February 25, 2021 • 39 mins
In part 1 of this special double episode season 3 finale, pre-pandemic Shay shares what it’s like to be a new mom to her 5-month-old daughter Atlas. She talks about her birth story, what it was like going through pre-partum depression, and how she’s changing the diaper bag game with her travel brand Beis.
Head over to part 2 to find out if Shay kept her chill after a year in quarantine!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to Katie's Crib, a production of Shonda land Audio
in partnership with I Heart Radio. Hi everybody, welcome back
to Katie's Crib. You guys here we are. We did it.
This is the season three finale of Katie's Crib. Thank
(00:23):
you guys so much for listening. My Katie's Crib community
has been such a source of inspiration and support during
this incredibly challenging epic up and down learning and unlearning
wild Year and what we have here for the season
(00:43):
three finale is actually a two part or it's two
episodes for the price of one. That's right, folks, It
is a two for with the one and only Shay Mitchell.
I am so excited. Part one. Why we had to
do it two for I'll explain is that the first
episode Shay and I actually recorded on March twelve, that is,
(01:05):
the day before shutdown. Shane and I met in person.
This was the last in person interview I did for
Katie's Crib. We bumped elbows because we didn't know if
it was safe to hug, even though we really wanted to.
There was hand sanitizer all over the table's toilet paper
had been thought from all the grocery stores, and we
didn't know what was on the horizon. So I'm very
excited for you to listen to the version of Shay
(01:29):
Mitchell with her five month old and me with pregnancy
that I didn't know about yet. For episode two of
the finale, Shay and I just met a few days
ago because I reached out and I was like, Shay,
everyone's gonna want to know how you are now, me
me especially. And so the second episode of the season
finale is February one, Shay Mitchell in February, Katie lows
(01:55):
I have a newborn. Shay has a one year five
month old. We are in pandemic times, and yet we
understand it more. It has been a year and change
that no one ever ever ever saw coming. So here
you have it, episode one of the season finale of
Katie's christ And then once you've listened to this episode,
(02:17):
head over to part two. I am very excited to
introduce today's guest. She is an actress, she's an entrepreneur.
She is a queen of travel. She is a new
member of a of the Mom Club with a five
month old. We know her as Emily Fields and pretty
little Liars, Peach in You on Netflix, and most recently
(02:38):
Stellic Hole in doll Face on Hulu. Yes. Yes, and
I feel like I've known you for like a hundred
years through Troy and Bellasario. Everybody, welcome the one. The
only shame it Jael, Hello, Hi, thank you so much
for coming on. I feel like I just can't believe.
I don't think we've met before. We haven't, but I
really think I've met you because I've seen you on
TV obviously in the same with you, right it No,
(03:00):
but I feel like I know you. It's I'm very
um thrilled that you're here and also that now we
are going to be friends. Um, get ready for friendship,
as I like to say, UM, let's dive in. We
we guys, we've we've already been talking for like a while,
returned on these mics, so we're already like into a topic. Um,
we were talking about your beautiful daughter Atlas. I love
(03:24):
that name. Thank you. Oh my god, how did you
come up with it? I actually didn't. It was our
good friends who were coming up with a name for
their daughter, like probably about two years ago, and they
were going through the list and all of a sudden
they hit at lists and I looked at Matt and
I'm like he's like, whoa. I'm like, they can't they
can't you they can't use that one. And so we're
like telling her, We're like, uh, we don't really like
(03:45):
it exactly, you know, I thought so too um. And
then all of a sudden, you know, we called her
Atlas and then she's like, he was Atlas going to
be the name whatever? Boy girl? They no, we have
a boy named still, we always had a boy name.
I thought I was having a boy just instinctively. I
was like, I think I'm having a boy, and you
(04:06):
didn't find out. We did find out, yes, yes, so
we thought it was boy and until we did the
gender revealed. Then when it was a girl, were like,
we have no name. This is like completely you know,
changing everything we had ever thought about. So Atlas came about.
And then her middle name, Noah, actually got from Twitter.
So I did. Yes. Some fan was like, what do
(04:29):
you guys think Shane mass baby's name is going to be?
And there was like a list and then they had
Noah and it was an o A. I'm like that's sick.
I called him. I'm like Atlas Noah, and your last
name was great now Atlas. Um, you guys follow shape Mitchell. Uh,
your beautiful daughter we were talking about. She presents his
white Yes, she is very fair, scary blue eye, she
(04:51):
has light hair, and you and your husband do not.
You guys are But I'm like me and my boyfriend.
Everybody never knows that I love it because I just
you know, people like so husband, I'm like, no, my boyfriend, boyfriend. Um,
there's no ring on it, so you know. But um, yes,
Matt and I definitely look like we are mixed because
(05:15):
we are. We each have a parent who's fully Caucasian,
and then he's his dad's from trinidadad my mom's from
the Philippines. She resembles neither of them and just really
resembles my dad and his mom. So yeah, does she
have stuff from both your dad and his mom, just
the blue eyes and the fairer skin. Yeah. And he
(05:36):
was like wait what he looked at me. I was like,
I swear, you know, we wear it, so yeah, I'm
like I don't know, um, but right away I saw
her eyes and I was like, yeah, I'm pretty sure
I wasn't born with these kind of eyes, and everybody
was like, yeah, but they changed, don't that's true, you know,
And everybody did say that, but I was I knew.
(05:58):
I was like, no, she's really does have these crazy
light eyes. Now you're super famous, so people probably already know.
But I feel like I talk about this with other
moms I know whose kids don't look anything like them
and they're on the playground and people think they're the nanny.
Oh yeah, sure, like you know, people like that's not
your kid. Definitely, especially when Matt's like with her walking around,
people are like, oh, cute kid, but like not his.
(06:19):
You know, they just don't put two in two. It's
like he's holding a friend's kid and the same with me.
So it's interesting, Um, did you always know you wanted
to be a mom? Yes? I always knew that I
wanted to be a mom, but it wasn't something I
had any sort of timeline for or like you know,
I mean, I wasn't one of those girls. I never
(06:41):
planned a wedding. I personally don't want to get married.
I never had this whole expectation of like how things
were going to go. I just thought I'd like that,
so if it happens awesome. So baby was definitely in
the cards for you. But marriage You're like, no, it's
just you don't feel it. I just don't feel And
I love weddings. I you have a wedding, I'd love
to go. I'll buy it. If I love weddings, I
(07:01):
love it. But for me, I just feel like, I mean, hey,
this is the biggest commitment we could ever have. I
don't take a ring, like, hey man, I'll take a ring,
but the whole party and all of that, I just
I don't know. I love the fact that I'm like,
come and go and you can do that regardless, but
for me and no, it it's different. I feel like
(07:22):
my first fight with a him when we were married,
I was like, oh, yeah, this is something I can't
get out of as easily as before. Like I definitely
remember that being like, holy sh it, like a thing
that it's not. I mean, look, is it not because
of that? I just like, I don't know. I just
don't feel it for myself. But I love that. And
also Matty, he's your life partner in that might change,
(07:42):
like we might be seeing your wedding at well exactly
and we I like to call it a commitment party.
So eventually I want to have a commitment party. That's
what people say, is you know, kind of similar to
a wedding. But I want to make a commitment as
a family, and not just to Matt and I. I mean,
we'll be cool forever because we're her parents, but I
want to a commitment that we're going to be the
best parents for her and we're going to be like
(08:03):
fam jam you know, first and foremost, Um, was that
was planned? No, she wasn't planned. Um, yeah, she wasn't planned.
And I just kind of had a feeling when I
was pregnant, and because this was the second time, I
may not have been as excited about it. I was
(08:23):
a little scared the second time. So I basically, you know,
telling him was just kind of like, oh, yeah, so
I just took a test and I'm pregnant. Like it
was very like you know, Um, but it wasn't it
wasn't planned, was it not? Was she was here? Yeah?
She was here? Um. So you have this amazing, huge
following on social media outside of all of your amazing
(08:45):
roles on TV and film. Um, like you keep certain
I'm fascinated how you keep some of your life private though,
how like your relationship, Like how do you decide what
does or doesn't or like how do you know what
to do? Because I haven't posted a picture of my kid,
not because I judge. I just like and I'm I'm
(09:05):
a Libra. I'm really bad at making decisions, and so
when I can't make a decision, I just don't do
anything because I'm overwhelmed with fear. I mean, you're my
Matt's a Libra. Yeah, so we're like I get you,
get me. I was really excited when I found out
she was gonna be a Libra. I was like, we're
on the cusp of virgo libra. Either or I would
not mind. But I was like, if she's a Libra,
she's like Matt super chill. I don't know. Two areas
(09:27):
in the house could be really crazy. What's an aries,
what's the what's what's the I mean people say we're
a little hardheaded, um, a little stubborn. Um are you
super independent? Yeah? I am, But I'm also like being
with a Libra, like you need an area's in your life.
You need me to like kind of you know, set
the tone a little bit. Sure. So um, so, like
(09:49):
how did you decide to share the process of being
pregnant YouTube, like how did you do it? You know,
we kind of thought about it and at the beginning
we were like, Okay, I want to feel this process
just because like it's gonna be shot professionally, and like
that would be funny to look back and for her
to look back. And there wasn't really anything I was
too scared to show because I still at the end
(10:09):
of the day would have some control, right, But even then,
I mean in the editing room, we left everything in there.
So I wanted people to kind of see this whole
journey because you know, maybe one person out there could
relate to some sort of thing or find something funny
or whatever. Um. So that's why we decided to do
the show. But when it came time to thinking if
we were going to put Alice's face out there or
(10:30):
what we're we going to do at the end of
the day, I just had to think. Unfortunately, if you
were to google anybody's kid, even if you don't, you
can sometimes see it. Of course, for me, I was
just like I don't ever want somebody to fight or
like really trying a creepy way to get a photo
like let me be in control of everything first, so
that I put it out and people know when you
(10:52):
see it. Now, how much I'll put her out, I
don't know. I'm kind of just going with the flow
with this entire thing. So for right now, I mean,
is she going to look the same way right now?
Listen later? No, And I don't know when she's a
little bit older, am I going to continue to post her?
Maybe I won't. For right now, I'm like I am.
It feels good to you until it does to me,
until until it doesn't. Thank you, we were talking about
(11:23):
before we started again recording. Sorry guys, and now, um,
there's been nothing thus far knock on Wood that has
really sent you spiraling, which I also think it's very
inspiring for our listens to hear, because look, Katie's crib
is a safe space and a lot of moms come
on and are having a rough time, and like, this
is very inspiring for us all to hear that you
(11:44):
you're just rocking and moment well, And let me also
preface that with I have help first and formant, you
know what I mean, Like I had somebody help us
with nights for the first month, so that we were
able to sleep, and I had that feel weird to
you at all and loved it at the same time
because I was still watching the monitors and I love
everybody that took care of her. But it was really difficult.
(12:05):
So that was hard. There were definitely a few nights
there where I'm just like, oh my gosh, I just
go in and get her, like I should be doing this.
I should be doing this. Um And I'm not saying
like it's been sweet, it's but this is kind of no.
But there hasn't been any sort of like you didn't
struggle with postpartum depression. No, I struggled with pre So
that was something that was difficult, and I actually thought
I was going to have a hard time with post
(12:25):
just because I don't know, I had an inkling. But
with her and because of the help that we were
really are really fortunate to have, it's made it a
lot easier. So, I mean that is like you said,
it's right now, she's going to get into tea lenge,
She's gonna get in a lot of other things. We
haven't slept trained or let Yeah, there's all these things.
We're really intuitively parenting is what I like to call it.
And I don't know if I'm doing it right or wrong.
(12:47):
That goes to your chill nature, like you're just like
day by day as things come your way and how
things come in and out of your life. Tell me
about so pre depression, like you had a big bout
of it before she was here. Before she was here,
when I was probably like war four months, three or
four or five months, those were like the worst times.
And I was almost just like, oh my gosh, like
(13:08):
I'm now going to be a mom, and now being
a mom, of course, I'm like this is amazing. I
feel like a superwoman. But before I was, I was
scared because I'm like, you can't go back, Like now
you're okay, so I'm not like like cute, single, available girl,
like I'll have a kid, Like it was really hard
for me to get that. And and then I was
(13:29):
just like and then this commitment, you know with Matt,
like we're all like there's no disappearing here, like now
we're doing this, We're in it, oh my gosh. And
there was just a lot of that and a lot
of like, is it's going to change my lifestyles, It's
going to change how people look at me, Like am
I still cool? Like truly, all these thoughts went ran
through my mind. And then in addition to that, I
wasn't telling anybody at that point. I didn't want to
(13:50):
tell anybody. I felt super lone that was on the road,
and there was a lot of jealousy because I was like,
you're continuing to live your life just like you had
prior to the this, and I'm now like, I can't drink,
I can't do this, I can't do that, Like this
is really confining and I don't like being confined. How
do you feel? Now? Do you feel? I feel great?
And to be honest with you, I have tried not
(14:13):
to really miss a b Like I continue to live
my life and she is the most amazing thing that's
ever happened to it. But I am still myself. I
just now added another role, you know, into my repertoire,
Like now I'm like also a mom, like add to
the multi hyphen it And that's how I look at it.
And I want her to see that I have continued
(14:34):
to be myself because I would not want her to
do the same thing when she you know, if she
does go through this process herself. But um, I don't
know that's what my mom is still to me. My
mom had my brother and I and then went to work,
and I just saw her hustle and then come back
and still be like the best mom ever. And she
made it look so effortless. And that's what I'm like, WHOA,
It definitely is an effortless but like she made it
(14:55):
look like that. I'm that's what I'm aspiring to. How's
your work life balance? So your mom worked and that
she went back to work. I had a big effect
on you because you were like, Wow, it's possible. So
my mom was a stay at home mom, which was
like who when I had? I went back to work
when Alby was eight weeks old, But it was such
I called my mom and I was like, and I
(15:15):
think my mom did a really great job raising my
brother and myself. And I was like, I feel like
a failure already. I feel like I should have I
feel like I can't believe I'm making this choice, but
I'm I'm going to raise my son with a bunch
of other people, Like it's not going to be me
by myself at all. Also, the two weeks my nanny
was sick and I was by myself with him. It
was like I was terrible at it and I didn't
(15:36):
like it or myself. Um that's not to say someone
I have, Oh my god, I have a very good
friend who was a hot shot, like top of the
game lawyer. She had her daughter completely done, quit her job,
wanted to be home. It's her how that that's what
felt right and good to her. Um, so your mom
worked and you were like, that's going to be my
(15:57):
story and how I was very much prior to having Alice.
I was like, I'm not taking time off. I'm getting
right back into it. Like this isn't going to change that.
We all say that, right exactly. That is a bullshit statement, absolutely,
and it was because, you know, after having her, I
was like, all right, and I'm gonna slow things down.
Like I hardly took a lot of photos. I wish
I took more, but I was so present and so
(16:19):
in the moment with her for that first little bit
that it was amazing, you know, And um, did you
have a maternity leave. I'm not shooting a show right now,
so I'm kind of like it's whenever I decide, you know,
I'm like picking up my phone and I'll text a bit,
but it's I didn't really I didn't take an official leave. No,
like people still had access to me. Sure, I just
got back to them when I was ready. Great, So
(16:40):
it was nice. Yeah, great. Um, tell me about your
birth story. I remember listening to you or when I
was pregnant. I was like, oh my god, I think
I was out of my mind when I recorded that.
I feel like I need to well know, I know it,
I love it, but I need to like because your
birth story, this is odd. I think it changes. I
think your memory of it changes. Well, obviously you're changes
(17:02):
because people have more than exactly, so like your memory
of it definitely changes. What is your story at the moment,
Today's story at the moment. From what I can remember,
it was like hours or something. It was you were induced.
I was induced. My water broke. I got out of
the shower, and I was like, oh, crazy, like this
is what it feels like. It's kind of nice, Like
I don't know. I was like chilling at home for
(17:23):
the first three hours, and then I always knew I
was going to go to the hospital. I myself feel
comfortable in a hospital more so than I would at home. Um,
so you know. I called my doctor and I was like, hey,
can you meet me here. He was like, oh, you
could probably labor more at home. I'm like, no, I
feel more comfortable at the hospital. So I felt there
very similar. Yeah, like very I was like getting me
in the hands of professional exactly and the same. So
(17:48):
I went over there and then you know, obviously like
not a lot was happening. So then they were like, okay,
we're gonna give you potosa and I'm like, oh, I
remember this from all the stories that I've heard potos
and equals epidural. I'm like, I'm trying too, but if
it does, then cool. I had no birth plan. It
was really just like again, go with the front. It
was go with the flow because I mean, you can't
play it for this ship. I'm sorry, but like you
(18:10):
have a long list. It is so inspiring. Like I'm
just like, whoa, I need a dose on the regular.
So I went in they gave me pots in and
then I was like, oh, these are getting real. And
at that point I wanted to murder Matt when he
was sleeping because I was on the ball, like crying
like this is crazy, and I like almost was just
trying to prove to my dula in a way which
(18:31):
she didn't even care. But I was like, no, I
could do this for you, like if it was if
she wasn't in the very similar my dula. When I
called for the epidural, I looked at her and I said,
I feel like you're disappointed to say and she said
I am not. But I was putting that on her.
She was they really couldn't care. It wasn't that, you know,
And I'm like, I'm sorry. She's like stop. I'm like, okay,
you're good, and I'm gonna do it. Um. Anyway, so
(18:52):
then I got the epidurl and I was like, why
didn't I do this before? Like next time? Personally, I'm
walking in, give me the epidore watch a Netflix like
that's what I'm doing. Um. But then there was a
weird part with that too, because my legs were so
numb and Matt kept doing this thing. He'd come over,
lift my legs up and then drop them and be like, whoa,
you really can't feel them. I was like, bro, like
(19:15):
I can't stop doing that because I'm gonna have bruises
when I wake up from this. Okay anyways, no, um,
but it was. That was frustrating because that whole part
where I couldn't do anything because she wasn't moving was
frustrating because you're not comfortable even with the upper dolls.
It's very weird feeling to have your legs go completely weird,
you know. And then I was like, what if there's
a fire drill or I need to get up? Like
(19:36):
That's when I started having those thoughts. For a second,
let those pass, and then, um, the pushing part. It
was eleven minutes. I remember my doctor was so incredible,
came in like throughout the entire time. Um, he came
in and he was like, all right, your dial lated,
let's go. I pushed. It was eleven minutes, and I
was just like, I mean that feeling there's you can't
(19:57):
like to anybody, you just can't. It's like I was like, Oh,
there's a baby, whoa, that's mine. Oh this is real,
you know, and it's just it's it's like the craziest
high you could ever have. As nuts. It's so remarkable.
I really I really think it's the closest however your
baby comes to you. I just really think it's like
(20:19):
it's a real fucking superhero movement for sure. It's just
superhero for sure. Like it's so crazy. Um, so you
guys did choose a duela? Um did you like having that?
They're so happy I did. And I was not thinking
I was going to do that before, Like when I
heard people get deals, I'm like, Okay, that's like, what
(20:41):
are they gonna do? No, she was incredible And when
the times when Matt was sleeping and I wanted to
kill him, she stopped me. And so it was really
good to have her in the room because she was
awake with me and she just calmed me down everything
about her. So I mean I would do it again.
She too. Yeah, And I was a think birth. I
think it used to be. I think it's different in
(21:03):
other places in the world, but I think, you know,
it's interesting when you do it at a hospital. Nurses
are changing absolutely shifts all the time, and you could
have a labor that's over multiple days and you're most
of the time. If you have a partner, they don't
they don't know what then they're now. So it's just
so amazing. And your doctors and show up till the end.
(21:25):
So showed up for me. About the entire process for
a lot of people. It's not so I know that
there's one person who's been through a billion birds. Hopefully
if you go with an experienced DULA who is on
your case from start to finish, and I'll tell you
when they I think it's like they move you from
(21:45):
the labor and delivery room to the recovery room, and
she like packed up all of our ship and like,
thank God, like that small thing. I was like, I mean,
I don't have legs, they don't work. Um, my husband's
out of his mind, just met his son, and like
I need someone else to help, like bring together my
toothbrush on my into It was cool because she would
(22:06):
also get my parents were in town for two weeks beforehand,
which anyways, Um, so they that would you recommend the
next time? I'm like, next time I going to labor,
I'll call you. Because they live in Vancouver. I'm like,
I'll call you when I go to labor next time,
so you can be here at that moment instead of
waiting two weeks before. Because that put a lot of parsons.
This is stressful now because you guys are here and like,
who knows how late she's going to come. I don't
(22:27):
know but no, going back to the Andre, she was
incredible because she also like knew when I wanted everybody
out of the room, and she had a way of
doing it that didn't insult them. She can play the
bad cop. She played the bad cop and it was great. Um,
so yeah, a hundred percent will have her. What was
your postpartum situation? Like, like, did you love it? Were
you in love immediately? I know we talked to you.
(22:48):
Have you had pre um partum depression but not postpartum depression?
Did it click in right away? Did you feel the
happiest you've ever felt? Like? What did you feel? It
was wild? And I feel like, I'm so grateful for
the amazing nurses I had at theaters. I truly wanted
to stay in the room with them forever, Like it
was such a pleasant experience that I had with them.
(23:10):
They made it so lovely and helped me out with
her right away. Um, you know, the breastfeeding was really
interesting and painful. But I had other friends who had
recently had kids too, and they were like, Shay, we're
on week three. Like, if you want to continue to
do it and it works for you, it's going to
get better, saying that yes, and so I had that
in my mind because I was like, otherwise, I'm like,
(23:32):
I think I'm the only one with my nipples feeling
like that. I would be a breastfed one more day
if I hadn't had my village. And again for everyone listening,
I just I cannot emphasize enough having mothers around you.
You say, they're not mothers around you who are saying
things like you should know none of them or this
is what's best none just saying helpful things like I'm
(23:55):
a little bit ahead of you, and in my experience
it got better at eight weeks. That might not be
your case exactly. That's what I can tell you. And
I would hear things like that and I'd be like, okay,
like they like maybe I can, maybe I can. Um. Yeah,
I just feel like that's great that you had that. Um.
You posted like the most speaking of breastfeeding, gorgeous photo
(24:16):
of yourself breastfeeding back in December, and did you just
get so much attenion. I mean, it's the whole normalizing
breastfeeding thing is. To be honest, I wasn't even trying
to do that. I was at a photo shoot with
my style of seeding and then because she was there
and we got a photo and I loved it and
(24:38):
I put it out and you know, it's so interesting.
It was Socian Mitchell. You didn't even like know that
this would like waves. And I mean everything I've done
when I was pregnant now that everything is kind of
made a wave in one way or another. And like,
if I really care that much, I'd be up and
down every day, so I don't um. But with that,
it was interesting because people were just like, how dare
(24:59):
you make it looks so glamorous? And I'm like, I
was dressed up, but it does look glamorous in this time.
It does it all the time. They were thinking like
maybe this was a breastfeeding photo shoot. Yeah, and then
I was just trying to and then you know, they're like,
you make it uncomfortable for other people who don't look
like this when they breast me. I'm like, no, I'm
not trying to do that. I was at a photo shoot.
(25:19):
I had a full glamb team and this is what
it is. But like, let me tell you, I'm in
my sweatpants majority of the time, you know. And also
that's a fucking dope photo. And I hope you blowed up. Yeah,
and I am. But I'm also like, why do when
people think that we're doing things as a mother, do
you always have to picture a stained shirt? It's not
always like that. And that pissed me off because I
was like, I am in a stain shirt most of
the time, but when I am not, we can also
(25:41):
be glamorous in a dress of feeding our child, Like,
who were you to tell me? I don't know. That's
my whole feeling. I don't really get that crazy about
it because it makes me laugh. Did you breastfeed ever
in public? Or did you feel like that in public? Did? Yeah?
I just and you Like, I was sort of like,
I mean again, I'm such a rule follower and type
of person, but I loved sort of rebelling, like I'd
(26:02):
be this is the one time in public I'm going
to have my tid out and everyone just has to
deal with it. Like I just was like, like I
at first, I was like all about covering and all
this stuff, and then I started hanging out with Kristen Bell,
who was like, are you kidding? She was like and no,
like her, Dax said that the more people that would
come over, the more times she would breastfeed with her
boot out, Like it's like it just it is, it
(26:23):
is what it is. I'm just like if I'm there
at the gym and I'm not like hello everybody, but
like I'll just do it. I just don't think about
it anymore. Like we take her out to dinner and
we go to you know places out there, and I'll
just take her out and beat her. You founded this
(26:48):
incredible luxury travel line. I'm obsessed with travel. We need
to talk about this. Pronounced the beautiful name for me
ba ba yes, Um, tell me about the latest collection
you're rolling out, Like, tell me how you're helping moms.
I feel like you and I are kindred spirits in
the travel world. I'm obsessed with traveling. My kid's been
on a fifty seven flights in his two and a
(27:09):
half year amazing. Um. He's been to seven countries. Travel
is the one place. It's my most favorite things, more
than anything on the planet. Um. And it's important. It
was Honestly, I can remember when Adam and I were
having we planned our son, but like we were having
so many conversations. We the one time we had to
go to couples therapy was because I was not. I
(27:30):
was so scared that having a child was going to
change my ability to travel because it's where I feel best,
and I'm curious, how have you traveled with her? It's
a big value for you as well. Obviously you have
an entire line of loggage. Yes, travel for me was
always I mean, like you said, it was my first love.
(27:51):
It's my favorite thing in the entire world. And you know,
when I was traveling, I always kind of look at
other people's bags and I look at my own bags,
and yes, you know, the stuff that was super funsy
but still to me doesn't seem as functional was always
way out of my budget. And the stuff, you know
that was affordable, it was just looked affordable, like looked
very cheap, and it was cheap and fell apart, and
(28:12):
then I was like, oh, I need something in the
middle that, you know, it was functional and cute and
maybe just a solid color, like maybe not paink with unicorns.
I love unicorns, but maybe I don't always want that
where I'm getting affordable luggage, like I want just cheek
luggage that has really functional and so I'd be on
the plane. I just draw up these ideas. You know,
it could be the weight indicator that we added to
(28:33):
our luggage, because all the times that I go there,
there's weight indicates you lift the handle and as the floor. Yeah,
of course, because I don't wear a genius who thinks
to buy literally who's standing on a scale and then
I'm having a hold the scale, Well, I'm on it.
It's so dup. I'm gonna you're good. I'll send you.
(28:55):
And it was everything from like the handle, you know,
I remember being like, if I'm running to a flight,
like the handle would really cramp my hand and when
I was holding it, so I put a cushion under
all the handles, and people this is genious. Yeah, But
it was just because I had so much experience on
the road and on the go, I'd come up with
these things that I selfishly wanted to create for myself.
You know, Like sitting there and looking at the airplane
(29:16):
pocket in front of you, I was like, that's disgusting.
There needs to be a pocket that I can put
in so my laptop and stuff I don't have to
go reaching forward in the pocket. So I thought organizer exactly.
So all these different things kept coming to me and
I was like, you know what. You know, people would
have been asking like, or you need to have a
makeup line, You're gonna do a clothing line? Like I
love those things, but I don't have an interest in
doing them. I really want to go into the travel
(29:38):
market because I feel like there's a white space for
it and that I can fill um. And so that's
kind of how Base came about. And now most recently,
we just dropped our diaper bag collection, which I'm super
excited about because when I was looking for bags, you know,
it was like the two designer ones and then the
other ones that to me personally, I wasn't into. They
looked like diaper bags. And I don't want to ride
(29:58):
away be like, oh you have diapers in there. No,
I want to be able to take it to a
meeting and then I have my daughter with me and
people be like that's a cute bag, no matter if
their mother or not, you know. And so that's how
our diaper bag collection came about. And truly, if you
take out the changing pad, it's a chic bag. It's
just a ch Why are we just why are diaper
bags so shitty? I don't know, I really don't know,
(30:21):
because It's like, why, like they're carrying shooty things inside, Like,
can we just not make it look like just I
don't hate when things scream, like because I have a
functional and so people are crazy. To be functional, they
don't have to look like diaper bags. We're literally doing
the sickest diaper bag backpack that I'm like, I can't.
(30:43):
I'm so excited about this because it transforms into like
a different kind of bag, two bags. I'm just going
to leave it at that, but I'm telling you, it's
a transformer. It's a transformer. It's chicaf and the stuff
that we have coming for Mom's babies, all of that
kind of stuff, and the travel world is so exciting.
This is this is good. Um, So with that, have
(31:05):
you taken Atlas on trips? Yes? I took her too Thancouver.
I feel it was her first trip to visit my grandma,
and so that was incredible. Um, she did a plane ride,
we did a helicopter ride to the island, and then
after that we had to go to Paris. So I
took her to Paris and it was I mean, honestly,
I mean, I think she's truly my child and living
(31:26):
into her name. Because she loves an airplane. Like she
is great. You know, she's up and then she'll sleep,
but for right now, for right now, because I could
just hear people being like, wait until like she crawls,
wait until she It was really only bad for us
when he learned how to walk, because it was like
cajing a gorilla. He doesn't have to sit for six hours.
He wants to keep practicing, and he wants to go
(31:49):
up and down the aisles and he wants to crawl,
and we did. I mean, I've never gotten in that
many steps ever. See, I'm excited for that moment because
that's when Matt's going to take over. You know, that's
up and down. I'll be here and then we'll go
and hang out in the bathroom for like three like
a while, and he just pulls out all the toilet
paper and all the stuff. UM tell me about um
(32:11):
any self care routine tips like are you like a meditator?
How do you're just chill as fuck? Like I'm not,
because because what's the alternative? Like are you sleeping out?
Did you sleep immediately? But I don't really sleep. I
didn't sleep prior to Atlas that much like I don't
really sleep a lot. That was the one benefit of
me going into this is that I wasn't used to
(32:32):
having a lot of sleep regardless. But to me, I'm
always asking, I'm like, is this a crazy big deal
whatever it is that I'm you know, in and will
we be like what's the alternative? Dressing out and freaking
out and then what like that doesn't accomplish anything either,
and like no one wants to be around that. And
like Matt super chill too. He's a little bit more
of a hypochondract than I am, but I bring him
(32:53):
back down. I'm like, she's fine, You're fine. Has she
had like a major cold or throw I had diarrheas,
I had a january and and you know I had
heard and read. I was like, oh but if I'm
resting her, she won't get it. If she got it,
so she Yeah. It was It was, you know, so
sad because but he was right there with the whole
like snot sucker. I couldn't do that. I still can't,
(33:16):
but he's a pro at it and like Sailene snot Sucker,
like he was getting in there and totally crushing it
with her. Um, but it were you afraid. Ever, No,
fear is not your go to. It's just but yeah,
it's not because it's like that doesn't help anything. No, No,
I'm super cautious. Trust me, Like I have hands, Sandy,
I'm always prepared to the max. I'm prepared, but I'm
(33:38):
not going to stress out because I also feel like
that energy in my mind sufconsciously, like through osmosis and
all that stuff. I truly believe that it can seep
into them sometimes and then cause her to be a
little bit more anxious. I don't want that. I want
to be like even Keel super cool. So if she
is scared, you know, she's like, oh, but I don't
feel it from you, so we're good. You know. It's
like how you look at the flight attendants on the plane.
(33:59):
I'm always like, Okay, is she okay, she's not looking
like she's freaking out. We're good. I need to be
that flight attendant at all times for them. You know,
do you ever feel mom guilt? Is that a thing
for you or is it? Because like I said, I
want her to know that, Like I'm continuing, the better
I feel and the better my mind is, the better
I'm going to be for her, you know, the happier
I am, And like that's really important for me. I
(34:21):
have to go out and I need to go and
do my workouts fit that in. I need to fit
in my time with my girlfriends without her there. I
need to fit out in times with Matt you know
where it's she's not there, so that like my sanity
is good and when I come back, she's getting That's
really the thing that Troy and said that didn't try.
I think Troyan on her podcast was like, it's the
whole I put my mask on first on the airplane
(34:43):
bringing it back to Tremble, but like you put your
mask on first, so you feel God, s Mitchell, you're inspiration. Good.
Let's just say how amazing it is to have a
Troy and Bellisario in our lives too. Is im oh
my last weekend And like she's like French and all
(35:04):
sign language and all the stuff. I'm like in French
to her child and sign language. It's so dumb. But
she also is also a very chill mom. She is
also very chill. Um I would say, between us and
all the listeners, I think you're even chiller, which is
incredible to me. Um I think she's my chill mom friend,
like she's the one, and wow, you're even more so.
It's amazing. Um um, what is next for you? Oh
(35:26):
my gosh, are you like ready to jump in and
have another baby now? And Matt was like, why don't
you just like you know, get it done, yeah, run
it back? And I'm like, well you want to. I'd
be more than happy to support you on your journey
of you delivering one. But for me, right now, I
want to enjoy her and I want to see her
like grow up a little bit and walk and do
(35:47):
all these like little important first things with her right now.
And then you know, who knows, who knows, who knows
what's going to happen for the next one, Like I
don't know, but I'm enjoying it right now and it's
and yeah's next for you? Work wise? Work wise? Going
back to work on doll phase per season two? Where
does it l A? I know that dream? I know
(36:10):
it's really nice. And you mean having the other girls
on the show too is awesome because she'll have like
three other like aunties. Are you the only mom on
the show of Yes, that's great and important. That's an
important torch to carry. I always think, no matter what
job place you're in, if you are the first to
be you know, doing the mom journey, it's like you're
(36:30):
really setting precedent for a lot of people who worked there. Yeah,
and they said the same thing when I was pregnant,
because they're like funck sha, like now when we're bring
we can't complain about this stuff. And I was like,
because because you didn't come because I was pregnant at
six months shooting these shows and like and it was
you know, like we all know, crazy long hours. I
was wearing heels, that's my character war. I was so
(36:51):
like obsessed with her being this like fashionista person. So
I was like, well more heels better. And that was
at three months. Six months. I was like, don't fit exactly,
but no, it was it was. It was good and
it was fun and it was like cool that I
proved it to myself I could do it. At the end,
I was ready for it to be done because I
was like, Okay, I can't go on any longer. And
I don't know who saw it, but I'd highly suggest
(37:13):
running diapers if you're still probably like that to me.
I wore diapers. Yeah, I wore diapers on Broadway. Oh amazing.
Like I was like horrified because I hadn't done anything
like really physical and I just six a month old
and we were doing like lifts and throws and I
was running, and I was like, I don't know, guys,
this could come out of left field and I could
just dump a whole lot of yurine all over this
Broadway st and diapers. Prior to that, I'm saying, when
I was on set shooting those long hours, I was
(37:34):
like the bathrooms all the way. Okay, basing What is
your advice for new moms out there, I would say,
don't stress yourself out because in your mind you're like,
I'm not doing this right. I'm not perfect. Like look
by the way, your kids not holding a grudge. They're
not keeping tally of what you're doing right or what
(37:55):
you're doing wrong. They're really not. They want you to
love them and give them attention, and I mean they
feed off that energy. I truly believe that. So when
you were super stressed out, I mean, just try and
pull it back a little bit and be like what
I got this, you got this, you got this. And
also you can reach out to someone who can help
you absolutely, and there are always there's places you can
(38:15):
go to talk about things if you're not feeling well.
There's so many amazing places out there. Wow, incredible, and
you're not even like a meditator for twenty minutes a
day now. And my parents, my dad took me to
meditation when I was younger, So I still like, maybe
that's wow, it all sunk. Maybe dads are like I
have no idea. A lot of those self help books,
he'd always have it on a books. Maybe that played
(38:35):
a part two. But you can tell us what meditation
school you're dad took you to, or what audio tapes
he was putting on it. If we played them for
our children, they might be really chill like you. Um,
but thank you so much for being on Katie's Crib.
This was so helpful and also just so beautiful to
talk to a mom who's rocking it. Um, Atlas is
beautiful and you are beautiful, And thank you so much
(38:56):
of you. Thank you, thank you for having me. H,
thank you guys so much for listening to episode one
of the two part episode finale of Katie's Crib Season three.
I invite you all to listen to episode two with
(39:20):
Shae Mitchell in February of one Let's Hear How Shay
Mitchell's motherhood journey has e ball. Katie's Crib is a
production of Shonda land Audio in partnership with I Heart Radio.
For more podcasts from Shawn land Audio, visit the I
Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to
your favorite shows, I'm chill you track, Thank You,
Welcome to Katie's Crib, a production of Shonda land Audio
in partnership with I Heart Radio. Hi everybody, welcome back
to Katie's Crib. You guys here we are. We did it.
This is the season three finale of Katie's Crib. Thank
(00:23):
you guys so much for listening. My Katie's Crib community
has been such a source of inspiration and support during
this incredibly challenging epic up and down learning and unlearning
wild Year and what we have here for the season
(00:43):
three finale is actually a two part or it's two
episodes for the price of one. That's right, folks, It
is a two for with the one and only Shay Mitchell.
I am so excited. Part one. Why we had to
do it two for I'll explain is that the first
episode Shay and I actually recorded on March twelve, that is,
(01:05):
the day before shutdown. Shane and I met in person.
This was the last in person interview I did for
Katie's Crib. We bumped elbows because we didn't know if
it was safe to hug, even though we really wanted to.
There was hand sanitizer all over the table's toilet paper
had been thought from all the grocery stores, and we
didn't know what was on the horizon. So I'm very
excited for you to listen to the version of Shay
(01:29):
Mitchell with her five month old and me with pregnancy
that I didn't know about yet. For episode two of
the finale, Shay and I just met a few days
ago because I reached out and I was like, Shay,
everyone's gonna want to know how you are now, me
me especially. And so the second episode of the season
finale is February one, Shay Mitchell in February, Katie lows
(01:55):
I have a newborn. Shay has a one year five
month old. We are in pandemic times, and yet we
understand it more. It has been a year and change
that no one ever ever ever saw coming. So here
you have it, episode one of the season finale of
Katie's christ And then once you've listened to this episode,
(02:17):
head over to part two. I am very excited to
introduce today's guest. She is an actress, she's an entrepreneur.
She is a queen of travel. She is a new
member of a of the Mom Club with a five
month old. We know her as Emily Fields and pretty
little Liars, Peach in You on Netflix, and most recently
(02:38):
Stellic Hole in doll Face on Hulu. Yes. Yes, and
I feel like I've known you for like a hundred
years through Troy and Bellasario. Everybody, welcome the one. The
only shame it Jael, Hello, Hi, thank you so much
for coming on. I feel like I just can't believe.
I don't think we've met before. We haven't, but I
really think I've met you because I've seen you on
TV obviously in the same with you, right it No,
(03:00):
but I feel like I know you. It's I'm very
um thrilled that you're here and also that now we
are going to be friends. Um, get ready for friendship,
as I like to say, UM, let's dive in. We
we guys, we've we've already been talking for like a while,
returned on these mics, so we're already like into a topic. Um,
we were talking about your beautiful daughter Atlas. I love
(03:24):
that name. Thank you. Oh my god, how did you
come up with it? I actually didn't. It was our
good friends who were coming up with a name for
their daughter, like probably about two years ago, and they
were going through the list and all of a sudden
they hit at lists and I looked at Matt and
I'm like he's like, whoa. I'm like, they can't they
can't you they can't use that one. And so we're
like telling her, We're like, uh, we don't really like
(03:45):
it exactly, you know, I thought so too um. And
then all of a sudden, you know, we called her
Atlas and then she's like, he was Atlas going to
be the name whatever? Boy girl? They no, we have
a boy named still, we always had a boy name.
I thought I was having a boy just instinctively. I
was like, I think I'm having a boy, and you
(04:06):
didn't find out. We did find out, yes, yes, so
we thought it was boy and until we did the
gender revealed. Then when it was a girl, were like,
we have no name. This is like completely you know,
changing everything we had ever thought about. So Atlas came about.
And then her middle name, Noah, actually got from Twitter.
So I did. Yes. Some fan was like, what do
(04:29):
you guys think Shane mass baby's name is going to be?
And there was like a list and then they had
Noah and it was an o A. I'm like that's sick.
I called him. I'm like Atlas Noah, and your last
name was great now Atlas. Um, you guys follow shape Mitchell. Uh,
your beautiful daughter we were talking about. She presents his
white Yes, she is very fair, scary blue eye, she
(04:51):
has light hair, and you and your husband do not.
You guys are But I'm like me and my boyfriend.
Everybody never knows that I love it because I just
you know, people like so husband, I'm like, no, my boyfriend, boyfriend. Um,
there's no ring on it, so you know. But um, yes,
Matt and I definitely look like we are mixed because
(05:15):
we are. We each have a parent who's fully Caucasian,
and then he's his dad's from trinidadad my mom's from
the Philippines. She resembles neither of them and just really
resembles my dad and his mom. So yeah, does she
have stuff from both your dad and his mom, just
the blue eyes and the fairer skin. Yeah. And he
(05:36):
was like wait what he looked at me. I was like,
I swear, you know, we wear it, so yeah, I'm
like I don't know, um, but right away I saw
her eyes and I was like, yeah, I'm pretty sure
I wasn't born with these kind of eyes, and everybody
was like, yeah, but they changed, don't that's true, you know,
And everybody did say that, but I was I knew.
(05:58):
I was like, no, she's really does have these crazy
light eyes. Now you're super famous, so people probably already know.
But I feel like I talk about this with other
moms I know whose kids don't look anything like them
and they're on the playground and people think they're the nanny.
Oh yeah, sure, like you know, people like that's not
your kid. Definitely, especially when Matt's like with her walking around,
people are like, oh, cute kid, but like not his.
(06:19):
You know, they just don't put two in two. It's
like he's holding a friend's kid and the same with me.
So it's interesting, Um, did you always know you wanted
to be a mom? Yes? I always knew that I
wanted to be a mom, but it wasn't something I
had any sort of timeline for or like you know,
I mean, I wasn't one of those girls. I never
(06:41):
planned a wedding. I personally don't want to get married.
I never had this whole expectation of like how things
were going to go. I just thought I'd like that,
so if it happens awesome. So baby was definitely in
the cards for you. But marriage You're like, no, it's
just you don't feel it. I just don't feel And
I love weddings. I you have a wedding, I'd love
to go. I'll buy it. If I love weddings, I
(07:01):
love it. But for me, I just feel like, I mean, hey,
this is the biggest commitment we could ever have. I
don't take a ring, like, hey man, I'll take a ring,
but the whole party and all of that, I just
I don't know. I love the fact that I'm like,
come and go and you can do that regardless, but
for me and no, it it's different. I feel like
(07:22):
my first fight with a him when we were married,
I was like, oh, yeah, this is something I can't
get out of as easily as before. Like I definitely
remember that being like, holy sh it, like a thing
that it's not. I mean, look, is it not because
of that? I just like, I don't know. I just
don't feel it for myself. But I love that. And
also Matty, he's your life partner in that might change,
(07:42):
like we might be seeing your wedding at well exactly
and we I like to call it a commitment party.
So eventually I want to have a commitment party. That's
what people say, is you know, kind of similar to
a wedding. But I want to make a commitment as
a family, and not just to Matt and I. I mean,
we'll be cool forever because we're her parents, but I
want to a commitment that we're going to be the
best parents for her and we're going to be like
(08:03):
fam jam you know, first and foremost, Um, was that
was planned? No, she wasn't planned. Um, yeah, she wasn't planned.
And I just kind of had a feeling when I
was pregnant, and because this was the second time, I
may not have been as excited about it. I was
(08:23):
a little scared the second time. So I basically, you know,
telling him was just kind of like, oh, yeah, so
I just took a test and I'm pregnant. Like it
was very like you know, Um, but it wasn't it
wasn't planned, was it not? Was she was here? Yeah?
She was here? Um. So you have this amazing, huge
following on social media outside of all of your amazing
(08:45):
roles on TV and film. Um, like you keep certain
I'm fascinated how you keep some of your life private though,
how like your relationship, Like how do you decide what
does or doesn't or like how do you know what
to do? Because I haven't posted a picture of my kid,
not because I judge. I just like and I'm I'm
(09:05):
a Libra. I'm really bad at making decisions, and so
when I can't make a decision, I just don't do
anything because I'm overwhelmed with fear. I mean, you're my
Matt's a Libra. Yeah, so we're like I get you,
get me. I was really excited when I found out
she was gonna be a Libra. I was like, we're
on the cusp of virgo libra. Either or I would
not mind. But I was like, if she's a Libra,
she's like Matt super chill. I don't know. Two areas
(09:27):
in the house could be really crazy. What's an aries,
what's the what's what's the I mean people say we're
a little hardheaded, um, a little stubborn. Um are you
super independent? Yeah? I am, But I'm also like being
with a Libra, like you need an area's in your life.
You need me to like kind of you know, set
the tone a little bit. Sure. So um, so, like
(09:49):
how did you decide to share the process of being
pregnant YouTube, like how did you do it? You know,
we kind of thought about it and at the beginning
we were like, Okay, I want to feel this process
just because like it's gonna be shot professionally, and like
that would be funny to look back and for her
to look back. And there wasn't really anything I was
too scared to show because I still at the end
(10:09):
of the day would have some control, right, But even then,
I mean in the editing room, we left everything in there.
So I wanted people to kind of see this whole
journey because you know, maybe one person out there could
relate to some sort of thing or find something funny
or whatever. Um. So that's why we decided to do
the show. But when it came time to thinking if
we were going to put Alice's face out there or
(10:30):
what we're we going to do at the end of
the day, I just had to think. Unfortunately, if you
were to google anybody's kid, even if you don't, you
can sometimes see it. Of course, for me, I was
just like I don't ever want somebody to fight or
like really trying a creepy way to get a photo
like let me be in control of everything first, so
that I put it out and people know when you
(10:52):
see it. Now, how much I'll put her out, I
don't know. I'm kind of just going with the flow
with this entire thing. So for right now, I mean,
is she going to look the same way right now?
Listen later? No, And I don't know when she's a
little bit older, am I going to continue to post her?
Maybe I won't. For right now, I'm like I am.
It feels good to you until it does to me,
until until it doesn't. Thank you, we were talking about
(11:23):
before we started again recording. Sorry guys, and now, um,
there's been nothing thus far knock on Wood that has
really sent you spiraling, which I also think it's very
inspiring for our listens to hear, because look, Katie's crib
is a safe space and a lot of moms come
on and are having a rough time, and like, this
is very inspiring for us all to hear that you
(11:44):
you're just rocking and moment well, And let me also
preface that with I have help first and formant, you
know what I mean, Like I had somebody help us
with nights for the first month, so that we were
able to sleep, and I had that feel weird to
you at all and loved it at the same time
because I was still watching the monitors and I love
everybody that took care of her. But it was really difficult.
(12:05):
So that was hard. There were definitely a few nights
there where I'm just like, oh my gosh, I just
go in and get her, like I should be doing this.
I should be doing this. Um And I'm not saying
like it's been sweet, it's but this is kind of no.
But there hasn't been any sort of like you didn't
struggle with postpartum depression. No, I struggled with pre So
that was something that was difficult, and I actually thought
I was going to have a hard time with post
(12:25):
just because I don't know, I had an inkling. But
with her and because of the help that we were
really are really fortunate to have, it's made it a
lot easier. So, I mean that is like you said,
it's right now, she's going to get into tea lenge,
She's gonna get in a lot of other things. We
haven't slept trained or let Yeah, there's all these things.
We're really intuitively parenting is what I like to call it.
And I don't know if I'm doing it right or wrong.
(12:47):
That goes to your chill nature, like you're just like
day by day as things come your way and how
things come in and out of your life. Tell me
about so pre depression, like you had a big bout
of it before she was here. Before she was here,
when I was probably like war four months, three or
four or five months, those were like the worst times.
And I was almost just like, oh my gosh, like
(13:08):
I'm now going to be a mom, and now being
a mom, of course, I'm like this is amazing. I
feel like a superwoman. But before I was, I was
scared because I'm like, you can't go back, Like now
you're okay, so I'm not like like cute, single, available girl,
like I'll have a kid, Like it was really hard
for me to get that. And and then I was
(13:29):
just like and then this commitment, you know with Matt,
like we're all like there's no disappearing here, like now
we're doing this, We're in it, oh my gosh. And
there was just a lot of that and a lot
of like, is it's going to change my lifestyles, It's
going to change how people look at me, Like am
I still cool? Like truly, all these thoughts went ran
through my mind. And then in addition to that, I
wasn't telling anybody at that point. I didn't want to
(13:50):
tell anybody. I felt super lone that was on the road,
and there was a lot of jealousy because I was like,
you're continuing to live your life just like you had
prior to the this, and I'm now like, I can't drink,
I can't do this, I can't do that, Like this
is really confining and I don't like being confined. How
do you feel? Now? Do you feel? I feel great?
And to be honest with you, I have tried not
(14:13):
to really miss a b Like I continue to live
my life and she is the most amazing thing that's
ever happened to it. But I am still myself. I
just now added another role, you know, into my repertoire,
Like now I'm like also a mom, like add to
the multi hyphen it And that's how I look at it.
And I want her to see that I have continued
(14:34):
to be myself because I would not want her to
do the same thing when she you know, if she
does go through this process herself. But um, I don't
know that's what my mom is still to me. My
mom had my brother and I and then went to work,
and I just saw her hustle and then come back
and still be like the best mom ever. And she
made it look so effortless. And that's what I'm like, WHOA,
It definitely is an effortless but like she made it
(14:55):
look like that. I'm that's what I'm aspiring to. How's
your work life balance? So your mom worked and that
she went back to work. I had a big effect
on you because you were like, Wow, it's possible. So
my mom was a stay at home mom, which was
like who when I had? I went back to work
when Alby was eight weeks old, But it was such
I called my mom and I was like, and I
(15:15):
think my mom did a really great job raising my
brother and myself. And I was like, I feel like
a failure already. I feel like I should have I
feel like I can't believe I'm making this choice, but
I'm I'm going to raise my son with a bunch
of other people, Like it's not going to be me
by myself at all. Also, the two weeks my nanny
was sick and I was by myself with him. It
was like I was terrible at it and I didn't
(15:36):
like it or myself. Um that's not to say someone
I have, Oh my god, I have a very good
friend who was a hot shot, like top of the
game lawyer. She had her daughter completely done, quit her job,
wanted to be home. It's her how that that's what
felt right and good to her. Um, so your mom
worked and you were like, that's going to be my
(15:57):
story and how I was very much prior to having Alice.
I was like, I'm not taking time off. I'm getting
right back into it. Like this isn't going to change that.
We all say that, right exactly. That is a bullshit statement, absolutely,
and it was because, you know, after having her, I
was like, all right, and I'm gonna slow things down.
Like I hardly took a lot of photos. I wish
I took more, but I was so present and so
(16:19):
in the moment with her for that first little bit
that it was amazing, you know, And um, did you
have a maternity leave. I'm not shooting a show right now,
so I'm kind of like it's whenever I decide, you know,
I'm like picking up my phone and I'll text a bit,
but it's I didn't really I didn't take an official leave. No,
like people still had access to me. Sure, I just
got back to them when I was ready. Great, So
(16:40):
it was nice. Yeah, great. Um, tell me about your
birth story. I remember listening to you or when I
was pregnant. I was like, oh my god, I think
I was out of my mind when I recorded that.
I feel like I need to well know, I know it,
I love it, but I need to like because your
birth story, this is odd. I think it changes. I
think your memory of it changes. Well, obviously you're changes
(17:02):
because people have more than exactly, so like your memory
of it definitely changes. What is your story at the moment,
Today's story at the moment. From what I can remember,
it was like hours or something. It was you were induced.
I was induced. My water broke. I got out of
the shower, and I was like, oh, crazy, like this
is what it feels like. It's kind of nice, Like
I don't know. I was like chilling at home for
(17:23):
the first three hours, and then I always knew I
was going to go to the hospital. I myself feel
comfortable in a hospital more so than I would at home. Um,
so you know. I called my doctor and I was like, hey,
can you meet me here. He was like, oh, you
could probably labor more at home. I'm like, no, I
feel more comfortable at the hospital. So I felt there
very similar. Yeah, like very I was like getting me
in the hands of professional exactly and the same. So
(17:48):
I went over there and then you know, obviously like
not a lot was happening. So then they were like, okay,
we're gonna give you potosa and I'm like, oh, I
remember this from all the stories that I've heard potos
and equals epidural. I'm like, I'm trying too, but if
it does, then cool. I had no birth plan. It
was really just like again, go with the front. It
was go with the flow because I mean, you can't
play it for this ship. I'm sorry, but like you
(18:10):
have a long list. It is so inspiring. Like I'm
just like, whoa, I need a dose on the regular.
So I went in they gave me pots in and
then I was like, oh, these are getting real. And
at that point I wanted to murder Matt when he
was sleeping because I was on the ball, like crying
like this is crazy, and I like almost was just
trying to prove to my dula in a way which
(18:31):
she didn't even care. But I was like, no, I
could do this for you, like if it was if
she wasn't in the very similar my dula. When I
called for the epidural, I looked at her and I said,
I feel like you're disappointed to say and she said
I am not. But I was putting that on her.
She was they really couldn't care. It wasn't that, you know,
And I'm like, I'm sorry. She's like stop. I'm like, okay,
you're good, and I'm gonna do it. Um. Anyway, so
(18:52):
then I got the epidurl and I was like, why
didn't I do this before? Like next time? Personally, I'm
walking in, give me the epidore watch a Netflix like
that's what I'm doing. Um. But then there was a
weird part with that too, because my legs were so
numb and Matt kept doing this thing. He'd come over,
lift my legs up and then drop them and be like, whoa,
you really can't feel them. I was like, bro, like
(19:15):
I can't stop doing that because I'm gonna have bruises
when I wake up from this. Okay anyways, no, um,
but it was. That was frustrating because that whole part
where I couldn't do anything because she wasn't moving was
frustrating because you're not comfortable even with the upper dolls.
It's very weird feeling to have your legs go completely weird,
you know. And then I was like, what if there's
a fire drill or I need to get up? Like
(19:36):
That's when I started having those thoughts. For a second,
let those pass, and then, um, the pushing part. It
was eleven minutes. I remember my doctor was so incredible,
came in like throughout the entire time. Um, he came
in and he was like, all right, your dial lated,
let's go. I pushed. It was eleven minutes, and I
was just like, I mean that feeling there's you can't
(19:57):
like to anybody, you just can't. It's like I was like, Oh,
there's a baby, whoa, that's mine. Oh this is real,
you know, and it's just it's it's like the craziest
high you could ever have. As nuts. It's so remarkable.
I really I really think it's the closest however your
baby comes to you. I just really think it's like
(20:19):
it's a real fucking superhero movement for sure. It's just
superhero for sure. Like it's so crazy. Um, so you
guys did choose a duela? Um did you like having that?
They're so happy I did. And I was not thinking
I was going to do that before, Like when I
heard people get deals, I'm like, Okay, that's like, what
(20:41):
are they gonna do? No, she was incredible And when
the times when Matt was sleeping and I wanted to
kill him, she stopped me. And so it was really
good to have her in the room because she was
awake with me and she just calmed me down everything
about her. So I mean I would do it again.
She too. Yeah, And I was a think birth. I
think it used to be. I think it's different in
(21:03):
other places in the world, but I think, you know,
it's interesting when you do it at a hospital. Nurses
are changing absolutely shifts all the time, and you could
have a labor that's over multiple days and you're most
of the time. If you have a partner, they don't
they don't know what then they're now. So it's just
so amazing. And your doctors and show up till the end.
(21:25):
So showed up for me. About the entire process for
a lot of people. It's not so I know that
there's one person who's been through a billion birds. Hopefully
if you go with an experienced DULA who is on
your case from start to finish, and I'll tell you
when they I think it's like they move you from
(21:45):
the labor and delivery room to the recovery room, and
she like packed up all of our ship and like,
thank God, like that small thing. I was like, I mean,
I don't have legs, they don't work. Um, my husband's
out of his mind, just met his son, and like
I need someone else to help, like bring together my
toothbrush on my into It was cool because she would
(22:06):
also get my parents were in town for two weeks beforehand,
which anyways, Um, so they that would you recommend the
next time? I'm like, next time I going to labor,
I'll call you. Because they live in Vancouver. I'm like,
I'll call you when I go to labor next time,
so you can be here at that moment instead of
waiting two weeks before. Because that put a lot of parsons.
This is stressful now because you guys are here and like,
who knows how late she's going to come. I don't
(22:27):
know but no, going back to the Andre, she was
incredible because she also like knew when I wanted everybody
out of the room, and she had a way of
doing it that didn't insult them. She can play the
bad cop. She played the bad cop and it was great. Um,
so yeah, a hundred percent will have her. What was
your postpartum situation? Like, like, did you love it? Were
you in love immediately? I know we talked to you.
(22:48):
Have you had pre um partum depression but not postpartum depression?
Did it click in right away? Did you feel the
happiest you've ever felt? Like? What did you feel? It
was wild? And I feel like, I'm so grateful for
the amazing nurses I had at theaters. I truly wanted
to stay in the room with them forever, Like it
was such a pleasant experience that I had with them.
(23:10):
They made it so lovely and helped me out with
her right away. Um, you know, the breastfeeding was really
interesting and painful. But I had other friends who had
recently had kids too, and they were like, Shay, we're
on week three. Like, if you want to continue to
do it and it works for you, it's going to
get better, saying that yes, and so I had that
in my mind because I was like, otherwise, I'm like,
(23:32):
I think I'm the only one with my nipples feeling
like that. I would be a breastfed one more day
if I hadn't had my village. And again for everyone listening,
I just I cannot emphasize enough having mothers around you.
You say, they're not mothers around you who are saying
things like you should know none of them or this
is what's best none just saying helpful things like I'm
(23:55):
a little bit ahead of you, and in my experience
it got better at eight weeks. That might not be
your case exactly. That's what I can tell you. And
I would hear things like that and I'd be like, okay,
like they like maybe I can, maybe I can. Um. Yeah,
I just feel like that's great that you had that. Um.
You posted like the most speaking of breastfeeding, gorgeous photo
(24:16):
of yourself breastfeeding back in December, and did you just
get so much attenion. I mean, it's the whole normalizing
breastfeeding thing is. To be honest, I wasn't even trying
to do that. I was at a photo shoot with
my style of seeding and then because she was there
and we got a photo and I loved it and
(24:38):
I put it out and you know, it's so interesting.
It was Socian Mitchell. You didn't even like know that
this would like waves. And I mean everything I've done
when I was pregnant now that everything is kind of
made a wave in one way or another. And like,
if I really care that much, I'd be up and
down every day, so I don't um. But with that,
it was interesting because people were just like, how dare
(24:59):
you make it looks so glamorous? And I'm like, I
was dressed up, but it does look glamorous in this time.
It does it all the time. They were thinking like
maybe this was a breastfeeding photo shoot. Yeah, and then
I was just trying to and then you know, they're like,
you make it uncomfortable for other people who don't look
like this when they breast me. I'm like, no, I'm
not trying to do that. I was at a photo shoot.
(25:19):
I had a full glamb team and this is what
it is. But like, let me tell you, I'm in
my sweatpants majority of the time, you know. And also
that's a fucking dope photo. And I hope you blowed up. Yeah,
and I am. But I'm also like, why do when
people think that we're doing things as a mother, do
you always have to picture a stained shirt? It's not
always like that. And that pissed me off because I
was like, I am in a stain shirt most of
the time, but when I am not, we can also
(25:41):
be glamorous in a dress of feeding our child, Like,
who were you to tell me? I don't know. That's
my whole feeling. I don't really get that crazy about
it because it makes me laugh. Did you breastfeed ever
in public? Or did you feel like that in public? Did? Yeah?
I just and you Like, I was sort of like,
I mean again, I'm such a rule follower and type
of person, but I loved sort of rebelling, like I'd
(26:02):
be this is the one time in public I'm going
to have my tid out and everyone just has to
deal with it. Like I just was like, like I
at first, I was like all about covering and all
this stuff, and then I started hanging out with Kristen Bell,
who was like, are you kidding? She was like and no,
like her, Dax said that the more people that would
come over, the more times she would breastfeed with her
boot out, Like it's like it just it is, it
(26:23):
is what it is. I'm just like if I'm there
at the gym and I'm not like hello everybody, but
like I'll just do it. I just don't think about
it anymore. Like we take her out to dinner and
we go to you know places out there, and I'll
just take her out and beat her. You founded this
(26:48):
incredible luxury travel line. I'm obsessed with travel. We need
to talk about this. Pronounced the beautiful name for me
ba ba yes, Um, tell me about the latest collection
you're rolling out, Like, tell me how you're helping moms.
I feel like you and I are kindred spirits in
the travel world. I'm obsessed with traveling. My kid's been
on a fifty seven flights in his two and a
(27:09):
half year amazing. Um. He's been to seven countries. Travel
is the one place. It's my most favorite things, more
than anything on the planet. Um. And it's important. It
was Honestly, I can remember when Adam and I were
having we planned our son, but like we were having
so many conversations. We the one time we had to
go to couples therapy was because I was not. I
(27:30):
was so scared that having a child was going to
change my ability to travel because it's where I feel best,
and I'm curious, how have you traveled with her? It's
a big value for you as well. Obviously you have
an entire line of loggage. Yes, travel for me was
always I mean, like you said, it was my first love.
(27:51):
It's my favorite thing in the entire world. And you know,
when I was traveling, I always kind of look at
other people's bags and I look at my own bags,
and yes, you know, the stuff that was super funsy
but still to me doesn't seem as functional was always
way out of my budget. And the stuff, you know
that was affordable, it was just looked affordable, like looked
very cheap, and it was cheap and fell apart, and
(28:12):
then I was like, oh, I need something in the
middle that, you know, it was functional and cute and
maybe just a solid color, like maybe not paink with unicorns.
I love unicorns, but maybe I don't always want that
where I'm getting affordable luggage, like I want just cheek
luggage that has really functional and so I'd be on
the plane. I just draw up these ideas. You know,
it could be the weight indicator that we added to
(28:33):
our luggage, because all the times that I go there,
there's weight indicates you lift the handle and as the floor. Yeah,
of course, because I don't wear a genius who thinks
to buy literally who's standing on a scale and then
I'm having a hold the scale, Well, I'm on it.
It's so dup. I'm gonna you're good. I'll send you.
(28:55):
And it was everything from like the handle, you know,
I remember being like, if I'm running to a flight,
like the handle would really cramp my hand and when
I was holding it, so I put a cushion under
all the handles, and people this is genious. Yeah, But
it was just because I had so much experience on
the road and on the go, I'd come up with
these things that I selfishly wanted to create for myself.
You know, Like sitting there and looking at the airplane
(29:16):
pocket in front of you, I was like, that's disgusting.
There needs to be a pocket that I can put
in so my laptop and stuff I don't have to
go reaching forward in the pocket. So I thought organizer exactly.
So all these different things kept coming to me and
I was like, you know what. You know, people would
have been asking like, or you need to have a
makeup line, You're gonna do a clothing line? Like I
love those things, but I don't have an interest in
doing them. I really want to go into the travel
(29:38):
market because I feel like there's a white space for
it and that I can fill um. And so that's
kind of how Base came about. And now most recently,
we just dropped our diaper bag collection, which I'm super
excited about because when I was looking for bags, you know,
it was like the two designer ones and then the
other ones that to me personally, I wasn't into. They
looked like diaper bags. And I don't want to ride
(29:58):
away be like, oh you have diapers in there. No,
I want to be able to take it to a
meeting and then I have my daughter with me and
people be like that's a cute bag, no matter if
their mother or not, you know. And so that's how
our diaper bag collection came about. And truly, if you
take out the changing pad, it's a chic bag. It's
just a ch Why are we just why are diaper
bags so shitty? I don't know, I really don't know,
(30:21):
because It's like, why, like they're carrying shooty things inside, Like,
can we just not make it look like just I
don't hate when things scream, like because I have a
functional and so people are crazy. To be functional, they
don't have to look like diaper bags. We're literally doing
the sickest diaper bag backpack that I'm like, I can't.
(30:43):
I'm so excited about this because it transforms into like
a different kind of bag, two bags. I'm just going
to leave it at that, but I'm telling you, it's
a transformer. It's a transformer. It's chicaf and the stuff
that we have coming for Mom's babies, all of that
kind of stuff, and the travel world is so exciting.
This is this is good. Um, So with that, have
(31:05):
you taken Atlas on trips? Yes? I took her too Thancouver.
I feel it was her first trip to visit my grandma,
and so that was incredible. Um, she did a plane ride,
we did a helicopter ride to the island, and then
after that we had to go to Paris. So I
took her to Paris and it was I mean, honestly,
I mean, I think she's truly my child and living
(31:26):
into her name. Because she loves an airplane. Like she
is great. You know, she's up and then she'll sleep,
but for right now, for right now, because I could
just hear people being like, wait until like she crawls,
wait until she It was really only bad for us
when he learned how to walk, because it was like
cajing a gorilla. He doesn't have to sit for six hours.
He wants to keep practicing, and he wants to go
(31:49):
up and down the aisles and he wants to crawl,
and we did. I mean, I've never gotten in that
many steps ever. See, I'm excited for that moment because
that's when Matt's going to take over. You know, that's
up and down. I'll be here and then we'll go
and hang out in the bathroom for like three like
a while, and he just pulls out all the toilet
paper and all the stuff. UM tell me about um
(32:11):
any self care routine tips like are you like a meditator?
How do you're just chill as fuck? Like I'm not,
because because what's the alternative? Like are you sleeping out?
Did you sleep immediately? But I don't really sleep. I
didn't sleep prior to Atlas that much like I don't
really sleep a lot. That was the one benefit of
me going into this is that I wasn't used to
(32:32):
having a lot of sleep regardless. But to me, I'm
always asking, I'm like, is this a crazy big deal
whatever it is that I'm you know, in and will
we be like what's the alternative? Dressing out and freaking
out and then what like that doesn't accomplish anything either,
and like no one wants to be around that. And
like Matt super chill too. He's a little bit more
of a hypochondract than I am, but I bring him
(32:53):
back down. I'm like, she's fine, You're fine. Has she
had like a major cold or throw I had diarrheas,
I had a january and and you know I had
heard and read. I was like, oh but if I'm
resting her, she won't get it. If she got it,
so she Yeah. It was It was, you know, so
sad because but he was right there with the whole
like snot sucker. I couldn't do that. I still can't,
(33:16):
but he's a pro at it and like Sailene snot Sucker,
like he was getting in there and totally crushing it
with her. Um, but it were you afraid. Ever, No,
fear is not your go to. It's just but yeah,
it's not because it's like that doesn't help anything. No, No,
I'm super cautious. Trust me, Like I have hands, Sandy,
I'm always prepared to the max. I'm prepared, but I'm
(33:38):
not going to stress out because I also feel like
that energy in my mind sufconsciously, like through osmosis and
all that stuff. I truly believe that it can seep
into them sometimes and then cause her to be a
little bit more anxious. I don't want that. I want
to be like even Keel super cool. So if she
is scared, you know, she's like, oh, but I don't
feel it from you, so we're good. You know. It's
like how you look at the flight attendants on the plane.
(33:59):
I'm always like, Okay, is she okay, she's not looking
like she's freaking out. We're good. I need to be
that flight attendant at all times for them. You know,
do you ever feel mom guilt? Is that a thing
for you or is it? Because like I said, I
want her to know that, Like I'm continuing, the better
I feel and the better my mind is, the better
I'm going to be for her, you know, the happier
I am, And like that's really important for me. I
(34:21):
have to go out and I need to go and
do my workouts fit that in. I need to fit
in my time with my girlfriends without her there. I
need to fit out in times with Matt you know
where it's she's not there, so that like my sanity
is good and when I come back, she's getting That's
really the thing that Troy and said that didn't try.
I think Troyan on her podcast was like, it's the
whole I put my mask on first on the airplane
(34:43):
bringing it back to Tremble, but like you put your
mask on first, so you feel God, s Mitchell, you're inspiration. Good.
Let's just say how amazing it is to have a
Troy and Bellisario in our lives too. Is im oh
my last weekend And like she's like French and all
(35:04):
sign language and all the stuff. I'm like in French
to her child and sign language. It's so dumb. But
she also is also a very chill mom. She is
also very chill. Um I would say, between us and
all the listeners, I think you're even chiller, which is
incredible to me. Um I think she's my chill mom friend,
like she's the one, and wow, you're even more so.
It's amazing. Um um, what is next for you? Oh
(35:26):
my gosh, are you like ready to jump in and
have another baby now? And Matt was like, why don't
you just like you know, get it done, yeah, run
it back? And I'm like, well you want to. I'd
be more than happy to support you on your journey
of you delivering one. But for me, right now, I
want to enjoy her and I want to see her
like grow up a little bit and walk and do
(35:47):
all these like little important first things with her right now.
And then you know, who knows, who knows, who knows
what's going to happen for the next one, Like I
don't know, but I'm enjoying it right now and it's
and yeah's next for you? Work wise? Work wise? Going
back to work on doll phase per season two? Where
does it l A? I know that dream? I know
(36:10):
it's really nice. And you mean having the other girls
on the show too is awesome because she'll have like
three other like aunties. Are you the only mom on
the show of Yes, that's great and important. That's an
important torch to carry. I always think, no matter what
job place you're in, if you are the first to
be you know, doing the mom journey, it's like you're
(36:30):
really setting precedent for a lot of people who worked there. Yeah,
and they said the same thing when I was pregnant,
because they're like funck sha, like now when we're bring
we can't complain about this stuff. And I was like,
because because you didn't come because I was pregnant at
six months shooting these shows and like and it was
you know, like we all know, crazy long hours. I
was wearing heels, that's my character war. I was so
(36:51):
like obsessed with her being this like fashionista person. So
I was like, well more heels better. And that was
at three months. Six months. I was like, don't fit exactly,
but no, it was it was. It was good and
it was fun and it was like cool that I
proved it to myself I could do it. At the end,
I was ready for it to be done because I
was like, Okay, I can't go on any longer. And
I don't know who saw it, but I'd highly suggest
(37:13):
running diapers if you're still probably like that to me.
I wore diapers. Yeah, I wore diapers on Broadway. Oh amazing.
Like I was like horrified because I hadn't done anything
like really physical and I just six a month old
and we were doing like lifts and throws and I
was running, and I was like, I don't know, guys,
this could come out of left field and I could
just dump a whole lot of yurine all over this
Broadway st and diapers. Prior to that, I'm saying, when
I was on set shooting those long hours, I was
(37:34):
like the bathrooms all the way. Okay, basing What is
your advice for new moms out there, I would say,
don't stress yourself out because in your mind you're like,
I'm not doing this right. I'm not perfect. Like look
by the way, your kids not holding a grudge. They're
not keeping tally of what you're doing right or what
(37:55):
you're doing wrong. They're really not. They want you to
love them and give them attention, and I mean they
feed off that energy. I truly believe that. So when
you were super stressed out, I mean, just try and
pull it back a little bit and be like what
I got this, you got this, you got this. And
also you can reach out to someone who can help
you absolutely, and there are always there's places you can
(38:15):
go to talk about things if you're not feeling well.
There's so many amazing places out there. Wow, incredible, and
you're not even like a meditator for twenty minutes a
day now. And my parents, my dad took me to
meditation when I was younger, So I still like, maybe
that's wow, it all sunk. Maybe dads are like I
have no idea. A lot of those self help books,
he'd always have it on a books. Maybe that played
(38:35):
a part two. But you can tell us what meditation
school you're dad took you to, or what audio tapes
he was putting on it. If we played them for
our children, they might be really chill like you. Um,
but thank you so much for being on Katie's Crib.
This was so helpful and also just so beautiful to
talk to a mom who's rocking it. Um, Atlas is
beautiful and you are beautiful, And thank you so much
(38:56):
of you. Thank you, thank you for having me. H,
thank you guys so much for listening to episode one
of the two part episode finale of Katie's Crib Season three.
I invite you all to listen to episode two with
(39:20):
Shae Mitchell in February of one Let's Hear How Shay
Mitchell's motherhood journey has e ball. Katie's Crib is a
production of Shonda land Audio in partnership with I Heart Radio.
For more podcasts from Shawn land Audio, visit the I
Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to
your favorite shows, I'm chill you track, Thank You,
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