British also say a dog
ejaculating into a donut? Is that what's happening right now?
Did he spend too much time in other countries?

Speaker 4 (13:37):
I don't know what's happening.

Speaker 3 (13:38):
Apparently, I just need to to consult Van Wilder to
figure out the origin of this expression.

Speaker 2 (13:44):
You need a little you need a little more Ryan
Reynolds in your life.

Speaker 4 (13:47):
That threw me for such a fucking loop. I was like,
what is it? Sorry, what's going on?

Speaker 2 (13:53):
Car? It's sallow one hundred twenty days in Solomon, don't
worry about it.

Speaker 3 (13:59):
Well, that's an entirely different cup of pudding. What what
are we doing? Let's not use those expressions at all. So,
by the way, that's gonna sit with me for a while.
The plot of euro Trip revolves around Scott Scottie Thomas,
who is just graduated from high school and his beautiful
girlfriend has broken up with him. His beautiful girlfriend in

(14:22):
this movie is Fiona is played by Kristin Krook. I
believe is how you pronounced her life?

Speaker 2 (14:29):
Yeah? Yeah, who used to be Lana on.

Speaker 3 (14:34):
Smallville, Yeah, which was a show I was literally discovering
at the same like my first year of college at
the same time this movie came out. So I'm just
gonna say that it was a very important moment for
me as a fan of the show Smallville, to Seelna
Lang grinding in a schoolgirl outfit, Like, there were a
lot of windows in my brain and probably on my

(14:56):
computer screen as well, that we're opening up wildly and we.

Speaker 2 (15:00):
Were being generous there. You know. We should also point
out the Christian Kreek was also chun Lee in the
Legend of chun Lee.

Speaker 3 (15:08):
Well, but that's an ejaculated doughnut of a whole different
color like we that is, well, a whole different race,
full different flavor. Yeah Star Group.

Speaker 4 (15:24):
Oh yeah, so she was also in Donut.

Speaker 2 (15:26):
Really fucked with you, man, just I just I have
not thrown you off your game this bad in years.

Speaker 3 (15:32):
Yeah, U cream pied my brain is essentially what happened.
And I don't love that. I don't love saying that,
but it's it is what actually happened here. So Scotty,
his longtime girlfriend breaks up with him, and he and
his buddy go to a party. He and his buddy
Cooper go to this party where they're just trying to
blow off steam and wouldn't you know it, This is

(15:53):
where we are introduced to Scotty doesn't know it isn't
fact banger, literally because it is. It's a song where
Matt Damon's band, Matt Damon is singing about how many
times he has stooped Fiona while she was dating Scotty.
That's the entire point of the song. And it is
a really great song. It is super catchy. But my

(16:15):
favorite part about this song, Cargo is I love that
as they travel through Europe, this song follows them around
in different iterations and genres like it's the long fucking goodbye.

Speaker 2 (16:25):
Yep, and it's it's it's the long joke and it works.
There's a great moment towards the end where one of
the characters has it as their ringtone on their phone
and just lets it play a little while everybody starts
grooving to it. So good, like yeah, no, I mean.
The thing is one of the things about this movie
that I think really does work is that at this

(16:49):
time there was the rise of it of the improv
comedy and the problem with the improv comedy is that
it's very hard to get good payoffs for long term jokes.
You know, it's all about the scene and what's funny
at the time, and those movies cut together like that

(17:09):
that it feels like you could you know what. That
was one of my complaints about Ghostbusters twenty sixteen was that,
you know, because it was made as an improv comedy movie,
you couldn't have any of the long jokes that you had,
you know, the joke threads that you had in a
well structured film like Ghostbusters. And this is one of

(17:30):
those movies that clearly was written and was working from
a script, and the jokes were baked in and woven
through the entire movie, and so you get these great
running gags like Scott he doesn't know, like this isn't
where I parked my car, which gets funnier and funnier

(17:50):
as the years go on, and you have those those
big kind of payoffs over the course of the movie,
and I think, I think it does work. And Scott
he doesn't know, of course, is the big one sidebar.

Speaker 3 (18:10):
For no other reason other than it had been a
few months inside watching them, I went back literally this
weekend and watched the Three Flavors Cornetto trilogy again, and
I'm starting to wonder, based on what you're saying, is
Edgar Wright sort of the complete antithesis of improv comedy
because his scripts are so painstakingly sowing the seeds and

(18:31):
burying the guns for payoffs later and everything means two
things at the setup, Like the setup is so baked
into the narrative that you don't even know their setups
until they pay off. Like would that be considered the
opposite of improv comedy?

Speaker 2 (18:45):
And like, I, you know, I've known Edgar a long time,
And after I sat down and had a couple drinks
with him and Robert Rodriguez one night and we walked
through his process of writing Sean of the Dad. And
one of the interesting things was he spent an entire
day just writing the speech about what we're gonna do

(19:06):
with the day. You know, we're gonna have a few
Bloody Mary's. We're gonna you know, because he was structuring
out here's how we get you know, we're gonna have
this joke that people aren't gonna realize is a joke
that I'm gonna lay out what our day, our dream
day is and then it's gonna be exactly that in
all the worst way. The Bloody Mary is actually a
zombie with an ame antag named Mary. Like it's it's

(19:27):
all that all the way through, so that when you
watch the movie again you find this total other joke.
You don't know what's sitting there, And yeah, no, I
learned a lot about you know, you know, structure from
Edgar in that way, because he really does write to
pay off, and so yeah, he's he's the antithesis of

(19:47):
a Paul Peek.

Speaker 4 (19:49):
It almost seems like he's writing.

Speaker 3 (19:51):
Edgar's writing his scripts in reverse, like you would have
to know the payoff in order to so effectively plant
a seed like that, like I was discovering. Can tell
you how many times I've seen those three movies, and
just this weekend was noticing things in both Hot Fuzz
and The World's End where I was like, oh, I
didn't catch that set up before. So it's like, it's
just it's baffling to me how well those things pay off.

(20:13):
And you're right, if you're letting the actors improvise everything,
it's harder to stay connected to the things that like
the a to B two C to get to the
payoff to the joke that we set up at the
very beginning.

Speaker 4 (20:25):
So yeah, I that's that's really interesting.

Speaker 2 (20:28):
Stargrove, stargargo. And speaking of Barry jokes, there's one running
gag in here that and if any of you out
there worked on the movie or knows the answer to this,
let me know. But I recall it being a well
known thing twenty one years ago that the Happy Juice

(20:48):
commercial in this was actually shot by Eli Roth. And
then that was part of the Burry joke, was that
they hired Eli to shoot a European lesbian or juice
commercial and it's literally just the static shot of two
naked porn stars making now, so that did not turn
up in the research, and my research team is very thorough,

(21:12):
and I went back through it even and checked a
couple places, and I have not seen that particular nugget emerge.

Speaker 3 (21:19):
Whether it could still be true, but if it is,
it is a fairly closely guarded industry secret.

Speaker 2 (21:26):
Well, I googled it this afternoon to double check and
found the buried joke of Happy Juice in a inter
cool News review in Harry Old Hostile and that this was.
This is who I knew it from back in the day,
because Eli was very close with us at in Ocol

(21:47):
News at that time, because we had you know, I
just was talking to the producer of the movie the
other day. How you know who produced it? And how
you know that movie almost got completely ignored at the festival.
Was at everybody had already flown home, and then Hated
Coole News wrote really good things about this, this movie hostile,
it's the movie to watch, and they ended up having

(22:07):
to take over three adjacent theaters to show the movie
because so many executives came back in town to find
out what the hell this Cabin Feaver was. And so
after that, uh you know, we had a big aint
of cool news screening of Cabin Feaver. And then Eli
was a friend of the family and would come to
town and show his his movies in town. And so

(22:28):
that's how we knew about Happy Juice.

Speaker 4 (22:30):
All right, Well, keep chugging that Happy Juice. I mean
it made me happy. I don't know, I uh, I'm
I'm I'm happy with that scene. I don't know about
anybody else.

Speaker 2 (22:42):
After these messages, We'll be right back.

Speaker 5 (22:44):
Pictures sarious, curious fine Rosie O'Donnells and Incredi sing Michelle
Trechtenberg from The First Motion Picture Problem Look abode a.

Speaker 1 (22:55):
Yet status.

Speaker 5 (23:01):
This summer, You see the world through the eyes of
a spine. Carry It The Spy Rated celebrate Nickelodeon's first
movie this July at theaters everywhere.

Speaker 3 (23:16):
So during the course of this party, being completely humiliated
by the song Scotty doesn't know, Scotty goes back to
his house and he's had this long time German penpal
ever since he was younger and started taking German in school,
and they named Mike, and they've been talking back and forth,
and he and Mike had become very close, and Cooper

(23:37):
being Cooper, warned him that at some point Mike is
going to try and hit on him and lure him places,
et cetera, et cetera. And Mike writes him that, you know,
very sorry to hear about your girlfriend. You know, I'd
love to come to America and meet you, and Scotty,
being inebriated and having Cooper's words in his head, writes
a very like you know, get away from me, don't

(23:58):
ever speak to me again type of email. And in
the morning it's his little brother that informs him that
the name is not Mike, it is a German named
mee Kay, and it is a girl. And in fact,
the picture that he's had the whole time, assuming that
Mike and Jan and the man in the picture is
his pen pal, in fact it's Jan, the brother of Meek,
who is his actual pen pal, and he realizes he

(24:21):
just blew his shot with another absolutely gorgeous woman. And
it's at this point that he and Coop decide they're
gonna go to Europe. They're gonna go to Berlin. They're
gonna find Meek and explain all this, and he's going.

Speaker 4 (24:31):
To be with her.

Speaker 3 (24:32):
And during the course of their trip, they connect with
their friends, the twins in fact played by Michelle Trachtenberg
and the other actor's name is Escaping Me Here Travis Wester,
Jamie and Jenny, and they meet up with them because
they are also backpacking their way through Europe, and they
go on this adventure, this series of misadventures, just trying

(24:55):
to get to Berlin for this meetup. So that's the setup,
and from there we have a series of I don't know,
the most amazing cameos ever.

Speaker 2 (25:08):
Not necessarily but up there, it's it's up there, man.

Speaker 3 (25:12):
I mean we mentioned Matt Damon at a certain and
you know what, honestly, you could frame this entire movie
like I could literally go through the plot of this
movie just going cameo by cameo, because every cameo is
another great set up, another great set piece. So we've
got Matt Damon and then we've got Vinnie Jones in
the stuntiest bit of stunt casting ever because they got

(25:33):
Vinnie Jones to play get this a soccer hooligain.

Speaker 2 (25:37):
And for those of you that don't know, because Vinnie Jones,
you know, had a blinking you missic career. He was
everywhere for about four years yep, and then just stopped,
you know, appearing and stuff. But he was everywhere for
a while. And what he was famous for that got
him into acting was he was a famous football player.

Speaker 4 (25:58):
Yep.

Speaker 3 (25:59):
He holds the actually for being the quickest player ever
to be yellow carded in a game of professional soccer.
He was hit with a yellow card three seconds into
a game. So not only was he a professional soccer player,
he was something of a of a hooligan on the
pitch as well as off.

Speaker 2 (26:16):
Yeah, yeah, which is how he got well known. Yeah,
so yeah.

Speaker 3 (26:22):
And has never been, by the way, uh, never actually
been a fan of Manchester United, which is hilarious that
that's who his, he's him and all the hooligans are
MANU fans in this when in fact he played for
Wimbledon in the Premier League and is was not and
is still not a Manchester United fan.

Speaker 2 (26:39):
Well, and that pro and that plays. I think that
plays into the bit because they you know, they're they're
asked to play the fight song and they start singing
My Baby Takes the Morning Train by Sheena Easton, and
it turns out there right.

Speaker 3 (26:52):
So I want to talk about this sidebar. This is
one of the things that I actually think makes the
movie age really well. It seems like this wild off
the wall joke. It turns out that both in you know,
European soccer and American football, it's all the funnier since

(27:18):
these football clubs often have actual, like soft rock anthems
that they either officially adopt or just the fans kind
of unofficially adopt, like, for example, my brother is a
huge fan of Liverpool, and Liverpool's like official song is
You'll Never Walk Alone and then like there's another soccer

(27:39):
team who's official anthem official the fans have adopted it
is forever blowing bubbles. And then you have teams like
the Buffalo Bills in American football who all of their
fans get together and sing mister Bright's side by the Killers.
Like it's actually kind of a thing, like these aren't
the songs that are gonna appear on jock Jams because
they're not the big hype, but they get these fans hyped.

Speaker 2 (28:03):
Yeah, the uh it's I was surprised to find out that,
you know what the number one song in the world
for a fight song is at multiple sporting events across
the world. I don't know, seven Nation Army.

Speaker 4 (28:17):
Okay, well, yeah, to be fair.

Speaker 2 (28:21):
To be fair to me that one slaps.

Speaker 3 (28:24):
Jack White wrote a song that is probably now on
every edition of the chock Jams. Because you're right, that
has been used and reused in all kinds of different
formats and is I mean, it is just kind of
naturally lends itself to like we're gonna slowly build up,
we're gonna repeat something, We're gonna be jumping up and
down singing it.

Speaker 4 (28:41):
Uh.

Speaker 3 (28:41):
But the fact is that these songs, these these football
clubs using uh it's by the way, it's west Ham
United that uses I'm forever blowing bubbles, using songs that
you wouldn't think on the surface are going to be
like the big, rowdy sports anthems, but in truth are
so when you what, I literally had to look up
Cargill to make sure that I had to look up

(29:03):
Comic Cargill to make sure that Manchester United's actual anthem
song wasn't My Baby Takes the Morning Train, because I
had serious doubts. That's where we are now, and that's
what makes this joke so good. And they yeah, they're
they're in this bar, they're they're like, if you're a
real man United fan, sing the anthem, and they sing

(29:24):
My Baby Takes the Morning Train, which, at a stroke
of luck is their song. So they get roped onto
this bus. They're going to Paris for the big match.
The big matchic is Manchester United and Paris, and uh
from there, Rob Schneider enters the picture in this cameo
as a human robot sort of street performer.

Speaker 4 (29:43):
One of the many many lines of.

Speaker 3 (29:46):
This movie, Cargill that, ever since I saw it for
the first time, probably daily I use in my lexicon. Yeah,
is don't they pause on the robo raml like when
he gets into that fight with Robsteider over who's the better?

Speaker 4 (30:00):
Like fake robot is so good?

Speaker 2 (30:03):
Is this the best grub Schneider cameo.

Speaker 3 (30:06):
I mean, yeah, I like it better than you can
do it, Like I just think you can do It's
a little one dimensional compared to the human robot who
does an entire fight sequence with Scotty in this movie
To the Strains by the way of Two Tribes go
to War by Frankie goes to Hollywood. So yeah, yeah,

(30:26):
I think this might be. It's high up there for
me at least.

Speaker 2 (30:30):
Yeah, No, it's It's one of those that I always
forget he's in it until it's like, oh right, right,
he sucks, but he's.

Speaker 4 (30:37):
Really good here, Yes, exactly.

Speaker 2 (30:42):
He's just not a good human.

Speaker 3 (30:44):
This is not it's it's unfortunate, but you know what,
it's a role where he doesn't say anything except a
couple of lines in French, so it's fine.

Speaker 4 (30:51):
And from there we get on.

Speaker 3 (30:52):
A train, and on the train we are we're introduced
to the most lascivious Italian in any film, Fred armisen.

Speaker 2 (31:02):
Yep, oh, miscuozy, miscuoozy.

Speaker 3 (31:05):
Every day if I'm walking past someone in the hall
and I need to get by, Oh, Misscoozy, Miscoozycoozy daily,
Cargill daily, I am quoting this movie.

Speaker 2 (31:14):
It's so no doubt. I mean, that's the thing is
it's one of those movies that was considered a nothing
burger at the time and that has just kind of
remained and inserted itself in the pop culture. And it
was like it was one of those things that I
knew that no one in the junk food cinema audience
would be like, really, euro Trip, Really we're talking about that, Like,

(31:35):
oh no, I love euro Trip. I haven't watched that
movie in twenty years and we'll watch that again. Yeah,
And I think it is.

Speaker 3 (31:43):
Honestly, the two biggest strengths of this movie are Michelle
Trachtenberger is Jenny, who is constantly throughout the movie like
shown to be this absolute knockout and yet nobody in
her group is willing to acknowledge it, which is the
great running gag. And then Jacob Pitts as Cooper, like
is so damn charismatic, Like he is equal parts complete

(32:05):
shittheel asshole and then at the same time lovable sidekick,
and he finds that balance and he knows exactly when
to play each one to the point that he was,
like from the very first viewing, he was my favorite character.

Speaker 4 (32:16):
I think, Oh, he and.

Speaker 3 (32:17):
Michelle Trachtenberg far outshine Scottie and and Jamie like they
like the whole movie could have just been about them,
and I would have been just as invested.

Speaker 2 (32:26):
Well, the interesting thing about Jamie is the Jamie's story
is just kind of a juxtaposition. It's not very funny,
but it's one of those things that makes the rest
of the movie funny, which is here, we've got, you know,
a bunch of people on a sex quest across Europe. Essentially,
you have you know, you know, Jenny really wants to

(32:48):
you know, meet and be seduced by a hot European guy.
You've got you know, our side character who is trying
to get laid every chance he fucking gets. And then
you've got you know, Scott who's going to try to
hook up with this this friend of his and fix things.
But Jamie is off having his own sex adventure. He's

(33:10):
just constantly running into chicks who want to bang him,
and it's just like, Okay, you.

Speaker 4 (33:16):
Know, I'm starting to understand something.

Speaker 3 (33:19):
If Jacob Pitts is this movie's Willie Ames, Travis Wester
is this movie's DJ Qualls.

Speaker 2 (33:26):
It's exactly who he is.

Speaker 4 (33:27):
Yeah, it's cree.

Speaker 2 (33:29):
DJ Qualls is just a little too old at this
time to take this role the movie.

Speaker 3 (33:33):
The movie had a completely different title. It was Ugly Americans,
and the producers changed it so that fans of road
Trip would want to see it, so literally tricking people
into thinking he was a sequel. But now I'm starting
to realize it has a lot more in common with
road Trip than just the title, Like, because this is
absolutely the DJ Qualls character.

Speaker 4 (33:52):
From road Trip.

Speaker 3 (33:53):
Yeah, just a little more organized and a little more
anal retentive mm hmm yeah, because he's the whole thing
is he wants to see all the sights in Europe
and you've got to follow the guide book, and he's like,
he's that like type of American tourists.

Speaker 2 (34:06):
I would, I would. I mean, it is unapologetically a
knockoff of road Trip, except that it's so much fucking
better than road Trip.

Speaker 3 (34:13):
So much, you know what, I think it is Cargill
and you know, I people, I feel like there's gonna
be a small contention that want of Chrismas find me
for this. I think the lack of Tom Green actually
benefits this movie.

Speaker 4 (34:24):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (34:25):
I mean, I think the lack of Tom Green it
makes almost every even be better.

Speaker 4 (34:28):
You know what.

Speaker 3 (34:29):
I think we fingered the problem here, Cargo. I think
we finally finally put our fingers in.

Speaker 2 (34:33):
The Juddy My sausages.

Speaker 4 (34:38):
That was it.

Speaker 3 (34:39):
You want to talk about a guy like Vinnie Jones
who was popular for a very hot second, and I
still can't figure out why, Like Vinnie Jones, I get
Tom Green.

Speaker 4 (34:47):
I do not understand.

Speaker 2 (34:49):
The most painful three minutes of media I think I've
ever watched is the opening of the Saturday Night Live
he hosted, where he dressed up as an eagle and
he's like flying around the audience licking faces. It's just
the weirdest, like, what the fuck is going on? And
who thought this was a good idea? And yeah he

(35:10):
was he was around uh and was doing you know,
he would MTV propelled him and then he you know,
he married Drew Barrymore for like six weeks and then
the industry is like, huh, I don't think we have
a place for this guy, and he went okay, going
back to Canada.

Speaker 3 (35:28):
If ever, there was an artist who made me understand
that Andy Kaufman was in fact a genius, it was
someone like Tom Green who proved that you can't just
do what Andy Kaufman tried like did and it work again,
do you know what I mean? Like, he proved that
there was artistry and what Andy Kufan did because he
kept fucking it up, like he kept trying to be

(35:49):
like the gross out Andy Kaufman and it never fucking worked.

Speaker 2 (35:52):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (35:53):
Yeah, I'm not a Tom Green fan if you can't tell.
So he did not come up in our Gocnut Yourself
series for a reason. But yeah, there are a lot
of similarities I'm realizing. I also love that there is
a fantasy sequence where Scotty starts fantasizing about having sex
with with Mika and David Hasselhoff is providing the soundtrack

(36:13):
for it yep, which is spot on because they're literally
on their way to Berlin and Germany is inexplicably where
David Hasselhoff is a pop singer, so that's hey, good
for you man, you found your you found your niche.
But also, I really we talk about this a lot
on the show Cargo. I really like the soundtrack of

(36:35):
this movie.

Speaker 2 (36:35):
Oh the soundtrack is fucking incredible.

Speaker 3 (36:38):
Like even outside of Scotty doesn't know, there's so much,
like even covered.

Speaker 2 (36:44):
So many great needle drops like My Generation.

Speaker 3 (36:47):
Yeah, yeah, there's the French cover of My Generation. There's
the Goldfinger cover of ninety nine Red Balloons, and then
you have like stuff that was big on the top
forty at the time, like are you Gonna Be My Girl?

Speaker 4 (36:58):
By Jet was on there.

Speaker 3 (37:00):
Yeah, there's just a lot of really good music on
here on the soundtrack.

Speaker 4 (37:06):
I really really dig this soundtrack.

Speaker 2 (37:07):
It's a fun fun movie to watch, not just because
it's funny, but because yeah, that that the energy of
the music really moves this movie along.

Speaker 3 (37:18):
And then from there, I think this is where we
get to Amsterdam or do we are we in broad
us Lava before Amsterdam?

Speaker 2 (37:24):
I can't know we're in broad us Lava before Amsterdam.

Speaker 3 (37:27):
No, no, no, because they get robbed in Amsterdam and
that's why they end up and brought us Lava.

Speaker 2 (37:31):
Yes, oh no, no, no, Okay, you're you're right, I've got
it backwards.

Speaker 3 (37:34):
So yeah, we end up in Amsterdam, and this is
of course where Cooper is on cloud nine because he
thinks he's going to go to all the kinkiest sex
clubs and he doesdam and he does.

Speaker 2 (37:43):
He goes to Vendor SX at his own peril. And
this is where we meet Lucy Lawless.

Speaker 3 (37:50):
Lucy Lawless as a dominatrix who is just like that
had to be somebody's incognito search at some point, you know,
And it's just and he is not prepared for the
level of for the level of kink. I think when
Hans and Gruber, the two male assistants show.

Speaker 2 (38:09):
Up, when they pull out the tri prong danal intruder,
that moment is just it has a laser sight.

Speaker 4 (38:16):
It just it has a laser sight on it.

Speaker 2 (38:19):
Well, you don't want to miss.

Speaker 3 (38:20):
How do you not know where that's going that you
need a laser sight? Like that's going straight into the donut.
We don't need the laser site this shit.

Speaker 2 (38:29):
Hey, look, don't don't kink shame, man. Some of us
really like lasers.

Speaker 3 (38:36):
Okay, I'm really just engineering shaming more than anything else.
I don't think that that serves an appropriate function. That's
all I'm saying. And then yeah, you're right. Well, all
this is going on over here is Jamie like just
impressing this girl who works at a camera store and
then and you know, getting his rocks off while ddrich
Bader shows up with like two lines to steal all

(38:57):
of his money while he couldn't possibly notice.

Speaker 2 (39:01):
You gotta love a good diadrich Bader cameo like he's
just in and he's out and and it's like Steve
Bader doing it. He's doing what he always does. Uh,
he's being great. Yeah, and he gets robbed.

Speaker 3 (39:16):
He gets robbed. He could not care less. It's such
a great scene. But now they're stuck. They're trying to
get to Berlin. They're hitchhiking. They hitchhike with a man,
a truck driver who speaks German. They think he's going
to Berlin, he's actually going to Broadis Lava. Uh. And
it's here, by the way that we run into Vinnie
Jones's Snatch co Star Raids or Beasia, who you've seen

(39:37):
in a thousand fucking things.

Speaker 4 (39:38):
He was in like Mission Impossible too.

Speaker 3 (39:40):
He was in one of the take in movies, Like
he's just like, if you need to go to scary Russian,
it's usually this guy. But in this movie, he's just
a dude that lives in Broadis Lava who just discovered
Miami bias, Like it just came over to them, so
he thinks it's the greatest show ever. Like, I love
the idea that he's just perpetually stuck in the eighties,
Like he pulls up in the.

Speaker 4 (39:59):
Car and he's like, hey, where is the beef?

Speaker 3 (40:01):
Like that's my favorite type of character, person who is
just perpetually stuck in the eighties.

Speaker 4 (40:07):
Yep, for reasons that you could probably guess.

Speaker 3 (40:10):
And then, of course here's where we start to get
a little bit zany with the comedy, where you know,
they have a dollar eighty three American and they're able
to buy basically the entire town with it. We're making
our exchange rate jokes, which is again just a little
bit off the wall.

Speaker 4 (40:25):
I like that.

Speaker 3 (40:26):
And this is also where they go to the club
and they're drinking absinthe and I meant.

Speaker 2 (40:31):
To look up, Oh here's a fun fact.

Speaker 4 (40:32):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you made out.

Speaker 2 (40:33):
With your sister.

Speaker 4 (40:40):
Yeah, Jamie and.

Speaker 3 (40:43):
Jamie and Jenny end up making out and they quickly
realize it and they're they're just like completely horrified.

Speaker 4 (40:51):
But then then like.

Speaker 3 (40:53):
Coop does the thing where he takes Jamie's guidebook and
he's like broadus Lava is known for this and that.
Oh and here's a fun fact, you made out with
your sister.

Speaker 2 (41:01):
I mean again with the long play jokes. Yes, they
set up from the beginning that these are the worst
twins ever, and they keep paying off that they are
the worst twins ever.

Speaker 3 (41:12):
They don't know anything about the other one. They don't
know any of their favorite anythings. You know, they're very
different personality wise. And yeah, apparently they also make out
with each other when they're drunk. So again, worst twins ever.
So yeah, they're coming off of that, and I think
from here is where we finally get to We finally
get to Berlin, only to find out that Mika has

(41:35):
left for a summer tour group in Rome. She's going
to Rome for the summer. So they decide that they're
going to muster up everything they've got and go to
Rome to find her. And this is where Jamie steps
up and sells that precious camera of his so that
they have the money to get this done, so he
really has his hero moment here, which I like, yeah, yeah,
and then the hijinks and Vatican City bup. Oh my god,

(42:01):
it's so funny. When you hear the bell, it means
the Pope has died. When you see the white smoke,
they've elected a new one. And of course Scotty and
Coop managed to get themselves into a scenario where they
both pull the rope for the bell and set something
on fire so that it gets thrown into the fireplace
and white smoke billows out.

Speaker 2 (42:17):
You're a Trip double feature with Conclave win.

Speaker 3 (42:20):
Yes, euro Trip and Conclave are pretty much the same movie,
is what we're trying to say. Also, this is the
part of the movie that feels like it was written
for Rowan Atkinson, Do you know what I mean? Like,
just the amount of things that have to go wrong,
the amount of things you have to trip and fall
into so that you get mistaken for the new Pope
is straight up bean town.

Speaker 4 (42:39):
And I'm here for it, I you know what.

Speaker 3 (42:41):
Not so much of the movie, which is one that
weirdly my brother and I quote.

Speaker 4 (42:45):
All the time.

Speaker 3 (42:45):
It's a poster like I don't love the movie by
any stretch of the imagination. But the Mister Bean like
television stuff I actually find very funny. I don't know
what that says about me, but uh, I appreciated this
segment in Vatican City because it reminded me so much
of Mister Bean's comedy.

Speaker 2 (43:03):
Yeah. Yeah, it's it's very slapstick in a way that
the rest of the movie doesn't quite get. And I'm
a quick quick sidebar. Which version of the movie did
you watch tonight or recently? But when you sat down

(43:25):
to watch this again, what version did you watch?

Speaker 4 (43:28):
Okay? So I would imagine it was the theatrical cut.

Speaker 2 (43:31):
Okay, because I years ago, and I don't know why,
but years ago I ended up buying the unrated version.
So when I sat down to watch it, and I'm like, oh,
I guess I watch the unrated version, it's the one
I own. And I don't know why I bought the
unrated version. I was never one of those guys it's like, oh,
it's an unrated version, but for some reason I would

(43:55):
when we ended up renting it. I don't know. Maybe
I was reviewing it at the time. I don't find no,
I don't remember.

Speaker 4 (44:00):
Well, it was all the rage man like that two
thousand and three two thousand and four era.

Speaker 3 (44:03):
Like every comedy had a bigger, longer extended like and
usually a dirty name, you know whatever, like.

Speaker 4 (44:09):
Yeah, unrated, cut extremely and that's whatever.

Speaker 2 (44:12):
I mean, that's and that changed. And the reason that
changed was the entire market changed was that was back
for the DVD sales because if you made an unrated version,
you could double dip with with rental stores, and if
you put it out later, then they buy it later,
giving you another burst of income from the movie.

Speaker 1 (44:34):
Uh.

Speaker 2 (44:34):
So you do that and they would often like I mean,
and they were doing this as late as twenty twelve,
because that was a conversation we had with the Sinister
DVD where they were like, Hey, is there anything you
left on the cutting room floor that we could put
back into the movie to make it the unrated version,
because all it takes to make it unrated is you

(44:55):
just don't send that version through the MPAA and you
can call it unrated, doesn't You don't actually have to
add anything that does you know, like what this does?

Speaker 4 (45:05):
Uh?

Speaker 2 (45:05):
The unrated version of euro Trip has a lot more
boobs and dick. There's a lot of swing and dong
in uh in the unrated version at the Nude Beach
in particular. Uh, but uh the U But yeah, that
was the thing they always did, was they would they
would want you to, you know, have these other things.

(45:26):
And also they were really great for sell through at Walmart,
So people who had too many late fees at the
video store would just go and buy their movies and
then often go and sell them to uh if they
didn't like them, they would end up selling them to
pawn shops and the like. So uh, that was it
was a really good way to make a lot of

(45:47):
money off very little content. And so it's very clear
that they shot versions of these scenes that had nudity
just so that they could make the unrated version of this,
which I'm sure was part of the studio demand at
the time.

Speaker 3 (46:02):
And you could, as you said, just say unrated people
assume salacious content is within, but it really just means
you didn't submit it. So it could be just two
extra minutes of dialogue and it could be unrated.

Speaker 2 (46:14):
But this one they went for it. There's there's plenty there,
uh and uh, there's there's plenty of nudity.

Speaker 3 (46:21):
And down Now, maybe this is the appropriate place to
talk about the scene that was nixed by the studio. Yeah,
and replaced with the club vandersex scene with Lucy Lawless.
So I okay, so the scene that was nixed by
the producers was referred to as the and Frank sex scene.

Speaker 2 (46:43):
Oh no, I do not know this story.

Speaker 3 (46:46):
Okay, So it was it's it's never filmed, but it
wasn't the script. Uh And if you read the script
on the original DVD, which was one of the DVD extras,
because again the other thing was not just unrated cuts,
but like Super Doubles Edition with thirty seven hours of
you know, extra content, which I'm not shitting on. Don't
get me wrong, I still collect physical media. I still

(47:07):
like having bonus content. But yeah, there were some things
that were packed in there just to pad out the
number of special features that maybe didn't need to be there.
In most cases, you could read the script on the
DVD apparently, and it's in there, so it was never filmed.
But in this scene, Cooper finds a flyer for a
sex club. It's obviously an Amsterdam. They find a flyer

(47:29):
for a sex club called the Secret Room, and he
thinks that it's the Anne Frank House. Like, he finds
the Ann Frank House and thinks that it's the club,
so he asks the person at the door, is this
the secret room, and they go yes, it will change
your life. Clearly a misunderstanding. So he sees a big
line outside. He's like, oh, absolutely, this has to be
the place, look at the line. He doesn't want to wait,
so he goes through a back door. He discovers a

(47:51):
small room with a small bed, thinks that he's in
the secret room sex club, gets naked and waits for
a sex worker to arrive. But he then finds himself
exposed in front of a tour group. And to make
matters worse, and Frank's only living relative is part of
that tour group. So all of this is already bad, right,

(48:12):
But then apparently as soon as he's discovered he he
he reaches for a small mannequin to cover himself, and
obviously the small mannequin is modeled after a famous resident
of that room, so he would.

Speaker 2 (48:25):
She whilch He perhaps might have been a believer.

Speaker 4 (48:30):
Wow, that is yes, I do Yes, I hate that.
I know that story. This is the yes. If this
scene had.

Speaker 3 (48:38):
Been filmed, Bieber would have officially been the second worst
guest of the Ann Frank House. You're right, uh but yeah,
so here he is like literally covering his dick with
a mannequin that was made to look like Ann Frank
in the Anne Frank House. So the producers were like,
why not you just do like a sex club instead,
like an actual sex club.

Speaker 4 (48:57):
That's maybe I don't know, maybe not and Frank House.

Speaker 3 (49:01):
And so they relented, and I'm I'm gonna say this
right here now, I love how well this movie is aged,
and I'm super glad this scene is not it.

Speaker 2 (49:09):
Yeah, yeah, no, I mean that's that would have been
one of those those line crosses where instead here, you know,
the jokes, the jokes really are about how dipshitty our
characters are as opposed to, uh, just making fun of
or really embarrassing other cultures. Absolutely, after these messages, we'll

(49:32):
be right back.

Speaker 4 (49:33):
You are not going to believe who was just in here?

Speaker 2 (49:35):
The girl he always wanted? Are you going to Kyle's
party tonight? A nice you never expected?

Speaker 4 (49:40):
You're even a trigger and you're liking you?

Speaker 2 (49:42):
Is that your car?

Speaker 4 (49:43):
Nobody stopped me when I drove it off a lot.

Speaker 2 (49:46):
You will become the moment too. They're there, Come over
here and bring your limbs as close to mine as
possible without touching truth.

Speaker 4 (49:54):
All right, you messing with me right now?

Speaker 2 (49:56):
They changed everything. Wo take me home tonight. Read it
all now play.

Speaker 3 (50:05):
And by the way, we haven't mentioned this yet, but
there's a very good reason why Matt Damon is in
this movie. Like I know at the time, it probably
seemed insane because Matt Damon stock was continuing to rise
at this point, that he would just show up for
this small cameo. But the screenwriters of this movie, one
of them who also directed the movie, were his college friends.
And this entire movie, about ninety five percent of it,

(50:27):
was shot in Prague, and he happened to be there
shooting The Born Supremacy. So just like everything kind of
lined up for him to film that scene for the movie.
But I know at the time, I was like, what
the fuck is Matt Damon doing in this movie? Like
I just could not wrap my head around at the times,
like this seems insane right now.

Speaker 2 (50:44):
And what he was doing in the movie was Christian
Krog was fucking Matt Dame this.

Speaker 4 (50:50):
Why did't Jimmy Kimmel jump on that bit, just pulling.

Speaker 2 (50:53):
Out all the deep cuts this today.

Speaker 4 (50:55):
Wow, man, you are really on a roll. And I
appreciate that about you.

Speaker 2 (50:58):
I'm a is that's what you appreciate about me. It
is h yeah, no, this is I'm as two thousand
and six as as this movie.

Speaker 3 (51:09):
If you start hearing the Black Eyed peas Cargo put
a wallet under your tongue, it means that you have
succumbed to two thousand and six.

Speaker 4 (51:16):
It's all.

Speaker 2 (51:16):
It's get it started in here, because they canceled the
first version of this song.

Speaker 3 (51:21):
Yeah, and we do, unfortunately get one utterance of that
particular word in this movie.

Speaker 2 (51:27):
But which you can't really like, you cannot lambast any
movie before twenty ten that does that. You know, it
just happened. It was, it was ubiquitous.

Speaker 3 (51:36):
It's also uttered by the character who is established to
be the biggest idiot in the movie. So it's I
don't think it's a tacit endorsement of that word necessarily,
So yeah, maybe just the opposite. By the way, the
person who directed this movie was one of the three writers,
and apparently the rule at the time, and Cargo maybe
can speak to more of this, was that only one

(51:58):
of them could be the credited director on this, so
they literally drew names out of a hat to see
which of the three writers were was also going to
be credited as the director, and it went to Jeff Schaeffer,
who actually is the creator of a show that I
really love, The League about the adult friends playing fantasy football,
that I really adore that show, So I was happy

(52:21):
to see that he was the director and one of
the three writers on this.

Speaker 2 (52:25):
Yeah, there's a The DGA is pretty wild in how
it does its credit attribution, you know. Famously, the big
famous story is Robert Rodriguez left the DGA because he
wanted to share credit with Frank Miller Brank Miller, Yeah,

(52:48):
on Sin City, and then they were like, no, no, no,
you have to if you are a directing duo, you
have to have always directed together. Cannot share credit with
another director on the on the film. And so he
thought that was bullshit and left the DGA. But yeah,

(53:09):
they also they have things about triple directors and things
like that, which is why you end up with groups
like Radio Silence. Who who directed Radio Silence? Radio Yeah,
and uh so, because that's the singular credit for the crew.

Speaker 4 (53:28):
And there's something like that also apply to the Cohen brothers, Like.

Speaker 2 (53:34):
Yeah, because they always directed together, you know, from the
get go, they always were co directors, so that they
when they joined the DGA, they were already credited that
way and they were able to keep crediting that way.

Speaker 3 (53:47):
Interesting, by the way, the cinematographer on this, this, this
really melted my brain. It was David Eggbee, who also
was the cinematographer on I don't Know, Mad Max for God,
Mad Max, Warlock, Fortress, Draggon, the Bruce Lee Story, Dragon Heart, Riddick,
like movies that we would absolutely talk about on Junk

(54:08):
Food Cinema if we haven't already.

Speaker 2 (54:09):
Yeah. No, it's just that's a hit list of Cargio
movies right there.

Speaker 4 (54:14):
Yeah, that is the take a Drink playlist right there?
Is what that is? Oh my god, so fucking oppressive.

Speaker 2 (54:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (54:22):
So it's at the Vatican that Scotty is finally able
to profess his love to me Kay, which immediately leads
to them having sex and a confessional which is just
just just too good to pass up, and basically they
go their separate ways.

Speaker 4 (54:38):
They're going to keep writing each other.

Speaker 3 (54:39):
There's clearly our relationship forming here, and then we jump
ahead to the next year, and the happy ending is
that Mikay is joining Scotty at college. They're going to
be roommates, she is transferred to an American college, and
also that now Coop and Jenny are a couple. He
finally realized that she was in act a girl, and

(55:01):
now they're together. And I love as much as I
love the way this movie wraps up, I also love
the fairy showing up again and just being like, this
happy ending is bullshit whatever, Like it's just I like
that because, yeah, there's probably a lot of suspension of
disbelief that has to go into buying this happy ending,
but I'm willing to do it. But I'm also appreciative
of a joke that calls that out a little bit. Yeah,

(55:24):
not taking itself too seriously.

Speaker 2 (55:25):
Not at all. It knows exactly what kind of movie
it is, and it ends that way. But yeah, no,
I think I do think it's really cute that those
characters end up together after having sex in the worst
place in the world to have sex.

Speaker 4 (55:40):
I'd do it, but so we haven't even we haven't
mentioned one thing.

Speaker 2 (55:45):
Cargill went smelling those did smell in bath in air,
relying toilets is the worst. It's how good?

Speaker 4 (55:51):
Oof? Oh, I just my mistake. Sorry, I thought you
were still talking about the confessional. That's my bood.

Speaker 2 (55:57):
Oh no, no, no, I was. No other couple, got it. Yeah, yeah,
as as somebody who's actually a member of the Mile
High Club. I did not get to become a member
of the Mile High Club.

Speaker 5 (56:08):
In a.

Speaker 2 (56:10):
In the restroom.

Speaker 4 (56:11):
So what were you in the cockpit? What the fuck?

Speaker 3 (56:14):
An overhead compartment? No, you know what, never mind, I'm
not asking. I don't want to get to the center
of that doughnut either. I'm just gonna leave that alone.

Speaker 2 (56:26):
It's it'll makes sense, it's not. It's not as weird
a story as it seems. But UH ended up on
a flight with my girlfriend at the time that kept
getting delayed and delayed and delayed, and everyone else on
the flight except for us got reaccommodated, so we literally
had the entire plane to ourselves and the uh, the

(56:47):
flight attendant just came back at one point and said, hey, look,
since you guys are the only ones here, we're gonna
we're gonna sit down and hang out. You just pressed
the call button nip you need us, and so literally
they pulled the curtain and nobody checked on us. And
I was like, oh, well, the plane to war youself.

Speaker 4 (57:02):
I was cargil.

Speaker 3 (57:04):
I was really suspecting that that story was going to
be you just indoctrinating yourself into the Mile High Club.
Like I didn't want it to be true, but I
wasn't putting it past you either. So I'm glad that
there's a different explanation because.

Speaker 2 (57:19):
It's very different club. It's more of a sex crime
than a club.

Speaker 4 (57:24):
This is true. This is true, much like Thean Frank
sex Club. By the way, speaking of overhead compartments, we
need to talk about how Eurotrip is maybe the last
great animated opening title sequence, like this really feels both
eighties when that was like all the rage, and yet
very connected to this movie because the art is all

(57:45):
done in the style of what you would see on
the safety information card on an airplane.

Speaker 3 (57:50):
Yeah, but I was like, oh my god, an animated opening.
I watching Weekend at Bernie's two. This is amazing.

Speaker 2 (57:57):
Weekend at Bernie's Two is amazing.

Speaker 3 (57:59):
I'm just saying the animated openings for movies such as
the one in Weekend at Berne. I'm not necessarily saying
Weekend at Bernie's two is amazing. I'm also not saying
it's terrible. I kind of like Weekend at Bernie's Two. Sorry,
I do I enjoy that movie?

Speaker 4 (58:12):
Is it terrible? Of course it is? But do I
like it? Yeah? Did I just lose your respect? Did
you jump out of this plane? What happened? No?

Speaker 2 (58:21):
I did not. I was just letting you go.

Speaker 4 (58:23):
I was waiting to hear if you we're gonna hit
the call button. But I guess you were busy back there.

Speaker 2 (58:27):
I mean, look, one of us talked about joining the
Mile High Club and the other talked about their intense
love for, you know, Weekend at Bernie's two. So you know,
take your poise.

Speaker 3 (58:36):
I'm just saying, Cargo, you start playing some steel drums,
you're gonna see some shit.

Speaker 4 (58:40):
All right, That's what's gonna happen here today. This is
not where I parked my car. Let's move on.

Speaker 3 (58:47):
Yeah, we didn't talk about the fact that when when
Scottie and Coop meet me Kay's father and he tells them, oh, yeah,
she's she's traveling around Rome for the summer, they go
into the house to have tea with him.

Speaker 4 (59:00):
And there's a little kid in the background. Again this
is Berlin.

Speaker 3 (59:04):
There's a little kid in the background who's got a
permanent marker and he's drawing a little mustache under his
nose and then he's just he's doing some piles and
some goose stepping in the background, and only Koop notices,
which to this day two things is fucking hilarious because
no one else notices. And the other thing is, you know,

(59:24):
speaking of trivia, a little nugget here, this is the
first on screen roll for young Ben Shapiro. So you know,
it's just it's fascinating what you learn from the research team.

Speaker 2 (59:33):
Is that actual Ben Shapiro. No, it is not. Couldn't
you know.

Speaker 4 (59:40):
Ahe carget where you had to ask that question.

Speaker 2 (59:42):
I mean, look, I mean I do know for a
fact that Ben Shapiro his big his big desire. He
wanted to be a Hollywood screenwriter, a door. And at
what you find out about a lot of those right
wing drifters is they all wanted to get into Hollywood,
and they all failed failed director's favorite, failed screenwriters, failed actors,

(01:00:04):
failed comedians, and then they just all went into the
right wing.

Speaker 3 (01:00:08):
Yeah, and in Shapiro's version of euro Trip Hitler Kid
as the protagonist, so it didn't didn't really work, and
he was all about the Ann Frank sex house scene.
So I mean it just it didn't work on a
lot of different levels as it turns out. Yeah, but
that's the movie. That's euro Trip. We get our happy ending.
We've been laughing our asses off. I've added at least
four new lines to my lexicon, including one that gets

(01:00:32):
bounced around. There's a soundboard function in Discord, and one
of the lines that's on our soundboard for our patrons
and Discord.

Speaker 4 (01:00:40):
Is the girls never came. The girls never came.

Speaker 3 (01:00:44):
When Scotty's talking about accidentally watching a k porn and
just waiting around for the girls to show up that
I don't know why that particular quote got on our soundboard,
but I'm also not removing it.

Speaker 4 (01:00:57):
Yeah, euro Trip was a good call. I hate the
why we're talking about.

Speaker 2 (01:01:01):
This, and let's talk about let's talk about some of
her other films, because you know, like when I got
done with this, there was I wanted to watch her
from this era, and so I followed it up with.

Speaker 4 (01:01:16):
The Ice Ice Princess, which is a movie I just
I just have to say this that you have been
talking about for a very long time as potentially covering
on this show.

Speaker 2 (01:01:27):
So this is the La Princess. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:01:30):
Oh no, no, no Princess.

Speaker 2 (01:01:31):
No no, no, you're thinking Princess Diaries, got it?

Speaker 4 (01:01:35):
Yeah? Yeah, sure, am I sure, Yes.

Speaker 2 (01:01:38):
Prince's Diary is definitely worthy of talking about on the show. Princes.
It's not so much it's cute, but the thing is
is that she's very funny, you know, and then and
she it was. It's just I particularly have a soft
spot for this film simply because this is in this
window of time from two thousand and four to two

(01:02:00):
and seven that is referred to as the Stupid Girl era,
which is when it became very popular in mainstream entertainment
for women to just be to play dumb. You know,
you had the you know, the The Simple Life with
Nicole Ritchie and Paris Hilton. You had a bunch of

(01:02:22):
other women in Hollywood taking leads from that, Lindsay Lohan
playing up to that, things like that, and and a
lot of that media was you know, very very negative
and bad examples. And you know, in that era, here
comes The Ice Princess, which is the antithesis of that,
which is just, you know, exactly the movie you want

(01:02:42):
to take your ten year old daughter too, you know,
and that, you know. I like that people were still
making that kind of content in an era where it
was really popular to go the other direction. And I
wrote a bunch of essays at the time about it
because it was just it was really kind of upsetting
to see kind of woman hating content being sold to women.
And the reason why it's called the Stupid Girl era

(01:03:03):
is Pink wrote a song about the era called Stupid
Girl at which was criticizing all of her contemporaries for
for the uh, for the era. And I really like
that she never played into that and and that was great.
I also really love her in another neglected movie that
I end up watching every few years because I just

(01:03:25):
adore it, even though nobody saw it. Take Me Home Tonight.

Speaker 4 (01:03:28):
Yes, I fucking love that movie.

Speaker 2 (01:03:31):
I do too, and uh, and she's great as the
goth girl.

Speaker 4 (01:03:34):
You know what it is, car Gil hot Tub Time Machine.
Ate that movie's fucking lunch.

Speaker 3 (01:03:38):
And I hate that because that when people think about
those like throwback eighties movies from the like literally around
that same time, everybody talks about hot tub time and
she nobody talks about taking me home tonight.

Speaker 2 (01:03:48):
Yeah, and it's I mean, maybe we do an episode
since you love it. I love the shit out of
that movie, and that movie. That movie has one of
those incredible casts that you're like, how the fuck you
could you know, one of those casts that it would
be so hard to get anything close to that cast
in this day and age with with those with those
people plus lots of you know, fan favorites like Michael

(01:04:11):
Bean showing up. Oh yeah, but yeah, but Michelle Trachtenberg
is plays the the hot and goth girl that went
to school with them that is actually into one of
the guys. He's trying again playing a familiar role of
the sexually available girl that is not being paid attention

(01:04:33):
to that when somebody finally gets knacked upside the back
of the head like oh shit, you're really You're really
hot And she's fun. She's fun and funny in that
one as well.

Speaker 3 (01:04:44):
I just want to say that, in addition to Harriet
the Spy, another thing that this is one of those
weird shows that doesn't get talked about enough.

Speaker 4 (01:04:53):
But when it does get talked about. People are really
really passionate about it. The Avengers of Pete and Pete,
mm hmm.

Speaker 3 (01:04:59):
When I was a kid watching that show, even as
the kids are like, this is weird, but I kind
of dig it, like already sort of cognizant of the
fact that it wasn't gonna be everybody's cup of tea,
but it really spoke to me in its suburban weirdness.
And she played a character that was little Pete's best
friend named Nona, who I always remember her cast like,
she had this this character with his cast and she

(01:05:19):
was amazing.

Speaker 4 (01:05:19):
She was funny, and again she was like I don't.

Speaker 3 (01:05:22):
Know ten, like she really from a young age just
like understood comedy and was really really talented. And yeah,
and then you jump ahead to euro Trip, and even
before then, you know, because of all the things she
had done with Nickelodeon, she would often be a panelist
on the show. Figure it out that I watched a
lot as a kid, which was sort of the Nickelodeon
version of what's My Line, which is so fucking obscure

(01:05:45):
that some Nickelodeon executive who must have been eighty years
old was like, you know what kids would like, They
would like, what's my line? They need their own version
of what's my line? Hey, is Kenny Carlile still alive? Like?

Speaker 4 (01:05:56):
What the fuck? I don't know what was going on
in Nickelodeon at that particular point, but yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:06:01):
It was just this really weird guessing show that she
was a panelist on a lot, and she was just
really naturally funny and charming. And even though you know,
I did not get into Buffy the Vampire Slayer like,
she was always she was always that Nickelodeon girl who
then did euro Trip and proved that she could be
funny as a child and funny as an adult. And
it's just it sucks that we don't have more to

(01:06:24):
look forward to from her career because she was she
was amazing.

Speaker 2 (01:06:28):
Yeah. Yeah, No, another one.

Speaker 4 (01:06:29):
I really like.

Speaker 2 (01:06:32):
Seventeen Again. Oh yeah, she's the is she's the love
interest in that.

Speaker 4 (01:06:38):
Is that the seventeen Again with Matthew Perry.

Speaker 2 (01:06:41):
Yeah, and zach Efrin Jesus Christ.

Speaker 4 (01:06:44):
So two people in that movie have died tragically young.
Great awesome?

Speaker 2 (01:06:48):
Yeah, yeah, people guard zach Efron with your life.

Speaker 4 (01:06:53):
With your life, people with your life.

Speaker 2 (01:06:57):
Yeah, that's another one. Of those movies that has one
of those amazing cast because it's Matthew Perry's at Ephrin,
Leslie Man and Thomas Lennon, Michelle Tractonberg, Uh, Brian Doyle, Murray,
Jim Gaffigan. Like another great cast, fun movie, really adorable. Yeah,
if you are are prone to it, you can have

(01:07:17):
a very fun you know, cuttle under a blanket viewing
party of Michelle Trachtenberg Roles Uh. There's plenty plenty to
choose from of those kind of movies. Sadly, the one
the negative thing I'll say is, you know, she's in
what is one of the worst remakes of its decade,
Black Christmas. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:07:40):
I kind of just skipped over that. It's like, maybe
it's best that I just don't.

Speaker 2 (01:07:45):
I don't miss that. A great, great cast, but not
a good movie. You know, that's Michelle Tracktenberg, Mary Elizabeth Winstead,
Lacy J. Bayer, but not a good remake of a
classic film. Better pretty d do that.

Speaker 3 (01:08:10):
And that brings us to the junk food pairing. And
for this one, I went with pot brownies. I did
not go with a donut cargol. It was like, sitting
here he could hear you through the computer waiting for
me to say a cream field donut. That is not
the junk food pairing with. I went with pot brownies
for two well for one reason, but they could be
split two ways. And there's a great scene in this

(01:08:33):
movie where they go to a Dutch bakery in Amsterdam,
and of course it's a bakery in Amsterdam. They're gonna
have the hash brownies, as they call them, and they
start fucking bugging out and getting the munchies and getting
paranoid and weird, and they have to be told by
the Rastafarian ShopKeep, by the way, those aren't hash brownies.
We're just a bakery. And then he of course says,

(01:08:55):
put your clothes on, white boy. Such a great line.
But if you were if you want to use the
Moniker pot brownies, you could either have yourself a brownie
that is filled with marijuana, or you could go to
Torchi's Tacos here in Austin and get a pot brownie
that has no pot in it and has called that
because their little cauldron shaped brownies. So you could you
could literally have either a hash brownie or a non

(01:09:17):
hash brownie.

Speaker 2 (01:09:19):
Well, I mean, and if you go to Torchi's. That
is not the first time you've been told to put
your clothes on white way.

Speaker 4 (01:09:25):
That's true. That's true.

Speaker 3 (01:09:26):
I don't know why you had to bring that up,
like throwing me directly under the bus, but sure, yeah,
that is that is true. Yes, what's your junk food
piring cargo?

Speaker 2 (01:09:34):
I mean you it was gonna be brownie?

Speaker 4 (01:09:37):
Oh okay, great, all right, cool brownies.

Speaker 2 (01:09:39):
Is the way to go on this one. You know,
it really is whether you have regular brownies, whether you
have actual pot brownies. It's a good pot brownie movie.
It is watching under a state of inebriation makes it,
makes it funnier. Absolutely can confirm.

Speaker 3 (01:09:53):
Can confirm, and neither one of us picked donuts. Maybe
stay away from donuts with this movie and this episode.

Speaker 2 (01:09:59):
That's for that's for a Van Wilder episode.

Speaker 3 (01:10:02):
Yes, yes, it's absolutely for the Van Wilder episode, but
we'll have to wait for Toaz to rise until that happens.

Speaker 4 (01:10:08):
Thank you so much for joining us and going along
with us on our euro trip. If you would like more.

Speaker 3 (01:10:12):
Junk food cinema, as I mentioned the top of the show,
we're available on all your favorite podcasters, all your favorite
social media and if you really like the show.

Speaker 2 (01:10:19):
I mean, you really like the show.

Speaker 3 (01:10:20):
You like it as much as I'm desperate to revisit
all the episodes of the Adventures of Pete and Pete
right the fuck now. You can go to Patreon dot
com slash Junk Food Cinema for as little as a
dollar an episode. You are financially supporting the show and
we greatly appreciate it. Cargiol Where can people find you
on the interwebs.

Speaker 2 (01:10:35):
You can find me on Blue Sky at c Robertcargill
dot bsguy dot Social, or you can find my new
movie The Gorge playing on Apple Plus streaming right now.

Speaker 4 (01:10:46):
Awesome.

Speaker 3 (01:10:46):
You can find me as brag Guy Salisbury or Junkfood
Cinema on the Socials and that's gonna do it.

Speaker 4 (01:10:52):
For this episode, I almost went a little bit long
on this, and for that I can only say, Miss Scoozy, Missssgoozie.

Speaker 1 (01:11:00):
I don't know, I know, I don't know, I don't know.
I don't know, but I don't know, hasn't know. But
I's gotta go