Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
You guys are all my my really good friends.
Yeah. And you know, I can't buy you
all a car, but if you look underyour seats, I have a gift for
each of you today. Oh.
My God. It's a gift.
It's under your seat. Oh my God.
OK, I'm I'm digging. I'm looking.
It's way under. Your on your other side.
On the other side, On the other side, you're.
Scared. Oh my God.
(00:22):
I. Literally thought you were like
doing a bit. Like.
I love it. Mine is like.
This looks really high quality. It's from my.
Much did this cost? It cost me free fiddy because it
was from my own garden. Would you please tell the
listeners what you have under your chairs today, everybody?
I think mine is the best. No, mine's better.
(00:42):
Oh. Fuck, mine's better.
Lick it. Mine is well formed.
Mine has a Really. Nice curve to it.
Yeah. I mean like that's only.
If you want that curve, I do. It depends what you're using.
It for I do like this curve. Anyway, these are zucchinis.
Correct. Wife been given a reward of.
(01:03):
A cucumber A. Yellow gold.
Literally I thought it was like a chode zucchini.
It's a chode. Cute.
You don't need. To see one, you've got one for
yourself. Oh.
My God, that's right, there's one for you.
Too I I want to like bite right into it.
(01:23):
Dude I want this. Is insane you.
Should be beautiful and you cut it open, it is bright green on
the inside. They're wild.
I got it so they taste. Like regular kids?
Yeah, this looks. Even better than regular cute.
I'm going to pick all this shit out of this.
Oh my God. It looks like a special like,
you know, like produce they would find in a Zelda game.
Literally, they do look like Zelda, and they are.
Incredibly, Chodi. Yeah, I'm excited to eat this.
(01:44):
Yeah, I like want to put it somewhere safe.
And like in your mouth. I mean later.
Hell, then, Kat, were you going to say the safest places in your
mouth? I was.
Going to say the safest places in your belly.
Oh OK. Eat it raw.
Eat it raw. I think we need to do the
podcast. You know, Speaking of the word
chode juniper and I found out extremely huge news about.
(02:06):
The word chode I forgot. I couldn't remember if that was
with you or not. I'm I'm so glad that you found
more comedy here because this was all I had for this intro was
giving out vegetables to you guys in a showy way.
So basically Junipers is a beautiful streamer, a beautiful
V Tuber whose twitch is Jag boy.So definitely go check out Jag
(02:26):
Boy, Jag Boy, Jag boy. Jag boy legend Mark Summer of
Streams. GJGJJEGG.
Oh boy. Yeah, and there were chodes
mentioned there. Were many chodes.
Mentioned now was this in the? Did you learn this info from
like was it the chode report? Or yeah, it was.
I made a chode. Report.
Yeah, Noel created the chode. Report Yeah.
(02:47):
And actually, if you've seen that in the news recently, that
is Noel is the progenitor. Of that wow.
Noel. Noel.
Yeah, that's right. I'm the progenitor.
Kind of a big deal. So I showed Janitor one thing
that happens oftentimes in Juniper's streams.
That showed janitor. Please stop saying it is.
(03:07):
People of the chat when something sexual in nature is
said they say miss and all please explain it and I have to
try to explain it in a non sexual way.
So I heard we googled chode because I was like I can't
remember what chode means other than chode other.
Than chode and. I told them it means, you know,
like, oh, it's, it's one of those like a stupid guy because
like people like call each otherchodes, right?
(03:29):
But then I looked at usage of chode over time.
That was the craziest. That's the Chode report.
It was the craziest report I ever read it.
Was an expose and the word chodewas most used during the early
1800s. Yeah.
And it declined sharply until about the 1990s, and then it
(03:50):
rose slightly. What the fuck?
What did it mean? Lightly so.
This unlocked a huge amount of mystery intrigue that I had to
know. I had to dive deeper.
So I googled Chode 1800s. As you do.
As one professional Google, I keep her on stream to Google.
(04:11):
Image search I assume? Yeah, most of the time.
In this case I decided to forgo the image search for chode 1800s
and I I found out that the word chode is in the Bible.
Why? The Bible.
Or it was in the Bible? What?
Context. Tell me more, Tell me more.
(04:31):
Like is it? Did Jesus have a chode?
These are the questions now. Cat.
Cat, I was asking all the same questions as you.
They're very natural. Questions.
They're natural questions. Natural questions for a young
person to ask. Yeah, everybody, everybody wants
to know. It turns out that chode is an
(04:53):
ancient past tense of chide likeso there's a couple showed him.
Yeah, there's a couple. And it kept saying like he chode
with him, kept being like Jacob chode with Isaac.
Yes, it was really good. And as you can imagine, yeah,
there's, I mean Gorsch. If there's one thing I hate,
(05:13):
it's. Being.
Choded. It's being choded.
I Gorsch, I hate to be choded. Well anyway, I really hope you
all enjoy your garden. Fresh vegetables.
Let's play Blades in the Dark. Hello.
(05:51):
Everybody. My name is Kat.
Pronouns are she, her, and I am your VM.
Vegetable master. Vegetable Master.
OK, OK. I like that.
Hi, my name is Noelle. My pronouns are she, her and I
have chowed many, many people inmy life.
(06:11):
And I play Pepper. She is a real Jack.
Hi, I'm Jennifer. My pronouns are they he and I've
been the victim of choding many times before.
Primarily my aggressor has gone by the name Noelle and several
other names. What the fuck?
(06:31):
Big Noel is another name. I don't think you should say
this by wow. You're being showed in real
time. Literally, I am being real time
right now and I just want other people to be aware of like what
Choding looks like. It's this and I play Valerian,
Emperor Valerian, and he's a slide.
(06:55):
OK, well don't say that next time.
Worse, worse. I hate to see my.
Worse, shouted Gore. I hate to guess shouting.
We had a lot of fun here today, everyone, but I'm here to talk
about something serious. If you or someone you love has
been choded, you can call the Legend Lark Choda hotline at
(07:21):
Noel. What's your phone number?
1800 showed. OK.
Yeah. And.
I'm Errol and I play Friedrich Vice and I use he or they
pronouns. Beautiful, gorgeous.
So last time you guys had a lovely little down time after
your wildly successful caper to steal the Darisitum from the
(07:47):
Brightwater Collective. Successful overall.
Overall successful Valerian did get beat up by a 12 inch tall.
Little guy you could say he was choded.
Physically choded. Physically choded by that little
guy. Overlock Hess Pit is his name.
So you had to go to Yeah, So youhad to go to Nurse Debbie.
(08:08):
And that's what you did for yourentire downtime was recover from
kidding. From my choding.
Friedrich, in your downtime you relieved a little bit of stress
I believe, and you started to work on a long term project.
Yes. So hopefully that goes well,
Pepper. You also relieved some stress
via obligation, and you went outinto that dead world to look for
(08:31):
some mysterious clues which you didn't find.
Yeah, I didn't find anything you.
Didn't find anything. I found out the name of the
place, which was stupid. Well, thanks, Noel.
Yeah. Dang, yeah.
It's just stupid. All the the work that I do
putting in these things. Just stupid.
Yeah, so dumb. I can't believe you.
Choked cat like that's. Right, I'm ready to choke
(08:52):
anyone. Serial Choder.
The name of the town you found out was Hold fast to ye loves,
and turn thy eyes to God. I think that's cool.
Stupid fucking name. Geez.
It's. Cool, but.
It's really. I like it, I think it was
fucked. Up.
It's really cool. OK, Yeah, so you did that during
your downtime. You guys had some little combos,
(09:15):
little conversations about Pepper's suspicious behavior,
and I think that's where we leftit and we are getting now into
the free play stage once again. You guys have very limited time
to actually steal that memento from the Piper Lords.
You are down to the wire. The train is departing tonight.
(09:35):
You just got to go for it. So I think you guys need to do
some gathering of information here.
We sure do. And anything else you want to
do, we're in free play. So if there's anything else you
want to do, anyone you want to talk to, anything you want to
set up, this is the time to do it.
Yes. I mean, we're definitely in a
rush, but. Yeah, yeah.
So as you guys are in your room,you hear some banging around
(09:56):
outside the door. What time is it?
It's early morning, you think there's time.
Is very wibbly wobbly on the train.
Valerian's probably already up and like making food for
himself. You're making it like you guys
don't have great groceries rightnow because you have no money.
You're maybe making like a little bit of gruel.
It's. Like it's like a watery oatmeal,
Yeah. Pepper loves gruel.
(10:18):
She's going to have some for breakfast.
Good. So, Valerian, you hear somebody
banging around outside your door.
Valerian probably would go and listen for more banging and not
open the door immediately. You hear somebody outside going,
Yep, Yep. Can you just put that, hold that
there, hold that right, right there.
(10:39):
Yep, Yep. And it goes going to look good.
OK, he goes to Friedrich's room and knocks on the door.
OK, Friedrich is a light sleeper, so he hears you
knocking and he squints open hiseyes and and says what is it
now? There is someone at the door for
you. For me.
(11:00):
He's at the front door. Yeah, they're doing something.
I think they need your help withit.
Who is it? Why didn't I ask?
Well, I don't want to be ambushed, I mean.
You're not going to be. Ambushed.
It's the. Front door.
You can close it if you don't like them.
Come on, they're for you. Come on.
I'm making breakfast. I'm too busy.
(11:21):
Trying not to get ambushed himself.
Hilarion, while you are trying to convince Friedrich to open
the door, the door opens on its own.
God damn it. Standing outside, there is a
very friendly looking Porter whois holding the door open and a
sick little man who is crouched over taking measurements of the
doorway. And he's this sort of like,
(11:43):
greasy, grayish figure with, like, stringy hair and like,
false teeth that very clearly just do not fit in his mouth.
Like so sick, not like sick. Or like he's like, he's like,
he's like I'll. He might be radical.
We haven't. Gotten an ill?
He's a sicko. OK, like a pervert.
Like a sicko. And where you're like, man,
(12:04):
you're sicko. Dude like how that kind of
sicko. OK.
I mean, I think we should make all these judgments before we
even had a conversation. The little man, he kind of peeks
inside and he goes, oh, I see, OK, I, I see you're home.
I'd say sorry about that. I don't actually care.
Hello yeah my name is Help. No, I don't need, I don't need
(12:27):
help. I've got a party here.
We're just taking some measurements.
We're going to put in a Ducks door here and I think a nice
neon sign right above it, and we'll just have someone here
24/7 ready to deal out. Yep, Yep, just ready to deal out
whatever people need 24/7. Wait cat for my edification
Dutch door? Is that like like windows like?
That's like when the door opens on the top half and the bottom
(12:49):
half separately. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So so basically putting in a shop window where your front
door is. Who will be manning this spot,
do you know? Probably with some of our, you
know, lower rung members, some shopkeeping types.
I don't know. I don't, I don't, I'm not in
charge of scheduling. OK, Gosh, nervous about that
(13:10):
baby? Well that is fine.
Good about your work. Have a good morning, Let me
know. If you want some gruel.
I'm going to need to take out some of this horseshit,
everyone. It's.
Just no it. Reminds everybody of the old
fortune time. No.
You will have to fight me. And Friedrich burst out of his
door and he says that's where you draw the Oh, good Lord, what
(13:33):
are you wearing? I'm wearing a shirt and there's
a nice vest. I got it.
Not you, not from my mom. Valerian, what are you wearing
so. Valerian is wearing his normal
bed clothes, and those are kind of like imagine chaps, OK, but
(13:57):
they're made of like kind of sheer tights material, so you
can kind of see through him. His groin is covered.
By what? Barely.
Barely. It's by like kind of a it looks
somewhat Speedo esque. I would say AG string panty.
A panty, but he is wearing a robe.
(14:19):
A. Sheer robe?
Yeah, I was going to say the robe covers a lot.
Green robe that is completely sheer atop his outfit that he's
wearing. Yeah.
So basically nothing. He's basically wearing clothes
that are completely see through.They're suggestions of clothes.
They're suggestions of clothes. He's wearing the ghost of
(14:40):
clothes. So my question is I have a
question here is where did valerian get this?
He was wearing it under his Ratcatcher uniform.
That was that was my conclusion that I was going to be forced to
come to. How many more dark surprises are
you going to pull out of that? You have no idea.
You have no idea. Anyway.
(15:02):
Well, Friedrich is, I think. Turning aneurysm.
Turning to stone over there. Yeah, yeah, a pillar of salt.
Yeah, a pillar of salt there in the corner.
I love that the man at the door had no reaction to what he was
wearing. No, this man has seen
everything. Yeah, he loves it.
I love that. The man has charges to the party
we can maybe take out and you can frame it here.
(15:23):
We can see just all those horse things.
We'll just take those. No, no, no, no, no.
I want. To be clear, the horses.
Stay. You'll have to take that up with
the boss. And he says that the horses
remind everybody of the old fortune teller.
Who cares? We don't want to think about it.
It's all really sad, we all really.
Like him with the horses. What is wrong with you?
(15:43):
We don't do that sort of thing around here.
I know you're new. We don't.
The horses stay. And and.
Paper I know she will back me upon.
Paper out, fully dressed are. You in your.
Pajamas. No, she's fully dressed, as if
she was just waiting behind the door.
She comes out and she's like, hi.
What are you doing in there? I was sleeping in that.
(16:08):
What's going on? Friedrich has his hands over his
eyes and he's. Friedrich, are you OK?
I'm fine. That pepper, they're trying to
get rid of the horses. Eddie Pepper, what they're
trying to do is seize our property and turn it into some
sort of 24 hour pleasure den. And in his only objection
(16:28):
apparently is about the decor. Pepper looks around and she's
like no, don't turn it into a 24hour pleasure den.
Oh no, that would be really bad.I have no qualms about it being
a pleasure then that's fine. You don't want any privacy.
Get us a pleasure then. Don't get rid of the weird horse
decor that would. Oh no, I would be really sad.
(16:51):
No, yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Be better. I listen, I just have my order
and should take down the horse decor.
In. Order I'm not.
Gonna do it, won't let you do it.
Well, gestures to the Porter andthe foreigner says hi.
As there is currently no writtencontract, I cannot enforce
(17:12):
things one way or the other. However, I would ask that this
does not resort to violence, otherwise we will have to
retaliate. There won't be any violence.
It's not the violence to tie somebody up, right?
Yes, it is violent. That's violent, Yes.
I'm not even like harping him orpolicing him or I want.
You to do it. Yeah, What if they're into it?
What if he likes it? What if he likes it?
(17:34):
Mr. Sticko, would you like to betied up?
Name is Sticko. Sticko the sicko.
And sticko because I really don't want to be tied up.
I'm a. Claustrophobic.
You can barely hear what he's saying with those big teeth, so
he probably who's to say what he's?
My mother made me these teeth. She made them for you.
(17:55):
My mom made my teeth for me too.Luck and you'll have to take all
this up with the boss I I'm justhere to measure the door and to
get it reinstalled with the Dutch door so we can get.
OK, we'll do that and leave the horses alone.
We'll talk to the boss. Listen, it's on your head.
Don't touch the horses. And Sticko looks between you and
(18:18):
the Porter and then seems to make a calculation and come to a
decision and goes, all right, all right, I'll just make a list
of the horse Decor that we'll take down so that I can shot me
some. That list will be destroyed by
the end of the day. I I will burn it than your body
with it. Sticko looks at the Porter.
He says please refrain from threats of violence or else we
(18:39):
will have to retaliate. Amazing diplomacy, great
negotiation over there, and he still has his hand over his
eyes. Anyway, your next step is going
to have to be that you need to gather some information here.
So what is going to be your first information gathering
goal? 1st, we need to figure out where
the artifact is. Valerian could probably take the
(19:02):
Daricetum and the complaint about the horses being removed
to the Piper wards and use that as an opportunity to learn about
some of the people who are therestationed at the base and
everything. And actually, maybe we can all
go just so like we can all gather information because
that's where we need most of theinformation from.
Sure. Anyways.
All right, so you guys head backto the Rat Scurry Club, and it
(19:27):
is more or less exactly the sameas the first time you visited.
There is music playing that is kind of uncomfortable to listen
to, but it does have like a cooldriving beat and it's kind of
doing something funky with its harmonies that like Pepper.
You can appreciate it. Friedrich, it sounds like noise
to you. And this is their base of
operations. Yeah, this is their base of
(19:47):
operations. This is their club, the Rat
Scurry to remind you guys this place is a sort of cavernous
space with like box seats that can be reached by ladders, but
it is very vertically oriented it's.
Like the organization 13 room a little.
Bit yes, I'm putting that in my notes.
But dark. But dark, but dark.
And they're sort of like neon lights.
(20:08):
And there's all these little ratways on the wall where there are
rats scurrying around the club, hence the name.
On the ground floor there is some gambling and there's a bar.
There's a bartender there who's pouring a very fluorescent
drinks that are glowing in the neon light.
And above it all, in the highestbox, sits the Rat King himself,
(20:33):
Basil Rat Missy, what do you do?Pepper wants to get a drink and
check out the rats. OK, so Pepper, you approach the
bar and the bartender behind looks up and he says, what can I
get for you? And as you sort of look him
over, you notice that his bottomhalf is goat.
(20:54):
Hell yeah. Cool.
Hot. So he's like a.
Seder. Seder.
Yeah. Fuck yes.
OK, yeah. Pepper doesn't blink an eye at
that, but she says give me your finest, cheapest drink, please.
Finest and cheapest, Yes, I think that would be.
And he turns around and pulls down a fluorescent blue bottle.
(21:18):
And it's kind of like a curvy bottle, the kind that like you
would see at home goods filled with like oil and olives that's
never opened. I don't know.
This is a very specific bottle into my mind.
I know exactly what you're talking.
About. Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, You know what? I'm not, I know exactly the
bottle. It kind of looks like exactly
like that, except it is filled with a fluorescent blue liquid
clothes in the black lights and he pours you a tiny little like
(21:40):
thimble sized shot from it says all right, here you go.
That'll just be mixed coinage. Oh OK I hand it over right cuz
that doesn't count as like our mixed.
Coinage does not. When I say mixed coinage, that
means money does not matter. Yeah, yeah, yeah, cuz it's
cheap. Yeah.
And we get a little bit just for, like, being on the train,
right? Yeah.
OK. Pepper hands it over and she
says I'll just sip on this. And then she takes her little
(22:04):
thimble and she goes to to examine the rats.
Yeah. And as you take a little sip of
that thimble, it's like a electric shock that goes up from
the base of your spine. It truly it's like the feeling
of licking a battery pepper. What action would you like to
use here to gather some information?
OK, I think she wants to somehowmake contact with the rats.
(22:28):
I mean, I think like these are like semi magical rats, or at
least influenced by magic. Yeah.
So perhaps I don't want to consort with the rats
themselves, but rather. Want to get a read on the rats?
I want well is there any way I can like influence the magic
that influences them or like more than influence?
(22:48):
What I mean is like like get information from them so like.
I think this is gonna be some sort of an occult roll.
Well, yeah, I'll be a tune. A tune?
Yeah. Roll me a tune and I'll tell you
what information you can get from a tuning to examine the
rats. A tune.
A tune with the rats. A tune with the rats all.
Right, so I am going to push myself to get an extra dice
because I only have one in a tune, OK.
(23:10):
And if you're a tuning, Friedrich's going to want to
stick by you because he wants toobserve.
You're right man, I can't believe you're carrying that
loot around all the time and yetyou can't carry a tune.
I see. I got it.
I got. It.
I got it. I got it.
I got it. I got it.
(23:31):
There you go. All right.
So I got a four. OK, so you get a standard amount
of information. So as I'm like examining the
rats, I'm kind of reaching out with tendrils of magic as I kind
of hum to myself along to the beat of the music and add in my
(23:51):
own little trills and such. I'm trying to tap into their
little like weird magic ghost network that I they they must
have since they're like togetherwith Rat Missy and also any
other ghosts that are in the vicinity.
Sure. So as you are, your sort of site
shifts into that ghost site. And Friedrich, as you are there
(24:12):
trying to measure things, you donotice temperature drops around
Pepper. There's a temperature drop.
So there's your empirical evidence that something is
happening. And Pepper, you see these rats
and it's like they're moving around on, you know, when you
were a child at the doctor's office and they had that little,
like, play thing where it was like a piece of wire with blocks
(24:34):
on it. Yeah, and they're a bunch of
wires. And there's a bunch of wires
like that. That is the rats.
The rats are the blocks on thosewires.
All those wires go back up to the box where the rat came is
sitting. So they are all connected to him
and it seems that they are all running errands that are like
they're on a track, you know, like he has.
He has sent them out to do certain things and they don't
(24:57):
deviate from that track. So that's what you're able to
see. In terms of ghosts, this place
is chockablock with. Ghosts.
There are tons of ghosts here. You've seen these kind of ghosts
around before and you're not really sure what the deal is
with them, but they're very wispy, like there's not much
left to them. They're just sort of a very sort
(25:18):
of smeared imprint of a person. And you do see as you are
watching, looking around, you see a few of these ghosts are
crowding around. The bartender who I mentioned,
his name is Nemo. So they are all sort of
clustering around Nemo and occasionally one will sort of
tug him towards the backroom andhe sort of like shakes it off
(25:41):
unconsciously. They're tugging him towards the
backroom. Yeah, like the back office.
What's their vibe when they do that?
You can't tell. Like I said, they're just sort
of like a very smeared impression.
Like visually it's like an oil painting of a person that
somebody like brushed against itas it was drying.
So it's just like a a smear of aperson.
(26:02):
OK, interesting. So there's something going on
with the backroom is one thing Ifind out.
And then also all these rats arestill part of rat Missy, Like,
so if we were going to separate out the rats, we'd have to take
them a lot farther than this is,is one thing that I'm getting
from this. Yeah.
Well, we could potentially, and I hate to say this.
Are you making a plan? Don't make a plan.
(26:22):
Never mind. I'm going to turn this mid roll
into my personal diary and, and,and I'm just going to speak from
the heart. When Riot was a little baby I
blew a Raspberry on his belly and it really hurt him.
(26:45):
It really stuck with him for a for his whole life.
To this day you can't make a Raspberry noise or a fart noise
without him becoming extremely upset.
Like wide eyed, wild. He'll pounce on you.
It's a huge trigger for him and sometimes he will fart really
(27:06):
loud and he gets so mad at his own butt because it made a
Raspberry noise at him. And he did that tonight and it
was just beautiful. It was just beautiful.
And that's that's my truth. That's what's in my heart
(27:27):
tonight. And with that, I think I'll
begin the mid roll. 1st, we havesome news.
There is a new print in the store.
It is the shimmery, shimmery, shiny, beautiful, never know
where cover art designed by our beautiful, wonderful, extremely
talented arrow. And that is currently up for
sale in our store. And there's going to be another
(27:48):
print soon, for sure coming pretty soon as well.
And then also, of course, don't forget if you're a patron on our
Patreon at a certain tier, I think it's the highest tier that
we have actually, you're making Buku bucks and you're a
full-fledged high tier Patreon member of our Patreon.
You will get a Christmas gift this year because we do send out
Christmas gifts every year. We mail out the Christmas gifts
(28:10):
and they, I mean, they're cool every year.
Like I'm always like, oh, fucking Christmas gifts rule.
But this year, like they're really good.
And obviously after Christmas, they will also go out for sale
in our store. I'm not going to tell you what
they are because it's a surprise.
It's a surprise for U.S. specialpatrons, but I like them this
year also, of course, designed by our beautiful Errol, our
wonderful merchandise master andpostmaster and postmanger.
(28:34):
Anyways, I also have to thank our new patrons.
Thank you, Christian and Tran Alex Church, Gonzalez Church,
very cool. Thank you all three of you, all
three of You Beautiful new patrons for joining our Patreon.
I hope that you have a good timethere.
(28:54):
There is a ton of really cool stuff on our Patreon.
So I hope you guys have a just eat your little hearts out for
all that content. And if anybody else wants to
join, there's lots of outtakes. I even in fact myself have some
outtakes from this very episode that I need to.
Upload. I'm going to see if I can do a
schedule, so maybe they'll come out when this episode comes out
(29:18):
on Patreon. Would that be cool?
Wouldn't that be sexy of me if Ifigure out how to do that?
By the time you hear this, you'll know whether or not I was
sexy and figured out how to do that.
I have to choose a smart commentyou respond to from the most
recent episode. I have to respond to a Spotify
(29:39):
comment. What?
Is a smart. Got to look it up.
Legendlark.com. Nope, there we go.
It's not on the website, it's onSpotify.
It's on Spotify. What's the newest episode?
I listened to this recently. I just.
Listened to this. I just listened.
To this episode. This episode is, and then we're
(29:59):
12, which makes sense because this episode's number 13, it's
the next one. It's going, we're out.
It's called double crassers and crass, and let's see what people
said about it. I was supposed to pick one
comment to respond to, but there's a couple that made me
laugh. One of them was Wisconsin
mentioned, but at what cost fromprobably Josh.
(30:20):
I'm sorry, buddy, I'm so sorry. And then LGL Legion for life
from Sapphic. I got to shout that one out
because if you know, you know and you guys will all know
eventually, but if you know, youknow.
Also can't wait to learn more about Pepper's coat and the
whole search. Milo.
Me too. Me too.
All right, I did I I gave you guys like 5 bonies.
(30:41):
I gave you all 5 bonies on that one, So you're welcome.
I'm I'm going to get I'm going to have to pay.
I'm have to pay for that in blood later.
The the other larks are going tothey're going to they're going
to let me they're going to let me as in blood let me and
they're going to drain me of my black acre icor.
They're going to drain me of my black icor.
It just seems like it should be icor.
(31:03):
I don't know. Anyways, I know it's not like I
don't say anything. I know it's not OK.
We don't have to talk about it. I know it's I core, but like it
just seems like so much more to pronounce.
It's like Ike Moore and Icker. Just it just rolls off the
tongue. If you want to hear more of
that, you should follow us on our social medias Legend, Lark
(31:26):
Pot on Tumblr, Blue Sky, Instagram, Reddit, TikTok,
YouTube, et cetera. And there is a fan run discord
that is awesome and writes special fan fictions that you
can only access on the discord. And sometimes there are shy
people who only post art on the Discord and it has to be sent to
me through a chain of individuals.
(31:46):
And it's beautiful when I see it.
Follow us on all those social medias and join the Discord.
And if you follow us on YouTube,you will also be Privy to
Riverdale Roulette, which we stream every other Monday.
And that's it. It's exactly what it says in
Latin. We watch Riverdale in a random
order and then tell each other about it.
We make slideshows and stuff. There's one this it's not this
Monday, it's this Monday for me.You guys, I don't know when it's
(32:09):
going to be for you. It's not going to be this Monday
for you probably, but for me it's this Monday.
And also one more thing that youcan do, if you so choose, is to
purchase a ad or personal message from our store at a
legend lark dot store. You can do that.
And they're just so happens to be 1A Liz a very evening.
(32:31):
There is an ad to read and I'm going to read it.
It's a It's a It's a It's an ad for the Adventurers Codex.
It's a cool tool to help you manage your DND games.
Players can use Adventurers Codecs to track HP, spell slots,
weapons, items, companions, and more in one convenient place.
(32:58):
The Adventurers codecs even tracks your short and long rests
and resets your magic items at dawn.
DMS can use Adventurers Codecs to build campaigns to rack
player progress, manage initiative, share pictures and
(33:19):
text with the party, and even use built in suggestion tools to
help craft encounters. Adventurers Codecs has been
around for over 9 years and is acommunity funded project.
The tool is free to use, so check it out.
Go to Adventurers Codecs codex.com and sign up.
(33:42):
When you sign up, be sure to tell them that Legend Lark sent
you. That's a Venturer's codex.com
Adventurers spelled the normal way.
Codex spelled the normal way. No hyphens or dots.
Adventurers ADVENTURERCODE xa dot COM Thank you Adventurers
(34:07):
Codex for taking this ad spot from us.
We appreciate it and you guys should go check out the
Adventurers Codex because it sounds like a really nice tool.
Honestly, I'm going to recommendthat to my my buddies who also
run various campaigns and thingsand games.
Not for public consumption. Not to say that it's
(34:29):
inappropriate, I guess I don't know.
I'm not there, I'm not in their party.
Maybe they, maybe it is. I don't know what they do.
Last but not least, never least,my girlfriend Chantelle, I have
a message for you and the messages are the messages.
(34:57):
Where you been, Luca? The the agent, Sleeper agent.
The sleeper agent is active. Go get out of here.
Goodbye. Well, Valerian sees Pepper
(35:23):
getting that drink and he's like, I'm thirsty.
So I think he's also going to goover there.
OK. Then he goes over and you see
Nemo the Seder. He turns towards the back office
and then he sees you coming up and he turns back towards you
and he says, I think I recognizeyou.
You were here the other day. Do you want a drink before you
meet with the boss? I recommend it.
I I would love that. Don't let me stop you from you'd
(35:45):
look like you needed to go do something.
No. And he sort of rushes away,
something invisible on his face,and he says no, no, don't worry
about it. That's.
From across the club, Pepper's like you can go do it.
We can wait. Don't stop another country I
have all day. Oh, well, it's I'll get you.
I'll get you, I'll get you your drink first.
What can I? What can I get for you?
(36:06):
And I'll have what she had. All right, do you want the
cheapest? Yes, please.
Very good. And he gives you another little
thimble full of this weird blue liquid.
Valerian downs it in one shot. Valerian, you feel like from the
tips of your toes all the way. It's like a Ghibli character
when they get shocked and it's like you feel like a.
Little cattail poops. Out.
Yeah, your cattail poops out. And you do feel a little bit
(36:29):
strange, like it's this stuff does something.
Pepper stopped drinking, by the way.
She took her little sip and thatwas enough for her.
That is an interesting drink, I've not had like that before.
Yeah, we learned the distilling process.
I don't remember how many back. It'll take the hair off your
chest or put hair on your chest if you don't have that.
(36:51):
Is in it. God, don't ask me.
I love to hear that. Please take care of your
business, we will wait here. He glances back towards the
backroom and then sort of shop trot.
I was going to say. He shuffles off, but no, he's
got hooves. He trucks.
He clops. Just, like as he's going in
there. Pepper has, like, her spirit
(37:13):
eyes on all these rats, right? Are any of them in the backroom?
Oh, yeah, lots of them. OK, Like, especially a lot.
No. OK, but they're like, going
everywhere. Yeah, they're just going.
They're going in and out of there.
As you're following with your spirit eyes, with your normal
eyes, you do see there are like mouse holes carved into the
walls of. Course, yeah.
And Valerian wants to listen andwatch whatever he does back
(37:33):
there, I think. You're going to need to make an
action for this. OK, what am I rolling?
Great question. You tell me.
Probably survey. You're right.
Yeah. OK, hold on.
That is a 2. That's a 2 limited.
You get limited information fromthat cat.
So you are watching, you are listening, you are looking, you
are tingling. I'm tingling your.
(37:54):
Whole body is. Tingling.
I am tingling. You see Nemo go into the
backroom and come back out just a minute later and he is rubbing
his nose. He.
Did drugs. I wonder why the ghosts?
Like it? So they wanted him to go back
there and do something. That's fucking weird.
Yeah, and he did something with his nose.
Correct, Correct. You restated exactly what
(38:15):
happened. Well done.
Well done. Well, now when he's left the
backroom, maybe we could go lookwhat's in there.
Well, I think it's like behind the bar.
Would that be kind of very, veryweird?
Oh, so then one of us needs to distract him.
Do you want to try to sneak backthere?
Why not? Yeah, OK.
And says I have what has been requested of me to procure.
(38:36):
Oh, great. I'm sure the boss will be happy
to hear that. I think he's just finishing up a
meet. And as he breaks off in the
middle of that sentence, you seesomebody thrown out-of-the-box
violently, and they land on in the middle of the dance floor.
And he goes, yeah, his meeting'sdone.
Wonderful. Would you mind showing me the
(38:57):
way? I'm, I'm, I'm not very good on
ladders, but I can. Yeah, I can.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you my friend.
Yeah, yeah. Cat is this place like is it
full right now? It's not very full.
OK, but there's like people around mingling and.
(39:18):
Yeah, there's people. There's like a very small crowd
on the dance floor who are now dancing around this body.
Yeah, Pepper's. Pepper's gonna go join them.
Nice, OK Valerian gives Friedrich A meaningful look as
he walks away with this beautiful seder.
Friedrich gives back an angry little look.
Like I know. Valerian smiles at him.
(39:39):
Literally just go, don't even ask.
All right, Friedrich, what are you going to do?
Yeah. So I mean, I definitely want to
try to sneak in to look at what's going on in that
backroom. OK, what are you going to use?
What is the action you were using for this my friend?
I will use prowl. You're prowling.
(40:00):
You're straight prowling. Look prowling.
No, I wouldn't say straight. You're gay prowling.
You're queer prowling. So I have one point in probable.
Does that just mean I roll one dice?
One dice my friend, let. Me think I feel like we haven't
gathered very much information. Maybe I should push?
Myself, I can help to give you an extra dice and that takes one
stress right Count. Yeah, OK, so I'll spend one
stress and Pepper, she's dancingaround and she's like trying to
(40:24):
get eyes on this ghost. And in service of that, and in
service of distracting everyone,she pulls out her lute and
starts like loudly playing alongwith the background music,
adding her own little twist on it, and tries to get up on
anything that is similar to a stage so that people are
distracted. All right, we are distracting
(40:45):
people by being better than the band.
Yeah. Hell yeah.
All right, Friedrich. Here we go.
Give it a shot, you can do it. That's 26 then.
Friedrich is about to understandeverything about Friedrich.
Is about to ascend to godhood. Well, what Friedrich does.
(41:07):
Friedrich, you are slippery likea little eel.
Slip right in. Like a Leech.
Like a little Leech and you you slip right into that backroom.
On the inside of the door, there's a little table with a
little blue vial and a little razor blade and the remains of a
line of drugs that have just been done.
(41:29):
So that is like right behind thedoor.
Yeah. So you can see what Nemo was
doing back here. There's, like, some crates of
drinks and stuff like that, various drugs that they are
selling. So lots of inventory is back
here. And there is a big Gray safe.
OK, that looks very secure, veryimposing, magneted to the front
(41:50):
of the safe with a magnet that says Yosemite National Park.
What? Yeah.
That that exists. OK, in.
Every world. I mean Nurse Debbie.
Yeah, Nurse Debbie comes right. Yeah.
So there's a note that says transport today.
Chomp. Hurley Memory Vault, 3:00 PM.
(42:12):
So the artifact is in that safe.Presumably yes.
OK, so chomp. And we don't know Hurley, right?
We don't know who Hurley is, no.So they'll be the ones
delivering it. They'll be delivering it
somewhere called the Memory Vault.
That's great to hear. Actually you guys would know
what the memory vault is. The memory vault is the bank
where you can convert your memory chosen artifacts into
fairs. OK, so that's like the bank that
people keep telling us to go to.It's the memory vault.
(42:34):
Yep. What time is it now, cat?
Or is it morning? It's morning.
Yeah, Yeah. I'd say it is 11:30.
OK. That's probably why it's not so
busy in here. But also that's not a lot of
time, yeah. OK.
And with your exceptionally goodparallel role, you are able to
get right back out. OK awesome, I look around for
valerian and pepper. Valerian's probably gone.
(42:55):
And Pepper's like tearing it up,I assume.
Yeah, Pepper is tearing it up. And in fact, Pepper the band,
they're loving it. Oh hell yeah.
I'm like joining them you're. Joining.
Them yeah, you're having a jam session you're.
Having a jam session. These are not the snobs from the
Dark Lamp Canal. These are the gritty paddle
weird musicians who play at RatsGrays.
(43:16):
Can I know anything about that ghost?
Yeah. Or the guy that died.
Does the ghost love the jam sesh?
Roll me another a tune. OK I'll try.
I got 3. OK, you are not able to find out
much from this ghost because he is scared and confused and very
freshly dead. Yeah, all you kind of get the
(43:37):
sense of from this guy as he is staggering away from his own
corpse and joining the milieu ofghosts that pack this train, is
that he fucked up. He fucked up.
He does something bad. He fucked up and he pissed off
Basil and now he is dead. Good.
So Valerian, you are ascending the ladder.
Nemo does not follow you as he has hooves and has trouble on
(43:59):
ladders. He trots away at sort of an
erratic speed, and you ascend upinto Basil's box.
If it is not the Emperor Valerian, come back after A
eventful evening from what I hear.
(44:21):
Please, I'm not an emperor anymore.
Valerian is fine. Very well, I like the humility.
Yes, I heard you got your ass handed to you.
Got that little 12 inch prick from the brass jaws.
Yes, they hit a lot harder than they look.
Yes. You always have to be careful
(44:42):
with those brass jaws there, known to pack quite a punch.
Indeed. But you know, it's served as an
adequate distraction for my friends to be able to help you
out. Yes, your friends, I've heard
quite a bit about them. They are downstairs, I believe
(45:04):
Paper is. Yes, she is the one in the
middle, rising, rounding up yourcrowd, round the dead body.
And I think the body adds some nice ambiance to the club at
this time of day. Certainly gave some flavor and
there was a lot. At 11. 30 AM.
You know, it's hard to get a group going like that this early
(45:25):
in the morning. The body really picked things
up. That's what it was.
Yeah. Well, I do have to say name came
up a bit more in connection to your thievery than I would have
liked. Everyone's already talking about
(45:46):
how the Piper Lords made a move against Bright Water.
I'm not very pleased by this. And I understand that.
I do apologize, you know. What's that cow guy's name?
Oh, you're going to blame it on?Yeah, I am.
We had that MO he we told him towait outside but he's got a
(46:11):
softy heart on him which made things difficult.
He won't last long. It's a shame, I love his cows.
I can't wait till the day he joins the porters and those cows
become my Porter houses. You're what?
(46:32):
That's pretty good. It's a.
Porterhouse. Steak, yeah.
Oh my God. Oh, oh Mr. Rad Mossy, you really
got to make it. Took me a minute.
(46:56):
Oh, good job. The collection of rats in a
trench coat, that is. Basil Ratmacy glances up towards
Shromp the Song, who is looming over the two of you.
And he says, Was that a good joke, Shromp?
Did it make you laugh? Can he laugh?
I keep trying to find out but sofar haven't gotten even a
(47:20):
chuckle from him. I believe in you.
I believe that you can do it. I'm glad you appreciate my
jokes. That is at least a point in the
favor of not killing you right now.
He was greatly appreciated. I heard there was a bit of
trouble with the sticko earlier today.
You know he was trying to get rid of nods horses.
(47:44):
Yes, by my orders, I don't like the horse decor.
You don't. Well, at least let us keep it.
Keep it out of sight. I don't want people thinking
about the fortune teller. He was popular.
Interesting. I will move the horse the course
so that it is in our private quarters.
Yes, I'm glad we could come to arrangement without much
(48:06):
trouble. Your companions, the little one
and the beautiful woman. Yes.
I don't like them very much. You know, I don't really like
them too much myself. Well, you know, no.
The beautiful woman paper, she has promised the little guy,
(48:28):
he's too feisty and he has like a moral backbone.
It's weird. I'll see if that lasts.
Oh well, see if he lasts. I am confident that they can be
made useful despite their disadvantages of personality.
I'll leave that to you. You, Valerian.
(48:53):
You are useful at least. On the subject of being useful,
I have something to give you. And Valerian pulls the drugs out
of his sleeve and hands them over to Mr. Ritmosy.
Bazzle. When he reaches out to grab him,
there's just like a moment whereyou realize his arm.
Is rats. It's rats and it's just like
(49:13):
extending out. Rather than him leaning forward
to get it, the rats just extend down.
And form watches with great interest.
And it envelops this vial from your hands.
And he pulls back and holds it up to the light.
Very good. So much trouble for such a small
thing. We'll be dealing with those
(49:34):
twits over in the collective, but this will undercut them and
that is ultimately my goal now. I think our business is
concluded. Valerian turns to chomp Desong
and he says. My good man, do you drink?
And Champ straightens up a little bit and then looms over
(49:57):
you. Cat, can you remind us what
champ the song looks like? Yes, champ.
The song is very, very tall, with very long limbs, like very
long arms and large hands and feet.
And he is wearing a blank mask that has a spiral pattern, like
a very thin spiral pattern. That's right, all along it
(50:18):
except for one eye hole where there is a rolling yellow eye
visible. Does he have hair?
Yes, he has like silvery hair that is very, he's got a lot of
it, but it's very fine and it's pulled back in a narrow cue at
the back of his neck. So hot for him, OK?
And he and he, you just said when I asked him that he looms
over me. Yeah, he doesn't respond.
(50:40):
He just sort of looms down over you.
I look at Rat Missy and I give aquestioning eyebrow.
I don't know if he eats or drinks to be honest with you.
I've never seen it happen. I think it would involve lifting
the mask and he never does that.My good man, I'm going to buy
you a drink and you can choose to drink or not to drink, but I
(51:04):
think you should have a drink. And I run down to get him a
drink. When I go down there I see Nemo
and I say my good say that are. Man, I am going to buy a drink
for chomp this song. And Nemo looks at you and goes
(51:24):
Are you sure? I'm positive I.
Don't think he drinks. Well, I'm going to give him a
drink and he can drink it if he wants, and if he doesn't want
to, he doesn't have to drink it.All right, so he pours the same
thing that you got, but in a slightly larger glass and a very
nice looking glass. Nice, Nice, nice.
So all these boxes where people are sitting, they have, like, a
little pulley system that you can put drinks on and then,
like, pulley it up. So you watch as this drink gets
(51:47):
pulled up to Champ, and he takesit, and you're, like, squinting
up into the dark. Yeah.
And you watch as he pours it down between his face and his
mask from the top. I love that for him.
So you still haven't learned anything from that that well.
I don't want to like ask him in front of.
(52:10):
You, I mean, but you could, you are currently talking to Nemo.
Go make an action. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'll make an action roll. It makes sense that Sean
wouldn't leave because he's like, he's the that's.
The thing yeah, I'm not going toget him to leave, but I wanted
to ingratiate myself. Yeah, yeah, yeah, a little.
Because you want to bone him. Yeah, yeah.
Because I want to fuck him. Who knows if he he even has
genitalia? I mean well.
Genitalia. I intend to find out what he
has, so jot that down. All right, jotted.
(52:34):
I think I might try Sway All. Right, so you're going to try
and sway Nemo to tell you something about the loyalty of
the gang? And you know what?
I think I'm going to buy him a drink as well.
OK, I'm going to say, you know what, Nemo?
You've been such a pal tonight. I want to get you a drink too if
you want. It's only 1145, but.
Hey. Yeah, you know, let's go for it.
Sure, 4:00. Somewhere you know.
(52:56):
That's what in some world it definitely.
Is that's what they say Nima, how do you like it here with the
Piper Lords? You know, I, I know it's
probably a rough gang, but plenty of people are here
joining on, myself included, so.Against your will.
OK, well, you know. Yeah, all right.
Why don't you roll for? Me.
OK. That's a five.
(53:19):
Yeah. OK, So A5, that is going to be
some standard amount of information, Nemo says.
Oh, you know, it's a a dynamic organization.
Yes, it's a a very dynamic organization and we're all very
bought in at this point. I think I know what you mean.
Those who were not bought in fully enough are make a swift
(53:43):
exit. Like that guy over there on the
ground, the dead body. Yeah.
Yeah. We got to get somebody to clean
that up. I think the people like it that
are still dancing. Look at that.
Pepper has like hauled this man's body like onto the stage.
Yeah. Like you're fucking.
Are you making the Bernie? 'S yeah, me and the band are
(54:03):
Weekend at Bernie's. Yeah, guys, we're trying to get
the people hyped, yeah. And this is what hypes the
people. And it's working.
Makes sense? Fucking working.
Valerian says what? The What do you think Champ
bought? No one knows.
He's been here as long as Mr. Atmosy, you think?
(54:24):
Longer. Longer might have been wandering
around in poke pot. At least that's the rumor.
What's poke pot? Poke pot is one of the other
districts. It's sort of like the scrap.
Yeah, the scrap district. Very poor.
Yeah, we haven't been there yet,no.
How long have you been bartending here?
You know, time is very difficultto measure.
I can understand that now you're.
(54:45):
I see your bottom half is why? Does everybody bring this up?
People who don't have hooves on their bottom half always want to
bring up that I've got hooves. I'm I'm want to look at look at
this and Valerian shows his cattail.
We are the same, sort of. Well you'll find on the train
that if you've got some animal ish parts people always want to
(55:07):
make a very freaking big deal out.
Of it, well I was going to ask as your species longer lived
than the average. No, you know, and in my world,
yes, in the train, we all kind of live.
About the same. You know, listen, what we've
found is there's no upper limit to how long you can live on the
train, as long as you don't fuckup your mementos.
(55:30):
I'll say just from my own edification, what would you say
the average lifespan of like a mid link level piper Lord member
is? Well, it depends on what you're
doing. You know, the more adventurous
persuasion who go out into the worlds and find things for us to
pass along for a good time. Times hard to measure, but they
(55:55):
live decently long. As long as they don't, you know,
it kind of makes a, you know, neck choppy motion.
Sure. Yeah, that was decently long.
It's the low level members we gothrough.
Pretty. As Valerian is talking with
Nemo, Friedrich had been watching Pepper's performance to
try and see kind of if there wasany sort of ghost activity, but
(56:18):
when like the dead body play starts coming into the
performance. Call it dead body play I.
Don't know what else to call. You're playing with a dead body.
He becomes quite uncomfortable and he makes his way over to the
bar where he sees Valerian and says Valerian, we need to talk.
About blood. I have some pertinent
(56:39):
information to our upcoming goals.
About what? And then Opera is working
together with several people to have like a lit candle in the
hand of the dead body and. Let me just real quick, OK?
Valerian says can you? I know you love to yell, but
(57:03):
whether you have to say may be quiet.
Inside it was my intention to. Speak, you're yelling right now.
Well, I'm not saying anything important right now.
But you're like implying that you're about to say something
important, and that's basically the same.
I think Friedrich looks around, although Friedrich got choded
(57:24):
and says, you know what, never mind, we'll talk about it later.
You know says can I get you another drink?
I think I've got another thimblein here somewhere.
For my good tiny man here. Tiny drink then.
And Friedrich grimaces. And Friedrich, you feel it just
kind of zip right up your spine and I and you also, you feel it
(57:46):
in like your nose cavity. Yeah, I think a little bit of of
vapor does kind of escape out ofmy nose and I start coughing a
little. I hear smoking is bad for your
health friend. I'll keep that in mind.
Anyway, Nemo was it? That's my name.
So you've you've worked here a long time.
Oh God, yeah. You know, times hard to measure.
(58:09):
Might you have in in your time here come across a a a person by
the name of Hurley? Oh.
Hurley, why do you want to know?And now we're going to roll.
Good luck. Let's do Sway.
Yeah, we want to sway this man to tell you something.
Yes. So I have one dice in Sway OK 6.
(58:31):
What? You.
Are. You the dice guys are with you.
Seriously, I feel like we're just like better at rolling 6
sided dice. Yeah, you guys are.
You guys are. That's right.
So true. That's right.
So, so true. It's important to be humble in
all moments. So he said what?
Why do I want to know? Why do you want to know?
(58:52):
Let me see. Well, I I heard his name in the
bar. Some folks were speaking about
him. Sounds like he's been causing
some trouble Bubble. Hurley.
Oh, Hurley wouldn't. Well, no.
He would hurt a lot of flies. He would hurt a lot of flies,
and he would be really weird about it.
He and shop are well, OK, let's put it like this.
(59:14):
Hurley wants to be shop. Shop.
I don't really know how much he's aware of how much anyone
else exists around him, but Hurley is he really wants to be
shop. But Chomp has rather unique
abilities. Is is Hurley capable of the sort
of feats that that Chomp can accomplish?
(59:36):
No, no, no. The primary way Hurley solves
problem is is just sort of by being there mostly.
And he's got good eyes. I think that's really why the
boss has kept him around this long.
He just notices, just notices things.
But I think he's doing some sortof he's he's, I know he's pretty
good with all that arcane stuff.And I think he's doing something
(59:58):
with the, the goats, the ghosts,the goats, the ghosts.
Is it goats or ghosts? I believe it's ghosts because
you're the goat. The goat.
That's right, I got to jump intothe back for just a second.
But you 2 have fun. And Pepper is ending her song
(01:00:20):
and she lays the body down at the edge of the stage and
crosses its hands over its chestvery respectfully and gives a
little bop on the nose. And she says, you guys ready to
go? Valerian claps for you.
And and says very well done pepper.
Beautiful. Beautiful.
Yeah, I'm good. Yes, let's get out of here.
(01:01:14):
It's rat man pussy actually. Yes, actually rat man pussy.
Thanks.