January 26, 2025 • 51 mins
Kayla Bellman, Owner and Founder of Finca to Filter, joins the podcast to share her coming out story and how she started her very own coffee shop in Atlanta.
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Finca to Filter Instagram
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/lesbian-chronicles-coming-out-later-in-life--5601514/support.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
I'm Ali. I came out after twenty years of marriage
and I have three kids.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
I'm Melissa and I have two kids, and I came
out at thirty seven after an eleven year marriage.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
This podcast is about coming out later and the struggles
and victories that come with it.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
When coming out feels like the end of the world,
but it's really just the beginning.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
This is the Lesbian Chronicles. Welcome to the Lesbian Chronicles. Hey,
I've got my front, my sleepover for I.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Now we're having a sleepover tonight.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Yeah, you're the only sleepover I repeatedly have that. I know,
nothing ever happens.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
I'm sorry. What would I do to liven it up
a little bit?
Speaker 1 (00:50):
I don't know. Maybe you go, I don't know. You
don't even really dance. Yeah, yeah, you're kind of just here,
kind of enjoying the amenities.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
I guess maybe the amenities a lovely place.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
So oh please, Well anyway, so drag brunch.
Speaker 3 (01:04):
Yeah, last week we went to the drag brunch the
Dolly Parton's birthday.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
I know, do you know? I?
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Okay, so do you know that from the beginning of Queryoki,
I've begged people, begged to do Islands in the Stream
with me really, like literally like when every.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Time I go on, like who's gonna that's? What do
you want to do? Yeah? And then no one ever
wants to do it.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
People like that Superver once asked me to do this. Well,
really surprising. Well, so anyway, then I realized first of
all that it's a super popular song, Like lately, I'm
seeing it all the time on Instagram. That might just
be my algorithm. But were you there for us doing
Shaka Khan? When I lost my plea for Islands in
(01:45):
the Stream.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
And we had to do I think it was fucking terrible.
People were literally like.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
No, well there was one where we went up there
that Teddy played a joke and put your name on. Yes,
that's this, that was Shaka Khan.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Yes, it was terrible.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
I was wondering island that was because I was like
listening to it and I kept waiting for the hook,
and I was like, does something sounds familiar?
Speaker 1 (02:07):
But it's not terrible.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
You knew wanted that is Jamie. Oh my god, that
was so really bad. That's embarrassing. Someday that I'm going
to fall in love and I'm going to have my
partner and I are going to go up and do
islands in the stream one day, one day.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
It's happening anyway. But the brunch was amazing.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
The brunch wasn't a huge thank you to Marianna for
having everybody.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
I know.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
Marianna hooked us up big time.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Huge, And I guess I should say huge thank you
to Melissa for putting her credit card down.
Speaker 3 (02:31):
Dude, Seriously, I'm like, at least I got the sky miles.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
I don't know if the mouth is also. The bottomless
mimosas were a total rip off. It was like I
ordered a mimosa and it was like nice, heavy poor
on the champagne. It was great, and I was like,
I should get bottomless. I moved that and then it
was like pure orange juice, and the lady kept ignoring
me from then on out.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Yeah, She's just like, dude, you got the bottomless You're
getting no attention.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
And then I made the mistake of not looking at
the tail bill and just paying it. And then later
on I was like, I think we got charged for
a lot of things that we didn't actually like for sure.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Remember there was like two of everything coming out.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
I know that's the other thing bringing us to.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
And I was like, I.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
Think there's a problem with your system.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Yeah you did say that.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
Yeah, because I was like, we keep getting two entrep
and I never coffees, yeah, and then yours never can.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
I have to say, even with the bottom list that
I was drinking, I was getting drunk, yeah, a little bit,
and that never happens to me.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
It was a little tipsy, yeah, but there must have
been something. There was a little splash of champagne, and
there's a.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
Splash of champagne.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
But mostly I liked it because of Islands in the
Stream and Parton and I like Dolly Parton too.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
I don't like country music, but I do like Dolly.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
You know, you must hate when you're over here because
I love country and it's like.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
Oh, let me tell you. Last night I went and
played trivia again with my family. Yeah, my ex husband,
his wife, her ex husband are kids.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Who's the smartest in the group, just out of care.
Speaker 3 (03:55):
Like no, it's it's a mix of both. Although me
and my kids we did like come in second place,
just the three I remember big. I will live that forever.
But so part of the trivia is that they play
songs and you have to guess who the artist is.
It was like NonStop country music.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
I would crush it and like yeah, and they were
they were getting them, and I like me and Tom
are looking at each other like sorry, no idea.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
I don't know why I like it because I'm like
the anti.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
I'm like such a city person, like I shouldn't like
country music, but for some reason, it's like the stories
to me are the lyrics.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
Are always so good, that's so funny that I'm into it.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
I'm on this song now that Reed showed me Cowgirls
by Morgan Wallen.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
I'm sure I think that one played last night.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
Okay, what was funny? To stop with it?
Speaker 2 (04:39):
I'm here and like they're saying, oh yeah, that's Morgan Wallen.
I'm like, oh that's Morgan Wallen.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
And this is lu Bryant. I'm like, oh that's Luke Bryant.
I'm like, I have zero clue. Yeah, I don't even
know who to like suggest right, So.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Well, yeah, I guess because I don't know, Like I
just I end up liking country.
Speaker 3 (04:56):
Do you know me's saying the original version of Knocking
on Heaven's or oh no, so that was the first
one they did, and I was like, oh.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Wait, oh, guess who's saying cocaine Eric Clapton, It's he's
the second time. No, it was Led Zeppelin, I think
knocking on Heaven's Store saying the second one.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
Okay, maybe we'll have to google this right and we.
Speaker 3 (05:19):
Could be incorrect. Sorry, Bob Dylan the original and.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
I'm listening to it, and that's the first person I said,
was Bob Dylan.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Yeah, no, no, no, it's not Bob. I'm like, trust me.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
And then I just left it empty and then it
was Bob Dylan. I was so mad.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Did you have to let every I would like stand
get like Browny.
Speaker 3 (05:40):
I told you, I'm like, I think Tom's sitting there
like I dodged the bullet with that one.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
Exactly.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Wait, knocking on Heaven's Store it if it's can we
we're gonna.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Have to google.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
I was gonna say I'm gonna google it because.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
I sort of do think. At some point he sag it,
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
Oh you are right, good job, Ali, Okay, that was
the laughter.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Sure whatever, Okay, so Eric Clapton for the.
Speaker 3 (06:11):
Wind, Yes, Eric Clapton, so good job, Thank you. Take
me you want to take me to but also trivia
Guns n' Roses. Oh yeah, I had a version.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Two, so okay, very good. But do you consider Bob
Dylan's not country?
Speaker 3 (06:27):
No? No, no, no, this wasn't. He wasn't. It was a
mix of both, okay, but mainly he was playing country.
Last night.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
I was just like, do you like Fleetwood Mac? Yes?
I do? Okay, I mean, like, do we align on anything? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (06:39):
I do like Fleetwood Mac. But I don't feel like
that's like purely country, like Johnny Cash. I love Johnny Cash.
So it be honest, Okay, be honest.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
When you come over here and we're not having the
party together, I know a lot of times it's you
and I both hosting together when you're here and it's
just me controlling the situation.
Speaker 3 (06:57):
Are you hating and I kind of tune it out?
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Okay? Yeah, I good to know. It's really rude.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
But it's super rude, but whatever, it least not complaining
or trying to change your music.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
No, you don't try to change the music.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
So there's that, But I don't know, it's it's more
so like the whiny country for me.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
I don't like that either, Like I can't do that.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
Alista will show up at six o'clock ready to have
like asses dropping and people.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
Yeah, I am like that, what is happening?
Speaker 1 (07:26):
And somebody this happened to them.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
I'm trying to the women from the suburbs. You knows.
I know that it's my calling to them.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
It's like it's and I get to get women from
like the early.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
Two thousands out of the dance floor. I like this.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
So but here even like even at my house, I'll
look at the clock, it's like seven o'clock and it's
like people are bending over and like stuff is going down.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
Gets too early for this.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
That's why I'm here.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
So you're here. Well, it's a good mix. I guess
we can go from Morgan Wallen to that in.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
The back to juvenilectly all right, well, do you want
to introduce our guests?
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Yeah, since you've noticed the law, I was going to.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
Say, I'm so excited about this. Kayla is joining us.
I've been trying to get Kayla on the podcast for
probably four years.
Speaker 4 (08:11):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
And you know what's crazy is that three people have
mentioned having Kayla on the podcast. So it's also like
interesting that it like it took the final. I mean
I would have done at any time, but your schedule
wouldn't allow. But the third person was like, you have to.
So then we were like, okay, I'll start texting, and
then I just text over and over.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
We just needed Ali at the helm, not me because
I'm a little bit like Okay.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
Yeah, well and welcome to the show, Kayla, I can
finally talk. Hi, y'all. Yeah, now you may speak.
Speaker 3 (08:41):
Now you may speak, Kayla.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Do you like country music?
Speaker 5 (08:45):
No, damn it, yes, I think also country music different
than like Zeppe or whomever, Bop Dylan, Eric country music,
Johnny tractors. That's how you define country music, Yes, country.
Speaker 3 (08:59):
I like this definition Johnny Cash. I don't feel like
his country because he's not talking about tractors.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
But do you know who Jason Isbela is no whoat
you on.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
Everything because he would be sort of considered. He's my
favorite of all time, there's no one better in my opinion,
is like a lyricist and just he's fabulous. But he's
not tractor.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
He's like singer songwriter bluegrass.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
I don't see.
Speaker 3 (09:27):
I don't like the twang. I don't like that little
instrument that I.
Speaker 5 (09:30):
Was like Okay, now I feel the need to correct myself.
Tractor equals white Man country.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
There we go.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Ye, give me one artist you would like that that's in.
That's sort of in the genre. Like, are you saying
no to all country? Are you saying if it's only
tractor country you're not into.
Speaker 4 (09:48):
Oh, I mean, for example, Beyonce's country. Okay, well yeah, okay,
give me another example. I have none. My pop culture
is about zero nice.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
That's good. Yeah, that's I think because my head is
filled with useless pop culture information. It's getting me nowhere.
Speaker 5 (10:08):
There's like the memes on the internet that always say
if someone tells you that they don't watch TV and
they think that they're better than you, and I'm like, no,
but I don't think that I'm better than you, audience.
But I really am like the person who doesn't watch TV.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
I don't what are you doing at night reading?
Speaker 5 (10:28):
I'm the biggest extrovert. I'm hanging out with people until i'm.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
Every nice to go to bed.
Speaker 4 (10:32):
Okay, I'm playing sports or reading?
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Okay, yeah, wow, that's honestly, though, my ex did take
all of she was the big TV person, so when
I broke up, I lost all my accounts to.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
Such a bumber. Maybe that's why you're not watching TV.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
I mean, you know what, I've realized that lately too,
because my streaming services are getting smaller.
Speaker 3 (10:55):
I don't want to have my mom's Netflix and Hulu.
But I'm like, I know, I'm like, who needs TV anyway?
Like I've got TikTok for now. So do you worry.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
Though that, like with the TikTok or any of it,
that you're like, it's too fast, Like it's almost like
it is messing.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
You need to sit for thirty minutes to an hour.
Speaker 3 (11:17):
It's hard to say wat.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
Yeah, it's hard.
Speaker 3 (11:20):
So we want that like constant thing.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
So it's true.
Speaker 3 (11:24):
But yeah, Kayla is a business owner. Tell us about
your business.
Speaker 5 (11:27):
Yes, yeah, So I am the founder and owner of
fink At a Filter, which is in.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
Which we all love in Atlanta big fans.
Speaker 5 (11:35):
Yeah, it's an Atlanta based coffee company. Our trademark is
queer and Caffeinated, so you might have seen hopefully folks
romping around the city and queer and caffeinated merch.
Speaker 4 (11:45):
I have, And yeah, we've been around for about five years.
Speaker 5 (11:48):
We started in the West End. Unfortunately had to close
that location after four and a half years.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
But we've got run. Yeah exactly.
Speaker 5 (11:55):
We've been around in the old Fourth Ward for just
over a year.
Speaker 4 (11:58):
And that stores.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
So fun.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
That's as gorgeous, thanks you.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
That is not It's like it's like you walking into
a fancy hotel with the perfect working conditions, the perfect coffee.
Like I've never seen a coffee shop like this, Like
I honestly haven't. Like what started it is our girl
group down here, I should say. Women, We're like, we're
gonna find a coffee shop to go work, Like we're
gonna like once a week try to work at a
coffee shop.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
And they were going on and on and they're like,
you have to come, you have to come. So finally
I'm like.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
All right, I guess I'll like leave the home office
and go. And then I walked in and I would and.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
They're all merched up. They also wear to Finka and
I walked in. I'm like, holy shit, you guys, like
now I get it, like with the dog like things
and like the huge windows. Who did the who designed it?
Speaker 5 (12:45):
So it was uh, it was a miracle. Honestly, we
were getting we were in a point of transition and
we were introduced to the folks who own the building.
They had just finished building and they had promised the
name that they were going to do retail that was
centered around what the community asked for, which was coffee.
(13:05):
Of course, then they figured out how hard it was
and they're like, oh, no, we're not. The neighbors are like, yeah,
yeah you are, and so we our name was put
in the hat and thankfully they chose us, and so
the space was really built out for us, and so
we walked in put our flare on it. So there's
lots of pink things now, but we really got to
(13:27):
walk in day one and be ready for service pretty much.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
I mean design. You've got to go in here.
Speaker 3 (13:32):
Yeah, I mean it's fantastic.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
It's better than any other place I've been in.
Speaker 3 (13:36):
That's amazing.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
Why haven't you been.
Speaker 3 (13:38):
I live in the city.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
When you do go, you gotta get.
Speaker 3 (13:42):
But yeah, I'm totally I do want to check it
out for sure. I did go to the old location
numerous times.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
I bet that was similar probably, I mean same branding. Yeah,
it was. It was small.
Speaker 4 (13:53):
It started as a pop up. So can I tell
you the origin story?
Speaker 1 (13:56):
Sure?
Speaker 5 (13:58):
So Finka started cut it by act. It was the
heart of the pandemic I was. I moved to Georgia
from I was then living in Guatemalau to go to
grad school. And after graduating in the heart into like
the heart of pandemic, I couldn't find a job to
save my life, and so I was lots of money
in debt and.
Speaker 4 (14:21):
Out of kind of pure necessity.
Speaker 5 (14:23):
Someone said, Kayla, do you want to start popping up
in the West End doing coffee on the weekends. And
I poured enough pour overs until I could buy a
baby espresso machine, and then I poured enough lattes.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
Wait a minute, time out, you're doing pourovers on the
belt line.
Speaker 4 (14:38):
Yeah, And that's how we started poreovers. Like what I'm picturing, Yeah, legitimately, Yeah,
what does that mean?
Speaker 1 (14:43):
It's like very fancy, but it's slow.
Speaker 4 (14:45):
It's it is slow, but at yeah point, I love it.
Speaker 5 (14:47):
Yeah, we were we were in the corner of a
brewery and we had ten guests.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
How are you keeping even hot?
Speaker 3 (14:53):
Even?
Speaker 4 (14:54):
Yeah, it was. We were making it per order.
Speaker 5 (14:57):
It was a laborious process, just like building a small
business is. But the it started to become something super
special because I really had nothing to lose because.
Speaker 4 (15:09):
Again I couldn't find a job. I already had enough debt, Like,
what was I gonna go any more into debt?
Speaker 1 (15:14):
Who?
Speaker 4 (15:16):
I asked myself what would it look like?
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Right?
Speaker 4 (15:19):
I asked myself what it looked like.
Speaker 5 (15:20):
To be able to show up fully as myself every
day to work. And that's what I tried to create
for myself. I never imagined doing more than just making
poor overs. And then we had enough success. You know,
ten poor overs a day turned to.
Speaker 1 (15:37):
Fit to help make it okay.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
So I just want to wrap my brain because I
love poor over coffee. My partner used to make like
and I'm very impatient, but she would be like I'm insisting,
like we're having that like that and it is like
next level, But how do.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
You is it? Like you and your partner, your business
partners sitting there and chair, Like, how do you even
set up? Does it take two people?
Speaker 2 (15:55):
It doesn't take two people, but I guess I'm trying
to envision, like what do you square?
Speaker 1 (15:58):
People pay you a square? Like you have none of that.
You're out there just pouring poor overs. Set the scene.
Speaker 4 (16:03):
Yeah, so well, my business partners, me, myself and I
it was just you yeah.
Speaker 5 (16:09):
Yeah, and so we thanks to Wild Heaven West End,
we weren't left into the elements. We were in this
corner of their brewery, tucked in and that's where I
started making these poor overs. And so folks were stoked
because then they got to sit in this empty tap yeah,
you know, click the keyboards all day and then end
(16:30):
with beer. So it was a perfect harmonious setup, which
I think allowed both that and folks really, I mean,
the West End is so gay, yeah, and so folks
really kind of cloppered them, clappered for and they saw
themselves in the brand and what we were like, what
we were trying to do, and so it saw not
(16:53):
instant but pretty immediate success.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (16:57):
Yeah, what's finka? Finca means farm in Spanish. Okay, oh,
very so farm to filter.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (17:04):
My friend brook Latham High brook Latham and I were
living in Guatemala and she I worked for Habitat for
Humanity and she worked in like social entrepreneurship.
Speaker 4 (17:15):
We both saw different parts of the value chain.
Speaker 5 (17:18):
And her sister lives in New York and so it
was when the farm to table movement was really big,
and we created a blog and we were just shouting
at the shouting at the void. Our moms were the
only ones who ever read this blog.
Speaker 4 (17:31):
But we called it, yeah, we called it at the
time Finka to filter. So fast forward six years later,
when I got the opportunity to start pouring coffees on
the weekends, I was like, I have to make an Instagram.
Speaker 5 (17:44):
It's twenty it's twenty twenty, right, we need my poorover
business needs an Instagram. Yeah, And I was like, well,
already have the Instagram. Think of a filter, and so
that's what the rest is history.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
And then when you switched from poor over to regular, like,
was that a thing? We're just seamless.
Speaker 5 (18:01):
I mean it was we bought a small we bought
a smallest breast machine, okay. And then suddenly customers were like,
can I work for you?
Speaker 4 (18:10):
And I was like, oh, okay, yeah, you're gonna be
working with me.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (18:15):
And then we slowly figured it out, and I've it's
definitely been uh uh, build the plane while you.
Speaker 4 (18:21):
Fly it, start up operation. Now we've got a little
bit more infrastructure to it.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
But so cool.
Speaker 3 (18:28):
Yeah, and you were really young when you started this too, Yeah,
twenty five, Oh my god, so amazing to me. Maybe
when I was twenty five, I could barely make it
to work at eight a m.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
Like what time would you probably did have to start
early if it's the coffee business. Yeah, yeah, Now where do.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
You get like how do you I'm sure you're where
do you get your coffee beans?
Speaker 1 (18:48):
Like? How do you do it? Yeah?
Speaker 5 (18:49):
So our shtick is that we work with Atlanta Roasters
and South really Southeastern roasters, Okay, and we pay particular
attention to Bipop Quick and Women Roasters. That's kind of
how we the lens that we try to look at
our whole value chain at and of course it's not
always possible, but it's about prioritizing, okay, kind of our
(19:12):
own communities and do they have to be though here
or is it like you're sourcing it for wherever. So
we are super proud to work with Portrait Coffee, which
is based in the West End. They're a fantastic team.
Their goal is to poor a new narrative and really
often coffee.
Speaker 4 (19:33):
Originates in Africa. Yet you very seldomly see black coffee
professionals in leadership and ownership positions, and it's really been whitewashed.
And so yeah, Aaron Khalead and team over at Portrait
do a hell of a good job. The product's fantastic,
(19:55):
and we've been partnering with them for years.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
That's really interesting.
Speaker 3 (20:00):
I feel like a lot of coffee businesses aren't thinking
about where they're coffee is coming from. No, you know,
and correct me if I'm wrong. Isn't there like a
lot of like kind of.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
Shady, shady business yeah, like well and people just being mistreated,
like the people working in the fields and all that
stuff like yeah, yeah, yeah, to get really grim.
Speaker 5 (20:23):
Yeah, coffee is amongst the many in like natural materials,
like raw materials that is super extractive. So I think
right now the industry's bar is to try to do
less harm and hopefully, especially in an era of climate change,
(20:45):
like we really need to flip and try to do good.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (20:49):
Complicated, Yeah, it's a it's a very complicated industry.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
Yeah, yeah, I would, I would think so. Right.
Speaker 5 (20:59):
So now, FINCA kind of works too, prong, right. We
really try to think about the product that we're creating.
But also one of the one of the things that
we offer to your point around kind of the spaces
that we try to build is thinking about how our
space facilitates communities, So we like to say that we
(21:21):
celebrate humanity's finest with specialty coffee and feel good spaces
because FINCA is at its heart very gay.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
Okay, and you guys do everyone there? It did feel
very gay in.
Speaker 3 (21:34):
There, yes, well, and you guys host a lot of
events too that are very queer centered.
Speaker 5 (21:41):
Yeah, and a lot of more so now even a
lot of queer centered groups host events at FINCA, which
has been a super fun transition to see them kind
of look to FINKA to be that safe space.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Yeah. Well, it's a great it's a killer location, and
it is beautiful. And the end side really where.
Speaker 5 (22:04):
In Boulevard Heights kind of above Grant Park Boulevard in
the belt Line.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
That's a great area.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
I wish you'd do it over here, I know, But
I guess this might be too close to your other space,
is it.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
No?
Speaker 4 (22:16):
And you might actually be closer to the news store.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Do you think? Yeah? Okay, I love it.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
Do you if you're a coffee person, I'm always curious
about this because I don't I don't drink my coffee black.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
I like put a lot of creamer in it.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
And yeah, I think you do, and I'm always like,
I feel like it's like the people that drink it
black are like real coffee people, and then here's me.
But how how do you see that because you're like
a professional.
Speaker 5 (22:38):
Oh my gosh, I think that there's gonna be a
lot of coffee professionals who feel who do align with
exactly what you're saying there, and I am not one
of them.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
Okay.
Speaker 5 (22:49):
I think you should drink whatever you like. Okay, I
think that that's really what we try to do. And
you're amongst the majority.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
Would you say? It's like I think I got a
chai there, but and I got a latte there, but
what did most people get? Lattes? Lattes vanilla or no vanilla.
Speaker 4 (23:07):
Vanilla is our best selling latta, followed by caramel.
Speaker 5 (23:10):
Okay, I haven't had that kind coffee shops make their
money on lattes.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
It's really good to know.
Speaker 3 (23:15):
And like, what is the top choice of milk, like almond, almond,
oat milk, oat milk?
Speaker 1 (23:22):
Yeah, I don't know. It's my daughter. My daughter is
very into she would have so much. She would be
loving this because she's very into farming. She's in Madrid
right now. But her whole.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
Her college major is farming. But she's also a huge
coffee drinker. But anytime we go to order coffee, like
just to like make me feel like shit, Like if
I get a regular, they'll be like, what kind.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
Of milk do you want? And she'll be like she
wants full fat dairy, full fat dairy for her, like
she wants to like point it out, like joking, but
like she always would get oat milk. But so it
is like a thing like drinking dairy milk.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
She'll have this one wants dairy, not me, them being mistreated.
Speaker 5 (23:59):
And this coffee shop that I love in nash Yeah,
Nashville called Matrioshka, you know, like stacking dolls, and they
have hats, one of which says queers for oat milk
and the other says queers for whole milk.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
So you can like vote with.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
Your Yeah, I can do oat milk too.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
I don't really honestly, I like.
Speaker 3 (24:27):
Both of them. I prefer almond almends good too.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
Almends good too.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
Well, let's talk about being gay, and like your tell
us a little bit about your coming out, like where
you're from, Like where tell us your your origin story?
Speaker 5 (24:40):
Okay, So I am technique. I was born in New Mexico,
raised in Arizona, Okay, went to undergrad in Arizona, and
then moved to Guatemala.
Speaker 3 (24:53):
What prompted that?
Speaker 1 (24:54):
I know?
Speaker 4 (24:55):
I I always thought that it.
Speaker 5 (24:58):
My intent was always work in international kind of relations,
relations and like humanitarian stuff, okay, And so I was
doing that and I loved that. But I kept being
enamored with the coffee industry because kind of, like you said,
it's it's complicated, and it's fucked up and.
Speaker 4 (25:16):
Climate and beautiful to look at exactly.
Speaker 5 (25:21):
So all for all of those many reasons, I kept
coming back to it, which is why I ultimately left
Guatemala and moved here to Atlanta, Georgia.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
What year? Like? How long ago? Eight years ago? Okay? Yeah,
you haven't really been here that long.
Speaker 5 (25:38):
No, long enough to have many commercial leases and own
a house.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
So do you love it here? Like? Would you say
I love Atlanta?
Speaker 4 (25:46):
I love it here?
Speaker 1 (25:46):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (25:47):
Me too, I have Yeah, Yeah, I'm obsessed. What side
of town are you?
Speaker 4 (25:51):
We're neighbors pretty much?
Speaker 1 (25:52):
Oh? Really? Wait?
Speaker 4 (25:53):
Where are you in kirk One?
Speaker 1 (25:54):
You are? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (25:55):
What?
Speaker 1 (25:56):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (25:56):
I guess I shouldn't saying.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
You're in my neighborhood. Yeah, like streets over or like.
Speaker 4 (26:07):
Yeah, interesting, I'll tell you off, Mike, tell me off.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
But I feel like I did the well, I sell
Kirkwood all every day because it is really I've lived
in a lot of neighborhoods in Atlanta. This is the
best one a lot of Yeah, it just is like
we have the we have a great village. We have
tons of gay people. I I just I go out
for a run. It's like everybody's nice. Like I don't know,
(26:31):
I just I fucking love it here.
Speaker 4 (26:33):
Yeah we're spoiled rott.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
Yeah, we're spoiled rotten. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (26:36):
Yeah, I don't want to dance around your question the
gay party somewhere along that cycle.
Speaker 4 (26:46):
I finally, I don't know if this is relatable to
either of you.
Speaker 5 (26:50):
I never allowed myself to like think about being gay.
Speaker 3 (26:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (26:56):
It was like once you.
Speaker 3 (26:57):
Say, little door in my brain that was very are
saying you.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
Didn't I knew I was gay, but I didn't let
myself think about it.
Speaker 4 (27:03):
Oh absolutely, like I would you did I know you
were gay?
Speaker 1 (27:06):
Though? Oh my gosh, yes, okay, so you you didn't
even know.
Speaker 3 (27:09):
I didn't even know, Like I knew I didn't go there.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
Yeah, I wouldn't let my brain go there.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
I'm like, yeah, I want to kiss her, but I'm
not even thinking about that, like I'm gonna date the boy.
Speaker 4 (27:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (27:19):
And but the moment that I like acknowledged it, floodgates
were open.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
How old were you?
Speaker 5 (27:26):
I was in my twenties okay, yeah, and immediately everyone
knew and I said, take her or leave it, and.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
This is me.
Speaker 3 (27:37):
Yeah, that's awesome.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
I know what was the pushback?
Speaker 5 (27:41):
I I'm a Scorpio and I'm very stubborn and I
didn't allow for there to be any pushback.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
Okay, so if any just not taking feedback, I'm just
not taking any feedback. Guys, Yeah, how do you do that?
I know that I'm a Scorpio rising. I just learned
this and someone told me that's more important than my sign.
I'm a Leo.
Speaker 4 (28:02):
Are we all bad? Kays?
Speaker 5 (28:03):
I'm like, I don't know my star co star is
all of them are Scorpio.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
So no way, okay, pain in the ass.
Speaker 3 (28:12):
Yeah, mine's like Scorpio and then cancer so it.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
Kind of levels you out.
Speaker 3 (28:18):
I think it does leave.
Speaker 2 (28:20):
Okay, so you come out, you make the announcement, you
basically tell everyone this is it. I'm not taking any feedback,
and then that they just go along to get along.
Speaker 4 (28:28):
Yeah okay.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
And then was that because you had this woman, so
you're like, it's worth it to me. So I didn't know.
Speaker 4 (28:33):
I didn't come out for a partner.
Speaker 5 (28:36):
I just kind of acknowledged came out and yeah, but
what was the impotence?
Speaker 1 (28:42):
There had to be like something going on.
Speaker 4 (28:44):
I opened the flood gates, okay.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
After you had like met somebody.
Speaker 5 (28:47):
No, No, I quite literally was just like, Okay, I
guess it's fine, you're gay, okay, And then I just had.
Speaker 3 (28:53):
To that's interesting. So there was like, no like someone
you saw on a TV show or some guy that
was like, I don't was Kate McKinnon?
Speaker 1 (29:01):
Mine?
Speaker 3 (29:02):
Mine did. And it took me about a year after
seeing Kate McKinnon to really fully processed what that meant.
But realizing that Kate McKinnon was gay, that was more
so that I was like, well.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
Wait, did you get I'm curious about did you have
sex dreams about women long before?
Speaker 3 (29:20):
You know? The only thing that I had that I
can like reflect back on is that I had this
crush on a girl that I just didn't know was
a crush. When I was like in middle school, I
was like kind of obsessed with her. I wanted to
be her that kind of thing, and it didn't register
with me at the time, like there was I did
not think about a boy to this extent by any means. Yeah,
(29:42):
there was like no way that I was gay.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
Right right, right, of course, of course not no, no. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (29:46):
My best friend growing up would be like, I want
to wear that T shirt tomorrow and say, okay, what
ever she Ye.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
What's she doing now?
Speaker 4 (29:56):
Married with two kids?
Speaker 1 (29:58):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (29:59):
Sorry, okay, So then you go on to have a
real relationship yeah.
Speaker 5 (30:04):
Okay, yes, and dated around and then dated my ex,
who is a wonderful person for about five years.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (30:15):
We always say like it is like that five six
years is when, like that was how long my long relationship?
I guess, not you, but no, it does seem like
something happens at that juncture.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
That's like telling I think, I.
Speaker 3 (30:30):
Mean, it's close to the seven year itch right right.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
But I feel like with women, like at least with mine,
it was like we knew. It was almost like within
the first year it felt like I'd been with.
Speaker 3 (30:38):
I was gonna say, I feel yeah, you know what
I mean. I talked about this. It's like I feel
like the first two years you're on your best behavior.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
Yeah you know, yere's.
Speaker 3 (30:47):
Three and four you're getting more of like what you're
really about, and then I think five six, seven, you're
kind of like horror path's going to go the same route.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
So do you feel like though, now that you've been
in some relationships and like I I now start out
with them, Listen, I'm really difficult.
Speaker 1 (31:02):
Like I mean, you know, I know, I'm a pain.
There's no good behavior anymore, Like I'm not.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
Meredith was at my house and I was like, these
are all the ways I'm weird, Like these are all
weird things I think about, Like this is just it, Yeah,
get used to it, or yeah, it's very difficult. I
literally said that to someone this week. I'm like, listen,
I'm really hard to get along with. I don't know
if you want any part of this.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
It's like, I'm not even trying to be on my
best behavior for two years. I'd rather just like get
it out of.
Speaker 3 (31:28):
The gate, and I'm really rather not waste my time.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
Yeah, okay, so that.
Speaker 2 (31:32):
Relationship doesn't last, but it secures in you that you're gay.
Speaker 4 (31:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:37):
Yeah, So now are you dating in Atlanta?
Speaker 4 (31:40):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (31:41):
What's that like? And are you on the apps? I'm
just curious. No, I know I'm not either.
Speaker 3 (31:45):
I feel like I was on. I've been on the
apps off and on lately. But it's stressful, it's not fun.
So I recommend it. But if you work at a
Queer Stars shop, hello, you're.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
Only meeting a ton of women.
Speaker 2 (31:58):
I know.
Speaker 4 (31:59):
She don't recommend shting where.
Speaker 1 (32:03):
Yeah yeah yeah, but how often does it happen where?
Like you do meet people that come up and you're like, damn,
I would date that person. I wish I could ask
that person out, like they are kind of just coming
through almost like a conveyor belt, like understanding here, like
just looking each one. Nope, Nope. In real life.
Speaker 2 (32:23):
You know what, when I have my work on mm hmm,
she can't have times a business?
Speaker 1 (32:35):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
People that work there are so nice, like I wish
I could remember the name of but I just I
felt like I was treated so well there.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
I'm glad to Yeah, it's good people.
Speaker 3 (32:49):
Now with your coming out, how did your family react.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
Even though you weren't listening? I mean, what were they
saying to me right.
Speaker 4 (32:59):
To completely honest.
Speaker 5 (33:01):
My mom responded, my mom and I are like best friends,
and she was like, how did I not know?
Speaker 4 (33:09):
I was like, Mom, just like, let me know right.
Speaker 5 (33:13):
And my dad the moment after I came out and
no one else was around, he said I'm sorry, and
I immediately knew exactly what he was talking about, like,
you know, like all of the insidious things that he
had said, or all of like the things that his
friends would say that he would regurgitate because I earnestly
do not think that he believed any of them, at
(33:34):
least at this point.
Speaker 4 (33:35):
He doesn't. He loves we just brought.
Speaker 5 (33:38):
I just bought a bunch of my friends to their house,
and he loved all of them like they were his daughters.
Speaker 4 (33:45):
And they were all very gay.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
It makes what makes somebody very gay as opposed to
gay here.
Speaker 4 (33:58):
But yeah, so that's kind of how they react. And
my dad said sorry, and I said, I know, yeah.
Speaker 5 (34:03):
And the idea of like everyone knowing a queer person,
everyone knowing and loving a trans person, like I think
that that really is true and people just often don't know.
And like for my dad's experience, once he realized it,
like that the light switch was on and he was
(34:26):
able to kind of un unlearn a lot. But for
whatever reason, we either tolerate it or it's allowed that
you can wait till a point of knowing and loving
insert you know, marginalized person here, and then once that happens,
(34:47):
like then you're tolerant.
Speaker 4 (34:48):
Then you're tolerant. But until then you live in this
world of like yeah, like it doesn't ignorance and intolerance.
Speaker 3 (34:53):
Yeah, it's very true.
Speaker 2 (34:55):
It's true though for even beyond gay I mean it's
like there's that proximity teaches us all kinds of things,
even just being a parent. I feel like before I
had kids, I would say all kinds of shit that
it's like nonsense. Now, like whence you have your own,
do you feel like that? Like when you look at people,
you're like I'm never going to do that, or I'm
like until you get in it, then you're like, shit,
I don't know, I'm no judgment for anyone.
Speaker 3 (35:16):
Now. In trivia last night, I was a cussing around
my kids. Yeah, like what am I doing? People can
hear me, but they don't they know not to say it,
you know, And like I don't know, they know it's
not directed towards them, no direct guess I'm a Dylan
answer exactly.
Speaker 1 (35:33):
Well that's cool. Yeah, I like that.
Speaker 2 (35:35):
To me, it's too everybody deserves redemption, so it's like
if he came around, yeah, then there's power in that,
especially that he said he was sorry.
Speaker 1 (35:43):
My dad never said he was sorry.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
But he was very accepting right away, more accepting really
than my mom, which is so interesting to me because
we're very Catholic. But my mom, I'm she's so soft and.
Speaker 1 (35:55):
Like easy and loving. But he was definitely more able
to take the news.
Speaker 4 (36:00):
Yeah, why do you think she had a harder time?
Speaker 1 (36:02):
And it wasn't harder, it was just less.
Speaker 2 (36:04):
She was more inquisitive in a way that felt judgy,
just kind of like wait a minute, so you want
to live with that? Like almost like the way she
was asking the questions were offensive and to me in
some way, whereas my dad was just like great, like
who you know, we're great, it's totally great.
Speaker 3 (36:24):
Yeah. I think sometimes like coming out later and you've
got this established like relationship, I think in their minds
initially they're like, okay, you're gay, but you're just gonna
do this like behind closed doors.
Speaker 1 (36:34):
Yeah, yeah, everything else.
Speaker 3 (36:35):
Gets to continue to happen, right right. That's probably like
where some of those questions come from, like maybe, wait
a second, are you gonna go.
Speaker 1 (36:41):
To live live with a woman? Yeah? Well it is
like Melissa always has that, Like when you come out
as gay, it's basically like announcing your favorite composition. It's like,
so it's so like that's how people act like they
sexualize it, and that's not it. It's like it's so
much more than that.
Speaker 2 (37:01):
So it's like to me, that's what's annoying is it's
like you're having to announce that to.
Speaker 1 (37:05):
Your mom and dady just what I like to do.
It's humiliate and.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
Then they don't reciprocate and share what there's you know exactly.
Speaker 1 (37:16):
It's just humiliating. I hate it.
Speaker 3 (37:18):
I think that should be the new norm. If someone
comes out to you, you have to be like, well,
my favorite.
Speaker 1 (37:23):
Is exactly her to hear folks, it's true.
Speaker 2 (37:28):
Well okay, so how long you said you were in
a relationship for a while and now you're single.
Speaker 1 (37:32):
How long have you been single? A little over a year?
Speaker 2 (37:36):
I believe, okay, and like tell me, like in Atlanta.
What do you like to like if you ask someone out,
what are you doing?
Speaker 4 (37:42):
Ooh, grabbing a drink? Okay, dinner too much? Where's your drink?
Speaker 2 (37:49):
Where?
Speaker 1 (37:49):
Where is your like place that you feel so good
that you can go.
Speaker 3 (37:52):
Oh, I don't have a place really, No, I did
that for.
Speaker 1 (37:58):
No, but I think that, but I guess something like
there are some restaurants that I feel really good in
such as so it's like I feel really good at
Kimball House, Like I love the bar there, I feel
safe there, Like I feel like I'm I don't know.
Speaker 2 (38:11):
I know it's going to be a beautiful atmosphere. I
know we're going to get good service. Like I look
great and.
Speaker 1 (38:14):
I look let's have this lighting room, let's have this
lighting debate.
Speaker 2 (38:19):
Right, that is a good Oh, talk to me about lighting.
Speaker 1 (38:22):
Because this is my obsession.
Speaker 4 (38:25):
You and I obsessed about the same thing.
Speaker 1 (38:26):
Really oh.
Speaker 4 (38:29):
Obsessed, obsessed.
Speaker 1 (38:32):
It breaks it, thank you, And this is when it
gets later. These will come way down, way down.
Speaker 2 (38:40):
So the point that like it is like we're having
an intimate conversation and it's dark and like I can
really get to know you.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
It's barely lit.
Speaker 2 (38:48):
This is like a thing every time Melissa and I
have a party, She's like, are you really making the
lights this low?
Speaker 3 (38:53):
No, I like a dim lighting, but I think it's
something like my eyesight.
Speaker 1 (38:58):
I'll get.
Speaker 3 (39:00):
It's like hard, but I am engracing.
Speaker 1 (39:03):
I got you. We have an expert, yes, the space curator.
Speaker 3 (39:07):
I got one of those GOV lights. Have you heard
of that brand?
Speaker 1 (39:11):
You with the party with a GoPro?
Speaker 3 (39:13):
No? No, No, it's not a go Pro. It's a
light that goes behind my TV and so it like
lights up behind the TV and I can change the
colors on it and stuff. But they sell like a
variety of different types of like lamps and stuff, but
they have ones that it like go on the corner.
They're just like this like kind of stick looking light,
but it creates this like really like light, smooth lighting.
(39:33):
And again you can change the colors on it.
Speaker 1 (39:35):
I don't know about the colors. You kind of lost
me with.
Speaker 3 (39:37):
The so I usually just do a white or like
a yellow hue. But like during Christmas, I had it
sept for green.
Speaker 1 (39:44):
Very nice, so very nice.
Speaker 2 (39:46):
Yeah, So I get I get some pushback on the
lighting here sometimes.
Speaker 4 (39:50):
No. I have a list of like restaurants that have the.
Speaker 2 (39:52):
Perfect lighting, yeah, or or awful lighting. So Kimball has
perfect lighting. I'm trying to think. I liked where we
where do we go? For the oysters? I thought they
had great lighting arg argonaut Okay, well that great lighting.
Speaker 1 (40:09):
Okay. I haven't been there, let's go. Okay, Okay, whoopsies.
Where is that?
Speaker 4 (40:13):
It's very near it is.
Speaker 3 (40:14):
You know.
Speaker 1 (40:15):
That's the other thing about me. I don't leave the
two hours I stay. I do any villages that are
near my village.
Speaker 3 (40:20):
Yeah, I'm like Bula, that's like my go to. But
I will say the lighting in there sometimes they do
dim it like at night, but I've been in there sometimes, like.
Speaker 2 (40:31):
Where it is really bright. Can't do it, but the
bar there is so cool, Like the people that work
there are really nice.
Speaker 3 (40:37):
Yeah, it's good.
Speaker 4 (40:38):
Is that your spot that is around so I don't
have to drive anywhere, and then you know you're safe.
Speaker 2 (40:45):
Like I don't want to go somewhere where I don't
know what's happening because then it's like I'm a little uncomfortable,
so I don't. I haven't been single very long, so
I also haven't had to.
Speaker 1 (40:53):
Do it yet. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (40:54):
Yeah, that's exciting.
Speaker 1 (40:55):
I know, it's kind of exciting.
Speaker 2 (40:57):
It's kind of exciting, but it's also like even talking
about it right now, I'm getting a.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
Chess, so maybe it's not. Maybe I'm not ready, I
don't know. I don't know. But if I do get ready,
I'm gonna go to one of my safe sp.
Speaker 3 (41:08):
Yes, exactly, you know the date spots, Kimball.
Speaker 1 (41:11):
Yeah, maybe maybe I'll bring him to FINCA.
Speaker 3 (41:14):
I think that's great.
Speaker 1 (41:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (41:16):
The amount of people that have fallen in love at Finca,
really it's up there.
Speaker 4 (41:19):
Almost accidentally.
Speaker 5 (41:21):
I have many of times accidentally like third wheels. Third
wheeled people's dates.
Speaker 1 (41:26):
Oh god, dude, squeeze in the booth.
Speaker 5 (41:27):
I one time, did I stay and drink wine?
Speaker 4 (41:32):
And then they're like happily still dating?
Speaker 1 (41:34):
Oh they are, okay, so it worked out.
Speaker 2 (41:36):
Yeah, okay tell me boy boy girl girl girl boy boy.
Speaker 4 (41:41):
It was two girls.
Speaker 3 (41:42):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (41:42):
I love this. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (41:43):
Wow, it's amazing.
Speaker 1 (41:44):
Yeah, that would be a good space for a date.
I haven't been to think at night.
Speaker 3 (41:47):
And you guys are serving alcohol now, yeah, that's awesome.
Speaker 1 (41:50):
How long are you open?
Speaker 4 (41:52):
Seven to seven?
Speaker 5 (41:53):
Exception of Thursdays, we still opened to eight because we
do like a wine night.
Speaker 4 (41:57):
It's a we call it flight night. Okay, so it's
natural wine.
Speaker 3 (41:59):
Fly night, fight night.
Speaker 1 (42:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (42:01):
I like it exactly.
Speaker 4 (42:02):
Okay, very funny. Thanks to do.
Speaker 1 (42:04):
Something there, totally. Yeah. Okay, so Thursday nights is.
Speaker 4 (42:07):
That Thursday nights five to eight. Yeah, it's really fun.
Speaker 1 (42:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (42:10):
I've been a lot of wonderful friends through it.
Speaker 1 (42:15):
And then can you drink on the job?
Speaker 4 (42:18):
I do not goodness drinking on the job?
Speaker 1 (42:20):
Really? I know.
Speaker 4 (42:21):
Do you don't have expensive insurances?
Speaker 3 (42:23):
Oh yeah, okay, okay, I don't like to drink on
the job either. Like anytime I've been at work and
they're doing like a party and they're like, yeah, there's
beers a break, I'm like, this is a trap. I'm
not following. I'm not doing it. I'm gonna go mess
up on some script and They're gonna be like it's
because you were drunk, even if trunk. Yeah, I won't
do it period.
Speaker 2 (42:42):
Yeah, it's probably really smart, Like people I really really
respect don't.
Speaker 3 (42:47):
Yeah, I mean I don't know, Like you know.
Speaker 2 (42:49):
The village idiot who's like always the drunk person at
the Christmas party.
Speaker 3 (42:52):
That's like, my, oh my god. I witnessed that one
of my first years, like as a professional, like in
an office we have the Christmas there was the drunk
idiot and I was like, that will never be don't
ever do that?
Speaker 1 (43:05):
Yeah, at work, right, right, and otherwise nobody wants to
hurt your feelings, so they act like it's okay, but
really it's.
Speaker 3 (43:11):
Like everybody's talk about it.
Speaker 1 (43:13):
Everyone saw you. Okay. So where so what Atlanta? You
would do drinks? Yeah, not coffee because to me, coffee
is easy too because then it's like quick and like
you don't have to worry.
Speaker 3 (43:23):
It feels too much like you're at work.
Speaker 4 (43:26):
Yeah, exactly, So no, I.
Speaker 3 (43:29):
Will say that black coffee. Do you know that place?
I've been there a few times on like Little Meat.
Speaker 1 (43:35):
We're not talking about the competition.
Speaker 3 (43:37):
This is on a different part of town though. So okay,
I feel like you guys would drive well together. Probably, Yeah,
but I think a coffee shop is a good spot.
Speaker 2 (43:48):
For or if you're Melissa, you can take them to publics.
Remember during the we had a like thing we're during
the pandemic. You were like, We're going to go for
a walk and then you're like, honestly, I have to go. Great,
you don't remember this conversation.
Speaker 3 (44:00):
Dude, I never did anyone to grocery shop.
Speaker 1 (44:02):
But you were joking.
Speaker 3 (44:03):
You were like, I didn't go to for a date.
Speaker 1 (44:06):
Okay, I did do that, that'd be kind of fun.
Speaker 3 (44:08):
It was like a second or third date.
Speaker 2 (44:10):
So for furniture, I forget something pretty small, like I
think I needed to grab something like picture frames.
Speaker 3 (44:17):
It wasn't anything like let's go buy my new kitchen.
Speaker 1 (44:20):
No, you know, but.
Speaker 3 (44:22):
That was our last date because she brought up these.
Speaker 4 (44:24):
Other people that she was dating, and I.
Speaker 1 (44:26):
Was like, that's weird.
Speaker 3 (44:27):
It was so weird.
Speaker 1 (44:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (44:28):
I was like, I Don'm not here for competition. Sorry,
Like I don't care if you're dating other people, but
don't sit here and tell me. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (44:34):
No, do you feel like both of you do you
know right away like you go on the date, Do
you know right away whether you're in it or not?
Speaker 1 (44:41):
Or do you feel like it takes a few dates.
Speaker 3 (44:44):
I think it depends on the person.
Speaker 1 (44:45):
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (44:49):
The more the more the more that I date, the
more I realized I don't know anything and I don't
know what I want really.
Speaker 3 (44:58):
Yeah. Okay, well that's interesting though, because I feel like
you're learning.
Speaker 2 (45:01):
Then yeah, so there's this interesting and it does morph.
Like what I wanted when I came out is completely
different than what I want now.
Speaker 4 (45:09):
What do you want now?
Speaker 2 (45:09):
I think what I want now is a very peaceful,
soft place to land at the end of a work day.
Kind I don't I understand.
Speaker 1 (45:20):
People like, oh, you want someone that like challenges you.
I decided, I know.
Speaker 3 (45:23):
I don't think I want that name.
Speaker 1 (45:24):
I want someone who don't challenge me, just you.
Speaker 2 (45:28):
We can challenge each other on like topics, but like,
I don't want to. I'm done with I don't want
to high anxiety or like passion is great, and we
had a lot of passion, but I think it also
led to a lot of anxiety. And I think I
really want peace. Peace in my house at the end
of the day. I want quiet. I like to watch TV.
(45:50):
I love to read. I don't want to have stress.
Speaker 4 (45:53):
I like that.
Speaker 1 (45:53):
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (45:54):
The only thing that I've ruled out or in Yeah,
actually it's just out is that I hang with me
that I conceptually won't date marathoners.
Speaker 2 (46:07):
Oh, because I'm a marathoner.
Speaker 4 (46:10):
Well imagine, okay, okay, tell me why this is bad.
Speaker 1 (46:12):
I want to know.
Speaker 3 (46:13):
No, I don't care.
Speaker 1 (46:14):
I'm a marathon or lots of marathons.
Speaker 5 (46:20):
I'm super high energy, okay, and so the idea that.
Speaker 1 (46:25):
This is unbelievable, I said, my one thing that's amazing
about me, like this is my go out at fifty
five my number one quality.
Speaker 4 (46:34):
It's a great quality.
Speaker 5 (46:35):
And for me, I can't fathom being so high energy
and then someone being like, yes, it's Saturday, it's my
day off. I'm going to go on a six hour
run alone and then come.
Speaker 4 (46:46):
Back to you exhausted.
Speaker 5 (46:48):
I already admitted I don't watch TV, so then what
are we gonna do? But you on, you want to
sit on the couch.
Speaker 1 (46:53):
But most marathon runners, I would say, they get entered.
Like my marathon training, I'm like, you're high after you
want to do stuff.
Speaker 3 (47:01):
Mine is more the issue of, like the amount of
time that it takes to go out like you do
one marathon. More so when I was in the height
of taking care of little kids. Okay, it's like I'm
gonna go run on my day off that I'm finding home,
But could you like my partner.
Speaker 1 (47:15):
Didn't marathon run, but she was a cyclist, so I would.
Speaker 2 (47:19):
Run, you guys, Yeah, while I ran, and then we
would like ben marathons are a thorough commitment though it is, guys,
come on, we don't.
Speaker 3 (47:28):
Have done it so many times at this point.
Speaker 2 (47:29):
I don't feel like I'm gone six hours. I might
be gone three.
Speaker 4 (47:33):
Okay, I don't. I will not.
Speaker 1 (47:36):
Marathon.
Speaker 3 (47:37):
She won't. She's not gonna date the slow ones.
Speaker 1 (47:39):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (47:41):
Maybe. What I love about training though, is that after
first of all, you've a runners high, but second of all,
then you're like, let's go fucking eat burritos and like
it just can MESSI yeah, dive in. Yes, but I've
just decided to stop eating so much.
Speaker 1 (47:56):
I know me too long run.
Speaker 3 (47:58):
I also can't zone out anymore. I've done half marathons.
I did that all during my twenties and thirties, and
it's like I cannot go on a long run and
just chill. Like it doesn't feel chilled to me anymore.
Speaker 2 (48:09):
Even if you have like a good podcast on no
I start thinking about all the things I should be
doing instead, and like I could do a much more
efficient workout in thirty minutes.
Speaker 1 (48:17):
Well what's more efficient, though, calorie burne.
Speaker 2 (48:19):
I'm just lifting weights in cardio at the same time,
all right, well I'm going to keep running guys.
Speaker 3 (48:24):
All right, you do you, you do you?
Speaker 1 (48:26):
What's your exercise of choice?
Speaker 5 (48:29):
I play a lot of sports, okay, soccer, pickleball, okay.
Oh my I joined a dodgeball, a gay dodgebally, so
it's stoweball.
Speaker 2 (48:40):
Yes, I played too, But then I was like, everybody
throws too hard.
Speaker 1 (48:43):
Really, these gay women they have to.
Speaker 3 (48:46):
It's like gnarly how hard they throw. Just don't get hit.
Speaker 1 (48:49):
I mean, just doll.
Speaker 3 (48:51):
I would think it is that simp. Sometimes you're just
not looking, It's true. Yeah, that threw me off guard. Also,
I do want to learn how to play pickleball. I've
been saying this for like two years and I haven't
done it.
Speaker 1 (49:01):
I still have your golf club, you do.
Speaker 2 (49:03):
I know.
Speaker 3 (49:04):
I had an audition for to be a golfer, of
damn it.
Speaker 2 (49:07):
You know.
Speaker 3 (49:08):
It's perfectly fine with like declining the audition because it
was like, now use your your iron and your potter.
Speaker 2 (49:14):
And I was like, lot, have you done pickleball here
in Kirkwood at the courts?
Speaker 1 (49:19):
Yes? Okay.
Speaker 2 (49:20):
Because I have a friend that I run with, she
who lives right here. She was like, we've got to
get someone to like we've played a few times, but
it's like I want to like know the things.
Speaker 1 (49:30):
So that I can legit show up game on. Yeah,
like if do you have someone like it's two against
two right.
Speaker 5 (49:36):
Yeah, I have a big gay gaggle that plays Saturday
and Sundays.
Speaker 1 (49:40):
Okay, I have a big gaggle myself over here.
Speaker 3 (49:43):
I know we need to come combineds here.
Speaker 1 (49:46):
Yeah, let's do it. Okay, pickleball it's on on that note,
Thank you, pleasure. This is great, good energy, good energy.
Speaker 3 (49:54):
Yeah, yep.
Speaker 1 (49:55):
I don't think we're gonna need much editing on this one. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (49:59):
Yeah, you should be very flattered.
Speaker 1 (50:00):
Melissa loves to wait till the guest leaves and then
tell us how big of a pain.
Speaker 3 (50:04):
That people are gonna be, Like, oh my god, that
is not true.
Speaker 1 (50:09):
She realizes it's us. It's mostly saying something super offensive.
All right, guys, have a good weekend. By later.
Speaker 3 (50:22):
I want to support the Lesbian Chronicles podcast.
Speaker 2 (50:25):
Rate us and write a review on Apple podcast or Spotify.
Speaker 1 (50:29):
We love listener feedback.
Speaker 2 (50:30):
If you'd like to share your story, email us at
Melissa and Ali at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1 (50:36):
That's Melissa M. E. L. I s A and Ali
A L l I at
Speaker 2 (50:41):
Gmail dot com, or follow us on Instagram at Lesbian
Chronicles
I'm Ali. I came out after twenty years of marriage
and I have three kids.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
I'm Melissa and I have two kids, and I came
out at thirty seven after an eleven year marriage.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
This podcast is about coming out later and the struggles
and victories that come with it.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
When coming out feels like the end of the world,
but it's really just the beginning.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
This is the Lesbian Chronicles. Welcome to the Lesbian Chronicles. Hey,
I've got my front, my sleepover for I.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Now we're having a sleepover tonight.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Yeah, you're the only sleepover I repeatedly have that. I know,
nothing ever happens.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
I'm sorry. What would I do to liven it up
a little bit?
Speaker 1 (00:50):
I don't know. Maybe you go, I don't know. You
don't even really dance. Yeah, yeah, you're kind of just here,
kind of enjoying the amenities.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
I guess maybe the amenities a lovely place.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
So oh please, Well anyway, so drag brunch.
Speaker 3 (01:04):
Yeah, last week we went to the drag brunch the
Dolly Parton's birthday.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
I know, do you know? I?
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Okay, so do you know that from the beginning of Queryoki,
I've begged people, begged to do Islands in the Stream
with me really, like literally like when every.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Time I go on, like who's gonna that's? What do
you want to do? Yeah? And then no one ever
wants to do it.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
People like that Superver once asked me to do this. Well,
really surprising. Well, so anyway, then I realized first of
all that it's a super popular song, Like lately, I'm
seeing it all the time on Instagram. That might just
be my algorithm. But were you there for us doing
Shaka Khan? When I lost my plea for Islands in
(01:45):
the Stream.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
And we had to do I think it was fucking terrible.
People were literally like.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
No, well there was one where we went up there
that Teddy played a joke and put your name on. Yes,
that's this, that was Shaka Khan.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Yes, it was terrible.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
I was wondering island that was because I was like
listening to it and I kept waiting for the hook,
and I was like, does something sounds familiar?
Speaker 1 (02:07):
But it's not terrible.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
You knew wanted that is Jamie. Oh my god, that
was so really bad. That's embarrassing. Someday that I'm going
to fall in love and I'm going to have my
partner and I are going to go up and do
islands in the stream one day, one day.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
It's happening anyway. But the brunch was amazing.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
The brunch wasn't a huge thank you to Marianna for
having everybody.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
I know.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
Marianna hooked us up big time.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Huge, And I guess I should say huge thank you
to Melissa for putting her credit card down.
Speaker 3 (02:31):
Dude, Seriously, I'm like, at least I got the sky miles.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
I don't know if the mouth is also. The bottomless
mimosas were a total rip off. It was like I
ordered a mimosa and it was like nice, heavy poor
on the champagne. It was great, and I was like,
I should get bottomless. I moved that and then it
was like pure orange juice, and the lady kept ignoring
me from then on out.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Yeah, She's just like, dude, you got the bottomless You're
getting no attention.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
And then I made the mistake of not looking at
the tail bill and just paying it. And then later
on I was like, I think we got charged for
a lot of things that we didn't actually like for sure.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Remember there was like two of everything coming out.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
I know that's the other thing bringing us to.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
And I was like, I.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
Think there's a problem with your system.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Yeah you did say that.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
Yeah, because I was like, we keep getting two entrep
and I never coffees, yeah, and then yours never can.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
I have to say, even with the bottom list that
I was drinking, I was getting drunk, yeah, a little bit,
and that never happens to me.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
It was a little tipsy, yeah, but there must have
been something. There was a little splash of champagne, and
there's a.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
Splash of champagne.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
But mostly I liked it because of Islands in the
Stream and Parton and I like Dolly Parton too.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
I don't like country music, but I do like Dolly.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
You know, you must hate when you're over here because
I love country and it's like.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
Oh, let me tell you. Last night I went and
played trivia again with my family. Yeah, my ex husband,
his wife, her ex husband are kids.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Who's the smartest in the group, just out of care.
Speaker 3 (03:55):
Like no, it's it's a mix of both. Although me
and my kids we did like come in second place,
just the three I remember big. I will live that forever.
But so part of the trivia is that they play
songs and you have to guess who the artist is.
It was like NonStop country music.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
I would crush it and like yeah, and they were
they were getting them, and I like me and Tom
are looking at each other like sorry, no idea.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
I don't know why I like it because I'm like
the anti.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
I'm like such a city person, like I shouldn't like
country music, but for some reason, it's like the stories
to me are the lyrics.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
Are always so good, that's so funny that I'm into it.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
I'm on this song now that Reed showed me Cowgirls
by Morgan Wallen.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
I'm sure I think that one played last night.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
Okay, what was funny? To stop with it?
Speaker 2 (04:39):
I'm here and like they're saying, oh yeah, that's Morgan Wallen.
I'm like, oh that's Morgan Wallen.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
And this is lu Bryant. I'm like, oh that's Luke Bryant.
I'm like, I have zero clue. Yeah, I don't even
know who to like suggest right, So.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Well, yeah, I guess because I don't know, Like I
just I end up liking country.
Speaker 3 (04:56):
Do you know me's saying the original version of Knocking
on Heaven's or oh no, so that was the first
one they did, and I was like, oh.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Wait, oh, guess who's saying cocaine Eric Clapton, It's he's
the second time. No, it was Led Zeppelin, I think
knocking on Heaven's Store saying the second one.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
Okay, maybe we'll have to google this right and we.
Speaker 3 (05:19):
Could be incorrect. Sorry, Bob Dylan the original and.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
I'm listening to it, and that's the first person I said,
was Bob Dylan.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Yeah, no, no, no, it's not Bob. I'm like, trust me.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
And then I just left it empty and then it
was Bob Dylan. I was so mad.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Did you have to let every I would like stand
get like Browny.
Speaker 3 (05:40):
I told you, I'm like, I think Tom's sitting there
like I dodged the bullet with that one.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
Exactly.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Wait, knocking on Heaven's Store it if it's can we
we're gonna.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Have to google.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
I was gonna say I'm gonna google it because.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
I sort of do think. At some point he sag it,
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
Oh you are right, good job, Ali, Okay, that was
the laughter.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Sure whatever, Okay, so Eric Clapton for the.
Speaker 3 (06:11):
Wind, Yes, Eric Clapton, so good job, Thank you. Take
me you want to take me to but also trivia
Guns n' Roses. Oh yeah, I had a version.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Two, so okay, very good. But do you consider Bob
Dylan's not country?
Speaker 3 (06:27):
No? No, no, no, this wasn't. He wasn't. It was a
mix of both, okay, but mainly he was playing country.
Last night.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
I was just like, do you like Fleetwood Mac? Yes?
I do? Okay, I mean, like, do we align on anything? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (06:39):
I do like Fleetwood Mac. But I don't feel like
that's like purely country, like Johnny Cash. I love Johnny Cash.
So it be honest, Okay, be honest.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
When you come over here and we're not having the
party together, I know a lot of times it's you
and I both hosting together when you're here and it's
just me controlling the situation.
Speaker 3 (06:57):
Are you hating and I kind of tune it out?
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Okay? Yeah, I good to know. It's really rude.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
But it's super rude, but whatever, it least not complaining
or trying to change your music.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
No, you don't try to change the music.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
So there's that, But I don't know, it's it's more
so like the whiny country for me.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
I don't like that either, Like I can't do that.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
Alista will show up at six o'clock ready to have
like asses dropping and people.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
Yeah, I am like that, what is happening?
Speaker 1 (07:26):
And somebody this happened to them.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
I'm trying to the women from the suburbs. You knows.
I know that it's my calling to them.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
It's like it's and I get to get women from
like the early.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
Two thousands out of the dance floor. I like this.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
So but here even like even at my house, I'll
look at the clock, it's like seven o'clock and it's
like people are bending over and like stuff is going down.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
Gets too early for this.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
That's why I'm here.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
So you're here. Well, it's a good mix. I guess
we can go from Morgan Wallen to that in.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
The back to juvenilectly all right, well, do you want
to introduce our guests?
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Yeah, since you've noticed the law, I was going to.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
Say, I'm so excited about this. Kayla is joining us.
I've been trying to get Kayla on the podcast for
probably four years.
Speaker 4 (08:11):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
And you know what's crazy is that three people have
mentioned having Kayla on the podcast. So it's also like
interesting that it like it took the final. I mean
I would have done at any time, but your schedule
wouldn't allow. But the third person was like, you have to.
So then we were like, okay, I'll start texting, and
then I just text over and over.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
We just needed Ali at the helm, not me because
I'm a little bit like Okay.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
Yeah, well and welcome to the show, Kayla, I can
finally talk. Hi, y'all. Yeah, now you may speak.
Speaker 3 (08:41):
Now you may speak, Kayla.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Do you like country music?
Speaker 5 (08:45):
No, damn it, yes, I think also country music different
than like Zeppe or whomever, Bop Dylan, Eric country music,
Johnny tractors. That's how you define country music, Yes, country.
Speaker 3 (08:59):
I like this definition Johnny Cash. I don't feel like
his country because he's not talking about tractors.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
But do you know who Jason Isbela is no whoat
you on.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
Everything because he would be sort of considered. He's my
favorite of all time, there's no one better in my opinion,
is like a lyricist and just he's fabulous. But he's
not tractor.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
He's like singer songwriter bluegrass.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
I don't see.
Speaker 3 (09:27):
I don't like the twang. I don't like that little
instrument that I.
Speaker 5 (09:30):
Was like Okay, now I feel the need to correct myself.
Tractor equals white Man country.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
There we go.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Ye, give me one artist you would like that that's in.
That's sort of in the genre. Like, are you saying
no to all country? Are you saying if it's only
tractor country you're not into.
Speaker 4 (09:48):
Oh, I mean, for example, Beyonce's country. Okay, well yeah, okay,
give me another example. I have none. My pop culture
is about zero nice.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
That's good. Yeah, that's I think because my head is
filled with useless pop culture information. It's getting me nowhere.
Speaker 5 (10:08):
There's like the memes on the internet that always say
if someone tells you that they don't watch TV and
they think that they're better than you, and I'm like, no,
but I don't think that I'm better than you, audience.
But I really am like the person who doesn't watch TV.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
I don't what are you doing at night reading?
Speaker 5 (10:28):
I'm the biggest extrovert. I'm hanging out with people until i'm.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
Every nice to go to bed.
Speaker 4 (10:32):
Okay, I'm playing sports or reading?
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Okay, yeah, wow, that's honestly, though, my ex did take
all of she was the big TV person, so when
I broke up, I lost all my accounts to.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
Such a bumber. Maybe that's why you're not watching TV.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
I mean, you know what, I've realized that lately too,
because my streaming services are getting smaller.
Speaker 3 (10:55):
I don't want to have my mom's Netflix and Hulu.
But I'm like, I know, I'm like, who needs TV anyway?
Like I've got TikTok for now. So do you worry.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
Though that, like with the TikTok or any of it,
that you're like, it's too fast, Like it's almost like
it is messing.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
You need to sit for thirty minutes to an hour.
Speaker 3 (11:17):
It's hard to say wat.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
Yeah, it's hard.
Speaker 3 (11:20):
So we want that like constant thing.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
So it's true.
Speaker 3 (11:24):
But yeah, Kayla is a business owner. Tell us about
your business.
Speaker 5 (11:27):
Yes, yeah, So I am the founder and owner of
fink At a Filter, which is in.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
Which we all love in Atlanta big fans.
Speaker 5 (11:35):
Yeah, it's an Atlanta based coffee company. Our trademark is
queer and Caffeinated, so you might have seen hopefully folks
romping around the city and queer and caffeinated merch.
Speaker 4 (11:45):
I have, And yeah, we've been around for about five years.
Speaker 5 (11:48):
We started in the West End. Unfortunately had to close
that location after four and a half years.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
But we've got run. Yeah exactly.
Speaker 5 (11:55):
We've been around in the old Fourth Ward for just
over a year.
Speaker 4 (11:58):
And that stores.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
So fun.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
That's as gorgeous, thanks you.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
That is not It's like it's like you walking into
a fancy hotel with the perfect working conditions, the perfect coffee.
Like I've never seen a coffee shop like this, Like
I honestly haven't. Like what started it is our girl
group down here, I should say. Women, We're like, we're
gonna find a coffee shop to go work, Like we're
gonna like once a week try to work at a
coffee shop.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
And they were going on and on and they're like,
you have to come, you have to come. So finally
I'm like.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
All right, I guess I'll like leave the home office
and go. And then I walked in and I would and.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
They're all merched up. They also wear to Finka and
I walked in. I'm like, holy shit, you guys, like
now I get it, like with the dog like things
and like the huge windows. Who did the who designed it?
Speaker 5 (12:45):
So it was uh, it was a miracle. Honestly, we
were getting we were in a point of transition and
we were introduced to the folks who own the building.
They had just finished building and they had promised the
name that they were going to do retail that was
centered around what the community asked for, which was coffee.
(13:05):
Of course, then they figured out how hard it was
and they're like, oh, no, we're not. The neighbors are like, yeah,
yeah you are, and so we our name was put
in the hat and thankfully they chose us, and so
the space was really built out for us, and so
we walked in put our flare on it. So there's
lots of pink things now, but we really got to
(13:27):
walk in day one and be ready for service pretty much.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
I mean design. You've got to go in here.
Speaker 3 (13:32):
Yeah, I mean it's fantastic.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
It's better than any other place I've been in.
Speaker 3 (13:36):
That's amazing.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
Why haven't you been.
Speaker 3 (13:38):
I live in the city.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
When you do go, you gotta get.
Speaker 3 (13:42):
But yeah, I'm totally I do want to check it
out for sure. I did go to the old location
numerous times.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
I bet that was similar probably, I mean same branding. Yeah,
it was. It was small.
Speaker 4 (13:53):
It started as a pop up. So can I tell
you the origin story?
Speaker 1 (13:56):
Sure?
Speaker 5 (13:58):
So Finka started cut it by act. It was the
heart of the pandemic I was. I moved to Georgia
from I was then living in Guatemalau to go to
grad school. And after graduating in the heart into like
the heart of pandemic, I couldn't find a job to
save my life, and so I was lots of money
in debt and.
Speaker 4 (14:21):
Out of kind of pure necessity.
Speaker 5 (14:23):
Someone said, Kayla, do you want to start popping up
in the West End doing coffee on the weekends. And
I poured enough pour overs until I could buy a
baby espresso machine, and then I poured enough lattes.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
Wait a minute, time out, you're doing pourovers on the
belt line.
Speaker 4 (14:38):
Yeah, And that's how we started poreovers. Like what I'm picturing, Yeah, legitimately, Yeah,
what does that mean?
Speaker 1 (14:43):
It's like very fancy, but it's slow.
Speaker 4 (14:45):
It's it is slow, but at yeah point, I love it.
Speaker 5 (14:47):
Yeah, we were we were in the corner of a
brewery and we had ten guests.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
How are you keeping even hot?
Speaker 3 (14:53):
Even?
Speaker 4 (14:54):
Yeah, it was. We were making it per order.
Speaker 5 (14:57):
It was a laborious process, just like building a small
business is. But the it started to become something super
special because I really had nothing to lose because.
Speaker 4 (15:09):
Again I couldn't find a job. I already had enough debt, Like,
what was I gonna go any more into debt?
Speaker 1 (15:14):
Who?
Speaker 4 (15:16):
I asked myself what would it look like?
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Right?
Speaker 4 (15:19):
I asked myself what it looked like.
Speaker 5 (15:20):
To be able to show up fully as myself every
day to work. And that's what I tried to create
for myself. I never imagined doing more than just making
poor overs. And then we had enough success. You know,
ten poor overs a day turned to.
Speaker 1 (15:37):
Fit to help make it okay.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
So I just want to wrap my brain because I
love poor over coffee. My partner used to make like
and I'm very impatient, but she would be like I'm insisting,
like we're having that like that and it is like
next level, But how do.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
You is it? Like you and your partner, your business
partners sitting there and chair, Like, how do you even
set up? Does it take two people?
Speaker 2 (15:55):
It doesn't take two people, but I guess I'm trying
to envision, like what do you square?
Speaker 1 (15:58):
People pay you a square? Like you have none of that.
You're out there just pouring poor overs. Set the scene.
Speaker 4 (16:03):
Yeah, so well, my business partners, me, myself and I
it was just you yeah.
Speaker 5 (16:09):
Yeah, and so we thanks to Wild Heaven West End,
we weren't left into the elements. We were in this
corner of their brewery, tucked in and that's where I
started making these poor overs. And so folks were stoked
because then they got to sit in this empty tap yeah,
you know, click the keyboards all day and then end
(16:30):
with beer. So it was a perfect harmonious setup, which
I think allowed both that and folks really, I mean,
the West End is so gay, yeah, and so folks
really kind of cloppered them, clappered for and they saw
themselves in the brand and what we were like, what
we were trying to do, and so it saw not
(16:53):
instant but pretty immediate success.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (16:57):
Yeah, what's finka? Finca means farm in Spanish. Okay, oh,
very so farm to filter.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (17:04):
My friend brook Latham High brook Latham and I were
living in Guatemala and she I worked for Habitat for
Humanity and she worked in like social entrepreneurship.
Speaker 4 (17:15):
We both saw different parts of the value chain.
Speaker 5 (17:18):
And her sister lives in New York and so it
was when the farm to table movement was really big,
and we created a blog and we were just shouting
at the shouting at the void. Our moms were the
only ones who ever read this blog.
Speaker 4 (17:31):
But we called it, yeah, we called it at the
time Finka to filter. So fast forward six years later,
when I got the opportunity to start pouring coffees on
the weekends, I was like, I have to make an Instagram.
Speaker 5 (17:44):
It's twenty it's twenty twenty, right, we need my poorover
business needs an Instagram. Yeah, And I was like, well,
already have the Instagram. Think of a filter, and so
that's what the rest is history.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
And then when you switched from poor over to regular, like,
was that a thing? We're just seamless.
Speaker 5 (18:01):
I mean it was we bought a small we bought
a smallest breast machine, okay. And then suddenly customers were like,
can I work for you?
Speaker 4 (18:10):
And I was like, oh, okay, yeah, you're gonna be
working with me.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (18:15):
And then we slowly figured it out, and I've it's
definitely been uh uh, build the plane while you.
Speaker 4 (18:21):
Fly it, start up operation. Now we've got a little
bit more infrastructure to it.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
But so cool.
Speaker 3 (18:28):
Yeah, and you were really young when you started this too, Yeah,
twenty five, Oh my god, so amazing to me. Maybe
when I was twenty five, I could barely make it
to work at eight a m.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
Like what time would you probably did have to start
early if it's the coffee business. Yeah, yeah, Now where do.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
You get like how do you I'm sure you're where
do you get your coffee beans?
Speaker 1 (18:48):
Like? How do you do it? Yeah?
Speaker 5 (18:49):
So our shtick is that we work with Atlanta Roasters
and South really Southeastern roasters, Okay, and we pay particular
attention to Bipop Quick and Women Roasters. That's kind of
how we the lens that we try to look at
our whole value chain at and of course it's not
always possible, but it's about prioritizing, okay, kind of our
(19:12):
own communities and do they have to be though here
or is it like you're sourcing it for wherever. So
we are super proud to work with Portrait Coffee, which
is based in the West End. They're a fantastic team.
Their goal is to poor a new narrative and really
often coffee.
Speaker 4 (19:33):
Originates in Africa. Yet you very seldomly see black coffee
professionals in leadership and ownership positions, and it's really been whitewashed.
And so yeah, Aaron Khalead and team over at Portrait
do a hell of a good job. The product's fantastic,
(19:55):
and we've been partnering with them for years.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
That's really interesting.
Speaker 3 (20:00):
I feel like a lot of coffee businesses aren't thinking
about where they're coffee is coming from. No, you know,
and correct me if I'm wrong. Isn't there like a
lot of like kind of.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
Shady, shady business yeah, like well and people just being mistreated,
like the people working in the fields and all that
stuff like yeah, yeah, yeah, to get really grim.
Speaker 5 (20:23):
Yeah, coffee is amongst the many in like natural materials,
like raw materials that is super extractive. So I think
right now the industry's bar is to try to do
less harm and hopefully, especially in an era of climate change,
(20:45):
like we really need to flip and try to do good.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (20:49):
Complicated, Yeah, it's a it's a very complicated industry.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
Yeah, yeah, I would, I would think so. Right.
Speaker 5 (20:59):
So now, FINCA kind of works too, prong, right. We
really try to think about the product that we're creating.
But also one of the one of the things that
we offer to your point around kind of the spaces
that we try to build is thinking about how our
space facilitates communities, So we like to say that we
(21:21):
celebrate humanity's finest with specialty coffee and feel good spaces
because FINCA is at its heart very gay.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
Okay, and you guys do everyone there? It did feel
very gay in.
Speaker 3 (21:34):
There, yes, well, and you guys host a lot of
events too that are very queer centered.
Speaker 5 (21:41):
Yeah, and a lot of more so now even a
lot of queer centered groups host events at FINCA, which
has been a super fun transition to see them kind
of look to FINKA to be that safe space.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Yeah. Well, it's a great it's a killer location, and
it is beautiful. And the end side really where.
Speaker 5 (22:04):
In Boulevard Heights kind of above Grant Park Boulevard in
the belt Line.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
That's a great area.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
I wish you'd do it over here, I know, But
I guess this might be too close to your other space,
is it.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
No?
Speaker 4 (22:16):
And you might actually be closer to the news store.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Do you think? Yeah? Okay, I love it.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
Do you if you're a coffee person, I'm always curious
about this because I don't I don't drink my coffee black.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
I like put a lot of creamer in it.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
And yeah, I think you do, and I'm always like,
I feel like it's like the people that drink it
black are like real coffee people, and then here's me.
But how how do you see that because you're like
a professional.
Speaker 5 (22:38):
Oh my gosh, I think that there's gonna be a
lot of coffee professionals who feel who do align with
exactly what you're saying there, and I am not one
of them.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
Okay.
Speaker 5 (22:49):
I think you should drink whatever you like. Okay, I
think that that's really what we try to do. And
you're amongst the majority.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
Would you say? It's like I think I got a
chai there, but and I got a latte there, but
what did most people get? Lattes? Lattes vanilla or no vanilla.
Speaker 4 (23:07):
Vanilla is our best selling latta, followed by caramel.
Speaker 5 (23:10):
Okay, I haven't had that kind coffee shops make their
money on lattes.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
It's really good to know.
Speaker 3 (23:15):
And like, what is the top choice of milk, like almond, almond,
oat milk, oat milk?
Speaker 1 (23:22):
Yeah, I don't know. It's my daughter. My daughter is
very into she would have so much. She would be
loving this because she's very into farming. She's in Madrid
right now. But her whole.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
Her college major is farming. But she's also a huge
coffee drinker. But anytime we go to order coffee, like
just to like make me feel like shit, Like if
I get a regular, they'll be like, what kind.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
Of milk do you want? And she'll be like she
wants full fat dairy, full fat dairy for her, like
she wants to like point it out, like joking, but
like she always would get oat milk. But so it
is like a thing like drinking dairy milk.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
She'll have this one wants dairy, not me, them being mistreated.
Speaker 5 (23:59):
And this coffee shop that I love in nash Yeah,
Nashville called Matrioshka, you know, like stacking dolls, and they
have hats, one of which says queers for oat milk
and the other says queers for whole milk.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
So you can like vote with.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
Your Yeah, I can do oat milk too.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
I don't really honestly, I like.
Speaker 3 (24:27):
Both of them. I prefer almond almends good too.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
Almends good too.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
Well, let's talk about being gay, and like your tell
us a little bit about your coming out, like where
you're from, Like where tell us your your origin story?
Speaker 5 (24:40):
Okay, So I am technique. I was born in New Mexico,
raised in Arizona, Okay, went to undergrad in Arizona, and
then moved to Guatemala.
Speaker 3 (24:53):
What prompted that?
Speaker 1 (24:54):
I know?
Speaker 4 (24:55):
I I always thought that it.
Speaker 5 (24:58):
My intent was always work in international kind of relations,
relations and like humanitarian stuff, okay, And so I was
doing that and I loved that. But I kept being
enamored with the coffee industry because kind of, like you said,
it's it's complicated, and it's fucked up and.
Speaker 4 (25:16):
Climate and beautiful to look at exactly.
Speaker 5 (25:21):
So all for all of those many reasons, I kept
coming back to it, which is why I ultimately left
Guatemala and moved here to Atlanta, Georgia.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
What year? Like? How long ago? Eight years ago? Okay? Yeah,
you haven't really been here that long.
Speaker 5 (25:38):
No, long enough to have many commercial leases and own
a house.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
So do you love it here? Like? Would you say
I love Atlanta?
Speaker 4 (25:46):
I love it here?
Speaker 1 (25:46):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (25:47):
Me too, I have Yeah, Yeah, I'm obsessed. What side
of town are you?
Speaker 4 (25:51):
We're neighbors pretty much?
Speaker 1 (25:52):
Oh? Really? Wait?
Speaker 4 (25:53):
Where are you in kirk One?
Speaker 1 (25:54):
You are? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (25:55):
What?
Speaker 1 (25:56):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (25:56):
I guess I shouldn't saying.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
You're in my neighborhood. Yeah, like streets over or like.
Speaker 4 (26:07):
Yeah, interesting, I'll tell you off, Mike, tell me off.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
But I feel like I did the well, I sell
Kirkwood all every day because it is really I've lived
in a lot of neighborhoods in Atlanta. This is the
best one a lot of Yeah, it just is like
we have the we have a great village. We have
tons of gay people. I I just I go out
for a run. It's like everybody's nice. Like I don't know,
(26:31):
I just I fucking love it here.
Speaker 4 (26:33):
Yeah we're spoiled rott.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
Yeah, we're spoiled rotten. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (26:36):
Yeah, I don't want to dance around your question the
gay party somewhere along that cycle.
Speaker 4 (26:46):
I finally, I don't know if this is relatable to
either of you.
Speaker 5 (26:50):
I never allowed myself to like think about being gay.
Speaker 3 (26:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (26:56):
It was like once you.
Speaker 3 (26:57):
Say, little door in my brain that was very are
saying you.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
Didn't I knew I was gay, but I didn't let
myself think about it.
Speaker 4 (27:03):
Oh absolutely, like I would you did I know you
were gay?
Speaker 1 (27:06):
Though? Oh my gosh, yes, okay, so you you didn't
even know.
Speaker 3 (27:09):
I didn't even know, Like I knew I didn't go there.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
Yeah, I wouldn't let my brain go there.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
I'm like, yeah, I want to kiss her, but I'm
not even thinking about that, like I'm gonna date the boy.
Speaker 4 (27:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (27:19):
And but the moment that I like acknowledged it, floodgates
were open.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
How old were you?
Speaker 5 (27:26):
I was in my twenties okay, yeah, and immediately everyone
knew and I said, take her or leave it, and.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
This is me.
Speaker 3 (27:37):
Yeah, that's awesome.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
I know what was the pushback?
Speaker 5 (27:41):
I I'm a Scorpio and I'm very stubborn and I
didn't allow for there to be any pushback.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
Okay, so if any just not taking feedback, I'm just
not taking any feedback. Guys, Yeah, how do you do that?
I know that I'm a Scorpio rising. I just learned
this and someone told me that's more important than my sign.
I'm a Leo.
Speaker 4 (28:02):
Are we all bad? Kays?
Speaker 5 (28:03):
I'm like, I don't know my star co star is
all of them are Scorpio.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
So no way, okay, pain in the ass.
Speaker 3 (28:12):
Yeah, mine's like Scorpio and then cancer so it.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
Kind of levels you out.
Speaker 3 (28:18):
I think it does leave.
Speaker 2 (28:20):
Okay, so you come out, you make the announcement, you
basically tell everyone this is it. I'm not taking any feedback,
and then that they just go along to get along.
Speaker 4 (28:28):
Yeah okay.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
And then was that because you had this woman, so
you're like, it's worth it to me. So I didn't know.
Speaker 4 (28:33):
I didn't come out for a partner.
Speaker 5 (28:36):
I just kind of acknowledged came out and yeah, but
what was the impotence?
Speaker 1 (28:42):
There had to be like something going on.
Speaker 4 (28:44):
I opened the flood gates, okay.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
After you had like met somebody.
Speaker 5 (28:47):
No, No, I quite literally was just like, Okay, I
guess it's fine, you're gay, okay, And then I just had.
Speaker 3 (28:53):
To that's interesting. So there was like, no like someone
you saw on a TV show or some guy that
was like, I don't was Kate McKinnon?
Speaker 1 (29:01):
Mine?
Speaker 3 (29:02):
Mine did. And it took me about a year after
seeing Kate McKinnon to really fully processed what that meant.
But realizing that Kate McKinnon was gay, that was more
so that I was like, well.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
Wait, did you get I'm curious about did you have
sex dreams about women long before?
Speaker 3 (29:20):
You know? The only thing that I had that I
can like reflect back on is that I had this
crush on a girl that I just didn't know was
a crush. When I was like in middle school, I
was like kind of obsessed with her. I wanted to
be her that kind of thing, and it didn't register
with me at the time, like there was I did
not think about a boy to this extent by any means. Yeah,
(29:42):
there was like no way that I was gay.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
Right right, right, of course, of course not no, no. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (29:46):
My best friend growing up would be like, I want
to wear that T shirt tomorrow and say, okay, what
ever she Ye.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
What's she doing now?
Speaker 4 (29:56):
Married with two kids?
Speaker 1 (29:58):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (29:59):
Sorry, okay, So then you go on to have a
real relationship yeah.
Speaker 5 (30:04):
Okay, yes, and dated around and then dated my ex,
who is a wonderful person for about five years.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (30:15):
We always say like it is like that five six
years is when, like that was how long my long relationship?
I guess, not you, but no, it does seem like
something happens at that juncture.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
That's like telling I think, I.
Speaker 3 (30:30):
Mean, it's close to the seven year itch right right.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
But I feel like with women, like at least with mine,
it was like we knew. It was almost like within
the first year it felt like I'd been with.
Speaker 3 (30:38):
I was gonna say, I feel yeah, you know what
I mean. I talked about this. It's like I feel
like the first two years you're on your best behavior.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
Yeah you know, yere's.
Speaker 3 (30:47):
Three and four you're getting more of like what you're
really about, and then I think five six, seven, you're
kind of like horror path's going to go the same route.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
So do you feel like though, now that you've been
in some relationships and like I I now start out
with them, Listen, I'm really difficult.
Speaker 1 (31:02):
Like I mean, you know, I know, I'm a pain.
There's no good behavior anymore, Like I'm not.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
Meredith was at my house and I was like, these
are all the ways I'm weird, Like these are all
weird things I think about, Like this is just it, Yeah,
get used to it, or yeah, it's very difficult. I
literally said that to someone this week. I'm like, listen,
I'm really hard to get along with. I don't know
if you want any part of this.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
It's like, I'm not even trying to be on my
best behavior for two years. I'd rather just like get
it out of.
Speaker 3 (31:28):
The gate, and I'm really rather not waste my time.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
Yeah, okay, so that.
Speaker 2 (31:32):
Relationship doesn't last, but it secures in you that you're gay.
Speaker 4 (31:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:37):
Yeah, So now are you dating in Atlanta?
Speaker 4 (31:40):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (31:41):
What's that like? And are you on the apps? I'm
just curious. No, I know I'm not either.
Speaker 3 (31:45):
I feel like I was on. I've been on the
apps off and on lately. But it's stressful, it's not fun.
So I recommend it. But if you work at a
Queer Stars shop, hello, you're.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
Only meeting a ton of women.
Speaker 2 (31:58):
I know.
Speaker 4 (31:59):
She don't recommend shting where.
Speaker 1 (32:03):
Yeah yeah yeah, but how often does it happen where?
Like you do meet people that come up and you're like, damn,
I would date that person. I wish I could ask
that person out, like they are kind of just coming
through almost like a conveyor belt, like understanding here, like
just looking each one. Nope, Nope. In real life.
Speaker 2 (32:23):
You know what, when I have my work on mm hmm,
she can't have times a business?
Speaker 1 (32:35):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
People that work there are so nice, like I wish
I could remember the name of but I just I
felt like I was treated so well there.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
I'm glad to Yeah, it's good people.
Speaker 3 (32:49):
Now with your coming out, how did your family react.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
Even though you weren't listening? I mean, what were they
saying to me right.
Speaker 4 (32:59):
To completely honest.
Speaker 5 (33:01):
My mom responded, my mom and I are like best friends,
and she was like, how did I not know?
Speaker 4 (33:09):
I was like, Mom, just like, let me know right.
Speaker 5 (33:13):
And my dad the moment after I came out and
no one else was around, he said I'm sorry, and
I immediately knew exactly what he was talking about, like,
you know, like all of the insidious things that he
had said, or all of like the things that his
friends would say that he would regurgitate because I earnestly
do not think that he believed any of them, at
(33:34):
least at this point.
Speaker 4 (33:35):
He doesn't. He loves we just brought.
Speaker 5 (33:38):
I just bought a bunch of my friends to their house,
and he loved all of them like they were his daughters.
Speaker 4 (33:45):
And they were all very gay.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
It makes what makes somebody very gay as opposed to
gay here.
Speaker 4 (33:58):
But yeah, so that's kind of how they react. And
my dad said sorry, and I said, I know, yeah.
Speaker 5 (34:03):
And the idea of like everyone knowing a queer person,
everyone knowing and loving a trans person, like I think
that that really is true and people just often don't know.
And like for my dad's experience, once he realized it,
like that the light switch was on and he was
(34:26):
able to kind of un unlearn a lot. But for
whatever reason, we either tolerate it or it's allowed that
you can wait till a point of knowing and loving
insert you know, marginalized person here, and then once that happens,
(34:47):
like then you're tolerant.
Speaker 4 (34:48):
Then you're tolerant. But until then you live in this
world of like yeah, like it doesn't ignorance and intolerance.
Speaker 3 (34:53):
Yeah, it's very true.
Speaker 2 (34:55):
It's true though for even beyond gay I mean it's
like there's that proximity teaches us all kinds of things,
even just being a parent. I feel like before I
had kids, I would say all kinds of shit that
it's like nonsense. Now, like whence you have your own,
do you feel like that? Like when you look at people,
you're like I'm never going to do that, or I'm
like until you get in it, then you're like, shit,
I don't know, I'm no judgment for anyone.
Speaker 3 (35:16):
Now. In trivia last night, I was a cussing around
my kids. Yeah, like what am I doing? People can
hear me, but they don't they know not to say it,
you know, And like I don't know, they know it's
not directed towards them, no direct guess I'm a Dylan
answer exactly.
Speaker 1 (35:33):
Well that's cool. Yeah, I like that.
Speaker 2 (35:35):
To me, it's too everybody deserves redemption, so it's like
if he came around, yeah, then there's power in that,
especially that he said he was sorry.
Speaker 1 (35:43):
My dad never said he was sorry.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
But he was very accepting right away, more accepting really
than my mom, which is so interesting to me because
we're very Catholic. But my mom, I'm she's so soft and.
Speaker 1 (35:55):
Like easy and loving. But he was definitely more able
to take the news.
Speaker 4 (36:00):
Yeah, why do you think she had a harder time?
Speaker 1 (36:02):
And it wasn't harder, it was just less.
Speaker 2 (36:04):
She was more inquisitive in a way that felt judgy,
just kind of like wait a minute, so you want
to live with that? Like almost like the way she
was asking the questions were offensive and to me in
some way, whereas my dad was just like great, like
who you know, we're great, it's totally great.
Speaker 3 (36:24):
Yeah. I think sometimes like coming out later and you've
got this established like relationship, I think in their minds
initially they're like, okay, you're gay, but you're just gonna
do this like behind closed doors.
Speaker 1 (36:34):
Yeah, yeah, everything else.
Speaker 3 (36:35):
Gets to continue to happen, right right. That's probably like
where some of those questions come from, like maybe, wait
a second, are you gonna go.
Speaker 1 (36:41):
To live live with a woman? Yeah? Well it is
like Melissa always has that, Like when you come out
as gay, it's basically like announcing your favorite composition. It's like,
so it's so like that's how people act like they
sexualize it, and that's not it. It's like it's so
much more than that.
Speaker 2 (37:01):
So it's like to me, that's what's annoying is it's
like you're having to announce that to.
Speaker 1 (37:05):
Your mom and dady just what I like to do.
It's humiliate and.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
Then they don't reciprocate and share what there's you know exactly.
Speaker 1 (37:16):
It's just humiliating. I hate it.
Speaker 3 (37:18):
I think that should be the new norm. If someone
comes out to you, you have to be like, well,
my favorite.
Speaker 1 (37:23):
Is exactly her to hear folks, it's true.
Speaker 2 (37:28):
Well okay, so how long you said you were in
a relationship for a while and now you're single.
Speaker 1 (37:32):
How long have you been single? A little over a year?
Speaker 2 (37:36):
I believe, okay, and like tell me, like in Atlanta.
What do you like to like if you ask someone out,
what are you doing?
Speaker 4 (37:42):
Ooh, grabbing a drink? Okay, dinner too much? Where's your drink?
Speaker 2 (37:49):
Where?
Speaker 1 (37:49):
Where is your like place that you feel so good
that you can go.
Speaker 3 (37:52):
Oh, I don't have a place really, No, I did
that for.
Speaker 1 (37:58):
No, but I think that, but I guess something like
there are some restaurants that I feel really good in
such as so it's like I feel really good at
Kimball House, Like I love the bar there, I feel
safe there, Like I feel like I'm I don't know.
Speaker 2 (38:11):
I know it's going to be a beautiful atmosphere. I
know we're going to get good service. Like I look
great and.
Speaker 1 (38:14):
I look let's have this lighting room, let's have this
lighting debate.
Speaker 2 (38:19):
Right, that is a good Oh, talk to me about lighting.
Speaker 1 (38:22):
Because this is my obsession.
Speaker 4 (38:25):
You and I obsessed about the same thing.
Speaker 1 (38:26):
Really oh.
Speaker 4 (38:29):
Obsessed, obsessed.
Speaker 1 (38:32):
It breaks it, thank you, And this is when it
gets later. These will come way down, way down.
Speaker 2 (38:40):
So the point that like it is like we're having
an intimate conversation and it's dark and like I can
really get to know you.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
It's barely lit.
Speaker 2 (38:48):
This is like a thing every time Melissa and I
have a party, She's like, are you really making the
lights this low?
Speaker 3 (38:53):
No, I like a dim lighting, but I think it's
something like my eyesight.
Speaker 1 (38:58):
I'll get.
Speaker 3 (39:00):
It's like hard, but I am engracing.
Speaker 1 (39:03):
I got you. We have an expert, yes, the space curator.
Speaker 3 (39:07):
I got one of those GOV lights. Have you heard
of that brand?
Speaker 1 (39:11):
You with the party with a GoPro?
Speaker 3 (39:13):
No? No, No, it's not a go Pro. It's a
light that goes behind my TV and so it like
lights up behind the TV and I can change the
colors on it and stuff. But they sell like a
variety of different types of like lamps and stuff, but
they have ones that it like go on the corner.
They're just like this like kind of stick looking light,
but it creates this like really like light, smooth lighting.
(39:33):
And again you can change the colors on it.
Speaker 1 (39:35):
I don't know about the colors. You kind of lost
me with.
Speaker 3 (39:37):
The so I usually just do a white or like
a yellow hue. But like during Christmas, I had it
sept for green.
Speaker 1 (39:44):
Very nice, so very nice.
Speaker 2 (39:46):
Yeah, So I get I get some pushback on the
lighting here sometimes.
Speaker 4 (39:50):
No. I have a list of like restaurants that have the.
Speaker 2 (39:52):
Perfect lighting, yeah, or or awful lighting. So Kimball has
perfect lighting. I'm trying to think. I liked where we
where do we go? For the oysters? I thought they
had great lighting arg argonaut Okay, well that great lighting.
Speaker 1 (40:09):
Okay. I haven't been there, let's go. Okay, Okay, whoopsies.
Where is that?
Speaker 4 (40:13):
It's very near it is.
Speaker 3 (40:14):
You know.
Speaker 1 (40:15):
That's the other thing about me. I don't leave the
two hours I stay. I do any villages that are
near my village.
Speaker 3 (40:20):
Yeah, I'm like Bula, that's like my go to. But
I will say the lighting in there sometimes they do
dim it like at night, but I've been in there sometimes, like.
Speaker 2 (40:31):
Where it is really bright. Can't do it, but the
bar there is so cool, Like the people that work
there are really nice.
Speaker 3 (40:37):
Yeah, it's good.
Speaker 4 (40:38):
Is that your spot that is around so I don't
have to drive anywhere, and then you know you're safe.
Speaker 2 (40:45):
Like I don't want to go somewhere where I don't
know what's happening because then it's like I'm a little uncomfortable,
so I don't. I haven't been single very long, so
I also haven't had to.
Speaker 1 (40:53):
Do it yet. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (40:54):
Yeah, that's exciting.
Speaker 1 (40:55):
I know, it's kind of exciting.
Speaker 2 (40:57):
It's kind of exciting, but it's also like even talking
about it right now, I'm getting a.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
Chess, so maybe it's not. Maybe I'm not ready, I
don't know. I don't know. But if I do get ready,
I'm gonna go to one of my safe sp.
Speaker 3 (41:08):
Yes, exactly, you know the date spots, Kimball.
Speaker 1 (41:11):
Yeah, maybe maybe I'll bring him to FINCA.
Speaker 3 (41:14):
I think that's great.
Speaker 1 (41:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (41:16):
The amount of people that have fallen in love at Finca,
really it's up there.
Speaker 4 (41:19):
Almost accidentally.
Speaker 5 (41:21):
I have many of times accidentally like third wheels. Third
wheeled people's dates.
Speaker 1 (41:26):
Oh god, dude, squeeze in the booth.
Speaker 5 (41:27):
I one time, did I stay and drink wine?
Speaker 4 (41:32):
And then they're like happily still dating?
Speaker 1 (41:34):
Oh they are, okay, so it worked out.
Speaker 2 (41:36):
Yeah, okay tell me boy boy girl girl girl boy boy.
Speaker 4 (41:41):
It was two girls.
Speaker 3 (41:42):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (41:42):
I love this. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (41:43):
Wow, it's amazing.
Speaker 1 (41:44):
Yeah, that would be a good space for a date.
I haven't been to think at night.
Speaker 3 (41:47):
And you guys are serving alcohol now, yeah, that's awesome.
Speaker 1 (41:50):
How long are you open?
Speaker 4 (41:52):
Seven to seven?
Speaker 5 (41:53):
Exception of Thursdays, we still opened to eight because we
do like a wine night.
Speaker 4 (41:57):
It's a we call it flight night. Okay, so it's
natural wine.
Speaker 3 (41:59):
Fly night, fight night.
Speaker 1 (42:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (42:01):
I like it exactly.
Speaker 4 (42:02):
Okay, very funny. Thanks to do.
Speaker 1 (42:04):
Something there, totally. Yeah. Okay, so Thursday nights is.
Speaker 4 (42:07):
That Thursday nights five to eight. Yeah, it's really fun.
Speaker 1 (42:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (42:10):
I've been a lot of wonderful friends through it.
Speaker 1 (42:15):
And then can you drink on the job?
Speaker 4 (42:18):
I do not goodness drinking on the job?
Speaker 1 (42:20):
Really? I know.
Speaker 4 (42:21):
Do you don't have expensive insurances?
Speaker 3 (42:23):
Oh yeah, okay, okay, I don't like to drink on
the job either. Like anytime I've been at work and
they're doing like a party and they're like, yeah, there's
beers a break, I'm like, this is a trap. I'm
not following. I'm not doing it. I'm gonna go mess
up on some script and They're gonna be like it's
because you were drunk, even if trunk. Yeah, I won't
do it period.
Speaker 2 (42:42):
Yeah, it's probably really smart, Like people I really really
respect don't.
Speaker 3 (42:47):
Yeah, I mean I don't know, Like you know.
Speaker 2 (42:49):
The village idiot who's like always the drunk person at
the Christmas party.
Speaker 3 (42:52):
That's like, my, oh my god. I witnessed that one
of my first years, like as a professional, like in
an office we have the Christmas there was the drunk
idiot and I was like, that will never be don't
ever do that?
Speaker 1 (43:05):
Yeah, at work, right, right, and otherwise nobody wants to
hurt your feelings, so they act like it's okay, but
really it's.
Speaker 3 (43:11):
Like everybody's talk about it.
Speaker 1 (43:13):
Everyone saw you. Okay. So where so what Atlanta? You
would do drinks? Yeah, not coffee because to me, coffee
is easy too because then it's like quick and like
you don't have to worry.
Speaker 3 (43:23):
It feels too much like you're at work.
Speaker 4 (43:26):
Yeah, exactly, So no, I.
Speaker 3 (43:29):
Will say that black coffee. Do you know that place?
I've been there a few times on like Little Meat.
Speaker 1 (43:35):
We're not talking about the competition.
Speaker 3 (43:37):
This is on a different part of town though. So okay,
I feel like you guys would drive well together. Probably, Yeah,
but I think a coffee shop is a good spot.
Speaker 2 (43:48):
For or if you're Melissa, you can take them to publics.
Remember during the we had a like thing we're during
the pandemic. You were like, We're going to go for
a walk and then you're like, honestly, I have to go. Great,
you don't remember this conversation.
Speaker 3 (44:00):
Dude, I never did anyone to grocery shop.
Speaker 1 (44:02):
But you were joking.
Speaker 3 (44:03):
You were like, I didn't go to for a date.
Speaker 1 (44:06):
Okay, I did do that, that'd be kind of fun.
Speaker 3 (44:08):
It was like a second or third date.
Speaker 2 (44:10):
So for furniture, I forget something pretty small, like I
think I needed to grab something like picture frames.
Speaker 3 (44:17):
It wasn't anything like let's go buy my new kitchen.
Speaker 1 (44:20):
No, you know, but.
Speaker 3 (44:22):
That was our last date because she brought up these.
Speaker 4 (44:24):
Other people that she was dating, and I.
Speaker 1 (44:26):
Was like, that's weird.
Speaker 3 (44:27):
It was so weird.
Speaker 1 (44:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (44:28):
I was like, I Don'm not here for competition. Sorry,
Like I don't care if you're dating other people, but
don't sit here and tell me. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (44:34):
No, do you feel like both of you do you
know right away like you go on the date, Do
you know right away whether you're in it or not?
Speaker 1 (44:41):
Or do you feel like it takes a few dates.
Speaker 3 (44:44):
I think it depends on the person.
Speaker 1 (44:45):
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (44:49):
The more the more the more that I date, the
more I realized I don't know anything and I don't
know what I want really.
Speaker 3 (44:58):
Yeah. Okay, well that's interesting though, because I feel like
you're learning.
Speaker 2 (45:01):
Then yeah, so there's this interesting and it does morph.
Like what I wanted when I came out is completely
different than what I want now.
Speaker 4 (45:09):
What do you want now?
Speaker 2 (45:09):
I think what I want now is a very peaceful,
soft place to land at the end of a work day.
Kind I don't I understand.
Speaker 1 (45:20):
People like, oh, you want someone that like challenges you.
I decided, I know.
Speaker 3 (45:23):
I don't think I want that name.
Speaker 1 (45:24):
I want someone who don't challenge me, just you.
Speaker 2 (45:28):
We can challenge each other on like topics, but like,
I don't want to. I'm done with I don't want
to high anxiety or like passion is great, and we
had a lot of passion, but I think it also
led to a lot of anxiety. And I think I
really want peace. Peace in my house at the end
of the day. I want quiet. I like to watch TV.
(45:50):
I love to read. I don't want to have stress.
Speaker 4 (45:53):
I like that.
Speaker 1 (45:53):
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (45:54):
The only thing that I've ruled out or in Yeah,
actually it's just out is that I hang with me
that I conceptually won't date marathoners.
Speaker 2 (46:07):
Oh, because I'm a marathoner.
Speaker 4 (46:10):
Well imagine, okay, okay, tell me why this is bad.
Speaker 1 (46:12):
I want to know.
Speaker 3 (46:13):
No, I don't care.
Speaker 1 (46:14):
I'm a marathon or lots of marathons.
Speaker 5 (46:20):
I'm super high energy, okay, and so the idea that.
Speaker 1 (46:25):
This is unbelievable, I said, my one thing that's amazing
about me, like this is my go out at fifty
five my number one quality.
Speaker 4 (46:34):
It's a great quality.
Speaker 5 (46:35):
And for me, I can't fathom being so high energy
and then someone being like, yes, it's Saturday, it's my
day off. I'm going to go on a six hour
run alone and then come.
Speaker 4 (46:46):
Back to you exhausted.
Speaker 5 (46:48):
I already admitted I don't watch TV, so then what
are we gonna do? But you on, you want to
sit on the couch.
Speaker 1 (46:53):
But most marathon runners, I would say, they get entered.
Like my marathon training, I'm like, you're high after you
want to do stuff.
Speaker 3 (47:01):
Mine is more the issue of, like the amount of
time that it takes to go out like you do
one marathon. More so when I was in the height
of taking care of little kids. Okay, it's like I'm
gonna go run on my day off that I'm finding home,
But could you like my partner.
Speaker 1 (47:15):
Didn't marathon run, but she was a cyclist, so I would.
Speaker 2 (47:19):
Run, you guys, Yeah, while I ran, and then we
would like ben marathons are a thorough commitment though it is, guys,
come on, we don't.
Speaker 3 (47:28):
Have done it so many times at this point.
Speaker 2 (47:29):
I don't feel like I'm gone six hours. I might
be gone three.
Speaker 4 (47:33):
Okay, I don't. I will not.
Speaker 1 (47:36):
Marathon.
Speaker 3 (47:37):
She won't. She's not gonna date the slow ones.
Speaker 1 (47:39):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (47:41):
Maybe. What I love about training though, is that after
first of all, you've a runners high, but second of all,
then you're like, let's go fucking eat burritos and like
it just can MESSI yeah, dive in. Yes, but I've
just decided to stop eating so much.
Speaker 1 (47:56):
I know me too long run.
Speaker 3 (47:58):
I also can't zone out anymore. I've done half marathons.
I did that all during my twenties and thirties, and
it's like I cannot go on a long run and
just chill. Like it doesn't feel chilled to me anymore.
Speaker 2 (48:09):
Even if you have like a good podcast on no
I start thinking about all the things I should be
doing instead, and like I could do a much more
efficient workout in thirty minutes.
Speaker 1 (48:17):
Well what's more efficient, though, calorie burne.
Speaker 2 (48:19):
I'm just lifting weights in cardio at the same time,
all right, well I'm going to keep running guys.
Speaker 3 (48:24):
All right, you do you, you do you?
Speaker 1 (48:26):
What's your exercise of choice?
Speaker 5 (48:29):
I play a lot of sports, okay, soccer, pickleball, okay.
Oh my I joined a dodgeball, a gay dodgebally, so
it's stoweball.
Speaker 2 (48:40):
Yes, I played too, But then I was like, everybody
throws too hard.
Speaker 1 (48:43):
Really, these gay women they have to.
Speaker 3 (48:46):
It's like gnarly how hard they throw. Just don't get hit.
Speaker 1 (48:49):
I mean, just doll.
Speaker 3 (48:51):
I would think it is that simp. Sometimes you're just
not looking, It's true. Yeah, that threw me off guard. Also,
I do want to learn how to play pickleball. I've
been saying this for like two years and I haven't
done it.
Speaker 1 (49:01):
I still have your golf club, you do.
Speaker 2 (49:03):
I know.
Speaker 3 (49:04):
I had an audition for to be a golfer, of
damn it.
Speaker 2 (49:07):
You know.
Speaker 3 (49:08):
It's perfectly fine with like declining the audition because it
was like, now use your your iron and your potter.
Speaker 2 (49:14):
And I was like, lot, have you done pickleball here
in Kirkwood at the courts?
Speaker 1 (49:19):
Yes? Okay.
Speaker 2 (49:20):
Because I have a friend that I run with, she
who lives right here. She was like, we've got to
get someone to like we've played a few times, but
it's like I want to like know the things.
Speaker 1 (49:30):
So that I can legit show up game on. Yeah,
like if do you have someone like it's two against
two right.
Speaker 5 (49:36):
Yeah, I have a big gay gaggle that plays Saturday
and Sundays.
Speaker 1 (49:40):
Okay, I have a big gaggle myself over here.
Speaker 3 (49:43):
I know we need to come combineds here.
Speaker 1 (49:46):
Yeah, let's do it. Okay, pickleball it's on on that note,
Thank you, pleasure. This is great, good energy, good energy.
Speaker 3 (49:54):
Yeah, yep.
Speaker 1 (49:55):
I don't think we're gonna need much editing on this one. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (49:59):
Yeah, you should be very flattered.
Speaker 1 (50:00):
Melissa loves to wait till the guest leaves and then
tell us how big of a pain.
Speaker 3 (50:04):
That people are gonna be, Like, oh my god, that
is not true.
Speaker 1 (50:09):
She realizes it's us. It's mostly saying something super offensive.
All right, guys, have a good weekend. By later.
Speaker 3 (50:22):
I want to support the Lesbian Chronicles podcast.
Speaker 2 (50:25):
Rate us and write a review on Apple podcast or Spotify.
Speaker 1 (50:29):
We love listener feedback.
Speaker 2 (50:30):
If you'd like to share your story, email us at
Melissa and Ali at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1 (50:36):
That's Melissa M. E. L. I s A and Ali
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