#2402 Praktische tips om je leven richting te geven | Design Your Own Life

Deze aflevering gaat over mijn nieuwe boek Design Your Own Life, Kies je eigen toekomst. Een gesprek met Cindy en mijn co-redacteur Sjors Sommer. We leggen uit waarom we dit boek hebben geschreven en hoe dit boek tot stand is gekomen.

Plus we gaan in op enkele belangrijke thema's en veelgestelde vragen. 

Dit is mijn nieuwe boek: https://www.michaelpilarczyk.nl/boeken Design Your Own Life. N#1 Bestseller. Dit boek geeft je richting voor je toekomst.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to a new Life , your Most Beautiful Life
Podcast.
You can now also call it theDesign your Own Life Podcast.
Nice title.
Yes, it's a nice title.
That is also the title of ournew book Design your Own Life
Choose your Own Future.
Today in the studio, CindyPilarchik-Kuhmann and Ashore

(00:20):
Sommer, co-director of the bookDesign your Own Life, and I am
there myself.
Michael, Welcome, nice to hearyou.
We are going to talk about thebook today and especially about
what we wrote that book.

Speaker 2 (00:33):
Yes, I know that a year ago we were outside and
then I said to you I think, whydon't you write a book that you
want to read yourself when youwere 20?
And that's where I started.

Speaker 1 (00:48):
Yes, that was the starting point and that also
meant that a lot of young peoplewent to read the Master your
Mindset, and with young I meanwell, really under the age of 30
.
I wrote the book for a littlebit 30 plus and then we noticed
in recent years that there havebeen more and more young readers

(01:10):
, until even 13, 14, 15 years.
And then we sat down with eachother and I was going to discuss
with George what we will do.
We will make Master yourMindset Junior, a junior version
of Master your Mindset, ayounger version.
That was actually the idea whenyou said why don't you write
the book?

Speaker 2 (01:30):
Yes, and then it actually starts like with us all
.
Then we think, oh, then we'lljust fit the book to some more
examples of now and in the endthen a total out of hand project
again.

Speaker 3 (01:43):
And did you do that longer than you expected?

Speaker 2 (01:46):
Yes, a total new book , and also went away, but also
realized that that was also avery good idea, that actually
didn't work at all Master yourMindset, To fit some other
examples, what fits young peoplebut that it really had to be a
new book.
And then I said to George is itnot convenient if we make a

(02:07):
laser panel?
Because we all don't have a lotof young artists from our
environment anymore and Ithought it was good to see what
is really playing in their livesat the moment.
Where are they really going nowto really go into a deeper
conversation with them?

(02:28):
And George, what did you put upthen?
And that was so incredibly funand valuable.

Speaker 3 (02:34):
Yes, it was very exciting to see.
I didn't have a lot of imagesmyself, but I really thought.
Gen Z, those are millennials.
Our generation is only a littleyounger.

Speaker 2 (02:45):
And a little bit for Gen Z.
What age is it from?

Speaker 3 (02:49):
Yes, it's from 1996 to 2012, I think.
So you're up to 24, butactually from 12 to 24.
The book was written for thetarget group from 18 to 30, so
it's a little wider.
There are also millennials, butI thought Gen Z, those boys

(03:12):
from 18 to 20, about the sameage as 30, they think the same
way and they have the sameissues.
It was interesting to do someresearch because you notice
certain things that I don'texpect myself.
You see a lot of stuff that isvery much in the dark and
because you then end upinvolving 3500 people, because
you get such a big sample, youcan see that some things really

(03:36):
have a lot of trouble, or theseare things that really come
often.
Because I'm curious, becauseyou just said it to Mike you
wrote the book, what you had towrite for yourself when you had
it, because you see a lot ofthings happening to boys.
But what did you see on socialmedia earlier, asking questions
that were asked of you?
Because after the research, wehad a very good picture.

(03:58):
What was the idea that you hadbefore that, before you started
the whole process?

Speaker 1 (04:06):
I noticed that it was a big question where the book
actually goes about.
What am I going to do with myfuture?
How am I going to make choices?
I just don't know which side Ishould face with my life.
But those questions were verydiverse A lot of problems with
parents, really a lot of issueswith parents, with education,

(04:30):
with choices.
I just want to be successful.
I just want to earn a lot ofmoney.
I want to start a company, Iwant to be an entrepreneur.
How do you do that?
And you can find that online.
There are a lot of programs anda lot of examples, but as far
as I know, you don't reallylearn that in school, in
practice.
So there is a very diversescale of themes that were kept

(04:55):
up to me where I thought that isdefinitely worth a book.

Speaker 2 (05:00):
What do you think about it most after you read the
question with the laser panelin contact, because a few things
are being expressed in open.

Speaker 3 (05:09):
Yes, we analyzed the results.
So first everything was takenover, but I also looked at what
terms were used.
What was most used was thefuture choices for the future
that one of the three people whogave this specific term.
So I don't know what I want forthe future or I find it

(05:30):
difficult to choose what I'mgoing to do for the future In
that way.
One of the three people whowrote it like this.
But the important thing is, ifyou read all those stories
because we said everything, onlythat research is already a few
books on content read everything.
At some point you get a pictureof okay, this is the target
group for you and then you readfurther and that is more

(05:52):
established.
So you really read the samekind of stories.
So these are also the thingsthat I also remember when I was
18 or 20.
I wasn't really working on it.
I didn't really have an idea ofwhat I wanted for the future.
So that's a big theme, one ofthe things that I saw a lot of
back then.
Besides that I have to focus onit or I'm quickly distracted or

(06:16):
negative influence from theenvironment, that there are
issues with that.
Where do I find a mentor or acoach, until issues that you see
less often, like what is mylife mission, or how do I find a
dream job, or how do I start asuccessful business.
Of course, everything comes toan end, but above all, at some
point you see those headlinesand that's why you also come up

(06:39):
with those 15 questions, becausethese 15 questions come back
every time.
That's pretty annoying, that'sso.

Speaker 1 (06:46):
So you went to those 15 questions.
Maybe you can read them,because everyone who is
listening knows what we'retalking about.
So we filtered all those themesout of those 15 questions and
that's the basis of the bookwhere we answer them.
But above all, we give tools sothat you can find the answer to

(07:07):
these questions yourself.
We're not just going to givethe answer.
There's more to it than theintention that you will be able
to answer the questions yourself.
Would you like to read them?

Speaker 2 (07:15):
I would like to read a few of them.
How do I discover what I reallywant to live with?
How do I deal with the highexpectations of others?
How do I deal with my thoughtsand unrest in my head?
How can I deal with parents,friends and other people?
How do I deal with fear anddisappointment?
How can I deal with my emotionsbetter?

(07:36):
How do I deal with stress?
How do I get moreself-confidence?

Speaker 1 (07:43):
That's a couple of fifteen questions.

Speaker 3 (07:45):
Yes, Quite an challenge to do something like
this, Because I don't know howit was with you when you came to
ask the fifteen questions andwhen we saw that, I thought well
, it's a pretty long challengeto answer this in a book.

Speaker 2 (07:57):
I'm curious about the themes that you ask from these
questions, Because we can alsosee it as themes.
How much did you recognize itwhen you were young?
I mean between the eighteen andtwenty-four.
Do you recognize yourself insome themes?

Speaker 1 (08:18):
No, I think in most cases not Honestly, because if
you are now talking about stressor researching what you want to
do with your life or yourfuture, for me that was very
clear.
I didn't have any stress.
I wanted to work very clearlyon the radio.
I knew what I wanted, how mylife would look like as my life
is now.
What I personally wanted toknow more about is that, yes,

(08:43):
there are a few things that areimportant that we will deal with
your thoughts.
So the whole mindset part Iwanted to know much earlier.
I never learned anything aboutthat.
And the part of the businessand money-saving I wanted to
talk about something earlier, orsomething about courage or
something about reading.
So maybe that's why I waseighteen or twenty I could have

(09:07):
learned what came much laterBecause you have read a lot of
books.

Speaker 2 (09:11):
No, never.

Speaker 1 (09:12):
No, right no.

Speaker 2 (09:14):
Once a friend of yours read a book by Bode
Schaefer, but before that didyou read a lot of books.

Speaker 1 (09:21):
I never read books like that as far as I remember.
I thought reading was verystupid.
I had to read books at school,of course.
At the port I read D H Lawrenceand D Lise Lover why, no idea?
And the Dave De Jackal byFredric Forsythe and Francois
Sagan for France, but those weresome sort of obligatory numbers

(09:41):
.
I thought I read so stupidly.
I don't understand what you'rereading.
Why do I have to read a book?
What do you have there?
And I think that's thechallenge of this book that we
have written now, and I canimagine very well that there is
a very large group of youngpeople school students who now
also think, hello, why would Iread a book?
Or do I see it as an challenge?

Speaker 3 (10:03):
Yes, but you do have a number of very specific
interests.
You say so.
You knew what you wanted to be.
If there was something abouthow you can earn more money, you
do have an interest in it.
If I gave Michael this book atthe age of 18, and said there is
definitely something about it,are you going to read it?
If you had something like that,you would have gone crazy.
I'm not going to read it at all, or how was that for you then?

Speaker 1 (10:28):
Well, I would find it very difficult if you ask me
this question now.
So would I be reading this bookthen when I was 18?
I don't know that.
But then what Cindy just said,a friend of mine gave that book
by Bode Shever with the titlehow do you get your first
million?
How do you get your firstmillion?
Well, that was a trigger for me.
So I wanted to read that rightaway, just like when I had read

(10:50):
Girl Rich.
That triggered me.
And how to be a millionaire,how to live like a millionaire.
I found those interestingtitles.
So when you are interested in acertain subject I think without
the subject you are thenwilling to read a book.

Speaker 3 (11:07):
Yes, so it actually starts with the interests.
Yes, because then it was foryou.
Cindy, did you leave your bookat the age of 18?

Speaker 2 (11:13):
No, the same story as for Michael.
I never read books.
I didn't have any pleasure inthat.
No, as long as I remember, Inever read.
And Michael gave me the secretas the first book.
That's a very easy and simplebook and I immediately started
reading it and from then on Ireally read a lot of books, all

(11:36):
about fiction, and I found thatvery interesting.
And I was 24 years old thenBecause I was writing the book
for young people and I alsomeant the book I wanted to read
at that time.
And I also noticed we noticedthat Mastur Mindset was a little

(11:56):
more focused, also with theexample of 35+.
There is actually not really abook that, if you are 22 years
old, which in this matter issimple and easy to explain,
which is also easy to read,especially for people like me,
and I just don't read that muchyet Then it's nice if it's easy

(12:18):
to write as you go through iteasily and I also find pleasure
in reading and I also think thatin combination with a lot of
assignments that are includedhere, the summary that you have
made at the end it's super easyto read and we get a lot of that
back from the target group andwe also really have a lot of
awareness about it.
Do you also?
But I know for you it wasdifferent.

Speaker 3 (12:41):
You read a lot.
When I was really 12, 13, 14, Ididn't read a lot.
I was going to read, especiallybecause my mother just bought
me books, and not that shewanted to, but she liked it, of
course, because she thought,okay, maybe she'll read it, and
I think it was her intention toget me interested in books, but

(13:01):
she didn't really need it.
So you have to read this.
Or it's more that I got a newbook for every opportunity,
until she had a book from afantasy series for young the
grey year-olds, and that stillexists.
Then she bought it for me.
Well, I thought that was abooyant because it was a story.
I was completely taken in there.
I thought, well, it's actuallyinteresting.

(13:22):
Then I got that whole series,of course, and after that I did
get a little further into it andI thought maybe it's also fun
to read something else.
And in that way I think thatyou can have interests in all
kinds of things, especially ifyou really have all the children
who are interested, if you thenspark those interests.

(13:43):
So if you're working on thatand you further dive into it
yourself, then you'll find awhole world of possibilities.
So when I was 16, 17, 18, I wasreally a lot, but that's still
fiction, so it's really that Iwas working on this kind of
theme.
That was also well, a lot latertwo, three, four and twenty,

(14:03):
actually from philosophy,because I was going to read
philosophy Most of all.
That's also in my case, in thecase of you start with the real
old philosophers, then you gomore to modern times and at some
point you also get into theapproach with books, for example
from Hill, that you come acrossthat for a while that you think
, oh, this is super interesting.
But that was also when I wasfour, five, twenty that I really

(14:24):
was working on those kinds ofthings.
And I think that's becausethere really is very little what
is really written for thetarget group, what is really
accessible yes, that's right.
Also, if you're 18, then evenif you read books, then you
really read in a very differentway than well, like we would now
read a book.
And then the whole challenge,which you also said, mike, that

(14:47):
if you read little books, how doI look at books, that it really
has to be extremely accessibleand it must also be connected to
the needs that you currentlyhave.

Speaker 1 (14:56):
But what I'm reading in the first feedback and the
reviews is that the mission hasbeen completed through reading
we will come back to that butthat it is written in a way that
it is very accessible andunderstandable easy.
What I often have with thesekinds of books if you have a lot

(15:18):
of books about yourself that itis often so dusty and so I have
to go through it then I oftenput it away.
And this is fun to read, with alot of practical examples of
young people who we have spokento, who tell their stories.
So it is also a veryrecognizable mirror for many
others.
Oh, I don't have that problemalone.
That has Cindy, and Shores hasthat too, and they have solved

(15:42):
it that way, and that's why Ithink it's a very valuable book,
because it's written so easily.
From now on.

Speaker 2 (15:51):
Yes, I think it's nice to pick up a piece or a
theme and make the power ofchoice.
Why is it in there?
Why was it important?

Speaker 3 (16:02):
It is important because we have seen this again.
First of all, we started withthat book.
It started when Sir Mike saidfor young people.
Then we saw that the wholebottom line parallel that this
has to be completely different.
One of the things that I saidtoo soon.
What came back a lot is futureand choices make for the future,
and the big question is thenwhat is a good choice?

(16:23):
And that is often made very big.
Then you make a choice foralways and very exciting because
you are very aware of what canand can be very much.
So what is a good choice?
That question is very much set,so it is interesting to see
where that question comes from,but also to write about it.

(16:45):
What is a good choice?
Is it a choice that fits you?
Why is that choice good or not?
That is why this piece is inthere, and also quite a bit at
the beginning, because you don'twant to choose what you want to
do with your life or what arethe choices that go into the

(17:07):
book later, with whom you aregoing around or what you are
going to do with your health.
Then it is convenient to readsomething about it earlier.
When is a choice, then?
For me personally, a goodchoice.

Speaker 1 (17:19):
I think there is a lot of fear in a lot of areas
and especially when it comes tomaking choices.
I am, I don't know, 16 or 18 or21, and I have to choose and
there is a certain pressure fromoutside.
That pressure from outside wehave seen a lot in the feedback.
It probably comes through theparents, the expectation pattern
from outside.
But if I choose the wrong study, then yes, then it is very

(17:44):
often then then it is the pointpoint point, because afterwards
there is no answer, but there isoften fear that I do the wrong
thing, make the wrong choice.
And what we try to make clearis maybe give clarity, to make
people more aware that it is notas big as you might think, that

(18:05):
there are only few choices thatare so big that you cannot
change them anymore.
If you choose something and itdoes not fall, you can just send
it back.
You do not have to, if you areso young, to cut your whole life
out until the last detail, onlywhat we imagine.
That is a bit my vision.
It is nice if you have an ideaof how your life should look

(18:27):
like and if you charge it youcould say do you want to have a
luxury life with everything onit.
Do you want to take everythingout?
Or you say, well, I prefer tosit on the other side of the
universe, I see where it ends,and if I end up in the big one
with only misery and drama andproblems, then I think that's

(18:48):
good too.
It is a bit like you know whichside I want to go up, and I
think it is almostunderstandable that you do not
have a certain vision andwhether that is well.
I'm going to live in a house ofwheels and I start a family and
I have a dog and a middle-classcar and I have a relaxed job.
I do not work too much, but Ihave a lot of free time.

(19:09):
I can go around with my friends, my family, my family, and that
makes me happy, because I thinkthat's important.
That is what makes you happy,what makes me better and happier
.
That is also good.
But you have to know a littlebit which side you are going up
and you have to make that choiceyourself and from there the
Dutch subtitle also chooses yourown future.
It is about your future, butyou do not have to have your

(19:33):
whole lifebook written for thenext 80 years, and I think that
too much uncertainty is comingfrom that.

Speaker 2 (19:41):
You are just saying that you have to know a little
bit which side you are going up,and I also think that you know
that by doing things, by takingthings, what sometimes happens
to me is that there is littledone and taken and the less you
read, the less you have yourside-lines.

(20:02):
The less you work, the less youstudy, the less you also know
what is not right for you.
And I think that making choicesis also easier if you take more
into account.
And it was like there was akind of freeze-hast, but if I do
that, maybe that is not goodand I think that right when you

(20:25):
are 16 to 25, 20 is a super niceperiod to try out a lot and to
cover and make it easier for youto make decisions there, and I
also see a bit of pressure fromthe parents on that.
It should be the rightdirection, so it feels for me.

Speaker 3 (20:45):
And then you choose a study, for example, and after a
year you realize that this isnot what I want.
But I have someone who told methat I have come across
something in a book or whateverit is.
You hear, what I actually wantis that side, but that insight
that you would never have doneif you hadn't made that wrong
choice for your study.

(21:05):
And that's why, if you startwith the idea that you have to
choose one study in my life andthat's what I'm going to do,
there's only one job for me Thenif you look at it in that way,
you get a kind of freeze.
Then you get that fear ofmaking mistakes Because it's so
static.
And if I understand you well, Ialso say that it's more.

(21:27):
It's more we're going to dosomething.

Speaker 1 (21:31):
I think it's going to be very important.
It's going to be important andyou'll get something on your
path.
The choice was finally made byme, but the choice was to write
a novel.
Then the choice was in heaven.
Master of Mindset wasn't a veryconscious choice.
Everything I do now is notsomething I'm thinking about.

(21:55):
That's the outcome.
Because of the things I do.
Because I came across Cindytalking to other people, I
discovered that I could helppeople.
Based on my own experienceBecause of helping people the
last ten years, I learned a lotagain.
That's why I think I've becomemuch better at it.
That's why we could havewritten this book.
But things come on your pathBecause of the money for Cindy,

(22:21):
of course.
If Cindy and I hadn't comeacross each other, you might
have done something different.

Speaker 2 (22:28):
I want to tell you a fun story.
What would be my tip for youngpeople?
One of them is to make sure youwork in places where you can
spread your network.
When I went to study, I workedin a café on the 9 streets.
I knew there were always manyinteresting people sitting there

(22:51):
.
That brought me to a networkwhere I would never come back.
I know a lot of valuable peoplewho I still talk to.
I met them when I was 18.
One of the guys who always cameto the café was a poker player.

(23:13):
He was called Arthur.
I told him I was going toBarcelona with my girlfriend.
He said he needed to meet Thijs, a friend of mine who lives in
Barcelona.
I gave him my number, sent hima message and he made sure I
could come to all clubs.
He knows everyone in Barcelona.
A nice guy contacted me andmade sure he was making the way

(23:36):
for me in Barcelona.
I contacted Thijs, otherwise Iwould never have come.
I knew Thijs and I knew you.
I think it's a tip when you'reyoung to work in places to walk
on stage, where you can contactthese kinds of people.

Speaker 1 (23:57):
But also go to work somewhere where good people can
learn a lot.
I think that's valuable forlater.
Start with the bottom line.
Understand that you don't knowanything.
So start from the bottom andlook around you.
Learn from those good people.

Speaker 2 (24:13):
I think that if you look at your past life, you've
always learned so much.
I think that maybe you've beenunconsciously a sort of strategy
To always learn from people whoyou want to learn from, to go
around with them.
When you went to the fields, tothe radio, you always went

(24:42):
around with those people.

Speaker 1 (24:46):
That's what I've always said.
Look for an example when Iworked at Veronica in the late
80's, my example was with theradio Jeroen van Inkel, Of
course.
It was a gigantic example,together with Adam Curry and in
the voice field, which I've donea lot with, which has been a

(25:06):
very learning process for me.
For years I had Alfred Lagardeand Jos Berge Hennigau.
That was when the two big namesand voices were really in that
area and I was walking with themday and night, but literally
day and night.
We were often in the studiountil 3, 4, 5 in the evening and

(25:27):
then I was there as a littleboy.
I didn't drink coffee forAlfred or Jos, and then I could
listen and see how they weredoing, and then I learned a lot
from that.
I spent the night with thoseguys in the studio.
So if you look at people whowere successful in their lives
at a later age, they weren'tjust one or two years old.

(25:49):
They've been doing that sincethey were very young.
I was talking about the periodwhen I was 18.
And that sometimes I said tothem at 3 o'clock in the evening
I think I have to go home,otherwise my mother will be
disturbed.
And then they said do you wantto work here?
Do you want to get?
Well, Then I'm going to get thecrook, then you'll come back,
and so I go then, and I think Ilearned a lot of work ethics

(26:14):
from that.
But I just looked a lot awayfrom the best, and that may be
an important advice for everyone.
Look for people who are reallygood in a certain area where you
would like to go, and you canlearn from that.

Speaker 2 (26:27):
Yes, it's of course a very old model, a
teacher-master-learning model.
What has already been adaptedto it for thousands of years?
It strikes me that at young ageI see it less and less.
For me, that's really ateacher-master's very conscious
search.

Speaker 3 (26:46):
But is that also not because there are less targeted
interests?
Because if you're veryinterested in something, then
you look at it as this is.
I think this is annoying, thatI want to be good in who is good
in there.
That can then be an example foryou and then you can also take
the necessary action to get incontact with someone like that.
If you don't know, if you haveno idea what you want and also

(27:10):
don't like what you actuallythink, and you have no interests
, how are you going to findsomeone who will help you?
I mean, then you don't have adirection Because, look, you
said you went there, you went towork, you came in contact with
people.
How was it for you in the pastwhen you had that age?
Because you are not going towork for a place where people

(27:34):
come with networks.

Speaker 2 (27:36):
Yes, I came to live in Amsterdam, of course.
I was 18 years old and Ithought well, I want to meet
nice people.
And where do you have to meetnice people?
In the interesting nice cafesin the Kroeg, yes, and then you
can choose every Wilker Kroeg.
I did some research on whichnetwork I want to get in contact
with.

Speaker 3 (27:56):
So you are also very focused on that because you
didn't think specifically thatyou would have done that.
I'm going to put that networkin front of this or that, but
you notice that there areopportunities.
I'm going to make at least alot of contact there.
I can learn a lot.

Speaker 2 (28:11):
It seems more interesting than, for example,
in a tourist cafe where everyoneis walking.
And the other thing is thatthat would be absolutely my
advice, even if you might say,if you don't know exactly what
you want to do, I already knewthat very clearly because I
didn't know that either.
But during my internship periodI sat at a PR office which was

(28:37):
very well written for verywell-known brands and I thought,
well, I don't know exactly whatI want, but if I later know a
company or what I know, then PRis an important part of it.
And if you're good at PR, youcan buy everything.
And in particular, if you havea product, it has to be sold, it
has to be known.

(29:00):
And I thought, if I sit at myown rest for half a year, I'm
going to learn a lot.
And I learned so much from that.
It was really sort of devil'swear spread.
So you just get a half year old.
It was really pittish, but,just like with me, you learn a
certain work ethic by playing ata level like that at a company,

(29:26):
at a lady's place.
And that would be absolutely myadvice Make sure you choose
stages in final scripts verycarefully and make sure you can
learn a lot at places you can goto.
That's really the moment.

Speaker 3 (29:43):
So you're your own teacher.

Speaker 2 (29:44):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (29:48):
That's what we're going to do.
When we started MastermindAcademy, we said, yes, all those
things you don't learn atschool, all those things you
don't always learn from yourparents in your upbringing,
we're going to offer our ownschool for that.
We did that.
This is our way of learning howto learn things that are very

(30:08):
important to your life.
But, of course, you can alsoshare your own school of your
own, and I think it'sinteresting to learn this or
that, and online and on YouTubeand Google, you can find almost
everything you can find yourselfin.
Everything is there.
It's much easier than myopinion.

Speaker 3 (30:31):
So the question is why are there so many young
people?
My idea is that there are moreyoung people who don't know what
they want.
Why is that question arise?

Speaker 2 (30:41):
I think that used to be in the game.
When we look at your time, Ithink that you have a generation
in front of you.
I think of that completely.
But when I look at my father,it was just the tool company.
My father was in high school.
He went to the building.
As a child he worked inparticular, every day.

(31:02):
After that he went to the toolcompany.
I still have an uncle whostudied, but there wasn't a lot
of choice.
I think that was especially forthe generation of our parents.
There were fewer conversations.
I think you did a lot more whatyour father did already and
there were a few people who wentto study.

(31:22):
They became an artist, but thatwas often in the family.
Or you became a truck driver.
I think there was also a littleless.
I think it was just a littlemore transparent.
You went to the LTS or study oryou just came into the field of
work.
At that time I think it wasmuch less choice.

Speaker 3 (31:42):
Is it possible to make it more difficult, or do
you have to make it with acertain mentality?
You asked me.

Speaker 1 (31:50):
I think it all has to do with mentality and that
whole generation of what I want.
If you don't know, you get theleftovers.
It's so simple you choose, youcan choose, you have all the
freedom to choose.
It's difficult, it's hard towork with it, otherwise you get
the jobs you're not happy with.
And the other problem is that,in my opinion, the image of

(32:15):
expectations of the outsideworld and parents that you all
have to present, I think that'sall part of it.
I think the ambition level wasdramatically lower than I look
at the whole generation, but onthe other hand, I see that we,
the generation of me, theparents of Gen Z, have become a

(32:38):
lot of pudding generationthemselves.

Speaker 2 (32:41):
I think if we look at the parents of Gen Z and look
at the burnout figures, then Ithink that there are already a
lot of parents of these childrenwho are in a burnout.

Speaker 1 (32:54):
I spoke to a good friend of mine from the week we
were together and he said I havea new job.
A girl, a lady from just 30under 30.
And she said I want to workfull-time.
We said, oh, what's nice.
Finally someone wants to workfull-time again.
So she said for the security.

(33:14):
I used to ask and what'sfull-time with you?
And then those ladies said 28hours.
And we often notice that peopledon't want to work until max 22
hours a week and that's fine.
I certainly have a opinion aboutthat.
But if you want to do that, youhave to do that.
But don't fear that someone whoworks 60 hours a week will earn

(33:37):
2 or 3 times as much money andthat he can buy a nice house and
you don't.
That's a logical result andthat's in the whole process of
writing this book it has becomeclear to me.
I thought that the generationwas a little more weak.
If you read about Gen Z, thenthe generation is weak and sick

(33:58):
and poor, and some have that.
But a very large part of thatgroup is ambitious and is
well-informed and does wellthings and is well busy with the
future, and that makes me veryhappy.
So I think there's a lot ofhope for this whole generation.
But you have to read this book.

(34:18):
I think that for a lot ofpeople, being an eye-opener, a
life-changer, can really give abasis for how you want to give
your future.
I think that the book, thateveryone there it doesn't matter
if you don't know what you want, or if you do know what you

(34:39):
want, that everyone will helpyou a lot.

Speaker 2 (34:45):
Yes, I want to take another theme out persuasion,
and I know that when I get toknow you how you think about
yourself, your thoughts, whatthoughts you have a negative
mindset, a good mindset I thinkthat for me, at the end, is

(35:10):
life-changing.
What are your thoughts onyourself?
I think that's very important.
Can you still remember how yougot into ARAC?
I think you shared a lot withPenya about mindset and your

(35:30):
thoughts on yourself.

Speaker 1 (35:32):
I think so, but I couldn't remember.
I couldn't remember.
I was 29 at the time.
I had few overwhelming beliefs.
It was different.
I was pretty much knocked out.
I thought I could do everything, that I knew.

(35:54):
Nothing was impossible.
I did show the opposite, but Inever had any overwhelming
beliefs.
I was very relieved.
I was a bit invisible in theclass.
I never had any fear of beingkicked out.

(36:17):
Do you know why you wererelieved?
I was scared to death when yougot the message from Kolev Juzek
.
I thought it was a drama.

Speaker 3 (36:30):
Why is that?
Because you see that when itcomes to expectations of other
people or someone findssomething in the class as a
child, then it's terrible.
If you have to stand in frontof the class and read something,
everyone thinks that's terrible.
Isn't that a fear?

Speaker 1 (36:47):
That would be a fear.
I never experienced that as aproblem.
I was so relieved I thought itwas a drama.
Who doesn't have that?
When you have to stand in frontof the class?
Maybe at home, when you had abirthday, the whole family was
there.
Tell us that story.

(37:08):
You thought, oh no, I alwayshad the same red head.
I was terrible.

Speaker 3 (37:15):
Maybe everyone has that, but what's striking is
that some people are stillhaving issues later.
Other people are less.

Speaker 2 (37:24):
I want to read a bit for you, which I think is a nice
piece.
Why do you think like you think?
I think that's a great questionto think about.
For a long time, yourconvictions are outstanding,
without being aware of that,especially in young years and
during your upbringing, yourlife conditions, your income,

(37:46):
your culture, your education,your parents, your friends and
your teachers.
You don't have to do anything.
What happens is that, withoutyou going through that, those
convictions are being beaten upand that's your belief, even if
you haven't asked about that.
I call it your programming oryour management system, because

(38:08):
during your life, everything isprogrammed in a system and that
management system navigates youthrough life.
Compare yourself to thecomputer.
When you're born, thehard-to-write and working system
is empty.
The management system isversion 1.0.
After that, all the impressionsare being pushed aside.
The hard-to-write is filledwith all kinds of circumstances,
experiences, learning moments,feelings and thoughts, partly

(38:32):
positive, partly negative.
For me, thinking about reads isalso a big part of the
convictions you get.
I think that for myself, when Iwas 24, it was incredibly
interesting.
My life has changed because I'maware of why I think about

(38:54):
money.
What thoughts do I have aboutmyself?
What thoughts do I have aboutmy friends?
And I think that by being awareof that, I can see that I've

(39:17):
been given money from home, I'vebeen given work, and how to see
the results of my work Science,of course.
You often see people from adoctor's family coming from
science.
You see that everything thathas to do with spirituality is
not allowed to be or not to beincluded.

(39:38):
Why do you think so?
Why did you get rid of that?
Why did your fate stop thinkingabout it?
Because you think you're good.
That's how you hear it, andeveryone has that in his own way
by the teachers, the mentors,but also your friends A huge

(40:00):
influence on your friends'parents.
And then I asked myself how doesyour best life look like when I
was 24?
How would you like to work?
Is it so boring to see?
Oh, but just grab a white,white A4, and I'm going to look
at everything again.
How do I think about money?

(40:21):
How do I think about health,what you also see very often my
sisters have the food sisters.
Almost always people withoverweight have one of the
elderly who also has overweight.
So you have a certain way, acertain habit.
You have to think about it in acertain way seen by your mother
or your father.

(40:42):
When your mother is anemotional eater, you often take
that over because you just don'tknow anything else.
What I see, what I do, and Ithink that's really valuable.
When you're 20 at the beginningand you look at what kind of
persuasion was very beautiful,what was super valuable, what I
learned from my parents andwhere I could maybe find other

(41:03):
mentors or teachers for or otherbooks to see if I can spread my
thinking field, if I can thinkof something outside that frame,
and that's what I really hope.
If you're a young person withthis theme of persuasion, that
you can spread it and when yousucceed you're so much freer

(41:26):
because then you have a choice.

Speaker 3 (41:28):
So it's actually about being aware of how the
standard is.
This is not reality.
What my vision of reality is,that's a perception that's
colored by what my parentsalways said oh good, if you've
got this number, or whateverelders say, or people in the
family, that's all going on.

(41:49):
But at some point in your life,that perception of hey wait,
I'm running a program.
This is I also have aninfluence here.
These are certain persuasionsthat are in me.
Do they bring me further or dothey not?
That's what you mean.

Speaker 2 (42:03):
Yes, and I think the biggest difference is being
aware of it, and that's what Ireally thought about you being
aware of it, because before thatI was just like that, very much
like I can.
That's just how I am.

Speaker 3 (42:19):
Yes, what's actually good, which we also saw in the
research the PEG generation thatword, so that someone from 18
or 20, who says I'm living mylife like this and that's also
because I'm in the PEGgeneration and houses are too
expensive, that's actually thepersuasions that speak, because

(42:39):
if you look at reality, is Gen Znow a PEG generation?
I know what you think of that.
I think so too.
We live in such a good time.
There are so many beautifulthings, there are so many
opportunities.
You see in the generation akind of split-sync, where you
also have a group that has realyoung entrepreneurs who know
really beautiful things toachieve.

(43:00):
You have only a laptop neededand you can build a nice company
.
In principle, that's it too.
Why would you say this is thePEG generation or that comes
from there?

Speaker 1 (43:11):
I also understand that there are instructions by
the circumstances in this timethat you say I'm now a victim of
, for example, that you have topay rent for your study debt,
then you can say that's veryannoying.
That's annoying too, but that'snot why you're suddenly a PEG
generation and you can compareit to what people say.
But you were born in the rightplace in the right village, so

(43:40):
what?

Speaker 3 (43:41):
makes the difference, why makes one the choice to be
a victim and why makes the otherthe choice to be a winner.
That's the difference.

Speaker 1 (43:52):
We described that in a book.

Speaker 3 (43:54):
Yes, but people asked this.

Speaker 1 (43:56):
But I want to go back to the point because Cindy had
that conviction One of the firstreactions I received from a
mother who bought the book forone of her children.
And she says I open the book ona page where it says that you
write diplomats are not needed.
We have a head, a piece of textabout it.

(44:17):
I don't think diplomats areneeded to be successful.
So she was very enthusiasticabout the book and she said yes,
I'm not alone there, becausethis is false foresight.
Diplomats are very importantbecause they have to have
something to fall back on.
And then she thought this isexactly what you mean with these
convictions.

(44:38):
There are only a few people withdiplomas who are successful and
have a nice life.
Most people just come into thebig middle of the road and they
just go with them in the greystream.
But most people who really havea nice life but no diplomas in
any case, the diploma they haveis not where they do something
with it, often the people whotake the creative people who do

(44:59):
something new every time.
But if you don't have thatability or you're afraid of it
because you just want that fixedsalary, you have to look for a
job and then you need a diplomaBesides, of course.
But the descriptions are alsoexpanded, they are very
realistic.
If you become a doctor or apilot, or for certain
professions, you need a diploma.
You have to study for a longtime, that's logical.

Speaker 2 (45:23):
Yes, I hope that people don't misinterpret it
when they listen to something,because it is, of course, a sign
that I am a huge representativeof that, that you are very well
known in certain field areasand you have a lot of knowledge,
but you don't have a HBO or aHVO diploma or whatever you need

(45:43):
for a diploma.
But I am a representative ofthat.
You are well known and look forgood teachers in that area.

Speaker 1 (45:52):
But that's written too.
You have to understand it verywell.

Speaker 2 (45:57):
Yes, sometimes I notice that people misunderstand
us a little, but this is justincredibly important.
It is a very big factor ofsuccessful people that they do
know a lot about things.

Speaker 1 (46:07):
Look, what I mean is, if you get your HVO diploma
with all sixes, are you not goodenough?
You only have a diploma, youget an exam at the exam, but
you're not good at anything, sothat diploma is worthless.
It's good that you say this,otherwise everyone gets angry.
You just have to be good atsomething, but a diploma doesn't
have that much to do with it.

Speaker 2 (46:31):
Yes, there are a lot of assignments in this book.
I like that Because theassignment lets you think about
yourself and I think that's veryvaluable to know yourself.
I think this is always a greatassignment.
I think you can do it everyyear or a few years, and I think
that they are alive for a lotof reasons.

(46:52):
We have written for the younggoals, but this assignment and
many other assignments don'ttake time.
You have it.
It remains an interestingassignment.
On page 16, page 195, researchwho has the most influence on
you?
Who of the people in yourdirect life environment has the
positive influence on you?

(47:13):
Who are high-performance inyour environment?
Which people can help you toget to your next level and who
gives you a negative feeling?
Who costs energy and lives asingle contribution to your life
?
Who do you even like to grow asa person and why would you go
so far with those people?
Look good at the people aroundyou your relatives, friends,

(47:34):
your parents and colleagues andthen put the relationship
between your and their behaviourBetween their mindset and yours
.
If you discover that somepeople have a negative influence
on you, why would you go aroundwith those people?
What would you do to make iteasier, for you Know that you
can and can make your own choicehere.
That's not always easy, butit's best for you.

(47:57):
I'll write the assignmentfurther.
One write the name of the tenpeople you deal with the most,
and that's why we're talkingabout where you have daily
contact with.
So on your work, friends,colleagues, family.
Two place the people in threecolumns Positive influence,
neutral and negative influence.

(48:18):
Three put the star behind thename of the three people you
deal with the most.
Four put the circle around thethree people who have the most
positive influence on you.
Five put the line under thepeople who have the most
negative influence on you.
I think you're doing theassignment at PENYA.

Speaker 1 (48:37):
I just wanted to say something good about you.

Speaker 2 (48:38):
I remember that you had to do this at PENYA.

Speaker 1 (48:41):
This was one of the first assignments I had to make
when I was 29.
PENYA is your business coachright, yes, and this was
something new for me.
You don't think about it here,but with all the knowledge I
have now, I know how importantthis is.
Penya always calls me.
Show me your friends and I'lltell you your future.

(49:02):
And that's true.
If you know who someone isdealing with and how much
influence they have on you, youcan actually predict how the
future of someone like that willbe.
With one certainty, maybe asmall margin of error, you can
just predict it.
So there are still statementslike if you hang around with

(49:23):
monkeys, your life becomes acircus, and that's also the
reality with a lot of people.
So this is such an amazingassignment.
You have 30 assignments intotal.
This gives so much insight.

Speaker 2 (49:36):
Yes, I think that you're going to go back to the
part of your conviction we justhad, and this is an assignment
that you're going to look atvery consciously and take the
time for that to your friends,your parents, your colleagues.
You're going to look at whatstatements they often make about

(49:59):
what they can't do, howentrepreneurial they are, and if
you're going to predict thatand you're aware of that, you
can also look at yourself howmuch influence I'm going to have
on me.

Speaker 3 (50:12):
Yes, and how was that for you when you said you were
going to Penya and you got thisassignment, so you analyzed who
you were going to come with andwhat the influence was.
How was that?
Because often, when this isdone first, you notice that you
have made a conscious choice.
How was that for you?

Speaker 1 (50:31):
This was too long ago for me to give you a good
answer to that, but I was 29.
In that period I had a few veryambitious, creative friends
around me.
Anyway, I'm not going to likepeople who don't like me.
If I don't like someone, I'llquickly get rid of them.

(50:53):
I was already 11 years old athome, so I didn't have much to
do with the influence of myparents.
But I'm going to make that listthen, and then there will be
some names on a list where youthink, hmm, why am I actually

(51:14):
going with that person?
Well, I might be a bit moreradical in that that I can
quickly get rid of them, and Iknow a lot of people have
trouble with that.
But it's important to be awareof that and that's where it's
going to go, because if you'reaware of that, you can make a
conscious choice, and you oftensee that as feedback on the book

(51:34):
.
We get back that people say,whoa, I wasn't aware of that.
Yes, my friends find it annoying.
Oh, there are these kinds ofexamples in books.
My friends find it annoyingthat I'm so busy with my
business.
I'm busy with the startup.
The story of the boy with thegirl.
The girl finds it a bitannoying that he always has

(51:56):
friends with her company.
She doesn't socialize much, shedoesn't really get any
attention from him and she hasthe same.
I understand what she means,but the boy is so dedicated to
building his business he likesthat and that's a lot of
feedback and I can imagine thatit can be difficult.

(52:16):
If you're in the friend club andthat happens of course with
friends and friends You're goingin a certain direction.
We often see that with a groupof girls who get kids at some
point they're busy with that,and then there are one or two
who are not busy with that yetBecause they're busy with their
business or with their job.
And then you notice that thosefriends groups grow a bit from

(52:39):
each other.
But you keep going with eachother Because we've known each
other for so long.
But that's not a good argumentto say that we're still good
friends.
We're just going around witheach other for a long time or
you still have to stay with eachother for a long time.
That's a second one.

Speaker 3 (52:56):
Yes, and then, in conclusion, because we've just
talked about the superstitionsand you say that the people who
deal with it most have influenceon your programming Because
those superstitions come to yourhard drive, does he often ask
okay, I'm a little more aware ofthis now.
How do I get into contact withthe right people?
The right people are the peoplewho fit in with what you want

(53:18):
to do, so they have a positiveinfluence for you personally.
Well, you have to look for that.
And how do you do that?
How do you find a coach?
Do you ask a lot?

Speaker 1 (53:33):
Yes, and the question of the week I ask you is yes
where do you need coaching?
What do you think is a goodcoach?
Where do you want to learnsomething?

Speaker 3 (53:44):
Yes, so that's actually the question that comes
up.
That often appears, so it's notentirely answered yet, because
if you know what you want, thenyou can also find someone who is
good at it, who can learnsomething my advice would be if
you are looking for a coach,don't go to Google and look for
a coach.

Speaker 1 (54:01):
People who are a coach, a business coach.
That's more psychological thanthat.
People really know where totalk about helping you out.
There, however, there are anumber of good business coaches
they are, but what I mean by acoach is what Cindy earlier said
it's a teacher.
It's someone who is veryfamiliar with it, not someone

(54:21):
who calls himself a coach online.
No, if I want to learn Timmerer, I go to a very good Timmerman
who can teach me that.
If I want to learn sailing, Igo to Hengdevelde, which was one
of the best sailors in theNetherlands who could teach me
that.
Just like with those voices,just like with Penya business,
just like with writing that Iwent to the writer's school.
I look for people in a certainfield of study and then you come

(54:44):
to a writer's school, otherpeople with the same thoughts
who want the same thing as youdo, and of the 10 you come
across, you find three nicethings.
If you come to MaximumPotential, you come across a lot
of people who just stand in thelife.
If you, they all have a lifequestion, a vision.
They want to go somewhere.

(55:05):
You come across people who youlike.
One of my teachers, rob, who isalso mentioned in the book, for
example, he taught me that storyof Mike.
You can sleep better in thebathroom than having the suite
in one of the Achenebes'one-star hotel, because in that

(55:27):
five-star hotel you come acrosspeople you want to meet.
Just like you're going to flybusiness or first class, which I
used to do, you always comeacross people you know during
the flight, always.
And so what is the moral of thestory?
Those people understand them incertain places that you can

(55:49):
look for.
Then the question is why theywould have someone interested in
talking to you.
So you have to come up with agood story or a good question or
the added value.
Why would someone find thatinteresting?
But look for places where thosepeople come and that are not
network thieves.
That's where you're not goingto find the people you have.

Speaker 2 (56:07):
In my opinion, I want to give you a quote from the
podcast you recently recordedwith Tuko Lopsang.
She's on YouTube Dutch underthe title, which is very nice
Because he's a bit moredifficult to follow himself with
his English, but Dutch is abouttitles.
Please recommend it.
Look at YouTube.

(56:28):
I think these are very nicequestions to ask yourself
regularly.
Where are you now?
How did you get here?
Where do you want to go?
I'll tell you.
I think this is the core of theMastermind Academy.
This is where you help peopleto go to the academy With

(56:53):
everything they do in theMastermind Academy.
But this is the question weoften come back to, and here you
have to think about it.

Speaker 1 (56:59):
These are the most important questions for yourself
to answer.
If you take the book together,this is an important summary.
If you take it even furtherback to the core, it also says
that it is the statement of Peñawhen I first came across it.
He said Tell me what you wantand I will tell you how to get
it.
And that is for sure as alittle basis for the book.

(57:22):
Just ask a question.
I know that this book willanswer almost every question.
You have Not every question,but almost every question.
I am convinced of that.
That is why it is an importantbook to read.
But if you only know a littlebit about what direction you
want to go with your life, whatyou want to do, then you have to

(57:44):
move in that direction and thenyou will discover what is
needed, who you need for that,which coach, which people.
It is a process, it is a paththat you have to walk.
So you have to get into motion.
That is important and it isimportant that you walk in a
certain direction.
That does not have to be veryspecific towards the goal.

(58:04):
But if you are really going towalk in a totally wrong
direction, then I think that youwill not be able to get to
where you want to go.
So that thinking about whereyou want to go with your life,
that is important, and ask goodquestions.
But we also treat that as abroad, just like these four very
good questions from Toolkoe, myTibetan monk teacher.

(58:26):
I think these are questions youcan think about for a very long
time, a day, a week, a monthand where you may.

Speaker 3 (58:35):
Also, at some point you get a new insight about it
and you find new answers, butthey are not per se.
It is not like you have aclosing answer in one time, that
question or the kind ofcalculation with a one solution
and oh, that's it.
That is, of course, a nicequestion actually a lot of
questions in the book.
It gives you a new insight onthe way to those answers.
Yes, you can give it moreguidance, but it is not like you

(58:57):
have answered all of them inone time.
Of course it does not work likethat and you see that with these
four questions, try to answerthem in one time.
The chance is very high thatyou will not be able to do that,
and that is why I think it isChristian Amorti.
That is a question like a treeand that plant as a seed, and
that grows and that grows, andat some point you can sit in the

(59:17):
shadow.
So it is something that grows,what you take with you and what
you will continue to bring, whatyou give new insights.
I think it is the intention tofind an answer in one of those
things.

Speaker 2 (59:30):
I am still curious for you.
If you look back now, there issomething you have done, and
then I will talk a little bitabout the period from 18 to 25.
Where you think it is veryvaluable for the life you are
now leading.

Speaker 3 (59:48):
Good question.
I think there is a lot of itand I think it is difficult to
put it into one specific thing.

Speaker 2 (59:56):
I can answer more.
I can think about it.
I think I have awakened my lovefor reading books and I think I
am going to read again throughyou and I can say that I can not

(01:00:16):
even describe what an enormousimpact it had on my life If I
had given all the books I hadwritten to you.
All of them had not been read.
If I had not met you and youhad me, then I would not have
read the power of the present, Iwould not have read the

(01:00:37):
thinking girl wits.
All of those beautiful,valuable knowledge I am going to
read again.
My advice would really be forpeople.
I hope they will discover it.
Reading has a lot of addedvalue to me and I think it is a
great success of the life I amnow living.

Speaker 3 (01:00:59):
Yes, it is interesting because now you say
this, I always thought when youasked me about it, I got quite a
lot of books from people thatbrought me to a new insight.
But now you tell me this I gotthe Alchemist of someone from
Paolo Coelho on my 16th birthday.
I thought it was a crazy bookbecause it was part of a fiction

(01:01:20):
world that you know, but thatalso gave me the opportunity to
give a message in a book.
Coelho also worked on thephilosophy of it.
That was a reason for me tocontinue to write in.
So that was the first book.
I thought, wow, there issomeone behind a book that
writes something about it thatgives you ideas.

(01:01:41):
I thought that was amazing.
There have been a number ofbooks that I got in those 8-9
years so up to those 25, as youjust said, those books gave me a
new insight.
So I started with the AlchemistAt some point.

(01:02:01):
I had no idea how it came outof it, but through the study I
was organized at the university,there were a number of
businesses that came to pickthemselves up and I met someone
who was there only once.
I never went to these events,so it was a coincidence.
We were just talking about it.

(01:02:21):
He said you have to read Thinkand Grow Riches by Napoleon Hill
.
I thought I'm going to readthat book.
That also meant a lot to me.
A year later a friend gave me aMaster of Mindset and now I'm
here again.
So we have been books that gaveme a new insight.
I recognize that a lot.

Speaker 2 (01:02:45):
I have one last thing to think about.
That helped me a lot.
That helped me a lot.

Speaker 1 (01:02:55):
I have always liked to listen to older people who
had a lot to tell.
So what I also wrote in thebook a number of as I call them
my teachers I listened to.
That is Meneer Bordenwijk,meneer Karansa and Ome Bül Bül

(01:03:18):
Verwij, the founder of the oldFironica.
That were people in mysurroundings.
I was a young man back then.
I'm talking about the periodwhen I was 18, 18, until my a
little bit 29th and I thought itwas fantastic to listen to the
stories of those people who wereso far away in their lives.

(01:03:41):
A little like before that.
The older people from the tribe, from the village, told stories
to the young people where youcould learn something, and
that's where I think I learnedthe most in my life To listen to
the wisdom, the wisdom of thosepeople.
That brought me a lot.
Just listen.

Speaker 2 (01:04:03):
I think what is now completely beautiful at this
time and what was not yet inyour time.
But I can imagine that someonewho just made that assignment
that you go and look at thepeople at your surroundings and
maybe also what your conclusionis that you don't get a lot of
inspiration from your friends,not at work and not at my
parents either, and everyone ispretty negative, and I can

(01:04:24):
imagine.
But how do I get out of here?
You can at least startlistening to podcasts now.
There are so many, especiallyinternationally, but I think the
Netherlands is full of theLotte Podcast, the End-Base
Podcast with very interestingguests.
We can at least start with thatand then combine that with

(01:04:44):
reading books so that you atleast get your thoughts out of
there.
Then the part where you grew up, maybe with parents who didn't
have that, and you were luckybecause you worked at the radio,
that you got to touch withthose people.
But if you're not there yet andyou're not at that job yet,

(01:05:04):
then you start with this andlearn a lot from that, and I
think what you said then youeventually come because you
might find something in acertain field of field and then
you go to a teacher, and thenyou get in contact with the
teacher, and then you get incontact with the teacher and
before you know it, you two orthree more and suddenly you see
a whole different network.

Speaker 1 (01:05:24):
Studying doesn't have to cost money, in my opinion,
because you can watch a lot ofpodcasts, watch YouTube videos,
you can google a lot of things.
You can ask a lot of things viachat.
If you stop there for a longtime, you can become an expert
in a certain field of field.
You can learn a lot from that,especially through all those
podcasts, listening to peoplewho have a lot to say so that

(01:05:47):
they can speak out of experience.
The only thing that you canspend is time.
So the choice to invest thattime in yourself and that's what
I would also like to giveadvice to go to workshops.
I've been doing that since Iwas 25, workshops especially
about entrepreneurship andsuccess and leadership and money

(01:06:08):
earning.
Later on about meditation andmind and psychology.
But go outside your education,outside your school, invest
yourself in these kinds ofthings.
The short metaphor I would liketo try to explain these
metaphors, the title of the bookis Design your Own Life so that
you can give your own life,your future, your own life.

(01:06:29):
We don't say life is entirelyfeasible.
Everything is possible.
That's not true.
This book is not for everyone,because whoever doesn't believe
in it will never get it for eachother, but it is for a lot of
people and it is often much morepossible than you think.
That's one If you Well, youthink it's not true that life is

(01:06:58):
over and you can't design thatyourself.
I would like to keep thefollowing to you.
Imagine that life is comparedto a street where you walk with
all restaurants, there are allrestaurants, and you are
suddenly at the Chinese and youthink what do I have to do here
at the Chinese?
I don't like Chinese, I don'twant Chinese.
I'd rather go to Italy or toGreece or to whatever, to Japan.

(01:07:22):
But I see you here at theChinese.
I'm in the wrong restaurant orI'm in the wrong environment in
my life.
I don't like it here, but Iwant you to walk out and say go
to the sushi restaurant or go toItaly or go to the bread stand.
Don't worry, you have the samefreedom and maybe it's not

(01:07:44):
directly to your luck, but stepup, stand up, walk out where you
are and go to the place youwant to go to the restaurant you
want to go to.
Then the next, if you come to arestaurant, you can read a menu
card or a QR code that you canread what they offer there.

(01:08:05):
Many people in the world say youcan't choose yourself in the
restaurant you're going to eat.
You just get a little bit of ashock.
It's nonsense, fucking bullshit.
In every restaurant you justget a card and you can choose.
And that's life.
Life is like a restaurant.
You can choose what menu cardyou want to go to.
From what menu card you want togo to, you can make a choice.

(01:08:27):
You can choose what menu cardyou want to go to.
People have the same menu card,so the menu card from me might
be different from yours or yours, shors, but within that menu
card we have a lot of choicesthat we can make ourselves.
So don't live in themisconception that everything is
shot in advance and if it's onthe table you think well, I

(01:08:49):
don't like it, so that's how youdeal with it.
That's the metaphor.
Shors knows the story, maybenot even the title Design your
Own Life.

Speaker 2 (01:09:01):
Yeah, yes, tell me.

Speaker 1 (01:09:11):
I wanted to tell you what I find a bit boring.
We live in Barcelona, and thenwe had a good friend, richard,
and Richard was a huge drivenentrepreneur, just like me,
someone who was reallyenthusiastic, energetic, always

(01:09:32):
had ideas.
At some point he had bought avery small old vinyl card in
Mallorca, in a very smallvillage, where he said what do
you need on that?
Mallorca, it's fun in Barcelona.
Here it happens.

(01:09:54):
And that vinyl card wascompletely built and attached
and then he went there everyweekend and then he went to make
his own olive oil and then hecame on board the day with a
bottle of olive oil.
You know, he really lived.

(01:10:15):
And then we had it about I'mtalking about almost ten years
ago, about what we were doingand that I wanted to work again.
I had lived in Barcelona for afew years and didn't work.
We lived on my boat.
I said, yes, we actually wantpeople to help so that they can
also live a nice life, and thenwe're going to make programs

(01:10:36):
about it.
And then he said, oh, you meana kind of Design your Own Life.
So the title Design your OwnLife is thought through, richard
.
And then we also named one ofour first online programs like
that and that program in thepast years.
I don't know I've really done alot of people with it, but

(01:10:59):
Richard lived here in thisvillage where we now also live,
and it's really hard to tell.
And Richard had a dream becausehe wanted to be a pilot very
much, so he had a flight coursehere in the village and then he
was going to fly with such asmall plane, you know such an

(01:11:22):
aero light thing, and he wasreally happy.
And then he sent me a WhatsAppmessage and then he said you've
got a pilot friend.
And that's the last message Igot from him, because he had his
plane taken private and threeweeks later he's here against

(01:11:42):
those mountains where we lookout.
He was in danger With his planecrashed and, yes, I think that
almost every day.
And he said then Design yourOwn Life.
And that's actually what thebook is called.

Speaker 2 (01:12:10):
Yes, I remember that very well that we were on board
and I heard him say Design yourOwn Life.
And Cori's was always soenthusiastic, Really enjoying a
huge life.
And the book.
The title fits very wellBecause it is, yes, what we

(01:12:37):
think is very well understood.
You know, it makes lifebeautiful, Create beautiful
things, and Design your Own Lifemakes you contribute
beautifully.
Yes, it's nice that the titlelives on.

Speaker 1 (01:12:52):
Yes, and there's something we want to report
before we finish this podcast.

Speaker 2 (01:12:58):
Yes, I see it a lot on your social media, but for
what age is this book nowsuitable?
Where do you find it suitable?
For what age?

Speaker 3 (01:13:12):
Well, good question.
It is meant first of all for 18to 30.
That group, I think if you're alittle younger or a little
older, especially interesting,especially at 40, I still think
you'll keep a lot of it, or youwould read it if you were 15 or
16.
Maybe if you already have agoal from an intense motivation

(01:13:36):
and you're looking for it, ifyou're really looking for it
yourself.
I think back to when I was 14or 15 or 16.
I was still busy witheverything.
I was pretty busy too.
I was a little bit of amoney-earning on the Internet.
I was still doing everythingClasses, books but I wasn't so
specific in looking for thiskind of theme.

(01:13:56):
I think that such a book isalso a bit on your path.
So I don't know if you have tosay well, this is really the
book for someone who was also alittle bit of a long-term now 12
, 13, 14.
I was really busy there.
No, I think.

Speaker 1 (01:14:12):
At your own right.
So I also got a message fromMehrder in the meantime.
Someone said to me I bought mydaughter from 8.
And I'm going to read it to her, but I really don't think that
the book is for someone from 8or 10 or 12.
It just doesn't.
You can translate it your ownway.
I would say at least 15 yearsold, maybe an individual 14.

(01:14:36):
But otherwise it's just not thebook for you.
Then you're too young, then youhave to do other things in life
.
I think.

Speaker 3 (01:14:43):
And you see that, yes , parents think far.
But I really want my child toread this.
It's also an interesting bookfor when you're older yourself,
and because you then see thatthis is how the generation
thinks and you really get asense of Gen Z and we also have
an investigation, a proposal atthe end, of what the things are
that we see ourselves as anolder, when you think.

(01:15:04):
Well, I indeed have a childfrom 13, 14.
And this book would be reallyperfect.
Maybe it's interesting to readit for yourself.
And I think that, yes, you havea role as an example for your
parents.
So your child is going to doall those things.
So you just get a lot of thingsfrom your parents purely
through what they show, andmaybe they also have a bit of
the answer there.

(01:15:24):
And I don't mean it's somethingyou have to be afraid of
someone from.
No, I mean when I was 8, when Iwas playing hud on the building
and outside.

Speaker 2 (01:15:32):
Let me know, that's how I do it, I know when I was
18, I could live in Amsterdam,and I can't really take it into
account now, because if I hadreceived this gift at that time,
I would have not had it.
But I did notice I had ahousemate who had been to
Thunder Robins and we were twoyears apart, so I think I was 20
then and she was 23.

(01:15:54):
It was Thunder Robins.
She was completely crazy.
And then she came home and Ireally couldn't do anything with
it.
I also thought it was terrible.
I was not interested in it.
So I'm talking now that I was20.
Four years later I met you.
You also played Thunder Robins,ellen Woods, and of course your

(01:16:16):
whole boat is full with all ofthese kinds of books.
And then it did touch me.
But why?
Because when I was studying,the question was much more for
me who am I and where do I wantto go?
While when I was 20, I came tolive in Amsterdam, I was mainly
focused on where the next partyis.

(01:16:37):
I was just on my bike fromAmsterdam to go.
I went to lunch with my friendin the afternoon and then I came
home at four o'clock in theevening.

Speaker 3 (01:16:49):
Long lunch.

Speaker 2 (01:16:50):
It was very alive in the present, but it didn't
bother me either.
And I also thought if someonehad given me a book I would have
thought, yes, fine, maybe Ireally threw it in the book and
I really wanted to give that tohim.
I thought, maybe you have a sonof a nine and you could use
that super well and you givethat to him and he doesn't look

(01:17:13):
at it Later.
And then I know, just like withme that friend who also gave me
everything with Thunder Robinswithout even trying to do it,
but of course she said it'ssuper interesting and I didn't
find it exciting at all.
And four years later I followedall the seminars for Thunder
Robins.
I read all the books of them.
I thought it was amazing.

(01:17:33):
So sometimes it's not themoment, and that's why it's
quite difficult to say for whichlife it is.
And the one is maybe if he'ssixteen he already finds it
amazing, and the other maybeonly if he's thirty.
So that would be my, of course,old, or maybe I really want to
have a lot of old.
Then that moment will come.

Speaker 1 (01:17:58):
Or not.
I would like to add yes, therecomes a listening book version.
We don't call it data.
We hope this year.
And for all the parents who say, yes, I have to tell the
diplomatic my children don'tread that much.
Then they just stay dumb.
I just think you're just goingto read it.

(01:18:19):
We wrote it to read.
I think that's an important bookfor a lot of people.
We are not from the listeninggeneration.
The listening book you canlisten to it later if you've
read it.
It's coming soon.
But I also had some people witha visual limitation who said
come to a listening book.
Yes, I'm really going to do mybest, but it's just a matter of
talking about it and until thesummer the summer break I'm busy

(01:18:41):
with a lot of other things, soit's not just coming.
There will definitely be alistening book version of it,
and not only that, but much more, but later on more Can I?
Both of you, thank you verymuch for this nice conversation.
I think we made a very nicebook with the three of us.
I'm super proud of you, supercool.

(01:19:05):
The book sold well in theNetherlands on one in the list.
I think it's a what do you callit?
A medal.

Speaker 3 (01:19:14):
Mission accomplished.
You came with the idea offirst-hand for the younger, but
when you put your mind to it,it's something very different.
I think we really put somethingvery cool down and at some
point, the idea of asking those15 questions.
I thought this would be a megachallenge, has it been?
Has it been long?

Speaker 1 (01:19:35):
But it is a book like no other and of course that is
a very utopian delay.
But I would find it very niceif everyone who is in the middle
school, in the last grademiddle school and then goes a
little further or goes to study,that everyone will read this
book once.
Thank you, Read Design your OwnLife, and then it's up to you.

(01:20:03):
I also write that in the back.
Now it's up to you I've beenthere Design your Own Life,
lives your life.
Thanks for listening to thispodcast.
See you next time.