Dames & Dragons 151. The River of Lights (Part 32)

An epilogue.

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✂️ This Episode's Outtakes & Extras ✂️⁠

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This episode edited by the Larks and Wray Van Winkle.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Here we are. It is 8 fucking years later.
That's not true. That's not true.
That's freaking true. That's.
Freaking true. It has been eight years, almost
exact. Almost.
Yeah, yeah, almost exactly 8 years since we started doing
this podcast and now here we are, the last episode.

(00:21):
Of the campaign. Of this campaign.
Of this campaign Of this campaign of.
This. Campaign the Podcast continues
the podcast. Stuff we're working on.
We're already so excited about the next campaign.
I love you all very much. Thank you for doing this amazing
thing with me. This is as sincere as I'm ever
going to get about this, but thanks for thanks for doing this

(00:43):
thing. When I came to Juniper's
birthday party and said, hey, weshould do AD and D podcast.
Thank you for doing it with me. Thank you for asking.
Thanks for letting me join your podcast.
I think at this point, it's our podcast, Sarah.
I think you've been here for more years than not.
Yes. Yeah.

(01:04):
And also like, where would we bewithout you to tell us which?
Where would you be without me towrite your names on everything
that I give you at all times? Yeah, it's it.
It really. But we.
Didn't even know who we are anymore.
Yeah, I would forget. I assume that if I don't write
your names on things, you guys will cease to have identities.
Yeah, that's. True, that's you're right.
That's so true. So important.

(01:25):
But yeah, thank you guys. I think we started the podcast
in a tough place and. Everything's fine now.
And, you know, we've gone through a lot and.
We'll continue to go through a lot.
And we'll continue to go througha lot, but I'm glad that we're
doing this together as we do because it is, I don't know,

(01:50):
it's, it feels healthy. It feels healthy, it feels good,
makes me feel so normal and goodto be with my friends and make
it fun. It's a true millennial
experience. And laughter is the most
important medicine for. So true.
Everything. Oh, OK, this is all way too
fucking sincere. What was your favorite joke for
the whole podcast? Go Oh.

(02:10):
My God, no. You have to choose right now.
Fuck. I don't remember anything I've
ever said, and I think you all know that.
I know. I think one of my favorite
moments from the podcast was thefirst time that Fran summoned a
demon. Yeah, that's.
Pretty. Special back on the pirate
island and also like the pirate island was one of my favorite
parts. I love the pirate island.

(02:30):
That was cool. This happened recently but it is
one of my most cherished memories.
Was hitting a Nat 20 while writing big drill.
Big drill. Specifically because of how
absolutely furious January is. Everybody was in the room.
They were so mad at me. That was the moment that I
realized that DND is a broken game.

(02:52):
That is, it is. That's one of my most cherished
memories. Wow.
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah.
I have to think about this. I'm too hard.
Also cherished memory is back inthe day when we recorded in
Noelle's parents basement on a folding table with a blanket on
top. I actually did have the thought.

(03:15):
I was like, man, we should have organized that.
I know Noel's parents. That'd be funny.
I wish we had taken pictures of that though because it would
have been fun to see like a before and after of the setup.
Yeah, our setup is so much. So much better.
It's very different. And very different.
Very different. Still in Noel's house though,
yeah. Still in Noel's house?
We'll never leave Noel's house. Yeah.

(03:35):
We haven't left Noel's house since high school.
We've been living here actually this whole time.
They all live in my house, but it's my house, not our house.
It's Noel's house. I bought a house but.
I don't live, Yeah, no, I'm paying for an apartment, but my
dog lives there. Yeah, it's Riot.
And then I live here for the most.
Part nice. That makes sense.
It just makes sense. It just makes sense.
Errol, have you thought of a favorite moment?

(03:56):
Trying. Like I can tell you my favorite
slake moment OK is when you weretrying to find those with the
fucking shells. Oh the oh, the oyster shell.
It was a good one, it was. So funny.
I think actually, honestly that heist was.
It was a really. Funny.
Very much enjoyed the heist. Honestly some of my favorite
moments are as Adm. My favorite moments are actually

(04:18):
a lot of bonus campaign stuff because that stuff was really
fun for me to design. Yeah, because that's where you
get to show you're like you're in designing.
Yeah, the most on. Actually another favorite moment
of mine, this is a very learningmoment for me was actually in
like 1 of the first episodes where I sent you guys down into
this dungeon and there was a puzzle that involved like a

(04:40):
mirror. And I knew go and, and I had
been warned. I, I think I'd sent the thing to
my brother and I was like, hey, can you like look at this and
tell me what you think? And he was like, I don't
understand this puzzle. And I was like, it'll be fine.
And it was fucking not fine. And I I learned very quickly the
puzzle solving ability of my friends.

(05:02):
Well, some of that too is that Ican only speak for myself, but
specifically when trying to solve puzzles as Corbin, it's
not possible. That's not possible.
I love your dedication to being in character I.
Should get points of inspirationfor not solving puzzles.
I should get points of inspiration for not solving
puzzles and being a method actor.

(05:22):
You should. You should.
You should. I'm thinking about like when we
were in the Madrian court. That's like when I first joined,
I think, which is very exciting time for me.
That was another good one. That was a great.
That was a great art. And I'm just remembering how
weird and annoying we were to all those different noble
people. I'm, I'm specifically thinking
about, I think Lord DBBB. Lord DBBB died.

(05:47):
I know, I know. And us having like no fucking
respect whatsoever. And like, wasn't that too like
the guy, like dying in the bed, I think.
Was it Lord? DBB.
The mouth boy, Hungry hand or car hook Hand man.
Yeah. What?
What was that phrase? It was off way Hungry brand.

(06:09):
Yeah, that's right. Off way hungry.
Brand Oh, that's a good one and.Who could forget all the
adventures we've had with our best friend Slug Bird?
Yeah. That's a that truly is an
absolute highlight because that was such a throwaway in the
moment. Like it's a throwaway joke that
literally gained legs. They also.

(06:30):
Has come back to haunt us. Liked when Cat made a cannon.
That slug bird owed Darius money, Yes.
That was very good. That was very good.
With all that said, for the lasttime, let's play DND.

(07:23):
The. Hello, I'm Kat, I'm your DM and
I probably will play DND again. I will.

(07:43):
I'll we'll probably be saying that phrase again.
Someday. Hi, I'm Noel and I'm playing
Fran for one last episode. Hi, I'm Juniper and I play it
Corbin. I I guess for the last time.
Yeah. But I feel like 100 years from
now when we're like really superUber famous and one of us is

(08:04):
president, they'll probably likeget us to come back and do like
a memorial reunion, a reunion toher.
I don't think it'll even be thatmuch.
I think we'll. Probably come back to this.
Yeah, we can. Come back to them for like bonus
shit. Yeah, for bonus episodes and
stuff. But I actually, well, I'm Errol
and I play Slake and I vow to never play Sandy more Slake ever

(08:26):
again in any context, no matter what happens.
I don't care if you hold a gun to my head, I simply won't do
it. I love your dedication.
Dedicate. Ruthless vibe.
A ruthless. Vibe.
And that's why you're going to be the one of us that's
president. That's true.
Speaking of dedications, we havea special dedication.
On this we do. We do very special dedication.

(08:47):
Dedicate We dedicate this episode the final episode of the
podcast. And the entire podcast.
And the entire podcast. Itself retroactively.
Retroactively. Too our dear wonderful friend
Seth, who is watching my dog today for me and has watched my
dog many times. Yeah, and will continue to do so
while we record. Yeah, and Juniper forgot to tell
him that they needed him to watch their dog until like,

(09:09):
yesterday. I forgot to tell him that I
needed him to watch my dog untilliterally yesterday.
I think no, it was actually Friday on.
Stream it was on stream live on.Stream it was.
Live on stream to our patrons. And I was like, Oh yeah, we're
recording on Sunday. And then Seth was like, hey,
Juniper, is there something you need to ask me?
And so for For these reasons andmany more.

(09:29):
And many more we don't. Keep this to you, Seth.
This, this one's, this one's to you, buddy.
'S out to you. So it's true.
That to you? All right, all right.
When the light clears from your eyes, you find yourself blinking
up at a pink and purple sky. The last twilight stars are just
winking out into the pale light of morning, and the ocean tide

(09:51):
laps at your feet. Fran.
You find the strength to sit up first, and when you do, you look
around and find that you've beenwashed up on the shores of
Rudval, which is scattered with timber and debris from the
battle. You look over to see that Mary
is awake, sitting next to Phelan's unconscious form.

(10:12):
The wings, the choker, the glow,all of that is gone now.
Her eyes still flash unnaturallygold and the metallic tear
tracks still stain her cheeks, but power no longer crackles
under the surface like it did when she absorbed her parents
powers. Mary looks at you and signs

(10:32):
welcome back. Fran gasps and scrambles to her
feet and falls to her knees in front of Mary and kind of grabs
at, like, her elbows so she can hold on to her.
But Mary can still sign. Yeah.
And she says, is it over? Mary nods.

(10:55):
It's over. Tears start to gather in Fran's
eyes and she says, Do you think it worked?
Mary looks down at her hands, and then she nods and signs.
Well, I think I feel a lot better.
Fran nods really quickly and just like, dives into Mary's

(11:15):
arms. Oh, and then Mary holds you.
And Fran says I'm really sorry. Mary hugs you and pulls back and
signs you've been out for a while.
But before we got here I I had my own chat with Yo via.
Oh. It was, it was enlightening, I

(11:39):
guess, Fran, what you did. I, I can't say I ever would have
made that choice. Not only because I never would
have wanted to put all of you inharm's way like that.
Not, not for me. So while I don't agree with what

(12:01):
you did. She pauses and looks down at her
hands, clenches them and unclenches them.
That sort of power, it was all consuming.
I could feel it stripping away my sense of self even in the
brief time that I held it. And I'm I'm really glad that I

(12:25):
still get to be me. But next time, let's tackle the
problem together, OK? OK.
And she hugs you really, really tight.
And Fran has not let go this whole time.
And she's like squeezing, just like a some kind of rabid
animal. And then Mary pulls back just

(12:46):
enough to to sign to you, and you have to say sorry to Slake
and Corbin. You have to.
Fran doesn't say anything, but she tries to wipe her tears with
the heel of her hands and wipes her nose with the back of her
hand and she looks over at Corbin and Slake and Phelan.

(13:07):
It's like you wake up next to the sound of waves and gulls and
Fran speaking to Mary. OK, yeah.
I, I pull myself up onto my elbows and I, I look around and
kind of try to Orient myself andI see Mary and Fran and I say,

(13:33):
is everyone OK? Mary nods quickly and and gives
you a thumbs up. Fran, like at the sight of you
waking up, just has once again dissolved into blubbering sobs.
But she, like, nods. I run over and I look at Mary
and I kind of pat her down and I'm, I'm looking at her and like

(13:53):
surveying. I'm like trying to make sure
she's all right. And Fran kind of like recoils
from Mary so that you can have your time with her, and she's
kind of crumpled in on herself. She smiles and even laughed a
little bit, and then she signs. It's like I'm OK, I'm good, I'm
better, even a lot better. I'm glad.

(14:15):
And then I turned a friend and Igrab Fran by her upper arms and
I like look at her. Fran cannot look at you back.
She is like completely avoiding your gaze and like crumpled up
like a little old man. I.
Crying, I shake her like a doll.She just flops around.
And I say I'm so mad that your stupid plan worked.

(14:40):
And I I give her a big squeeze and I say, are you OK?
You're you're all right. Fran kind of just continues to
sob, but she gets out. You don't have to pretend like
you still care. It's OK.
Shut up. Of course I care, you idiot.

(15:01):
You better be fine, because I'm going to throw you in the
fucking ocean. Slakes rage has been unlocked.
My experience. I love slakes rage Fran like
flops to the side and she's like, well that's where I like
to be. I grab her and I tackle Fran
into the ocean. Fran breathes.

(15:26):
As you guys surface from the surf, you hear Phelan's croaking
out. What is happening?
Are we still fighting? Slake is like a laughing and
hysterically and crying. Fran is just crying, but she's
just like laying down in the water like a corpse.
I grab Fran's hand and I drag her out of the water over to

(15:50):
Saline. And Phelan rubs out his head.
He feels like I feel like I. She's the worst headache I've
ever had. Do you feel more like evil
again? Like what?
Like do you feel like maybe likeare you horrible?
Is like a heart, a heavy burden or like anything like that?
Phelan Phelan puts a hand on hisheart and he says I feel

(16:13):
different, like normal in a way I haven't felt normal in a long
time. Oh, I want to give Felon a big
hug. Oh oh God.
Oh, I'm also really sore. Apparently I'm.
Sorry. Fran is just like continuing to
sob, but she's like blindly reaching out for his hand.

(16:35):
Oh. He takes your hand and he's
like, it's OK, I'm I'm, I'm OK. Fran, what?
What's going on? Why is Corbin passed out and
Mary comes over to you and we all?
Look at Corbin. 'S body, Corbin died and.
Mary like crawls in the sand over to Corbin and like she
feels Corbin's like vital signs and her hands glow gold briefly

(16:59):
and she looks up and signs he's fine, he's fine, he's just
sleeping in. And Corbin, you're sleeping in.
What are you doing in your dreams?
So in my dreams I want to go contact Pavia as I have concerns
about her. OK, do you contact Pavia and

(17:23):
things look in like her dream realm space where you visited
her before? It all looks pretty much the
same and Pavia meets you in thisspace and she says, Corbin, my
child, what has happened? Hi mom.

(17:43):
So I just want to give you a heads up about some stuff me and
my friends did. My one friend Fran so pissed at
her. Well like she did some stuff and
we went to the forces. Well, basically now it's going
to be magic is going to be for everybody and the gods are going
to not be gods anymore. But so I wanted to check in on

(18:06):
you because because you're like a God, but like you're dead.
So I wanted to know if you're going to be dead still after
you're not a God anymore. I see.
Are you saying that we are freedfrom the yoke of the forces

(18:27):
then? Yeah, the yoke is is broken.
Yoke broke. Then this is wonderful news.
Oh, OK. Oh good.
I have long lingered in this state, Corbin, neither alive nor
dead. I do not know what the future
will hold for me now that the forces are no longer changed

(18:47):
this world. But change is not bad, Corbin.
Not always, I know, and I am excited to see what the future
will hold in a world or the godsare not the highest authority.
First thing I'm going to do is kill Dawson.

(19:12):
Well, I cannot speak to that my child, but know that he is
tenacious and always has been. He's a dead man walking.
Well, Corbin, I think we must discuss this more another time.
OK, OK, but just like if you feel like you're dying, like you

(19:33):
just have to let me know, OK? Because like I know that things
change and like people die and stuff are like that's OK, but I
just have to know if that happens.
OK, so you just have to contact me.
Don't be a stranger. Don't worry, Corbin, I'm still
with you, OK? But now it's time to wake up.
I guess I'll say hi to my stupidfriends who betrayed.
And as you're saying this, your mouth starts moving in the real

(19:56):
world. I wake up and all you hear is my
stupid friend who betrayed me. Corbin, how you doing?
I'm awake. My mom's alive.
For now, I'm going to. I'm here.
I'm glad friend didn't kill yourmom by accident.

(20:17):
Me too, that could have happened.
That could have happened. You're right, Slake.
You're so right. I put my arm around friend.
I want Fran to know that I'm just aggressively being her
friend. I also go over and Corbin puts
his arm around Fran too, not because he's like ready to
forgive, but just because he knows that it's going to torture

(20:39):
Fran, so he does. I'm.
Keeping her in place. Yeah, yeah, Fran continues to
sob. And Mary signs Corbin.
What? I think Fran has something that
she needs to say to you guys. Oh, does she?
Sorry. And Fred can barely get out any

(21:02):
word. There's just like snot running
down her. Face, it's not like there's a
hostile presence. And there's like there's some 2
like really bad energies, like surrounding her body, but she's
been dealing with a lot of bad energy for a long time now.
So she finally sniff said looks from Corbin to Slake.

(21:29):
And she says, I'm sorry, I didn't want to put you guys in
danger. I'm sorry.
You know we love you, you littleWeiner.
Friend, as I said before, you'remy best friend and literally you
could kill a person in cold blood right in front of me and I

(21:51):
would never turn my back on you for it.
And I will get over this in time.
And thank you for apologizing. And I'm going to hold this over
you for a very long time, but I accept your apology.
And yeah, you're going to talk to us next time.
Yeah. You're going to talk to us about
your feelings, Fran. Yeah, Fran, I want to know when
you're going to the bathroom. I don't want to know that.

(22:13):
I want to know every step of your relationship with Felin.
I don't want to know. Unrelated reasons, not because
you've crossed me, I just want to know.
And failing goes. What did I do?
Failing this isn't about you. Fran significant and she says,
well, I'm feeling a little hungry.

(22:34):
All right, we're going to get some snacks.
Hey, you guys. Where are we?
As you say that, Corbin, you hear someone down the beach
yelling. Hey.
Hey. And I know the person that's
calling us is a hungry boy, salesman cat.
I know that that's who it is. Cat, cat, Cat.

(22:55):
Corbin doesn't even. Corbin doesn't even have to like
think about whether or not it's hungry boy like he's already
smelled it. The second he said where are we?
He knew and he's just left all of you and started running Cat.
You have to confirm that it's the hungry boy cat.
It's not. Why would a hungry boy salesman
be wandering through war-torn, destroyed?

(23:16):
Right, because. That's his.
Job, that's what he does, turn money to make a living.
It's it's not, it is not a hungry boy, but it is Prince
Azam. Corbin falls to his fucking
knees. Dude, he might be hungry.
And he's yelling back over his shoulder.

(23:38):
He yells. I found them.
They're here. Corbin fall to the ground before
Prince Azam and he's like tears start flowing and it's it's like
that thing where like you're crying but you're not really
crying about the thing that you think you're crying about.
And he's, he crawls onto the ground and he's just like in a
ball. And Azam goes what?
What happened? What's going on?

(23:58):
Why? Why are you crying, Corbin?
Always hungry What? We just love me.
When you were hungry, boy man. Turns over his shoulder and goes
quick. We need a hungry boy.

(24:19):
Hungry boy. All right, so you guys find out
from Prince's arm as he escorts you from the beach and several
other, it looks like soldiers who have been doing some sort of
search and rescue missions or looking for you maybe.
They come, they've got like blankets and they've got some
like clean fresh water for you guys.

(24:41):
And Azam immediately orders one of them to go find a hungry boy.
And they're like, I don't think there's a hungry boy that's open
and Corbin is. Wailing in the background.
And his arm says figure it out. These are the heroes that saved
all of us, and they deserve whatever they want.
And. So begins our tyrannical rule.

(25:05):
So as Princess Anne escorts you guys back towards the ruined
town, you find out from him thatwhat felt like a very brief
sojourn inside the void for you guys was in fact several weeks.
Oh my God. To those left in the realm of
what is, you simply vanished from your rooms after the night
of the battle and have been missing ever since.

(25:27):
The cleanup and the restoration of the dwarven Kingdom has
already begun. Under the stern guidance of King
Selmy, the dwarves have begrudgingly allowed their
allies from Estra to use magic to speed up the reconstruction,
though many still cover their eyes and ears whenever a cell is
Princess On takes you back to the forward camp that they have

(25:49):
set up in the ruins of Rudfall. In the square where the giant
doors connect Rudfall to Esadel,you can see all of the
construction that's already underway.
Lots of scaffolding has been putup, bricks are being relayed,
all the material that has been scattered on the ground, just
the ruins and the rubble is being recycled.
And you know, they're sorting through what they can still use

(26:11):
and what they can turn into new bricks and what's just trash.
So you can see all of this, what's happening around you in
the camp. Selny is set up in a beautiful
tent, sparsely appointed. There's not a lot of supplies to
go around. But it seems like they really
like broke out the best of what they could find in the ruins of
Esudel in order to set Selny up in a kingly tent.

(26:33):
And she is there conferring withSam, who is spent over a table
of maps. And they are conferring about,
you know, everything that's still going on.
And when you guys come in, Selnylooks up and she goes, all
right, so you're back. Sell me.
Tell. Me.
No tears, no hug, no no way. You don't even care.

(26:58):
Sell me looks at you guys and she frowns and says that was me
caring. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
Selena, you're right. Fran is like a withered husk,
like she looks like a SpongeBob character when they like wither
up and dry up and she just like floats forward into Seleny's
arms and hoping that she will be.

(27:18):
Received. So we'll follow.
Yeah, we follow. We follow.
Instantly gonna help Fran initiate hug, yeah.
Yeah, that has. To I roll to assist.
And Seleny just goes utterly stiff in all of your arms.
But then she reaches out one armand gently pat your shoulder
twice. Fran, Me.
Me, me, Me, Me, Me, Me, Me, Me, Me, Me, me.

(27:39):
Fran is rejuvenated. That's all right.
OK, I'm I am king now, and I order you to remove yourselves
from me. OK.
OK. OK.
All right. So I'll be thanks.
Good talk. Well.
You. Congratulations on becoming
king. Yeah, Congrats.
I know you wanted it so bad. I know that you're campaigning
to become the Kings Only guys. Well, at least for now, no one

(28:04):
else was in a position to take on the role and technically it
is mine so. You know what they would say?
Wise man once said a good king is a king who doesn't want to be
king. I said that.
That was me, yeah. I've never, I've never heard.
It but I like it. I'm wise.
I agree with it. Thank you.
Well, I suppose catches up on what's been going on with you.

(28:27):
Well, wait. We, we, we want to know.
Where's Farahara? What the boar God?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, he's in the. Forest.
Oh my God. Alive.
Alive in the forest. Well, he's, yeah, he's fine.

(28:51):
What is wrong with you? When you do that.
Go like a devil possessed you. And and Alden, Alden's with,
with Farhara and he's fine and he's fine and it's fine.
You mean the boy with the leavesin his hair?
Yes, he's fine as well, to the best of my knowledge.
There's no pause there. I don't see them very often.

(29:15):
They're out in the forest. I'm busy here, but I.
Guess they're still here on the continent.
So crazy what you just. Said yes, it is.
Perhaps you did not know this, but it is in fact quite
difficult to move a 40 ton boar across the ocean.
It was. Easy when we did it.
Yeah, it wasn't a problem for us.
Well, when you don't have. And she waves towards Mary.

(29:36):
That to assist you. It's a bit of a more complicated
proposition, but yes, they're fine.
OK. Oh my God.
So then we let Selny know what we did.
Yeah, Shelly, Who wants to? Who wants to say?

(29:58):
Who wants to say? I would assume that you guys are
going to make Fran do it. Yeah, well, yeah, Corbin's
saying that he's looking at Fran.
Fran looks around like someone will save her from the situation
and then she steps forward and she says King Salney, Wolf of
the Waves. Not my name but OK.

(30:19):
Your Majesty, I did something that I think will be good in the
long run, but I don't think you're going to like it.
So. So you explain what you've done
to sell me. Yeah, so we're the dwarfs are
going to have a magic. And you see her expression

(30:41):
getting that. You see the light leaving her
eyes. My.
God, it was for the good of the.World.
It was for the good of the world.
It was for the good of the world.
And she holds up a hand. She says I see, So in exchange
for having a couple dozen magic wielding maniacs, we will now

(31:04):
have untold numbers. I mean, but they won't be able
to do that much. They won't be as powerful.
We'll all cancel each other. Out.
Yeah, and you'll you'll have magic too.
You'll be one of us, Seleny, oneof.
US1 of us. And Seleny like holds up a hand
to you guys. She walks past you out of the

(31:26):
tent and you just hear her yell and she and she walks back in
very calm, very stately. She says, all right, thank you
for this news. Taking it so well, so many.
AJ it really. Was amazing.

(31:49):
Sam, who has also been standing by, she has a bit more of a
thoughtful expression on her face at the at this news.
And she says, I see. And how long do you think it
will take for all of that to take effect?
We didn't get exact exact measurements, maybe like a few

(32:10):
years. Maybe more than that, we don't
know for sure. But all the gods are like
ungoded, right? Yeah, the gods are not beholden
to their forces anymore. So like a God that's that's got
to kill people doesn't have to kill people anymore, unless
that's like what they they want to do.
I see. Then I guess they could still
kill people. Or still kill them.
A God that didn't want to kill people before but wanted to but

(32:33):
couldn't, could now, all right. I mean, you're not helping.
I'm just. I'm just laying it all out just
so that it's really clear what'shappening.
Well, my brother, we were just discussing him.
Orestes she. I looked at Phelan when she said
my brother. Yeah, Phelan perks up when she

(32:53):
says Orestes his name. And she says we were just
discussing the latest reports ofhim.
And she gestures at the map and she says last he was seen so at
the end of the battle, soaked inblood and wearing a well cloak
made of scarred white skin. Sounds normal.

(33:15):
It sounds like him. Sounds like a rest he's.
As in the skin of RASCAR. It does look that way.
Well, prophecies ain't prophesying for nothing.
Well. Is the skin useful?
No, I don't think. So I think it really helped him.
He was like, it's. Like I think it really helps

(33:36):
him, no? I just wanted to know if like if
we're being told about the skin because I just think it's
healthy. For him to have it I.
Think it's good for him? I listen.
I just wanted to know, and I want you to understand where I'm
coming from here. It's just, you know.
Phelan Are you OK with him having the skin?
Like, did you not? Be told about the skin because
it's just fucked up that he's wearing a guy's skin or we're
being told about the skin because it's like a big skin

(33:57):
related problem. Yeah, it's.
Not that I probably not. Super super strong if it was
full of skin power. Okay.
And it's a legitimate question. I'm full of skin power.
Palin says. I don't think I like that he has
a skin, but I. Yeah, I don't like it either.

(34:18):
It doesn't honestly sound very out of character for him.
No, I know. He looks at Sam, who shrugs, and
she says it probably still has some residual magic.
He was an old and very powerful God who was regularly sacrificed
too, so it's probably not great.But Phelan nods.
But he took the mantle of Rascar's power before they he

(34:44):
looks back at You guys did what you did.
Yeah, but like, it doesn't matter.
He's not beholden to the forces anymore.
And so like, I'm sure he's crazyon his own.
Yeah, Phelan and Sam look at each other when you say, well,
he's not beholden to the forces anymore.
The two of them look at each other and and the look passes
between them. That says quite a lot.
Is is he one of those gods that like wanted to kill more people?

(35:09):
Yes. Does that mean we have to go
hunt down Orestes? You all look around the tent at
each other. But those are adventures for
another time, and it's stories for others to tell.
The world of Avalis is set on a new trajectory now, one where
magic will pool and Eddie in theworld and the populace rather

(35:31):
than concentrate in the hands ofthe few.
Some of the gods are more pleased with this than others,
that all are relieved to be freed from the yoke of the
forces. For some this is a cause of
great good, and while for others, perhaps now they are
most face and violent impulses are the ones they will follow.

(35:54):
But as Yovia promised, the changes that will befall this
world will be slow, and you are unlikely to see the full effect
in your lifetime. However, the age of Gods is
over, and the age of mortals hasbegun.

(36:34):
By Lucifer's beard listeners, it's the last dames and Dragons
mid role. Unless like if the Q&A app has a
mid role which I'm not sure about.
But like this is the last episode of this campaign so.
Wow. That's a big deal.
I'll try not to goof it up. There's a lot of things to say

(36:56):
and people to thank, so let's get cracking.
First off, I have some schedule stuff to tell you about.
As Noel mentioned in the last mid roll, we have our Q&A
episode coming up. You can send us questions on
Patreon, Tumblr, or via e-mail. Our website islegendlark.com for
those links and the Q&A will be streamed live for video content

(37:18):
to your patrons on Patreon on April 11th at 6:30 PM CST and
then released on April 30th on the main feed for the podcast.
That release will be a week later than usual to give us some
breathing room in our editing schedule.
So if you can't wait to hear that Q&A and you want to have
the chance to ask questions livein the chat, then go ahead and

(37:38):
sign up at patreon.com/legend Lark.
Speaking of which, I want to thank our new patrons.
Thank you, Yvonne Russell, Sky Lupic, sock hop, Bejean fellow,
and Greg Patrons. We appreciate your support so
much, all of you. I'm so glad we've been able to
sustain the show for this long and we couldn't have done it

(37:59):
without you, and we're going to keep doing it.
So we hope you'll stick around. And of course, if you do support
the show on Patreon, you'll get access to loads of bonus content
like outtakes, live streams, bonus episodes, and even mail
rewards depending on what tier you sign up for.
So if you're having end of the campaign withdrawal, please go
check it out. We have some really good bonus

(38:21):
content on there for free too, so you can follow us on Patreon
even if you can't commit to a paid membership.
I also want to thank our reviewers on Apple Podcasts.
We really appreciate you helpingboost the show's ratings and
hopefully helping to introduce it to new listeners.
Thank you M and Zach and Alien Booty for your very sweet
reviews. I'd also like to thank everyone

(38:41):
who's been commenting and ratingthe show on Spotify.
I've loved reading your commentson the episodes.
I'm just so grateful for all thefolks who've shown support to
the show in different ways. There's been so many times
throughout the years that seeingyour comments and your fan art
and mail have cheered me up after a bad day at work or
otherwise bolstered my spirits through difficult times.
You guys are truly the best. Speaking of which, I have two

(39:05):
people to thank for the beautiful fan mail they sent to
our PO Box, E Glue. I apologize it's taken so long
to get this thank you out to you.
Things were a little crazy at the time I got it in our mail,
but I wanted to say I really appreciated it, as did we all.
Juniper was floor. You drew Mikhail, which I am
probably pronouncing wrong. E Glue sent us each a

(39:26):
personalized note with fan art of our characters, and it's
adorable. I will post pictures of both fan
mails on our Tumblr so folks cansee how great they are.
Thank you Evie or Astarian Arts on Instagram, who sent us a
lovely postcard along with beautiful original artwork of
Corbin encountering Dawson's brother in the bag and a
wonderful lino cut print of the Hungry Boy sign.

(39:49):
The Hungry Boy art was part of an amazing fan organizing from
2023 called Roll to Fall in Love, so you can find that on
Tumblr or we posted a link to iton our Patreon as well.
You just got to dig back a little bit.
Woo. So much to say, so many
emotions. I do also want to say that I am
so so excited for everyone to hear our new campaign.

(40:09):
I'm in love with the setting Cathas created and the characters
that Noel and Juniper are playing.
And we just finished recording our first heist which was so
wild and so much fun. I want you to know that once we
get into the actual gameplay, itis just as goofy and chaotic as
dames and Dragons. So like don't you worry there
will be goofs, but I am being a good boy and not spoiling

(40:33):
anything so Noel doesn't chop myhead off with a big sword.
So that's all I'm going to say. I told you we have a lot of the
docket for this mid role. Next up I've got 2 magnificent
personal messages from our online store.
First off, I have a message fromthe infamous Brian Tatoski, who
is always a delight in our live streams.
I will never forget the time I bonded with Brian and that

(40:54):
foxhole on the front lines, becoming fast friends forever
between the constant machine gunfire and constant
alliteration. How we kept each other sane even
after the Dear John letters came, even though that wasn't a
term until the 1940s. How we pine for the lights and
gaiety of Paris back in our old lives as St.
Mimes. How we were both abducted by
aliens and subjected to unspeakable horrors mixed with

(41:17):
speakable ones, but mostly unspeakable.
Really 7030? Even though distance separates
our friendship, that special connection between imaginary
character voice Errol just made-up and mid roll ad
purchaser is eternal. Like a hydrogen atom pair with
no extra energy applied, it is abond which won't be broken.

(41:38):
Thank you Brian for letting me do a goofy weird character mid
roll guilt free Doo Doo Doo donut.
Thus concludes this verbatim reading of Brian's message.
Godspeed, soldier, Godspeed. Looks like another message came

(41:58):
in with the ration shipment. Let's see what it says.
It's from Sword Man, and it reads to the Legend Lark Discord
community. Thank you for being such a
wonderful bunch of people, for being there for me and for each
other through some happy and hellish times, and for being a
place where I feel welcomed and connected.

(42:19):
I love you, teeth and all. And remember, Sword Man thinks
you are stronger than you know. That's beautiful, Sword Man.
Thanks for keeping morale up. Well, comrades, there's only one
thing left to do, and that's to deliver this message to
Chantelle. Chantelle, we're under heavy

(42:42):
fire. The scarecrow walks at midnight.
The code word is dare the brave.The sleeper agent is active.
Stay out of the basement. The eagle has left the nest.
Go. A year passes and we are back in

(43:21):
New Estra. The city is thriving, bustling
with travelers arriving daily totake in the wondrous sights or
find themselves in apprenticeships so that they too
can learn magic. Some have more aptitude than
others, but as time goes on there are more and more who are
able to do at least a few can trips.

(43:42):
New Estra is quickly becoming one of the great cities of the
world, and while it may never beas grand as the floating city in
the sky, it is becoming something else, something it
never was before. It's becoming part of this
world. The city is full of bustle and

(44:02):
even more travelers than usual. Mary has decreed that there will
be a festival to remember all ofthose who were lost in the
battle against Torva. There are delegations from
Ilfra, Danmar, Medria, and even Nakama.
The dwarves who chose to stay intheir little hill fortress on
the edge of Estra are housing the delegations from Esadel, and

(44:24):
Selny is staying with them. The town square is full of
merchants, St. performers, jugglers, musicians and
acrobats. You hear the Survivors ballad
played on every street corner, almost to the point where you're
getting a little tired of hearing it.
However, it is still a favorite and on this anniversary, it
feels appropriate. Corbin, what have you been doing

(44:47):
in the last year? So at the beginning of the year,
he was lost. He was wheyfish.
As usual, Corbin was left wasting away, unsure what to do
really. He just, I think he had to come
to terms with something, which was that he had no identity
outside of be a guardian kill Torva.

(45:07):
And that was kind of what he hadformed his whole actual core
personality around. And so like, you know, he, he
had his jokes right, but he was not, there was nothing else.
He had a brief stint as a stand up comedian.
Now he went around and he did jester work for like maybe a
couple months, but the problem was that it wasn't funny when

(45:30):
people actually thought he was funny.
He. Didn't.
It wasn't, he wasn't having a good time.
He didn't think it was funny. He was great at it, but it
didn't fill him with anything. And he thought, you know what?
I need to find somebody who justreally thinks I'm not funny at
all. And he reached out to an old

(45:52):
friend named Alden, and he was like, hey, Alden, you want to
hook up? You want to get him into
business together, Meaning, do you want to hook up?
But he very much was like, we'regoing to start a business.
This is professional, strictly speaking.
Yeah. And Alden, I'm assuming Cat was

(46:13):
like, no, yeah, yeah. And then Corbin went to is Alden
still living in the forest in the OK.
Yeah, He just went there. And then he went to Varahara.
And he was like, Varahara, how the beast gods doing.
And Varahara was like, they're everywhere.
They're everywhere. Yeah, I don't know how they're
doing They're. Everywhere.
They're disparate. They're everywhere.
And Corbin was like, that's not right, That's not right.

(46:34):
These guys. They're the beast gods.
They should be together. They should be together.
And then Corbin was like, I havean idea.
He saw Crow fly above him, and he was like, oh, it wasn't
actually crow. It was a magpie.
But it looked enough like a crowthat he was like, oh, my God, I
got a brilliant idea. And he was like, we're going to
start an animal sanctuary, you guys, to Varahara and Alden, who

(46:56):
I'm assuming Alden was like, we're not doing that.
Yeah. And then Varahara was like, what
a great idea, my boy. Mara Hara.
Impression. I think you would.
And then that's what they did. They started small.
It was just a couple of crows and a deer, and then a wolf came
wandering in because the wolves love the scrappies.

(47:17):
And then it got a little bit bigger and Corbin sent Slug Bird
out to all the other various beast gods and was like, hey,
you know, we should have a network of beasts, a beast work,
you could say. And and some of them were into
it, and some of them were like, who are you?

(47:38):
But eventually a lot of them goton board.
And then he expanded and they expanded and they expanded.
And then all kinds of animals started coming in from other
continents. And secretly Corbin was so
excited about this because he could commune with all of these
animals and the repertoire of animals that he can now turn
into is massively insane. Matt, just things that you just

(48:00):
wouldn't think should exist. You mean like a dinosaur?
More than any happened. More than that even.
Just more than that, you wouldn't even believe.
I think I believe it. So, Corbin, let's wait.
There's one more thing. There's one more thing because
all of this is nice, but you have to have hobbies.
And so Corbin lives in a house on, on the property of the

(48:22):
sanctuary with Alden. I don't sure if he, I think I, I
imagine that Alden is like an onagain, off again presence and he
stays there for as long as he can tolerate being around and he
disappears and then he disappears into the woods for
like a couple of months. Yeah, that's that's exactly OK.
Cool. I Yeah.
That's what I'm assuming is happening.
Yeah, but Corbin lives there full time, and there's a secret

(48:44):
room in his basement. OK, don't get perverted.
It's not nasty, but it is secret.
I didn't say it was nasty. It is secret, and if you go down
into that room, if you're lucky enough to be shown one of the
few trusted members of his innercircle, you will find a network

(49:04):
of string charting the movementsof 1 Dashing Dawson, OH.
My. God across the earth, Corbin
knows where he is at all times, and he is waiting and watching.
And that's that's what Corbin's been doing for the last year.

(49:26):
All right, so Corbin, on this day, on this beautiful day,
you're getting packed up to headinto town.
You know, you're not that far outside of New Astra.
You know, you're out in the woods, You've got this beautiful
property that you've been maintaining, lots of animals.
You receive a crow that comes togive you a message.
I have a new report on the movements of Dawson.

(49:50):
Corbin ushers the crow inside. Quick.
Yeah. And you know, you've been
getting ready to go into town. You've got your little town bag
all packed up and you know you've got your water bottle and
your snacks for the walk and themessenger relays to you that
Dawson will be in town today. Corbin wasn't drinking anything,
but he takes a swig of the nearest liquid and spits it out

(50:11):
and says damn it, God damn it, thank you, fuck.
And in fact, Dawson is there now.
Corbin runs out the door. Corbin runs back in and grabs
his stuff, and then Corbin runs back out the door.
Runs back out the door. Nice.
All right, we'll come back to you in a minute, Corbin, as you

(50:34):
run as fast as your legs can carry you in various animal
shapes towards Astra. Some inscrutable, some the naked
eye cannot even proceed. Wow.
Yeah. Meanwhile, Slake, where have you
been this last year? Yeah, well, Corbin started off
in New Estra, and Mary Mary's there and Leica are there, so

(50:57):
that's where Slake is. And yeah, likewise, it was
definitely hard and weird kind of figuring out life after
spending all this time, like, being a guardian.
So yeah, the Slake definitely has, you know, tried to be there
emotionally for Corbin as he's been figuring his stuff out.
And Slake definitely volunteers to help Corbin with various

(51:20):
projects. So, you know, they're seeing
each other and, yeah, hanging out with, like, and Mary.
And I think what Slake would want to do is work with some
people in the community in Nuestra to start an community
art gallery. So, yeah, it'd be like a really
welcoming space. And, you know, it's, it's
totally about having people express themselves through art.

(51:44):
And it's, you know, the idea is really that art should be for
everybody. And, you know, there's classes
and maybe some art therapy. Stuff.
I think a lot of people in ESTRAneeds some art therapy.
Yeah, yeah. A lot of people just need
therapy, period. But they've got art therapy
available to them now and, and Ithink it's it's a huge hit.
Your workshops, your little community space is bustling.

(52:05):
People come all the time. There's pottery classes.
Is that actually on this day, this festival day?
The little bell to the space rings and you look up and see
Namavi standing in the door. Hello.
As she looks like she has been very awkward in this.
She's going to do art therapy. And she says it's like I'm here

(52:30):
to take a class. And slake, like their eyes are
so big and shiny and they look so delighted and they're just
radiating an aura of joy and they don't even say anything.
Say nothing, just get Navi set up with like some clay and.
Some beats and I give Navi a bighug.

(52:52):
Scared to say anything to scare away every time you're like.
So you set her up and she spendsthe afternoon.
She says to you, she says I've taught you much like and now
it's time for you to teach me. Oh my God, Slake is just like
tearing up. They're yeah, they're at a loss

(53:12):
for words. And so Namavi spends her little
class with you doing some like coil pottery, you know, some
coil pottery, some, some stuff like that.
Very simple clay work. And at the end of it, she
presents you with a little red beetle figurine that she's made,
who says and she says this is toremind you of your home caves.

(53:35):
It's so beautiful. It's fine.
We don't ever need to talk aboutit again.
I'm going to talk about it in myheart every day.
I'm going to put it on a speciallittle little spot so I can look
at it always and think about you.
Not my fate. That's your choice.

(53:57):
And then she looks over her shoulder as a blur of black
shape shifting runs past your door.
She goes. Is that your weird little
friend? Corbin.
All right, Fran, where have you been for the last year?
So Fran, she started out a new Estra as well and she kind of

(54:22):
loitered around, finished up some last missions with the
crew, but she started to feel kind of more and more itchy,
kind of like she did on originalrecipe Estra.
And then, you know, she started to think about what she wanted
before all this because, I mean,unlike Corbin and Slake and

(54:46):
assumedly like a, she never really felt comfortable being a
guardian. And she felt more and more in
the group, obviously, as time went on and was dedicated to
protecting Mary because Mary's her friend, but she didn't want
to be there. So so she ends up contacting

(55:07):
like old boating buddies like. Rats Noon.
Captain. Noon.
Captain Noon. Afternoon.
Captain Noon of the S 3.5 Final Chanter prologue.
I do love the idea of Fran just having like, other boating
buddies, like off screen, that she was big.
She's a big. Boat head and she is and she

(55:30):
does. So jot that down.
Captain Noon is premier amongst them.
But there's, you know, there's acouple pirates from the Pirate
island, There's some people fromevery seafaring area.
We've been to Danmar, Madria, etcetera.
Yeah, Everywhere she's been, that's near the ocean, she has

(55:52):
been off screen making friends with the boating enthusiasts and
OK, and she gathers them all up and she makes a crew and she
also invites Phelan. Oh.
And he goes with you, Yeah. Because Phelan is now her male
wife. Yeah, he is.

(56:14):
And he he will follow her wherever she goes as he would
leave, we'll leaving and doing his own little missions on the
side. Absolutely.
He can still teleport like the Dickens.
Yeah, missions like making dinner for France, leaving.
Am I right My? God, yeah, exactly.
No. But anyways, so Fran and her

(56:36):
crew, they're like fucking traversing this whole ass
planet. And particularly like, finding
areas where magic has pooled in the ocean and areas where
there's still old magic, like old cities that have been
underwater or Dead Sea monsters with their bones full of marrow.

(57:01):
What? Has happened happened to.
Fran. Fran became Corbin there for a.
Secondary, yeah. Damn.
Dang magical Merrill. Anyways, basically like she and
her group are like salvaging oldmagic and participating in what
I'm assuming is a new economy ora new form of the old economy of

(57:22):
magic items. Yeah, absolutely.
As magic starts to get redistributed in the world and
she sends like she wants to keepher promise to, like, I think it
was who asked her to talk about her feelings.
Yeah. So she's been sending these
like, really horrible letters toyou.
Guys. Horrible, you say?

(57:43):
That are to do you guys both andlike and Mary.
Individually or is it like 1? Letter, or it's a form letter
that she makes 4 copies of and sends it out to all of you and
it's like hi guys, it's Fran. And then it just is like a list
of every feeling she's felt. So it'll just be like hungry,
sad, happy. God damn.

(58:05):
It admiring the beauty of the ocean.
Horny. Such a yeah.
And you guys have the full rundown.
And then at the end is she always writes missing friends
and then signs Fran I. Just want to interject, Corbin's
been keeping these letters and actually making a tally in a
matrix. Yeah, based on the frequency of
which emotions Fran is experiencing.

(58:26):
The. Most and at which times?
That's really going to help Franin her journey.
Yeah, I think so. Corbin thinks it will.
So Fran is just like really trying to get healthier in her
own special way, but also like. Does she come?
Visit us sometimes, Usually Phelan has to be like, you're

(58:46):
being crazy, go visit your friends because she is still
kind of guilty and uncomfortableand maybe waiting for another
shoe to drop. So the therapy is going well.
But she's trying her best, the therapy.
Is going well. She's trying her best.
So you and Phelan have come backto town.

(59:09):
Where do you think you docked? Because there's two places you
could have docked your ship, either in Nakama, which is
Nakama or Heroes Gate which was previously a tour of a
stronghold. I think we would choose nakama
both. Bad.
Both bad. Both bad.
I think Phelan would not want togo to Heroes Gate so we would be
in Nakama. Yeah.
So yeah, you guys dock in Nakama, you put a wheel lock on

(59:31):
your ship to make sure it doesn't get.
Stolen. Yeah, we do.
You remove any valuables from the hold of the ship.
Cat has Nakama improved at all? It's gotten worse, if anything.
Thank God. Oh.
Love you nakama. Love you nakama.
Never changed unless you're getting worse.
Yeah, I think that the new influx of magical items and just

(59:51):
magic in general has made that city, just turned it up to 11
probably. Added a new smell it.
Definitely added a new sort of ozone.
He smells really interesting. But yeah, so you guys.
Bailen loves it here. Oh, actually, I think Bailen
does love it because he is just so like, he's really good at
navigating the streets of Nakamaand he's like anytime somebody
tries to rob him, he's just like, oh, you scallywag.

(01:00:15):
He's already robbed them. He's like people.
He's like this. That didn't work.
That was. Cute.
That was cute. Yeah.
Yeah. He actually does very much enjoy
Nakama. Nice.
Cute. We come here a lot.
Yeah, you guys, you do. I just.
Go on dates here. It's also where we have to,
like, sell our shared wares. Yeah, that's actually true.
You probably are pretty frequentvisitors to Nakama because that

(01:00:36):
has the biggest market for magical items.
So you guys dock in Nakama and then fail and teleport you guys
to New Estra, and you arrive just in time to see Corbin
tearing through the streets, followed by Slake, and three of
you converge on the square, I assume Fran.
As soon as you see them running,you also run after them.

(01:00:59):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I'm just like, oh, and
start running. I assume Phelan follows me.
Corbin hasn't noticed that anyone's following.
No, no, you have a single mindedly.
Single minded purpose. Yeah.
And you guys come to a screeching halt in the square
where you find a red faced Dawson speaking with Mary, who

(01:01:19):
is trying her best to calm him down as he is yelling at her.
He's yelling at her. You.
You swore to me. You swore to me on your name.
Whoa. Whoa, whoa, What's going on?
Hey. Who's in my fucking city?
Back it up. Get out of here.
Hi Corbin and Slake. Hi friend is like.

(01:01:42):
It's OK, we got to. I understand we have to.
We all came here for one reason,and it's this motherfucker right
here. I mean, that's not why I'm here,
but I don't neither. I don't want to yell at Mary.
Mary waves her hands to try and calm down the situation and
signs. I'm coming up, Mary.
No, please. Please, everybody, please calm
down. Calm.

(01:02:03):
Please calm down. Dawson.
You survived. That was what I promised you
for. Now.
Survived and she gives you a very meaningful look.
Corbin, I have done nothing. I haven't laid a single finger
on his big red greedy head yet. Yet.
And Dawson gives a big dramatic side survival.

(01:02:27):
And yet every day I feel my magic slipping from me, draining
away. Soon I'll be no better than him.
And he points dramatically towards Diamond, who is like
playing for a wrapped audience, like there's a concert fully
going on on the other side of the square.
You should be. So lucky you're nothing like

(01:02:49):
Diamond. You could never be Diamond.
I don't want to be diamond. You all don't even understand
the preparations I made, the agents that I burned, the money
I wasted, and now what? I'm just going to wither away
because some teenagers thought that they could change the

(01:03:11):
world. Corbin steps up and he says I
got news for you bub, you are already wasting away.
Get his ass. Get him.
The only reason you're still alive is because Mary's still
alive. If anything would happen to her.
Any horrible accident. Don't want to?

(01:03:32):
Have happen. I'm just saying, you know,
really unfortunate event if something happened to Mary.
It's not. Going to it won't, but if it
did, you're the first on my list.
I'm so. I know where you are all the
time. Horrifying.
If you want to buy something, you can just ask.

(01:03:54):
What do you have for sale? Don't buy the man.
I'm not going to. I just want to know what he has.
Fran is also like, looking really interested, like eyes,
eyebrows raised. It's like I actually, I've heard
you, you've been making some interesting acquisitions, Miss
Franika. Don't talk to her.

(01:04:15):
Don't talk to me. And Mary, it takes a minute and
she like, smooths her hands overher hair and like takes a breath
and she signs. OK, Dawson, I hate to say this,
but I have been thinking about this and I still have much of
the power that I gained during our travels, and I think I can

(01:04:36):
spend some of it on a solution that will be good for everyone.
And she looks at you, Corbin specifically, but also at Fran.
And it's like you're. Going to kill Dawson.
No. Hell yeah, Mary.
Crazy Mary back. I didn't.
Crazy Mary, you're. So crazy.
That's our crazy friend Dawson. I'm.

(01:04:57):
Not going to kill Dawson, one I promised I wouldn't, but the
forces, they imply that there are more worlds out there right
than just this one. So, Dawson, I will extend my
powers out to you to protect youthrough the void.

(01:05:19):
You go find somewhere else. Mary, wait, Mary, I have.
I have huge concerns that this could have implications for
other worlds that may or may notexist in the future, that may or
may not be tied to us in any way, shape or form.
I. Mean we can't just.
Just, I'm concerned about this, Mary, just.
Set Dawson loose on some pork. Into.
Space. If he's here, I know what he's

(01:05:39):
doing. If he's here, I know what he's
doing. I just don't, I don't want him,
you know, going around making problems for other people also
with other people. This is my hobby, this is my
hobby. What am I going to do if he
leaves? Am I just going to go to Slake's
art classes? I love being competitors.
I love my business. Yeah, but like, who am I going
to track around the world? Mary Science Group huddle, group

(01:06:01):
huddle, Group huddle. OK.
And we're like not very far fromDawson.
Like, no, he can go. Man has to like hip check him
out of the way. Yeah.
Absolutely. He needs to close his ears.
Yeah, I mean, he has to close his ears.
Mary Science, I've been thinkingabout this a lot, and this is
not the first time Dawson has thrown a tantrum at me.
I know. Yes, I know I didn't tell you
about all of the times because Iknew you'd freak out.

(01:06:22):
No. I know that he's.
I am freaking out I. Am aware of his every single
movement. I know what he's doing.
I love that you're going to launch him into space, Mary.
I think that the only way that Ican be rid of my obligation to
him and also guarantee that he'snot going to cause problems in
the future is to do this. No, Mary I.
Don't. I don't want him fucking

(01:06:43):
talking. I'll find somebody else to
stalk. It's not a big deal, but.
Interesting. Fran, would you like it to be
you? I thought it already was.
No, no, no, no, no. Well, for a little while, OK,
for a little while, but no, not anymore.
What are the chances, What are the chances that he just simply
Corbin does air quotes, dies? Why?

(01:07:04):
Why are you air quoting? In the void because so that he
doesn't know because he's listening.
Yeah, and he saw the air quotes.Fuck Mary, I don't know how the
air quotes change the meaning ofwhat you said in any way.
Mary signs my protection will only keep him from suffocating
in the void or the void draininghis magic away.

(01:07:26):
Anything else that happens to him isn't our problem anymore.
If. You shoot him off into space,
Does that mean that he doesn't have your survivor magic
anymore? I I don't know, at a certain
distance probably. OK, OK.
All right. Launch him.
Launch him. Launch now wait.
I want to know what the method is because I just want him to be
as uncomfortable as possible. Can you like get rid of all of

(01:07:47):
his powers somehow before he goes out?
Can. We can.
We like catapult him. Mary signed.
I can't. Naked.
No, you not going to do any of. That pervert.
For his discomfort. I don't like it and all of my
discovery apparently. Corbin, Corbin and Fran, I think
I'll need your help for this. Oh, for sure, Mary, anything.

(01:08:08):
I was rid of Corbin but you should like try to kill him
though when you do it. Corbin.
Corbin nods. Corbin nods.
Corbin nods. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Good idea. Good idea.
Like good idea. Barry lifts up her hand.
She looks up and and she lifts ahand and a wet slug bird plops
down onto her finger and has like a sick parody of a Disney
Princess. And she like concentrates and

(01:08:30):
listens for a moment and then says, the rest of you.
Gary tells me the preparations are complete.
I had hoped to say hi to you allbefore we did this, but I guess
we're doing it now. That's my boy.
That's my boy. Mary nods to Slug Bird and
launches him off. Love you.
Son away he flaps, he flip flap flops.

(01:08:51):
There he goes. So she takes you guys to a
clearing just outside of town where she has set things up and
she says this will be just it'llbe just like the train.
OK so I need a big plant and Corbin I need you to open the
portal and I will direct it. OK.
And she takes each of you guys, she takes her hands.

(01:09:13):
And you guys execute this, Fran,you make a plant get real big.
Yeah, I make Plan B big. You make plant B Big Corbin, you
open up portal in the plant and through that portal you guys see
just the blackness of the void. And Mary, let's go both of your
hands. And then she steps forward to
where Dawson has come with you guys and she anoints him on the

(01:09:33):
forehead and on the chest. And she signs, You have my
protection in the void. Now go, please don't bother us
again. And Dawson gives a hottie shake
of his head and he says, oh, don't worry, I won't be back to
this wretched world anytime soonif I can help it.

(01:09:56):
The four of you. It was a pleasure doing
business. And he gestures to his beautiful
deal donkey Delilah, who gingerly steps forward and
through the portal as he jumps up onto her back and the two of
them ride off into the darkness.Wow.
Corbin tries to close the portallike before he's all the way

(01:10:18):
out, but unfortunately he just afraction fraction off.
I take the clip. Clops fade into the distance.
I take your hands and we all stand in the circle and I say
the evil has been defeated. I was about to say the same
thing. Me too.

(01:10:38):
Like gives you guys a big, big hug.
Oh yeah, Fran, like Fran, jumps on Mary's hug.
Yeah. Honestly, this feels better than
when we'd killed Torva. This is amazing.
I I, my heart, my body feels so light.
I can't help but feel that this is going to have repercussions
for someone else somewhere far away.

(01:11:00):
Not my problem. I hope not.
Well, only time will tell. All right, so you guys head back
into town and the festival is now really getting underway.
Diamonds concert was kind of thebig kickoff event.
Everybody's absolutely Gaga for Diamonds.
Still do we? Have cool festival outfits,

(01:11:21):
yeah. Obviously of.
Course you do, you all have coolat festival outfits.
I feel like I want my outfit to be ribbon based.
What colors do I need it to be? Any colors you want?
It's like, OK, it's cerulean, Navy, magenta and yellow.
OK. And it's ribbons.
It's just all ribbons. It's like it's like draped

(01:11:42):
ribbons. OK, you've got like a little.
Dress of ribbons. Yeah, you've got like a little
like mini dress of ribbons. Yes.
Yeah. Very cool, very cute.
And I have ribbons in my hair, but they're just floating
around. There's one tied around my head
like a baby. Is really cute.
You've even convinced Phelan to like wear a matching like

(01:12:02):
Doublet. Yes, he it's made of ribbons.
Yeah, it's like made of ribbons and you know, he feels a little
uncomfortable. Is it because he's an all black
goth? Yeah, but he'll do it for you.
He. Can wear the rest of his outfit
can be all black. Yeah, it's all black except for
this one very colorful doublet. And he is very clear, like
anytime someone compliments on it, he's like, thank you, Fran
picked it out. He can wear all black ribbons.

(01:12:25):
No, no, he's no. He's wearing colors to match you
because it's a special festival and he's a good boyfriend.
Jesus. Corbin's like, what are your
festivals? I wasn't planning on having to
describe an outfit again. Shit.
One more time. We have to have festival.
We always do. OK, so Corbin arrives.

(01:12:45):
He had to go home and get his outfit put together because he
had forgotten to change into hisoutfit in his haste to come and
kill Dawson. Yeah, so he comes back and he
has shiny black thigh high lace up boots with very high heels,
very, very high heels. And he's got like little poofy

(01:13:06):
pants kind of that are tucked into them.
So like, but it's just a small amount of poof because the thigh
highs are really like they're mid thigh, they're high, you
know? Okay, okay, I'm loving this.
And then around his wrists he has big fluffy like feather
bracelets that are like got little Jingle jingles on them
nice. And then also he has a feather

(01:13:27):
choker around his neck. And then he has obviously a boob
window, but it's like a pale kind of like it's not his normal
all black ensemble. It's like a pale white boob
window shirt that comes up. His little booty shorts are also
like high waisted. Nice.
And they also lace up in the back.

(01:13:47):
Important. Important.
Yeah, and then he has his boob window shirt, but it's like a
white boob window, so it's like not as stark.
I see he's modest as hottest. He's modest as hottest.
Yeah, he's for Corbin. It's a very modest outfit.
All right, it's like, what's your festival outfit?
Yeah, I think Slake is wearing like a very fun weird outfit

(01:14:09):
that's like very assemblage Y where it's like it's like an art
piece where it's made of all of these weird colors found
materials. So there's colorful threads and
there's like upholstery fabric and there's like little glitter
E objects like and beads. I think it's like a long.

(01:14:30):
Do they use like any stuff that their art people make?
Yes, absolutely. It's something that they've been
working on at the studio. They did like a workshop for
people to make their festival outfits and collaborate with
each other. Yeah, it's got a lot of
different kind of colors and iridescence kind of mixed in and
happening, and then they've got like a collage headpiece as well

(01:14:52):
that's got that kind of Beetlehorn look.
Very cool. Mary is wearing this beautiful
white dress with a rainbow underskirt.
Like it's lots of different layers of different gauzy
fabrics in bright hues so that as she walks, there's like a
rainbow that swirls around her like a me too guys at the
festival. She's taking on a lot of the

(01:15:12):
day-to-day leadership of new Estra.
Mary is there sort of as a higher authority, but like as
the one who's been on the grounddoing this stuff the whole time.
And much of Estra looks to her for leadership already.
So she has really stepped up in the last year and become she
calls herself the mayor, but they're it hasn't been a mayoral

(01:15:34):
election and at this point nobody really wants to call one
because they don't know who would run against Lika I.
Mean she has that cool eye patchso like.
Right, She's got a cool eye patch.
It's very hard to challenge her.Lika joins you guys and she is
wearing give. Her hugs, yeah.
And she's wearing an outfit thatmatches Mary's.
It's like white with lots of Rick Rainbow accents.

(01:15:55):
She's wearing like a white armor, but has like sort of
similar to like your ribbon look, Fran.
It's like a slash and puff sleeves with different like
rainbow colors coming out of. It some gay ass fucking shit,
yeah. Mary and like are going to the
pride ball. Hell yeah.
So you guys all spend the day walking around the fair.

(01:16:16):
The delegation from Danmar you find Prince Azam has come with
his wife, Princess Renetta and their baby.
All. Right.
And they are playing with Queen Tanavine and Queen Lillian's
daughter, who is just a tiny little bean of a thing.

(01:16:38):
Let's see, Alden is there. Well, he's sort of there.
You see him and he, immediately upon seeing all of you, blends
back into the background so fastyou're not even sure he was
there. Corbin yells.
I saw you bitch but doesn't but doesn't pursue because he knows
that that will have consequencesfor him later.
Oh shit. Things are going well with Alden

(01:17:00):
then. Oh.
They yeah, it's great. Seems good.
You guys see Seleny with a delegation of dwarves that all
have umbrellas? I forgot.
Yeah, it's so fucking. Funny, they all have umbrellas
and Seleny is like coaching themthrough.
She's like, we're all going to take down our umbrellas on three
1-2 and then everybody's like, no, no, we can't do it.

(01:17:21):
We. Can't.
You guys catch up with Swan Roxon, who is frequent at your
art therapy slake and he catchesup with you guys to confirm the
fireworks for the night and he looks at you all and he says, I
promise this time I've doubled, tripled, quadruple checked them
and Mary signs I have two. They're just fireworks.

(01:17:42):
We trust you, Swan. Don't worry, Swan.
Swan, Nothing that happens has ever been or it will ever be
your fault. Also like we're already on the
ground so. We couldn't fall.
We. Couldn't fall further than this.
SWAT Nazi says you're right but still.
And he looks at Mary and she signs at the same time.
He says no lanterns this time. We appreciate your dedication,

(01:18:04):
Swan, You're a hero. SWAT.
You all are the heroes, I'm justdoing my best.
Oh, SWAT. So is there anyone else we want
to check in on catch up with? How's how's my little buddy
Darius doing? Darius is doing really well.
In fact, he's doing surprisinglywell.
Like for a beetle, he has lived a really long time and he shows

(01:18:27):
no signs of slowing down. You're starting to suspect with
your, you know, helping Corbin out of his animal sanctuary and
interacting with more of the beast gods.
You're starting to suspect that Darius may have started out as
just a regular beetle, but you're not a regular beetle
anymore. My special little guy.

(01:18:48):
Do Darius and Slug Bird have like a home together?
In Slake's pocket. No, like I don't know, like in
Slake's house or something or I.Think actually I think that they
don't live together. I imagine them in bird.
It's a situation ship. Yeah, it's a situation.
They have a situation set that'san on again off again thing.
Corbin gets that. But I think that like, you each

(01:19:08):
have a birdhouse, like Slake hasone at the Studio Corbin, you've
got one in the sanctuary in the woods.
And you know, each of them live in one place technically.
Like they each have their own place, but they are always in
the same place. They just switch between which
place they're staying at. Yep, they're in denial that
they're married. Yeah, they're married.
They don't know it. Yeah, they're they're married.
They don't know it. They have a whole situation

(01:19:30):
ship. Sometimes I wake up and I hear
them screaming about who owes who more money.
No, Yeah, they're they. It's so romantic.
Yeah, they love to fight. Yeah, that's just like their
love language. Yeah.
Wow, I love that for them. So happy for them.
So as the evening draws to a close, Mary takes you guys up to

(01:19:51):
the top of the Tower of the Goddess.
The kings and Queens are below making speeches and they will
say all of the right and proper words to honor the living and
memorialize the dead. But this moment is just for all
of you, the ones who went on this journey together, who

(01:20:14):
changed the world and were changed in turn.
Mary sits with you all as the night moves slowly towards day,
and you all spend the evening talking and laughing and
reminiscing, and you watch the fireworks together until the

(01:20:37):
last stars wink out in the grey dawn above you.

(01:20:59):
Air, can I really choose to faint?
Leads me straight to you. It's time.
It is time when I survive. I'll be bringing on the free.

(01:21:20):
I'll come right now. I'll be.
Bringing on the free I'll show you.
How in the green where it sleepsback in the sunlight?

(01:22:06):
And that's it, we're done. Oh my.
God, what the heck? It's all over now.
Go home. There's no more podcast.
Oh my God. Don't say that.
Thank you for writing us wonderful.
Thank you Cat. That was a.
Music. Thank you all for playing D&D
with me for eight years. I will continue well not.

(01:22:31):
Never play D&D. I'll never.
Play D again.