August 21, 2025 • 53 mins
Pepper gets advice from Valerian and decides to attack a woman. Friedrich gets advice from Valerian about attacking a woman and it nearly gives him a medical episode. Still, tactics and poetry are no match for our intrepid crew...... unless?
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✂️ This Episode's Outtakes & Extras ✂️
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This episode edited by the Larks and Wray Van Winkle.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
OK, so my dumb corporate icebreaker, like if your
character for this new campaign,so if they were like an animal,
what animal would they be? And I know like you're going to
say cat Juniper, but there's a lot of oh, OK, 'cause I was
going to say there's a lot of different breeds and types and
anyway, all. Right, all right, let's just do
it. Let's go around the table.
Oh, and you could do whichever one of like if you want to do
(00:21):
Charles Rex oh. I have.
I'm going to do it for the character of the narrator who is
a character. Oh fun, who's going first?
I can go first if you guys want because I already had a chance
to. Think about it.
Yeah, I actually look up the animal that I'm thinking of.
I was thinking of, so you know how there's like really cool
birds of prey, but then there are like the like tiny little
birds of prey and it's like it'slike a hawk or a Falcon or
(00:44):
whatever, but it's like, so it'sa small and it's just a little
guy. Yeah, I think that one of those
stupid little one. Of those stupid little guys.
Creature. That's creature.
Like a little owl. Like a grumpy little owl.
Yeah, one of. Those yeah 1.
That's really small. Yeah, those vicious killer owls,
but they look like they're just like a little.
Barb Yeah, a little one of thoselittle bitches.
Yeah, OK, sorry. I'm still thinking.
(01:06):
Yeah, no, everyone now we're we're all thinking about like,
yeah. I know.
Give me a minute I. Have other ones if that helps.
Yeah, to come back, OK, because I heard a song the other day
where I was like, this is very apartment.
So if there's a song that you would associate with your
character. So I do have one for that.
Actually, I have a whole freaking playlist.
(01:26):
I knew it. Of course, and I've been
listening to that on repeat for a long time.
But for the entire campaign I have a song that is.
I have basically thought throughframe by frame of what a intro
for the campaign would be. An animatic.
Yeah, like an animatic and it isthe song Sinner by the Last
(01:50):
Dinner Party. So that's like my whole
campaign. But, and this is a redacted, I
will not tell you which character this is, but the song
from the start by Laffy. Also, I said I was going to do
this for the narrator, but actually I am going to change
that. The train is the character that
I am going to answer for, for the what animal would it be?
(02:11):
And it would be an aquarium octopus that is very fond of its
caretakers. You know, like the ones where
you see videos where it's like the octopus loves its caretakers
but also will break out of its tank and do a million crimes a
minute. That's so.
Interesting of the song that I heard that made me think of
(02:32):
Friedrich. It's explode by Mother Mother.
Oh yeah, that's a great. Song, but it's funny, I'm like,
I feel like almost all the lyrics fit really well, except
there's a bit about having sex and I'm like, there's no way.
This man does not fuck. But outside of that, dead on.
Dead on, all right? I need, I need answers from my
friends. OK my other friends.
(02:52):
I have I have an animal. Yeah, what's your animal for
Valerian Civet? Oh yeah, that.
Makes sense like again. They're like cats that look like
they should be beautiful little cuddly friends, but then they
are. They're evil and they like look
kind of weird. They.
Like that they're like, not. They're like in one of the.
Cat families. But they're not like, they're
like a raccoon cat. Yeah, they're like a weasel
(03:13):
raccoon cat. Yeah, those are cool cats.
I can't wait to see the furry fan art for everyone's
characters. We I don't think we've ever
gotten anthro fan art. Well, we will now, because we
will. We have AI welcome tail.
I welcome it. We got a bitch with a tail.
I don't know. I mean, for pepper, it's like
the stereotypical answer, but I do think of a dog specifically.
I think of like like a borzoi like like a really like.
(03:36):
I would, I would have said like a beautiful, like one of those
coppery golden retrievers. Oh yeah, sure.
Wait, why the? Borzoi, tell me more about.
Just because like they're like dumb, they're like weird and
they seem like they've lived like 1000 lives and like have
like secret pain do. You guys have songs for your
characters? Well, the first one that came to
mind for me was that one fuckingPanic at the Disco song.
(04:00):
Oh. Did you know that?
Yeah, yeah, 'cause I think it was actually one of my songs for
Torva. Oh it.
Probably was. So funny.
It's literally called Emperor's New Clothes.
Oh wait, I think I know that one.
I mean, I think like maybe the lost song, make your own kind of
music. Oh yeah, that one.
Yeah, man. Good ass fuck I didn't.
(04:20):
Know it was in lost, yeah. Like it's famously in Lost.
I've never seen Lost and I was like, why are you calling it the
Lost song? It's famously in Lost ohh.
I had one more which I was goingto ask if you had a Tumblr post
that you would have so. I couldn't think of one off the
top of my head. That's fine, I had the idea
because of course I saw the fucking Reddit screenshot about
the lentil sky. Lentil sky.
(04:43):
That's right. I mean, if you want to know the
first thing that popped into my head when you asked that
question, and I have no basis for this, and I can't say that
it would genuinely represent Valerian in any way, but it is
the they crave that mineral goatmeme.
I don't know why. But that's sure that's a mineral
he craves. I think it's more, I feel like
it's more that Valerian's assumption about people is that
(05:03):
they crave that mineral. Yeah, probably, actually.
Yeah. He's more like trying to figure
out which mineral they crave, and then he's trying to seize
the means of production. Oh actually, yeah, the for the
train the Tumblr post is ask notfor whom.
The Vengabus is coming, and it'scoming makes.
Perfect sense, great post. Great post.
Great post. Yeah.
(05:26):
You OK? No, I was looking at Tumblr
posts. Peppers is a post that Cat made.
Oh, it's tearfully adding a new tag to my blacklist.
I'm sorry, beloved Mutual, you've gone somewhere I cannot.
Follow. Well, Speaking of my Tumblr and
my beautiful Tumblr posts, let'splay Blades in the Dark.
(06:17):
Hello, my name is Kat and I am Drachita.
Hi, my name is Noel. I play Pepper.
She's. A rail Jack Hi, I'm Jumper and I
play Valerian who's a slip and slide.
Hi. Hi, I'm Errol.
I play Friedrich Vice who is a Leech.
All right, my beautiful Leech rail Jack and slip and slide.
(06:38):
Before we get started, why don'tyou guys talk through what you
have on your notes? Okay, my note says Frederick,
Elise and Pepero. My notes in here says there is a
man with a sword. I am high, get the sword.
Yeah, you were flirting with Sword Man.
Yeah, I was flirting with Sword Man.
Yeah, and I got us all. That's right.
And then we write that down. We're doing a deception score.
(07:01):
We're trying to get the diadem. If we win, there's four judges.
There's the high priest Gabriel.There's the hero Adrostis, who
has the special sword. Well, they're all high now.
Yeah, there's Bo Bangles I forgot about.
My. I want you guys to know the
notes are like high priest gavril hero adrostis has special
(07:21):
sword go vanglies question mark question mark question.
Mark, just another priest. I had to come up with a name.
And Valerian, of course, has taken the place of one of the
judges. And then in the competition, the
contestants are Olympia, the Princess who's bad at stuff but
friendly, Javelina, who's rich and mean, Bettini, who is a
(07:42):
temple acolyte and is also kind of mean, and Dora, who's part of
the commoner class and decent atstuff.
And then of course, we've got Peppera also competing now.
Yep, Yep. And that stuck in the stables.
Yeah, that did happen. I did get out.
You got out, that's like, that'swhere we left to do that.
You got out of the stables because of your actions with the
horses. Frederick for Trickles Poutini
(08:04):
is out. Oh yeah, she's like out of her
fucking leg or. Whatever.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. There was a that.
Was crazy. Yep.
And the other lady also like gotinjured I think.
She got injured, but she's not injured enough to be out.
Yeah, Pavlina. So all that's left is poetry and
tactics because we've done archery, cherry tearing and
music. We got tactics in the bag.
But also people are suspicious of us now because we've done
(08:25):
some weird shit. Yes, you guys have the six
clock. Temple suspicion is 4 out of 6,
and the lady's suspicion is 3 out of six.
So you guys are some suspicions are being raised because you
guys have been doing some crazy shit.
And then the last thing that happened you saw a strange woman
who you suspect of being from never nowhere breaking into a
(08:48):
room inside the Coliseum. So of course you followed her
straight to the Sun Queens diadem.
And that is where we are now. She has slit the guards throat.
You have just walked in on her in the secure room in the
Coliseum. The other two guards have been
distracted by your smoke bomb, at least for now.
(09:08):
Fuck OK, I'm glad I fucking followed her.
You come into the room and she makes eye contact with you and
you can see her do the same calculation that you did where
she sees like, oh, this guy doesn't belong here, I also
don't belong here. And she looks at the crown and
she goes, I see, are you here for that too?
(09:29):
I am already fingering in my bandolier for a grenade.
OK. All right.
But as I do, I say yes, How would you like to negotiate?
Well, unfortunately I'm working on commissions, so I'm afraid
there is no negotiation and she is going to throw a dagger at
(09:49):
you. OK.
So you are going to have to resist if you do not want to get
a dagger in you, my friend. All right, cool, I can do a
resist. How does that work again?
So either you will take a level 2 harm of stabbed.
Yeah, No thanks. But if you want to resist this,
you will use one of your character's attributes, Incite,
Prowess, or Resolve. I would say this is Prowess to
(10:11):
resist the consequences of getting stabbed by a dagger.
So however many pips you have inthat, that's how many dice you
roll. Okay.
And so it's going to be 6 stressto resist, and you will subtract
whatever your highest number from your role is, and that's
how much stress you'll take to resist this.
Okay, 6. Hell yeah, Errol, this is your
(10:33):
game. Apparently my D sixes aren't
cursed, it's only my D20. Yeah, I guess so, because that
was a level 2 harm. Actually, you will only take a
level 1 harm instead, and that will be a shallow cut.
Geez, I better throw my fucking grenade at this lady.
All right, what do you want to do for your action role there?
May I? Tinker you.
(10:56):
You may tinker, you may tinker you may tinker.
This is going to be a desperate and standard effect 6 Holy shit.
And make sure you mark experience for taking a
desperate action. Fuck you.
OK, yeah, you throw a fucking grenade.
(11:16):
And yeah, it has the expected effect of hurting this woman
very badly. It also has the expected effect
of everybody in the building. So Pepper and Valerian, you hear
an explosion go off from somewhere deep within the
building as you 2 are getting set up for the tactics contest.
And I should clarify, it's not like a huge grenade, you know,
(11:38):
It's like a little. Like a dimmer?
Grenade. I just want to clarify it's a
small explosive charge with a short fuse that detonates into
metal shrapnel. Right, like a.
Grenade. Like a grenade.
Grenade. Yeah, I.
Just want to like a standard baris how loud it is or is it how
many? Like as loud as a grenade?
How? About as loud as a grenade.
It's like if a grenade went off in this building.
Like as loud as that. How loud as that, Friedrich?
(12:00):
The room explodes into plaster dust and shrapnel, and you hear
a high keening wave as this woman is impaled by shrapnel.
And what do you do from here? As you're looking around, you
see the table has been upturned,the crown where it had been like
swaddled in like a beautiful sort of like silk pillow.
(12:21):
It has been tossed to the floor and is in the corner now.
I know what I want to do. Yeah.
So she's kind of like, incapacitated somewhat, right?
Yeah. I'm going to go ahead and grab
her wrist and I'm going to wait for the guards to come.
Interesting. So you're not going to going to
go for the crown, you're going to stick with the plan here, OK.
I mean, I haven't had a chance to communicate with the others.
(12:43):
OK, all right, all right, so yougrab her wrist and I.
Look at her and I look in her eyes and I look guilty.
And she looks up at you and her eyes are just full of hate and
tears and she grits her teeth and goes.
(13:04):
So I guess the new guy's got some teeth.
I don't take any pleasure in it.You should learn to and what is
she going to do? I mean, it was a, it was a
pretty hardcore grenade, I think.
You know this, But it had shrapnel.
It had shrapnel, Yeah. I don't know.
I think it's probably not. It's like a.
(13:24):
Small explosive. I'm pretty much full of
shrapnel. It causes an explosion.
Tiny little explosive. Yeah.
Just barely there. But I will kick her if I have to
the. Shrapnel.
The shrapnel was like little slivers.
All right. I mean, she's pretty well
incapacitated by this grenade and.
Yeah. I mean, what level of harm would
you say that is? I would.
I mean, I'm going to say that's probably a Level 3 harm.
(13:45):
So the guards come pouring in and they point their Spears at
you and her, Friedrich. All right, I hold her wrist and
I say I apprehended this thief attempting to steal the diadem.
And one of the guards says, who the hell are you?
And I'm going to have you roll an action roll to get yourself
out of this, Friedrich. I think the best thing for me to
(14:07):
do here is sway. And even though I've taken a
fair amount of stress, how much stress is it to push yourself
again to kind of think I better?So yeah, this seems important.
So how many stresses do you haveleft?
I'm three. OK, OK, highest is 4.
(14:28):
What? Does that mean, OK, that is
success with a consequence. OK, So what do you say to them?
They asked who the hell are you?Yeah, I say.
My daughter is competing in the festival and I I saw this woman
very suspiciously sneaking past the guards.
I I apprehended her attempting to steal the diadem.
Fortunately, I had my personal defense mechanism on hand.
(14:52):
And I think the consequence hereis that you are going to up the
suspicion again, because what kind of thing did you have on
you that made this big explosion?
They really look at you, Friedrich, now as you're here,
covered in plaster dust with hisinjured woman, supposedly the
father of one of the contestants.
And they kind of look at each other and go, what happened
(15:14):
here? But they're going to let you go,
one of the guards says. Sir, let me escort you back to
your seat. The tactics competition will be
beginning soon and we'll need tointerrogate this woman.
I look back at her and I say make sure that she gets medical
attention. Of course, Sir.
And the woman looks at you. The look in her eyes is anger,
(15:37):
yes, but it is also betrayal, like what you have done to her.
Here, she feels betrayed. I mean, I don't even fucking
know her so. You don't, but she's another
member of the train and. We're not supposed to do this to
people on the train. I mean, she was going to kill
me. I won't elaborate further other
than that there may be things you don't know.
(15:59):
Oh God. All right, so Friedrich the
guard escorts you back to the main arena just as Pepper you
are being escorted out in a person recession with the other
ladies. You've changed.
They've put you into a new costume and it's loose sky blue
robes belted at the waist with golden chains again, except for
(16:21):
Dora, who wears undyed robes andwooden chains that have been
painted silver. The.
Fuck. So as you come into the arena,
Pepper, you are met with a team of five men who are all armed
with blunt Spears. They help you stand up atop a
platform where you can see a battlefield which has been set
(16:44):
up with wooden obstacles around a center stage.
The stairs have been taken away from the center stage and there
is a black and silver flag planted in the center.
The announcer calls down from a box at audience level and he
says welcome to the tactics competition.
Each of our remaining contestants must direct her
(17:04):
troops to try to capture the flag of Nicella.
Goddess, it's the blackest night.
Now before you get too worried my dear audience, these weapons
are not sharp, for the Goddess has commanded that no blade shed
blood on these holy days. And Friedrich, as he is saying
that you are coming back in covered in plaster dust, having
(17:26):
just done incalculable amount ofdamage.
Yeah. And I, I think I'm going to go
ahead and mark two more on my. On your personal.
My personal vapor clock because I'm going to count 1 for being
fucking hit with a knife and then a second for having to
throw a grenade at a. Killer woman.
Yeah, a little bit, which means I have one left, so that'll be
(17:49):
fun, all right. Announcer continues.
Now whoever's troops managed to capture the flag will be the
winner of the competition, and it is a winner takes all
competition. Those who do not manage to
capture the flag will receive nopoints.
Now ladies begin. So Pepper, you have a troop of
(18:10):
five soldiers. As soon as the announcer says
begin, have Lena points her troops directly at you and yells
charge. Jesus, OK Pepper is not
comfortable in this kind of a situation.
She would definitely have gottenhelp.
OK, sounds like maybe a flashback is called for here.
(18:33):
Yes, perhaps a flashback. Yeah, Valerian, you're the
tactics guy. Yeah.
Would I roll for that then? Or would.
Pepper would take the stress forthe flashback, but if there's
something you're going to do during the flashback, you will
roll for it. OK.
I think I was thinking like getting tips and tricks
beforehand. A montage, perhaps?
Tactics training montage. Yeah, because we knew this was
(18:55):
coming. Yes.
And I think our best bet would be for Pepper to know things to
do on the fly. OK, I'm just going to charge you
one stress for that. OK, let's play out that scene a
little bit. There's no secret weapons you
can. No, there's no secret weapons.
It's just that Pepper asks Valerian for tactical advice,
and she regrets it immediately because Valerian would begin
(19:19):
giving her first the full history of his domination of the
Empire, which is, it's very impersonal.
It's taught like a history lesson.
He doesn't give you like any fun, like drama tidbits.
It's just like this took place and then this took place and
then this took place. Yeah, but like what?
I'm very. Curious about what took place?
(19:41):
So he started out as a pauper, OK, He was a rat On the streets,
he was a rat. He was a rat.
Catcher. Yeah, and you get the sense that
he's not telling you the full story about that, but he uses it
to inspire you by saying, like, you know, even I was small once,
and even a small rat on the street can grow to become king,
empire, emperor. I'm not a rat, but okay.
(20:04):
You know you're a paper, so. Hey.
Don't interrupt me. And so then he would tell you
about how he uses good looks andhis charm to befriend people and
specifically to make people feelbad for him.
He was very good at looking likea sad little boy who needed to
be taken care of, and so he got the attention of nobles.
This doesn't seem very helpful so far.
(20:25):
Just wait. You have to wait till I get to
the part where we were at the war, because that happens later,
OK? It's important to understand how
the beginning happens, even if. It's not helpful.
It's helpful. Shut up, don't talk anymore.
I'm giving you a lesson. And then basically his ultimate
position is that he gets to be the commander of a faction of
(20:48):
the original prince's Knights. So he has experience performing
various maneuvers for the original Prince because they
were at war with another Kingdomat the time of his reign.
And how did he, as a knight, handle getting charged?
Valerian's advice to you would be now, if you're being
targeted, it is important that you first of all, don't let that
(21:09):
happen, but. What if it does happen?
If it happens, that is what yourretinue of Knights is for, to
protect you from the charge. And then you send your best
Knights to target the individuals because the army is
nothing without the general. You take out the general.
The army is just bumbling bullshitters.
(21:31):
So you go for these other girls.You slit their throats.
You send your best men directly after them.
You tell them do not engage withother Knights.
You go directly for the source, the leader.
You take the head off. How do I tell which one is the
best knight? You look for the one who is not
(21:51):
the biggest OK and not the smallest.
OK, medium. The one who, when you give
orders, you want the one that does hesitate for a moment, just
a moment. You don't want the one that
gives you talk back, back talk. You want the one that hesitates
just a moment and then follows through because that one is
(22:14):
thinking, and you want the one who thinks to go after their
head. OK, so the one at the medium
night, the medium night fast andmedium fast.
Medium fast, medium big hesitates but follows the order.
Does not give back talk. The one who gives back talk, the
one who follows order without hesitate.
That's your medium. That's yeah.
(22:35):
The other ones are the ones you send to the.
Medium, OK. Shut up.
No, listen. The ones who are not hesitating,
that's your father. I love the medium no.
That's your father. Stop.
OK, alright, alright, so. Well.
You guys that preparation that you took one stress for?
Yeah, Do I? Take any stress from no.
(22:57):
I took one stress this is going.To say, I think Valerian was a
little. I don't know how much help that
gave you Pepper, but you I'm. Going to follow a direction.
It was solid. It actually.
Was, you know, at first I was like, I don't know what's going
on here, but eventually I was like.
He got. There.
Yeah, I was like that. So what that would mean is
Pepper has prepped her guys in advance, right?
(23:17):
Yeah. Like did I get to meet them?
Before, yeah, I'll say you guys got like a couple minutes to to
talk through your tactics. Before and I was like measuring
them and I was like too big, toosmall, just right.
You're focused on the least important part of this.
So she like buddying up to the medium size?
(23:41):
God damn it, Emma's going to die.
Yeah, she shit. What's the medium sized night's
name? His name is Dorcas.
I'm so mad. I'm so mad.
Dorcas is going to get you killed, Pepper.
Oh, Dorcas, would you say when someone gives you orders, do you
listen right away, Do you yell at them, or do you do something
(24:04):
in the middle? I would like to think that I
will follow my commander's orders as long as those orders
do not endanger myself or my men.
Darkest you're perfect. Pepper like touches his face and
she's like wow. So, flashing back to the
present, you are being charged by Pavlina's troops right out
(24:27):
the gate. She sends her troops to you.
Yeah, and I've talked to Dorcas about get to whoever is like
being aggro towards us. You go attack.
That woman, okay, and you see him hesitate because he has been
told to attack a woman. Does he hesitate?
(24:48):
But then he follows the orders, right?
He does. He.
Does the Valerian said. He breaks away from the the rest
of your team. I'm going to have you make a
roll here though, Pepper. What about Sway?
Yeah, I think sway counts. Or a consort, I mean.
Because you made friends with Dorcas, Yeah.
And he wants to protect me. He wants to because I called him
medium size and he loved that. He loved.
(25:08):
Really like he. Said he was perfect.
Yeah, I did say he was spermic. That was maybe more the more
medium. Size and perfect.
Men love to be told they're medium.
Size. They're medium and perfect.
Darkest is love that all right? My highest is A5. 5 All right,
that is a success with a complication.
(25:28):
OK, so Darkest darts out as yourother nights warm up around you
to protect you. And he charges straight for
Pavlina who has left herself completely exposed.
And he goes in and he ceremonially bunks her with his
dull spear and she cries out andshe immediately goes, Oh my
shoulder, you broke my shoulder.You've broken my shoulder up.
(25:53):
Vicious, Vicious. Dorkus.
And the announcer calls time unnecessary roughness.
Please remove him from the fieldand you have lost Dorcas.
What the fuck? Valerian stands up in the stands
and he's like Fall. No, that was a valid play.
That was a valid tactic. Get out, pick it out.
(26:16):
Who about the ref? Pepper is like holding out her
hand towards Dorcas as he gets dragged away.
So Dorcas is removed from the competition, but.
No, he was my most medium sized not.
But you've got one of them that Pavlina is also out as she has
(26:37):
been struck down from the competition and she is crying
big crocodile tears as a healer comes out to assess her
injuries. Do I get her guys?
No, you don't get her guys. Her guys are now gone.
Her guys all kind of look disappointed as they were like
just about to and they were excited guys and they were
really excited. And then they all have to like
put down their Spears and walk away and.
(26:58):
They're gone against a master date.
So here's a thing. Pepper also would feel that she
has kind of done too well and soher aim isn't really to win,
it's just to do well enough to be in the top.
But we won't get the crown if we.
(27:19):
You don't have to win first place in everything not in.
Everything. Oh, I see what you mean.
You don't want to win this competition.
You already. Did lose music?
I didn't lose music. But she is out in front.
Oh, you didn't? No, I did a bad job, but I still
want. Got it.
That's right. So you got an I.
It's not our fault that they don't understand music.
It's literally not our fault. So you're aiming for second
(27:41):
place in this Yeah, competition.Yeah, Capsticks competition, OK.
Like she wanted Dorcas to succeed because she loves him,
but. Maybe a little relieved, yeah.
All right, so how do you manifest this?
I don't know, like she's very obsessed.
Dorcas is really the only one she talked to.
She doesn't have any plans for these other guys.
(28:01):
She's like looking like trying to figure out who the new medium
sized night is. But she wants to see what are
Olympia and Dora doing? They are both maneuvering their
men towards the flag in the center.
Olympia has sent two men to circle around to try and get
behind Dora's guys as they make a very straightforward charge
(28:22):
for the flag. OK, they're doing the obstacle
course stuff. They're going up the little
wooden wall, and then people come up behind them and start
trying to pull down the guy who's on top of the wall.
OK, so they're involved in a skirmish.
All right, is there any way to avoid the obstacles in a
coward's fashion? You're going to have to do some
obstacles, but you can do different obstacles.
OK. What are my options?
(28:43):
So there's the climbing wall that everybody's on right now.
Approaching the stage from the other side is a balance
obstacle. OK, Think the floating steps in
Ninja Warrior. You know, like they have to like
leap from. Pepper would be really good at
that, I think. You know what, Pepper, this is
not her strong suit. Her strong suit is do it
(29:03):
yourself. And she's lost with that Dorcas.
And so she's going to say with me, and then she's going to run
out into the obstacles. Hilarion puts his head in his
hands. Hello lovely people, This is
(29:25):
Noel from the podcast and I'm here to bring you your mid roll
announcements information. I I first of all, would love to
tell you that we have a sale going on over at our store.
So if you go over to legend larkdot store, you can get 15% off
of everything physical and 10% off of ad reads and personal
(29:46):
messages. So if you are interested in any
of the amazing art that Errol and Juniper have made, we've got
stickers, pins, apparel, prints.It is really an amazing
selection. So if you are looking for
anything or a gift for somebody who likes Legend Lark, I
recommend you check it out because now is the town of
(30:06):
Dubai, our sale is going to keepgoing until September 30th.
So you've got a little time, butnot not unlimited time.
So get on over to Legend Lark Death Store.
I also would love to thank new patrons who have joined on since
last time that goes out to partly Tiresome Walnut, Mia and
Hemlock. Thank you guys so so much for
(30:27):
joining our community on Patreon.
If you are a listener who has never checked out our Patreon, I
recommend you do because our Patreon is really good, if I do
say so myself. We've got like tons of bonus
episodes with our bonus campaignfrom Dames and Dragons.
Plus we have like outtakes and deleted scenes from every single
episode as well as live streams.You can get a print sent to you
(30:50):
4 * a year. There's many wonderful,
wonderful dreams to be realized over at patreon.com/legend Lark
or Legend lark.com/patreon, whatever suits you fancy.
Over on Spotify, I would like torespond to, I guess, a couple
comments. Spotify, it's either hiding
(31:11):
comments that mention Grease or it's, it's hiding the word gay
and the word cat boy. And you know, it's hard to say
which. So Crow made the very salient
point that it would be harder tofind someone in an ancient
Greece inspired world who is nota little bit gay.
And for their correct opinion, they were silenced.
(31:34):
But Crow, I'm here to respond and I'm here to say hell yeah.
And I know that Adrossis is gay.Gay is in gay is hot gay.
It's going to be and Harho made our other hidden comment for
this episode, which said this episode really shows that the
ancient Greeks are hitting themselves on the head that they
didn't invent cat boys, which I don't know if we have definitive
(31:56):
proof that ancient Greeks didn'tinvent cat boys.
But thank you guys so much for your comments that were swiftly
hidden by Spotify. But you'll never be silenced on
the ledge alert. Podcast so.
We love you, we cherish you and Speaking of interacting with our
beautiful fans and our beautifulfans not being silenced, we have
many social medias for you to follow, peruse, get, get into.
(32:20):
We are on Tumblr, which is our most active.
We're on blue sky, we're on Instagram.
We have a Reddit, we got a fan run discord.
But actually, you know what we have like a TikTok too, I guess
and you can go to TikTok and youcan follow us on TikTok and I
literally like post things there.
So I know it's crazy. I know it's it's huge if true,
but if you, if you like TikTok and you like this podcast,
(32:43):
there's content for you and everywhere on social media.
We are legend lark pod. So you can run on over and
follow us up and we will cry andjoy and and rejoice every day.
And last of all, a message to the beautiful Chantal.
(33:04):
Chantal, I feel like I said thislast time, I freaking love your
cat and I can't wait to see her again.
Mitzi, if you're out there, I know that you're a tiny little
fluffy sleeper agent too. Chantal, the code word is
braxiatel. And with that, the sleeper agent
is active. Go.
(33:36):
And she's going to lead them across the floating stairs.
So all right, what action are you going to use for this?
Could I do prowl? Yeah, we can call it Prowl.
You know, it's the same sort of skill set as if you were like
jumping around on roofs. Yeah, this is standard effect,
and it's risky. Yeah, it's risky standard.
OK. My highest is a four.
(33:57):
Okay, that is a success with a consequence.
So you lead your men across these floating steps and you
make it. But on the last step you trip
and you twist your ankle. Please take a level 1 harm of
twisted ankle. Jesus.
But you have made it to the platform with the flag.
Nice. And you hear the announcer go.
(34:19):
And Lady Pepperah has made a bold and unusual decision to
charge the field herself. Certainly a unusual tactic for
one of our fair ladies. And you hear Olympia scream
enrage. Olympia OH girl enrage out
there. And she commands her men to
(34:40):
leave the others behind. Just go, just go.
And so the one man who was up already on top of the wall, he
abandons his fellows who were trying to get up, and he turns
towards you and your men who arecoming across and he is going to
charge you. Well, you know what?
Pepper looks back. Are her guys with her or has she
just left them behind? I think she has fucking left him
(35:01):
behind. I think that is that is part of
your for there is that you charged ahead of them and
they're all still trying to makeit across this balance obstacle.
And she's like, holy, Dorkas washere and she is going to tackle
this guy. OK, well what actor are you
using for that? I guess skirmish.
(35:23):
OK, I love this skirmish. What do you have in skirmish?
I have. 1. Got one in skirmish?
All right, roll one dice. Are you going to push yourself?
Do you want a devil's bar again?I'll push myself.
OK, 2 stresses. Take two stress and one extra
dice. For the whole thing to tackle
this man, before I tell you whatI got what, what was the
(35:48):
standard of their effect and. Oh yeah, this would be, I would
say actually this is going to beAI think it's a desperate
standard. OK, I got a 2.
Oh OK, well take take experiencefor taking a desperate action
and as a two you gosh pepper everybody admires your gumption,
your plucky can do attitude. They love.
(36:10):
It they love it. They love to see a woman trying
to tackle a full grown soldier, a big muscular man.
And that man just fucking pile drives.
You are taken down and you are taken down hard.
I'm going to give you another level 1 harm that is going to
(36:33):
drive. Yeah, pile drives.
And it is. It's truly one of those moments
where the crowd is going. Oh, and.
Literally turns into the WWE. Oh, and you are just taken down.
Now now is that man removed frombattle?
(36:54):
I don't know how. Much is how much is pepper?
Gonna. I have to ham it up it.
Probably does hurt. I was going to say, I don't
think it's really an act. I.
Think Pepper is like I think shelike can't.
Move. Yeah, I.
Can't breathe? And the soldier I made here, he
like, he kind of realizes like, oh shit, I fucked up.
And barely he's like, oh shit, he's like, Oh my lady, are you?
(37:18):
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
I grabbed onto the front of his uniform.
Yeah, and the medics come and they rush you away and he is
taken out for excessive roughness.
And as you are carted away, yourmen are out.
And let me just do a quick fortune roll.
Valerian, you are watching as Pepper has just.
Absolutely. I stopped watching as soon as
(37:39):
she took her men into battle. Like he's had his head in his
hands the whole time. In fact, he's starting to feel a
little sick because of how high he is.
OK. And I think after a brief
struggle, Olympia's soldiers make it to the flag and they
take it and hold it high in Olympia.
She cheers. She's so happy.
(38:01):
Yay. She's finally won something
legitimately. Actually, she was really angry
before though. That's it.
Seen that side of her were screaming.
In rage. I mean, she did say she wants to
marry that dude. Oh yeah.
That's right. God, and I want her to marry
that dude. Me too.
Yeah, so you don't have to marrythat dude.
Good luck to them, yeah. All right, so that is the
(38:21):
tactics competition. Whoa.
I get stretchered off the field.You do you get stretched, I get.
Reunited with Dorcas. You see Dorcas as he is in the
hallway and he sort of claps your shoulder very gently and
goes, you fought bravely, my lady.
So did you darkest I missed you the whole time you were gone.
(38:45):
All right. I thought about you while that
guy pile drives me into the ground.
He blushes. And yeah, Pepper winks.
From the stretcher. She's got game.
OK Valerian, from your seat at the judges table.
(39:07):
The other judges are gassed at the actions of Lady Pepper and
the high priest grab reel strokes his beard and he goes.
That young lady. I suppose I shouldn't be too
surprised after she was such a rushed addition and but not not
very ladylike behavior from her.Well, it is a tactics
(39:28):
competition. There is not much ladylike
behavior and war which is tactics primary battlefield.
You must admit she she showed cutthroatness that is required
on the battlefield. I see Hello Larry.
(39:50):
And you see him looking out overthe crowd, and his eyes settle
on. Well, I actually did want to
say. Yeah, Friedrich, what are you
doing? Well, my thought was actually
after recent events that rather than rejoining the crowd, I
might have perhaps sought out some place quiet to try and gain
(40:11):
a little control of my emotionalstate.
OK, we'll come back to you in just a second.
See. The high priest looks out out of
the crowd and was interesting. I wonder where her father has
gone. I know Frederick Lee used to
have a weak constitution. The fighting may have upset him.
He might be in the stables vomiting or something like that.
(40:35):
And as you say that, actually, you hear a desperate, like,
frantic knocking on the door to the judge's box.
Oh, OK. My God.
And Friedrich Burson, and he's dishevelled and sweaty and he
locks eyes with you, Valerian. And he says we need to talk.
(40:55):
You see, I just as I told you, he has that weak constitution.
He will need reassurance from 1 of Aloysius servants.
I will tend to him. Please my fellow Lords, enjoy
the the show in my absence. And he looks to address this and
he says I trust you with my votes, good Sir.
And then? You 2 step out into the hall.
(41:18):
Someone I was, there's another gang and they're they're trying
to steal the crown. I managed to stop after being
almost brutally attacked, havingmy throat nearly cut.
I managed to foil the attempt tosteal the diadem.
But I I believe we have company.And do you have the diadem then
(41:41):
though? Well, no, I had no chance to to
check in with the rest of you. I I thought we were planning on
Pepper winning the competition. I didn't want to draw more
suspicion. Valerian looks confused, He
says. You're telling me that you are
in the room with the diadem? You had the opportunity to take
it, but you didn't want to because you didn't have the
(42:04):
consent from the rest of the team to perform the ACT.
I don't care that you. Came here to perform.
You are. You're missing.
We could be going, we could be gone.
I didn't steal the crown becausewe're already under suspicion.
How would it look if if, if theygo to to check on their prize
and it's gone and we're here? I didn't know where you were.
(42:26):
I didn't know where Pepper was. I'm in the judges booth, but
I've been the whole time. OK but my point is and I'm just
like spluttering and actually you are starting to see smoke
like leaking out of my mouth andnose.
No, you haven't. OK.
I'll point to it. And I say, are you what?
What's that that's going on withyour face?
(42:47):
Listen, I'm under a lot of pressure and you're making me
feel even more wretched than usual.
Very clear. I you listen, I don't say this
to people very often, but you'refreaking me out.
I have a condition all right. That's that's obvious.
I'm sorry I'm under the influence right now.
(43:08):
Look, when I went and I, I checked on the diadem, I, I, I
was injured and I don't think I'm going to be at my normal
level of effectiveness for the rest of this endeavour.
I thought you said that she almost slipped your throat.
Yeah, she threw a knife at me and I show you my little my
little shallow cut. Valerian makes a face when he
(43:31):
sees it, and you can't interpretit exactly, but it basically is
the face of a man who is very high and knows that it would be
inappropriate to laugh right now, but cannot fully stop his
face from trying to laugh, although he does not laugh at
you. OK.
It's a complicated expression, fortunately, like Friedrich is
(43:51):
so wrapped up in his own bullshit that he does not even
notice he's not great at readingother people.
'S yeah, that's fair. That's fair.
So ultimately what you're telling me is that you saw the
diadem, there was another personthere trying to take it, but
it's from the train. Yeah, OK.
But she stopped her and sold. And I had the foresight to call
(44:13):
the guards and I let them know that she had made the attempt.
I believe that we can redirect the suspicion for the whole
affair onto this gang, or rathermaybe this woman in particular.
You know where she is, they haveher in custody or they do what?
OK. Maybe they have some sort of
Infirmary? But do you know what gang she's
(44:36):
from? Did you get any information out
of her? They torture her or what?
I like, I give him a look and I say good God no.
What did you do to her? I I was acting in self-defense,
OK. What did you do?
Well, I may have thrown a grenade.
Does Valerian know what a grenade is?
Probably not. Yeah, I know.
(44:57):
You're right. He wouldn't.
So he says. What is the grenade?
What's that? Read the description.
It's a small explosive charge with a short fuse that detonates
into metal shrapnel. Oh my God, it.
Was all I could think of. I didn't have anything else on
me to defend myself so. You did torture her.
(45:17):
I didn't torture her and she being tortured to.
Shrapnel. I wasn't able to get into any
information. That's the point you've.
Been on the battlefield before? I wouldn't see the battlefield,
it's not really my preferred method.
She'll die. Slow, painful death.
No, I I had to take her to the Infirmary.
I I don't kill women. Okay, well, it sounds to me like
(45:43):
we. Do I give up that vibe?
Like I kill, do you kill women? You asking me if you give up
that vibe? You know, I kill women.
I know like I have. And I've killed everybody.
I've killed children, I've killed women.
I've killed boys and adult men and old people and that's just
what happens when you rule a country.
It's just inevitable. You are responsible for the
(46:05):
death of many people. And I'm just going to throw out
that I had kicked myself down a a stress box in the in the
blowing up category from taking the time, but I'm going to take
that back up and I've just been looking at you and.
Like you're asking me if you seem like the type of person who
targets. Britain.
I don't want to know. I would say I don't know yet,
(46:26):
but I am on the fence and I'll let you know when I come to
conclusion, OK? And Friedrich just buries his
face in his hands. Anyway, it seems like we're of
net neutral, so like, you know, whatever, no harm no foul,
right? I just don't know if the the
(46:47):
diadem is going to stay where itis I.
It's probably not because I doubt she was working alone if
she's working with a group. Like if I was going to steal the
dye BIM and some like Twinkie guy put the grenade on me.
What is Twink? It means you're like tiny and
fuckable. And Friedrich like his face just
(47:13):
turns like bright red and he splutters.
To be clear, I don't want to fuck you, I'm just saying.
You're not my thigh, you're justtaking the.
Tip of war? And, and I think Friedrich's
(47:36):
just going to run now. OK.
And Valerian just kind of watches you go in, shrugs, and
he's like, I didn't think he wasapproved, but I guess maybe.
And he goes back to the judges. Book Stupid.
Fucking interaction. Absolutely.
Probably nothing was gained. Oh boy.
(47:59):
OK, Wow. Wow.
He's the biggest prude on Earth,by the way.
And he's already had to make peace with not wearing pants.
That's right. And then he was really fuckable
on the same day by a cowboy. By a cowboy.
All right, OK. All right.
(48:24):
All right, so Pepper, yes, you have been.
Having a normal one over. Here you've been having a normal
one. They've checked over your
injuries. Do they split my little ankle?
They split your little ankle, they wrap your shoulder that you
hurt when you got absolutely piled right and.
Covered in bruises. Yeah, you're, you're bruised.
(48:44):
And as you all move on to the next stage of the competition,
the final stage of the competition, the sun is
beginning to set. The sky is turned into a
beautiful sunset of Reds and oranges and deep Violet at the
top as the sun is beginning to set and the torches are lit
around the Colosseum. And you are helped to the stage
(49:08):
by a couple of attendants who are helping tend to your
injuries as you take the stage with the rest of the ladies for
the final competition of poetry.Fuck.
And now, the announcer says, we raise our voices in praise to
the great Aloysia in her art of verse.
(49:30):
Please, Princess Olympia, begin.Olympia calls out in a clear
voice. Shall it be how first Leto
delivered you gladdening mortals, When by the mountain of
Kinthios she lie on rock strewn island, Aloysia begot by the sea
(49:50):
with the sun, bright waves surging over her.
She held the dry land under the sharp breath of storm winds.
Thence indeed, having risen, sherules over all us mortals.
There's a round of polite applause.
Avlita follows up this verse with another one, and it has a
(50:11):
lot more like tongue twisting syllables than Olympia's.
It's clearly a much more technically difficult verse.
Dora then follows this with a verse that is completely unlike
the previous two, and it has a sweet, lilting gait and a catchy
rhyming scheme. The crowd enjoys this one, but
Valerian, your fellow judges do not seem very impressed by it.
(50:31):
So, Pepper, you're up. Pepper is really confident that
her I heard skill in poetry is gonna be fine.
Yeah. How's your flow?
She would say it's really strong, so she has not really
done any preparations. Are you gonna freestyle it?
Slam poetry. I mean, she writes lyrics all
(50:52):
the time. Like she didn't get any help.
She didn't need any help. There's no flashbacks, there's
no trickery. There's.
Nothing. It's not sabotage and it's not
gonna need to be sabotaged. OK.
And I don't have any feelings about poetry or any past or
prior relationship with poetry. And so I definitely couldn't
help you if you did ask me to, OK?
She steps out and I assume there's like, is there like some
(51:15):
kind of like spotlight? Yeah, I think you step out into
a ring of torches. OK, she kind of looks down and
she goes. Awful.
And she looks around and trails and spilt out at your feet.
(51:38):
You're cold, forsaken. A heart, cursed heart to beat.
Damn. Valerian wasn't interested at
first, but now he's like, oh, arrive, arrive.
Arrive. You live on regardless.
(52:00):
Encompass in age, encompass in fair.
Unrelenting, unrelenting. And she takes a step back from
the circle of torches and says acage.
And then she hurries off stage. I'm trying to I'm trying to like
(53:03):
I'm trying to work through the fact that that I have called
Friedrich like fuckable, but. It takes time to work through.
That it's time to work through it.
OK, so my dumb corporate icebreaker, like if your
character for this new campaign,so if they were like an animal,
what animal would they be? And I know like you're going to
say cat Juniper, but there's a lot of oh, OK, 'cause I was
going to say there's a lot of different breeds and types and
anyway, all. Right, all right, let's just do
it. Let's go around the table.
Oh, and you could do whichever one of like if you want to do
(00:21):
Charles Rex oh. I have.
I'm going to do it for the character of the narrator who is
a character. Oh fun, who's going first?
I can go first if you guys want because I already had a chance
to. Think about it.
Yeah, I actually look up the animal that I'm thinking of.
I was thinking of, so you know how there's like really cool
birds of prey, but then there are like the like tiny little
birds of prey and it's like it'slike a hawk or a Falcon or
(00:44):
whatever, but it's like, so it'sa small and it's just a little
guy. Yeah, I think that one of those
stupid little one. Of those stupid little guys.
Creature. That's creature.
Like a little owl. Like a grumpy little owl.
Yeah, one of. Those yeah 1.
That's really small. Yeah, those vicious killer owls,
but they look like they're just like a little.
Barb Yeah, a little one of thoselittle bitches.
Yeah, OK, sorry. I'm still thinking.
(01:06):
Yeah, no, everyone now we're we're all thinking about like,
yeah. I know.
Give me a minute I. Have other ones if that helps.
Yeah, to come back, OK, because I heard a song the other day
where I was like, this is very apartment.
So if there's a song that you would associate with your
character. So I do have one for that.
Actually, I have a whole freaking playlist.
(01:26):
I knew it. Of course, and I've been
listening to that on repeat for a long time.
But for the entire campaign I have a song that is.
I have basically thought throughframe by frame of what a intro
for the campaign would be. An animatic.
Yeah, like an animatic and it isthe song Sinner by the Last
(01:50):
Dinner Party. So that's like my whole
campaign. But, and this is a redacted, I
will not tell you which character this is, but the song
from the start by Laffy. Also, I said I was going to do
this for the narrator, but actually I am going to change
that. The train is the character that
I am going to answer for, for the what animal would it be?
(02:11):
And it would be an aquarium octopus that is very fond of its
caretakers. You know, like the ones where
you see videos where it's like the octopus loves its caretakers
but also will break out of its tank and do a million crimes a
minute. That's so.
Interesting of the song that I heard that made me think of
(02:32):
Friedrich. It's explode by Mother Mother.
Oh yeah, that's a great. Song, but it's funny, I'm like,
I feel like almost all the lyrics fit really well, except
there's a bit about having sex and I'm like, there's no way.
This man does not fuck. But outside of that, dead on.
Dead on, all right? I need, I need answers from my
friends. OK my other friends.
(02:52):
I have I have an animal. Yeah, what's your animal for
Valerian Civet? Oh yeah, that.
Makes sense like again. They're like cats that look like
they should be beautiful little cuddly friends, but then they
are. They're evil and they like look
kind of weird. They.
Like that they're like, not. They're like in one of the.
Cat families. But they're not like, they're
like a raccoon cat. Yeah, they're like a weasel
(03:13):
raccoon cat. Yeah, those are cool cats.
I can't wait to see the furry fan art for everyone's
characters. We I don't think we've ever
gotten anthro fan art. Well, we will now, because we
will. We have AI welcome tail.
I welcome it. We got a bitch with a tail.
I don't know. I mean, for pepper, it's like
the stereotypical answer, but I do think of a dog specifically.
I think of like like a borzoi like like a really like.
(03:36):
I would, I would have said like a beautiful, like one of those
coppery golden retrievers. Oh yeah, sure.
Wait, why the? Borzoi, tell me more about.
Just because like they're like dumb, they're like weird and
they seem like they've lived like 1000 lives and like have
like secret pain do. You guys have songs for your
characters? Well, the first one that came to
mind for me was that one fuckingPanic at the Disco song.
(04:00):
Oh. Did you know that?
Yeah, yeah, 'cause I think it was actually one of my songs for
Torva. Oh it.
Probably was. So funny.
It's literally called Emperor's New Clothes.
Oh wait, I think I know that one.
I mean, I think like maybe the lost song, make your own kind of
music. Oh yeah, that one.
Yeah, man. Good ass fuck I didn't.
(04:20):
Know it was in lost, yeah. Like it's famously in Lost.
I've never seen Lost and I was like, why are you calling it the
Lost song? It's famously in Lost ohh.
I had one more which I was goingto ask if you had a Tumblr post
that you would have so. I couldn't think of one off the
top of my head. That's fine, I had the idea
because of course I saw the fucking Reddit screenshot about
the lentil sky. Lentil sky.
(04:43):
That's right. I mean, if you want to know the
first thing that popped into my head when you asked that
question, and I have no basis for this, and I can't say that
it would genuinely represent Valerian in any way, but it is
the they crave that mineral goatmeme.
I don't know why. But that's sure that's a mineral
he craves. I think it's more, I feel like
it's more that Valerian's assumption about people is that
(05:03):
they crave that mineral. Yeah, probably, actually.
Yeah. He's more like trying to figure
out which mineral they crave, and then he's trying to seize
the means of production. Oh actually, yeah, the for the
train the Tumblr post is ask notfor whom.
The Vengabus is coming, and it'scoming makes.
Perfect sense, great post. Great post.
Great post. Yeah.
(05:26):
You OK? No, I was looking at Tumblr
posts. Peppers is a post that Cat made.
Oh, it's tearfully adding a new tag to my blacklist.
I'm sorry, beloved Mutual, you've gone somewhere I cannot.
Follow. Well, Speaking of my Tumblr and
my beautiful Tumblr posts, let'splay Blades in the Dark.
(06:17):
Hello, my name is Kat and I am Drachita.
Hi, my name is Noel. I play Pepper.
She's. A rail Jack Hi, I'm Jumper and I
play Valerian who's a slip and slide.
Hi. Hi, I'm Errol.
I play Friedrich Vice who is a Leech.
All right, my beautiful Leech rail Jack and slip and slide.
(06:38):
Before we get started, why don'tyou guys talk through what you
have on your notes? Okay, my note says Frederick,
Elise and Pepero. My notes in here says there is a
man with a sword. I am high, get the sword.
Yeah, you were flirting with Sword Man.
Yeah, I was flirting with Sword Man.
Yeah, and I got us all. That's right.
And then we write that down. We're doing a deception score.
(07:01):
We're trying to get the diadem. If we win, there's four judges.
There's the high priest Gabriel.There's the hero Adrostis, who
has the special sword. Well, they're all high now.
Yeah, there's Bo Bangles I forgot about.
My. I want you guys to know the
notes are like high priest gavril hero adrostis has special
(07:21):
sword go vanglies question mark question mark question.
Mark, just another priest. I had to come up with a name.
And Valerian, of course, has taken the place of one of the
judges. And then in the competition, the
contestants are Olympia, the Princess who's bad at stuff but
friendly, Javelina, who's rich and mean, Bettini, who is a
(07:42):
temple acolyte and is also kind of mean, and Dora, who's part of
the commoner class and decent atstuff.
And then of course, we've got Peppera also competing now.
Yep, Yep. And that stuck in the stables.
Yeah, that did happen. I did get out.
You got out, that's like, that'swhere we left to do that.
You got out of the stables because of your actions with the
horses. Frederick for Trickles Poutini
(08:04):
is out. Oh yeah, she's like out of her
fucking leg or. Whatever.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. There was a that.
Was crazy. Yep.
And the other lady also like gotinjured I think.
She got injured, but she's not injured enough to be out.
Yeah, Pavlina. So all that's left is poetry and
tactics because we've done archery, cherry tearing and
music. We got tactics in the bag.
But also people are suspicious of us now because we've done
(08:25):
some weird shit. Yes, you guys have the six
clock. Temple suspicion is 4 out of 6,
and the lady's suspicion is 3 out of six.
So you guys are some suspicions are being raised because you
guys have been doing some crazy shit.
And then the last thing that happened you saw a strange woman
who you suspect of being from never nowhere breaking into a
(08:48):
room inside the Coliseum. So of course you followed her
straight to the Sun Queens diadem.
And that is where we are now. She has slit the guards throat.
You have just walked in on her in the secure room in the
Coliseum. The other two guards have been
distracted by your smoke bomb, at least for now.
(09:08):
Fuck OK, I'm glad I fucking followed her.
You come into the room and she makes eye contact with you and
you can see her do the same calculation that you did where
she sees like, oh, this guy doesn't belong here, I also
don't belong here. And she looks at the crown and
she goes, I see, are you here for that too?
(09:29):
I am already fingering in my bandolier for a grenade.
OK. All right.
But as I do, I say yes, How would you like to negotiate?
Well, unfortunately I'm working on commissions, so I'm afraid
there is no negotiation and she is going to throw a dagger at
(09:49):
you. OK.
So you are going to have to resist if you do not want to get
a dagger in you, my friend. All right, cool, I can do a
resist. How does that work again?
So either you will take a level 2 harm of stabbed.
Yeah, No thanks. But if you want to resist this,
you will use one of your character's attributes, Incite,
Prowess, or Resolve. I would say this is Prowess to
(10:11):
resist the consequences of getting stabbed by a dagger.
So however many pips you have inthat, that's how many dice you
roll. Okay.
And so it's going to be 6 stressto resist, and you will subtract
whatever your highest number from your role is, and that's
how much stress you'll take to resist this.
Okay, 6. Hell yeah, Errol, this is your
(10:33):
game. Apparently my D sixes aren't
cursed, it's only my D20. Yeah, I guess so, because that
was a level 2 harm. Actually, you will only take a
level 1 harm instead, and that will be a shallow cut.
Geez, I better throw my fucking grenade at this lady.
All right, what do you want to do for your action role there?
May I? Tinker you.
(10:56):
You may tinker, you may tinker you may tinker.
This is going to be a desperate and standard effect 6 Holy shit.
And make sure you mark experience for taking a
desperate action. Fuck you.
OK, yeah, you throw a fucking grenade.
(11:16):
And yeah, it has the expected effect of hurting this woman
very badly. It also has the expected effect
of everybody in the building. So Pepper and Valerian, you hear
an explosion go off from somewhere deep within the
building as you 2 are getting set up for the tactics contest.
And I should clarify, it's not like a huge grenade, you know,
(11:38):
It's like a little. Like a dimmer?
Grenade. I just want to clarify it's a
small explosive charge with a short fuse that detonates into
metal shrapnel. Right, like a.
Grenade. Like a grenade.
Grenade. Yeah, I.
Just want to like a standard baris how loud it is or is it how
many? Like as loud as a grenade?
How? About as loud as a grenade.
It's like if a grenade went off in this building.
Like as loud as that. How loud as that, Friedrich?
(12:00):
The room explodes into plaster dust and shrapnel, and you hear
a high keening wave as this woman is impaled by shrapnel.
And what do you do from here? As you're looking around, you
see the table has been upturned,the crown where it had been like
swaddled in like a beautiful sort of like silk pillow.
(12:21):
It has been tossed to the floor and is in the corner now.
I know what I want to do. Yeah.
So she's kind of like, incapacitated somewhat, right?
Yeah. I'm going to go ahead and grab
her wrist and I'm going to wait for the guards to come.
Interesting. So you're not going to going to
go for the crown, you're going to stick with the plan here, OK.
I mean, I haven't had a chance to communicate with the others.
(12:43):
OK, all right, all right, so yougrab her wrist and I.
Look at her and I look in her eyes and I look guilty.
And she looks up at you and her eyes are just full of hate and
tears and she grits her teeth and goes.
(13:04):
So I guess the new guy's got some teeth.
I don't take any pleasure in it.You should learn to and what is
she going to do? I mean, it was a, it was a
pretty hardcore grenade, I think.
You know this, But it had shrapnel.
It had shrapnel, Yeah. I don't know.
I think it's probably not. It's like a.
(13:24):
Small explosive. I'm pretty much full of
shrapnel. It causes an explosion.
Tiny little explosive. Yeah.
Just barely there. But I will kick her if I have to
the. Shrapnel.
The shrapnel was like little slivers.
All right. I mean, she's pretty well
incapacitated by this grenade and.
Yeah. I mean, what level of harm would
you say that is? I would.
I mean, I'm going to say that's probably a Level 3 harm.
(13:45):
So the guards come pouring in and they point their Spears at
you and her, Friedrich. All right, I hold her wrist and
I say I apprehended this thief attempting to steal the diadem.
And one of the guards says, who the hell are you?
And I'm going to have you roll an action roll to get yourself
out of this, Friedrich. I think the best thing for me to
(14:07):
do here is sway. And even though I've taken a
fair amount of stress, how much stress is it to push yourself
again to kind of think I better?So yeah, this seems important.
So how many stresses do you haveleft?
I'm three. OK, OK, highest is 4.
(14:28):
What? Does that mean, OK, that is
success with a consequence. OK, So what do you say to them?
They asked who the hell are you?Yeah, I say.
My daughter is competing in the festival and I I saw this woman
very suspiciously sneaking past the guards.
I I apprehended her attempting to steal the diadem.
Fortunately, I had my personal defense mechanism on hand.
(14:52):
And I think the consequence hereis that you are going to up the
suspicion again, because what kind of thing did you have on
you that made this big explosion?
They really look at you, Friedrich, now as you're here,
covered in plaster dust with hisinjured woman, supposedly the
father of one of the contestants.
And they kind of look at each other and go, what happened
(15:14):
here? But they're going to let you go,
one of the guards says. Sir, let me escort you back to
your seat. The tactics competition will be
beginning soon and we'll need tointerrogate this woman.
I look back at her and I say make sure that she gets medical
attention. Of course, Sir.
And the woman looks at you. The look in her eyes is anger,
(15:37):
yes, but it is also betrayal, like what you have done to her.
Here, she feels betrayed. I mean, I don't even fucking
know her so. You don't, but she's another
member of the train and. We're not supposed to do this to
people on the train. I mean, she was going to kill
me. I won't elaborate further other
than that there may be things you don't know.
(15:59):
Oh God. All right, so Friedrich the
guard escorts you back to the main arena just as Pepper you
are being escorted out in a person recession with the other
ladies. You've changed.
They've put you into a new costume and it's loose sky blue
robes belted at the waist with golden chains again, except for
(16:21):
Dora, who wears undyed robes andwooden chains that have been
painted silver. The.
Fuck. So as you come into the arena,
Pepper, you are met with a team of five men who are all armed
with blunt Spears. They help you stand up atop a
platform where you can see a battlefield which has been set
(16:44):
up with wooden obstacles around a center stage.
The stairs have been taken away from the center stage and there
is a black and silver flag planted in the center.
The announcer calls down from a box at audience level and he
says welcome to the tactics competition.
Each of our remaining contestants must direct her
(17:04):
troops to try to capture the flag of Nicella.
Goddess, it's the blackest night.
Now before you get too worried my dear audience, these weapons
are not sharp, for the Goddess has commanded that no blade shed
blood on these holy days. And Friedrich, as he is saying
that you are coming back in covered in plaster dust, having
(17:26):
just done incalculable amount ofdamage.
Yeah. And I, I think I'm going to go
ahead and mark two more on my. On your personal.
My personal vapor clock because I'm going to count 1 for being
fucking hit with a knife and then a second for having to
throw a grenade at a. Killer woman.
Yeah, a little bit, which means I have one left, so that'll be
(17:49):
fun, all right. Announcer continues.
Now whoever's troops managed to capture the flag will be the
winner of the competition, and it is a winner takes all
competition. Those who do not manage to
capture the flag will receive nopoints.
Now ladies begin. So Pepper, you have a troop of
(18:10):
five soldiers. As soon as the announcer says
begin, have Lena points her troops directly at you and yells
charge. Jesus, OK Pepper is not
comfortable in this kind of a situation.
She would definitely have gottenhelp.
OK, sounds like maybe a flashback is called for here.
(18:33):
Yes, perhaps a flashback. Yeah, Valerian, you're the
tactics guy. Yeah.
Would I roll for that then? Or would.
Pepper would take the stress forthe flashback, but if there's
something you're going to do during the flashback, you will
roll for it. OK.
I think I was thinking like getting tips and tricks
beforehand. A montage, perhaps?
Tactics training montage. Yeah, because we knew this was
(18:55):
coming. Yes.
And I think our best bet would be for Pepper to know things to
do on the fly. OK, I'm just going to charge you
one stress for that. OK, let's play out that scene a
little bit. There's no secret weapons you
can. No, there's no secret weapons.
It's just that Pepper asks Valerian for tactical advice,
and she regrets it immediately because Valerian would begin
(19:19):
giving her first the full history of his domination of the
Empire, which is, it's very impersonal.
It's taught like a history lesson.
He doesn't give you like any fun, like drama tidbits.
It's just like this took place and then this took place and
then this took place. Yeah, but like what?
I'm very. Curious about what took place?
(19:41):
So he started out as a pauper, OK, He was a rat On the streets,
he was a rat. He was a rat.
Catcher. Yeah, and you get the sense that
he's not telling you the full story about that, but he uses it
to inspire you by saying, like, you know, even I was small once,
and even a small rat on the street can grow to become king,
empire, emperor. I'm not a rat, but okay.
(20:04):
You know you're a paper, so. Hey.
Don't interrupt me. And so then he would tell you
about how he uses good looks andhis charm to befriend people and
specifically to make people feelbad for him.
He was very good at looking likea sad little boy who needed to
be taken care of, and so he got the attention of nobles.
This doesn't seem very helpful so far.
(20:25):
Just wait. You have to wait till I get to
the part where we were at the war, because that happens later,
OK? It's important to understand how
the beginning happens, even if. It's not helpful.
It's helpful. Shut up, don't talk anymore.
I'm giving you a lesson. And then basically his ultimate
position is that he gets to be the commander of a faction of
(20:48):
the original prince's Knights. So he has experience performing
various maneuvers for the original Prince because they
were at war with another Kingdomat the time of his reign.
And how did he, as a knight, handle getting charged?
Valerian's advice to you would be now, if you're being
targeted, it is important that you first of all, don't let that
(21:09):
happen, but. What if it does happen?
If it happens, that is what yourretinue of Knights is for, to
protect you from the charge. And then you send your best
Knights to target the individuals because the army is
nothing without the general. You take out the general.
The army is just bumbling bullshitters.
(21:31):
So you go for these other girls.You slit their throats.
You send your best men directly after them.
You tell them do not engage withother Knights.
You go directly for the source, the leader.
You take the head off. How do I tell which one is the
best knight? You look for the one who is not
(21:51):
the biggest OK and not the smallest.
OK, medium. The one who, when you give
orders, you want the one that does hesitate for a moment, just
a moment. You don't want the one that
gives you talk back, back talk. You want the one that hesitates
just a moment and then follows through because that one is
(22:14):
thinking, and you want the one who thinks to go after their
head. OK, so the one at the medium
night, the medium night fast andmedium fast.
Medium fast, medium big hesitates but follows the order.
Does not give back talk. The one who gives back talk, the
one who follows order without hesitate.
That's your medium. That's yeah.
(22:35):
The other ones are the ones you send to the.
Medium, OK. Shut up.
No, listen. The ones who are not hesitating,
that's your father. I love the medium no.
That's your father. Stop.
OK, alright, alright, so. Well.
You guys that preparation that you took one stress for?
Yeah, Do I? Take any stress from no.
(22:57):
I took one stress this is going.To say, I think Valerian was a
little. I don't know how much help that
gave you Pepper, but you I'm. Going to follow a direction.
It was solid. It actually.
Was, you know, at first I was like, I don't know what's going
on here, but eventually I was like.
He got. There.
Yeah, I was like that. So what that would mean is
Pepper has prepped her guys in advance, right?
(23:17):
Yeah. Like did I get to meet them?
Before, yeah, I'll say you guys got like a couple minutes to to
talk through your tactics. Before and I was like measuring
them and I was like too big, toosmall, just right.
You're focused on the least important part of this.
So she like buddying up to the medium size?
(23:41):
God damn it, Emma's going to die.
Yeah, she shit. What's the medium sized night's
name? His name is Dorcas.
I'm so mad. I'm so mad.
Dorcas is going to get you killed, Pepper.
Oh, Dorcas, would you say when someone gives you orders, do you
listen right away, Do you yell at them, or do you do something
(24:04):
in the middle? I would like to think that I
will follow my commander's orders as long as those orders
do not endanger myself or my men.
Darkest you're perfect. Pepper like touches his face and
she's like wow. So, flashing back to the
present, you are being charged by Pavlina's troops right out
(24:27):
the gate. She sends her troops to you.
Yeah, and I've talked to Dorcas about get to whoever is like
being aggro towards us. You go attack.
That woman, okay, and you see him hesitate because he has been
told to attack a woman. Does he hesitate?
(24:48):
But then he follows the orders, right?
He does. He.
Does the Valerian said. He breaks away from the the rest
of your team. I'm going to have you make a
roll here though, Pepper. What about Sway?
Yeah, I think sway counts. Or a consort, I mean.
Because you made friends with Dorcas, Yeah.
And he wants to protect me. He wants to because I called him
medium size and he loved that. He loved.
(25:08):
Really like he. Said he was perfect.
Yeah, I did say he was spermic. That was maybe more the more
medium. Size and perfect.
Men love to be told they're medium.
Size. They're medium and perfect.
Darkest is love that all right? My highest is A5. 5 All right,
that is a success with a complication.
(25:28):
OK, so Darkest darts out as yourother nights warm up around you
to protect you. And he charges straight for
Pavlina who has left herself completely exposed.
And he goes in and he ceremonially bunks her with his
dull spear and she cries out andshe immediately goes, Oh my
shoulder, you broke my shoulder.You've broken my shoulder up.
(25:53):
Vicious, Vicious. Dorkus.
And the announcer calls time unnecessary roughness.
Please remove him from the fieldand you have lost Dorcas.
What the fuck? Valerian stands up in the stands
and he's like Fall. No, that was a valid play.
That was a valid tactic. Get out, pick it out.
(26:16):
Who about the ref? Pepper is like holding out her
hand towards Dorcas as he gets dragged away.
So Dorcas is removed from the competition, but.
No, he was my most medium sized not.
But you've got one of them that Pavlina is also out as she has
(26:37):
been struck down from the competition and she is crying
big crocodile tears as a healer comes out to assess her
injuries. Do I get her guys?
No, you don't get her guys. Her guys are now gone.
Her guys all kind of look disappointed as they were like
just about to and they were excited guys and they were
really excited. And then they all have to like
put down their Spears and walk away and.
(26:58):
They're gone against a master date.
So here's a thing. Pepper also would feel that she
has kind of done too well and soher aim isn't really to win,
it's just to do well enough to be in the top.
But we won't get the crown if we.
(27:19):
You don't have to win first place in everything not in.
Everything. Oh, I see what you mean.
You don't want to win this competition.
You already. Did lose music?
I didn't lose music. But she is out in front.
Oh, you didn't? No, I did a bad job, but I still
want. Got it.
That's right. So you got an I.
It's not our fault that they don't understand music.
It's literally not our fault. So you're aiming for second
(27:41):
place in this Yeah, competition.Yeah, Capsticks competition, OK.
Like she wanted Dorcas to succeed because she loves him,
but. Maybe a little relieved, yeah.
All right, so how do you manifest this?
I don't know, like she's very obsessed.
Dorcas is really the only one she talked to.
She doesn't have any plans for these other guys.
(28:01):
She's like looking like trying to figure out who the new medium
sized night is. But she wants to see what are
Olympia and Dora doing? They are both maneuvering their
men towards the flag in the center.
Olympia has sent two men to circle around to try and get
behind Dora's guys as they make a very straightforward charge
(28:22):
for the flag. OK, they're doing the obstacle
course stuff. They're going up the little
wooden wall, and then people come up behind them and start
trying to pull down the guy who's on top of the wall.
OK, so they're involved in a skirmish.
All right, is there any way to avoid the obstacles in a
coward's fashion? You're going to have to do some
obstacles, but you can do different obstacles.
OK. What are my options?
(28:43):
So there's the climbing wall that everybody's on right now.
Approaching the stage from the other side is a balance
obstacle. OK, Think the floating steps in
Ninja Warrior. You know, like they have to like
leap from. Pepper would be really good at
that, I think. You know what, Pepper, this is
not her strong suit. Her strong suit is do it
(29:03):
yourself. And she's lost with that Dorcas.
And so she's going to say with me, and then she's going to run
out into the obstacles. Hilarion puts his head in his
hands. Hello lovely people, This is
(29:25):
Noel from the podcast and I'm here to bring you your mid roll
announcements information. I I first of all, would love to
tell you that we have a sale going on over at our store.
So if you go over to legend larkdot store, you can get 15% off
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(29:46):
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(30:06):
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So you've got a little time, butnot not unlimited time.
So get on over to Legend Lark Death Store.
I also would love to thank new patrons who have joined on since
last time that goes out to partly Tiresome Walnut, Mia and
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(30:27):
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If you are a listener who has never checked out our Patreon, I
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Plus we have like outtakes and deleted scenes from every single
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(30:50):
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or Legend lark.com/patreon, whatever suits you fancy.
Over on Spotify, I would like torespond to, I guess, a couple
comments. Spotify, it's either hiding
(31:11):
comments that mention Grease or it's, it's hiding the word gay
and the word cat boy. And you know, it's hard to say
which. So Crow made the very salient
point that it would be harder tofind someone in an ancient
Greece inspired world who is nota little bit gay.
And for their correct opinion, they were silenced.
(31:34):
But Crow, I'm here to respond and I'm here to say hell yeah.
And I know that Adrossis is gay.Gay is in gay is hot gay.
It's going to be and Harho made our other hidden comment for
this episode, which said this episode really shows that the
ancient Greeks are hitting themselves on the head that they
didn't invent cat boys, which I don't know if we have definitive
(31:56):
proof that ancient Greeks didn'tinvent cat boys.
But thank you guys so much for your comments that were swiftly
hidden by Spotify. But you'll never be silenced on
the ledge alert. Podcast so.
We love you, we cherish you and Speaking of interacting with our
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(32:20):
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But actually, you know what we have like a TikTok too, I guess
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(32:43):
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follow us up and we will cry andjoy and and rejoice every day.
And last of all, a message to the beautiful Chantal.
(33:04):
Chantal, I feel like I said thislast time, I freaking love your
cat and I can't wait to see her again.
Mitzi, if you're out there, I know that you're a tiny little
fluffy sleeper agent too. Chantal, the code word is
braxiatel. And with that, the sleeper agent
is active. Go.
(33:36):
And she's going to lead them across the floating stairs.
So all right, what action are you going to use for this?
Could I do prowl? Yeah, we can call it Prowl.
You know, it's the same sort of skill set as if you were like
jumping around on roofs. Yeah, this is standard effect,
and it's risky. Yeah, it's risky standard.
OK. My highest is a four.
(33:57):
Okay, that is a success with a consequence.
So you lead your men across these floating steps and you
make it. But on the last step you trip
and you twist your ankle. Please take a level 1 harm of
twisted ankle. Jesus.
But you have made it to the platform with the flag.
Nice. And you hear the announcer go.
(34:19):
And Lady Pepperah has made a bold and unusual decision to
charge the field herself. Certainly a unusual tactic for
one of our fair ladies. And you hear Olympia scream
enrage. Olympia OH girl enrage out
there. And she commands her men to
(34:40):
leave the others behind. Just go, just go.
And so the one man who was up already on top of the wall, he
abandons his fellows who were trying to get up, and he turns
towards you and your men who arecoming across and he is going to
charge you. Well, you know what?
Pepper looks back. Are her guys with her or has she
just left them behind? I think she has fucking left him
(35:01):
behind. I think that is that is part of
your for there is that you charged ahead of them and
they're all still trying to makeit across this balance obstacle.
And she's like, holy, Dorkas washere and she is going to tackle
this guy. OK, well what actor are you
using for that? I guess skirmish.
(35:23):
OK, I love this skirmish. What do you have in skirmish?
I have. 1. Got one in skirmish?
All right, roll one dice. Are you going to push yourself?
Do you want a devil's bar again?I'll push myself.
OK, 2 stresses. Take two stress and one extra
dice. For the whole thing to tackle
this man, before I tell you whatI got what, what was the
(35:48):
standard of their effect and. Oh yeah, this would be, I would
say actually this is going to beAI think it's a desperate
standard. OK, I got a 2.
Oh OK, well take take experiencefor taking a desperate action
and as a two you gosh pepper everybody admires your gumption,
your plucky can do attitude. They love.
(36:10):
It they love it. They love to see a woman trying
to tackle a full grown soldier, a big muscular man.
And that man just fucking pile drives.
You are taken down and you are taken down hard.
I'm going to give you another level 1 harm that is going to
(36:33):
drive. Yeah, pile drives.
And it is. It's truly one of those moments
where the crowd is going. Oh, and.
Literally turns into the WWE. Oh, and you are just taken down.
Now now is that man removed frombattle?
(36:54):
I don't know how. Much is how much is pepper?
Gonna. I have to ham it up it.
Probably does hurt. I was going to say, I don't
think it's really an act. I.
Think Pepper is like I think shelike can't.
Move. Yeah, I.
Can't breathe? And the soldier I made here, he
like, he kind of realizes like, oh shit, I fucked up.
And barely he's like, oh shit, he's like, Oh my lady, are you?
(37:18):
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
I grabbed onto the front of his uniform.
Yeah, and the medics come and they rush you away and he is
taken out for excessive roughness.
And as you are carted away, yourmen are out.
And let me just do a quick fortune roll.
Valerian, you are watching as Pepper has just.
Absolutely. I stopped watching as soon as
(37:39):
she took her men into battle. Like he's had his head in his
hands the whole time. In fact, he's starting to feel a
little sick because of how high he is.
OK. And I think after a brief
struggle, Olympia's soldiers make it to the flag and they
take it and hold it high in Olympia.
She cheers. She's so happy.
(38:01):
Yay. She's finally won something
legitimately. Actually, she was really angry
before though. That's it.
Seen that side of her were screaming.
In rage. I mean, she did say she wants to
marry that dude. Oh yeah.
That's right. God, and I want her to marry
that dude. Me too.
Yeah, so you don't have to marrythat dude.
Good luck to them, yeah. All right, so that is the
(38:21):
tactics competition. Whoa.
I get stretchered off the field.You do you get stretched, I get.
Reunited with Dorcas. You see Dorcas as he is in the
hallway and he sort of claps your shoulder very gently and
goes, you fought bravely, my lady.
So did you darkest I missed you the whole time you were gone.
(38:45):
All right. I thought about you while that
guy pile drives me into the ground.
He blushes. And yeah, Pepper winks.
From the stretcher. She's got game.
OK Valerian, from your seat at the judges table.
(39:07):
The other judges are gassed at the actions of Lady Pepper and
the high priest grab reel strokes his beard and he goes.
That young lady. I suppose I shouldn't be too
surprised after she was such a rushed addition and but not not
very ladylike behavior from her.Well, it is a tactics
(39:28):
competition. There is not much ladylike
behavior and war which is tactics primary battlefield.
You must admit she she showed cutthroatness that is required
on the battlefield. I see Hello Larry.
(39:50):
And you see him looking out overthe crowd, and his eyes settle
on. Well, I actually did want to
say. Yeah, Friedrich, what are you
doing? Well, my thought was actually
after recent events that rather than rejoining the crowd, I
might have perhaps sought out some place quiet to try and gain
(40:11):
a little control of my emotionalstate.
OK, we'll come back to you in just a second.
See. The high priest looks out out of
the crowd and was interesting. I wonder where her father has
gone. I know Frederick Lee used to
have a weak constitution. The fighting may have upset him.
He might be in the stables vomiting or something like that.
(40:35):
And as you say that, actually, you hear a desperate, like,
frantic knocking on the door to the judge's box.
Oh, OK. My God.
And Friedrich Burson, and he's dishevelled and sweaty and he
locks eyes with you, Valerian. And he says we need to talk.
(40:55):
You see, I just as I told you, he has that weak constitution.
He will need reassurance from 1 of Aloysius servants.
I will tend to him. Please my fellow Lords, enjoy
the the show in my absence. And he looks to address this and
he says I trust you with my votes, good Sir.
And then? You 2 step out into the hall.
(41:18):
Someone I was, there's another gang and they're they're trying
to steal the crown. I managed to stop after being
almost brutally attacked, havingmy throat nearly cut.
I managed to foil the attempt tosteal the diadem.
But I I believe we have company.And do you have the diadem then
(41:41):
though? Well, no, I had no chance to to
check in with the rest of you. I I thought we were planning on
Pepper winning the competition. I didn't want to draw more
suspicion. Valerian looks confused, He
says. You're telling me that you are
in the room with the diadem? You had the opportunity to take
it, but you didn't want to because you didn't have the
(42:04):
consent from the rest of the team to perform the ACT.
I don't care that you. Came here to perform.
You are. You're missing.
We could be going, we could be gone.
I didn't steal the crown becausewe're already under suspicion.
How would it look if if, if theygo to to check on their prize
and it's gone and we're here? I didn't know where you were.
(42:26):
I didn't know where Pepper was. I'm in the judges booth, but
I've been the whole time. OK but my point is and I'm just
like spluttering and actually you are starting to see smoke
like leaking out of my mouth andnose.
No, you haven't. OK.
I'll point to it. And I say, are you what?
What's that that's going on withyour face?
(42:47):
Listen, I'm under a lot of pressure and you're making me
feel even more wretched than usual.
Very clear. I you listen, I don't say this
to people very often, but you'refreaking me out.
I have a condition all right. That's that's obvious.
I'm sorry I'm under the influence right now.
(43:08):
Look, when I went and I, I checked on the diadem, I, I, I
was injured and I don't think I'm going to be at my normal
level of effectiveness for the rest of this endeavour.
I thought you said that she almost slipped your throat.
Yeah, she threw a knife at me and I show you my little my
little shallow cut. Valerian makes a face when he
(43:31):
sees it, and you can't interpretit exactly, but it basically is
the face of a man who is very high and knows that it would be
inappropriate to laugh right now, but cannot fully stop his
face from trying to laugh, although he does not laugh at
you. OK.
It's a complicated expression, fortunately, like Friedrich is
(43:51):
so wrapped up in his own bullshit that he does not even
notice he's not great at readingother people.
'S yeah, that's fair. That's fair.
So ultimately what you're telling me is that you saw the
diadem, there was another personthere trying to take it, but
it's from the train. Yeah, OK.
But she stopped her and sold. And I had the foresight to call
(44:13):
the guards and I let them know that she had made the attempt.
I believe that we can redirect the suspicion for the whole
affair onto this gang, or rathermaybe this woman in particular.
You know where she is, they haveher in custody or they do what?
OK. Maybe they have some sort of
Infirmary? But do you know what gang she's
(44:36):
from? Did you get any information out
of her? They torture her or what?
I like, I give him a look and I say good God no.
What did you do to her? I I was acting in self-defense,
OK. What did you do?
Well, I may have thrown a grenade.
Does Valerian know what a grenade is?
Probably not. Yeah, I know.
(44:57):
You're right. He wouldn't.
So he says. What is the grenade?
What's that? Read the description.
It's a small explosive charge with a short fuse that detonates
into metal shrapnel. Oh my God, it.
Was all I could think of. I didn't have anything else on
me to defend myself so. You did torture her.
(45:17):
I didn't torture her and she being tortured to.
Shrapnel. I wasn't able to get into any
information. That's the point you've.
Been on the battlefield before? I wouldn't see the battlefield,
it's not really my preferred method.
She'll die. Slow, painful death.
No, I I had to take her to the Infirmary.
I I don't kill women. Okay, well, it sounds to me like
(45:43):
we. Do I give up that vibe?
Like I kill, do you kill women? You asking me if you give up
that vibe? You know, I kill women.
I know like I have. And I've killed everybody.
I've killed children, I've killed women.
I've killed boys and adult men and old people and that's just
what happens when you rule a country.
It's just inevitable. You are responsible for the
(46:05):
death of many people. And I'm just going to throw out
that I had kicked myself down a a stress box in the in the
blowing up category from taking the time, but I'm going to take
that back up and I've just been looking at you and.
Like you're asking me if you seem like the type of person who
targets. Britain.
I don't want to know. I would say I don't know yet,
(46:26):
but I am on the fence and I'll let you know when I come to
conclusion, OK? And Friedrich just buries his
face in his hands. Anyway, it seems like we're of
net neutral, so like, you know, whatever, no harm no foul,
right? I just don't know if the the
(46:47):
diadem is going to stay where itis I.
It's probably not because I doubt she was working alone if
she's working with a group. Like if I was going to steal the
dye BIM and some like Twinkie guy put the grenade on me.
What is Twink? It means you're like tiny and
fuckable. And Friedrich like his face just
(47:13):
turns like bright red and he splutters.
To be clear, I don't want to fuck you, I'm just saying.
You're not my thigh, you're justtaking the.
Tip of war? And, and I think Friedrich's
(47:36):
just going to run now. OK.
And Valerian just kind of watches you go in, shrugs, and
he's like, I didn't think he wasapproved, but I guess maybe.
And he goes back to the judges. Book Stupid.
Fucking interaction. Absolutely.
Probably nothing was gained. Oh boy.
(47:59):
OK, Wow. Wow.
He's the biggest prude on Earth,by the way.
And he's already had to make peace with not wearing pants.
That's right. And then he was really fuckable
on the same day by a cowboy. By a cowboy.
All right, OK. All right.
(48:24):
All right, so Pepper, yes, you have been.
Having a normal one over. Here you've been having a normal
one. They've checked over your
injuries. Do they split my little ankle?
They split your little ankle, they wrap your shoulder that you
hurt when you got absolutely piled right and.
Covered in bruises. Yeah, you're, you're bruised.
(48:44):
And as you all move on to the next stage of the competition,
the final stage of the competition, the sun is
beginning to set. The sky is turned into a
beautiful sunset of Reds and oranges and deep Violet at the
top as the sun is beginning to set and the torches are lit
around the Colosseum. And you are helped to the stage
(49:08):
by a couple of attendants who are helping tend to your
injuries as you take the stage with the rest of the ladies for
the final competition of poetry.Fuck.
And now, the announcer says, we raise our voices in praise to
the great Aloysia in her art of verse.
(49:30):
Please, Princess Olympia, begin.Olympia calls out in a clear
voice. Shall it be how first Leto
delivered you gladdening mortals, When by the mountain of
Kinthios she lie on rock strewn island, Aloysia begot by the sea
(49:50):
with the sun, bright waves surging over her.
She held the dry land under the sharp breath of storm winds.
Thence indeed, having risen, sherules over all us mortals.
There's a round of polite applause.
Avlita follows up this verse with another one, and it has a
(50:11):
lot more like tongue twisting syllables than Olympia's.
It's clearly a much more technically difficult verse.
Dora then follows this with a verse that is completely unlike
the previous two, and it has a sweet, lilting gait and a catchy
rhyming scheme. The crowd enjoys this one, but
Valerian, your fellow judges do not seem very impressed by it.
(50:31):
So, Pepper, you're up. Pepper is really confident that
her I heard skill in poetry is gonna be fine.
Yeah. How's your flow?
She would say it's really strong, so she has not really
done any preparations. Are you gonna freestyle it?
Slam poetry. I mean, she writes lyrics all
(50:52):
the time. Like she didn't get any help.
She didn't need any help. There's no flashbacks, there's
no trickery. There's.
Nothing. It's not sabotage and it's not
gonna need to be sabotaged. OK.
And I don't have any feelings about poetry or any past or
prior relationship with poetry. And so I definitely couldn't
help you if you did ask me to, OK?
She steps out and I assume there's like, is there like some
(51:15):
kind of like spotlight? Yeah, I think you step out into
a ring of torches. OK, she kind of looks down and
she goes. Awful.
And she looks around and trails and spilt out at your feet.
(51:38):
You're cold, forsaken. A heart, cursed heart to beat.
Damn. Valerian wasn't interested at
first, but now he's like, oh, arrive, arrive.
Arrive. You live on regardless.
(52:00):
Encompass in age, encompass in fair.
Unrelenting, unrelenting. And she takes a step back from
the circle of torches and says acage.
And then she hurries off stage. I'm trying to I'm trying to like
(53:03):
I'm trying to work through the fact that that I have called
Friedrich like fuckable, but. It takes time to work through.
That it's time to work through it.
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