November 15, 2025 • 31 mins
Strong communicators make strong leaders. In this episode Lone Rock Leadership co founder Russ Hill shares three tips for more efficiently communicating in meetings and in one-on-one chats.
Meetings shouldn’t feel like a maze. We walk you through a simple set of moves that transform wandering discussions into sharp decisions: take a clear, movable position, ask direct questions that reveal where people really stand, and read the story their behavior tells beyond their words. These techniques are built from years of coaching senior executives and observing what actually accelerates results inside complex organizations.
We start by reframing the opening minutes of any meeting. Instead of circling the topic, set a pace by offering a concise position that others can react to. Then prime the room: ask for perspectives, pause to show you’re listening, fill a few seconds while people gather their thoughts, and invite someone to start. When the comments come, validate fast and keep the momentum with Who’s next? This small change expands participation, reduces awkwardness, and prevents the facilitator monologue that quietly shuts a room down.
From there, we show how direct questions cut weeks of guesswork. Whether you’re pricing a keynote, aligning on a product timeline, or negotiating priorities across functions, precision prompts like What range do you need us to be in? and What do you not like about this plan? reveal constraints early and save endless back-and-forth. Finally, we confront a hard truth: most people share only 60 to 75 percent of what they think. To access the rest, ask What else am I missing? and pay close attention to consistent behavior—follow-through, responsiveness, and initiative—as the real signal of commitment.
If you’re ready to lead faster and communicate with less friction, this playbook will help you run better meetings, make cleaner decisions, and raise your value as a leader. If it helps, share it with a teammate, subscribe for more practical tools, and leave a quick review so others can find the show. What’s the first question you’ll ask differently this week?
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https://www.lonerock.io
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https://www.linkedin.com/in/russleads/
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About the podcast:
The Lead In 30 Podcast with Russ Hill is for leaders of teams who want to grow and accelerate their results. In each episode, Russ Hill shares what he's learned consulting executives. Subscribe to get two new episodes every week. To connect with Russ message him on LinkedIn!
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SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Three ways to be more efficient in your
communication with others.
It's such an importantleadership skill.
And we're digging into it inthis episode.
SPEAKER_02 (00:12):
This is the Lead in 30 podcast with Russell.
You cannot be serious.
Strengthen your ability to leadin less than 30 minutes.
SPEAKER_01 (00:24):
It's time to end the confusion.
Get the new book by the foundersof Lone Rock Leadership.
See why executives at LockheedMartin, Cigna, Teva, Chili's,
and so many other companies arepraising Deliver.
Why some leaders get results andmost don't.
You can download the firstchapter right now and request
(00:45):
two free copies shipped to youat LoneRock.io.
SPEAKER_00 (00:50):
We are so close to that actually being true.
At the time that this episode isbeing released, we don't have
the book quite ready for thepublic.
We've been handing it out tocertain clients here and there
and gave it out at the event wehad in Sundance a few weeks ago.
But there are just even today afew things that we we that were
(01:11):
identified that we've got totweak.
When you've got almost 400pages, you you you you've got
things that uh that revealthemselves that you didn't know
were um were needing to beaddressed that need to be fixed.
So anyway, we're we're at we'rewe're doing that.
And soon, by the time a lot ofyou are listening to this
episode, what what what was justsaid is accurate.
You can go to LoneRock.io,download the first chapter, and
(01:32):
order a couple of free copies tobe shipped to you, but it may
not be ready right at thismoment, at the time this
episode's coming out.
By the way, welcome into theLead in 30 podcast.
In less than 30 minutes, we'llgive you a framework, a model, a
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effectively lead others.
My name is Russ Hill.
I make my living coachingconsulting senior executive
(01:54):
teams at some of the world'sbiggest companies.
You can find out more about ourexecutive consulting firm as
well as our leadershipdevelopment training that you
can buy right off the shelf.
Lead in 30, adapt in 30, decidein 30, power in 30.
They're all available atLoneRock.io.
Okay, so in this episode, I wantto talk about three things that
(02:20):
that will improve your abilityto communicate with others.
And I talk about communication aton because it's so critical.
So critical.
Whether you're in sales, whetheryou're in, I don't care what
department, functional areayou're in, and whether you have
(02:41):
direct reports or not, but ifyou want to lead others, if you
want to be a manager, a VP, adirector, an executive, um a
business owner, whatever itmight be, you've got to get
good.
Well, you don't have to.
You could be you could bemediocre in those things and not
communicate well, but if you cancommunicate effectively and
(03:03):
become more efficient in yourcommunication, it just increases
your value as a leaderdramatically.
So let's go into these threethings.
I'm gonna get right to it andthen uh break down why I picked
these three things.
There are lots more than three.
And if you go through and listento different episodes in the
past and scroll through kind ofthe topic list, you'll see lots
(03:24):
of episodes around communicationthat have different skills or
different tactics that I'm notgonna get to today that would
also fit under this category.
But today, these are the threethat are on my mind.
The first one, some of theseyou've heard me talk about
before, but I'm gonna reinforcethem because they're they're so
critical.
So the first thing that I haveto talk about when it comes to
(03:47):
being an effective communicator,whether that's with your team,
with other executives or leaderson the team, whether it's with
customers, whether it's withvendors, whether it's I don't
care who it is, you need to takea position.
It accelerates conversation somuch.
When you start a meeting andsay, hey, you all, I know we're
(04:08):
here today to talk about ourproduct strategy for next year
or the next six months, or we'rehere to talk about our
marketing, whatever, or oursales this, or this event that
we're planning coming up, or achange to this policy, whatever
the topic, whoever the inviteesare, take a position.
(04:31):
And so I'm not saying come inand tell everybody what you're
gonna do, but you want to take aposition in order to have people
react to that.
So, and we teach this concept,right?
We teach it as part of decide in30, as part of our
decision-making framework underthe topic of discussion, how to
lead a discussion on a on adecision.
And uh when you're considering adecision, we talk about listen,
(04:52):
position, listen.
You've heard me talk about thator or teach that in other
episodes.
And the whole idea is I startthe meeting and I say, okay, you
all, we're here to talk aboutthe marketing plan for next
year.
We're here to talk about theproduct release, and uh, you all
saw that on the agenda andwhatever.
I'm uh as we get started, I'minterested in any insights or
perspective or data or um thingsthat you want to share as we get
(05:15):
started.
And often when you do that,you're not gonna hear a ton
unless this is like meetingnumber four of an ongoing
discussion.
And then then people are gonnahave the background of previous
discussions and they're gonnacome in with some opinions.
But if you're just gettingstarted, this is meeting number
one, or it's a it's it's theonly meeting because it's not a
(05:36):
very big topic or very criticaltopic, then you're gonna have to
do a little bit to prime thepump to get the conversation
going.
But I'm gonna I I want todemonstrate my openness to your
opinions and perspectives andthoughts and feelings as we
start the meeting.
So, hey, you all, we have thison the meeting.
Uh you saw this on the agenda,uh, on your calendar.
Um, before I dive too deep intoit, what thoughts do you have?
(06:00):
What perspective did you want toshare?
What things have been on yourmind?
And then when you ask thatquestion, you have to realize
you all, I've seen this mistakeall the time.
No one, hardly anyone, hardlyever will someone be ready to
answer your question, to raisetheir hand, to speak up, to come
(06:21):
off mute the first time you aska question.
So don't anticipate, don'texpect that anyone's gonna have
something to say.
So if I come, if I hit you outof the blue with, all right,
y'all, thanks for coming to themeeting, what do you have to say
about our product timeline?
Well, you just finished anothermeeting, you just came out of
(06:42):
the restroom, you just you'vegot, you know, an email or text
that you just received on yourmind.
You're not even here mentallyyet.
So I'm catching you off guard.
There's no way in the world Ican expect you to answer that in
2.4 seconds.
So I never, effectivecommunicators never expect,
(07:04):
anticipate that anyone willanswer a question the first time
they ask it.
You're asking the question thefirst time to prime the pump, to
lay the foundation.
So it sounds like this.
So you all think as we start themeeting, I'm interested in
getting your perspective aboutour product timeline.
So what questions, observations,data, whatever it is, however
(07:25):
you want to word it, do you haveas we start the meeting?
And then I pause a second ortwo.
And the reason I'm pausing rightthere is not for them to answer.
The reason I'm pausing one ortwo seconds is so that they know
I actually intend to listen.
What questions do you all have,or what data or observations do
you have?
(07:45):
One, two, three, pause.
Now speak again, and here's whatit sounds like.
So what I'm looking for, andwhat you're doing here is you're
elaborating a little bit andyou're filling time, knowing
that now they're thinking.
So you need to fill 15 to 30seconds, not five minutes, not a
(08:07):
ton, because then they're gonnathink, oh, well, you you didn't
really want my perspective.
You were just asking thatrhetorically, and you're now
you're gonna go on yourmonologue.
No.
So I'm not giving insight, I'mnot answering anything.
I'm just I'm filling some timeand I'm priming the pump.
I'm giving them time to process.
So after that one, after thatthree-second pause that I come
back and I say, So, what I'mlooking for here, you all, is as
(08:30):
we get started, we're gonna diginto this topic over the next
hour, and I'm interested in whatquestions you have.
I know you all have beenthinking about this.
Like this has been on our minds.
I've had lots of gooddiscussions with many of you
over the last few days, last fewweeks about this topic.
I'm filling time.
And and and so um I'm interestedhere to have the uh conversation
(08:55):
where where you all will bringup some of those things and we
can dig into it.
So who wants, it's not, doesanyone want to say something?
Who wants to start us off?
Now, this time, you're notspeaking.
You're totally comfortable withsilence.
Who would like to start us off?
(09:15):
The only time I might ask thequestion a third time is who
wants so so I say, so who wantsto start us off?
Nobody speaks.
I wait about five seconds.
I'm looking into the camera ifI'm on a virtual meeting, I'm
looking at the group, if I'm inperson, I'm looking into their
eyes, looking around, notstaring at any one person, but
I'm surveying them so they knowI'm actually looking for it,
(09:38):
that I'm expecting them tospeak.
And then if I need to, I'll say,I know you all have lots of
opinions, somebody start us off.
And then you just let there besilent.
Someone will speak.
So what here's what happens alot of times, it's just cringe
worthy.
(09:58):
All right, you also'm reallyinterested in getting your
perspectives as we start themeeting.
Who wants to start us off?
Uh, and then we make a lamejoke, or we look way weak
because we laugh and we feeluncomfortable and we make
everybody cringe because we feeluncomfortable, like maybe they
don't want to speak or whatever.
So we say something like, Iguess you guys don't have
(10:19):
anything to say, or I know thatthat's really whatever, or um,
you know, maybe I didn't ask thequestion the right way.
We look, we start making fun ofourselves, we start making a
joke, we whatever.
You appear so weak, so weak inthat moment.
Like with senior executives ofthe world's biggest companies,
if I did that, they would bootme out of the room.
(10:42):
I look bush league, I lookamateur, I look like, oh my
gosh, come on, Russ.
So I'm not making fun of myself,I'm not making fun of them, I'm
not I'm I'm not make sayinganything that's cringe worthy,
I'm not laughing like uh, youknow, the uh nervous laughter,
like I thought that you allmight have something to say.
I guess there's not a lot ofopinion on this, and so I
(11:04):
thought there would be a lot,but what stop it.
You look small.
You look bigger when you say itthe way that I've said it.
So I know you all have and andyou come back and you restate
when you expect someone to weighin the first time you ask a
question and then you startfilling the space, or you go, I
(11:26):
guess there's not a lot of topicor a lot of feedback on this, so
I'm just gonna dive intowhatever, whatever.
Small, not true.
They have opinions, they've gotperspective.
You haven't done an effectivejob getting them to speak.
It's on you.
So you've got to, again, don'tanticipate they'll ever answer
(11:48):
the first question.
I never do.
Sometimes you'll get hands upimmediately.
That's a bonus, that's a gift,that's awesome.
I never expect that.
Whether I'm on stage in front of500 or 800 or 2,000 people, or
I'm in the room with 10executives.
I never expect anyone to speakimmediately.
(12:09):
And the look on my face, my bodylanguage is that I'm totally
comfortable with it.
And then I do everything I'veI've taught you so far.
Okay?
That's critically, criticallyimportant.
So um, so now let's go back toso now you hear, you've done all
that.
Now there's some conversationgoing.
Thanks, Linda, for starting usoff.
I really appreciate that.
You don't need to react toeverything that's said.
(12:32):
In other words, Linda speaks,and now you go off on a
five-minute monologue about whatyou think about what Linda said.
Stop.
We're not looking for you toreact to everything.
So it's simply you, but you'vegot to validate what Linda said.
Otherwise, people are like, oh,I'm not speaking up because he
didn't even really seem to payattention to what Linda said.
(12:53):
So here's what it sounds like.
Linda, great comment.
Totally appreciate you speakingup and sharing that.
It's great insight.
Who's next?
See how that works?
Linda's like, okay, that's it.
Yeah.
And and I might even ask Linda afollow-up.
So Linda, can you say more aboutthat?
I do this all the time.
And in especially in the roomwith people.
(13:15):
So Linda will speak up andshe'll say, I just don't really
know whether this is the rightdirection.
And then the simple response is,Linda, say more.
Linda, give us some context.
Linda, um, can you elaborate?
Like a very short response.
I never have had, never have hadsomeone say, Um, I that's really
(13:39):
all I got.
They always have more to say.
Linda, great comment.
Thanks for that perspective.
Um, say more about that.
Because I want to, and thenshe's gonna pause and go, well,
and typically she's gonna tell astory.
Well, we I was with Mikey lastweek, or we were with the
customer, or this, whatever, orshe's gonna provide data.
(14:00):
You know, I was looking at ourreports and whatever, whatever.
Now she's gonna make the case alittle bit more.
And now I come back and I go,Linda, really good comment.
Thanks for that.
That's that's really valuable.
I appreciate you starting usoff.
That's all I'm saying.
Okay, who's next?
Because what happens is so oftenyou, me, all of us, when we're
(14:21):
leading an ineffectivediscussion, now we go off and
react to Linda for five minutesand everyone else forgets what
they were gonna say.
Or now I'm going down a rabbithole on just the one topic or
perspective Linda brought upwhen I want to still hear
everybody.
And the next few comments havenothing to do with what Linda
said potentially.
So I don't want to sidetrack theconversation.
(14:42):
Great comment, Linda.
That's and I'm validating.
She needs to feel like Iactually heard her.
I really appreciate you sharingthat experience with the
customer.
That's valuable.
Ten seconds max in my response.
Who's next?
And you might have to wait aminute.
I know a lot of you all, I knowa lot of you, again, I'm second
(15:02):
time.
I know a lot of you have pers uhuh opinions on this as well.
Linda, thanks for starting usoff.
Who's next?
And you just look at them.
And then Mike speaks up, orwhomever.
Okay, great, same thing.
Mike, totally good.
I I thanks for thanks forsharing that.
Totally appreciate it.
(15:22):
I'm not going anymore.
Next.
And now there are exceptions tothe approach I'm talking about,
but generally speaking, this isreally valuable.
Now I'm gonna offer my position,right?
And I take a position to um toum to speed up the conversation.
So it would also lookappropriate.
It would also be appropriate forme to come into the meeting.
(15:44):
It doesn't have to be listen,position, listen.
It can be position listen.
You with me?
You all, as we start thisdiscussion, I'm gonna take a
position.
I'm totally movable on this.
That is such a critical wordwhen you're taking a position.
And don't use it if it's notaccurate.
So I'm totally movable on this,but in order to accelerate the
(16:07):
conversation, really get usgoing, give you something to
react to.
I uh I've got a couple of slidesthat I want to show you where
I'm I'm gonna offer one path wecould take as it go as it
pertains to the product timelinenext year or whatever the topic
is.
And then you take a position.
I'll give you an in uh, forinstance, of what we do.
One of the ways we do this as afirm is in front of an executive
(16:28):
team or any setting, we oftenuse a slide in our first
conversations with a group thatuh that says this.
The slide says the natural stateof teams is dysfunction.
Because we're there to talkabout leadership development and
whatever, whatever.
And so to get the group talking,we come in immediately in our
first slide, often in a deck, isthe natural state of teams is
(16:50):
dysfunction.
All right, you all, um, talk tosomebody next to you, pull up a
chair next to somebody, circlein groups of three or four,
depending on the group we'rewith, right?
React to that.
Is it true or is it not true?
And then we unleash thisconversation in the room about
whether or not this statement'strue.
And so often we'll say to thegroup in the room, we actually
(17:10):
don't know if that slide'saccurate.
And they laugh.
Like, we just wanted to get youtalking about the natural state
of teams.
And it just unleashes thisconversation and immediately
gets someone to react because wetake a position.
I I talk a lot in the pastepisodes about my experience
leading in being a leader in themedia space.
(17:31):
Great media personalities.
I'm not saying this is aboutnews, because news is something
different, and we don't havetime to get into that today.
But in like a sports talk showhost, you come on, you're paid
to take a position.
The Dallas Cowboys need to firethe coach.
The whatever, whatever have theythey shouldn't be in the top 10.
(17:52):
Like I'm taking a positionbecause it forces the
conversation to move forward.
You're like, oh, really?
Like, as opposed to going today,we're gonna talk about this,
that, and the other, and thenyou take a position five minutes
into the show, you've lost allthe viewers or listeners.
So you come in guns blazing withthe position.
Here's what I think.
Boom! I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'mmaking that announcement so that
(18:16):
I can accelerate theconversation.
Okay, let's get to the nextthing.
Item number two in uh inefficiency and communication.
I want you to focus on, it wouldbe awesome for you to focus on
asking more direct questionsthat reveal where someone else
is.
I do this with our potentialclients or even clients all the
(18:39):
time.
So we're in a conversation.
Let me tell you how the salesprocess often goes.
And so you're meeting with,let's say it's an ex, it's uh
it's an HR leader on thetraining side of our business.
We're meeting with an HR leader,human resources, or an LD
learning and development leader,and they're new to us.
And they want us to come speakat one of their meetings.
They've got this salesconference or a an a manager's
(19:01):
conference, virtual or inperson, and first quarter.
They want us to keynote or comespeak to this, or or can we help
them plan whatever content?
And uh, I just did this with aFortune 10 company and uh a
four-hour, or I can't rememberif it was three or four hour um
virtual um leadership summit.
What do they call that thing?
(19:22):
It's not a leadership summit,but a uh leadership forum.
And they wanted me to come inand speak for the last hour.
And this is an organization thatwas new to us, we haven't worked
with them before, and uh, andand and so I'm on a call uh and
or one of our team members, Ican't remember who's on the
call.
And um, but this happens all thetime.
And I'll say to them at the end,um, well, let me let me play it
(19:42):
out uh how it how it used to be.
This is how I did it five, tenyears ago.
All right, thanks so much, Lisa.
Great call.
I appreciate it.
Yep.
Thanks for your interest in us.
We'll get you a proposal that umwe'll uh that will lay out what
we can do for you, and then youlet us know.
Okay, great.
Yeah, that's so great, Russ, orwhomever.
Um, thanks.
Yeah, send that to us.
(20:03):
And I'm thinking, I don't knowwhere Lisa is on price.
Like, do I quote$5,000 to her or$500,000 to her?
You know, I'm being extremehere, right?
And um just forget the figures,but I I'm I don't know what her
budget is.
I don't know what herorganization has allocated for
this event.
I don't know whether she she wesend a proposal to her for$5,000
(20:26):
and she's gonna go, oh my gosh,that is so low.
Like, are they gonna suck?
Or she's gonna get the$5,000 andgo, holy cow, I thought they'd
do it for$100.
You know, again, I'm making itup, I'm exaggerating.
And so um, so then we we justkind of guess and we talk
amongst ourselves, you know, inevery organization.
We're like, okay, I think theprice is this.
(20:47):
Yeah, that's what we typicallycharge.
Go with this rate, but give theman option two of whatever.
So we fire off that email.
And then Lisa doesn't even lookat it, probably for a week.
Um, this is, you know, in someinstances, and then Lisa, then
Lisa opens the email and she shelooks at it, and and we don't
know when she opened it and andwhat, or, or maybe we have a
(21:09):
tracker on there, and we can seethat she opened it and she opens
it, but we have no idea on herreaction, and then we don't hear
from her for two weeks.
I'm saying this is about anyorganization, right?
I you know how this processplays out, those of you in
sales, and then you don't hearfrom Lisa like, I guess it was
too high.
I guess we didn't hit on theright things in the proposal, I
guess whatever.
And then you don't hearanything, and then Lisa finally
emails you back and then says,Hey, I want to talk to you about
(21:31):
whatever.
And there's all this ambiguity.
It's total inefficiency incommunication.
So, how do I do that now?
Here's what it goes.
Hey, Lisa, great call.
Totally appreciate yourinterest.
So um, let's talk investment fora second, what this is gonna
look like.
Do you all have a budget forthis event coming up?
Yeah, we do.
(21:52):
Okay.
Well, what range do you need usto be in?
Well, I need you to be betweenum, well, between uh$20,000 and
$30,000.
Okay.
Yeah.
Well, then, so$20,000,$30,000.
Um, that's that's what you allhave budgeted for this?
Yeah, we do, but I've got someother m some of that money I
want to use for something else,and we got a whatever.
(22:13):
Okay.
So what I'm thinking we'll do,Lisa, is we'll give you a
proposal.
We'll give you two options.
And one will be$20,000 and onewill be$30,000.
So one on kind of the lower endof that, and one on the higher
end, and then you decide, oh,that would be so helpful or
whatever.
I've just saved us a month.
A month of total communicationgoing back and forth.
(22:36):
We're not guessing anymore.
This isn't just about sales, youall.
And by the way, some people willbe like, well, we don't really
have, they'll be sly on it.
Well, we don't have a lot ofmoney allocated for this.
Actually, we have no budget, butI think I could scrape something
up.
Well, what range do you need usto be in?
Well, I don't really know, to behonest.
We need to be okay, now we'rejust totally inefficient.
We're gonna play a guessinggame, and this is really gonna
(22:56):
take a long time.
And so I am such a fan now incommunication of where are you
at on this?
Forget sales for a moment.
So, um, Jeff, great conversationabout the marketing plan.
Um, where are you at on this?
How do you feel about um what wewhat we what we propose?
I think it's really good.
(23:17):
I think that the uh the approachyou guys are using is um is
right.
I think the strategy you laidout is a smart one.
Jeff, what do you not like aboutit?
What what needs to change?
What part of the pro of the planthat we just showed you um are
do you have some concerns about?
(23:38):
Well, you know, there is thatone piece great.
Can you say more about that?
Like, just ask questions.
Direct questions that revealwhere someone is.
The customer, the vendor, yourboss, your direct reports, your
colleagues, the other departmentheads, the functional area
(24:00):
leads.
Just ask them a direct question.
It accelerates conversation somuch.
And if they don't ask you adirect question about it, tell
them.
Let me give you know what thatwas a great presentation, um um,
Sam, and I wanted to react toit.
Um, are you open to somefeedback about it?
Yeah, I am.
(24:21):
Well, um, I'm not sure thatwe're gonna be able to launch
the product on the timelineyou're saying.
Wow, you just saved Sam so muchguessing.
Organizations and teams thatmove at a faster speed and with
greater efficiency have leadersthat ask direct questions that
(24:42):
reveal where someone is.
And when you ask the question,you pause and let them answer.
And then when they they dodge orthey weave or they vaguely
answer, you ask a directquestion again.
What range do you need us to bein?
What parts of it did you notfeel good about?
What would you adjust if youwere us?
(25:03):
Last comment uh in this podcast.
My third area.
So I uh area number one, take aposition.
That's a that's a massive unlockfor efficient communication.
Item number two, point numbertwo, ask direct questions that
reveal where someone is.
Number three, you've got torealize I just need you to
(25:28):
acknowledge this.
I don't care who the otherperson is, there are a few
exceptions, but not many.
I need you to realize thatpeople say 60 to 75 percent of
what they're really thinking.
People say 60 to 75 percent ofwhat they're really thinking,
(25:52):
and it's almost never above 90%.
So do not ever be fooled tothink they are saying
everything.
They're holding back.
Now, some of the people thatyou're communicating with,
you've got a great relationshipand a lot of history with them.
They're still not giving youmore than 90%.
(26:13):
I mean, hardly ever.
They're outliers to this.
You know who they are.
You know, you you know if you'reone of them, but the vast
majority of us, we're holdingback on a comment or two.
We're saying most of what wethink.
But there's some additionalthings that we're holding back
on.
When I'm in front of a client,and whether it's a senior
(26:37):
executive team, it's a largecrowd of people, whatever it
might be, or it's one-on-onewith a leader, I just know that
they're only giving me 60 to75%, and they can turn on me at
any moment.
You know what I mean, right?
Yeah, you can be their bestfriend, the greatest person in
(26:59):
the world to them, but thatcould change in a nanosecond.
And so I know that they'regiving me 60 to 75% of what
they're really thinking.
And so if I want to get a littlebit more, I'm like, what do you
what other feedback would yougive me?
What other thoughts do you have?
I really appreciate you beingdirect and honest and candid
(27:19):
with me.
Is there something that I'mmissing here?
You know, you you can dig alittle bit deeper in that, but
just know that that's humannature.
All right?
That saves you so much.
Because so I so many times I seeleaders at all levels of the
orchard that think, well, theythey said this.
Really?
We had a I'll tell you oneexample.
Again, back in the world ofsales, we had a leader, an
(27:40):
executive who a few years ago,this is like three or four years
ago, we had this big deal um infront of him.
It was it was seven figures,right?
Over a million dollars, and itinvolved a ton of leaders and a
ton of work um on on uh from ourfirm.
It was a you know, a Fortune 50company in a in a big scope of
work.
Really, really, really big scopeof work.
(28:00):
And um, and so we we had talkedwith this leader about this a
seven-figure proposal, and heconstantly said, yep, yep, oh
yeah, we're working on that.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
It never happened.
Never happened.
And this was someone who waspretty direct and honest with
us, and but he just he didn'tpeople don't want to tell you
(28:21):
no.
They don't want to, they don'twant to say, well, actually,
whatever.
And so those of you in sales,especially, you know, it's so
rare the client that just saysit happens sometimes.
It says, actually, I don't thinkwe have any interest in this
right now.
Oh, blus you.
Like you just saved me so manyemails.
You saved me so many phonecalls, or in meetings between
(28:44):
departments and functions.
Actually, for right now, that'snot something that we're gonna
prioritize.
Oh my gosh, that's so helpful.
Thank you for saying that outloud.
You saved us so much work.
And and and and so, yet that'sso that's so rare.
Um, usually people will tell youwhat they think you want to
(29:05):
hear.
And knowing that is superhelpful.
And uh I always tell you know,my colleagues at our firm, you
know, my especially my my the mybusiness partners in it, um, I
just always tell them, let thebehavior speak louder than the
words.
The behavior of the person.
(29:25):
Are they responding to theemails?
Are they are they leaning in?
Are they asking questions?
Are they getting things done ontime?
Are they showing initiative?
Are they are they doingwhatever?
Who whomever this is, client,team member, uh, prospect,
whatever, their behavior,consistent behavior, not the
(29:46):
outliers.
There are things we all screw upfrom time to time.
So I'm not talking about theoutliers.
You ignore that stuff, uh,generally speaking.
But their consistent day in andday in, uh, day out behavior,
let that speak louder than thewords.
That's television.
You 100% of what uh of what theythink.
Anyway, effective communication.
It's so critical.
(30:08):
I hope I've given you somethingin this episode in the last 30
minutes that's causing you tothink about an adjustment you
can make.
These are things that I haveunlocked in a lot of years of
studying communication and inworking really, really hard to
become more effective in it.
It's a game changer in affectingyour market value as a leader.
(30:33):
Effective communicators arevalued so much higher in the
marketplace.
I don't care what marketplacethat is, effective communicators
are valued more than those thatdon't communicate effectively.
So some things to think about inthis episode of the Lead in 30
podcast.
SPEAKER_02 (30:53):
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Tap on the share button and textthe link.
Thanks for listening to the Leadin 30 podcast with Russ Hill.
SPEAKER_03 (31:02):
Your sentence.
Three ways to be more efficient in your
communication with others.
It's such an importantleadership skill.
And we're digging into it inthis episode.
SPEAKER_02 (00:12):
This is the Lead in 30 podcast with Russell.
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Strengthen your ability to leadin less than 30 minutes.
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At the time that this episode isbeing released, we don't have
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We've been handing it out tocertain clients here and there
and gave it out at the event wehad in Sundance a few weeks ago.
But there are just even today afew things that we we that were
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identified that we've got totweak.
When you've got almost 400pages, you you you you've got
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were um were needing to beaddressed that need to be fixed.
So anyway, we're we're at we'rewe're doing that.
And soon, by the time a lot ofyou are listening to this
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You can go to LoneRock.io,download the first chapter, and
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order a couple of free copies tobe shipped to you, but it may
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episode's coming out.
By the way, welcome into theLead in 30 podcast.
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I make my living coachingconsulting senior executive
(01:54):
teams at some of the world'sbiggest companies.
You can find out more about ourexecutive consulting firm as
well as our leadershipdevelopment training that you
can buy right off the shelf.
Lead in 30, adapt in 30, decidein 30, power in 30.
They're all available atLoneRock.io.
Okay, so in this episode, I wantto talk about three things that
(02:20):
that will improve your abilityto communicate with others.
And I talk about communication aton because it's so critical.
So critical.
Whether you're in sales, whetheryou're in, I don't care what
department, functional areayou're in, and whether you have
(02:41):
direct reports or not, but ifyou want to lead others, if you
want to be a manager, a VP, adirector, an executive, um a
business owner, whatever itmight be, you've got to get
good.
Well, you don't have to.
You could be you could bemediocre in those things and not
communicate well, but if you cancommunicate effectively and
(03:03):
become more efficient in yourcommunication, it just increases
your value as a leaderdramatically.
So let's go into these threethings.
I'm gonna get right to it andthen uh break down why I picked
these three things.
There are lots more than three.
And if you go through and listento different episodes in the
past and scroll through kind ofthe topic list, you'll see lots
(03:24):
of episodes around communicationthat have different skills or
different tactics that I'm notgonna get to today that would
also fit under this category.
But today, these are the threethat are on my mind.
The first one, some of theseyou've heard me talk about
before, but I'm gonna reinforcethem because they're they're so
critical.
So the first thing that I haveto talk about when it comes to
(03:47):
being an effective communicator,whether that's with your team,
with other executives or leaderson the team, whether it's with
customers, whether it's withvendors, whether it's I don't
care who it is, you need to takea position.
It accelerates conversation somuch.
When you start a meeting andsay, hey, you all, I know we're
(04:08):
here today to talk about ourproduct strategy for next year
or the next six months, or we'rehere to talk about our
marketing, whatever, or oursales this, or this event that
we're planning coming up, or achange to this policy, whatever
the topic, whoever the inviteesare, take a position.
(04:31):
And so I'm not saying come inand tell everybody what you're
gonna do, but you want to take aposition in order to have people
react to that.
So, and we teach this concept,right?
We teach it as part of decide in30, as part of our
decision-making framework underthe topic of discussion, how to
lead a discussion on a on adecision.
And uh when you're considering adecision, we talk about listen,
(04:52):
position, listen.
You've heard me talk about thator or teach that in other
episodes.
And the whole idea is I startthe meeting and I say, okay, you
all, we're here to talk aboutthe marketing plan for next
year.
We're here to talk about theproduct release, and uh, you all
saw that on the agenda andwhatever.
I'm uh as we get started, I'minterested in any insights or
perspective or data or um thingsthat you want to share as we get
(05:15):
started.
And often when you do that,you're not gonna hear a ton
unless this is like meetingnumber four of an ongoing
discussion.
And then then people are gonnahave the background of previous
discussions and they're gonnacome in with some opinions.
But if you're just gettingstarted, this is meeting number
one, or it's a it's it's theonly meeting because it's not a
(05:36):
very big topic or very criticaltopic, then you're gonna have to
do a little bit to prime thepump to get the conversation
going.
But I'm gonna I I want todemonstrate my openness to your
opinions and perspectives andthoughts and feelings as we
start the meeting.
So, hey, you all, we have thison the meeting.
Uh you saw this on the agenda,uh, on your calendar.
Um, before I dive too deep intoit, what thoughts do you have?
(06:00):
What perspective did you want toshare?
What things have been on yourmind?
And then when you ask thatquestion, you have to realize
you all, I've seen this mistakeall the time.
No one, hardly anyone, hardlyever will someone be ready to
answer your question, to raisetheir hand, to speak up, to come
(06:21):
off mute the first time you aska question.
So don't anticipate, don'texpect that anyone's gonna have
something to say.
So if I come, if I hit you outof the blue with, all right,
y'all, thanks for coming to themeeting, what do you have to say
about our product timeline?
Well, you just finished anothermeeting, you just came out of
(06:42):
the restroom, you just you'vegot, you know, an email or text
that you just received on yourmind.
You're not even here mentallyyet.
So I'm catching you off guard.
There's no way in the world Ican expect you to answer that in
2.4 seconds.
So I never, effectivecommunicators never expect,
(07:04):
anticipate that anyone willanswer a question the first time
they ask it.
You're asking the question thefirst time to prime the pump, to
lay the foundation.
So it sounds like this.
So you all think as we start themeeting, I'm interested in
getting your perspective aboutour product timeline.
So what questions, observations,data, whatever it is, however
(07:25):
you want to word it, do you haveas we start the meeting?
And then I pause a second ortwo.
And the reason I'm pausing rightthere is not for them to answer.
The reason I'm pausing one ortwo seconds is so that they know
I actually intend to listen.
What questions do you all have,or what data or observations do
you have?
(07:45):
One, two, three, pause.
Now speak again, and here's whatit sounds like.
So what I'm looking for, andwhat you're doing here is you're
elaborating a little bit andyou're filling time, knowing
that now they're thinking.
So you need to fill 15 to 30seconds, not five minutes, not a
(08:07):
ton, because then they're gonnathink, oh, well, you you didn't
really want my perspective.
You were just asking thatrhetorically, and you're now
you're gonna go on yourmonologue.
No.
So I'm not giving insight, I'mnot answering anything.
I'm just I'm filling some timeand I'm priming the pump.
I'm giving them time to process.
So after that one, after thatthree-second pause that I come
back and I say, So, what I'mlooking for here, you all, is as
(08:30):
we get started, we're gonna diginto this topic over the next
hour, and I'm interested in whatquestions you have.
I know you all have beenthinking about this.
Like this has been on our minds.
I've had lots of gooddiscussions with many of you
over the last few days, last fewweeks about this topic.
I'm filling time.
And and and so um I'm interestedhere to have the uh conversation
(08:55):
where where you all will bringup some of those things and we
can dig into it.
So who wants, it's not, doesanyone want to say something?
Who wants to start us off?
Now, this time, you're notspeaking.
You're totally comfortable withsilence.
Who would like to start us off?
(09:15):
The only time I might ask thequestion a third time is who
wants so so I say, so who wantsto start us off?
Nobody speaks.
I wait about five seconds.
I'm looking into the camera ifI'm on a virtual meeting, I'm
looking at the group, if I'm inperson, I'm looking into their
eyes, looking around, notstaring at any one person, but
I'm surveying them so they knowI'm actually looking for it,
(09:38):
that I'm expecting them tospeak.
And then if I need to, I'll say,I know you all have lots of
opinions, somebody start us off.
And then you just let there besilent.
Someone will speak.
So what here's what happens alot of times, it's just cringe
worthy.
(09:58):
All right, you also'm reallyinterested in getting your
perspectives as we start themeeting.
Who wants to start us off?
Uh, and then we make a lamejoke, or we look way weak
because we laugh and we feeluncomfortable and we make
everybody cringe because we feeluncomfortable, like maybe they
don't want to speak or whatever.
So we say something like, Iguess you guys don't have
(10:19):
anything to say, or I know thatthat's really whatever, or um,
you know, maybe I didn't ask thequestion the right way.
We look, we start making fun ofourselves, we start making a
joke, we whatever.
You appear so weak, so weak inthat moment.
Like with senior executives ofthe world's biggest companies,
if I did that, they would bootme out of the room.
(10:42):
I look bush league, I lookamateur, I look like, oh my
gosh, come on, Russ.
So I'm not making fun of myself,I'm not making fun of them, I'm
not I'm I'm not make sayinganything that's cringe worthy,
I'm not laughing like uh, youknow, the uh nervous laughter,
like I thought that you allmight have something to say.
I guess there's not a lot ofopinion on this, and so I
(11:04):
thought there would be a lot,but what stop it.
You look small.
You look bigger when you say itthe way that I've said it.
So I know you all have and andyou come back and you restate
when you expect someone to weighin the first time you ask a
question and then you startfilling the space, or you go, I
(11:26):
guess there's not a lot of topicor a lot of feedback on this, so
I'm just gonna dive intowhatever, whatever.
Small, not true.
They have opinions, they've gotperspective.
You haven't done an effectivejob getting them to speak.
It's on you.
So you've got to, again, don'tanticipate they'll ever answer
(11:48):
the first question.
I never do.
Sometimes you'll get hands upimmediately.
That's a bonus, that's a gift,that's awesome.
I never expect that.
Whether I'm on stage in front of500 or 800 or 2,000 people, or
I'm in the room with 10executives.
I never expect anyone to speakimmediately.
(12:09):
And the look on my face, my bodylanguage is that I'm totally
comfortable with it.
And then I do everything I'veI've taught you so far.
Okay?
That's critically, criticallyimportant.
So um, so now let's go back toso now you hear, you've done all
that.
Now there's some conversationgoing.
Thanks, Linda, for starting usoff.
I really appreciate that.
You don't need to react toeverything that's said.
(12:32):
In other words, Linda speaks,and now you go off on a
five-minute monologue about whatyou think about what Linda said.
Stop.
We're not looking for you toreact to everything.
So it's simply you, but you'vegot to validate what Linda said.
Otherwise, people are like, oh,I'm not speaking up because he
didn't even really seem to payattention to what Linda said.
(12:53):
So here's what it sounds like.
Linda, great comment.
Totally appreciate you speakingup and sharing that.
It's great insight.
Who's next?
See how that works?
Linda's like, okay, that's it.
Yeah.
And and I might even ask Linda afollow-up.
So Linda, can you say more aboutthat?
I do this all the time.
And in especially in the roomwith people.
(13:15):
So Linda will speak up andshe'll say, I just don't really
know whether this is the rightdirection.
And then the simple response is,Linda, say more.
Linda, give us some context.
Linda, um, can you elaborate?
Like a very short response.
I never have had, never have hadsomeone say, Um, I that's really
(13:39):
all I got.
They always have more to say.
Linda, great comment.
Thanks for that perspective.
Um, say more about that.
Because I want to, and thenshe's gonna pause and go, well,
and typically she's gonna tell astory.
Well, we I was with Mikey lastweek, or we were with the
customer, or this, whatever, orshe's gonna provide data.
(14:00):
You know, I was looking at ourreports and whatever, whatever.
Now she's gonna make the case alittle bit more.
And now I come back and I go,Linda, really good comment.
Thanks for that.
That's that's really valuable.
I appreciate you starting usoff.
That's all I'm saying.
Okay, who's next?
Because what happens is so oftenyou, me, all of us, when we're
(14:21):
leading an ineffectivediscussion, now we go off and
react to Linda for five minutesand everyone else forgets what
they were gonna say.
Or now I'm going down a rabbithole on just the one topic or
perspective Linda brought upwhen I want to still hear
everybody.
And the next few comments havenothing to do with what Linda
said potentially.
So I don't want to sidetrack theconversation.
(14:42):
Great comment, Linda.
That's and I'm validating.
She needs to feel like Iactually heard her.
I really appreciate you sharingthat experience with the
customer.
That's valuable.
Ten seconds max in my response.
Who's next?
And you might have to wait aminute.
I know a lot of you all, I knowa lot of you, again, I'm second
(15:02):
time.
I know a lot of you have pers uhuh opinions on this as well.
Linda, thanks for starting usoff.
Who's next?
And you just look at them.
And then Mike speaks up, orwhomever.
Okay, great, same thing.
Mike, totally good.
I I thanks for thanks forsharing that.
Totally appreciate it.
(15:22):
I'm not going anymore.
Next.
And now there are exceptions tothe approach I'm talking about,
but generally speaking, this isreally valuable.
Now I'm gonna offer my position,right?
And I take a position to um toum to speed up the conversation.
So it would also lookappropriate.
It would also be appropriate forme to come into the meeting.
(15:44):
It doesn't have to be listen,position, listen.
It can be position listen.
You with me?
You all, as we start thisdiscussion, I'm gonna take a
position.
I'm totally movable on this.
That is such a critical wordwhen you're taking a position.
And don't use it if it's notaccurate.
So I'm totally movable on this,but in order to accelerate the
(16:07):
conversation, really get usgoing, give you something to
react to.
I uh I've got a couple of slidesthat I want to show you where
I'm I'm gonna offer one path wecould take as it go as it
pertains to the product timelinenext year or whatever the topic
is.
And then you take a position.
I'll give you an in uh, forinstance, of what we do.
One of the ways we do this as afirm is in front of an executive
(16:28):
team or any setting, we oftenuse a slide in our first
conversations with a group thatuh that says this.
The slide says the natural stateof teams is dysfunction.
Because we're there to talkabout leadership development and
whatever, whatever.
And so to get the group talking,we come in immediately in our
first slide, often in a deck, isthe natural state of teams is
(16:50):
dysfunction.
All right, you all, um, talk tosomebody next to you, pull up a
chair next to somebody, circlein groups of three or four,
depending on the group we'rewith, right?
React to that.
Is it true or is it not true?
And then we unleash thisconversation in the room about
whether or not this statement'strue.
And so often we'll say to thegroup in the room, we actually
(17:10):
don't know if that slide'saccurate.
And they laugh.
Like, we just wanted to get youtalking about the natural state
of teams.
And it just unleashes thisconversation and immediately
gets someone to react because wetake a position.
I I talk a lot in the pastepisodes about my experience
leading in being a leader in themedia space.
(17:31):
Great media personalities.
I'm not saying this is aboutnews, because news is something
different, and we don't havetime to get into that today.
But in like a sports talk showhost, you come on, you're paid
to take a position.
The Dallas Cowboys need to firethe coach.
The whatever, whatever have theythey shouldn't be in the top 10.
(17:52):
Like I'm taking a positionbecause it forces the
conversation to move forward.
You're like, oh, really?
Like, as opposed to going today,we're gonna talk about this,
that, and the other, and thenyou take a position five minutes
into the show, you've lost allthe viewers or listeners.
So you come in guns blazing withthe position.
Here's what I think.
Boom! I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'mmaking that announcement so that
(18:16):
I can accelerate theconversation.
Okay, let's get to the nextthing.
Item number two in uh inefficiency and communication.
I want you to focus on, it wouldbe awesome for you to focus on
asking more direct questionsthat reveal where someone else
is.
I do this with our potentialclients or even clients all the
(18:39):
time.
So we're in a conversation.
Let me tell you how the salesprocess often goes.
And so you're meeting with,let's say it's an ex, it's uh
it's an HR leader on thetraining side of our business.
We're meeting with an HR leader,human resources, or an LD
learning and development leader,and they're new to us.
And they want us to come speakat one of their meetings.
They've got this salesconference or a an a manager's
(19:01):
conference, virtual or inperson, and first quarter.
They want us to keynote or comespeak to this, or or can we help
them plan whatever content?
And uh, I just did this with aFortune 10 company and uh a
four-hour, or I can't rememberif it was three or four hour um
virtual um leadership summit.
What do they call that thing?
(19:22):
It's not a leadership summit,but a uh leadership forum.
And they wanted me to come inand speak for the last hour.
And this is an organization thatwas new to us, we haven't worked
with them before, and uh, andand and so I'm on a call uh and
or one of our team members, Ican't remember who's on the
call.
And um, but this happens all thetime.
And I'll say to them at the end,um, well, let me let me play it
(19:42):
out uh how it how it used to be.
This is how I did it five, tenyears ago.
All right, thanks so much, Lisa.
Great call.
I appreciate it.
Yep.
Thanks for your interest in us.
We'll get you a proposal that umwe'll uh that will lay out what
we can do for you, and then youlet us know.
Okay, great.
Yeah, that's so great, Russ, orwhomever.
Um, thanks.
Yeah, send that to us.
(20:03):
And I'm thinking, I don't knowwhere Lisa is on price.
Like, do I quote$5,000 to her or$500,000 to her?
You know, I'm being extremehere, right?
And um just forget the figures,but I I'm I don't know what her
budget is.
I don't know what herorganization has allocated for
this event.
I don't know whether she she wesend a proposal to her for$5,000
(20:26):
and she's gonna go, oh my gosh,that is so low.
Like, are they gonna suck?
Or she's gonna get the$5,000 andgo, holy cow, I thought they'd
do it for$100.
You know, again, I'm making itup, I'm exaggerating.
And so um, so then we we justkind of guess and we talk
amongst ourselves, you know, inevery organization.
We're like, okay, I think theprice is this.
(20:47):
Yeah, that's what we typicallycharge.
Go with this rate, but give theman option two of whatever.
So we fire off that email.
And then Lisa doesn't even lookat it, probably for a week.
Um, this is, you know, in someinstances, and then Lisa, then
Lisa opens the email and she shelooks at it, and and we don't
know when she opened it and andwhat, or, or maybe we have a
(21:09):
tracker on there, and we can seethat she opened it and she opens
it, but we have no idea on herreaction, and then we don't hear
from her for two weeks.
I'm saying this is about anyorganization, right?
I you know how this processplays out, those of you in
sales, and then you don't hearfrom Lisa like, I guess it was
too high.
I guess we didn't hit on theright things in the proposal, I
guess whatever.
And then you don't hearanything, and then Lisa finally
emails you back and then says,Hey, I want to talk to you about
(21:31):
whatever.
And there's all this ambiguity.
It's total inefficiency incommunication.
So, how do I do that now?
Here's what it goes.
Hey, Lisa, great call.
Totally appreciate yourinterest.
So um, let's talk investment fora second, what this is gonna
look like.
Do you all have a budget forthis event coming up?
Yeah, we do.
(21:52):
Okay.
Well, what range do you need usto be in?
Well, I need you to be betweenum, well, between uh$20,000 and
$30,000.
Okay.
Yeah.
Well, then, so$20,000,$30,000.
Um, that's that's what you allhave budgeted for this?
Yeah, we do, but I've got someother m some of that money I
want to use for something else,and we got a whatever.
(22:13):
Okay.
So what I'm thinking we'll do,Lisa, is we'll give you a
proposal.
We'll give you two options.
And one will be$20,000 and onewill be$30,000.
So one on kind of the lower endof that, and one on the higher
end, and then you decide, oh,that would be so helpful or
whatever.
I've just saved us a month.
A month of total communicationgoing back and forth.
(22:36):
We're not guessing anymore.
This isn't just about sales, youall.
And by the way, some people willbe like, well, we don't really
have, they'll be sly on it.
Well, we don't have a lot ofmoney allocated for this.
Actually, we have no budget, butI think I could scrape something
up.
Well, what range do you need usto be in?
Well, I don't really know, to behonest.
We need to be okay, now we'rejust totally inefficient.
We're gonna play a guessinggame, and this is really gonna
(22:56):
take a long time.
And so I am such a fan now incommunication of where are you
at on this?
Forget sales for a moment.
So, um, Jeff, great conversationabout the marketing plan.
Um, where are you at on this?
How do you feel about um what wewhat we what we propose?
I think it's really good.
(23:17):
I think that the uh the approachyou guys are using is um is
right.
I think the strategy you laidout is a smart one.
Jeff, what do you not like aboutit?
What what needs to change?
What part of the pro of the planthat we just showed you um are
do you have some concerns about?
(23:38):
Well, you know, there is thatone piece great.
Can you say more about that?
Like, just ask questions.
Direct questions that revealwhere someone is.
The customer, the vendor, yourboss, your direct reports, your
colleagues, the other departmentheads, the functional area
(24:00):
leads.
Just ask them a direct question.
It accelerates conversation somuch.
And if they don't ask you adirect question about it, tell
them.
Let me give you know what thatwas a great presentation, um um,
Sam, and I wanted to react toit.
Um, are you open to somefeedback about it?
Yeah, I am.
(24:21):
Well, um, I'm not sure thatwe're gonna be able to launch
the product on the timelineyou're saying.
Wow, you just saved Sam so muchguessing.
Organizations and teams thatmove at a faster speed and with
greater efficiency have leadersthat ask direct questions that
(24:42):
reveal where someone is.
And when you ask the question,you pause and let them answer.
And then when they they dodge orthey weave or they vaguely
answer, you ask a directquestion again.
What range do you need us to bein?
What parts of it did you notfeel good about?
What would you adjust if youwere us?
(25:03):
Last comment uh in this podcast.
My third area.
So I uh area number one, take aposition.
That's a that's a massive unlockfor efficient communication.
Item number two, point numbertwo, ask direct questions that
reveal where someone is.
Number three, you've got torealize I just need you to
(25:28):
acknowledge this.
I don't care who the otherperson is, there are a few
exceptions, but not many.
I need you to realize thatpeople say 60 to 75 percent of
what they're really thinking.
People say 60 to 75 percent ofwhat they're really thinking,
(25:52):
and it's almost never above 90%.
So do not ever be fooled tothink they are saying
everything.
They're holding back.
Now, some of the people thatyou're communicating with,
you've got a great relationshipand a lot of history with them.
They're still not giving youmore than 90%.
(26:13):
I mean, hardly ever.
They're outliers to this.
You know who they are.
You know, you you know if you'reone of them, but the vast
majority of us, we're holdingback on a comment or two.
We're saying most of what wethink.
But there's some additionalthings that we're holding back
on.
When I'm in front of a client,and whether it's a senior
(26:37):
executive team, it's a largecrowd of people, whatever it
might be, or it's one-on-onewith a leader, I just know that
they're only giving me 60 to75%, and they can turn on me at
any moment.
You know what I mean, right?
Yeah, you can be their bestfriend, the greatest person in
(26:59):
the world to them, but thatcould change in a nanosecond.
And so I know that they'regiving me 60 to 75% of what
they're really thinking.
And so if I want to get a littlebit more, I'm like, what do you
what other feedback would yougive me?
What other thoughts do you have?
I really appreciate you beingdirect and honest and candid
(27:19):
with me.
Is there something that I'mmissing here?
You know, you you can dig alittle bit deeper in that, but
just know that that's humannature.
All right?
That saves you so much.
Because so I so many times I seeleaders at all levels of the
orchard that think, well, theythey said this.
Really?
We had a I'll tell you oneexample.
Again, back in the world ofsales, we had a leader, an
(27:40):
executive who a few years ago,this is like three or four years
ago, we had this big deal um infront of him.
It was it was seven figures,right?
Over a million dollars, and itinvolved a ton of leaders and a
ton of work um on on uh from ourfirm.
It was a you know, a Fortune 50company in a in a big scope of
work.
Really, really, really big scopeof work.
(28:00):
And um, and so we we had talkedwith this leader about this a
seven-figure proposal, and heconstantly said, yep, yep, oh
yeah, we're working on that.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
It never happened.
Never happened.
And this was someone who waspretty direct and honest with
us, and but he just he didn'tpeople don't want to tell you
(28:21):
no.
They don't want to, they don'twant to say, well, actually,
whatever.
And so those of you in sales,especially, you know, it's so
rare the client that just saysit happens sometimes.
It says, actually, I don't thinkwe have any interest in this
right now.
Oh, blus you.
Like you just saved me so manyemails.
You saved me so many phonecalls, or in meetings between
(28:44):
departments and functions.
Actually, for right now, that'snot something that we're gonna
prioritize.
Oh my gosh, that's so helpful.
Thank you for saying that outloud.
You saved us so much work.
And and and and so, yet that'sso that's so rare.
Um, usually people will tell youwhat they think you want to
(29:05):
hear.
And knowing that is superhelpful.
And uh I always tell you know,my colleagues at our firm, you
know, my especially my my the mybusiness partners in it, um, I
just always tell them, let thebehavior speak louder than the
words.
The behavior of the person.
(29:25):
Are they responding to theemails?
Are they are they leaning in?
Are they asking questions?
Are they getting things done ontime?
Are they showing initiative?
Are they are they doingwhatever?
Who whomever this is, client,team member, uh, prospect,
whatever, their behavior,consistent behavior, not the
(29:46):
outliers.
There are things we all screw upfrom time to time.
So I'm not talking about theoutliers.
You ignore that stuff, uh,generally speaking.
But their consistent day in andday in, uh, day out behavior,
let that speak louder than thewords.
That's television.
You 100% of what uh of what theythink.
Anyway, effective communication.
It's so critical.
(30:08):
I hope I've given you somethingin this episode in the last 30
minutes that's causing you tothink about an adjustment you
can make.
These are things that I haveunlocked in a lot of years of
studying communication and inworking really, really hard to
become more effective in it.
It's a game changer in affectingyour market value as a leader.
(30:33):
Effective communicators arevalued so much higher in the
marketplace.
I don't care what marketplacethat is, effective communicators
are valued more than those thatdon't communicate effectively.
So some things to think about inthis episode of the Lead in 30
podcast.
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