All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten: Uncommon Thoughts on Common Things by Robert Fulghum was published in 1986. It was quite the rage because it was filled with commonsense life maxims. I read it and appreciated the author's point that even children can (and should) learn how to behave toward others.
We are almost 40 years later, and it seems like a prehistoric work of fiction. When I purchased this book, I had yet to turn 30. I had two small children and a wife I'd been married to for about nine years. Back then, the content was much less remarkable than it is today.
I appreciated Mr. Fulghum's sentiment that kindness and courtesy are behaviors he learned as a small child, but that was then and now. When Fulghum grew up, parents trained children by providing guard rails, forbidding certain misbehavior, and encouraging proper behaviors. That's much less visible today.
When I first read the book, I quickly realized that kindergarten didn't teach me these things, but my parents and older folks did. Increasingly, I realized they weren't teaching me some arbitrary rules they had constructed. Their training manual wasn't a book by some doctor or psychologist. They were using the Bible, the Word of God.
The book focuses on fundamentals, such as the " golden rule," which originated in God's mind.
John 13:34-35
"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another".
Matthew 7:12
"So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets."
I learned that at home while reading the Bible. I also learned it by attending worship services every Sunday, a day that was (and still is) referred to as "the Lord's Day." Of course, every day belongs to the Lord, but the day of worship is unique and set apart for public worship.
Hebrews 10:25
"Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day (of worship, Sunday) approaching."
As an old man, I reflect on my training, and I've remained true to it because it was always based on the ultimate authority, God, and the Savior of all mankind, Jesus Christ. It wasn't just a group of old people who littered my life, nor was it just my mom or dad imposing their will. It was a pattern for living, trained into me by these people who loved me and wanted only my best.
Over the years, I've leaned hard on the precepts and principles of my training and continued it. It didn't stop when I turned 18 or 21.
The truth is, I made more dedicated, conscious efforts after I became an adult. I spent more hours studying and conversing with older mentors who continued my training. The foundation had been set, but the building didn't begin until I was an adult, out on my own. That's the litmus test for convictions - when you're on your own, no longer under the thumb of anybody else, and free to choose for yourself. When that time comes, what will you do? How will you behave?
Honesty, truth, kindness, courtesy (and much more) were instilled when I was a child, but as an adult, many no longer make those choices. We justify our poor behavior, choosing to be victims of others or circumstances we don't think we deserve.
I first saw deception at work on a stereo store showroom floor during my teen years. If a shopper was lied to about a piece of gear they considered, they might buy it. If you told the truth, they might not. My training and my conscience wouldn't let that happen. It became easier when I realized that telling the truth worked better than telling the lies I knew others were telling. It turns out that the truth always works best.
Personality and communication play a role, but the truth and doing what's right aren't subjective to either one. I've learned that some people struggle to communicate cl...