July 17, 2024 • 51 mins
Happy Christmas in July!
Bran, Dan, Patrick, and Producer Erin break down the Christmas Movie "Classics" available on Lifetime's YouTube channel every week in July. Will we Pour it up or Put a Cork in it?
Lifetime Uncorked and Deck the Hallmark collide on this monthly podcast covering your favorite TV movies! Brandon (Bran) Gray & Daniel (Dan) Thompson join Lifetime Expert Patrick Serrano to break Lifetime's TV Movie lineup for 2024. Follow us on social media for more content @LifetimeUncorked & @HallmarkPodcast
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Watch Patrick's Lifetime Movie: Old Flames Never Die, starring PATRICK SERRANO!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hi, I'm Brandon. I love Lifetime Christmas
movies. I'm Patrick Serrano and I'm
liking Christmas movies more. I'm Dan and I despise Lifetime
Christmas movies and this is theday all over my God check.
The Hallmark. It's his podcast.
We hope you like this Dolly podcast,
(00:33):
yes? Oh boy, you know what?
People around the world are standing up, they are excited,
they are cheering because we're talking about 12 men of
Christmas. I'm shook a little bit because
ever since I've known Patrick Serrano, he has introduced
himself on this podcast as Hi, I'm Patrick Serrano and I'm a
(00:56):
Lifetime movie. X Well, what was it the first
week of July? He said He's not ready for
Christmas. He's not ready.
He did, yes. OK, so maybe I just made that up
in my head. I've been, well, you know, I am
a Lifetime movie expert, but since Christmas.
Yes, of course, yeah. Yeah, he's been.
Christmas in July, I'm mixing itup a little bit.
Mixing it up in July. Experiment, yeah.
(01:16):
It's right. We know, we know, The New York
Times said that I'm a lifetime expert.
So we sure did. Yeah, I sure do.
We You remember when the Wall Street Journal put us in their
paper and we went to find an actual copy?
Yeah. That physical paper.
Impossible. Impossible.
Yeah, we had to go to. Barnes and Noble to find it,
Yes. Really.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
I don't even know that mine was printed in like paper.
(01:39):
I think it was an online an Ellistical or whatever they call
it Ellistical. I well, we also got a got
published in the Greer. What was it?
The There's something something Greer Weekly.
Taylors, Taylors Times. Yeah, it was for Simpsonville.
There's something, I don't remember what it was.
Whatever big deal for. We've been around, we understand
how it works. Absolutely.
(02:01):
Any local paper. Any any local paper, We'll we'll
talk to you. Of course, you should talk to
your local paper, Patrick. I've been in it.
For what? Really.
For what? Notable alumni of Blake High
School. You were notable for doing the
podcast. For being a Lifetime person, I
guess I don't know. It was like a yeah, yeah, It was
(02:23):
about like my Lifetime movie andall that.
I don't know They they literallyjust he found my Instagram and
took wrote a story about it in. A mere 2.
Days. You're gonna be doing a lifetime
game show, Palooza live at Bramble Fest.
How you? Oh, yeah, I finished my
presentation. This was this is homework, you
guys. No one told me.
(02:45):
I haven't made a PowerPoint since I my.
OK, get ready Dan, but I had to do a persuasive essay or
persuasive presentation in College in a in a communications
class and my topic was why you should like Mandy Moore.
Of course it was the actress thethe triple threat.
Please tell me what's the third one, Singer.
(03:08):
Actor Motto. Motto Commercial.
Commercial actors. Yes, of course, Triple threat.
Please tell me you still have that presentation, Patrick.
I do not. But it was a PowerPoint.
I remember that. And, you know, it had the chimes
and the zoom in. I put a lot of work into that.
Yeah, I did all that. And let me tell you,
(03:28):
PowerPoint's come a long way. This this game show looks a lot
better than it's called my MandyWarp presentation.
That's how far they've. Come camba, camba.
I did. I did Canva.
Yeah, Canva's easy, easy. Very easy dropping dropping.
Drop and drag, drop and drag. Can you give us a tease like
(03:48):
something like something about it that we we won't understand
now but will understand later? OK, yes, I put in a lot of
thought into this and it can be played in person and online.
Wow. So, you know, we, I wanted it to
(04:09):
be interactive for the people also watching in the live stream
because, you know, it's no fun to play a game and watch other
people play. So wait, what does that mean?
How are they gonna be able to interact now?
I'm just asked. Well, it's.
No longer A-Team. So like, you know, if we have
teams, we'll have an online team.
Why not? Great.
OK, maybe the online team will win also.
Are they cheating? They could be cheating, but but
(04:30):
we'll do they. Could be cheating.
Yeah, we'll do. Honor System.
The Virtual Ticket. That dahmer.com/fast.
Still available and for your money as good a deal.
I mean, you get everything. Bang for buck?
I mean, it's there, it's all there for you.
And if you're worried you're notgonna be able to watch it live,
you get a link so you have it in.
Perpetuity. In perpetuity, you have it
(04:51):
forever. So you can still get that
ticket. The, the, the tickets for in
person closed, shut down, but virtual tickets, I mean, that's
the, that's the you. You got to get one.
You got to get one. I'm very excited about this
weekend. It's going to be a lot of fun.
And I think the thing that I'm most excited about is just like
just being able to like touch everybody.
(05:12):
You wanna touch everybody? It's a weird thing to say out
loud. Well, like all all my friends
and I. Being able to touch everybody.
Like Patrick, I can't wait to touch Patrick.
Yeah, yeah, I I'm fine with that.
And I know the feelings. Patrick is is neutral on that.
He's like, whatever. Yeah, it's great.
No, I think. We're good.
I I will see Patrick and I will touch him and then this will be
(05:34):
a good. Time.
So many ways you can say it. I don't understand what's wrong
with it. Just can't, just can't wait to
see everybody give him a hug. I can't wait to.
I'll see Patrick. I'll touch him.
It'll be great. That sounds you.
You don't admit that sounds weird.
I'd think that is totally fine. OK.
All right, fine. OK, great.
It's time to talk about today's movie, which is.
(05:55):
Well, yeah, Speaking of touching12 Men of Christmas. 12 Men of
Christmas. Wow.
Now I got in the chat. People are like really fired up
about this movie, so. Yeah, there's, there's a,
there's a lot to talk about. And before we start, I have to
say I misremembered this movie. It might be another Christmas
(06:15):
movie. I thought, remembering this from
2009, 2009, you guys, Kristin Chenoweth was gonna be.
She told me. I could call her that.
She told me. OK, she said.
Of course. Yes, KC, the whole.
Chenoweth finally wonderful people.
Right. I thought that Christa Chenoweth
was going to be dating 12 men atChristmas, right?
(06:38):
What did you have thought that that's what this is?
Called 12 men at Christmas wouldmake me think that there are 12
dudes that she dates over any period of Christmases.
So it could be 12 different Christmases could be one
Christmas. That would be my understanding
of that. That is totally what I thought,
totally what I remember it was like, Oh yeah, there's all these
hunks, so many hunks, but it's not, it's a calendar.
(07:01):
It's a calendar. It's.
Calendar related. So there's there are still
hunks. There are still hunks, but she's
not going on a date with all thehunks.
That's so we got Riggs sent us aFitzy's calendar and it was, it
was tough. We couldn't get to February
before we had to throw that thing out.
Oh no. Oh no.
It's not appropriate. Well, you wouldn't be throwing
this calendar outlet me tell you.
(07:23):
OK, so the movie stars, what youmight know some of these people.
I wrote down the notable ones. There's a lot of people that one
of the guys was on Biggest Loser.
He was the Bob Harper replacement.
All right, great. I know that.
What that means. Bob Harper.
I don't know. Who?
Bob Harper. Wait, you guys, Bob Harper, he
was like one of the coaches on Biggest Loser.
(07:44):
He was like Bob, Bob Harper and Jillian Michaels.
Yes, I knew Jillian Michaels think.
I know about reality TV. Did you know Jillian Michaels
was induced? By 90% Biggest Loser I I I I I
know enough to make fun AmericanIdol jokes from the first two
seasons and from the first season of Survivor.
Richard Gervais, I That's all I got.
(08:06):
If you do anything aside from that, I'm going to be like, who
is this person? I wish we're going to have Bob.
Bob. Yeah, Bob Harper is Southern, so
I thought you guys knew him. OK, Yeah, well, we all we kind
of. It's a small circle.
And he's gay. He's gay.
So then I know him. There you go.
So we. Should all know him based on
those two attributes, yes. Not everyone, Only if you're
southern or gay. That's a big swath of people,
(08:30):
Patrick. And if you're gay and Southern,
you definitely know Bob Harper. There's.
Absolutely. Absolutely.
And you know, those are my favorite type of gays.
I love when they they gays just like, bless your heart.
Yeah, you know, And I'm like, Ohmy God, I am so dumb.
And not from the South. How, how Dan and I grew up,
there's a chance that the reasonwe didn't know him was because
he was gay. So that could have been the,
(08:50):
yeah, that could have true thing, yeah.
You're like a lot. Of overlap there at least out in
public the the do you don't consider yourself southern being
from the Maryland Virginia area Patrick.
Correct. There are southern, there are
southern parts of Maryland. I will give you that.
If you go to the Western Maryland, it is very country.
(09:12):
You go to the Eastern Shore, it is country.
Where I'm from is not southern. It's it's basically like DC
light. OK, so I've always like as an
actual Southerner, like Virginiais like barely southern to me.
And Virginia likes to think thatthey're Southern and they have a
huge part in the Civil War. I'll grant them the history,
but. You will grant them civil war.
(09:33):
But Robert E Lee is struggling. We will grant you.
I just that like a lot of peoplein Maryland, like when I lived
in Saint Louis, people were like, well, we're southern.
And I'm like, no, no, you're, you're not southern.
So at least you, you get it. At least you understand.
Oh yeah, I mean, my grandma was from Macon, GA, so she was
Southern, you know? That cred is unimpeachable, yes.
(09:56):
Nice, nice. I know about pimento and cheese,
I know about all that stuff. So don't worry guys.
Wait, is that not what it's called?
It's pimento cheese, that's all it is.
Oh, sorry. But you know, like I, I get the
vibe I had fried chicken growingup, Like made from a pan.
Yeah, the good stuff anyways. OK, Yeah.
(10:17):
Bob Harper, not in this movie, not in this movie, but Kristen
Chenowitz, Yes, she's in this movie.
You know her from from Broadway and from.
Pushing daisies Pushing daisies Christmas love story on Hallmark
lots of. Things Oh yeah, that with that
wolf guy with that Will Will Albrecht.
Will Albrecht is from Cougar Town.
(10:37):
Was just the only thing I knew him from, but he's kind of kind
of cute. Chomsky.
Chomsky from Veep and my girl, Yeah.
My girl herself, and then finally Steven Huzzar.
Huzzar. Huzzar.
That guy, I recognize him. He had long hair in this one.
(10:57):
Oh boy, I. Didn't even recognize him.
You, you said his name and I'm like, who?
How the hair was bad. The hair was bad.
OK, Jumping in. So we have Kristen Chenowitz.
She has it all. OK, well, I'm gonna say it wrong
every time. It's fine.
I know her in real life. We're friends.
OK, all right. You know, OK, that's fine.
(11:18):
I I have stories. That tell.
It's Chenoweth. OK, how are you saying?
Chenowitz. Like a Yeah Chenowitz.
I've heard it both ways. Only from Patrick.
Right and when you when you growup both.
Ways. When you grow up as a young gay,
sometimes the THS are hard to say.
So you work around it. You work around it.
(11:39):
OK, that's all I'm going to say.OK.
All right. To.
Say that, Patrick, you pronouncepeople however you want to.
There you go, she said. You give her that.
Permission. You don't give me that
permission. You weren't a young gay.
Right, it's true. That's.
Fair. New Yorker perfect.
She has an apartment, she has APR job, she has a fiance named
(12:02):
Noah, and she's nice. Like if you consider getting
Coldplay tickets a gift, right? She gets Coldplay tickets for
her assistant and her assistant is so excited. 2009, that's
huge. 2009 Huge. Huge.
Huge. That might be Gwyneth and that
guy Chris have an apple. Chris Morton.
(12:23):
Yeah, have an apple. Viva La Vida territory, right?
Yeah. So yeah, where she, let's just
say Kristin Chenoweth is connected.
She's very cool. Very connected, very cool.
She goes to a Christmas party, she looks fabulous the whole
movie. All her outfits are great, all
her hair impeccable, makeup impeccable, looks great.
(12:44):
Never doesn't never even puts onlike pajamas like she's, she's
just business all the time. She never puts on pajamas.
That's the big take away from the.
Bottom. Yeah, well, she probably kept
her wardrobe. So she's like, we're going
designer. Everything.
That's right. This is LIFETIME at its peak.
Christmas. So it's a Christmas party, Noah.
(13:07):
His contacts start acting up. Have you ever worn contacts,
guys? I have not, no.
I'm I'm perfect producer. I figure.
Is nodding and she's wearing them right now, she said.
Yeah, so you know now in current2424 times 20.
(13:27):
Times in 2024 we need to call someone for.
I knew exactly what you meant. Whoa, that's the caffeine.
Like kicking it? I think so.
Current 2024 times. Yeah, in current 24 times you
can get contacts that are softerand they don't hurt your eyes as
much. But back in 2009, they had these
little hard contacts that you would put in your eyes and they
(13:47):
would like sometimes like, like get in your eye, like feels like
a dust in your eye or something.So you had to go like splash
water on it or something. It was terrible, terrible times
for eye eye problems or eye eyesight.
Dan's so mad hearing. Terrible time through his phone
problems, yeah. I was.
I know, I know. Those people with eye issues.
Terrible. So he goes to the bathroom to
(14:09):
adjust his contact. Yep, sure he does.
Kristen Chenowitz is like, this is a great time to freshen up.
I'm gonna go to the powder room.As if she needs it.
Am I right, Patrick? She doesn't need it.
She she's not even, she's not even a Dewey.
She's just. Perfect.
She's not even Dewey. Yeah, I mean, Dewey is in now,
(14:30):
but it wasn't in 2009. Yeah, we all.
Do that. Yeah.
Come in the middle. That's right.
Set up you. Just wanna have a powdered face.
Real Brian Powder situation, Wasthat his name?
Brian Harper, What's his name? Bob Harper.
Bob Harr. Was very close, yeah.
Yes. So she goes to the bathroom,
she's on the phone with her sister.
She's talking and she's like, for some reason, she likes to
look at people's shoes in the stalls and see what shoes
(14:51):
they're wearing. Like while in the in the women's
bathroom, it means something different than a men's bathroom.
They're just, you know, like taking a taking a tinkle.
So she looks at the shoes and she's like, oh, are these a pair
of Gucci pumps? Are these a pair of Louboutins
that I bought for my boyfriend? Yes, her boyfriend is in the
(15:12):
stall hooking up with Kristin Chenoweth's boss.
Oh, Baronet. Boy.
Brunette boss. Dustin is.
I doubt it. Sheesh.
He was faking. He was using eyesight to have an
affair. And that's messed up, man.
Have you ever that's messed up right now, Patrick, do that.
(15:32):
So not have an affair, but have you ever used contacts or
glasses to get out of something?Yes.
I can't see without my glasses, so if I lose my glasses, I need
to be taken home by somebody immediately.
So yeah. So you've used that before in a
social situation? You'd be like I gotta.
Have you ever just you just threw your glasses, you can't
find them? Oh yeah, I'm like, I lost my
(15:54):
glasses. I gotta go.
I gotta leave. Somebody give me a while.
Yeah, my contact fell out. I gotta go home.
Wow. So this seems like it's a
regular occurrence for you. Oh, a good one is I got my eyes
dilated today. I can't work.
I can't see the computer. But that sounds like it's just
true. It is true but and I am
sensitive to the dilation but it's like 2 * a year.
(16:17):
I'm like I really can't work today.
A good one is I had surgery today and I can't work.
Patricks boss is like. Patrick and his eyes dilated
every week. I bet if you asked, if you asked
Leslie, she'd be like, yeah, I know the days I would come in
with sunglasses and like a towelover my head.
(16:38):
I'm like, it's so bright out there.
A towel. Over your.
Head is it Monday already? Huh.
It's. The Monday dilation.
Yes. So of course, Krista Chenoweth
breaks up with him. She packs up her desk at her
office, quits her job because her boss was like, you know,
also in on this. And Noah on the way out of the
(16:58):
office is like, can I have the engagement ring back?
It's messed up. Man.
And she's like, and she like gives it to him.
She's like, never talk to me again.
She goes home. She watches Miracle on 34th St.
for like the whole Christmas week into New Year's.
She doesn't leave the couch. She's eating Chinese, feeding
the dog Chinese. What she shouldn't do?
(17:21):
Yeah, the dog that's greasy. If the food's greasy, you don't
want to give it to a dog that's not good for their.
No, they can't. They can't eat cooked meat like
that. That's not look that's good for
them. So but it but Kristen does what
she wants. OK, Yeah.
As a as a close personal friend.That's right.
She's always been like that. That's right.
And she and she always has dogs.She always brings dogs
(17:43):
everywhere she goes. She always does so.
And they really show. The American on 34th St.
You guys, they really show little Natalie Wood being like,
Oh my dollhouse or whatever happens in my movies.
Do they show a lot of the movie or they just show a clip of it?
They show more than I've ever seen in any.
(18:03):
Public domain, right? But they show up like, I mean,
how much do you need to establish that?
I mean, you just need to see when they bring in all the
letters and you pretty much establish it, right?
Well, we don't see Santa gettinghis beard pulled and speaking in
that language to that kid, but we do see Natalie Wood and the
the mom, whatever her name was. Course, yeah.
(18:25):
Moira. Mary No, that's Jimmy Stewart.
He's he's not in that movie. He was asking for the name.
It's been a long time since I'veseen Miracle on 34th Street, but
anyways, yeah, New New Year's happens.
We like skip over Christmas. The whole movie is called 12
Minute Christmas, but Christmas is over.
It's over the 1st. 10 minutes. I was pretty worried.
(18:46):
About that, I mean, it's in the title.
I think you're gonna be OK. Are you?
You don't. As if, Dano, I hope you, I hope
you need glasses. And then you lose them.
If I ever need glasses, I probably am not doing contacts.
I'm going to just wear glasses. The idea of dealing with
contacts seems. Oh, they, but it sounds like the
(19:07):
technology's evolved. Yeah, I'll wear contacts to
Bramble Fest when I'm on stage, but if I'm like, you know,
getting breakfast, like I'll wear glasses.
Your glasses are iconic, Patrick.
You're not going to wear them onstage.
Not with our special guest, me. He's Here's the thing, he's
also. Patrick knows our special guest
and he's now very like attuned to the fact that he's trying to
(19:30):
like keep himself in order he. Is.
Remember yesterday certified sexy.
Now it's like I have to I have to get go get reapply because
I'm having doubts. No, you should never have to,
But the reason why you can't wear this guy, he's going to be
hosting the Palooza. That's true.
Like, that's a lot of moving. Around the palooza with glasses.
You take him off like chew on one in there.
(19:51):
True you guys, I don't really see that well with my contacts
so I might need to wear my glasses.
Wear the glasses. No, we would hate for you to
mess up reading that'd be. A.
A be that that'd be out of character.
Very out of character and I would not like it.
OK, OK, so Kristen gets a call after New Year's because she has
no job. Don't forget the Montana Board
(20:12):
of Tourism wants to hire Kristento come to the city for 12
months for like a a like bringing entrepreneurship to
Montana. Yeah, I don't really know why
how they all got in contact withher, but it's she needs a job
(20:32):
and she doesn't wanna go to Montana.
But she's talking to her friend and it's like, maybe this is
exactly what you need right now.Yeah, a fresh start a like some
some clean air. But but KC, KC is KC is New York
through and through. Could she make it in Montana?
Could she make it without the big city stuff?
I don't know. I don't know.
Right. She she drives to Montana.
(20:56):
The town is called, It's a real town.
Kalispell. Kalispell, it's real and she she
drives to Montana. There's a whole scene of her
like with a map getting lost. On the version I watched, the
sound was cut out because it must have been a Christmas song
(21:18):
and I couldn't hear what it was.But but yes, she drives.
It's all sorts of debauchery happened with the map.
And she's like looking up and, you know, comedy gold.
Yeah, she gets lost a lot. She is constantly relying on
maps. Does take place in 2009.
Right, it does. OK, GPS is pretty widely
available. It it would, it would have been
(21:39):
a Garmin. And you know, yeah, if you have
a Garmin in your car, someone's gonna break in and steal that on
the dash. We had a TomTom, right?
We had a TomTom that. Was right TomTom Christmas?
Gift in 08 because we didn't have any money.
We were in Saint Louis, and it was a lifesaver.
That TomTom. Yeah, Like, yeah, hooking up
your computer to download the maps.
What a time to be alive. I love that a company was like,
(22:01):
what do we call it? A TomTom British company for
sure right has. It TomTom.
Yeah, Garmin was too expensive. We couldn't do Garmin.
It's too. Expensive.
Oh OK, my bad. My bad.
Can't have money? Patrick, there was a third one
that was like started with an M What is it?
Magellan. Magellan there.
Wasn't, you know, but Kristen doesn't need any of that.
She's just doing a map. Let us know what GPS is your
(22:24):
favorite deck. over.com. Touch, vote, vote, vote.
Yeah, totally smash that subscribe button.
Watch us on philophilo.tv/DTH. Speaking of Philo, I think we
should take a quick break. OK, we should take a quick break
and we'll come back and we'll dive more into the actual 12 men
that are of Christmas here on. Let's get to the map.
That. Lifetime.
(22:52):
Sounds like the producers back there was a real itchy trigger
finger there. I.
Don't know if I could do that again.
Nope, couldn't. It's impressive.
Wow. OK, so we're back.
Kristen's in Montana now, Yeah. And her rent for a whole house
(23:17):
is $525.00 a month. Wow.
And this is in the middle of a financial recession in our
country in two. 1009 but there she's like blown away by that.
And she's like, what? And the person who's like
showing her the house is like, is that too much?
And she's like, no, it's gonna be great.
So just different, you know, different New York to Montana,
(23:38):
it's different. So much comedy found in that
city. Girl in a small town.
They should never do this more often.
Yeah, yeah, You know, I think this could be where it
originated. Maybe not originated, but you
know, it's an older 1. So she goes to the town.
Of course, the, the, the, there's like the police station
(24:00):
or I don't know, I guess it's like the, what's it called, like
the City Council or something, something.
Like that? Yeah, and she's like meeting the
mayor. And he's like, oh, I'm so glad
to have you. You're gonna be so great for
Montana. What do you need?
She's like, I need my own office, and I need an assistant
immediately. And the assistant is Anna Chums.
(24:22):
Chums Chumsky. Chumsky.
And her name's Jan in the movie.She doesn't really get much to
do. She's too good for this movie.
And you know, what a waste of talent.
What a waste. What a waste.
She. Doesn't have much to do.
Yeah, fair. She's the Beverly Metro love
this week. Totally.
She's great in Veep. Great.
(24:44):
She's she's good. She's also in the movie that
Veep is based on called in the Loop.
Great in there too. I.
Want to be in the loop? Yeah, I want to.
Be in the light. So we made our first hunk.
His name's Will. He is the town's George Clooney,
and everyone knows that's what they call.
That's. What they literally call him, he
(25:05):
is talking at the post office and he's like getting really in
the weeds with like how his aunt's doing or whatever.
And Kristen gets so mad. She cuts in front of him in
line. And she's like, I have to send
this package. And he's like, well, don't you
think you're important? I guess I'll just go back in in
line and, you know, wait there while you're doing this.
(25:27):
And she's like, I'm from New York.
That's exactly right. That's exactly right.
She doesn't have time. She's not used to these small
town people, like telling everybody about their life.
It's just like I got a packet, Igot to do something with the
mail, let's do this thing. Yeah, yeah, she's.
From the city, Dan, Yeah. Things have got to move, they've
(25:48):
got to move. She beats another hunk.
His name's Eric. He works as a volunteer
firefighter. And they have, like, a little
BBQ for to raise money. They have a bake sale.
And she's like, this is so cute.You guys eat carbs.
And they're like, haha, weirdo. Yeah, of course we eat carbs.
That's exactly right. Now the town has tasks tat.
(26:11):
You got it. Wait for.
It Are you ready? Are you ready?
Can I put my glasses? On China with.
The town has tasked her with like helping with with tourism
and whatnot and from the big city, yes.
And what she notices is that this town doesn't know how to
raise money. So they're like raising money
for like a more fire department stuff to keep people safe and
(26:34):
whatnot. And she's like, how are people
gonna come to this town if they don't feel safe?
And then the unspeakable happens.
Patrick she's not. She's watching the telly.
She's watching the TV and there's been an avalanche and
someone died. Moral of the story is they don't
(26:54):
have they don't have the equipment needed to really deal
with what they need to deal withto keep people safe.
And all they're doing is doing little bake sales.
And Kristen says no more of this.
We have to make sure that peoplefeel safe so that if they feel
safe, they will come to our town.
And that is when she gets the idea of all ideas.
(27:17):
Which is what Patrick. She gets an idea because this
guy drops off some old calendarsof Montana pictures.
Here we go. And they're like, who wants to
hang that on the wall? Some nature?
No thanks. And I agree, nature is boring
and she's like light bulb. She sees all these cute guys and
(27:37):
you know, she's like OK, maybe we'll do a calendar.
She doesn't say it out loud. She doesn't say it out loud
because she first has to see oneof the hunks butt ass naked.
Really very naked she. Goes to a a like a venue to like
check out like a a a fundraising.
It's like a rich dude's house that yeah, they're, they might
(27:58):
have a a party at or something. And in the pool, swimming naked
is, well, totally naked. And he?
Patrick is committed to naked. He gets out of the pool and he's
got his naked body and his pink goes out.
I mean, she's like not much to see here.
(28:19):
It's just. So crazy to me that anybody if
they you know one. I don't swim naked naked if I.
Either naked nor. If I slam naked and somebody
came up to the pool, I'd be freaking out.
What I wouldn't do is immediately get out of the pool
and go look at here, look at what I have.
(28:43):
But that's what he does. That's what he does.
His first reaction when she walks up is to I gotta get I.
Gotta get out of the pool. Look at here.
It's him. If you watched a movie, really,
you're like, Oh my gosh. He really does.
And it's like, dude, like put itaway.
That's crazy. That's crazy.
(29:03):
I've definitely gone skinny dippy in my time and it's
usually at night, not in the middle of the day.
That's right. But if someone, if someone comes
up, you're not jumping out of the pool right and going lucky
here. No, that's no that that is like.
Psychotic. Yeah, it's a salt, but also.
Right. I'm like, she didn't ask for
that. No, no, no.
(29:24):
So she tells him, you know, basically like this is where she
gets the idea. She she's like, we're going to
do a naked man calendar to raisemoney.
It's so great. She makes the pitch at the fire
station and all the men are like, haha, we're never going to
do that. And she's like, you guys, you're
(29:44):
normal looking men, you're real men.
We want to see real men, not models on the calendar.
And I'm like, these guys are models.
So these guys are models. They have like one guy who's
like. The mayor?
Yeah. He but even the mayor is ripped.
He's just bald. Yeah, you know that's.
Right. The other eleven are models.
(30:06):
Real dudes, right? Yeah, there's one guy who's like
Steven. Hazar is trying to be a normal
dude. Exactly.
Exactly. 2009 Steven Hazar. That's right, it's like prime
Steven Hazar. Minus and he's not minus.
I, I'm, I don't know, I think he's pretty prime. 15 years ago,
yeah. So Kristen Shanowitz works on
nailing down these 12 men. She gets the the mayor is on
(30:29):
board, the hot cop is on board. We get 2 pairs of rival brothers
who like weirdly do it because the other brother's doing it and
they don't want to be left out staying with the long hair.
Competitive. And so it's like, I can't, my
brother can't, he's showing his body, 'cause, you know, I gotta
show my body type of thing, which is exactly how we got
into. That situation, the situation
(30:50):
where you know what I'm talking about and I get we're both
embarrassed and we're both sorry.
Hey, things happen. Also we.
Don't have a stack of spares in our car at all time?
No, don't ask. Eric, the guy that Jan likes,
he's religious, but he's gonna do the calendar.
Everyone's doing it except for Will.
(31:11):
Will's not. For some reason he doesn't want
to get naked. Naked.
He's like, no, I think this is objectifying men and I don't
want to do it. Wow, hot take.
Yeah, it is. It is a hot take.
But then the men start, you know, not eating carbs, working
(31:31):
out their their girlfriends and wives are like you got to get
ready for the calendar, slappingDonuts out the hand.
I mean it, it's, it's the, the typical like fat jokes of the
era, that's what. We're doing this week for
Bramblefest. I did I.
Have no. Carb.
Did I have my parlor doughnut this morning?
Yeah, I still did. Of course I did 'cause I didn't
(31:52):
know that rule. Yeah.
I mean, she slapped out of your hand.
If you want a doughnut, eat a doughnut.
No, I'm. Gonna eat doughnuts?
The men have locker room talk and like compare bodies and are
like, oh, your body is like whatever it it gets weird.
It gets weird there it. Sounded.
Weird. Yeah, it's yeah.
(32:13):
It's a different type of locker room talk.
It's not like you. Know it's not the locker room
talk talk that we've. That's exactly got it.
Got it. OK, so when I say AB sailing you
say? Let's go.
Am I supposed to know something to say?
You say, what's that? What's that exactly right?
(32:34):
You would think that it's sailing, right?
AB sailing like some type. Of sailing, yes.
No sailing. It's nice.
Some type of mountain climbing, like rappelling down a mountain.
Yeah, you use your abs a lot. It's an AB, say yeah, no, you
and I went AB sailing last. Week.
That's exactly right. Call it Thursday.
What's fun is that some rock climbing and propelling you
(32:57):
don't use. Did you say propelling?
Repelling. Repelling you're.
Not on a boat. Some that's exactly and that's
the problem here. Some of that time you don't use
your ABS. This is particular to the ABS
and everyone. Knows Chenowetz is very confused
she shows up in a little sail outfit she has like, you know
her little Dickie on and the hatand the whole thing and
(33:19):
everyone's like what are you wearing we're rappelling down
this mountain and and then she'slike oh OK well I can just do it
in this. She goes down the mountain.
She's doing really good. She's like the view is
beautiful. I understand why you like
Montana now and then she she gets a fear like over her like
she loses her footing and she can't can't move.
(33:41):
She has like. A panic attack.
She's like freaking out. So will our naked guy who's
wearing clothes now goes down rappels down the the mountain.
For now. For now, wearing clothes and
he's like, you can do this, you're OK.
And she's like, Oh my gosh, thank you so much, you helped
me. And now they're like falling for
each other and. He's just a normal.
(34:02):
Guy falling for each other nailed it.
Normal guy. So Will has a change of heart,
of course, now that he likes Kristen and he's like gonna do
the calendar. But he wants his his like
company. I guess he owns like a sports
store, sports sporting goods store.
He wants that to be the the sponsor.
(34:23):
And Kristen's like, you know what, you're not very nice.
And I don't want to like becausehe's like, I like you, but like
you're so annoying. And I can't believe I actually
like somebody who's as rude and like city and New Yorkie as you.
And she's like, that's not a wayto talk to somebody who you
like. And I don't need your
sponsorship. It was A and a bold way to tell
(34:46):
somebody that you're into them to be like, I here's I actually
like. There's like a ton about you
that I hate. Yeah, it was so rude.
Everything going on wrong with you?
Yeah, after all this time. So we finally get to our photo
montage, which lasts a very longtime, maybe 5 minutes.
(35:07):
On 34th St. in the Moon. Yes, OK, very much.
So we're not upset about it though, are we?
I mean, like it is. Look at that guy next to the
horse. Oh, that is the guy from Cougar
Town. There he is.
You're right. Yes, there is.
Cougar Town next to a horse. Next to a horse, for some reason
we have the mayor in a hot tub. We have a hunk fishing we have a
(35:29):
hunk by a tree. We have a hunk camping we have a
hunk with a dog. We have a hunk chopping down a
tree. Everyone's not naked.
They're they're just shirtless. Just shirtless.
Yeah, at some point they droppedcalendar.
That's exactly right. That's I was confused.
Did I miss something? No, no, they just didn't do the
(35:50):
naked part. When the guy first, when the
first guy walked up for photo shoot and he had pants on, I was
expecting another one of those. All right, drop, drop it.
But they never dropped. It they just another one of
those? All right, drop it.
Yeah, like, like naked guy. Earlier I thought it was gonna
be naked like that, but it's not.
They didn't. They didn't drop it.
(36:11):
They shot it. Look at the camera.
Yeah, yeah. So the the pictures turn out
nice. The pictures turn out nice.
It's. Very nice.
Not what we were expecting. The town, however, does the
thing, which also happens in a Mandy Moore movie.
You might remember A Walk to Remember I.
Remember it? Boy do I there is a part in a
watcher remember where they takeMandy Moores head and they put
(36:34):
it on a naked body and it's so embarrassing for her because
she's a good religious girl and the the the vinegar body do you
maybe the same. I saw it in the theater with my
now wife and I gotta be honest, I remember hating it.
That's the only thing I remember.
About it. They're making fun of her
because she's such a little goody goody, and so they would
(36:54):
Photoshop her face. OK, yeah, if you say so.
So that happens to the mayor here.
The mayor gets his head put on anaked body and everyone laughs
at the bar. They're like ha ha with your I'm
Naked. Yeah, they're so mean.
They I'm like they're raising money for charity, you guys
(37:14):
like. This guy's a grown to.
Support the cause. Mayor of a Montana town.
Why does he care? He'd just be like, that's not me
and move along. No, it's.
Him, he, he was really upset, OK.
And he's like, he's like Landon,I have cancer.
What? What?
I'm quoting a I'm quoting a watcher, remember?
Oh, no, sorry. I.
(37:35):
Thought I thought that I'm sorry, she says.
I'm sorry. And she says she doesn't say I
have kids. I saw we.
Should do a cancer subplot in this movie and I was not
prepared. No, that's the.
That's the watcher. Remember.
Yeah, Watch her remember. Because she has she has a walk,
she remembers. Sick.
Yeah, yeah, she says. I'm sick.
I'm sick. Landish.
I love that movie. Do you really?
Yeah. So good.
(37:56):
So. Good.
It's great. Terrible.
Great Switchfoot. Wow, they're a Christian band.
Who knew? Who knew?
I've seen him live a number of times and like a bunch of times
didn't make that any better. Did Krista Chenowitz get you
tickets? She probably.
Did. Yeah, she probably did.
I mean, early on didn't take much to get Switchfoot tickets.
(38:17):
She took four or five albums before anybody knew it.
I yeah I love that movie. Watched it OK so shit within the
last 12 months. I'll probably watch it again in
the next 12. How does anyone love that movie?
I mean, I know. That movie sucked.
I went. You were.
You were seeing you were 12 now.I didn't watch it when I was 10,
I watched it when I was an adult.
(38:39):
God. Mandy Moore dying with a great
soundtrack. Falling in love.
Sounded like you wanted her to die so it sounded like yeah OK
alright yeah I, I, I feel betterThe the consensus is is.
Not yeah, three to one. Once again you are in the
minority and some it makes you artsy, makes you I've sibus film
boy. I thought I was minor in film
(39:02):
criticism. Lose my mind you 'cause I was
talking to the three of you and it turns out, no, that movie
does in fact suck. Well, there you go.
But you know, in my presentation, in my PowerPoint,
it was a highlight, the highlight of that of that
presentation. OK, so we're, we're back to the
holiday season and Kristen Chenoweth gets the calendars
(39:25):
printed and they look so good. They throw a party.
Everyone has like an easel with their naked picture.
They're taking pictures by theirnaked picture.
And everyone starts slow dancing.
Yeah, as you do, yeah. And everyone couples off.
You know, Kristen, I know it waskind of talking to Steven.
(39:47):
Steven Hazar, yes, but she has committed to Will.
So they're dancing. We realize she's very short.
But it's also a little bit confusing because they were like
kind of a thing, her and Hazar, but then Hazar just kind of like
disappears. And Hazar was naked guy's like
(40:09):
best friend. And now and now they like hate
each other. And at this point in time, we
don't know why that is. She's like, well, that's crazy.
And so she and Hazar are kind ofhaving a thing.
He disappears for a while, starts, you know, obviously
falling for naked guy. And now you're in a bit of a
sticky wicked here. Right.
(40:29):
Yeah, because there's too many men.
You know when you have 12 men you you might fall in love with
more than one. You might fall in love with two.
Two of them, not 12. I would fall in love with all
12. Everyone has their their they
bring something unique to the table.
You know they can't be compared.No, you can't.
(40:50):
So Jen and Anna Chlumsky. Oh God, I'm so bad with you got.
It you nailed it. Answers Kristin Chenoweth's
phone and it's Gucci pump boss. Gucci pump boss is like, I need
Kristen to come back to work. I have a job I have I will
double the salary. I will even not wear my Gucci
(41:13):
pumps anymore and Gucci pump. We can leave the Gucci pumps in
the past. Oh, I'm, I forgot to mention,
Kristen, like totally breaks this woman's shoes in the
bathroom at the beginning and it's hilarious.
That is revenge. That is revenge.
And Speaking of breaking stuff, how about we head to a break?
Wow. See what I did?
(41:33):
I did that on purpose. Yeah, you sure did.
We're right back here. That show prep.
At the homework. So I lift my hands and pray.
Yeah, I've seen Mandy Moore perform that song live.
(41:56):
Yeah, you have. And it was amazing.
She's like, I've never seen thissince the movie.
Here we go. She's sang it for you.
You had to be lying. She wasn't lying.
It was like on the IT was on like BuzzFeed the next day, like
Mandy Moore performs the first time ever this song live.
Wow. And I was like, you were not
(42:17):
your day. And is that the constant you?
Got a ticket coming back from? Oh, probably.
You know, I could take a look. I felt like you drove home to
see Mandy Moore and then when you were driving back you got
pulled over. Maybe in the Corolla going 1000
miles an. Hour.
I'm just saying it was, it was great.
(42:39):
Yeah, I mean, if I heard Mandy Moore sing that song, I'd also
speed. That's exciting.
Yes, yes. So we're we have the yes, we
have praying, but but Kristen Chenoweth needs to be praying
because the phone, the phone lady boss it we get a a
miscommunication that happens with the phone conversation.
(43:01):
So Will overhears the conversation about moving back
to New York. And.
Yeah, they get into an argument and she's like, forget it, I'm
taking that job. I'm going back to New York.
He's really mean. He's mean.
He's like, he's like, I don't even really want you to stay.
He's like unnecessarily mean. There's like, there's like maybe
(43:23):
maybe 25% of this movie where he's not a jerk, maybe.
Tops, right? And I think on Cougar Town, he's
also a jerk. Kind of a jerk on Cougar Town,
but he's. Just good at playing jerk.
I think everybody on Cougar Town's a bit of a jerk.
I, I watched a couple of seasonsof it.
Like I, I feel like that's kind of the vibe, but everyone is
kind of a jerk. I think OK could be wrong.
(43:43):
There you go. Is that Abed's favorite show?
I think so. And then?
He's like, yeah, does a, does a cameo and.
Yeah, 'cause then TBS picked it up.
I think there's a whole thing there all right.
Wow. OK, yeah.
So we're back in New York. Kristen is thinking about.
She just has like flashbacks to all the Montana memories, which
should be a song. Montana memories, it should be.
(44:03):
And she, like, leaves the city in the middle of a presentation
after hearing about an avalanche.
So they have an avalanche. And she's like, oh, my gosh.
Well, he's in trouble. She goes to the hospital.
This is my favorite part of the movie.
This is my favorite part. I'm going to say it right now.
She goes to the hospital. The nurse is in the room, like
(44:25):
pulling the sheets off the bed. And Kristen's like, where is he?
And the nurse is like, he's gone.
And Kristen, Kristen, like, Oh my God, she has a sad moment.
Like genuinely sad. Like sad music behind.
Music. He's gone.
It is a full. It's an arrest.
It is not. Oh, it's good.
(44:47):
It's good. I mean it's.
Like I'm, I'm afraid we lost himand it turns out they they
couldn't. Find him?
Yeah, they can't find him. Right, yes.
Well, then Will shows up on crutches and he's like, why are
you so upset? And then Kristen's like, Oh my
God, you're here. They make out.
Then the same nurse walks by andsees them making out.
(45:08):
She rushes over to the nurse station and rips up Mr.
December, who happens to be Will.
She's like, I guess I'm not going to be sleeping with Mr.
December then and throws it in the trash.
Wow. And and KC decides she's gonna
move to Montana. Yeah.
Because it's just better there. She missed it already.
(45:30):
And. But you know, I think one it's
one of those things where you realize I didn't really.
She goes back to the big city. She's like I.
Didn't like the big city? Because at one point they're
walking down and she's like, herfriend is like, I found this
amazing place for 4.5 million. And then it cuts back to the guy
saying $525 and she's like, oh, man, yeah.
Yeah, a condo. A condo for four million.
(45:53):
Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's?
Your salary in those two places,yeah.
That's true. That's that's true.
So yes, they have a little gathering at their house.
It snows outside, the camera pans out to the through the
window and that whole bit. And that's the movie.
Yeah, that's it. 12 minute Christmas.
That's right. We did it okay, now we either
(46:15):
pour it up or put a cork in it. Pour it up means you are into
it. Put a cork in it means you would
not be into it. And Dan, since you watch this
movie with your imagination, we will see a.
Pretty good. Job.
You guys did a good job. You did a good job today and you
guys were invested in the details.
That always leads me to believe how you're feeling about the
movie. This is tough.
(46:37):
I'm a huge Kristen Chenoweth fan.
I saw her first on The West Wing.
Really loved her in Pushing Daisies.
She's got a great voice. She pops up and other stuff.
She's really funny. She was in Holiday, which we
watched. She's in a bunch of stuff where
she's really funny. She was good in Christmas Love
Story. I think she's really good.
I love Anna Klumsky. She's in this movie dude from
(46:58):
Cougar Town. It seems like a movie that if I
watched I would give a This is better than most but not my
thing Vibe 2. For the sake of this podcast,
I'm gonna pour it up. OK, I'm gonna pour it bran.
Oh, I'm thinking. I'm pouring it all the way up.
I love this movie. It was wacky.
It was wild. It was not what I was expecting.
(47:21):
I was fully when once she says we're gonna do a a Nike calendar
and I realized that's why it wascalled 12 minute Christmas.
I was like, okay, we got something cool going on here.
Casey is the delights. All the hunks are just kind of
like whatever. They don't really matter cuz
Casey is so good. That's what I call her.
(47:42):
But that's me and her. We're friends.
That's what I call her. I call her because I know
Patrick, you have a different kind of relationship.
But yeah, I love this movie. I thought it was super fun,
super weird, and a real 2009 delight for Bran.
Yeah, definitely in 2009 for sure.
So guys, I'm going against the grain.
I'm going to put a cork in it because oh boy, I.
(48:03):
Thought. I thought it wasn't sexy enough.
It wasn't what I remember being so scandalous at the time.
I was like, wow, this movie's really going there back in the
day. And now I'm watching it with my
2024 glasses, not contacts. And yeah, I'm like, this is way
tamer and lamer than I remember it being.
(48:24):
So I think compared like, at thetime, it was like, whoa, this is
so groundbreaking. But now it compared to
everything else that has come out and everything I've seen,
there's definitely sluttier Lifetime Christmas movies.
And you know, I'm here for that.I mean, but Hallmark would still
not do this. They wouldn't have, they
wouldn't have a a shirtless calendar.
(48:46):
So there's that. You're right, they wouldn't and
they wouldn't market it as a NICA calendar 1st.
That's the that's the one part that I will give a big strike
against this. I do think you're right about
it. Like they, the first part of
this movie, you're like, they are gonna do something 'cause
they're talking about how they're going to like cover
their parts with an axe and stuff like that.
And then they just don't do any of that.
It's just. Pain.
(49:06):
They don't. And there's that movie.
What's that movie, that British movie, The Full Monty where they
do that And I'm like, that movieis so good and there's not like
another. Movie where a bunch of old
British people make a calendar. Like, yeah, Calendar Girls.
Calendar Girls. Yeah, that's it.
Right. So like, let's do it.
It's been done before. So that's my, that's my
(49:29):
reasoning. That's my reasoning.
Can you read this review that you have on lifetime on cork
dot? Com Oh I forgot yes so I I do
read the IMDb reviews just to see what people are writing and
this one was really good honestly.
This isn't quotes. Honestly I've watched this one
because I had nothing better to do and I was enjoying my supper
(49:51):
meanwhile. My supper.
How was it good this movie? 12 men of Christmas?
Are you kidding? That's it.
What? They said their they said their
supper was good and the movie was like not that great.
OK, cool. I wonder what they had for
supper? Yeah, what a time do I review
Good. For you, I love supper.
(50:12):
Supper's like my favorite meal. Yeah, I think I'm with you.
I don't know. Lunch.
It's not. I don't eat breakfast.
So it's one of those two. Yeah, I'll have to get back to
you, Patrick. We're so excited to hang out
this weekend at Bramel Fest again.
I want to reiterate my excitement to touch you and
really excited about the game show Palouse.
(50:32):
I think that's going to be a tonof fun and we only have one more
Christmas in July movie that we're doing here on deck to
Lifetime uncourt and it is a we go from straight sexy to a
totally different flavor just bythe title.
Heaven sent maybe a little religious angle from Lifetime,
(50:54):
which I didn't know they did. They they pull it out every now
and then. They they let Jesus take the
wheel every now and. You have to.
You have to was. I can't wait for that.
It's gonna be next week. Very much looking forward to
that. And at some point in the near
future, maybe if you're lucky, everybody, you'll get to hear
(51:14):
the game show Palooza. Maybe no promises.
No promises, best way to do it. Of course, like the
homer.com/fest, you can watch itlive.
Yes, we can play live in the live stream.
Play live in the live stream. We've got all those logistics
figured out. Yeah, we do.
It's gonna be amazing. We're really good at planning.
We are all right, until next time we the 1st to wish you.
A Merry Christmas Think, the Hallmarks of Bravo Jam podcast,
(51:37):
is produced by Aaron Shea. Yes.
For more information on Deck thehomework you can go to
deckthehallmark.com. For more information on the Deck
the Hallmark family, you can go to bramblejamplus.com.
Deck the Hallmark is presented by Philo TV.
For a free trial of Philo, go tophilo.tv/DTH.
Hi, I'm Brandon. I love Lifetime Christmas
movies. I'm Patrick Serrano and I'm
liking Christmas movies more. I'm Dan and I despise Lifetime
Christmas movies and this is theday all over my God check.
The Hallmark. It's his podcast.
We hope you like this Dolly podcast,
(00:33):
yes? Oh boy, you know what?
People around the world are standing up, they are excited,
they are cheering because we're talking about 12 men of
Christmas. I'm shook a little bit because
ever since I've known Patrick Serrano, he has introduced
himself on this podcast as Hi, I'm Patrick Serrano and I'm a
(00:56):
Lifetime movie. X Well, what was it the first
week of July? He said He's not ready for
Christmas. He's not ready.
He did, yes. OK, so maybe I just made that up
in my head. I've been, well, you know, I am
a Lifetime movie expert, but since Christmas.
Yes, of course, yeah. Yeah, he's been.
Christmas in July, I'm mixing itup a little bit.
Mixing it up in July. Experiment, yeah.
(01:16):
It's right. We know, we know, The New York
Times said that I'm a lifetime expert.
So we sure did. Yeah, I sure do.
We You remember when the Wall Street Journal put us in their
paper and we went to find an actual copy?
Yeah. That physical paper.
Impossible. Impossible.
Yeah, we had to go to. Barnes and Noble to find it,
Yes. Really.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
I don't even know that mine was printed in like paper.
(01:39):
I think it was an online an Ellistical or whatever they call
it Ellistical. I well, we also got a got
published in the Greer. What was it?
The There's something something Greer Weekly.
Taylors, Taylors Times. Yeah, it was for Simpsonville.
There's something, I don't remember what it was.
Whatever big deal for. We've been around, we understand
how it works. Absolutely.
(02:01):
Any local paper. Any any local paper, We'll we'll
talk to you. Of course, you should talk to
your local paper, Patrick. I've been in it.
For what? Really.
For what? Notable alumni of Blake High
School. You were notable for doing the
podcast. For being a Lifetime person, I
guess I don't know. It was like a yeah, yeah, It was
(02:23):
about like my Lifetime movie andall that.
I don't know They they literallyjust he found my Instagram and
took wrote a story about it in. A mere 2.
Days. You're gonna be doing a lifetime
game show, Palooza live at Bramble Fest.
How you? Oh, yeah, I finished my
presentation. This was this is homework, you
guys. No one told me.
(02:45):
I haven't made a PowerPoint since I my.
OK, get ready Dan, but I had to do a persuasive essay or
persuasive presentation in College in a in a communications
class and my topic was why you should like Mandy Moore.
Of course it was the actress thethe triple threat.
Please tell me what's the third one, Singer.
(03:08):
Actor Motto. Motto Commercial.
Commercial actors. Yes, of course, Triple threat.
Please tell me you still have that presentation, Patrick.
I do not. But it was a PowerPoint.
I remember that. And, you know, it had the chimes
and the zoom in. I put a lot of work into that.
Yeah, I did all that. And let me tell you,
(03:28):
PowerPoint's come a long way. This this game show looks a lot
better than it's called my MandyWarp presentation.
That's how far they've. Come camba, camba.
I did. I did Canva.
Yeah, Canva's easy, easy. Very easy dropping dropping.
Drop and drag, drop and drag. Can you give us a tease like
(03:48):
something like something about it that we we won't understand
now but will understand later? OK, yes, I put in a lot of
thought into this and it can be played in person and online.
Wow. So, you know, we, I wanted it to
(04:09):
be interactive for the people also watching in the live stream
because, you know, it's no fun to play a game and watch other
people play. So wait, what does that mean?
How are they gonna be able to interact now?
I'm just asked. Well, it's.
No longer A-Team. So like, you know, if we have
teams, we'll have an online team.
Why not? Great.
OK, maybe the online team will win also.
Are they cheating? They could be cheating, but but
(04:30):
we'll do they. Could be cheating.
Yeah, we'll do. Honor System.
The Virtual Ticket. That dahmer.com/fast.
Still available and for your money as good a deal.
I mean, you get everything. Bang for buck?
I mean, it's there, it's all there for you.
And if you're worried you're notgonna be able to watch it live,
you get a link so you have it in.
Perpetuity. In perpetuity, you have it
(04:51):
forever. So you can still get that
ticket. The, the, the tickets for in
person closed, shut down, but virtual tickets, I mean, that's
the, that's the you. You got to get one.
You got to get one. I'm very excited about this
weekend. It's going to be a lot of fun.
And I think the thing that I'm most excited about is just like
just being able to like touch everybody.
(05:12):
You wanna touch everybody? It's a weird thing to say out
loud. Well, like all all my friends
and I. Being able to touch everybody.
Like Patrick, I can't wait to touch Patrick.
Yeah, yeah, I I'm fine with that.
And I know the feelings. Patrick is is neutral on that.
He's like, whatever. Yeah, it's great.
No, I think. We're good.
I I will see Patrick and I will touch him and then this will be
(05:34):
a good. Time.
So many ways you can say it. I don't understand what's wrong
with it. Just can't, just can't wait to
see everybody give him a hug. I can't wait to.
I'll see Patrick. I'll touch him.
It'll be great. That sounds you.
You don't admit that sounds weird.
I'd think that is totally fine. OK.
All right, fine. OK, great.
It's time to talk about today's movie, which is.
(05:55):
Well, yeah, Speaking of touching12 Men of Christmas. 12 Men of
Christmas. Wow.
Now I got in the chat. People are like really fired up
about this movie, so. Yeah, there's, there's a,
there's a lot to talk about. And before we start, I have to
say I misremembered this movie. It might be another Christmas
(06:15):
movie. I thought, remembering this from
2009, 2009, you guys, Kristin Chenoweth was gonna be.
She told me. I could call her that.
She told me. OK, she said.
Of course. Yes, KC, the whole.
Chenoweth finally wonderful people.
Right. I thought that Christa Chenoweth
was going to be dating 12 men atChristmas, right?
(06:38):
What did you have thought that that's what this is?
Called 12 men at Christmas wouldmake me think that there are 12
dudes that she dates over any period of Christmases.
So it could be 12 different Christmases could be one
Christmas. That would be my understanding
of that. That is totally what I thought,
totally what I remember it was like, Oh yeah, there's all these
hunks, so many hunks, but it's not, it's a calendar.
(07:01):
It's a calendar. It's.
Calendar related. So there's there are still
hunks. There are still hunks, but she's
not going on a date with all thehunks.
That's so we got Riggs sent us aFitzy's calendar and it was, it
was tough. We couldn't get to February
before we had to throw that thing out.
Oh no. Oh no.
It's not appropriate. Well, you wouldn't be throwing
this calendar outlet me tell you.
(07:23):
OK, so the movie stars, what youmight know some of these people.
I wrote down the notable ones. There's a lot of people that one
of the guys was on Biggest Loser.
He was the Bob Harper replacement.
All right, great. I know that.
What that means. Bob Harper.
I don't know. Who?
Bob Harper. Wait, you guys, Bob Harper, he
was like one of the coaches on Biggest Loser.
(07:44):
He was like Bob, Bob Harper and Jillian Michaels.
Yes, I knew Jillian Michaels think.
I know about reality TV. Did you know Jillian Michaels
was induced? By 90% Biggest Loser I I I I I
know enough to make fun AmericanIdol jokes from the first two
seasons and from the first season of Survivor.
Richard Gervais, I That's all I got.
(08:06):
If you do anything aside from that, I'm going to be like, who
is this person? I wish we're going to have Bob.
Bob. Yeah, Bob Harper is Southern, so
I thought you guys knew him. OK, Yeah, well, we all we kind
of. It's a small circle.
And he's gay. He's gay.
So then I know him. There you go.
So we. Should all know him based on
those two attributes, yes. Not everyone, Only if you're
southern or gay. That's a big swath of people,
(08:30):
Patrick. And if you're gay and Southern,
you definitely know Bob Harper. There's.
Absolutely. Absolutely.
And you know, those are my favorite type of gays.
I love when they they gays just like, bless your heart.
Yeah, you know, And I'm like, Ohmy God, I am so dumb.
And not from the South. How, how Dan and I grew up,
there's a chance that the reasonwe didn't know him was because
he was gay. So that could have been the,
(08:50):
yeah, that could have true thing, yeah.
You're like a lot. Of overlap there at least out in
public the the do you don't consider yourself southern being
from the Maryland Virginia area Patrick.
Correct. There are southern, there are
southern parts of Maryland. I will give you that.
If you go to the Western Maryland, it is very country.
(09:12):
You go to the Eastern Shore, it is country.
Where I'm from is not southern. It's it's basically like DC
light. OK, so I've always like as an
actual Southerner, like Virginiais like barely southern to me.
And Virginia likes to think thatthey're Southern and they have a
huge part in the Civil War. I'll grant them the history,
but. You will grant them civil war.
(09:33):
But Robert E Lee is struggling. We will grant you.
I just that like a lot of peoplein Maryland, like when I lived
in Saint Louis, people were like, well, we're southern.
And I'm like, no, no, you're, you're not southern.
So at least you, you get it. At least you understand.
Oh yeah, I mean, my grandma was from Macon, GA, so she was
Southern, you know? That cred is unimpeachable, yes.
(09:56):
Nice, nice. I know about pimento and cheese,
I know about all that stuff. So don't worry guys.
Wait, is that not what it's called?
It's pimento cheese, that's all it is.
Oh, sorry. But you know, like I, I get the
vibe I had fried chicken growingup, Like made from a pan.
Yeah, the good stuff anyways. OK, Yeah.
(10:17):
Bob Harper, not in this movie, not in this movie, but Kristen
Chenowitz, Yes, she's in this movie.
You know her from from Broadway and from.
Pushing daisies Pushing daisies Christmas love story on Hallmark
lots of. Things Oh yeah, that with that
wolf guy with that Will Will Albrecht.
Will Albrecht is from Cougar Town.
(10:37):
Was just the only thing I knew him from, but he's kind of kind
of cute. Chomsky.
Chomsky from Veep and my girl, Yeah.
My girl herself, and then finally Steven Huzzar.
Huzzar. Huzzar.
That guy, I recognize him. He had long hair in this one.
(10:57):
Oh boy, I. Didn't even recognize him.
You, you said his name and I'm like, who?
How the hair was bad. The hair was bad.
OK, Jumping in. So we have Kristen Chenowitz.
She has it all. OK, well, I'm gonna say it wrong
every time. It's fine.
I know her in real life. We're friends.
OK, all right. You know, OK, that's fine.
(11:18):
I I have stories. That tell.
It's Chenoweth. OK, how are you saying?
Chenowitz. Like a Yeah Chenowitz.
I've heard it both ways. Only from Patrick.
Right and when you when you growup both.
Ways. When you grow up as a young gay,
sometimes the THS are hard to say.
So you work around it. You work around it.
(11:39):
OK, that's all I'm going to say.OK.
All right. To.
Say that, Patrick, you pronouncepeople however you want to.
There you go, she said. You give her that.
Permission. You don't give me that
permission. You weren't a young gay.
Right, it's true. That's.
Fair. New Yorker perfect.
She has an apartment, she has APR job, she has a fiance named
(12:02):
Noah, and she's nice. Like if you consider getting
Coldplay tickets a gift, right? She gets Coldplay tickets for
her assistant and her assistant is so excited. 2009, that's
huge. 2009 Huge. Huge.
Huge. That might be Gwyneth and that
guy Chris have an apple. Chris Morton.
(12:23):
Yeah, have an apple. Viva La Vida territory, right?
Yeah. So yeah, where she, let's just
say Kristin Chenoweth is connected.
She's very cool. Very connected, very cool.
She goes to a Christmas party, she looks fabulous the whole
movie. All her outfits are great, all
her hair impeccable, makeup impeccable, looks great.
(12:44):
Never doesn't never even puts onlike pajamas like she's, she's
just business all the time. She never puts on pajamas.
That's the big take away from the.
Bottom. Yeah, well, she probably kept
her wardrobe. So she's like, we're going
designer. Everything.
That's right. This is LIFETIME at its peak.
Christmas. So it's a Christmas party, Noah.
(13:07):
His contacts start acting up. Have you ever worn contacts,
guys? I have not, no.
I'm I'm perfect producer. I figure.
Is nodding and she's wearing them right now, she said.
Yeah, so you know now in current2424 times 20.
(13:27):
Times in 2024 we need to call someone for.
I knew exactly what you meant. Whoa, that's the caffeine.
Like kicking it? I think so.
Current 2024 times. Yeah, in current 24 times you
can get contacts that are softerand they don't hurt your eyes as
much. But back in 2009, they had these
little hard contacts that you would put in your eyes and they
(13:47):
would like sometimes like, like get in your eye, like feels like
a dust in your eye or something.So you had to go like splash
water on it or something. It was terrible, terrible times
for eye eye problems or eye eyesight.
Dan's so mad hearing. Terrible time through his phone
problems, yeah. I was.
I know, I know. Those people with eye issues.
Terrible. So he goes to the bathroom to
(14:09):
adjust his contact. Yep, sure he does.
Kristen Chenowitz is like, this is a great time to freshen up.
I'm gonna go to the powder room.As if she needs it.
Am I right, Patrick? She doesn't need it.
She she's not even, she's not even a Dewey.
She's just. Perfect.
She's not even Dewey. Yeah, I mean, Dewey is in now,
(14:30):
but it wasn't in 2009. Yeah, we all.
Do that. Yeah.
Come in the middle. That's right.
Set up you. Just wanna have a powdered face.
Real Brian Powder situation, Wasthat his name?
Brian Harper, What's his name? Bob Harper.
Bob Harr. Was very close, yeah.
Yes. So she goes to the bathroom,
she's on the phone with her sister.
She's talking and she's like, for some reason, she likes to
look at people's shoes in the stalls and see what shoes
(14:51):
they're wearing. Like while in the in the women's
bathroom, it means something different than a men's bathroom.
They're just, you know, like taking a taking a tinkle.
So she looks at the shoes and she's like, oh, are these a pair
of Gucci pumps? Are these a pair of Louboutins
that I bought for my boyfriend? Yes, her boyfriend is in the
(15:12):
stall hooking up with Kristin Chenoweth's boss.
Oh, Baronet. Boy.
Brunette boss. Dustin is.
I doubt it. Sheesh.
He was faking. He was using eyesight to have an
affair. And that's messed up, man.
Have you ever that's messed up right now, Patrick, do that.
(15:32):
So not have an affair, but have you ever used contacts or
glasses to get out of something?Yes.
I can't see without my glasses, so if I lose my glasses, I need
to be taken home by somebody immediately.
So yeah. So you've used that before in a
social situation? You'd be like I gotta.
Have you ever just you just threw your glasses, you can't
find them? Oh yeah, I'm like, I lost my
(15:54):
glasses. I gotta go.
I gotta leave. Somebody give me a while.
Yeah, my contact fell out. I gotta go home.
Wow. So this seems like it's a
regular occurrence for you. Oh, a good one is I got my eyes
dilated today. I can't work.
I can't see the computer. But that sounds like it's just
true. It is true but and I am
sensitive to the dilation but it's like 2 * a year.
(16:17):
I'm like I really can't work today.
A good one is I had surgery today and I can't work.
Patricks boss is like. Patrick and his eyes dilated
every week. I bet if you asked, if you asked
Leslie, she'd be like, yeah, I know the days I would come in
with sunglasses and like a towelover my head.
(16:38):
I'm like, it's so bright out there.
A towel. Over your.
Head is it Monday already? Huh.
It's. The Monday dilation.
Yes. So of course, Krista Chenoweth
breaks up with him. She packs up her desk at her
office, quits her job because her boss was like, you know,
also in on this. And Noah on the way out of the
(16:58):
office is like, can I have the engagement ring back?
It's messed up. Man.
And she's like, and she like gives it to him.
She's like, never talk to me again.
She goes home. She watches Miracle on 34th St.
for like the whole Christmas week into New Year's.
She doesn't leave the couch. She's eating Chinese, feeding
the dog Chinese. What she shouldn't do?
(17:21):
Yeah, the dog that's greasy. If the food's greasy, you don't
want to give it to a dog that's not good for their.
No, they can't. They can't eat cooked meat like
that. That's not look that's good for
them. So but it but Kristen does what
she wants. OK, Yeah.
As a as a close personal friend.That's right.
She's always been like that. That's right.
And she and she always has dogs.She always brings dogs
(17:43):
everywhere she goes. She always does so.
And they really show. The American on 34th St.
You guys, they really show little Natalie Wood being like,
Oh my dollhouse or whatever happens in my movies.
Do they show a lot of the movie or they just show a clip of it?
They show more than I've ever seen in any.
(18:03):
Public domain, right? But they show up like, I mean,
how much do you need to establish that?
I mean, you just need to see when they bring in all the
letters and you pretty much establish it, right?
Well, we don't see Santa gettinghis beard pulled and speaking in
that language to that kid, but we do see Natalie Wood and the
the mom, whatever her name was. Course, yeah.
(18:25):
Moira. Mary No, that's Jimmy Stewart.
He's he's not in that movie. He was asking for the name.
It's been a long time since I'veseen Miracle on 34th Street, but
anyways, yeah, New New Year's happens.
We like skip over Christmas. The whole movie is called 12
Minute Christmas, but Christmas is over.
It's over the 1st. 10 minutes. I was pretty worried.
(18:46):
About that, I mean, it's in the title.
I think you're gonna be OK. Are you?
You don't. As if, Dano, I hope you, I hope
you need glasses. And then you lose them.
If I ever need glasses, I probably am not doing contacts.
I'm going to just wear glasses. The idea of dealing with
contacts seems. Oh, they, but it sounds like the
(19:07):
technology's evolved. Yeah, I'll wear contacts to
Bramble Fest when I'm on stage, but if I'm like, you know,
getting breakfast, like I'll wear glasses.
Your glasses are iconic, Patrick.
You're not going to wear them onstage.
Not with our special guest, me. He's Here's the thing, he's
also. Patrick knows our special guest
and he's now very like attuned to the fact that he's trying to
(19:30):
like keep himself in order he. Is.
Remember yesterday certified sexy.
Now it's like I have to I have to get go get reapply because
I'm having doubts. No, you should never have to,
But the reason why you can't wear this guy, he's going to be
hosting the Palooza. That's true.
Like, that's a lot of moving. Around the palooza with glasses.
You take him off like chew on one in there.
(19:51):
True you guys, I don't really see that well with my contacts
so I might need to wear my glasses.
Wear the glasses. No, we would hate for you to
mess up reading that'd be. A.
A be that that'd be out of character.
Very out of character and I would not like it.
OK, OK, so Kristen gets a call after New Year's because she has
no job. Don't forget the Montana Board
(20:12):
of Tourism wants to hire Kristento come to the city for 12
months for like a a like bringing entrepreneurship to
Montana. Yeah, I don't really know why
how they all got in contact withher, but it's she needs a job
(20:32):
and she doesn't wanna go to Montana.
But she's talking to her friend and it's like, maybe this is
exactly what you need right now.Yeah, a fresh start a like some
some clean air. But but KC, KC is KC is New York
through and through. Could she make it in Montana?
Could she make it without the big city stuff?
I don't know. I don't know.
Right. She she drives to Montana.
(20:56):
The town is called, It's a real town.
Kalispell. Kalispell, it's real and she she
drives to Montana. There's a whole scene of her
like with a map getting lost. On the version I watched, the
sound was cut out because it must have been a Christmas song
(21:18):
and I couldn't hear what it was.But but yes, she drives.
It's all sorts of debauchery happened with the map.
And she's like looking up and, you know, comedy gold.
Yeah, she gets lost a lot. She is constantly relying on
maps. Does take place in 2009.
Right, it does. OK, GPS is pretty widely
available. It it would, it would have been
(21:39):
a Garmin. And you know, yeah, if you have
a Garmin in your car, someone's gonna break in and steal that on
the dash. We had a TomTom, right?
We had a TomTom that. Was right TomTom Christmas?
Gift in 08 because we didn't have any money.
We were in Saint Louis, and it was a lifesaver.
That TomTom. Yeah, Like, yeah, hooking up
your computer to download the maps.
What a time to be alive. I love that a company was like,
(22:01):
what do we call it? A TomTom British company for
sure right has. It TomTom.
Yeah, Garmin was too expensive. We couldn't do Garmin.
It's too. Expensive.
Oh OK, my bad. My bad.
Can't have money? Patrick, there was a third one
that was like started with an M What is it?
Magellan. Magellan there.
Wasn't, you know, but Kristen doesn't need any of that.
She's just doing a map. Let us know what GPS is your
(22:24):
favorite deck. over.com. Touch, vote, vote, vote.
Yeah, totally smash that subscribe button.
Watch us on philophilo.tv/DTH. Speaking of Philo, I think we
should take a quick break. OK, we should take a quick break
and we'll come back and we'll dive more into the actual 12 men
that are of Christmas here on. Let's get to the map.
That. Lifetime.
(22:52):
Sounds like the producers back there was a real itchy trigger
finger there. I.
Don't know if I could do that again.
Nope, couldn't. It's impressive.
Wow. OK, so we're back.
Kristen's in Montana now, Yeah. And her rent for a whole house
(23:17):
is $525.00 a month. Wow.
And this is in the middle of a financial recession in our
country in two. 1009 but there she's like blown away by that.
And she's like, what? And the person who's like
showing her the house is like, is that too much?
And she's like, no, it's gonna be great.
So just different, you know, different New York to Montana,
(23:38):
it's different. So much comedy found in that
city. Girl in a small town.
They should never do this more often.
Yeah, yeah, You know, I think this could be where it
originated. Maybe not originated, but you
know, it's an older 1. So she goes to the town.
Of course, the, the, the, there's like the police station
(24:00):
or I don't know, I guess it's like the, what's it called, like
the City Council or something, something.
Like that? Yeah, and she's like meeting the
mayor. And he's like, oh, I'm so glad
to have you. You're gonna be so great for
Montana. What do you need?
She's like, I need my own office, and I need an assistant
immediately. And the assistant is Anna Chums.
(24:22):
Chums Chumsky. Chumsky.
And her name's Jan in the movie.She doesn't really get much to
do. She's too good for this movie.
And you know, what a waste of talent.
What a waste. What a waste.
She. Doesn't have much to do.
Yeah, fair. She's the Beverly Metro love
this week. Totally.
She's great in Veep. Great.
(24:44):
She's she's good. She's also in the movie that
Veep is based on called in the Loop.
Great in there too. I.
Want to be in the loop? Yeah, I want to.
Be in the light. So we made our first hunk.
His name's Will. He is the town's George Clooney,
and everyone knows that's what they call.
That's. What they literally call him, he
(25:05):
is talking at the post office and he's like getting really in
the weeds with like how his aunt's doing or whatever.
And Kristen gets so mad. She cuts in front of him in
line. And she's like, I have to send
this package. And he's like, well, don't you
think you're important? I guess I'll just go back in in
line and, you know, wait there while you're doing this.
(25:27):
And she's like, I'm from New York.
That's exactly right. That's exactly right.
She doesn't have time. She's not used to these small
town people, like telling everybody about their life.
It's just like I got a packet, Igot to do something with the
mail, let's do this thing. Yeah, yeah, she's.
From the city, Dan, Yeah. Things have got to move, they've
(25:48):
got to move. She beats another hunk.
His name's Eric. He works as a volunteer
firefighter. And they have, like, a little
BBQ for to raise money. They have a bake sale.
And she's like, this is so cute.You guys eat carbs.
And they're like, haha, weirdo. Yeah, of course we eat carbs.
That's exactly right. Now the town has tasks tat.
(26:11):
You got it. Wait for.
It Are you ready? Are you ready?
Can I put my glasses? On China with.
The town has tasked her with like helping with with tourism
and whatnot and from the big city, yes.
And what she notices is that this town doesn't know how to
raise money. So they're like raising money
for like a more fire department stuff to keep people safe and
(26:34):
whatnot. And she's like, how are people
gonna come to this town if they don't feel safe?
And then the unspeakable happens.
Patrick she's not. She's watching the telly.
She's watching the TV and there's been an avalanche and
someone died. Moral of the story is they don't
(26:54):
have they don't have the equipment needed to really deal
with what they need to deal withto keep people safe.
And all they're doing is doing little bake sales.
And Kristen says no more of this.
We have to make sure that peoplefeel safe so that if they feel
safe, they will come to our town.
And that is when she gets the idea of all ideas.
(27:17):
Which is what Patrick. She gets an idea because this
guy drops off some old calendarsof Montana pictures.
Here we go. And they're like, who wants to
hang that on the wall? Some nature?
No thanks. And I agree, nature is boring
and she's like light bulb. She sees all these cute guys and
(27:37):
you know, she's like OK, maybe we'll do a calendar.
She doesn't say it out loud. She doesn't say it out loud
because she first has to see oneof the hunks butt ass naked.
Really very naked she. Goes to a a like a venue to like
check out like a a a fundraising.
It's like a rich dude's house that yeah, they're, they might
(27:58):
have a a party at or something. And in the pool, swimming naked
is, well, totally naked. And he?
Patrick is committed to naked. He gets out of the pool and he's
got his naked body and his pink goes out.
I mean, she's like not much to see here.
(28:19):
It's just. So crazy to me that anybody if
they you know one. I don't swim naked naked if I.
Either naked nor. If I slam naked and somebody
came up to the pool, I'd be freaking out.
What I wouldn't do is immediately get out of the pool
and go look at here, look at what I have.
(28:43):
But that's what he does. That's what he does.
His first reaction when she walks up is to I gotta get I.
Gotta get out of the pool. Look at here.
It's him. If you watched a movie, really,
you're like, Oh my gosh. He really does.
And it's like, dude, like put itaway.
That's crazy. That's crazy.
(29:03):
I've definitely gone skinny dippy in my time and it's
usually at night, not in the middle of the day.
That's right. But if someone, if someone comes
up, you're not jumping out of the pool right and going lucky
here. No, that's no that that is like.
Psychotic. Yeah, it's a salt, but also.
Right. I'm like, she didn't ask for
that. No, no, no.
(29:24):
So she tells him, you know, basically like this is where she
gets the idea. She she's like, we're going to
do a naked man calendar to raisemoney.
It's so great. She makes the pitch at the fire
station and all the men are like, haha, we're never going to
do that. And she's like, you guys, you're
(29:44):
normal looking men, you're real men.
We want to see real men, not models on the calendar.
And I'm like, these guys are models.
So these guys are models. They have like one guy who's
like. The mayor?
Yeah. He but even the mayor is ripped.
He's just bald. Yeah, you know that's.
Right. The other eleven are models.
(30:06):
Real dudes, right? Yeah, there's one guy who's like
Steven. Hazar is trying to be a normal
dude. Exactly.
Exactly. 2009 Steven Hazar. That's right, it's like prime
Steven Hazar. Minus and he's not minus.
I, I'm, I don't know, I think he's pretty prime. 15 years ago,
yeah. So Kristen Shanowitz works on
nailing down these 12 men. She gets the the mayor is on
(30:29):
board, the hot cop is on board. We get 2 pairs of rival brothers
who like weirdly do it because the other brother's doing it and
they don't want to be left out staying with the long hair.
Competitive. And so it's like, I can't, my
brother can't, he's showing his body, 'cause, you know, I gotta
show my body type of thing, which is exactly how we got
into. That situation, the situation
(30:50):
where you know what I'm talking about and I get we're both
embarrassed and we're both sorry.
Hey, things happen. Also we.
Don't have a stack of spares in our car at all time?
No, don't ask. Eric, the guy that Jan likes,
he's religious, but he's gonna do the calendar.
Everyone's doing it except for Will.
(31:11):
Will's not. For some reason he doesn't want
to get naked. Naked.
He's like, no, I think this is objectifying men and I don't
want to do it. Wow, hot take.
Yeah, it is. It is a hot take.
But then the men start, you know, not eating carbs, working
(31:31):
out their their girlfriends and wives are like you got to get
ready for the calendar, slappingDonuts out the hand.
I mean it, it's, it's the, the typical like fat jokes of the
era, that's what. We're doing this week for
Bramblefest. I did I.
Have no. Carb.
Did I have my parlor doughnut this morning?
Yeah, I still did. Of course I did 'cause I didn't
(31:52):
know that rule. Yeah.
I mean, she slapped out of your hand.
If you want a doughnut, eat a doughnut.
No, I'm. Gonna eat doughnuts?
The men have locker room talk and like compare bodies and are
like, oh, your body is like whatever it it gets weird.
It gets weird there it. Sounded.
Weird. Yeah, it's yeah.
(32:13):
It's a different type of locker room talk.
It's not like you. Know it's not the locker room
talk talk that we've. That's exactly got it.
Got it. OK, so when I say AB sailing you
say? Let's go.
Am I supposed to know something to say?
You say, what's that? What's that exactly right?
(32:34):
You would think that it's sailing, right?
AB sailing like some type. Of sailing, yes.
No sailing. It's nice.
Some type of mountain climbing, like rappelling down a mountain.
Yeah, you use your abs a lot. It's an AB, say yeah, no, you
and I went AB sailing last. Week.
That's exactly right. Call it Thursday.
What's fun is that some rock climbing and propelling you
(32:57):
don't use. Did you say propelling?
Repelling. Repelling you're.
Not on a boat. Some that's exactly and that's
the problem here. Some of that time you don't use
your ABS. This is particular to the ABS
and everyone. Knows Chenowetz is very confused
she shows up in a little sail outfit she has like, you know
her little Dickie on and the hatand the whole thing and
(33:19):
everyone's like what are you wearing we're rappelling down
this mountain and and then she'slike oh OK well I can just do it
in this. She goes down the mountain.
She's doing really good. She's like the view is
beautiful. I understand why you like
Montana now and then she she gets a fear like over her like
she loses her footing and she can't can't move.
(33:41):
She has like. A panic attack.
She's like freaking out. So will our naked guy who's
wearing clothes now goes down rappels down the the mountain.
For now. For now, wearing clothes and
he's like, you can do this, you're OK.
And she's like, Oh my gosh, thank you so much, you helped
me. And now they're like falling for
each other and. He's just a normal.
(34:02):
Guy falling for each other nailed it.
Normal guy. So Will has a change of heart,
of course, now that he likes Kristen and he's like gonna do
the calendar. But he wants his his like
company. I guess he owns like a sports
store, sports sporting goods store.
He wants that to be the the sponsor.
(34:23):
And Kristen's like, you know what, you're not very nice.
And I don't want to like becausehe's like, I like you, but like
you're so annoying. And I can't believe I actually
like somebody who's as rude and like city and New Yorkie as you.
And she's like, that's not a wayto talk to somebody who you
like. And I don't need your
sponsorship. It was A and a bold way to tell
(34:46):
somebody that you're into them to be like, I here's I actually
like. There's like a ton about you
that I hate. Yeah, it was so rude.
Everything going on wrong with you?
Yeah, after all this time. So we finally get to our photo
montage, which lasts a very longtime, maybe 5 minutes.
(35:07):
On 34th St. in the Moon. Yes, OK, very much.
So we're not upset about it though, are we?
I mean, like it is. Look at that guy next to the
horse. Oh, that is the guy from Cougar
Town. There he is.
You're right. Yes, there is.
Cougar Town next to a horse. Next to a horse, for some reason
we have the mayor in a hot tub. We have a hunk fishing we have a
(35:29):
hunk by a tree. We have a hunk camping we have a
hunk with a dog. We have a hunk chopping down a
tree. Everyone's not naked.
They're they're just shirtless. Just shirtless.
Yeah, at some point they droppedcalendar.
That's exactly right. That's I was confused.
Did I miss something? No, no, they just didn't do the
(35:50):
naked part. When the guy first, when the
first guy walked up for photo shoot and he had pants on, I was
expecting another one of those. All right, drop, drop it.
But they never dropped. It they just another one of
those? All right, drop it.
Yeah, like, like naked guy. Earlier I thought it was gonna
be naked like that, but it's not.
They didn't. They didn't drop it.
(36:11):
They shot it. Look at the camera.
Yeah, yeah. So the the pictures turn out
nice. The pictures turn out nice.
It's. Very nice.
Not what we were expecting. The town, however, does the
thing, which also happens in a Mandy Moore movie.
You might remember A Walk to Remember I.
Remember it? Boy do I there is a part in a
watcher remember where they takeMandy Moores head and they put
(36:34):
it on a naked body and it's so embarrassing for her because
she's a good religious girl and the the the vinegar body do you
maybe the same. I saw it in the theater with my
now wife and I gotta be honest, I remember hating it.
That's the only thing I remember.
About it. They're making fun of her
because she's such a little goody goody, and so they would
(36:54):
Photoshop her face. OK, yeah, if you say so.
So that happens to the mayor here.
The mayor gets his head put on anaked body and everyone laughs
at the bar. They're like ha ha with your I'm
Naked. Yeah, they're so mean.
They I'm like they're raising money for charity, you guys
(37:14):
like. This guy's a grown to.
Support the cause. Mayor of a Montana town.
Why does he care? He'd just be like, that's not me
and move along. No, it's.
Him, he, he was really upset, OK.
And he's like, he's like Landon,I have cancer.
What? What?
I'm quoting a I'm quoting a watcher, remember?
Oh, no, sorry. I.
(37:35):
Thought I thought that I'm sorry, she says.
I'm sorry. And she says she doesn't say I
have kids. I saw we.
Should do a cancer subplot in this movie and I was not
prepared. No, that's the.
That's the watcher. Remember.
Yeah, Watch her remember. Because she has she has a walk,
she remembers. Sick.
Yeah, yeah, she says. I'm sick.
I'm sick. Landish.
I love that movie. Do you really?
Yeah. So good.
(37:56):
So. Good.
It's great. Terrible.
Great Switchfoot. Wow, they're a Christian band.
Who knew? Who knew?
I've seen him live a number of times and like a bunch of times
didn't make that any better. Did Krista Chenowitz get you
tickets? She probably.
Did. Yeah, she probably did.
I mean, early on didn't take much to get Switchfoot tickets.
(38:17):
She took four or five albums before anybody knew it.
I yeah I love that movie. Watched it OK so shit within the
last 12 months. I'll probably watch it again in
the next 12. How does anyone love that movie?
I mean, I know. That movie sucked.
I went. You were.
You were seeing you were 12 now.I didn't watch it when I was 10,
I watched it when I was an adult.
(38:39):
God. Mandy Moore dying with a great
soundtrack. Falling in love.
Sounded like you wanted her to die so it sounded like yeah OK
alright yeah I, I, I feel betterThe the consensus is is.
Not yeah, three to one. Once again you are in the
minority and some it makes you artsy, makes you I've sibus film
boy. I thought I was minor in film
(39:02):
criticism. Lose my mind you 'cause I was
talking to the three of you and it turns out, no, that movie
does in fact suck. Well, there you go.
But you know, in my presentation, in my PowerPoint,
it was a highlight, the highlight of that of that
presentation. OK, so we're, we're back to the
holiday season and Kristen Chenoweth gets the calendars
(39:25):
printed and they look so good. They throw a party.
Everyone has like an easel with their naked picture.
They're taking pictures by theirnaked picture.
And everyone starts slow dancing.
Yeah, as you do, yeah. And everyone couples off.
You know, Kristen, I know it waskind of talking to Steven.
(39:47):
Steven Hazar, yes, but she has committed to Will.
So they're dancing. We realize she's very short.
But it's also a little bit confusing because they were like
kind of a thing, her and Hazar, but then Hazar just kind of like
disappears. And Hazar was naked guy's like
(40:09):
best friend. And now and now they like hate
each other. And at this point in time, we
don't know why that is. She's like, well, that's crazy.
And so she and Hazar are kind ofhaving a thing.
He disappears for a while, starts, you know, obviously
falling for naked guy. And now you're in a bit of a
sticky wicked here. Right.
(40:29):
Yeah, because there's too many men.
You know when you have 12 men you you might fall in love with
more than one. You might fall in love with two.
Two of them, not 12. I would fall in love with all
12. Everyone has their their they
bring something unique to the table.
You know they can't be compared.No, you can't.
(40:50):
So Jen and Anna Chlumsky. Oh God, I'm so bad with you got.
It you nailed it. Answers Kristin Chenoweth's
phone and it's Gucci pump boss. Gucci pump boss is like, I need
Kristen to come back to work. I have a job I have I will
double the salary. I will even not wear my Gucci
(41:13):
pumps anymore and Gucci pump. We can leave the Gucci pumps in
the past. Oh, I'm, I forgot to mention,
Kristen, like totally breaks this woman's shoes in the
bathroom at the beginning and it's hilarious.
That is revenge. That is revenge.
And Speaking of breaking stuff, how about we head to a break?
Wow. See what I did?
(41:33):
I did that on purpose. Yeah, you sure did.
We're right back here. That show prep.
At the homework. So I lift my hands and pray.
Yeah, I've seen Mandy Moore perform that song live.
(41:56):
Yeah, you have. And it was amazing.
She's like, I've never seen thissince the movie.
Here we go. She's sang it for you.
You had to be lying. She wasn't lying.
It was like on the IT was on like BuzzFeed the next day, like
Mandy Moore performs the first time ever this song live.
Wow. And I was like, you were not
(42:17):
your day. And is that the constant you?
Got a ticket coming back from? Oh, probably.
You know, I could take a look. I felt like you drove home to
see Mandy Moore and then when you were driving back you got
pulled over. Maybe in the Corolla going 1000
miles an. Hour.
I'm just saying it was, it was great.
(42:39):
Yeah, I mean, if I heard Mandy Moore sing that song, I'd also
speed. That's exciting.
Yes, yes. So we're we have the yes, we
have praying, but but Kristen Chenoweth needs to be praying
because the phone, the phone lady boss it we get a a
miscommunication that happens with the phone conversation.
(43:01):
So Will overhears the conversation about moving back
to New York. And.
Yeah, they get into an argument and she's like, forget it, I'm
taking that job. I'm going back to New York.
He's really mean. He's mean.
He's like, he's like, I don't even really want you to stay.
He's like unnecessarily mean. There's like, there's like maybe
(43:23):
maybe 25% of this movie where he's not a jerk, maybe.
Tops, right? And I think on Cougar Town, he's
also a jerk. Kind of a jerk on Cougar Town,
but he's. Just good at playing jerk.
I think everybody on Cougar Town's a bit of a jerk.
I, I watched a couple of seasonsof it.
Like I, I feel like that's kind of the vibe, but everyone is
kind of a jerk. I think OK could be wrong.
(43:43):
There you go. Is that Abed's favorite show?
I think so. And then?
He's like, yeah, does a, does a cameo and.
Yeah, 'cause then TBS picked it up.
I think there's a whole thing there all right.
Wow. OK, yeah.
So we're back in New York. Kristen is thinking about.
She just has like flashbacks to all the Montana memories, which
should be a song. Montana memories, it should be.
(44:03):
And she, like, leaves the city in the middle of a presentation
after hearing about an avalanche.
So they have an avalanche. And she's like, oh, my gosh.
Well, he's in trouble. She goes to the hospital.
This is my favorite part of the movie.
This is my favorite part. I'm going to say it right now.
She goes to the hospital. The nurse is in the room, like
(44:25):
pulling the sheets off the bed. And Kristen's like, where is he?
And the nurse is like, he's gone.
And Kristen, Kristen, like, Oh my God, she has a sad moment.
Like genuinely sad. Like sad music behind.
Music. He's gone.
It is a full. It's an arrest.
It is not. Oh, it's good.
(44:47):
It's good. I mean it's.
Like I'm, I'm afraid we lost himand it turns out they they
couldn't. Find him?
Yeah, they can't find him. Right, yes.
Well, then Will shows up on crutches and he's like, why are
you so upset? And then Kristen's like, Oh my
God, you're here. They make out.
Then the same nurse walks by andsees them making out.
(45:08):
She rushes over to the nurse station and rips up Mr.
December, who happens to be Will.
She's like, I guess I'm not going to be sleeping with Mr.
December then and throws it in the trash.
Wow. And and KC decides she's gonna
move to Montana. Yeah.
Because it's just better there. She missed it already.
(45:30):
And. But you know, I think one it's
one of those things where you realize I didn't really.
She goes back to the big city. She's like I.
Didn't like the big city? Because at one point they're
walking down and she's like, herfriend is like, I found this
amazing place for 4.5 million. And then it cuts back to the guy
saying $525 and she's like, oh, man, yeah.
Yeah, a condo. A condo for four million.
(45:53):
Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's?
Your salary in those two places,yeah.
That's true. That's that's true.
So yes, they have a little gathering at their house.
It snows outside, the camera pans out to the through the
window and that whole bit. And that's the movie.
Yeah, that's it. 12 minute Christmas.
That's right. We did it okay, now we either
(46:15):
pour it up or put a cork in it. Pour it up means you are into
it. Put a cork in it means you would
not be into it. And Dan, since you watch this
movie with your imagination, we will see a.
Pretty good. Job.
You guys did a good job. You did a good job today and you
guys were invested in the details.
That always leads me to believe how you're feeling about the
movie. This is tough.
(46:37):
I'm a huge Kristen Chenoweth fan.
I saw her first on The West Wing.
Really loved her in Pushing Daisies.
She's got a great voice. She pops up and other stuff.
She's really funny. She was in Holiday, which we
watched. She's in a bunch of stuff where
she's really funny. She was good in Christmas Love
Story. I think she's really good.
I love Anna Klumsky. She's in this movie dude from
(46:58):
Cougar Town. It seems like a movie that if I
watched I would give a This is better than most but not my
thing Vibe 2. For the sake of this podcast,
I'm gonna pour it up. OK, I'm gonna pour it bran.
Oh, I'm thinking. I'm pouring it all the way up.
I love this movie. It was wacky.
It was wild. It was not what I was expecting.
(47:21):
I was fully when once she says we're gonna do a a Nike calendar
and I realized that's why it wascalled 12 minute Christmas.
I was like, okay, we got something cool going on here.
Casey is the delights. All the hunks are just kind of
like whatever. They don't really matter cuz
Casey is so good. That's what I call her.
(47:42):
But that's me and her. We're friends.
That's what I call her. I call her because I know
Patrick, you have a different kind of relationship.
But yeah, I love this movie. I thought it was super fun,
super weird, and a real 2009 delight for Bran.
Yeah, definitely in 2009 for sure.
So guys, I'm going against the grain.
I'm going to put a cork in it because oh boy, I.
(48:03):
Thought. I thought it wasn't sexy enough.
It wasn't what I remember being so scandalous at the time.
I was like, wow, this movie's really going there back in the
day. And now I'm watching it with my
2024 glasses, not contacts. And yeah, I'm like, this is way
tamer and lamer than I remember it being.
(48:24):
So I think compared like, at thetime, it was like, whoa, this is
so groundbreaking. But now it compared to
everything else that has come out and everything I've seen,
there's definitely sluttier Lifetime Christmas movies.
And you know, I'm here for that.I mean, but Hallmark would still
not do this. They wouldn't have, they
wouldn't have a a shirtless calendar.
(48:46):
So there's that. You're right, they wouldn't and
they wouldn't market it as a NICA calendar 1st.
That's the that's the one part that I will give a big strike
against this. I do think you're right about
it. Like they, the first part of
this movie, you're like, they are gonna do something 'cause
they're talking about how they're going to like cover
their parts with an axe and stuff like that.
And then they just don't do any of that.
It's just. Pain.
(49:06):
They don't. And there's that movie.
What's that movie, that British movie, The Full Monty where they
do that And I'm like, that movieis so good and there's not like
another. Movie where a bunch of old
British people make a calendar. Like, yeah, Calendar Girls.
Calendar Girls. Yeah, that's it.
Right. So like, let's do it.
It's been done before. So that's my, that's my
(49:29):
reasoning. That's my reasoning.
Can you read this review that you have on lifetime on cork
dot? Com Oh I forgot yes so I I do
read the IMDb reviews just to see what people are writing and
this one was really good honestly.
This isn't quotes. Honestly I've watched this one
because I had nothing better to do and I was enjoying my supper
(49:51):
meanwhile. My supper.
How was it good this movie? 12 men of Christmas?
Are you kidding? That's it.
What? They said their they said their
supper was good and the movie was like not that great.
OK, cool. I wonder what they had for
supper? Yeah, what a time do I review
Good. For you, I love supper.
(50:12):
Supper's like my favorite meal. Yeah, I think I'm with you.
I don't know. Lunch.
It's not. I don't eat breakfast.
So it's one of those two. Yeah, I'll have to get back to
you, Patrick. We're so excited to hang out
this weekend at Bramel Fest again.
I want to reiterate my excitement to touch you and
really excited about the game show Palouse.
(50:32):
I think that's going to be a tonof fun and we only have one more
Christmas in July movie that we're doing here on deck to
Lifetime uncourt and it is a we go from straight sexy to a
totally different flavor just bythe title.
Heaven sent maybe a little religious angle from Lifetime,
(50:54):
which I didn't know they did. They they pull it out every now
and then. They they let Jesus take the
wheel every now and. You have to.
You have to was. I can't wait for that.
It's gonna be next week. Very much looking forward to
that. And at some point in the near
future, maybe if you're lucky, everybody, you'll get to hear
(51:14):
the game show Palooza. Maybe no promises.
No promises, best way to do it. Of course, like the
homer.com/fest, you can watch itlive.
Yes, we can play live in the live stream.
Play live in the live stream. We've got all those logistics
figured out. Yeah, we do.
It's gonna be amazing. We're really good at planning.
We are all right, until next time we the 1st to wish you.
A Merry Christmas Think, the Hallmarks of Bravo Jam podcast,
(51:37):
is produced by Aaron Shea. Yes.
For more information on Deck thehomework you can go to
deckthehallmark.com. For more information on the Deck
the Hallmark family, you can go to bramblejamplus.com.
Deck the Hallmark is presented by Philo TV.
For a free trial of Philo, go tophilo.tv/DTH.
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