Episode 387 - S17E21 - Assaulting Reality - Law and Order: Special Viewing Unit

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Hello listeners, and welcome back to another episode of Law
and Order, a special viewing. You're at the show where
we view review and a love of Me, ridicule everyone's
favorite copter on my Law and Order special Victims Unit,
every episode in a row from the beginning.

Speaker 2 (00:16):
It's only been eleven minutes.

Speaker 1 (00:19):
I am your host, Matt Reuter, joining me as always,
the guy that can't figure out what fucking microphone to
record into.

Speaker 2 (00:26):
I am in a different today.

Speaker 1 (00:29):
Over there. I don't that's not my concern.

Speaker 2 (00:33):
Once we're married, you do it right.

Speaker 1 (00:35):
You don't do it at all, all right.

Speaker 2 (00:37):
Once we're right, Once we're married, I'll give you my
most precious gift.

Speaker 1 (00:41):
I don't want it a viv. I don't want to
take it back. I don't want the gift from you.

Speaker 2 (00:46):
You can't take it back. Now. I have chlamydia.

Speaker 1 (00:50):
Well I think you can cure that. Uh Jesus Christ,
this fucking episode there the intersectionality of this episode of
a viv you being able to be like well on
a reality TV set act.

Speaker 2 (01:00):
I've been on a reality TV set that was weirdly,
I want to say, more criminal than this.

Speaker 1 (01:08):
Well, in a different I mean, in a white collar crime.

Speaker 2 (01:13):
Sorry, yes, it's definitely in a white collar crime sort
of way. I'm assuming there weren't zero rapists there.

Speaker 1 (01:20):
Oh, I'm assuming there was more rapists. It was just
less yeah, less, fewer on camera rapes, but rapes nonetheless.

Speaker 2 (01:32):
And more cyber trucks.

Speaker 1 (01:35):
Oh, one thousand more cyber trucks. Are you kidding me?
Same amount of Alex Mack, which was interesting.

Speaker 2 (01:42):
Right, showed up? Hi, guys, I'm just here. I think
she's good in this episode.

Speaker 1 (01:49):
I think she's great this episode.

Speaker 2 (01:50):
I know whatever happened to her, I don't know. I
have a question about her nose. What's the what's it
called when you have a line that just goes all
the way down your nose? Her nose makes a perfect
heart shape, like she's a cartoon dog.

Speaker 1 (02:05):
I guess it wasn't paying that close of attention to
her nose.

Speaker 2 (02:08):
She looks like the love interest from the Goofy movie Roxanne,
my first crush, the animated dog.

Speaker 1 (02:15):
Huh yeah, yeah, I think that says a lot more
about you.

Speaker 2 (02:19):
Sure this better not awaken anything in me?

Speaker 1 (02:22):
Well, it might be too late, but.

Speaker 2 (02:25):
I'm I'm doing okay. I went to see Jaws in
the Theater for the fiftieth anniversary of Jaws last week,
tell us good hot take, Jaws is a good movie.

Speaker 1 (02:41):
Who would have thought?

Speaker 2 (02:42):
Who would have thought? And uh, yeah, you know, watched
a bunch of stuff getting getting back to normal in
terms of like travel and events and stuff, and so
uh yeah, not traveling, not traveling, not doing events, and
not not playing APA songs. Yeah. So I just been
working a lot. I finished a rewrite of something that

(03:03):
I've been sort of kicking around since May, and so
that feels good. And now I need to tomorrow just
like jump on another thing. Too many things, too many
things happening, Matt. But how how is your week been?

Speaker 1 (03:18):
Oh? I I as I said in the original recording,
what do you mean we're no longer?

Speaker 2 (03:24):
Yeah, the file, the file was lost, Matt.

Speaker 1 (03:27):
It was Yeah, it's generated it see.

Speaker 2 (03:30):
It gener it generated. This is the The way that
she explains it in this episode is like Newman explaining
that the computers are gonna compile in Jurassic Park, where
he's like, oh, it should be a couple of data
data cycles and and we're gonna I'm gonna lose some
access to to some of the functionality because it's.

Speaker 1 (03:50):
A simple, simple thing.

Speaker 2 (03:52):
It's actually it's I want something salty. I got to
had something sweet earlier. Now on something salty from the
from the she, you know.

Speaker 1 (03:59):
And I I finished bucking the phone debugged phones and
it's so it's good. Thanks docta pile.

Speaker 2 (04:06):
As but imagine this. And then she just turns into
a pile of good.

Speaker 1 (04:12):
And then as Alapa Storus comes out of nowhere, it
just fits in so muchs face and that's the end
of the scene. No speaking of Jurassic Park or just
generally Spielberg movies, So Cassie I. Over the weekend we
went to a local stage production by the Seattle the Group,
small small theater in a park actually that's not that

(04:34):
far from here, really cool experience. It was called Jurassic
Parking Lot. It was a parody of of Jurassic Park
and it was absolutely delightful. It was fucking hilarious. They
had all of the the raptors that they had were

(04:55):
just uh, they were ladies dressed up, but like dressed
up in like a kind of like sexy sexy raptor.

Speaker 2 (05:02):
Do you have to tell me that anymore sexy raptors is?

Speaker 1 (05:05):
And then at some point in time when they were
being introduced, they did it like, uh, they introduced him
like it was the cell blocked tango.

Speaker 2 (05:12):
Oh that's fine, I go.

Speaker 1 (05:14):
And they the costume, like the costume was just like
regular people. But then they had these masks on, but
they as they would like talk or sing, it would
actually like the jaw would move and it actually it's
pretty slick. And I was like, you know at a
certain point how they're like, oh no, it's it's so
tropical out here. And they had people off at the
side with like just spray bottles and just started spraying
the crowd type situation. All of it really really fucking funny. Yeah,

(05:40):
the funny and random bits was whenever they had the
person who was playing Nedri on screen, they would have
someone who and and I stress this enough, but it's
just for the sake of the joke. This the person
that was playing this other character was Asian and had
this insane wig on and he was just they just
kept he would just do a Jerry Sidefelder press but
it'd be like if Jerry Seinfeld was in Jurassic Park,

(06:03):
but kept referring to Nedrius Newman Newman and it was
just very very funny. Whoever was playing Muldoon, they had
they had so many like just like people in those
inflatable dinosaurs costumes, just trying to like navigate this very
small stage, which it was very possible to do. Very

(06:24):
very fucking funny.

Speaker 2 (06:25):
Sounds fun Yeah, but the person.

Speaker 1 (06:27):
That was playing Muldoon was in one of those inflatable costumes,
like you're riding the dinosaur, but that was the costume,
so it was just muldoone was just riding every fucking scene. Uh,
really funny. Highly recommend if you're in the Seattle area
and you can afford to come on down to come
back to check this out.

Speaker 2 (06:47):
The parking lot of the fucking well.

Speaker 1 (06:50):
It's in a theater. It's called Jurassic Parking Lot. But
check it out by the Seattle Theater Group. Very very funny,
highly highly recommend. H I have not laughed that hard,
honestly in a really fucking long time. Amazing, So I
wish that there was an ability for you to be
able to see that specific.

Speaker 2 (07:08):
Yeah, I if it comes back, maybe I'll take a
weekend or so.

Speaker 1 (07:13):
Yeah, that's that is how I and then uh, and
then this, and then it all went to shit after that.
Technology sucks, the world sucks, sucks.

Speaker 2 (07:20):
But uh, you know, if for future, for the future, posterity,
we're recording this the week that everyone just assumed it happened.

Speaker 1 (07:31):
I never did. I didn't.

Speaker 2 (07:32):
I also didn't assume that it happened. But everyone on
the internet Internet was like it happened, and uh yeah,
I uh, you know, it seems like it didn't happen yet.
But however, you know, he's not. He's not doing great.
He's not a very healthy man.

Speaker 1 (07:50):
No, I here's the thing. We're we're just we're not
that lucky. No, yes, right, like we we live in
this cursed timeline.

Speaker 2 (07:59):
The winds to blow the right way one day.

Speaker 1 (08:03):
I mean, eventually, he's not immortal, so eventually, someday it
will happen, but it's not gonna be anytime soon.

Speaker 2 (08:10):
I'm reminded of the of the thing that Morgan Freeman
says in seven, where if he's like, if he's the devil,
if he if he is the real actual Satan, that
might live up to what we think of him. So
maybe pulls off a mask and he's the devil.

Speaker 1 (08:27):
Why just understand why he would look sick? Then looks
sickly to give us hope.

Speaker 2 (08:32):
That's that's the that's the.

Speaker 1 (08:34):
Hope that it's the ultimate ropidope.

Speaker 2 (08:37):
Yeah, it's like a ha ha, that's.

Speaker 1 (08:41):
Like we need like the the Scooby Gang to come
up and rip the mask off.

Speaker 2 (08:46):
Yeah, yeah, the Scooby Gang specifically from Buffy the Vampire
Slayer specifically.

Speaker 1 (08:52):
Yes, but that's how I'm doing it. Even how are
you doing? But how's the comically large water?

Speaker 2 (08:58):
To cheer Matt up? Earlier? I showed tom My comically
large water? Here it is again big water?

Speaker 1 (09:03):
How much water is that?

Speaker 2 (09:04):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (09:05):
Doesn't it say doesn't have the ounces written on it?

Speaker 2 (09:08):
Um?

Speaker 1 (09:09):
Why do you have your name written on it?

Speaker 2 (09:12):
Um?

Speaker 1 (09:13):
What summer camp? Are you taking this too? So that
no one else will take it?

Speaker 2 (09:17):
I'm uncle Tony.

Speaker 1 (09:19):
No.

Speaker 2 (09:19):
I uh I used this on set when I was
on set for Lizzie Lazarus. Thought that I lost it,
and uh, it turns out we just put it away
and I just, oh, god.

Speaker 1 (09:31):
Fucking you listens, listeners, what you what just happened? Here?
Is Aviv played around with this gigantic trying to see.

Speaker 2 (09:42):
How many ounce as it was for you?

Speaker 1 (09:45):
For you med okay, that is, you're not putting this
on b so a Viv neglected to close the water
bottle and then tipped it over to see if you
could find the ounces, apparently spilling water on himself right
on my dad, square on the dick.

Speaker 2 (10:01):
There, so square square on the on.

Speaker 1 (10:03):
The right, immediately on the dick there. Yeah, so what
a fucking what a day? This is? All right? So,
we we got a bunch of mail.

Speaker 2 (10:15):
Bag about Spotify.

Speaker 1 (10:19):
Yes, a lot of it. I didn't bother even forwarding it.

Speaker 2 (10:21):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (10:21):
I also mean like we're not on Spotify.

Speaker 2 (10:24):
Yeah. I also got a bunch of blusks and uh
personal instagrams about us not being on Spotify anymore. We're
not on Spotify. Spotify can eat shit, fuck you Spotify.

Speaker 1 (10:37):
Yes, Spotify's fault. And not looking inward at all.

Speaker 2 (10:41):
No, why would we look inward?

Speaker 1 (10:42):
Exactly?

Speaker 2 (10:43):
I'm not funding drone warfare, No, well not yet.

Speaker 1 (10:48):
At least one one of the emails that we're going
to start the the email Spotify, the email the mail
bag here with the first one, we had a bunch
about Spotify. I responded to all of the ones individually,
but this one was actually kind of entertaining. So we're
going to read this one from listener Ashley Ashley in

(11:10):
an email entitled Spotify is gaslighting me? We're just not
there and Ashley, right, steerback.

Speaker 2 (11:17):
Now we're gaslighting you.

Speaker 1 (11:19):
Yeah, this troublesome year of twenty twenty five had a
silver lighting, and that was stumbling onto your podcast on
Spotify after deciding late twenty twenty four to watch all
of SVU since I never had give up Yip right,
your show was perfect. Every still is my gun of
humor a way too.

Speaker 2 (11:40):
It's concrete in my mind. I think it's concentrate.

Speaker 1 (11:44):
Yeah, in my mind what I what I watched with
my eyes. Maybe I will say there, I will say
there are a few things you didn't discuss that I
was hoping would be highlighted.

Speaker 2 (11:58):
I e.

Speaker 1 (11:58):
Maloney's BBL, especially especially the episode where he was drowning.
That guy swear to God his straining pants was like
the eye of Sarah On. I was drawn in and
definitely being looked at. I religiously had been listening at
work since I found this podcast earlier this year.

Speaker 2 (12:20):
So we we have mentioned before that Stabler is pretty
caked up, and we were doing the show when that
that picture surfaced of him with like the butt pad
on where he really looks like he's got some depends.
But yeah, yeah, stables double cheeked up baby.

Speaker 1 (12:38):
Yeah. Now here's my problem. I was only on Spotify
with you weekly, running through episodes so I could do
my best to catch up, and I was up to
season nine when today a twenty nine to twenty five
Spotify attempted to gaslight me. I cannot find your podcast
at all, and the in between movie review episodes that
I had saved, saved to listen to later have been erased.

(13:02):
I can't find a history and I almost broke down
in response, because for because what fever dream is Spotify
attempting to give me? I want to blame Trump. Another
topic that has me screaming, because I've been listening to
the past, just recently, hearing the response to the insurrection,
things like oh, just fucking wait, boys, it's gonna get worse.

(13:23):
We know now, yes for this, because of course it
would be him, But I'm unsure if he himself is
king of gasolating. So here I am, truthfully, I am struggling.
I am a struggling soup in the leaking bowl at
this point.

Speaker 2 (13:40):
Truthfully, I am a struggle struggle.

Speaker 1 (13:43):
Soup in a leaking bowl at this point. Please help
me unravel this crazy thank thank you for your time
in advance, friends of the show and foe of Spotify, Ashley.

Speaker 2 (13:54):
And then thank you, thank you Ashley.

Speaker 1 (13:57):
Yes, Ashley, that is fun. Spotify yep, not a temporary
problem there. They gave us the acts and apparently our
numbers have suffered.

Speaker 2 (14:07):
Yeah, it's tagged. So from Peggy, I.

Speaker 1 (14:11):
Thought, when you when you remove an entire platform that
is responsible for a third of our traffic. Yeah, yeah,
people won't necessarily follow us.

Speaker 2 (14:18):
There's been a mass exodus from Spotify. So next EPISO
from listener Peggy and Peggyan writes in an email entitled
bird Blindness, Hi, Matt and Aviv are either of you
watching season two of Peacemaker? I have watched the first episode,
but not any other episodes. Matt, Probably not right, Nope.

Speaker 1 (14:39):
Not season one, not season two. Let's still haven't even
finished the suicide squad.

Speaker 2 (14:43):
That's good. Uh. Tim Medos's character reveals an episode two
that he has bird blindness. It's like Aviva's face blindness,
but you can't distinguish the difference. Between different kinds of birds.
All the best, Peggy. It's interesting because when you said
bird blindness, I just thought you meant he couldn't see
birds at all.

Speaker 1 (15:02):
Nope, that's also not how face blindness works.

Speaker 2 (15:04):
Of you, I can't see face. Where's that? Where's that
noise coming from?

Speaker 1 (15:09):
That's all right. Next email is also from Peggyan, entitled
new smut find pegan. Right. Hi, Matt Avive was scrolling
through the new giveaways on good Reads and came across
this book. I think you'll appreciate the title and cover
art and it is called Grumpy Pucking Orc.

Speaker 2 (15:30):
All right, so now it's time for everyone's I guess
we're back to this. Uh just describing smut titles. Uh.
So we got grumpy pucking Orc from Deborah Dunbar and uh,
it's a it's a it's a kind of a like
a jolly green, giant looking guy. But he's also in

(15:53):
like a chavvy track suit. He looks like a well tracksuit.
He's wearing his track pant, no shirt, and he's got
like a like a hockey stick behind which I didn't
notice before. And he is in a dentist's office and
the dentist's office says our CS on ice, and the
dentist comes up to the guy's nerps. Did I mention

(16:16):
he's green? He is green? And uh, I think they're
probably gonna fuck but yeah, so this has this covers.

Speaker 1 (16:23):
The ORCS, ORCS on ice.

Speaker 2 (16:27):
Ks, ORCS on ice. Oh, I see, I see the
puck is the ORCS on ice. Yeah, or so, I
guess he's in an ORCS on ice hockey league, even
though Orcs aren't green. And uh and yeah, this lady's
gonna suck his dick, I guess or something.

Speaker 1 (16:44):
There we go.

Speaker 2 (16:44):
Yeah, they got the Deborah Dunbar, a grumpy, pucking orc. Yeah,
so thanks, thanks Deborah for writing that. Next emails from
Lester Bentley Bentley Wrights CPS the PEA stands for and me.
I said that last episode and and Bentley says me,

(17:05):
child Parole Services, And I said criminal Parole Services. No,
I was I was making a joke. CPS stands for
Child Protective Services and I didn't want to admit that
I was wrong.

Speaker 1 (17:18):
Well, there you go, and that's all the camail is
fit to go mail. But apparently we have some blue ski.

Speaker 2 (17:22):
Yeah, we have some blue Sky we have some correspondence
from from Instagram. But first a little segment we like
to call I just blew myself.

Speaker 1 (17:31):
I'm afraid I just blew myself. It's got to be
a better way to say that.

Speaker 2 (17:39):
First up is from listener Judge s Rouse aka Miss
Rosemary NYC. And Rose sent a picture, this time unusual
for Rose, but it is of her in a straw
hat and in front of a sign, and the sign
says the painter of the future is a colorists such

(18:00):
as there hasn't seen before Vincent van Go to THEO
Van Go eighteen eighty eight. Not only was she at
some sort of Van Go exhibit, she was wearing a
straw hat.

Speaker 1 (18:17):
There you go.

Speaker 2 (18:18):
Next up is from listener Judge as rosek Miss Rosemary,
and I say, aka, this is the segment week we
like to call judges Chambers. This week's judgment, Rose writes,
Kids is an absolutely unhinged birthday movie. Holy shit, who
hurt you, Matt? Just me? Yeah, just for myself? Yeah,

(18:41):
I hurt yourself. And you were thinking of Scott Grimes
in Band of Brothers, which I love. I said that
I remember seeing Scott Crimes in a uniform which I love,
and I listened to this EP driving to and from
Cought stealing the new Darren Aronofski movie, which co stars
Griffin Dunn Crazy Man.

Speaker 1 (19:02):
Yeah that's an awesome butler as well.

Speaker 2 (19:04):
Yeah yeah, yeah, and Leev Schreiber and Vincent Dinofrio my
wife's friend's father.

Speaker 1 (19:11):
Oh no kidding.

Speaker 2 (19:12):
Yeah. So, Leanne's friend Jody is friends with Layla Dinofrio,
who in twenty twenty was dating a man named Sean Penn,
which is why Leanne started working for the Core Response nonprofit.
And then Layla and Sean got married. That's right, Sean

(19:35):
married one of his contemporary's daughters and then they got divorced.
So yeah, I don't think that they're they're not too
not too close anymore. I don't think a shape. Yeah.
And lastly, but not leasily from the Blue Sky, Miss
super fan Lily Oseeth writes, I'm here. Did you get

(19:57):
the Dean Kine spelled wrong? However? You his name Ice
training article? Sure did, Lily, sure.

Speaker 1 (20:03):
Did, from multiple people.

Speaker 2 (20:07):
So so many people. Little did I know that years ago,
when I talked about what a piece of shit Dean
Kine is, that it would be the gift that keeps
on giving.

Speaker 1 (20:17):
I mean, should we come up with a music cue
for anytime Dean Kane is brought up. See, I don't
even know what it would be.

Speaker 2 (20:27):
Ev in the future, it's gonna be something copyrighted, that's
for sure.

Speaker 1 (20:32):
We're just gonna be removed from all platforms, right Like,
it's just eventually gonna happen. Apple will kick us off
and then we'll literally just be shouting into the void.

Speaker 2 (20:40):
No, we're good, We're fine. It's great. So that's all
the mail bags fit to mail bag. As always, you
can get at us all. All of the instagrams were
about us being removed from Spotify. You can get at us.
We're at SVU podcast on Blue Sky and Instagram. So
here's the thing, Jordan, I'm talking to you. Jordan. You

(21:03):
said that you were going to do the Instagram. Now
I'm doing the Instagram and I don't want to be
so uh you know, get to it. Thanks doing the Instagram.
What are you doing on these fucking nothing? That's the
that's the that's the really tragic part is so what's
just well, we've got three followers and one of them's

(21:26):
Greg Chesterson. Uh so yeah, So.

Speaker 1 (21:30):
It's the second one. You know I don't follow your personal.

Speaker 2 (21:37):
So yeah, follow us on follow us on Instagram. There's
nothing there yet, but there might be one day. And
uh and yeah, that's SU podcast on on Blue Sky
and Instagram, the official Blue Sky and Instagram handle of
I guess Dean Kane.

Speaker 1 (21:53):
I don't like that, but I guess you can take
that to the bank, the blood bank. Senator Uh longer
weirder stef sent us an email Special Viewing Unit gmail
dot com. Uh And now, without further ado, on to
the main event where we're gonna be viewing and reviewing
Season seventeen episode twenty one of SVU entitled Assaulting Reality.
Right after this and we're back, and as you said

(22:17):
before the break, we're gonna be viewing in reviewing Season seventeen,
episode twenty one of SVU entitled Assaulting Reality just where
monitory listeners. All the episodes are availble to watch on
Hulu and Peacock for now because Hulu is still around.
Might not be.

Speaker 2 (22:31):
I feel like whatever, more and more angry at me
for saying, who is not going to be around that
litt much longer.

Speaker 1 (22:38):
I think you might be right, and I might be
You're absolutely right.

Speaker 2 (22:42):
I didn't do it. I didn't do nothing.

Speaker 1 (22:44):
I blame you with evuh so watch the episode. No,
it's I don't know how I feel about this week's episode.
To be completely honest.

Speaker 2 (22:50):
It's I liked it.

Speaker 1 (22:52):
It's fine. I I the fact that we're still referring
to these people as the elite group of detectives, where
their response isn't just like just find the footage of
who win?

Speaker 2 (23:02):
Is also when the TV shows like these New York
NYPD fucking morons couldn't do a thing, and they're not like, Wow,
they really got this time.

Speaker 1 (23:14):
Right, They're like, how dare they? But before we get
into breaking down the episode, in the grandest tradition that
we have on this podcast, Vive, you're gonna hit us
with a ninety second recap able to do it? You
said for however many times.

Speaker 2 (23:26):
You've said it, But this one, this one is very linear.

Speaker 1 (23:31):
I mean kind of yeah.

Speaker 2 (23:33):
But I'm gonna I'm gonna watch the clock. I'm gonna
watch my clock.

Speaker 1 (23:36):
Okay, sure, clad.

Speaker 2 (23:38):
Then I got my new setup going here we are.

Speaker 1 (23:41):
Uh So, Viv, we're gonna put ninety seconds on the clock.
Why don't you tell us what the fuck happened to
this week's episode of.

Speaker 2 (23:45):
Sv Okay, You guys, Heart's Desire is the best reality
show around. It's it's got some weird live component and
it's like a Bachelor, but there's more than one bachelor
and bachelorette anyway they're doing in this live show. And
wouldn't you know it, Melanie and Ryan went to the

(24:05):
fantasy suite, the dream suite last night, and whoops, there's
footage of Ryan raping Melanie. And so she stands up
in the middle of the studio and is like, I'm
a virgin. I would never let him sleep with me,
and and and everyone's like cuts a commercial, and so
all of the SVU detectives claim to not watch the show,

(24:25):
but the chief of detective's wife once answers, and so
it turns out that Melanie doesn't remember what happened, but
definitely wouldn't have consented to sex, and her rape kit
comes back positive for spermicide, a lubricant and so and
like other uprasions that are consistent in sex. And so
Ryan at first says that everything was consensual, and then

(24:50):
when his divorce attorney mother comes to to like forcibly
remove him from the show. He changes his tune and
says that it instead of having sex with her like
he claimed, she said that they she didn't want to
have sex until they were married, but once they were married,
she would give him her most precious gift. So he

(25:11):
got thoroughly spooked and left and uh. And so they
talked to Lizzie, who is the main producer of the show,
and her two bosses, who is a married couple named
Jeffrey and Regina Prince. And so everyone claims that like
there's no footage, they're missing the footage. They can't find

(25:32):
the footage, and the cops are like, give us the footage,
and they're like, no, I guess and uh and and
everyone starts talking about how everyone's a liar, and Gigi,
one of the other contestants, says that she was with Ryan.
She was she was having sex with Ryan when Ryan
was supposedly supposed to be having sex or raping Melanie,

(25:53):
and so like that's weird, and everyone's like, Gigi's a liar.
She hooked up with everybody, including Ashley b even her
like little card on her headshot says wire and Ashley
be says slut well turns out that, uh, Melanie comes
down with chlamydia. And now SVU is like, give us

(26:16):
all the std records for the entire cast. I don't
think you can do that, but Jeffrey Prince Prince and
Regina Prince say okay, and uh, And it turns out
that it's it's one of the other guys on the show, Graham,
who after Ryan left her whatever her the dream suite,
Graham snuck in and was like, I'm gonna go fuck

(26:37):
this girl because because I like Ceping. Yeah, I guess,
I don't know. And so they uncover this file that
had magically been mislabeled, and there's a bunch of different
file types, and so they had to but they got
like part of the file because they broadcasted, but not
the whole file because it was mislabeled, and and the

(26:58):
and and s FU like really does not fucking believe that.
But they're gonna bring Graham up on charges, and they're
gonna charge the Princes for in the show, for covering
it up. But before they get a chance to do that,
the Princes do like a very special episode of Heart's
Desire that's basically like a Current Affair, and they're like,

(27:20):
we the NYPD was fucking useless, so we uncovered the
evidence ourselves. And there's this like footage of the host
being like, Jeffrey Regina, I found something. He's a fucking
horrible actor. But they sold out Lizzie the the Alex
Mack character Larissa Olainik and made her the scapegoat, so
very quickly they get Lizzie to uh to flip on them,

(27:44):
wear some wear, some hidden cameras and uh and implicate
them and they're like, well, oh, you got us at
our own game, so uh, good job, good job detectives.
You're not as fucking idiotic as we thought. And uh,
let's make a deal. And they tell Lizzy that the
Princes will never work in television again. That is incorrect.

(28:04):
They absolutely will and uh and they they tell Melanie
to just like go home, and her mom drives in
from Idaho and Melanie's like, you know, I actually thought
Ryan and I were in love, and they is like, ah,
that's nice, goodbye, dick Wolf.

Speaker 1 (28:21):
It's uh, it's it's pretty wild.

Speaker 2 (28:24):
It's so it's so wild.

Speaker 1 (28:27):
It's the I like, so the two people that the
Princes are played by the guy that's Burt from Tremors
and the other lady who's just like the classic that.

Speaker 2 (28:41):
Lady, Nina van Horn from Just Shoot Me. Yeah. Just
who's Wendy Mallick who's also in Shrinking, which I really
like on Apple TV.

Speaker 1 (28:53):
Plus have not heard heard good or.

Speaker 2 (28:57):
Have not have heard of it?

Speaker 1 (29:00):
I've I've heard of it. She's also the Jesse Eisenberg's
character's mom.

Speaker 2 (29:04):
In Yeah, Yes, I I should mention I don't. I
don't think I mentioned it before, but I don't think
it made the show. I had this job, not this job.
I didn't like cover up a rape on reality TV.

(29:25):
But I I had a job on a reality show
that was a called it D. I T a digital
intermediate technician. So this this whole thing that they're talking
about of like, oh, the camera recorded and it was
in the wrong folder and it was in the and
it was the wrong file type. Like that was my
job to do that on a show on a show

(29:48):
called Killer Whales, which was a shark tank riff. But
everything was crypto based, uh, and it is. It was
not a good show to work on. It's a fine
show to work on.

Speaker 1 (30:01):
It was interesting personalities, the check cleared, so it was
a fine enough show to work on.

Speaker 2 (30:06):
That the Czech did clear, and I did spend a
few days talking to Anthony Scaramucci, which what was that
like he likes the Yankees.

Speaker 1 (30:18):
Okay, that's how I was about, right, I would believe that.

Speaker 2 (30:21):
I didn't really know anything about Oh, I guess season
two hasn't come out yet. I didn't really know anything
about Scaramucci before he was Trump's Press secretary. But I
guess he was like some kind of entrepreneur.

Speaker 1 (30:36):
I mean, I sure, I guess that's but yeah, it
was the first, the first Trump administration where they were
like sort of trying to like have funny like semi qualified.

Speaker 2 (30:51):
Yeah, yeah, funny, but.

Speaker 1 (30:54):
Some background in something that they would be doing right, right,
not not current administration where it's just like are.

Speaker 2 (31:02):
You a teenager who posts on the internet? Yeah, so
Killer Whales. We shot season two last summer and it
hasn't come out yet, which is uh so it was
on like Roku City, you know how Roku there's a
Roku city in the beginning of Roku When you turn

(31:23):
on the Roku there's like a little city that you
drive by. Who's on that?

Speaker 1 (31:28):
As it turns out, no, I'm I'm not familiar.

Speaker 2 (31:31):
Well, so if you, if you, if you can believe it,
the producers of the show very into like decentralized blockchain
YadA YadA, YadA. Right, and so they.

Speaker 1 (31:44):
Were a little you started out with that at the top.

Speaker 2 (31:47):
Yeah, so so they were a little bit averse to
a traditional network marketing sort of approach. So they I
think that they like self released basically.

Speaker 1 (32:02):
Okay, well so they disrupted their own disruption.

Speaker 2 (32:06):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, they disrupted their own disruption.

Speaker 1 (32:09):
And I ed Norton from Glass Onion. She disrupted her
own disruption.

Speaker 2 (32:14):
But because of this, I know a couple of things
about this show, namely that all of this footage to
make it to air would have been logged weeks in advance.
So like suspension of disbelief on this thing of being like, oh,
this happened yesterday and now we're talking about it live
on TV. That wouldn't basically ever happen. But sure, this

(32:37):
is the show that we're making, right, So.

Speaker 1 (32:40):
I was thinking about this. So the newest season of
Love Island, just sure, not that long ago. They just
did their reunion yea.

Speaker 2 (32:49):
Again, I sometimes the reunions are live, but basically nothing
else right, I.

Speaker 1 (32:57):
Know that much. But like basically, for a lot of
these reality TV by the time you're watching it, everyone
is already back from the island or the villa or
the fucking wherever the fuck this is. So the fact
that they're still shooting, yeah, there's still like, come on, guys,
we only got two episodes until the finale. It's like
this happened this this, that's that's not how this would happen. Also,

(33:21):
can we stop having literal babies on the show that
are the rape victims that don't understand the concept of rape?

Speaker 2 (33:31):
Well, she the concept of rape. She just she was
just would like remember what happened? She because she kind
of didn't.

Speaker 1 (33:39):
You're right, No, they literally Rollins has to explain it
to her.

Speaker 2 (33:44):
Yeah, and she said to explain it to her. She
said that the princess told her that because she said
that she would one day want to have sex with Ryan,
that it's okay that he just decided to have sex
with her last night.

Speaker 1 (33:59):
Like, I so the show. I know, it's it's been
seventeen fucking seasons. I get it, guys, we've I but like,
at a certain point in time, the crazy factor shouldn't
come from the fact that you have literally just birthed
some sort of like a fucking replicant that doesn't understand

(34:19):
things and interacts in the world. And then it's just like, oh,
was that was I raped?

Speaker 2 (34:25):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (34:25):
Is that what that was?

Speaker 2 (34:27):
I'm gonna give this show a little bit of credit
because she does stand up in the middle of the
live broadcast and be like, I was raped, And then
when the cops talk to her, she's like, Okay, they
like explain to me that I wasn't raped. And I
think that like part of that was just like how
many zeros on this doing to write in this check
that I.

Speaker 1 (34:44):
Would be okay with? But they need to do a
little bit more work.

Speaker 2 (34:48):
Yeah yeah at home or.

Speaker 1 (34:49):
Whatever, she says, like, because you would need her later
to try to recant and then have our SPU detectives
be like, did someone get like you have.

Speaker 2 (34:59):
To yeah, even that stupid?

Speaker 1 (35:01):
Then you need to assume that the audience is equally
as stupid, and lay.

Speaker 2 (35:05):
That there are and they they even say that she's
like a great witness because she never changed her story
or whatever.

Speaker 1 (35:14):
Right, So I just this is literally two weeks in
a row that we've had someone that like literally like
I was.

Speaker 2 (35:22):
Raped, doesn't realize that she's been right.

Speaker 1 (35:24):
For this week's episode, at least they do a little
bit more work to be like, well, this girl is
a virgin, so it's.

Speaker 2 (35:30):
Like, yeah, yeah, any.

Speaker 1 (35:31):
Sex would equal as opposed to last week's where it's like,
has this girl literally never had consensual sex before? Because
what she's discribed, She's like, isn't that just how sex were?

Speaker 2 (35:40):
Yeah? My boyfriend, Yeah, so what.

Speaker 1 (35:44):
Has sex with me? I don't want them to. But
then I get a modeling contract, so that's how that's
that equals sex. At least this girl is like, I've
never had sex before. I'm from fucking Idaho.

Speaker 2 (35:55):
Yeah, she knows that it's her most precious gap.

Speaker 1 (35:59):
Right, she stamp that that's the most the highest order
of things. But you know what I'm saying, it's like,
come on, like fucking come on, man, Like you might
as well literally just be putting people in fucking onesies
and having to crawl around on the goddamn floor at
this point saying Google fucking Gaga, and then Barba's like,

(36:21):
I don't know if we can swear in this human
baby that's twenty five years old, that doesn't understand sex,
Blood Order, Baby View Victims Unit, like you might as well.

Speaker 2 (36:33):
There's been a wave.

Speaker 1 (36:37):
How many people said yes to this and no one
was like, doesn't it seem kind of fucking strange?

Speaker 2 (36:43):
So I was, Okay, if it didn't happen last week,
I would have been totally fine with this.

Speaker 1 (36:49):
Right, But it's two weeks in a row.

Speaker 2 (36:51):
That's the thing is is satter.

Speaker 1 (36:53):
It makes it. It makes it a little difficult to
suspend the disbelief.

Speaker 2 (36:58):
So we open it on a on a live taping
of Heart's Desire Live in NYC. And it looks pretty
accurate how they shoot these things in studio. There's like
a group of girls, and it seems like this is
a show where I don't quite know how Love Island works,
but it seems like this is a show where there's
men and women and if they don't couple up, they

(37:19):
get voted off, and then the last one that's love. Okay,
that's love. I was like a little unclear on how
the like game mechanic worked, but I think I figured
it out eventually.

Speaker 1 (37:32):
Right Again, I've always seen the one season of Love Island,
so I don't know if there was more to it
or the latest variation, but it's basically like, yeah, if
you're single, you're single and vulnerable.

Speaker 2 (37:40):
Get out. And so they the host Dipshit o' hulahan
or whatever the fuck is fucking name is is like, okay, yeah,
John Valentine, man, fuck you. And so John.

Speaker 1 (37:57):
Real name, that's that's a fucking stage name before ever
heard one.

Speaker 2 (38:01):
John Valentine is like, okay, So you four girls are
vying for the affections of tennis pro Ryan, who is
from San Diego. And we see a picture of Ryan.
He looks like a rapist for sure, and the and
the the black girl, because there's always you know, the one. Yeah,

(38:23):
the black Girl's like, we all know that he's not
picking me. This is a network show. They don't, they won't,
they won't let an interracial relationship happen.

Speaker 1 (38:32):
Like the fact that I've made self is astounding.

Speaker 2 (38:36):
And the entire world is basically watching this. So there's
a big studio audience full of women, and so much
so that like I can't tell who's a contestant who's not.
And then it's also on at the bar where Olivia
and Tucker do they just live at the bar now,
but she's drinking like a coffee.

Speaker 1 (38:56):
It's their place of eve. My note was like, wait a, say,
did live a quick drinking or again, we're just.

Speaker 2 (39:03):
She looks like she's drinking coffee. She's drinking out of
a bug. It's not like a moscow mule mug.

Speaker 1 (39:09):
She's she's sticking a little whiskey into that.

Speaker 2 (39:11):
Uh yeah, irish, a little bit irish up that coffee,
and and so.

Speaker 1 (39:16):
And they literally, okay, no, this is the best part
where it lives, Like who watches this crap smash cut two?

Speaker 2 (39:23):
Yeah, as well, it's a greasy before that. So they
like track across this this oh shit, they track across
this bar where these two ladies are like mooning at
at heart's desire, which like makes sense. The bar near
my old place in Boston used to be a bachelor bar,

(39:44):
so like people will go and watch the Bachelor there,
I guess. But then Olivia is like can you turn
this off? And and not Barbara? Uh, Tucker is like,
or just throw the TV out? Haven't we done that
joke before? Haven't we done this exact joke in this bar? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (40:05):
I was gonna say probably. As Tucker was being framed
for a yeah, Tucker just got his shield back. I
guess after being on suspension is just like living large
at the bar now.

Speaker 2 (40:20):
And I would I would have loved the bartender to
be like, oh, Ed always making that one joke about
throwing my TV out. I guess, but.

Speaker 1 (40:30):
Ed, you know that it doesn't just play this one
thing right that.

Speaker 2 (40:33):
We can change the channel, change.

Speaker 1 (40:35):
The channel, there'll be no reason for me to throw away.

Speaker 2 (40:36):
I hate the box with the lights in it?

Speaker 1 (40:40):
And are you doing okay?

Speaker 2 (40:42):
I hate it.

Speaker 1 (40:43):
I'm got this piece of paper. Can you identify which
of these animals as an elephant?

Speaker 2 (40:47):
Person, man, woman, camera?

Speaker 1 (40:49):
Okay, okay, and this nice person's gonna take you somewhere else.

Speaker 2 (40:54):
So yeah, Olivia says, who watches this ship? And then
we hard cut to Amanda. I watched this ship.

Speaker 1 (41:03):
On the couch eating popcorn with her dog apparently actual
dog and dog Franny Frank given the dog popcorn. Great dog. Actor,
gotta love that, and mean while Caresee is just tending.

Speaker 2 (41:17):
To suiled swaddling the infant.

Speaker 1 (41:20):
And then they're fucking it there and someone says something
and Greasee is like, oh that fucking bitch. I'm like,
cares and Rollins. I'm very rapidly loving these.

Speaker 2 (41:29):
Two I do. I really like them together.

Speaker 1 (41:32):
Grees on his own is just a fucking mook, but
you put him with Rollins, it somehow works out.

Speaker 2 (41:38):
I don't. I don't get it, and and he basically
is like, oh do Boris played this game so well.
But the premise of the show is that they have
just gone on They've all just gone on individual dates
with Ryan and one of them maltimeal liv Tyler who
we eventually were and her name is Gigi. It went

(42:03):
on like a helicopter ride with.

Speaker 1 (42:06):
She got finger fucked in.

Speaker 2 (42:09):
She got finger fucked like like the cameras right there,
like they're really they're they're going, they're there, and.

Speaker 1 (42:18):
I'm like, okay, so the pilot is just like so
if you okay, never mind, I'm just gonna keep my
eyes forward, flying the flying the helicopter.

Speaker 2 (42:26):
It's a little aggressive to show on network TV.

Speaker 1 (42:30):
A little my god fucking. At a certain point in time,
she's like, yeah, it was such a great date. We
were over the most romantic city ever. I'm like, New
York City is the city in the world, don't think so.

Speaker 2 (42:40):
The trash and piss smell I'm.

Speaker 1 (42:43):
Gonna say, I think probably Paris is gonna top that
bike a couple of notches. But what do I Know's like, hell, Chicago,
we couldn't see anything because the windows were so steamy.
So I'm just picturing like a hard cut back to
like a scene where it's like, you kid, there's like
beeps from the things, like she's like, we're going.

Speaker 2 (43:02):
Down and like and like her hand is up on
the thing like Rose and Titanic.

Speaker 1 (43:06):
Yeah, exactly, that's the fucking thing plummets to the earth.

Speaker 2 (43:11):
But Ryan Ryan also went on a date with Melanie
and they went on a carriage ride and uh, and
they're like the John Valentine's like, you had a good
time with him, right, and she's like yeah. He's like,
let's take a look at you tube fucking and she's
like what And then they cut to night vision of

(43:32):
you know, the two of them fucking in in in
the dream suite.

Speaker 1 (43:37):
The best part about this was the guy's like, hey,
let's go up to the fuck out the keys to
the fucking dream suite. Let's go up there. She's like okay,
and they're making out and she's like, oh, you're a
really nice guy. And then like the door closes, and
then Valentine says to her. She's like, he's like that
was a pretty big step for you, and she's like,
I mean not really yeah, and then like I'm having

(43:58):
sex and she's like, wait what.

Speaker 2 (44:01):
I'm a virgin. I didn't say yes to sleeping with him.
And then she stands up and accuses him of rape
on live TV. And we finally cut to like the
control room where Lizzy Alissa Larissa Olinik from you Know,
Ten Things I Hate About You and Alex Mack and

(44:23):
all this other stuff. The Third Rock from the Sun
is like got to commercial, Like we're at the fucking
first Seed a Studio sixty in the Sunset strip, and
this is what never happened. This would just never for
this exact reason, we don't do live things like this.

Speaker 1 (44:45):
No, it's it's live to tape and then edit.

Speaker 2 (44:48):
It and frankly all of this stuff, I mean like
they talk a little bit about it later where they're like, yeah,
all this stuff is like super manipulated. Like that takes
a lot long time. They have like entire series arcs
planned out, so they can't just kind of do this
on the fly, especially like what if someone dies, and

(45:09):
then they have to go back and recut the whole season,
but not whatnot if it's already aired.

Speaker 1 (45:15):
Yeah, and so everyone sees this specifically, and.

Speaker 2 (45:21):
And the chief detective's wife.

Speaker 1 (45:23):
Yeah, and Creasey is the woe that's like, well, just
remember it's reality TV, or I think Finn says that
none of it's real, and which is unaware of whatever
you're watching on reality TV.

Speaker 2 (45:37):
It's it's it's all.

Speaker 1 (45:40):
It's not They should stuck going it reality. Just call
it unscripted.

Speaker 2 (45:43):
They do. They do stop calling they have stop calling
it reality. It is just called unscripted. So like if
you're applying for a job or something in like on
a show, it'll be this show is an unscripted versus
a scripted show. Yeah. And they also they say a
little bit later that there is a script, like this
is all part of the script. And I don't think

(46:04):
that they would say that. And also Lizzie says like
this is all very scripted. I don't think they would
say that because that's not actually true. It's not it's
not scripted. It's like manipulated, engineered. Right, There is no
one ever writes anything down for someone to say, it's
just someone like Lizzy going in and be like, yeah,
can you just throw a drink in her face for

(46:25):
us real quick?

Speaker 1 (46:26):
It's like okay, great, thank you, Okay, bye, now go
back to hanging out doing sitting around all day.

Speaker 2 (46:34):
By the way, do you know is Love Island on Netflix?

Speaker 1 (46:39):
No, it's Peacock.

Speaker 2 (46:41):
Okay, So on Netflix, specifically, all of the reality shows
use the same kind of opaque silver glasses for them
to like drink out of, you.

Speaker 1 (46:53):
Know, yeah, yeah, I.

Speaker 2 (46:56):
Don't know if they do that on Love Island, but
it's specifically because they want to be able to cut
around conversations and they don't want to worry about drink continuity. Oh.

Speaker 1 (47:08):
I always thought it was just because they didn't want
I mean, that makes all the sense of the world. Actually,
I thought it was simply like they don't want to
show specifically what they're drinking, Like, is it booze? Is
it not right?

Speaker 2 (47:20):
We all know it's it's all. It's always booze.

Speaker 1 (47:22):
It's always fucking booze. It's like you never find out
about people that because I'm sure they have to have
people that like have some sort of addiction problem go
on these shows.

Speaker 2 (47:31):
Yeah, they definitely like want the people with the addiction problem,
like I remember.

Speaker 1 (47:36):
They definitely want them to fall off the wagon.

Speaker 2 (47:38):
Yeah, the real world Hawaii where one of the girls
had to like leave to go to rehab the like
first night there, she like passed out in the shower.

Speaker 1 (47:46):
No, it was even worse. It was Ruthie drunk home. Yes,
they went to the club and they just filmed her
driving drunk.

Speaker 2 (47:55):
Yes, yes, yes, yes, and Juliet had to pick her
up in the shower.

Speaker 1 (48:01):
That was New Orleans though, what was it?

Speaker 2 (48:03):
I thought it was Hawaii.

Speaker 1 (48:05):
No, the Mormon girl was from New Orleans.

Speaker 2 (48:08):
See now we're now we're talking my era of reality anyway.

Speaker 1 (48:12):
See, like so it's full disclosure. Like again, I I
for the first time, Guessie, I watched Love Island this season.
Love trash television. Oh, I mean, I know it's trash.
I know you are a connoisseur as well.

Speaker 2 (48:24):
Oh yeah, Oh, I meant to say something earlier that
I forgot about when we were talking about how everything
is filmed way later. So one of the shows, if
you check the tape, one of the shows that I
really like is The Ultimatum, uh, which we've which we've
talked about before on this show, where one partner gives
the other marry me or else what anything else or

(48:49):
else we break up, and then they go to a
place where all a bunch of other people have done
the same thing, and then they just like swap partners for.

Speaker 1 (48:57):
Three weeks and see what happens.

Speaker 2 (48:59):
And see what happens, and then they have to go
back to their original partners for three weeks to be like,
this is our trial marriage, and at the end of
this you'll either propose to be or walk away, and
and so like basically, the day it came out, we
watched a few episodes. We watched the Ultimatum Queer Love
episode or season, and then we went to see Freakier

(49:22):
Friday and we saw one of the couples from the
Ultimatum who was still together. I was like, well, now
we fucking know, I guess, and so yes, So the
rest of the season we're recorded like six months in advance.
But yeah, So anyway, Barbara shows up. He's like the
chief of D's wife is a is a fan and

(49:45):
wants us to go after the rapist and and it's
weird that he has to be like, it is our
job to go after rapists. But you normally wouldn't do that,
but the chief of detective's wife wants you to, so like,
that's why you do it, because a powerful person's spouse
demands it. Great system we got here.

Speaker 1 (50:09):
It's fantastic when they're sitting around doing like the semi
around the Horn where Finn says nothing is real about
reality television and it's is it Rollin's or is it
careesy that says like, oh uh, we were watching it live.
It looks real, and they were like, what are you doing?
Watch it together time? Yeah, creasy is like I I

(50:30):
never watched it before Robin's made me watch it. I
was getting dinner going, and Finn's like, you were getting
dinner going, And the look on Benson's face like, I
swear to God, I cannot manage my way out of
a wet paper bag.

Speaker 2 (50:43):
My boss is fun, Dodds is just gone. Dodds is
just gone.

Speaker 1 (50:50):
He's just not there today. And it's never a dress.
She's just like, I can't manage this squad. I don't
know how I've made it this far in my career.

Speaker 2 (51:00):
Everyone above her keeps dying or getting arrested.

Speaker 1 (51:04):
I mean, I guess that's a good way to keep
climbing the ladder.

Speaker 2 (51:07):
That's the jd Vance, That's what jd vance is counting on.

Speaker 1 (51:11):
Eventually everyone else will die or the only one left
and they've got the favorite on the scale.

Speaker 2 (51:19):
Yeah. So there are the.

Speaker 1 (51:20):
Cops of either they're not going to arrest, but they
got to do arrest each other.

Speaker 2 (51:24):
Carreesyan and Rollins head over to the what they call
the Triplex, which is like where the contestants live or
the are they called contestants characters where all these people
live the people, Yeah, the people, and Rollins is like starstruck.
She's like, there's the hot tub where actually be slapped
Graham in the second episode.

Speaker 1 (51:43):
Okay, so do you remember I forget how long ago
it was, whateverisode it was, but it was we were talking.
They were kept referring to people as like Ashley B
or something like that, and you had said you'd put
it out. It's like, what are we in like third
grade where it's like, oh, yes, Ashley B said this.
I think, oh well, Ashley C did like stop saying that.

Speaker 2 (52:02):
But I but I completely reverse course on something like
this because that's what they do on these fucking dumb
reality shows.

Speaker 1 (52:09):
It's hilarious, though. They gotta guess why, I gotta go
with like nicknames or.

Speaker 2 (52:12):
Something, yeah, like the slut or the liar. Yeah. So
they go into like the.

Speaker 1 (52:19):
Like Memento esque, like do not Believe Lies? Yeah, right,
like just the polaroids of everyone in the production office.

Speaker 2 (52:28):
She is the one and kill her. So they go
to the production office and caresy equally starstruck snaps like
a picture of the corkboard where it's like Ashley b Slut,
Gigi liar. They talked to Melanie. Melanie says, the morning
after my date, I was sore down there. My painties
were on the floor. I felt different. I should have
known that I was raped, And like they kind of

(52:52):
give this weird nod. It's Olivia. It gives us weird
nod like yes, a woman can tell, And I'm like,
but but they sometimes can't tell, like right now.

Speaker 1 (53:03):
Right with the whole thing about her not realizing although
I mean, look, I've never gone to sleep and then
woke up and my underwear is not on me.

Speaker 2 (53:15):
Like what a what a what a fancy life you
must lead.

Speaker 1 (53:19):
Without having any recollection of that happening.

Speaker 2 (53:23):
I have you ever sleep and then you wake up
in both legs are in one leg of your underwear?
Never once hm hm wild card that he got the
beginning of the middle of the end of that story.
So I don't know what what else you need?

Speaker 1 (53:40):
I want to know what? But what? But how? But
the how?

Speaker 2 (53:44):
Who can say I was sleep? Right?

Speaker 1 (53:49):
Boy? That's that's a real head scratcher there.

Speaker 2 (53:53):
Who could was? My foot was coming out of the
fly of my boxes?

Speaker 1 (53:59):
So thing that's going terribly wrong.

Speaker 2 (54:02):
So so they talk to Lizzie Larissa o'lainik, and she's like,
all right, so here's the deal. This isn't like a
real show, so probably Melanie didn't that didn't happen. We
typically like clear stuff, but like maybe she's like making

(54:25):
a play for Ryan to try to stay on the
show or whatever. And the person the people you really
need to talk to are Jeffrey and Regina Prince, who
are the like EPs of this of this show, and
they're a married couple and they're the kind of the bosses.

Speaker 1 (54:44):
Right, because she says, like I talked to her the
next morning and she didn't mention anything about this, So
that's what we're going with. So we go over to
talk to them, and it's played by the guy that's
Burt from Tremor's correct, the fucking should.

Speaker 2 (55:03):
Not Burt Trevor Bert Tremors. It's Michael Goss plays Jeffrey
Prince and Wendy Mallick is Regina Prince. Yeah, and we
mentioned where they're from before.

Speaker 1 (55:15):
Yes, and he's a respawn because.

Speaker 2 (55:18):
He is uh the episode lust.

Speaker 1 (55:23):
She is not though, which is surprising.

Speaker 2 (55:25):
Actually maybe maybe she She's been on so many things
it's like tough too. Yeah. No, this is the only
episode that she's in.

Speaker 1 (55:38):
Okay. Yeah, because Cassie came in and out of the
room at a certain point in time, it was her
Bert and Alex mack all in the frame at the
same time. She was like, what the fuck is happening here?

Speaker 2 (55:47):
Yeah, what's going on? Yeah? They talked to uh, to
these two the Princes, and and they also talked to
John Valentine, the host, who like come up from the
from the control room and is like, yeah, so, uh,
let me give you let me give you cops a
little tip. Don't ask questions. I just stand on my

(56:11):
mark and say my lines. And this girl's lying and
even if she isn't lying, she signed the rape waiver,
so uh, gotta go by and they're.

Speaker 1 (56:20):
Like, a waiver, Huh, what the fuck does that mean?
Don't worry because we don't ever follow up on that.
There's we just know that there is apparently some sort
of a waiver that's assuming absolves everyone of rape charges.
Question mark.

Speaker 2 (56:35):
I'm assuming that it is a It is a waiver
that absolves the show from any crime that any contestant
commits against a different contestant. That's that's a pretty standard
thing to.

Speaker 1 (56:48):
Side, which also seems weird.

Speaker 2 (56:51):
You know, it's not great.

Speaker 1 (56:52):
It's not good that that shouldn't be a thing.

Speaker 2 (56:55):
So they talked to Ryan. He shows up and like
voluntarily gives his his uh I was to say confession
his testimony, and is like it was consensual, it was
consensual and it was magical cool, and yeah.

Speaker 1 (57:11):
This is where Finn and Crazy are like, all right,
so you're admitting because it have it because she's she's
not saying that it was consensual, and he was like,
fuck that bitch whatever.

Speaker 2 (57:22):
She signed the waiver. So yeah, so they we taught
we see Bert and Nina and and he says, Jeffrey
Prince says that our instruction is to treat is for
the man to treat every young lady on the show
as if she's our daughter, and they're like, do you
have a daughter? Like, oh, heaven's now.

Speaker 1 (57:43):
I thought was the best lie where they were like,
we treat them all like our children you have when
it gets fuck no, why would we want kids? The
hell with that?

Speaker 2 (57:50):
And so their theory of the events is wouldn't you
know it pretty in line with Lizzie's where she's like, listen,
the big reveal was that Ryan got with Gigi, and
so she knew that that happened, and she was trying
to like make a play for Ryan to pick her,
or maybe she was like a virgin and and hated

(58:11):
herself for what happened, and so she like projected that
onto him. We don't really we don't really know, but uh,
we do have this footage of her from the the
day after the date with Ryan, and she's not like
upset at all, and so they show her this footage,
which is an OTF footage, which stands for on the fly.

Speaker 1 (58:31):
Yeah. So and in the interview she's like, oh, it
was great. He was such a gentleman. It was a
magical evening and nothing ever went wrong ever.

Speaker 2 (58:41):
So I have I have a I have some issues
with this. I have some issues with this interview, do
you know? Yeah, so Tip.

Speaker 1 (58:48):
Who was out of focus? And for how long?

Speaker 2 (58:51):
No one was out of focus? But she should be
doing this straight to camera because that's how things have
gone since the real world.

Speaker 1 (58:57):
Right it is, It's just it's it's angled a little bit.

Speaker 2 (59:02):
It's angled, Yeah, but we do we do everything straight
to camera now. And she would need to use complete sentences,
so she wouldn't be able to say it was amazing.
She would have to say my date was with Ryan
was amazing. And so she's not doing that. She's kind
of having like a conversation which is like unusable, and
and the princes say that they don't they didn't use
it because it was boring. And I'm like, you didn't

(59:24):
use it because it's unusable or whatever, also boring. And
this is also where I see.

Speaker 1 (59:30):
It's boring, which is why it was unusable.

Speaker 2 (59:32):
Yeah, uh, this is all. This is also when I
see that the postcard or the sticky note on Ashley
Be's picture just says slud It's fantastic.

Speaker 1 (59:43):
No, but it's the if you're looking, if you're ever
in the market for an episode specific drinking game and
you want to get fucked up. Every time someone says
cried rape in this episode, oh my god, be dead
by three quarters of the way through the episode, like
it's it's interesting because he keeps using that phrase, like.

Speaker 2 (01:00:06):
And the cops just allow them to use that phrase
as though it is a legitimate thing that people do,
which it isn't, and they don't.

Speaker 1 (01:00:14):
Again we cannot especially and again I cannot stress this enough.
There is literal fucking footage of the rape.

Speaker 2 (01:00:25):
That but play it on network television, like.

Speaker 1 (01:00:29):
There is honest to god evidence of the crime happening
in not real time, but like pretty I mean now
it's just a film, like and the fact they're not
like great, so.

Speaker 2 (01:00:46):
Another case of someone making up being raped. Gotta even
though like it's it's not it's not on camera. It's fine.

Speaker 1 (01:00:57):
I just I don't every times it was like, cried
rape again, our elite squad detective should be like no, no, no, no, no, again.

Speaker 2 (01:01:07):
We have the footage, but they don't have the footage.
They don't have the footage because they're like, give us
the full tape and the show is like, yeah, we will,
and the fact.

Speaker 1 (01:01:18):
That our detectives aren't like okay, so we got all
of their hard drives and everything like that. And you
know what, coincidentally, isn't on any of that the footage
that they showed to ten million people live on air. Hmm.
Maybe we'd just maybe such the fact that they don't
make a bigger deal out of that.

Speaker 2 (01:01:35):
It's like they do point it out, but they're just
like that sucks, doesn't it.

Speaker 1 (01:01:40):
They pointed out two seconds before the DIOSX market of
them coming in being like, oh, we didn't give this.

Speaker 2 (01:01:46):
Too, we found it.

Speaker 1 (01:01:47):
Yeah, yeah, right, Like that's where it's like, just don't
bother like before, there needs to be a bigger deal
made of this because they spend so much time being
like we're going to go and interview that. It's like interviewing.

Speaker 2 (01:01:58):
Anyone that should be the thing they should like and
and Barba says that he can subpoena all of the
the hard drives and I'm like, yes, do that, like
go find that foot well whatever, Okay, So they later.

Speaker 1 (01:02:10):
They're like we're gonna do all this investigating. It's like,
but why though you literally are You've got you know,
everyone's everyone's movements are recorded. You can literally just sit
there and watch the footage. Is that's what happened.

Speaker 2 (01:02:28):
So before that happens, they they talked to Melanie because
they're like, hey, Melanie, Ryan says that it was consensual,
and you yourself, on this footage that the Princess showed us,
say that Ryan was a perfect gentleman. And she's like, yeah,
I said Ryan was a perfect gentleman before I knew
that he raped me.

Speaker 1 (01:02:47):
So again, it's like you're you're missing the large portion
here of like, well you said that. It's like, yeah,
but if I didn't remember something happening to me and
then you showed me that that happened to me, I'm
gonna immediately have a different opinion.

Speaker 2 (01:02:59):
I'm not and I'm not not making this a one
to one thing. But let's say you and I hang
out and we have a great night. We're having a
great time, and then I find out that at like
while we were hanging out, that your wife broke into
my house and stole all my stuff. And before I
find that out, I'm like, oh, yeah, this is a

(01:03:20):
great time. I say it on camera. Matt and I
had a great time out. The next day, I'm gonna
be like, yeah, Matt did that so his wife could
steal all my shit. Not like that. No one should
be like, well, why did you say you had a
great time with Matt? I didn't know.

Speaker 1 (01:03:37):
But you know what, Matt, I was just hanging out
for the sake of hanging out. What happened outside of
my purview.

Speaker 2 (01:03:43):
It was consensual and it was glorious, magical, so perfect.

Speaker 1 (01:03:50):
Gentleman like I just it's so I the fact, like,
and I understand it. Guys, we're making a television show.
We have to have a store, we have to have
them do something. It's not just like correct, great, just
send us all the fucking footage and we'll just very
clearly arrest the person. To be fair, we're getting ahead
of ourselves because we don't know at this point that
it wasn't Ryan. Yea quickly find out that is Ryan.

Speaker 2 (01:04:12):
It's interesting because like, I guess that they're trying to
rail Who are they trying to railroad in this It
doesn't make sense to me.

Speaker 1 (01:04:20):
I don't think they're trying to railroad anyway. I think
they're like Ryan raped her. Let's go fucking arrest Ryan
because no.

Speaker 2 (01:04:25):
No, no, the princes. Who who's the show trying? Like,
why is the show doing this?

Speaker 1 (01:04:32):
Oh? Well, because the show is because they're just trying
to protect themselves there, so the show is trying to well,
they're ultimately trying to railroad Alex mac.

Speaker 2 (01:04:41):
Sure, but why Okay, so okay, but let's play this out.
This is this This just hit me like a fucking bullet.

Speaker 1 (01:04:49):
So let's do it.

Speaker 2 (01:04:51):
So the act just like when.

Speaker 1 (01:04:53):
We realized last week, the only wait makes sense is
if that girl had never had consensual sex with the
like way this makes sense. Sorry, all right, let's do
some math.

Speaker 2 (01:05:01):
Okay, So let's do some math. Alex Mack wakes up
in the middle of the night and discovers that Graham
has snuck into Melanie's room and raped her. Why then,
in what universe does it make sense for her to
reuse that footage to make it seem like Ryan and

(01:05:27):
Melanie were having consensual sex. What does that do for
the How does that make the show better? Are they?
Did they do this all to like paint Melanie and
Ryan to be in love? She like straight up says
I am in love with Ryan, Like we don't need that.

Speaker 1 (01:05:44):
I'll do you even one better, because according to them,
they were then gonna say that like it was gonna
be the twist that Ryan was actually gonna pick Gigi
because Ryan left her and went and fucked Gigi.

Speaker 2 (01:06:00):
So so why not just be like, oh, we saw
Graham rape somebody on camera last night.

Speaker 1 (01:06:07):
Here you go, police, well, because the bad press, I
guess of a rape happened on a reality TV show.

Speaker 2 (01:06:15):
Sure, so they're trying to cover up that the rape
ever happened by showing the footage of the rape to
the rape victim on live television.

Speaker 1 (01:06:26):
Shut up, if it makes sense, it makes sense. Shut up,
shut shut up, shut shut shoes, shut up now.

Speaker 2 (01:06:32):
So the cops are like, Melanie, you can't go back
to that house, no shit, thank you, and she's like, yeah,
the princes they got me a hotel room to stay
at while the investigation is going. And I wrote down
you definitely should not stay in the hotel room that
the prince.

Speaker 1 (01:06:52):
And say toolme's murder hotel.

Speaker 2 (01:06:54):
Yeah right, And so Barbara says that his mother watches
the show and wouldn't you know what, Ryan has showed
up to SVU with his mother, who is a divorce lawyer,
and his mother's like, tell him, Ryan, tell him what
you told me.

Speaker 1 (01:07:12):
And Ryan's like, all right, well, uh so I lied
to you before. It turns out I did not have
sex with her. She said that whenever we were married,
she was gonna give me her most precious gift, and
that freaked me the fuck out.

Speaker 2 (01:07:24):
So so I left.

Speaker 1 (01:07:26):
So I went and fucked Gigi because everyone knows she's
the slut.

Speaker 2 (01:07:30):
No, Gigi's the liar, ashlely.

Speaker 1 (01:07:33):
Right right, right right.

Speaker 2 (01:07:35):
He's like, yeah, she's a liar, so if so if
she said I fucked her, no one would believe her.

Speaker 1 (01:07:40):
So they they're like, well, we did a rape kid
and there was evidence of of sexual activity and he's like,
I don't have to tell you then, uh. And then
he's like, can you tell me what brand of condoment was?

Speaker 2 (01:07:54):
Andant yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:07:56):
As a matter of fact, I can. It was Sultan's
Delight or whatever.

Speaker 2 (01:08:00):
Yeah. Right, He's like, oh, there's a whole fucking bowl
of Sultan's Delights in every room. Someone must have come
in after I left there, and everyone is like, wouldn't
it be nice if there were hundreds of cameras that
we could look.

Speaker 1 (01:08:13):
At oh wait, there is and the fact that the
episode isn't like and that's how they solved the case.

Speaker 2 (01:08:19):
The end.

Speaker 1 (01:08:20):
Yeah, it's very much like what the fuck are we
doing here?

Speaker 2 (01:08:23):
They really wrote themselves into a corridor, I think, and
they're just treading water for the rest of the episode
because they go to talk to Lizzie and Lizzie's like, listen,
I don't have the footage because it's on the cameras
in the bedroom. After this crew leaves. The cameras in
the bedroom are on motion sensors or like security cameras,

(01:08:44):
and it takes a while for them to wake up. And
so we just thought that Ryan came back and like
we lost We can't find the raw footage because it's
a non union crew, true, working nineteen hour days, true
with a bunch of rum drunk twenty year olds ripple True.

Speaker 1 (01:09:02):
So you know, she's like, it's a basic we even
get a show out every week. I'm like, I would
believe that.

Speaker 2 (01:09:06):
Actually, just film all the stuff first, like you don't
have to do it this way, but whatever. So but
she's like, why are.

Speaker 1 (01:09:13):
They doing it that? Why are they doing this? Like
live We like they're doing it six days to airstyle.
It's like, what are you doing?

Speaker 2 (01:09:18):
Just doesn't add anything to the show, but it does.
It seems relatively easy to prove that Ryan was in
two places at once because he's on the camera with
the timestamp raping the raping Melanie. And then also even

(01:09:39):
if he I guess the the the cameras are on
motion sensor, so if he's like asleep in his bed alone,
maybe it wouldn't be on, but we know that he
was fucking GEECHI, so.

Speaker 1 (01:09:52):
Like there was motion in the ocean. I just it's
the dumbest fucking thing where they're fact. They're not just
like great, we'll just wait, They'll we find the footage.

Speaker 2 (01:10:06):
Yeah, yeah, find us the footage. And and they they
don't the the like for digital forensic people don't take
over their fucking control room yet. But we go to
the Triplex and the host is there, Jimmy Valentine or

(01:10:27):
whatever the fuck his fucking name is, John Valentine played
by Mather Zikel, who you might recognize from Rachel Getting
Married and I Love You Man and Balls of Fury
and the Fantasic for Our First Steps, the movie that
just came out where he plays Boston newscaster. Been a
lot of stuff, seventy one things crazy saw note of that, Yeah,

(01:10:50):
I saw most of those things. Don't remember him at all.
And so this is where the show got me because
he's there. The the the princes are there and they're like, Okay,
this happened. Melanie was raped and we're gonna find out
who did it. And I'm like, there's no way the

(01:11:11):
host would be fucking be there. He's not. Jeff probed.
It turns out that is they got me. They got
me on that one, that he's there for a reason.

Speaker 1 (01:11:21):
Well, I'm also like, if you're any of the contestants
yeah or people what participants or whatever.

Speaker 2 (01:11:28):
Whatever cast members.

Speaker 1 (01:11:31):
The fact that they're not all immediately looking at each
other like.

Speaker 2 (01:11:35):
There's a rapist.

Speaker 1 (01:11:36):
We're looking at the guys being like, well we know
who the women the woman victim is. That means there's
a rapist and we know it's a dude. So the
fact that all the girls are immediately like, ah, there's
not like.

Speaker 2 (01:11:49):
A violent can we leave?

Speaker 1 (01:11:52):
Yeah, Like so we're here, so one of them is
a rapist and we know that at this point for
a fact, because it's on.

Speaker 2 (01:11:59):
Camera, and and Gigi is about to admit or maybe
she has already admitted. No, she's about to admit that
she fucked Ryan, and so there's no way that it
could be Ryan. He can't be fucking two girls at
the same time. He's not real Chamberlain.

Speaker 1 (01:12:18):
At this point, because there was three guys and four girls.

Speaker 2 (01:12:22):
Left, said Graham or that other one.

Speaker 1 (01:12:28):
We can coin flip. At this point, they're not just
like great, No.

Speaker 2 (01:12:32):
It's it's it's less than a coin flip because the
third guy, whose name I didn't catch, is like, oh, yeah,
I passed out, like like I got drunk and then
went to bed, and there's footage of that. So I'm
in the h he.

Speaker 1 (01:12:45):
Said, like, I drank a picture of Mohidos because I
was going to try to fuck someone and it didn't
go my way.

Speaker 2 (01:12:50):
I got friend zoned yeah by Ashley Be.

Speaker 1 (01:12:54):
Okay, wow, that's and she's just.

Speaker 2 (01:12:56):
What right, let me tell you my god.

Speaker 1 (01:13:01):
But even even if you don't had like, you don't
have to trust to take his word for it, Like
that's probably some of the footage that wasn't conveniently left off,
so it's like, Okay, you know it wasn't Ryan because
he got footage of him getting his dick sucked by Gigi.

Speaker 2 (01:13:17):
You know, guy, the easiest murder mystery to ever solve,
just like count the people in the room.

Speaker 1 (01:13:24):
This is like clue level basic.

Speaker 2 (01:13:27):
Hey, clues, clues sometimes difficult.

Speaker 1 (01:13:30):
I mean, all right, but but but the fucking no no, no, no,
no no again. If there's only three and you can
eliminate two of them, that's that's it. That's the game.
That's the fucking ball game here, guys. And the fact
that the other guys that like, yeah, okay, I had
sex with her, but I thought it was, like, you know,
it's It struck me as if he really believed that

(01:13:51):
he didn't rape this girl, that it was consensual or
some sort of a play to stay in the game
or something like that. Why wouldn't he just say that
it's because he knows he raped her.

Speaker 2 (01:14:00):
Agree, and I figured out a way that this could
all make sense from the producer's perspective, This is not
what happens, but I'll pitch you later what what could
have happened to make this make sense? So they talked
to Ashley Be and actually Be says she was deaf drunk,
not deaf like not hearing, but death short for definitely
took me a long time to figure that out. And yeah,

(01:14:24):
she said she was drunk, but she didn't want to
she like definitely wouldn't have fucked him or whatever. And
the third guy, not Graham and not Ryan, said that
he got friend zoned and then drank a picture of mohitos.
And Gigi said that she hooked up with Ryan, so
could have been Ryan. And he said that Graham or

(01:14:45):
Ashley b told him or no Melanie someone told him
that he basically struck out with Melanie and she wouldn't
fuck him. And Gigi's like, I'll fuck him and then
fucked him him and I spent the night to again.
I told him I would do anything he wanted, and
I did I do his.

Speaker 1 (01:15:06):
Mind, and that Rawlins gave her a look like, oh.

Speaker 2 (01:15:10):
Oh mind all. And so they the princes don't believe
whatever you.

Speaker 1 (01:15:16):
Say, like he said, he asked or I said I
would do anything, and I did. We get it. You
don't have to continue that we've butt stuff. Yeah, you
gave up atal, that's fine. You can just say that.

Speaker 2 (01:15:27):
The eye of Sauran. So the princes don't believe it.
She said that Gigi has hooked up with everyone, including
Ashley B.

Speaker 1 (01:15:37):
The fact that they're Ashley like I was. I was like, stop, okay,
we've already got the victim acting like she's a fucking baby,
and now you're talking about these twenty somethings like they're
in fucking fourth grade. This is creepy. I don't like it.

Speaker 2 (01:15:50):
So Ashley B is played by Ava Lang, who looks
a little bit like the girl from Daredevil. Oh, Deborah
Ann Wall. Yeah, and she is on three episodes of SPU.
She comes back as someone named Moira, and then she

(01:16:11):
comes back as actually be no way, no fucking away,
no fucking way.

Speaker 1 (01:16:17):
He stands for a different a different last name.

Speaker 2 (01:16:20):
Hopefully she comes back as Ashley B. Oh that's so good.

Speaker 1 (01:16:27):
Yeah, she really does look like Deborah Wall. For a second,
I was like, is that Deborah No?

Speaker 2 (01:16:31):
Yeah, same, same, and then uh. Gigi, who is pretty
good in this episode, is played by Rachel Emeric, not
like Roland Emrick, spelled differently, but she basically doesn't do much.
She's been in a bunch of short films and a
bunch of single episodes of things like Royal Pains and
Blue Bloods and stuff. But I think that she's pretty

(01:16:51):
good in this.

Speaker 1 (01:16:53):
I mean she's fine, Yeah, you know.

Speaker 2 (01:16:56):
Good, good job, Rachel Emeric. So you know, the cops
are there. So Melanie shows up with STD results because
she got a social disease from her rapist. And even
though SVU has ordered the cameras to stop rolling, their
security cameras are still there and there's still people in
the control room, and so Lizzie is like, Q cameras six,

(01:17:18):
seven or eight, and then they just start filming Melanie
screaming that Ryan gave her an STD, and then Gigi's like, no,
I fucked Ry and Ryan didn't fuck you, and then
they start like literally fighting each other.

Speaker 1 (01:17:33):
Right classic reality TV. And then it was like, hey,
did you guys do STD screening before you started all
of this, and like, of course we've met everyone, I'm
like and then sv was like, yeah, give us the
medical records.

Speaker 2 (01:17:45):
I don't think you could do that.

Speaker 1 (01:17:46):
I don't think you can just do that.

Speaker 2 (01:17:47):
And yeah. I also I also in the in the
in the break right before this, I got a commercial
for The Bachelor in Paradise season finale, and I was like,
good job, good job, buddy. Yeah, so call that synergy. Yeah,
backwards overflow. So I'm thinking that they should probably also
test Jeffrey Prince for chlamydia. But uh not not the

(01:18:14):
not not not really. So they they say that they
lost the footage of the of the rape happening, but
they finally found it and it got mislabeled and then
put in the wrong folder because they've got so many
different cameras and so many different file types and I'm like, no,
you don't, like this was my job, No you don't.

Speaker 1 (01:18:34):
Also, if they cloned everything that they were going through,
that would capture everything, everything, every Yeah, thank you, that's
a terrible, terrible Garrett Gary over there. But like no,
it's like that doesn't make any fucking sense. And this
is the point where Barbara's like, yeah, you're you'restruction no territory,

(01:18:59):
and so they're like, oh okay.

Speaker 2 (01:19:00):
Barbie even was like, hey, so you but you aired
part of this, like like you saw this file and
Lexi's like no, well, so when the camera woke up,
it started a different file and put it and that
was also mislabeled and putting a different folder.

Speaker 1 (01:19:17):
And so which doesn't make sense because it would still
be on the server that they so have.

Speaker 2 (01:19:23):
There is a way for this to make sense, which
is that in the past it wouldn't be this camera
for sure. But in the past there were file size
limits on cameras, certain cameras, and so when it filled
up sometimes it was like ten minutes or twelve minutes
or thirty six minutes or whatever. When it filled up,

(01:19:44):
it would just automatically start a new file, like in
the middle of something. So you could line them up
and you wouldn't miss a frame. And so they could
have said that it still wouldn't be true, but they
could have said something that like was I mean.

Speaker 1 (01:19:56):
Plausible, but they chose not to.

Speaker 2 (01:19:58):
Okay, but they chose not to, and they Now we
have the whole file, and we see that it's Graham.
Graham snuck into the room like an hour after. Oh
this is also the first time that we see we
actually saw him leave or whatever. But Graham snuck into
the room and an hour after Ryan left and just
like fucking fucking raped her. And he said that he

(01:20:24):
went to Melanie as a friend and it turned into more.

Speaker 1 (01:20:29):
Or that's what he told Alex Mac.

Speaker 2 (01:20:31):
The next Yeah, Lizzie, Yes, correct and so okay, but
then they they tell so they talked to Graham and
Graham says, oh, yeah, I had sex with her, and
the producer told me not to say anything because they
liked the Ryan story better. So this is the thing.

(01:20:52):
This is like the the cover up part that never
made sense to me. And so this is my this
is my pitch, my revision pitch. It's like not all
that difficult. But Ryan is the like heart throb, He's
like the main guy that everyone loves, right, and Graham
and the other guy are like getting scraps. But if

(01:21:16):
they if they had decided that Graham was going to
be the hero, that Graham was going to be like
the guy that everyone fell in love with by the
end of the season, they would hide this footage to
protect that narrative, right, But the fact that that they
liked the Ryan.

Speaker 1 (01:21:36):
Story better, they would they would they would hide the
rape so that would.

Speaker 2 (01:21:42):
Yes, absolutely, yes they would. They would hide the rape
so that he would remain the hero that on the show, right,
the good guy.

Speaker 1 (01:21:51):
It's just like cartoonish villainy at this.

Speaker 2 (01:21:53):
Point though, But that to me, at least I like
understand the logic behind it. We also don't really ever
get the guys and their sticky notes if you can
fucking believe it. But if the if we got a
gram sticky note that's like good guy or something like that,
where it's like, oh, I understand why they would Why
would they otherwise? Why are they covering up for this

(01:22:16):
fucking random? Is he someone's nephew? Why are they covering
up for this guy?

Speaker 1 (01:22:20):
I don't.

Speaker 2 (01:22:21):
They mean they like the Ryan story better, but they
that means that they liked the idea that Ryan raped her,
or maybe they thought that she would just go along
with it.

Speaker 1 (01:22:31):
I guess maybe. Well, I mean, whenever they have that
throw away line, it's like, well the producers said, because
I was going to give it up to him eventually,
that it doesn't.

Speaker 2 (01:22:38):
Yeah, And Alex Mack does say like, yeah, she like
when I talked to Melanie, the princess said that they
smoothed everything over and Melanie was like fine, So I
thought it was just like all wine and wine and
strawberries or whatever. I don't know it does it? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:22:57):
So the cops show up. They're filming, the crew was
filming all of this. They arrest Graham or grabs like
I'm not going anywhere unless you arrest me and lives.

Speaker 2 (01:23:06):
And then they arrest Oh okay, uh and yeah this
is this is where he said that the producers told
him not to say anything because I like the Ryan
story better, right, And.

Speaker 1 (01:23:16):
Then he starts yelling at Lizzy news is like you
said you were gonna make everything okay, and then like,
I you know, you didn't say anything about that. And
then her response is like, yeah, everything was gonna be
fine because you didn't tell me you fucking raped this girl.
What the hell is wrong with you? This all conveniently
gets cut out of whatever we.

Speaker 3 (01:23:34):
On the next episode of So the The the the
cops are like getting ready to go to trial and
to and to bring charges on on the princes for
like covering up all this evidence and wouldn't you know
it a very special edition of Heart's Desire, and it's
like John Valentine being like, we made it our mission

(01:23:56):
to catch this rapist.

Speaker 2 (01:23:58):
And they're like they run into Olivia's office to be like, saw, lieutenant,
you better come see this, and Olivia and and and
h Tucker or like Pillow talking about something fucking weird.
I don't know, but uh gg on camera it's like
Gigi the liar says, I told the cops that Graham

(01:24:21):
was up all night and they didn't care, And then
like the Valentine voiceovers like we knew we had to
take matters into our own hands. And then it's like
footage of him watching the rape on a big screen
TV with like the the princes like over their shoulder
and he's like, Jeffrey Regina, I found something.

Speaker 1 (01:24:42):
I think I got something here. It looks must immediately
do something about this.

Speaker 2 (01:24:47):
It looks less like we're a reality like a like
a Love Island and more like a TMZ or something.
It's like really really shitty, shitty staged. But yeah, so
the once again the voice ever comes in. Why didn't
Lizzie Bauers say anything? Did she conspire with Graham to

(01:25:09):
keep it quiet? Let's take a look in this hotel
room where we hit hidden cameras in Melanie's hotel room
to see her talking to the cops.

Speaker 1 (01:25:19):
She's like he was such a nice guy too, cut.

Speaker 2 (01:25:21):
Back, and then they freeze frame on on Larissa Eleni's
face like mid blink and it's like, oh, did she
try to escape evidence? Erase evidence?

Speaker 1 (01:25:36):
It's the best thing where it's like if you were
just to like yell someone's name and they took over
like her. It's like one of those things and it's like,
oh my god, it's the fucking funniest goddamn thing.

Speaker 2 (01:25:44):
It's like the freeze frame of Homer Simpson. We're looking,
please are looking for this man?

Speaker 1 (01:25:48):
Well, so funny, you said the Simpsons. I was thinking
exactly of the like, just ask this scientition.

Speaker 2 (01:25:55):
Yeah right, speaking of scientifians, they're like throw a commercial
like when we come back. Clinical psychologist talks about rape
culture and I'm waiting for George wand oh my.

Speaker 1 (01:26:06):
God, that would be fucking He's like, uh, I worked
with these guys. What the fuck? Who are you? What
is happening right now? And it just cuts.

Speaker 2 (01:26:13):
I worked with these guys that I could tell you
that they are absolutely incompetent.

Speaker 1 (01:26:18):
We talked to a figment of Don Cragen's imagination.

Speaker 2 (01:26:22):
It's just an empty chair, like Clint Eastwood at the
Republican ex Convention.

Speaker 1 (01:26:28):
So that elson days.

Speaker 2 (01:26:30):
So they made Lizzie the scapegoat and they're like, well,
we're fucked because the princes told ten million people on
television that were absolute fucking rubes, and like, we're not
gonna do any soul searching about that.

Speaker 1 (01:26:44):
Objection your honor. You are though, because again, yeah, do
you know for a fact that you had the footage.
It's tape, it's on tape, you saw it happen in
aired live and the fact that it's the one piece
of footage that was missing from your warrant, well, that
you received everything. You guys are absolute fucking rubes.

Speaker 2 (01:27:06):
But it's but it is this like que bono thing
of like, why though, why protect Graham? This guy, This
is the guy that eventually you're gonna plead guilty to
a felony to of when you were trying to protect him,
this fucking guy.

Speaker 1 (01:27:23):
They were, they were trying to protect the show, to
be fair, but which is like the show, well no,
but it's like, well, if a rape happened on TV,
how can we make it a positive rather than a negative,
which is to make it seem like the cops didn't
do anything. And then we're gonna throw Graham to the
fucking wolves.

Speaker 2 (01:27:41):
Yeah, so they do. They do throw Graham to the
wolves eventually, and Graham's like, yep, I did it, and uh,
I did it?

Speaker 1 (01:27:47):
Guilty as judge shut up, Dave Bethy's shut up.

Speaker 2 (01:27:52):
And so, uh, they talked to They're like, well, we're fucked,
but what if we talked to Lizzie because they have
absolutely cut Lizzie loose? And so they talked to Lizzie
and they're like, so you're they're good at lying, but
you're also good at lying, So, uh do you want
to Just At.

Speaker 1 (01:28:11):
This point, I was like, are they going to suborn
perjury here? They're like, just lie on the stand because
they keep talking about the grand jury. I'm like, hold
the funk on is Barba literally talking? So like nothing
matters anymore, Just lie.

Speaker 2 (01:28:22):
On this dead not what happens at this point.

Speaker 1 (01:28:25):
Fact that this works is crazy, absurd crazy.

Speaker 2 (01:28:30):
So, so Lizzie meets up with the princes in the
middle of I guess Central Park, and Lizzie is may
as well be wearing like glasses with like.

Speaker 1 (01:28:40):
The giant fucking cowboy hat with the camera in it.

Speaker 2 (01:28:43):
Yeah, with like a with like a rolling bolex of
film going through her. She may as well be wearing
the Apple Vision pro sunglass.

Speaker 1 (01:28:55):
You guys remember the Apple Vision pro Boy.

Speaker 2 (01:28:57):
Yeah, it was gonna be immediately the future. And so
she's like, hey, you fucked me on this, and they're like,
we're protecting the show and she's like, so I'm collateral
damage and like no, we'll get you a good lawyer.
You want to be an exec. You gotta get used
to this. This is what happens. Meanwhile, they were just

(01:29:17):
on TV being like, Lizzie will never work on this
show again.

Speaker 1 (01:29:24):
Yeah, it's really fucking funny. And she's like, so, why
did you talk to me about the rape that you
actively covered up and admit to any other felonies to
me to my face, no reason, and like, well, thank
you for that invitation. We will now go ahead and
talk about how we covered this up and blah blah blah.

Speaker 2 (01:29:40):
You gotta figure. You gotta know how this works in
the real world freeze frame, and then we're in Barbara's
office and the princes are like, well, so you see
what happens. What happened was bitch set me up?

Speaker 1 (01:29:55):
Yeah, it really is that, and they're like is this
even legal? And the irony being talk about whenever they
were doing their very special episode.

Speaker 2 (01:30:02):
Oh yeah, they had like hidden camera the cops.

Speaker 1 (01:30:06):
Yeah, and Barbara and everyone. So it's just like, wait
a second, hang on.

Speaker 2 (01:30:10):
Now, but like they okay, so this is where this
is where I I this is the end of the episode.
But another thing that I have to ask is, like
where is standards in practices and all this? They are
they are airing live sex on television network television they are,

(01:30:33):
which then becomes a rape and then they okay and
also like this Gigi getting finger blasted, and also then
they do this very special episode where we see more
footage of the rape and then also filming the cops
without their knowledge or consent, like S and P better
be like this show is canceled. What are you guys doing?

Speaker 1 (01:30:56):
Oh? The lawsuit that not is well, Lizzy probably as well,
but like but.

Speaker 2 (01:31:02):
Yeah, gonna be a hundred millionaire yeah yeah, oh my god.

Speaker 1 (01:31:07):
Like I mean not that money, you know will make
up for that, but like something someone's someone so and
someone's got to go to jail and someone's got to pay.

Speaker 2 (01:31:16):
And so this is something that I wish was said.
In this final scene, Olivia is like walking Melanie out
of the courtroom and is like, okay, well I'll see you.

Speaker 1 (01:31:30):
Get her bag.

Speaker 2 (01:31:31):
She's like, the princes will never work in TV again.
They absolutely Oh.

Speaker 1 (01:31:37):
My God ahead of the studio after this.

Speaker 2 (01:31:39):
And frankly the fact that, like I feel like Lizzy,
if this was like a little bit more veep or something,
Lizzie would be like, Oh, don't don't tell anyone that
I helped you. Like I want people to know I'm
a shark. I want people to know that I will
cover up a rape to get my shot. So like
that's that's.

Speaker 1 (01:31:58):
More House of Cards than that level of cynicism.

Speaker 2 (01:32:01):
Same same, but like that's those are the people that
really work in reality TV. Sorry, unscripted. And so Melanie
says that her mom drove in from Idaho and uh,
and Olvi's like, I guarantee that this will not define
you for the rest of your life. And I'm like, okay,
guaranteeing things that you can't actually guarantee you. But whatever,

(01:32:24):
it's not not as bad as I will definitely catch
him this.

Speaker 1 (01:32:28):
This character thankfully disappears into like a cloud of dust
or something, so like, we don't know, let's hope that
that's actually what happened.

Speaker 2 (01:32:37):
But I wish Melanie was like, Oh, I'm gonna get
a hundred million dollars with them. Instead, she says, I
was so stupid because I'm from Idaho. I really thought
that Ryan was in love with me and that we
were gonna get married. And Olivia's like, ummm.

Speaker 1 (01:32:51):
She just she literally just says like take care.

Speaker 2 (01:32:53):
Yeah, goodbye, good good.

Speaker 1 (01:32:55):
Whis to whisper that She's just like, yeah, take it.

Speaker 2 (01:32:59):
Easy, Okay, take it sleazy, get out of my city.

Speaker 1 (01:33:03):
Dick it. That's that's it. That's the fucking up. But
that's that's the line the episode with what the fuck
take it?

Speaker 2 (01:33:10):
Take your easy? So uh yep, that's our dick wolf
from Trivia Corner. The Triplex was actually two different buildings.
The interiors were filmed in Tribeca, while the exteriors were
filmed in Chelsea, roughly two blocks from Peer sixty two studios,
where svu Is filmed the precinct in the hospital and

(01:33:31):
the court. Uh that's that's where their standing sets are.
And while not mentioned, the producers and network of Heart's
Desire could have also faced penalties from the FCC for
showing the sex seed in the dream suite, since it
meant that they had aired what in story was an
it was an actual sex act, which would fall under
indecent content or even obscene content.

Speaker 1 (01:33:53):
Yeah, well we've come so far from there as is.

Speaker 2 (01:33:57):
But those that those are on, those aren't on new work.
That's the thing, right, if you pay a subscription fee,
like they can show you a p and V, they
don't care.

Speaker 1 (01:34:06):
Even if it's a spin off of the network NBC's
They're peacock streaming.

Speaker 2 (01:34:12):
Proud is a peacock baby, huh And speaking of peacocks.
From the goof's department, it is unlikely that there was
both condom lubricant residue and the transference of chlamydia.

Speaker 1 (01:34:24):
Hey, yeah, that's a good point.

Speaker 2 (01:34:26):
That's a good point. I mean, it's not about that.
It's not impossible, but it is pretty unlikely.

Speaker 1 (01:34:31):
Well hat you know what. Nope, Nope, not today, Satan
not gonna do it.

Speaker 2 (01:34:36):
And that's our episode. Oh sorry from User review Corner. Sorry,
this is from l baal Doles from September twenty fifth,
twenty nineteen. Eight out of ten stars reality check. Great
episode exposing the inner workings that most of us are

(01:34:57):
aware of of a reality show TV show with guest
stars Michael Gross and Wennie Mallick being the quote evil producers.
You don't need to put that in quotes they are Evil.
A very interesting episode of ironically trying to uncover the
truth from reality, which of course is what they do
in most of their investigations. What What Okay? And From

(01:35:21):
the Other side of the Aisle from The Little Songbird
from September twenty ninth, twenty twenty two, Reality Hurts five
out of ten start. Larissa Olenik does her best with
what she has. Some of the outsmarting is very amusing. However,
much is wrong. The story is very thin, no suspenser surprises,

(01:35:43):
everything is easily foreseeable some way off before it happens,
and the case is overshadowed by the over the topness
of the writing and the setting. I actually like, I
actually like the writing and the setting. The writing, for
my taste, was far too goofy, even for the more
comedic vibe. It just felt like too much and jars
a lot with the serious subject. The dialogue did have

(01:36:05):
times where the corniness was intentional, like with the show contestants,
but with pretty much all the dialogue being corny, even
the many parts intended to be serious, it felt like
corn and goofy overkill. Like what was said a couple
sentence ago, the subject is a serious one, but over
the top goofiness and corn really jarred and like the

(01:36:25):
subject was being poked fun at you. If you just
said it, you don't have to say it again. Olivia
and Tucker have no chemistry together and the relationship between
them is not ringing true yet given Tucker's history, didn't
feel that much for the victim. She does a lot
that makes it less easy to sympathize with her. Jesus
really overall underwhelming. That's for five ten stars. Yeah, uh yeah, harsh.

(01:36:55):
That's pretty fucking harsh. And that's our episode for this week.
Lona Rescue Season seventeen, episode twenty one, entitled Assaulting Reality.
We haven't even gotten to me on the subject of
where those cameras are placed. If you agree or disagree
with us, if you know that the that they wouldn't

(01:37:17):
be the camera people would be standing there, They would
be kind of off in the corner with a longer lens.
Let us know, or an sv podcast on Blue Sky
and Instagram the official Blue Sky and Instagram of Love Island.

Speaker 1 (01:37:31):
And you can take that to the bank, the blood Bank,
Senator and for longer or weirder stuffer tweet ze email,
send us an Email, special viewing units, strudelegmail dot com
and I guess give us a rate and review over fine.
Podcasts are sold except for Spotify because Spotify.

Speaker 2 (01:37:43):
Fuck that, Spotify, Fuck Spotify, and tune in next week
when we view and review and lovingly ridicule Law and
Order SVU season season Jesus seventeen, Episode twenty two, Intersecting Lives. Okay,
a directions officer is arrested for sexually assaulting female inmates, leaving,

(01:38:06):
leading his supportive union to go after Barbara and SVU.
So you see, it's not the police union that's the problem.
It's the corrections officer union. Question Mark, Yeah, let's go
with that and joining us next week. Mike Dodds is back,

(01:38:26):
as is Bill Duke from The Predator.

Speaker 1 (01:38:31):
What the fuck is Bill Duke doing here?

Speaker 2 (01:38:33):
Yeah? Mac from Bill Duke from Predator and Commando and
Exit Wounds is there. He plays ed Pastrino and uh.
Ernest Waddell is back as Ken randall Son. Yeah, and
for whatever reason, Brad Garrett is here. Ray Romano's brother

(01:39:00):
plays a character named Gary Munson.

Speaker 1 (01:39:03):
What if. Wow, we're really just throwing every ounce of
money we have left. At the end of the season
at the Guest Stars.

Speaker 2 (01:39:11):
Oh and Karna Log shows up, and the the reason
that that is relevant is because Karina Log is the
twin sister of Donald Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:39:24):
Twin sister, Rollins baby daddy.

Speaker 2 (01:39:29):
Yeah, she shows up and im pregnants Rollins weird. Yeah weird.
So until then, really really kind of confusing one until
then four well, under special viewing, I'm of Eve Rubenstein.

Speaker 1 (01:39:42):
And I'm Matt Reuter. We will see you guys next
week

All Episodes

Episode 387 - S17E21 - Assaulting Reality

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist

Crime Junkie

Stuff You Should Know

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Episode 387 - S17E21 - Assaulting Reality