“‘No.’” (w/ Ego Nwodim)

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Look, man, oh, I see you? Why why? And look
over there? How is that culture? Yes, I guess it's
the return of the king, the lord of the rings
down the Council of l round. Can I say, you
know what's really fun to do to teach a straight

(00:22):
man the word boots, because you're setting them up for
failure and misuse. So basically, and maybe this is my
misunderstanding of it, but I always feel like boots is
the way you end a sentence. It's like a gay period.
Like the way that our guests came in here today.
It was giving Regal excellence. It was giving Regal excellence boots.

(00:43):
And so I'm working on the show and our director
is and I'm going to shout him out because, let
me tell you, I'm obsessed. His name is Andy de
Young and he's directed all your favorite shows and he's
directing I love that for you, and I loved it.
He's wonderful. And so he sort of caught me in
like a fantasia on the side of the room and
I was sort of spinning around by landed word boots,
and he said, what's that? And so I've taught him

(01:04):
boots and so sometimes he'll come over and give a note,
and he'll just say boots and walk away. And isn't
that great? I believe the children our future. It's I
feel like it's always great when a director can take
a note. Yes, when you can give a director a
note and say, hey, maybe try this next one by
ending it with boots. Yeah, and he kissed me and

(01:25):
not and I say, that's cute. Now you do this
actors on set, any time a director gives you a note,
you have to give one back. That's the rule. That's
how sets work. Yeah. The way that sets work is
it's a conversation, you know what I mean. Like you
as an actor are in conversation with the writers, the directors,
the producers, the show runners, the network, and you're always

(01:47):
have to give them feedback. You have to give them
feedback constantly and honest and honest. You know, there's no
such thing as authority or a pecking order in those environments. Really,
I mean, this is honestly, can we get real, Let's
get let's get real. For once, I was having a
conversation with a friend of ours. Okay, Nardino love industry.

(02:08):
Boy has grown up in the in the business, grew
up in the Hills of Hollywood, grew up in the
hills of Hollywood, and he said something so real to me.
What did you say? This said, Well, he basically was like,
everyone's just scared. Everyone's just terrified. Like you can just
barge into any office and freak them out and they
will do what you tell them to. And I'm kind
of like, I will never it will never get to
that point with me where I am like, put the
fear of God and someone. But I'm like, I think

(02:30):
there's a truth to that. Who was scared? I was scared?
I was scared dot Tyra Banks, dot Gift, I was
scared scared? Is this after that girl painted I was scared? Scared?
I was scared. We didn't even mention that on our
Tyra Banks like we we ran down the list of
Tyra Banks iconic minds, and they didn't even get to
who was scared? I was scared? And we also didn't scared.

(02:51):
I was scared. I was scared scared. It's so true.
I mean, listen, first of all, can I just say
something I found out recently? Yes, did you know? The
podcast has been cited in academic work for our insight
into the entertainment industry. I wish I was kidding because
it sounds like the stupidest, dumbest thing I've ever heard
that anyone would listened to this and say, we're gonna,
we're gonna need to cite this in academic work. But

(03:13):
it's true. This podcast has been cited in academic work
to new this podcast has received critical acclaim. My two
favorite things on our Wikipedia page are the podcast has
received critical acclaim period a boots and the podcast has
been cited in academic work for their insight into the
entertainment industry. And it's also on my Wikipedia. Rogers has
been cited in academic work for you No no, no,

(03:35):
no no. It is both the best and it's also
on my Wikipedia. And I don't know if you've read
your own Wikipedia yet, sick, but if you did, you
might be in there for your academic insight mine, which
is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Like, sorry, this
is where we're speaking as to people who unfortunately have
Wikipedia pages. Sorry sorry, but um Mine has and his

(03:57):
famous for his viral lip sync videos And I'm like,
well you are, but I kind of want to just
burn it all down. Then then, why were you on
the other two doing it because honestly, that was that
was a big point of contention, and I'm gonna get real.
I was like, I wasn't really I didn't want to
do it because you didn't want to be known as
miss lip Sync. Yeah, because I feel like I closed
the book on that with with my guests spot On

(04:19):
Girls five ever and then but the girls kept clamoring, well,
the girl being Sarah Snyder who had to call me
and convince me, and it felt very Hollywood. The insight
into the entertainment industry. Speaking of speaking of Kings, listen,
speaking of the entertainment industry. We'll have a real player
here today. So everyone that wants insight into the entertainment

(04:42):
industry is going to be thrilled with this one because
we have an amazing star. I've learned so much about
the industry through our guests, soldiers back walking into any
room and saying, I'm King, deal, there's boots. There has
never been a moment that I have been in King's presence.

(05:07):
I don't know, I've never I've never been around here
and thought, well, I want to leave this situation. I've
never been around King and thought, I mean never, I
am so excited she's here. We actually the noise we
made when we first saw her was this one, two three,

(05:29):
everyone welcome. Oh my god, what are you doing on
Bowen Yang's Wikipedia a lot of paragraphs, So I thought,
let me go straight down to personal life openly gay?

(05:50):
Did we get? No? Personal life is one sentence. It reads,
Yang resides in the Clinton Hill neighborhood of Brooklyn. No longer.
He does not live in a Clinton Hill neighborhood of Brooklyn.
Please update it. Cite this podcast as your source. That's
what I was doing in my manners. I'm sorry. I

(06:13):
don't mean to I didn't mean to shame shame. You
can't phone shame people these days, No, because there needs
to be on it for work. Yeah, there was such
a window for people need to be It was funny.
I was on my phone at dinner like like three
months ago and with my parents, and my mom was like,
can you get off your phone? And my dad was like,
he's got to be on it for work, on it

(06:38):
for work. It was like maybe six months in the
culture where you could acceptably be the person at the
dinner table who goes everyone phones in the middle yeah,
oh yeah, And Honestly, that is a social situation. I
would leave. Yes, I would actively have been like I'm good. No,
we're not, We're not. I'm an adult. I haven't aversion
to people telling me what to do. Yeah, a big time,

(06:59):
just like why. I don't know what it is, but
I think it's an abnormal amount. Like when I was
a kid, if I was going to clean my room
and I used to keep a messy room kid, and
I was going to clean my room on this particular Saturday.
But if anyone in my house said to me, you
need to clean your room, might be like, well, no,
I'm not doing I mean when you came in here,

(07:19):
we said sit in this chair, and you said absolutely not,
I'm going to sit in that chair. And it was
a bit and you are sitting in the your O
G chair, But ha, do you wanted to sit in
that chair? I would have respected. I would have respected.
Imagine just telling people no, no, no, And I've been
doing it since I was well, it's a full sentence.
That's a rutal culture. Number. Well it's a full sentence,

(07:43):
and that's a fact. Motherfucker's okay, but you you okay?
Is it an authority thing? Or is it just being
told what to do by anybody? It's being told what
to do by anybody and then authority. I was always
the like, sure, sure, I'll consider doing that, but why
explained to me why we're doing so? You on a
set of a television show or film director comes up

(08:04):
to you, says, ago, can we try that? Were you hurt? I? Like, no, No,
I like the version I did where I was actually
okay and content with it. Okay, Well I think we
got that right. Yeah? Do you think we could know? Okay? Great?
When we can move on? All right? And then you
save the whole save the crew that the production doesn't

(08:25):
go into like debt trying to pay people over time
today and the mother hero and you say no fatter
days and then the crew all goes ok. They do
and then they bow at my feet. You know they
don't do that. They don't do that. Guys, I don't.
I'm not, I'm not this person on clear it up,

(08:49):
let's clear it up. Do you get sick of me?
Answer this? Honestly? Do you get sick of me? Yes?
This is real? Do I get do you get sick
of me constantly being like no one more graceful employees. No,
I love it, thank you so much. I do it
any single time because I don't know if I'm graceful
and as poised as people perceive me to be, but

(09:11):
I'm here for the grace is in the No, the
grace is in the I'm not doing that, but you
know what, it's also because I'm like, I think the
very My friend last and I went out to dinner
with my friend and he's like, yeah, you're just so
good at being like No. I just had the same
exact conversation and he's like, I'm always people pleasing and

(09:33):
I'm like, yeah, but also there's like a bunch of
people that don't like me for it. But I also
don't care name names. It's funny because I don't think
they'd want me to know. I'd be like, I know,
you know, I know that you don't like me because
I say no. But it's not popular opinion to be
held to not like, so you have to suffering. Sce

(09:55):
not popular popular not to be held to not no. No,
I sucked it up. It's not it's not a popular
opinion to hold that like to like you are unlikable.
That I'm unlikable. But I also don't. But I also
but it's also okay, I don't. I genuinely I don't
care if people like me. And I sound like this

(10:15):
is my like I'm walking into real world, real world
road rules challenge to make friends. It's not that. It's
just that I'm like, what a burden to bear to
be thinking about who likes you all the time? Like
that seems exhausting to me. And I tried it once
and I was like, oh my god, I can't do it.
I don't know what it is. I I have that thing.
I think it's from I care so much. I care

(10:37):
so much that And you know what's funny is that
it is an impossibility for everyone to like you that
you come across and then they'll you ever have like
a first interaction with someone that just goes a little
bit left and then and then they walk away and
you're like, wait, no, you like me, Yeah, you just
don't know ye yeah yeah, And you feel I fixate
on that person, But do you fixate on this the

(10:59):
same way because you actually you are more detached than
the two of them. Well, my brain will sometimes go
like that. More so I'll play like a social interaction
over in my head and like, oh that was Oh
my goodness, I could be perceived this way. It was
like my boyfriend yelling out of the window you should
tell him. And then my brain was I was like,
I need to address this right now and explain. I
was going to the fact that I was going to

(11:21):
tell you this thing. But now my boyfriend has made
it seem like I had no intention to like skirts away,
and I'm like, I don't want you to leave this
interaction now, thinking ago had this important thing she was
supposed to tell me and she wasn't gonna tell me.
What a fake bitch. But that's someone I care about.
That's someone I care about, So no, I don't. I
will walk away from interaction to be like, well whatever

(11:42):
most of the time, most of the time, but every
once in a while I will be like I will
play an interaction over and over and over in my head.
Oh I wasn't. I didn't show up well in that one. Men.
You know, I'm still human, but part of me wants
to just kill that instinct in my head. Well it's

(12:02):
it's like I would like to kill the instinct in
my head for myself because I know what damage I
can do to myself when I go down the road
of like, uh, what did I do wrong? How do
I have to be malleable in every social situation to
make sure that people like me? But more more of
it is just like what I what I hope to
get rid of is this thing of like assuming that
everyone will like you, period, because we're in the like

(12:25):
if you're like putting yourself out there as a thing,
and like, you know, it's like the entertainment instant blah
blah blah. It's like people are allowed to have their
opinion on you. Guys. That's just that's just they're right,
Like we have opinions about people on this podcast for
all the do DA day. If you put yourself out there,
you are you know, you're you're up for up for debate,
but you are up your existence is up for debate.

(12:50):
The way you exist is up for debate. But the
way you exist is up for debate. But also I
like people who are bold, who are boldly themselves, whatever
that might be. And so if you are boldly yourself,
surely someone on this planet, there are billions of people
on this planet, is going to have an opinion that
is like not favorable towards you because you've taken a

(13:13):
stance of sorts of like this is how I live
and someone's not going to like. Then then some people
are going to absolutely adore, and then like a vast
majority of people are just not thinking about you. And
that's actually the biggest thing is that you realize. It's
like that thing of when you put an outfit on
and you fox with it, like in your hair, the
little tiny things, and then you're like, oh, wait, no

(13:35):
one fucking cares anywhere near as much as I do.
And that is so freeing. Yeah, you can be also
crushed by that knowledge too, where you're like, wait, people
don't care. Yeah, well they can't. I'm saying that it
can go, it can it can come. I'm not being

(13:56):
looked at and I'm not being people aren't staring at
me and being like, oh what about this person is
going on that level of like they don't care. No
one's taking me in cat is it? No? But but
but but good try you know what, you know what
the thing about me, I'll always try, you know, And

(14:18):
is that not a rule of culture? You know one
thing about me I'll always try? King you have a
traveled Aura about you, because I feel like you've been places.
My vibe is off. First, it's not what you're saying. No,
my I have been seeing stars for a week. I

(14:38):
talked about that, went on a vacation of sorts. Of sorts,
we'll say less about that. And then I got I
came back And this has happened twice now in the
last six months, where I go on a trip to
somewhere kind of tropical. On the plane home, I start going, hmmm,

(15:01):
something is afoot. You got the revenge. I got the revenge,
and I'm like, oh, no, I didn't do anything to Montezuma.
I personally don't know. The motherfucker was not was nowhere
near the place that you were in exactly exactly, and
like she was vacation somewhere else. I was vacationing somewhere else.
But somehow Montezuma was so obsessed with me, and I

(15:24):
was sick for over a week and so but just
like seeing stars, that's like fainting language, but because I
was dehydrated, but I didn't realize it. I didn't realize
I was dehydrated. So then I'm like a person who
when I'm sick. I don't want to be at all,
and so I like pushed through. I'm like, we're fine,
we're fine, but stomach, stomach stuff is it'll really happy out.

(15:46):
And so anyway, I was trying to be like, I
think we're past it. We're past it. That was a day,
but then every day this past week has been like, no,
you're not. Just lay in the bed. And so that
bitch Montezuma got me. But guess what I'm coming for you.
I'm coming she will get. Feuding with Montezuma. That's huge, huge,

(16:07):
that's the biggest feud since I'll say Nicki and Mariah,
Oh are they de think were the squashed it? I'm
sure they're not thinking about it anymore. I mean they've
both moved on to bigger and better, moved on to
bigger and better. Where was I? Where were you? Montezuma's house?

(16:29):
Can you name the last great? Because I think you
and I both want luxury vacation experience and we've chased
that for years and we haven't. Really nothing's really gotten
gotten us. Okay, I will say the last one, the
last where I go, Okay, we've done it, we're doing

(16:49):
it right. But now I think I'm gassing it way
too much in my head. Sea Fire kimpt in resort
in Grand Cayman. That's lovely. Jody was just there. Oh great,
I saw yeah, and I thought a ve snl and
I was like, you're in the best place on the planet.
It sounds. When I went, I took my mom. Yeah,

(17:12):
I was really sweet. Um. And it was right after
a labor day, so this is the weekend after, so
everyone was back to school, back at work. You know.
It was like you had the grade before and it was,
I mean, wonderful, But I now I need to go
back before I vouched for it like that, because I
am like, are you just big upping this for another reason?

(17:35):
Is it actually lure? I think it is. I think
the service at the Sea Fire Kimpton's yes, it really.
It was like I in a place to like in
a place where the bar was just lower, but I
don't think so. I felt luxurious and the service was
fantastic and the water was blue. Oh see, that's something
I would really like to go somewhere where you come

(17:57):
back and you go and the water was so blue.
I think I've ever been because those people that is
something people say when they're like the water was blue.
It's like remember the famous episode of Kardashians or she
loses her earring and she freaks and one of the
sisters like, there's worse things happen, people are dying, and
because she was crying because of her earring, like zooming out,

(18:20):
the water there was really blue. Yeah, yeah, you have
to think that's the thing. That's the vacation I have
been chasing, is that like blue water, lovely hotel, just lounge,
go to a spa if you will, And I have
not yet since I think see Fire Kimpton is maybe it.
I'm thinking about going to Hawaii at some point because

(18:44):
I've never been there, and I feel that that could
come predict that place. Hawaii is a blue water place.
I found myself in Hawaii, Okay, what says? I feel
like a big part of your your tent poles in
life are vacations. And I think you and I share that. Yes, Yes,
And I found truly. I maybe because I'm a pisces.

(19:04):
I don't know. Astrology is like I it's cool too.
It's like a little game to me. Yeah, I'm and
this is king, Okay King. I didn't know King was Pisces.
I'm just having a eight Okay, I'm tent. What so
five days later I were born? But different year? Well
that doesn't really matter. You can I ask you questions rising? Oh? No, okay?

(19:28):
Which one? What does rising represent? How you show up
in the world is how you are? Is you're You're
presenting Capricorn and I'm Pisces. You're Pisces. I'm a dripping, wet,
soaked blue water vacation squirtl ass um tuna, deep diving

(19:53):
motherfucking Michael Phelps asked, gold medalist soaked to the bone. Yes, yes,
seafood fish boots high seas. That's a motherfucking That's not
a part of me, is drying. Wow, Well, we aspire

(20:15):
and we aspired. But that's why I wanted to ask,
because I'm so soaking wet that when you said that,
I was like, I want to see how deep no
pun intended it goes? Is it those little little fish
with the lights on its head? I mean, let me
tell you. I I need I need water. I need
to be in it. I need I'm drinking water to it.
I need to be buy it. I need to I

(20:36):
need I need water at all time, and so the
hydration station, Miss Baltimore Crabs crab what do you guys
call me? Miss crab cakes crab belly. And there was
a season where Hidie and Bowen were committed to making
my life hell and they posed it as a bit,

(20:59):
but they were bullies. By the way, I want to
confront you on last confront me. She's been saying this
for weeks months. I've been meaning to confront you, she said,
she said, I've been meaning to confront you on last
cultural rista. Please, I'm so glad you asked me to
be here. Why were you bullying me so viciously? Vicious?

(21:20):
I was a repertory player at the High I think
I think Ago had the best bit around being promoted
ever in the history of essen l. She got promoted
to repertory in her third season and walked stomped these halls,
the hallowed halls, saying you better treat me differently. I'm

(21:41):
rep now, I'm rep And you were trying to sort
of knock her down a peg. Matt, can you believe it?
Actually I can't constantly, but by Bowen, king, you don't
write me into your sketches. I wanted to be in.
I wanted to be in you want to. I wanted

(22:04):
to be the niece and Dion Warwick. I couldn't do that.
I could not do that. I think we'd have more
problems than fun. I don't let me bo. Let me
do my impression of of the niecession. I won't. I
really want to impression of the impression of the niece

(22:27):
on Dion. Why is that low energy? It's okay, on Dion,
you look great? Thank you? Wait wait, thank you, brittany On.
It's not machine gun Kelly this time. I promise, all right,
bring them out. Can I just wait? Hold on, real, real, real,

(22:49):
real talk, get real right now or else the moment
you know, those moments you were just like you don't
even know that you because this is my sister, you
know what I'm about to talk. First of all, this
is casy scorpio. I know the moments when something happens

(23:11):
to someone you care about and all it is is
pure happiness. And you're talking about when Dion was really there.
Thank you did know, and knowing is more than half.
This is to breast on a on a human. I
would love for you to lay on my chest, each
of you, one on the left one on the right.

(23:35):
Agos egos shown me? Can I say, show me the
ted I have there? Gordons? They really are They're so beautiful,
They're really beautiful. And I'm really you should be proud
of talking about this. I think it's fine. The thing is,
I wonder if I should say this public say it. Well, no,
I'm kind of it's it's not a bad thing. It's
like sometimes I fancy, like I fancy myself a nudist

(23:57):
without having any knowledge of what that really entails. But
I do think, like I don't care. Bodies are great,
like we should all be. There's no there's no like,
there's no like the ethos to being nudists, Like you
just show up in your naked yeah. And so I'm like,
so a bit of a nudist in that regard. And
so I did not show him during work hours. In

(24:20):
case anyone's wondering, Yes, this was off off the clock,
you know, I'm r Oh my god, I didn't know
where to like locate you guys. So think you could
just text me, okay, cool text um. So, yes, I
did show but my breast, but also we're married. YEA.
Presumably it was in the marital space. Where are we

(24:43):
at right now, because you're talking about your boyfriend. I
need space, Okay, I haven't seen you in weeks, I know,
and it's because I need space. Allow me to have space.

(25:03):
You had your boyfriend shouting out of a car window
at you. He's always shouting at me, by the way,
when you were last on Last Coach, you did not
have the boyfriend? No, well, well, well, well, when I
was last well when yes, okay, had you met him?
King was one of our first guests on zoomed post

(25:26):
post And then no, I had not. I had met him.
I had met him, by the way at that time,
but we were not. It's life is love life I
got that was so much fun. That was really fun.
And Will is an incredible actor, and just be having

(25:47):
to rise to the occasion of acting opposite him was
like a fun a very fun challenge. That was a
fun one. Well, you guys, I don't know. It was
just because I mean that episode was like a full
full King Right after was King did text King? King text?
King texted King. I stopped King in the hallway. Do
you remember this? I go King, and you said, I

(26:08):
just watched your episode And then and then you said,
a lot of people are going to be praising your
work in that, but I want you to know that
I think your hack your hack. You're not good at
what you do. And I didn't believe a single moment.
That's what she said. And then I said, okay, Bowen, thanks.
I say, hey, mama, stick to sketch, stick to the world. Yeah,

(26:33):
it looked cute card. That's where that's where your eyelan
is going to be. Stick to the cute cards. Don't
try any of this other stuff. You know. He was
very sweet, very sweet and complimentary. It was hard left.
We went hard left. So you had met You had
met him, I had met him. We don't have to
talk about him. We would want to talk. Do you

(26:54):
know about what we come through? Can we? I love him,
by the way him, he's amazing, but in general, but
King and I have King and I have checked in
just in general terms with our growth. Yes, I mean
since she's been on the pod, we've both been on
separate journeys because we both would lament and and just

(27:18):
really like commiserate with each other about how it's so
crazy how neither of us have been smanged in these
relations but yet but you were getting smanged. Not really.
Oh and you want to know something, sang bang smushed
in bankshed smashed and bang bang bars on the floor.

(27:41):
That's like, it's like it would you human beings need
to do that, some of them you're in a long
term relations so I was. And so this is why
I haven't I haven't seen you that one. That one
uh ended but very amicably and well, um, but you
know sort of what happens when a relationship ends is
that it gives opportunity to go out and get as

(28:03):
you guys say, smang, which I love, okay, we love that, Okay, okay,
but we have grown. I feel like since I can
actually chart the growth and the evolution a little bit
of of the three kings. I certainly know you. I
know about your journey, but I don't know whether you're
sharing the journey. I are we sharing the journey? We

(28:23):
maybe shouldn't share the journey, okay, because because it's it's
the journey is a big question mark. And then then
the journey is not over. And that's one thing about journeys. Well,
the journey never ends, and that's a fendi fact. But
I just think I think that's rule of culture. Actually
the journey never ends. And that's a Fendi factory. What's

(28:48):
your label of choice? What do you do? You want
a Fendi thing, you want a Gucci product? I want
a Jimmy Chew Jimmy Chew Bonobos of course. But did
you drink any high school? I did not. I didn't
even really drink in high school. I was like a
good kid. I was a little thing. But I also

(29:17):
I feel like, yeah, I'm like I grew up in
the suburbs, but I feel like the suburbs kids are parties.
I look at you for you high and I'm like,
not my high school. Can you imagine that show being reality?
Like it is so psycho that they that they exist
in the world in that space. I'm like, there's no
I don't even think there was any Like I can't
say anyone in my high school. I went to public school.

(29:39):
But I'm like, I just if there were anyone in
my high school like those children, I'm just like, even
one person, I think we all would have known and
it would have been such a such a scandal. I
mean that that's a lot going on there that school.
I watched the pilot. I watched the first episode What Summer,

(30:01):
and I freaked at my head such a crazy response
to it because I was like, I feel fully anty,
I feel like developmentally stunted because that wasn't high school
for me. I watched that first episode and I was like,
I guess that's what high school should have been, Like No, no,
because you'd be living a very different, hard, fastened day.

(30:23):
I watched that show and I thought, well, I guess
everyone else's high school experience was like this, accept mine
and I'm started making this about me, And I thought
that was my response to think. I think in consuming anything,
you're going to make it a little bit about you
because you're consuming it. And so when you see this
insane high school of the dress Designer, they come in

(30:43):
there absolutely fighting and bleeding, geting, cruising, crushing, sting, shooting, shooting,
like living, dyeing, come back to life, held hostage in
like the grossest apartment you've ever the most insane, so insane,
and like, these are not high schoolers. These are grown

(31:05):
people living in a very specific place. Not and I
also they're just not high school, okay, but that specific
place being l a and like, honestly, between watching Euphoria
and fucking like licorice pizza like through the decades. I'm like,
growing up here in the city of Los Angeles is
fucked up. I gotta say, yeah, it's not. The kids

(31:28):
should not grow up here. Well, I want to raise
our children here, so you and me? Yeah and l A, Yeah,
I don't want that. We we have to discuss this offline.
Will you guys have a natural child? Will you guys
have sex? Or will you do Petri dish? Well, go ahead,
We fucked and nothing's happened. Nothing came out, nothing came out.
Did you enjoy it sex together? I feel like it

(31:52):
was we had We had a choreographer in the room, yeah,
and an intimacy coordinator, but was not We weren't shooting
anything either. We were to make sure that everyone was respective.
But we're still sex. You penetrated, Yeah, you. I I

(32:12):
enjoyed it. Nothing came out, but I enjoyed it. About
kept telling me you have to take my word for it.
I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it during during the act. Yeah,
And I was like, I don't want to take your word.
Your body will say that you're enjoying it. Yeah, it
can't just sex. Isn't about like taking my word, you know,

(32:35):
life episode for yeah, exactly, sex, it's not about taking
my word. And I think either you or I or
we both blacked out during it. We both stressed. Yeah,
we got stressed and were blacked out. So but we're
still able to maintain a friendship. And that's what matters.
That's not a marriage. That's not a marriage. That's I think. No,

(32:57):
But I think all good marriages are based in friendship. Yeah,
but ultimately your body has to tell you okay, well
all right, well then off offline as a friend, as
the third king, I'm worried about you, guys, okay, offline, offline, offline, offline,
I can we hold on? Both of you have dated friends? Yeah,

(33:22):
and I think that is that is what I want,
And I can't. I can't go through my list friends
you've no, I don't. I don't. I can't think of
a friend. But I'm saying that's where it has to start.
I have to date a friend because I don't want
to meet someone new and have that be like the
I think that the dating friend thing gets confusing. Though,

(33:42):
just to actually say this, it's like when you have
a friend and it becomes more then you have to
like negotiate like sex with them. You're like, whoa, I
haven't really necessarily thought of you this way, and then
all of a sudden, here we go, let's just say,
breaching the subject um. And but it's it's foundational. I
don't think it's like totally compromise. I think it's like

(34:04):
I don't know, because you and you and your boyfriend
started out as friends, yes, but like barely acquaintances. We
didn't have any real friendship. Like we went to a
party together platonically he invited me, and then and and
now we're together, but we neither of us saw each other.
Because I feel like if I'm friends with you for
an extended period of time, my brain just shuts down
even the possibilities. But I'm like, no, yeah, like it

(34:27):
could be the most handsome person on the planet. And
I'm like, my brain is like you're my friend, Like
you're my friend. I wouldn't want to ever bump. So
then you think so then you think you got in
there right on time with with with with yes, yes,
but well because I'm like we didn't, we didn't actually
like establish any friendship. It's like went to this party,
and then a year and a half later connected and

(34:49):
it was like, yeah, and that's all I want is
from my real life to reflect love life. I mean,
don't you though, Like every time I watched that show
and I watched the first season in one day, in
the second season in one day, I guess my favorite show. Um,
but I always it ends and I'm always like I

(35:10):
kind of want my story. I want my story told
and want and to live my story, to live my
story and to have it end happy at twenty nine happily.
Ever act, That's the thing about it is like that's
not real, that those parts are not real. Where it's
like and it wraps, it gets all wrapped up in
a bow. It's all look look how good and clean

(35:32):
and pure it is, and like it's rom calm. I understand,
but we're misleading people. No, I think you can give
them home. You know my favorite movie? What were you
about to say? Though? I was gonna say, well, it's
name your favorite movie first, and then I'll say one
of my favorite movies. This is Sick is Blue Valentine,
I like my favorite movie. It's giving reality. It's giving reality,

(35:54):
it's giving life is not all clean lines and you know,
and it's mess that song in Blue Out, Yes that
you and me, You and me, Shell Williams is Yes, absolutely,
Like honestly, the scene where she's like, okay, you want

(36:14):
to have sex, Okay, just suck me. He's like, well,
I don't want you like that, and just negotiating like
what they what he wants for six and her she's like,
I just want you to shut the funk up and
leave me alone. The shower scene when he tries to
start it up in the shower and she's like not
into it, It's like, oh god, Like I don't know.
That felt very voyeuristic to me in the way that
was like makes you go cross side because you you

(36:35):
can recognize some of it and you're like, oh god,
I can't believe there was a room full of people
like recording this. That is also a thing like with
I've done now, is it a spoiler if I say
I've done a love scene now? So in Vire Island
I had a scene like that and obviously you did
too on Love Life. Um so you know, like with

(36:56):
the intimacy coordinator of it all, and like what a
what a process that is? Did I have a question
for you. When you were having the conversation with the
animacy coordinator, did you feel emotional? I didn't. Well, yes,
I mean what my most I felt remarkably vulnerable, and
that felt and then I was like taken back to
I want to say, quite childhood in it anyway, But

(37:17):
it was just sort of like, Oh, I'm I really
have to have this conversation with this person I don't know,
and I have to tell them what I feel safe
with and what works, and like hear what the director's
vision for this is and I'm like, oh, I don't know,
and like do you have my back? So I felt
very I felt vulnerable just even in my conversation with her,
and that felt like mildly scary, and I like to
do things and make me scared anyway. But so I

(37:39):
was like, whoa, this is a bizarre experience. How about you. Well,
the the scene that um happens in the movie that's
not out yet, so no one knows what I'm talking about,
was I'll be vague, is it's it's it's a very
specific circumstance. And so I was surprised because I loved
the animacy coordinator I worked with right away and she
sat down like cross leg and on the on in

(38:00):
front of me was like, okay, like slapped her slap
slaped legs, was like, let's talk about it. And then
she asked wonder at the same one because she is
I loved her, but basically like during the conversation, like
she was asking questions about what she thinks the character
was feeling, and I, despite myself, I don't know where
I came from. I started to get emotional and upset

(38:21):
and I said to her, I was like, I'm getting upset.
And she sat there and she said, this happens all
the time, and I started to really cry, and I
was like, I'm really sorry. It's just it's not because
I feel uncomfortable doing it. It's just because I'm thinking
about what it is and etcetera. And she said, I
want you to know this happens all the time. And
I thought to myself, like when now, whenever I watch

(38:43):
a love scene, I'm like, you know, what is really
vulnerable because you are being watched and perceived. Also you
have to embody whatever it is going on in the scene,
and sometimes, like you know, sex is very complicated and
emotional and it brings up a lot of different things,
and so I really do think like that that was
like a really interesting challenge. Wasn't performing that because and
I didn't expect it because you think you hear about

(39:05):
how choreographed it is, and you hear about how unemotional
is unattached, but not really because you still have to
perform it. As like as a young person watching whatever,
so much younger than I am now watching Blue Valentine,
I remember being like, I think they're actually having sex
and my sister being like, there's no way they're actually
having sex, and I'm like it, I think they're I

(39:28):
think they went for it because I was like, Derrek
st in France is like a unique director and he
had Brian lived with Eva Mendez in the house where
they did place me on the pines for a while
from months together, so I was like, maybe they got
they came to the two of them came to some
agreement like well we will fuck, because I was like
this just looks so real, like the emotion in both
of them, and so yeah, I read the script for

(39:52):
Love Life and I knew what it was going to entail,
and I do remember reading in being very moved by it.
But then also going, oh, that means I would have
to be in vulnerable position. Um, and then yeah you
you go and you do it and you're like, I
feel So we did our We did our our sex scenes.
First first day was like what nice to me? It

(40:12):
was literally that was those were the first scenes we did.
Go and I was like, oh, do you And I
was like, would I love to do this at the
end of the week with you? Because now I know you.
Familiarity is so important that the person I do the
scene with I was close to at that point because
we had done a lot together and I can't imagine

(40:33):
having just like okay, and like Will is so wonderful
and was and it's remarkably respectful, and everyone on set
was incredibly respectful. Couldn't really ask if you have to
do it for on the first day, a better situation,
a better group of people. But it still felt like, oh,
we're starting here, we're gonna go for it, and then

(40:53):
we're gonna it was a close set. It was a
close set, but it's so crazy. You're like, as an actor,
these are the things you don't say enjoy watching, but
you're like, it's real. This is like a slice of life.
But then when you actually have to perform it yourself
on a set in front of people, because even though
close set, that's you know, the DP is still there,
the director is still um standing by your and someone's

(41:16):
watching the monitor. Someone's are watching the monitor. You're like,
oh my gosh, this, I don't want you guys to
know what I look like when I'm I don't want
to hear the words marking rehearsal before I pretend to
come just sort of how I feel. But it's just
it's just like it's it is a thing. And so
now every time I watch a sexy and having like

(41:38):
I haven't been involved in it, it's and especially with
something like Blue Valentine, which like famously pretty much got
an NC seventeen at first and then they have become
There was a thing with the ratings. I remember what
it was was there's a scene of like him performing
oral sex on her and there was a controversy because
it was like we see blow jobs happen all the time,

(41:59):
like women performing sex sex on men, and often it's
like pirt but a woman is being pleasured by a man,
And it was like Britain with an NC seventeen rating
it felt too much, and that was a whole you know,
conversation about you know, like feminism in terms of this
whole thing. But they went in on those sex scenes.
There's that shot of him like like from her like

(42:21):
perspective of him sucking her, and it's like, yeah, I
I truly to this day that I'm like I watched him, like,
they're not you still don't know. I'm grown as hell,
and I go, are they are? They really not? Fucking
I mean, there's a question they went for it, and
I had so many things like this would be my

(42:43):
this will be my first intimate scene. And I'm at
the stage of matt in my career, and I'm like,
you don't want to go. I don't personally want to
go all out for the first thing I do. I
don't want to unless it's I mean, yeah, it just
didn't feel like the time and even And that's what's
also strange as a like self proclaimed nudist of sorts
being like, well not, but my thing is my thing

(43:05):
is around like sexualizing my body, So like as soon
as that happens, I'm like, well, no, that's not nude,
that's not the version I want. Can't we all just
walk around naked and not be like and now, yeah
I see your naked and I'm getting turned on, you know.
So um but anyway, I felt just I was like,
this is not the time I want to do this

(43:26):
version of it. So I did have a sort of
like very open conversation about like, this is what I'm
comfortable with, this is what at this stage in my career,
this is what I want to do. And you know,
because it also would be weird to be like, yeah,
given full frontal and then go and be on SNL
a couple of years and be like and I want
you to think of me as goofy Like I don't. Yeah,

(43:49):
I was like, that just feels too exposed to me. Um. Yeah,
I feel like and this might sound weird, but I
feel like you hold both of those things very well
at the same time. Thank you, right, And like what
I was gonna say earlier was like, I feel like
you this this isn't what I meant to say, but

(44:09):
I like, you better get used to it, because you're
gonna be doing wrong. Guys. I feel like you are
rom con queen. If you want to be right, okay,
I mean you had you had it That's that's why
I was That's why I was like so excited when
after I watched it, because I was like, wow, I
just love it. Then I see the future if that's
what you want. Like, I love it when people that
that we know from es and now, like yourself, like

(44:32):
a Dy, like Cecily, like like so many like Bow
and like so many people, when they get an opportunity
to show the dynamic nature of themselves as a performer.
And I was really happy that you got that. And
I was really also really liked when you're because I
texted you before. But when your character comes back at
the end of the season and you find out you
find out playwriting is like kind of bad? Are not

(44:53):
even kind of bad? So bad? How did you feel
when you found out she was bad? I was like, oh,
well that's inbar. I was like, I'm glad I didn't know,
because I was originally supposed to do one episode and
then there's this like you might do a second one
and this season, and I was like, great, So all
I have because they were still working on what that
second episode might be is the context of like for

(45:14):
this play right, and she seems like and she takes
herself seriously and like and then like you know, mama,
like for a writing fellowship of sorts or a workshop,
and then to have that be the It was a
horrible play right, and it makes it I mean at

(45:35):
last boy also that she liked her own line, that
she said it up to put it in her play,
like she walked away being like, hell yeah, she is
kind of toxic. It is a person. I do think
people were like rooting for her and then by the
end be like, no, she's a message to I think

(45:55):
that she'll win the Pulitzer Prize. And I also think
it was so funny the way you played it, like
when you were so smugging about like yeah, got you,
I published my play and here it is and got you,
got you good? Got you good? Like it was a
scene where it was like I think he calls you
out on it and you're like, I don't know what
you're talking jazz lighting queen so insane. And then my

(46:19):
my new boyfriend being like I was there when she
wrote it's not about you, like the perch are you
talking about? Just the weird This the strangest interaction. But
that was very fun to get to come back and
I feel like be like a little more playful than
that scene. Yea, perhaps otherwise, but yeah, you know I'm

(46:39):
gonna be rom com queen. Well okay, I guess someone
who said it. Someone was like, there, we're gonna be Oh.
I was whatever, this is so gross. I had a
meeting where like this guy was like, well, we're about
to be like flooded with rom coms, and I was like,
I think you're right. Yeah, we're speaking right now in

(47:07):
the moment, like we're recording this the weekend that Marry
Me Mary comes out. So and this is what I think,
like if anyone is going to bring it back in
like a major mainstream way, it will be j Lo
because Jlo is four quadrant. J Loo is you know
you're gonna be entertained. It's a throwback. And also it
feels now, you know what I mean? And so even
a plot as dumb as Marry Me and I love

(47:29):
that it knows how dumb is like, but it's committed to.
We need more of that. That really that that magical realism,
I guess like that's surreal magreeds surreal type of romantic
situation that we can just go for the ride on
the way we go for the ride on these like
superhero movies. Yes, here for it, here, absolutely here for it.
I want more rom coms. I'm like, I want King

(47:52):
and more rom com Put me in rom coms. Industry
listens to this industry put me in rom coms. Academia
listens to this critical acclaim. It has been cited an
academic word. As you wait, can we pull up your
your Wikipedia real quick? Do it? Okay? And also do

(48:16):
you ever read it? I don't, I don't. I don't know,
so you've never seen it. I've seen it one time.
I've seen I have seen it one time. I'm not
gonna lie to it. I have seen it, honey, moons ago,
but I don't read it. I don't read it. I
don't know what's on there. So I almost started to
look myself to try to beat you to it, to
be like, don't say anything, but I want to know
what it has under personal life. That's always the most
fascinating thing. Mind says Rogers is openly gay, okay, And

(48:39):
he said mind says he is color blind, and they
can cite it because they need a citation. In two six,
who is of Nigerian heritage graduated from Eastern Technical High
School in Essex, Maryland near Baltimore, received a biology degree
from University of Southern California, and decided to be Okay

(49:00):
and then and it's basically your story. Yeah, I have
I take issue with Maryland near Baltimore. So I grew
up in Baltimore County. So it's Baltimore. There's Baltimore City,
and there's Baltimore County. And I went to a Baltimore
County public school, Eastern Technical High School. So when people
say near Baltimore, I'm like, but it is Baltimore. So

(49:22):
that's I take issue with my Wikipedia. Someone fixes someone it.
This is the thing exerts in any city, the places
that are kind of in the city, kind of not
they're part of the city. They're part of the city.
No one, no one has like the local pride enough
to be like no, no, no, no no, no, I'm from Aurora, Colorado.
I'm never gonna say I'm from Aurora, Colorado over Denver,

(49:45):
because who gives a ship? Yeah, I mean, that's that's
with Long Island. It's like that. Usually just say I'm
from right because who cares? Who cares? You have to
give people in Okay, that's all I'm saying. That's all
I'm saying. So that's I was thinking it might say
something about our relationship and it doesn't. And boyfriends you

(50:10):
were rumored with Jeremy O. Harris before. Okay, so many
people I cannot confirm, nor denye oh. How often do
I show up in Mr roh Harris's coronavirus mixtapes? Not
that much, You're right, I mean read between the lines, people,
between the lines. Jeremy took a polaroid photo of me

(50:32):
and my boyfriend this summer at a g Q not
quite g Q party. But no, no, no, it was no,
I'm trying. I realized that when I said g I
was like, it wasn't a g Q party. Two be like,
she's never been invited to one of our parties, but
it was a g Q adjacent Like invite go to
your party. No, it's fine, you don't have to. But
he took a polaroid into this damn Like, where is

(50:53):
the polaroid? What has he done with? No? I know,
I'm sure nothing bad. I think it was it was cool,
but I was, where is it? Where is the I was?
You know, you take a polaroid I'm like, I want
to say, I want to have it. I don't trust
the polaroid. Polaroids can go either. Why polaroids can even
be classic forever or absolute garbage? Well, they're very forgiving, yeah,
and so I feel your wise and then if they're bad,

(51:17):
and they're bad and there's no saving it, you know
what I'm saying. Well, because like it's not like you
can't you can't go like you can with an iPhone
boop poopoop poop poop. Taking many photos of polaroid really
is a moment you get your exposures. Yeah, I want
us to do a nudist sketch. Okay, let's do it
on NBC. I think there's the way to do it. Okay,

(51:38):
where we're but ass naked. I'm not even I'm looking
at you in the eyes. I'm gonna write where if
you want to be on it with me, I want
to do it. Go King won't write with me and
s now No, Here's I was just gonna bring up
nodding eye contact and nodding. Do you want to talk

(51:59):
about talk about him? The sketch. The sketchy wrote that
ate fucking ship. It was a table read that a
lot of things, a lot of things, but I think
ours really did. And can I just say I didn't
deserve to because you know why. Okay, So I might
have mentioned this before, but Ago and I were at
the host dinner and you know, you have little side conversations,

(52:22):
and Ago and I were talking about some something, and
then you, me and Chloe maybe talked about the time
when on the tire Banks show she came out one
day and pretended to have rabies. Yes, and then this
culture and I was like, she's barking, barking, barker and
basically like kind of explaining all the beats to the

(52:44):
table and to you. And then do you remember this? Yeah? Yeah,
I turned and I see Lauren laughing like I've never
seen him laughing, true laughter at the at at this
at this premise of tire Banks barking and flombing at
the mouth, pretending like thinking that having rabies turns you
into a dog. And Lauren laughed like, We've never I've

(53:06):
never seen never seen it, I've never seen it in
a host dinner. And so then I was like, well,
we have to write it. Daddy loves it, Daddy loves it.
We have to do it, we do it. We do it,
and it eats absolutely ship because and you know what
you want to know. I want to know my theory
of why about it? I told you that already because

(53:26):
we named we wrote this with Will Stephen King Will Stephen,
and we we were like, what should what should this
talk show? We called it was like give me like
a Regius and Cathy kind of talk show. Two people
having a talk show we named chaotic Sis and Sissy
where my name was Sis short for Sismann, and your

(53:52):
your name was Sissy. And I think I think the
room kind of like really tensed up because they saw
the words sis and they were like, oh, what's this
going to be about? Also they did I think they?
I think they maybe did. I can't tell if we're
giving ourselves too much credit or not enough, but I
do think you're right. We also have to say that,
like the room is now they of the rumor favor

(54:16):
that kind of thing. Well, absolutely would not, absolutely would not.
We did not take that into account. We've been stopping
this short of like pulling it up and reading it.
I mean, let's read it, shall we perform it, Let's
do to page, Let's do one page of it. The
sketch should be heard. Let's just do one page and
then see and then and then we'll do Okay, I
can pull it up. Do you need me to read

(54:37):
stage directions? Ulous? This is no okay? Can we do what?
We'll cut around this to that it's very clean, right, Doug? Okay? Um,
are you emailing it? Hold on? I need to save
this as hold on, hold on, hold is worth it.
I love you. You guys have pretty much decided you

(54:59):
know why bombs and now you're bravely going to perform
it on the podcast. And the readers are gonna tell
us if a bomb because Sissy or if the sketch
was bad. I think this sketch is bad. Okay, we're
gonna because we're gonna do it can be both, you know, okay.
Siss and Sissy Show open on Talk Show Package Music

(55:19):
Daytime Talk Show Applause Today on Siss and Sissy Peloton
instructor Cody rigsby human rights activists Seema Gaudry and a
performance by R and B Trio W E B. The
Girls to live talk shows and here they are the
Daytime Duke and Duchess Siss Berman and Sissy do twat

(55:46):
interrupt and low energy. Hi everyone, guys, Yeah, yeah, Hi guys. Wow, Okay,
get a big show today. See mc gaudry is here
in studio. This girl built libraries for indigenous children and Suedan.
We love that, don't We give it out and give
it incredible? Okay, just a heads up. We're a little

(56:07):
out of sorts. We had a crazy morning. Sismon and
I were getting milk Bobo's before the show, as we do,
and boom a poodle in the parking lot, totally unhinged,
lunges right at us, mouthful of teeth and hand to god,
bites me in the box. He sunk his teeth in
that thing. I was screaming, kicking the dog everywhere. It

(56:29):
was a true nightmare. Oh my lord, I thought poodles
had manners. Are you too? Okay, totally fine. We went
to Urgent Care. I did test positive for a little
bit of rabies, but I'm all good and I got
my box totally stitched up. Give it up for Urgent care.
Y'all good for you guys, And you're sure you're okay
to do the show. Yeah, totally totally. I'm I'm just
a little tired, kind of worn down right now, is sweetie? Actually, yeah,

(56:53):
that'd be great. Sorry, just one second long silence as
Ego walks in her still the back of the sets,
at least since my bottle of water, milking the moment.
What a professional, what a fighter? Right? Give it up
for Sissy? Do twatch Rodney? How was your weekend? Actually,
Sissy was great. I had the kids, we made pigs
in a blanket and watched Michael Clayton. It was chilling. Okay,

(57:19):
I'm okay, I'm back, ready to do a show. Okay,
you go girl, all right. You know I'm from Peloton,
dancing with the stars and getting COVID three times. It's
Cody Rigsby. He's like walking on Mikey inters Cody. He's
the muscular what's up, chi, Cody? Is so good to
see you now. Peloton is getting into scripted content, right,
you have your own streaming series I do. It's called

(57:39):
Hit and Run. It's about a divorced teacher's mission to
bring clean water to Jackson Hole. So I'm sorry, is Cissy? Okay?
I goes convulsing, starting im sorry starting it's the rabies.
She's barking like a dog, Sissy. No, she's foaming dear

(58:00):
lord holder still but one tries to pin her down.
She's fully foaming at the mouth. Bissy, it's me, your
bfmost a show together? Sissy out? Oh my god, Sis,
is that you? Where? Where am I? I wasn't turning
into a dog? Was I are? You? Were? Sissy? The

(58:21):
rabies took hold of you know, I knew it. I
don't think that's how rabies works. But you could be
demon possessed and that you can't do much about it. Now.
I'm pretty sure it's my rabies, Rodney, I should know
I have it. Okay, God, Cody, Ricky, it's so good
to see you. Hey, that was definitely a demon. Cody,

(58:41):
drop it. Sissy has rabies. She's turning into a dog.
It's fine. We have a show to do. Thank you.
Our next guest is nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize
for her literacy. Hold on, I need that water. I
think I caught some of Sissy's foam in my mouth.
Oh no, this could be really, really, really bad. I'm
going to be fine. I just need a sip of water.
Oh my god, Sis not sick. I'm okay? Really what

(59:03):
la everywhere? He didn't even get bit Jesus Christ, my
box gave sis rabies a. We're gonna get out and
live with that guilt. I cannot wait. I lost my place.
You're filming, okay, it's a sign that we could stop.
Keep going now, no mat madness both stage, mommy my

(59:27):
ass right now? Okay? Oh no? I felt that coming
back to climbing on the table and on the floor
behaving like dogs. Can I help? Should I go? Yeah?
Go right now. I think we're entering the end game here.
I might have to shoot him. Oh my garters, we
went rabid, folks, What is going on? I think I'm
having trauma flashbacks. All I remember is tappy okay and

(59:49):
brown milk. Thank god, you guys were okay. I was
gonna kill you both on hair. My god, that's all
the time we have today. Everyone. Apologies to see mcgaudrey,
who flew here on her own dime. But don't worry.
She's not leaving her empty handed. We're sending her home
with the CIS and Cissy wine opener. That thing is cute.
You know. I'm getting air just to lick my own ass.
I think we should cut to commercials that UR didn't

(01:00:11):
care sout out all right, let's just let's there's something here,
there's something here, Okay, it wasn't. And honestly, Matt, I
appreciate you stage momming me and being like you keep going,
you keep going, what were we going to do? Stop
before that line about her going back on her own dime.
Believe in your jokes. You're so right, you're so right,

(01:00:32):
you're so right. I thought that was honestly, did not
deserve the full bomb that it was at table, I mean,
played too literal silence, silence. It was like we were
doing a dramatic piece, a moving dramatic piece, silence, and
the only voices were our own. You wouldn't you wouldn't
look because you knew you would look. I wouldn't. I wouldn't,

(01:00:53):
I said, I don't want to. I felt like it
was his faulted bomb. You kind of bailed a point.
I'm kidding. I'm kidding. You know you didn't bail. I'm kidding,
I'm genuinely, I'm hurt. Bail. There's nothing to bail on
any week, I would write with you, well, let's do
it this this well, well, I would assume you guys

(01:01:13):
write together all the time. You don't we should we should?
It just depends, but would make the weird No, it wouldn't.
What I sometimes think is like people, I'm gonna say
no because since you said, I can't stop thinking. I
kind of think people are like, okay, guys cute like
that's but like not ill intended. I don't think they're

(01:01:34):
ill intended in and I don't genuinely don't think they
think about us a ton, but I do think when
it's like, all right, we're about to do a two hander,
they're like, okay, king this king, I don't know, but
it's like what you said, It's like it's yeah, I
don't think that's No. One's like rooting against us. They
just feel you feel that they're over it. Feel like

(01:01:55):
we've seen it. We know, we know, yeah, but we
the audience needs to know. I'm an audience and I
have to say something. I don't feel like SNL caters
to me as an audience. That I don't think they do.
I think whenever you guys are in pieces, they're catering
to me. But but other than that, I don't know. Yeah,
I mean, listen, let's try to write together some more.

(01:02:18):
People are like I think we just we got to
keep repeating it until it breaks. You need to do
this sketch every week. You need to bring us to
the table every week and make it a thing. I'm sorry.
I feel like we need an intimacy coordinator in this
room because I do feel very vulnerable that we read that.
I do. While we were half okay, thank you, I

(01:02:38):
want halfway through you know, I was, I was laughing.
He was laughing halfway through and we were all laughing.
But halfway through, I was like, we didn't ask Will,
but I don't think we'll take No, He's fine, Will
will it. Will doesn't care. He's gonna love it. The
sketch got performed on Lost Culture. It went, it went,

(01:02:59):
It went. It went as the sketch went, sketch went,
it's going, it went, it went, And tell us what
you think about it and they will, Yeah, yeah, they will.
We love Will anyway. How do you feel? I think
you feel hangover, honorable, but I feel alive. I felt
I thought this and wait, if we're going to return

(01:03:19):
to the topic of was it Sis and Sissy show?
I think that maybe maybe there might be a moment
where they said at the top, Sis, I'm nervous. But
the fact is, it wasn't that. It wasn't that. But
I also feel like this is just something that like you,
that I think is very apparent in any kind of performance.

(01:03:42):
All it takes is one thing to be a little
off and then everyone gets nervous. Yeah, yeah, yeah, if
there are if anything, just it could be the smallest thing.
So they I don't even think they were open to
enjoying the rest. I think, what a stupid premise, like
in a good way, like a stupid silly premise. And
they I don't know. But also energy at table matters

(01:04:03):
because they're like, you can literally submit the same exact
sketch a year and a half from now. All of
a sudden, it's like the funniest thing. Well, you know
what you have to do, just change the name cis
and do it again next week with Milaney, with Milany.
Is that? Who think that's timely? That's the time, they comment,
take that out. No, no, no, no, it's final. Already
have happened. But it happened, and now and you the

(01:04:25):
audience will know if the Cyst and Sisty show or whatever,
since his name is going to be actually got in.
I think that you know, John Laney would make an
absolutely stunning Cody absolutely absolutely What do you think went
wrong with t s A? Oh my god, this one
went to dress rehearsals. So Ago and I wrote a
sketch with Alison Gates Alex English that was around Thanksgiving

(01:04:48):
and it was me, don't have to tell, don't tell
because we might do it one day. Okay, So we're
not going to read that one. No, no, we're not
gonna that, We're not. You really are feeling vulnerable. I'm scared.
All I will say. All I will say is that
it was a crush or at table. Yes, really crushed. Yes,
I don't feel any sort of qualms about did a

(01:05:12):
great job and then something and then there was just
a lot of technical there's a lot of business. There
was a lot of business. Whenever they come to me
on set and they have a lot of props, I'm like, animize, okay,
saying with me on sets, I feel like I go
when they're like and you're gonna start your line here
and then you're gonna want to land here to finish

(01:05:33):
the second part of the line and then you're gonna
grab and I'm like okay, no, no, now we dance
in and it's too much. It's landing on a mark,
one of your skills. They put the tape on the ground,
and I think I'm getting really good at I think
I'm getting there. I just I just shot a bunch
of commercials and it required a lot of like what
I just described technical technical business dancing and here's this

(01:05:56):
and then you're going to do this and I that's
literally someone tell you what to do yes, and I
go no. So we were there all day where we
were fighting back the camera can follow me, Yeah, the
camera's going to do what I want. But I landed.
I was getting really good at it. By the end
of it. I was like the landing on the market,
not looking down at it and just being like, Okay,
it feels like it's around, But it's a skill. I'm

(01:06:18):
guessing at SNL that's really important. Huh No, not totally,
Like people try to minimize that on during the blocking process. Yeah,
and then you're like trying to get to your mark.
You're also getting to your mark. Oftentimes, I feel like
when you're not on camera too, So that's true. So
you have time to set and you're like okay, yep,

(01:06:39):
I see it and I was like, easy, Yeah, I
think it's cute cards and you get to set your mark.
It's easy, and we work one day a week. Yeah,
for sure, you work one day a week. They set
your marks for you have you have minutes to get there.
You have big que cards with huge legible writing, you
have amazing professional actors that come into home exactly, exactly

(01:07:01):
wait on our last sketch that got cut the last show.
I like, I feel like a lot of people were
like fumbling for whatever reason on the on the last show,
at least during dress. During dress whoever was writing the cards,
God bless. I don't know, because I know there was
a word that was totally mushed together, like you know,

(01:07:21):
when you're like running out of lines, you go, I
could just write this, like I can mush it together.
It's one thing. It's if it's a journal entry, but
it's a cute card. I was like, I don't know
what that says. Ed Hidie was in Hidie sketch and
I said I apologized her after She's like, no, I
could see the thing you were trying to read. And
I also was like, what the is she's supposed to read? This?

(01:07:43):
Just letters? Mushed together, and I thought, dear God. I
was like, I cannot read this, but like my line
is supposed to be such a throwaway. We've been on
me for way too long. Like I literally I was
doing and I mean, like this, maybe that word it
matter ago just read the next word and hope that
that one word isn't gonna make a break the line.

(01:08:05):
I was like, I don't know what that says. It's
hard and I get nervous. But we've only done it once.
Because I've only done it. It's to night Show when
they flipped the card and it goes away so fast.
And also the thing was it was Bone and I
doing it together, and so they made it so that
one of us was read and one of us was green.

(01:08:28):
I was like, I have to tell you, girlfriend, I
don't know the difference between those. And so then that
was like and then and then they were like, oh, well,
you should have said that we're gonna have to change it,
and I'm like, I should have said that. How would
you have known that that's what was going to happen? Like, hey,
just so you know, like I'm colorblind, don't pick these
two colors, like also just pick opposite colors. Yeah, it

(01:08:49):
was tonight was a blessed and it comes from the top. Okay,
and he's a he's attacking Lauren. I'm attacking Lauren. Like
on the podcast, it comes from the top. It's an
ablest atmosphere, ablest atmosphere towards the vision. I'd say it is.
I'd say it is, and it's all I have to

(01:09:09):
time in and say, tell you what. Could not read
those words words and the sketch because it did get cut,
but it was not because of that. It was such
a good sketch, but I also didn't want it was.
It was such a good and funny sketch, but they
had to change their whole premise also the table Yeah,
literally because it was like too much penis content in

(01:09:30):
this episode. Can you change your entire premise of this?
And it was like, well, anything they say now is
just not is funny. Is like he has a weird dick.
That note is always really frustrating where it's like there's
too much of this thing, and so you are We've
chosen you. You're the one that's like you need to
change it, and I'm like, I but they could change
that one joke in there's and that other. Do you

(01:09:52):
ever think about saying as a false sentence, no, I
have said no at the workplace I had, I've said it,
You've said you yourself credit, I've said it. And are
we going here? Okay, okay, I'm just saying, y'all are

(01:10:12):
going in, and I'm ob fest me as a fan upset.
We are pulling back the curtain. I'm sorry we have.
We literally read a no that was iconic and show
is the best thing that's ever Firstly, I think the
title of the show, we could change it. But I
do think, like I like the Sistant Sissy Show. Like
his name is sis Berman, so his full name is

(01:10:33):
Sissman Berman. Yeah, I think that's so funny. Yeah, I
think it is too. I think it's funny too, and
I'm not and I'm wondering if it should be changed.
I don't think it should. But wait, you think it's funny.
I think that's a social experiment. If you came in
and you said, like, it's the Beavist and Sissy Show
and then they were just like and they were like,
oh my god, I fucking loved that. I got it.

(01:10:56):
And they didn't get the Sistant Show because they were
like literally panic because before yeah, and they think it's bad.
Yeah they did, They're like, what's it's the guilt. The
guilt will also keep people from laughing. I can say yes, yes,
black female body, I go, oh, we can laugh about this,
but you feel guilty and it's barring you. That is

(01:11:19):
a stupid thing, right, yeah, it is. It's yeah, it's frustrating. Anyway.
I think it's time. I think it's time for the
segment on the podcast called say it with Me, I
Don't Think so Honey. It's one of the most famous

(01:11:40):
segments in pop culture podcast history. The podcast has received
critical acclaim and been cited in academic work. Matt and
Bowen will often perform I Don't Think So Honey, a
segment from the podcast, as a live show all around
the country, with fifty local comedians each taking to the
stage to say in one minute, a rant on pop

(01:12:01):
culture that successfully ends in the words I don't think
so honey, and has therefore fully dragged the subject. I
do have something. Okay, I'm very excited. This is Matt Rodgers.
I don't think so Many time starts now I don't
Think so Honey. Thirst traps in the morning when I
wake up and I look at my phone and I
see that you've tried. You've tried to put thirst traps

(01:12:22):
up in the morning. This keeps me in the bed
because then I feel like I have to take care
of business. No thirst traps in the morning, post them
in the afternoon. I'm trying to get up, get a
coffee in me and start the day. But when I
roll over and look at my phone and I see
thirst traps in the morning, I'm there forty five minutes longer,
And yes, what are you doing? Just jerking off? Baby?
I jerk off. I'm a man and I'm thirty one,

(01:12:44):
and I jerk off. I do it. I love it,
but I don't want to do it in the morning
because then you can't do it at night. And guess
what not that you can't do it at night, But
when you get into your thirties, everyone, so it's hard
to jack off again and again and again and again
and then be ready to go. And so me, someone
with a famous lack of self control, don't want to
see your thirst traps in the morning. And you might say, Matt,

(01:13:06):
put your phone away, this is your problem, this is
not my problem. Sure, but I don't want to take
responsibility for it, So stop with your hot and little
sexy thirstraps in the morning. I don't think so, honey,
get my dick out of my hand. I'm sorry, I
cut you off. That's okay. On a minute, something happens
when you're physiologically it's it's as if I'm having sex

(01:13:27):
with Ago, because on the third masturbation of the day,
nothing's coming out. Well, nothing's coming out, And that's what
it's like to sleep with me, with me, you know,
with that, if you're sleeping with us, nothing that's coming out.
You know. The thing is like I I am like

(01:13:47):
a horny person in the morning. That's just kind of
my thing. And when I'm not with anyone else, it
feels like, am I gonna do this right now? Because
I'd love to have the juice for later? And I
often get in trouble for this because out of boredom
or out of just susceptibility to thirst traps in the morning,
I will sort of indulge, and then you know, there

(01:14:13):
needs to be a way around getting up in the morning. Look, look, look,
this is a scenario. You get up in the morning
next to your partner, sure your horn you're both horny. Yeah,
but morning breath, morning breath. And also for for at
least I can speak to the for the gay experience,

(01:14:34):
it's harder to have sex in the morning. Not that
you have to, you know, take it up the butt
as it were, every time you have sex. That's not
that's not necessarily sex like your sex is your sex.
But if if if, if the if the mood feels
the same, that way, been wonderful. But it's just like
so many things, so much baggage in the morning. But

(01:14:55):
I'm that's when I'm so, what's a lot of baggage
in them? Morning breath? Thing is real, that's real. How
do we how do we fix that? It's got to
be like a surgery, surgery or by doing like the
old like the ladies did in the old days, where
you creep out of bed in the morning while your
man is still asleep, and you sort of brush your
teeth and put a full beat on and you wait

(01:15:17):
and you lay in the bed like this. Describe what
I'm doing. He's laying chin and chin is in the air,
eyes are closed, kind of coming to slowly. Oh my god,
some bed. Yeah, lip yes, smiling, winking, really really pointing

(01:15:38):
kind of a meet you meet you, okay, blow job
and then motoro motor mooting something getting a rail putting
coming something I wanted. I haven't had sex really well, guys,

(01:15:59):
slide into bow and there's no one while you're here
in l A that you can head up. I've been
too tired. They've been too tired. Alright, time to go,
do you have? I don't think well, that sounds really
like a fun idea. All right, so this, honey, his
time starts now. I don't think so, honey, chrome Cast,

(01:16:22):
you're gonna have me in front of some friends I
have over and make me look like a damn fool
trying to scrub a dub dub on the episode of
the thing, the film what have you? And there's always
the lag, there's always the spinning wheel that's telling you,
that's laughing at you in the face, saying no, no, no,
I'm not going to show you where you fast forwarded to.

(01:16:45):
Just yet. Let me think for about forty five more seconds. Okay,
chrome Cast, I feel like you are designed to humiliate
the user, and that we're we are past that in
technology right now, and the UI and U X excuse
orians is to feel humiliated, and I don't want it anymore.
I want to say no, no crume cast, give me

(01:17:07):
an Apple TV and every screen I encounter, give me
an Apple TV in every hotel I to in my office. Really,
I need an Apple TV so I can use the
little gum stick remote to actually have precision control. And
that's one minute. It really is frustration station when you
are trying to screen throw screen throw yeah, and then

(01:17:32):
you get that that because it's it's false advertising. It's like,
this is not what's happening on my screen. In fact,
I don't know. I just think. I just think we're
being like someone's watching us and laughing at us. God, God,
or the people in the room, or someone at Google
is watching us saying spinning their wheels going insanee. I

(01:17:56):
have to say, like like when you when you have
something up there and then like it's going doing the
stop and start. You miss every joke in a comedic piece,
you miss every intentional dramatic beats. It's just you can't
you can't be doing it. I would rather have a
bunch of people over and we watched something on my
computer in front of us on the table than to screen,
throw it up there because it's just it's just wrong.

(01:18:18):
It's just wrong, and you're it's just it's just like
clicking along that line. So awful. Okay, that's it. It's time.
Any thoughts on chrome Cast before we start. I am
a neutral party as far as chrome Cast is concerned. However,
Chromecast has hurt King, and thus now I've got beef

(01:18:39):
with chrome Cast. Yeah, your beef is my beef, and
beef is my beef and my babe. Mean it was.
People need to know that King is a singer. But
no am I No? Are you a singer? No? You

(01:19:00):
just matched pitch? Oh did I? If? And if you
match pitch, that means a singer. It's time for ego wodims.
I don't think so, honey. Okay, I do believe I'm
red teeth. This is bodis. I don't think so, honey.
Her time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Asking

(01:19:21):
me where I am? You don't need to know where
I am. Don't ask me where I am. I I'm
where I'm supposed to be. Where the funk are you
worry about that? I mean, if you have a question
and invite you want to send my way. Just do that.
Just go ahead and do that. Don't ask me where
I am. That such a business. You're not my parole officer.
I'm not on parole. There you go. I've still got

(01:19:43):
a significant amount of time to pop off about people
asking me where I am. Don't slide in the d
M s with it. Don't send a text, don't send
an email. I actually don't like any of those forms
of communication as well. But that's not about this right now.
I'm where I need to be. You send the invitation.
I could be in bed, I could be in the shower,
I could be at the gym. I could be at
your daddy's house. Doesn't matter, doesn't matter what is the

(01:20:07):
order of business? What do you need from me? I'm
allowed to be where I want to be. Where Where
are you? Is what i'd say? Where are you? You
are out your damn mind is what it is. Ask
me where I am? I do not think so, honey, Honestly,
it is no more rude question than without a hay
or hello. Just you're looking down at your phone and
seeing the words where are you? Shut the funk up?

(01:20:29):
Are you nuts? You better go fuck yourself? You were
at my daddy's house. I wasn't your daddy's crib. Okay,
and listen, context matters, but just a cold where are you? Terrible?
Never ever ever gonna work for me? So awful, and
especially when they do where just the letter are? Just

(01:20:51):
the letter you? I'm sorry? Do it? Yeah? Are you?
You're out of your mind? It was where you are?
That's that's what I have to say about that respectable space.
You can be where ever you want to be. If
I have an invitation for your bone, I'm going to
send you the invitation. If I want you to know
where I am, I will give you the drop pit. Yeah,
I will drop the adie and drop the addie, share
the location. Shit, Yeah, where am I? Where am I?

(01:21:14):
You know what's a good way to go about this? Hey? Yes, okay,
and then be like I was wondering what you were doing.
I'm here. Now we have some common ground. Now we
can start a conversation. Don't command any information for me. No,
it's not okay, because you're going to take where I
am to mean that means I'm available or I'm into

(01:21:37):
whatever you're about to pitch me. Just give me the
information and they're allowed to decide also where are you?
Sort of there's something in it that that says you're
not You're not where you're supposed to be. Like when
I get a Texas is where are you? I'm like,
am I supposed to be somewhere else? Yeah? No, no,
And that's it's it's so stressful. It's like, let's say that,

(01:21:58):
it's like the equipment of like we need to talk
and I love to send we need to talk text
to my friend as a joke, as a joke. That
is actually no, King, that's not accepted. No, I don't, no, no,
it's acceptable's except because he knows I never have to
talk to But what about when you actually need to
talk to them? I'll just say, hey, I'd love to

(01:22:23):
your boyfriend. No, no, no, my friend. I don't do
it to my boyfriend. My boyfriend would truly be like
we need to do that with your end the bit
with my friend my friend Patrick, I do this bit
we need to talk, period. I've sent him that text
multiple times. What about when you actually need to talk
to him? I'm sorry, But if I actually need to
talk to Patrick, I'll just call I'll just call her,
I'll text you know what I say I'll say the

(01:22:44):
thing what else I hate that when I talk about
it is just when you get a random text that's
just hey and nothing else. No, they both hands up
at the same time. They threw their hands at the
same time. But I feel on that not hey hey,
and then you're like, um, hi, even because it's such

(01:23:07):
an easy because even like even just saying like hey,
what's up? Like hey, like hey, thinking of just hey,
I'm just like there's there's there's like a bit of
a sociopathy to that. I would say, like, hey, but
where thank you for starting this conversation on where are you?
Because it you know, what else it is is not

(01:23:28):
only do you have to give them the answer or
do they expect you to give them the answer on
like a location, but then you kind of have to
give the story behind it. I'm at this place because
of this reason. Sure, yeah, because yeah, you're sort of like,
are you okay? Are you trying to invite me to somewhere?
Am I somewhere? I'm I'm not supposed to be right now,

(01:23:49):
But it's like you have information you want, but you
want to have the upper hand here by the first
hearing where I am and I just answer to you
like you're my mother or something, and I don't have
to do that. I'm going to text you that every week.
Where are you? Where are you? Where are you? But
you guys have a reason to do because you're at
work together, like, hey, where are you? Like that's exactly
I'm like. There are versions of like you wanting to

(01:24:11):
give me something, or I've wanted to hand something over
to you and gone to your dressing room you're not there.
It might be like, hey, where are you? But I
also would probably be like probably I can't say with
full certainty, be like I have something like like and
literally I've done this so many times where I've gone
over to your dressing room, knocked on your door, no answer.
I just walk away. I'll get her later. Yeah, yeah,

(01:24:31):
wait a minute. You gave me a gift. No, I did,
and I opened it and I was so happy to
get it. It was truly it was boy Smells candles
from their collection, and I freaked. I was like, oh
my god, thank you so and then you this is
what you said. You remember you said? What did I say?
You don't have to pretend to like I was like,
I'm not pretending candles are my favorite. They gave me

(01:24:56):
a gift. Got can I say, say, Bowen got two
thera guns? Got one? Wait, you gave me your? I
did the same. You get you gave the extra theragon
we got to Ego. Okay, I'm calling you out. I
did the same thing to Joel. No, no, no, this

(01:25:16):
is what happened. Yes, yes, I show up to work
one day and there's a thera gun. The first of all,
they gave everybody a their like a mini theragun for Christmas. Sure,
I can give you mine, let me have that one,
but let me have that one. Eighty wouldn't mind if
I said this. Eighty and nine both got these special

(01:25:36):
edition gold theraguns with like and with a note saying
there's only five hundred of these that we make. Guess
how much it costs man? Two thousand dollars one th dollars.
That's insane, insane. And I was like, I don't I
don't want this, But then what do you mean? And

(01:25:57):
then so that it was sitting in my dressing room
for like a full week and a half, and then
Ago comes and visits me and she goes, she does,
what's this? It's this crazy? It's something a gift or no,
it wasn't even know. It was very transparent, like I
was like, I don't know, like as I guess how
much this costs King? And she was like uh and
I think she also said to that prices that pis

(01:26:19):
we guess the same price? Yeah. Time. Anyway, I gave
it to King. But then I was doing I was
doing a bit where I kept being like, oh, like
what's like, what's this part in the box? Like oh,
and I'm like, do you want it back? You want
to you don't realize that you gave me And he's like, no,
I'm fine, like a note in it and he's like,
what's the note saying do you want a thing back?

(01:26:40):
And eventually the bit just escalated where I would like
snatch the box right away, like I'll never see you again. Well,
Bowen didn't do gifts this year. He no, he let
me know he wasn't doing Christmas for me. For me, well,
I don't think I really did give I did I did? Do?
I mean I the candle candle I did I gave you?
And hiding the candles, which is so nice look at me,

(01:27:04):
But but there is a sent in there that I
really really loved the blue one. Yeah, yeah, I love
that sense so much. Um, but I am I go.
You should be able to go either way. I was
informed in December from Bible and that I would not
be getting a gift this year. I didn't say that,
you did. You told me I didn't get you a
gift this year. I'm just telling you. And I was like,

(01:27:25):
that's fine. I didn't get you anything either. I did. Okay,
you had gotten him something because oh my god. But
you know what though, for your birthday, I did send
you a pair of ear rings and they never got
to They never got to your apartment. And they were expensive.
I was really annoyed by that. They were They were
like Gucci ear rings, and I sent them to you
and they never got very nice, very nice. That's okay.

(01:27:48):
What do you want for your birthday? Um? I want
a leather jacket. Yeah I have, Okay, just give me mats.
So what do you want for your birthday? What I
want for my birthday? He has a great birthday. He has, don't. Oh,
I'm I'm having a lot of fun on my birthday.
I'm going to see Katie Perry and Vegas with thousand gays.

(01:28:13):
It's gonna be like this to nine. I'm working on that,
I'm looking on It's gonna be okay, Okay, I love it.
Thank you for so much for this was King, and
we talked about intimacy. Yeah, we talked about the business.
I'm cited in academic work, and talk about rom com aspiration.

(01:28:34):
We read a sketch every episode with the song okay
so nine, I'm look I'm ge

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Bowen Yang

Matt Rogers

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