July 10, 2024 • 51 mins
Happy Christmas in July!
Bran, Dan, Patrick, and Producer Erin break down the Christmas Movie "Classics" available on Lifetime's YouTube channel every week in July. Will we Pour it up or Put a Cork in it?
Lifetime Uncorked and Deck the Hallmark collide on this monthly podcast covering your favorite TV movies! Brandon (Bran) Gray & Daniel (Dan) Thompson join Lifetime Expert Patrick Serrano to break Lifetime's TV Movie lineup for 2024. Follow us on social media for more content @LifetimeUncorked & @HallmarkPodcast
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Hi, I'm Bran and I love lifetimeChristmas movies.
Hi, I'm Patrick Serrano and I like some Lifetime Christmas
movies. I'm Dan and I despise lifetime
Christmas movies and this is thedeck Deck.
The Hallmark. It's this podcast we hope.
(00:22):
You like this Dolly podcast? Wow everybody, Merry Christmas
that it's the the poop from South Park.
(00:42):
Okay. Bring it back, bring it back.
Way back, bringing it way back, that great Christmas episode.
Good. For for those playing at home,
boy oh boy, it is great to be here today recording live and
yeah, that Greenville, SC by the.
Pound to yeah, that Greenville in a week.
Yeah, for Bramble Fest presentedby Visit Greenville SC.
(01:06):
So you will be visiting Greenville SC though, Patrick?
I will be. And you know, I had a story that
I was going to say off air, but now that I know we're sponsored
by Greenville, I don't think I could share that story, so never
mind. They're not.
Wait, listen. We are.
It's just the fest. It's just the fest sponsored.
(01:28):
Yeah, we've still got a week and1/2.
Now not the pod. OK, great.
So you you guys, I was watching like one of these murder shows
that just happened to be in my algorithm all the time.
And there was one that was in Greenville about a bike store,
like a motorcycle store where everyone got shot and killed.
Do you guys know about this? It was like the biggest unsolved
(01:48):
murder in like, South Carolina for years and.
Years. I mean, the only motorcycle
store I know of is Harley-Davidson over by the
Quaker Steak and Lube. Yes, a place that does exist.
Quaker Steak and. Lube.
I'm looking it up now. Right is was it at the
Harley-Davidson by the Quaker Steak and Loop?
No, it was a different one. It was like, I don't know,
Rocket motors or something like that or.
(02:11):
November 6th, 2003 Oh yeah, Super Bike Motorsports in
Chester. There you go.
Oh. Chesney.
Chesney isn't Greenville, that'sThe thing, is Chesney.
They tricked me. That's that's like 4550 minutes
outside of town I. I don't know how, OK, OK, maybe
maybe they were saying like the killer was from Green somehow
Greenville was involved in that case, I don't think.
(02:33):
Greenville was involved in that case.
Visit sc.com. Like being in Boston, visitor
happening in Worcester. Yeah, that's what I learned
today watching a different. That's exactly right.
It's just like that. There you go.
It's just like, OK, well, I was very concerned for you guys.
I was like, oh gosh, that's unsolved murder.
We got a, we gotta, you know, batten down the hatches.
Not Greenville has nothing to dowith it.
So we're good. We're in.
The OK, there we go. We're.
(02:53):
Good. We are in the clear.
We're also we're not quite in the clear yet as far as
Christmas movies go. We're actually writing to think
of it. Dan, I'm the thick of it.
Things are going great, though. We're Christmas in July is it's
it's it's almost like a fever dream because it starts get 4th
of July, Bramble Fest happens and then before you know,
Christmas in July is over. So I'm I'm soaking up every
(03:13):
second of it. Dan, I know you watch.
The Sun. That's what Sheryl Crow told me.
Yeah, that's right, Dan. I was like, are you going to
sing it, Bran? But no, I was waiting on him.
I was waiting on the. I'm going to soak up the sun.
OK, there we go. Lighten up to lighten up, is
(03:37):
that it? I think.
So yeah, is it? Really.
It's really lighten up. I'm going to tell everyone to
lighten up. Yeah, I got my 45 on.
You missed that line. Yeah, which is not a gun, it's
just sunscreen from what I understand.
Yeah, she is not packing. But I always thought it, I
always thought it was a 45 record.
But you're right, sunscreen makes more sense.
Oh my. God, it could be a record.
(03:59):
Dude what if she has a gun on with sunscreen while listening
to a record? Got her gun in hand, polishing
that gun, listening to her vinylspraying sunscreen.
Don't mess with her man. It's the American Dream light.
She's just like lighting up put.That away, Cheryl.
Good guy. I'm like, if you're not wearing
SPF 50, what are you doing? 100% for the fact that she would
(04:21):
only be doing 45 is reckless. I don't put SPF 50 on you.
Just put 5050 yes every day, every day on my face I'm.
A face. You're 50, boy.
I don't. Actually know what mine is, I
just put it on but. There's plenty right?
Am I? Am I wrong here?
Aaron, you seem like you want totry.
Really white and Irish. No, she looked like she wanted
(04:43):
to chime in. I wasn't trying to.
No, that look was I should not have left this open container of
dill pickle goldfish next to me and it was like a how do I get
this away? From Well, the good news is.
SPF 50. So the good news is I can mute
you so you can eat as much as you want to.
Dan's not allowed to eat as muchas it is.
The good news is is Aaron and I have cracked snacks.
(05:04):
Goldfish with a new flavor spot.I have a feeling that.
We heard of this. I've heard of this.
I. Have a feeling that we will have
talked about this yesterday and probably tomorrow.
Brian, it still won't be enough.Patrick interested.
You can. Okay, tell Patrick.
Tell Patrick how. You we discovered spicy dill.
(05:24):
This is what's happening. We've made a mix, Patrick.
So there was a spicy dill pickleflavour.
Langley Clements brought us somein the studio while we were
doing something. We ate, they ate them.
They were wonderful. We had some Frank's Red Hot
Goldfish and what we realized is, is basically a 2 to one to
two spicy dill pickle goldfish for everyone.
(05:46):
Frank's Red Hot Goldfish. You mix them together in a big
giant Tupperware container and it is the best snack in the
universe. And we cracked that.
We cracked it right here at at Bramble Gym podcast.
I'm. Sure, we'll have some of that in
the yeah, that Greenville. Yeah, that Greenville.
We didn't have a bike. Bramble Fest cracked.
Snacks. Though Bramble Fest presented by
Visit Greenville SC dot. Com.
(06:08):
I imagine you'll have some of those in the in the green room.
We'll just be a giant VAT of that in the Green Room at
Bramble Fest, presented by Greenville SC.
Yeah, I mean, there might be AD com at Bramble Fest.
Maybe this is the delish. We'll find a way to tie it in.
Luck of the Irish Luck. Of the Irish Pickles.
Pickles done hot. Fun.
There you go. Oh.
Patrick, before we dive into this movie, as you and everyone
(06:32):
at this point knows, we're doinga live Lifetime game show,
Palooza at Bramblefest. How is the preparation coming on
that? About as well as you'd expect,
you know, So I have no ideas, but, but they'll come to me.
They'll come to. Me now one thing that you have
to play with here, though, is that we're doing teams.
(06:55):
We're doing teams. You could do there's there's a
there you could do Family Feud. You could do a lot of different.
Things you could do, but a lot of things you could do.
One team is going to have AlonzoDoraldi on it and he is better
than the rest of us at these types of games.
True, but but also. These types of games as if the
game show Palooza is a standard type of game well.
(07:16):
It's not is Alonzo wouldn't be much help in the what was that
the Vivica Fox series? Guess you picked the wrong
boyfriend or whatever. He wouldn't help there.
But anything with like stars of the 80s and 90s, he's going to
crush it and we're and and whomever gets him is going to be
in much better shape. Well, there you go.
(07:38):
Yeah, I, I love teams. You know, we'll, we'll do like
team colors or something. That'll be great.
I love team colors. I love that we're doing it live.
I don't. Seem worried at all?
And I. Know you know game.
You know my opinion on games, The rules, the rule book.
Toss it aside. Just get out the pieces and
start playing. I can guarantee you it's gonna
be a mess and I can't wait for it.
(07:59):
It's gonna be a ton of fun. And you can still join us
virtually for that. By the way, deck to
homer.com/fest if you would liketo watch along live in two
weekends and. And you can, you can chat,
right? You can chat.
Chat. You can chat.
That's exactly right. Tickets.
To steal in person's gonna be a blast.
(08:19):
I mean, it can't wait is crap. We're ready to go.
I heard from Elizabeth. We have nothing left to do,
which is unbelievable. And this is it's what is it?
Wednesday. Yes, we've done a week.
Or it is my understanding that Dog the Bounty Hunter is
potentially. Gonna be the virtual chat.
No, yes, yeah, dogs definitely indoors.
In the virtual chat in the. Virtual chatter and I just want
(08:40):
to say I wanna get ahead of thissometimes.
He says things that. Are I am with, I am sure
something has happened that Dog the Bounty Hunter has done or
said something in the past 10 years that I'm not aware of and
I just want to get ahead of that.
I apologize. Patrick, let's talk about
(09:00):
today's poop. Poop.
Yeah, All right, so guys, we're,we're in Christmas time and we
have a lifetime Christmas classic, according to the
people. I did a little research and the,
the comments and like, everything online is like, this
is like officially, not officially 'cause you know,
(09:21):
there's no official lifetime classic list, but but the people
seem to be nostalgic for this one.
It's called a gift wrapped Christmas from 2015.
So it is before all our times covering Christmas movies.
But I do remember it fondly. And I, I believe this might have
been the the catalyst movie thatgot me to think of this idea.
(09:46):
This is the the movie where I was like, I have a lot of funny
comments that I'm just making towhoever was watching and Oh
yeah, I should like write them down or something, you know?
You are funny too, that's the thing about it.
You're funny somewhere. Around sometimes, sometimes.
When do you? Start writing the block.
(10:06):
Like the the next year, the nextseason.
So 20/20/16 season. Have you been doing every movie
since 2013 or whatever year it was?
20/16/2016 I know. Yep, Yep, Yep, Yep.
So we have been. You're 10 years coming up in a
year and a half. Wow.
We gotta have, we gotta do something.
We gotta have some sort of celebration, right?
(10:26):
Right. Yeah, that's when I retire.
Yeah, right. Ten years, I'm like, I'm good.
I've seen them all. And you go back out to the
clubs. It's.
Finally time now you're it's. Time.
What was the thing? Oh gosh.
Once he's over 40, he's a legacy.
What is? He's a a You're divine.
What is it? I don't remember you.
Can't go to the club from you're30 or 40 and then you're
something you're too you too, too cool for school.
(10:48):
What is it He's. I have no idea.
I have no. Idea.
What is it? I don't remember.
Yeah, I I think it was iconic. We'll have to roll the tape.
We'll have to roll the tape back.
Yeah, I think so it. Was like half the time I, I
don't know what came out of my mouth or like, you know, I'll
just be talking to be like what I say.
What's it anyway? Quick.
Question is this gift wrap spelled the normal way or is it
RAPPED and this is a rapping movie?
(11:10):
It's. Not a rap.
Definitely. It's definitely a rap movie.
Just picture everyone in like Missy Elliott black trash bag
inflating. OK, got it.
Easy. That'll help.
That'll help with your imagination.
Since you haven't seen the movie, Dan, that that'll help
you. Yeah.
OK. Locked in the movie stars.
(11:30):
Let's see if you know any of these people.
We have Meredith Hanger is our is our ** leading lady.
She is giving Kelly Pickler whenshe got her haircut.
Oh no, is she doing, is she giving the same performance or
just in how she looks? Definitely not just just the
looks, just the looks. You may know her.
(11:51):
Hanger, You mean Meredith Hagner, right?
Sure, yeah, but she told me thatI could say hanger.
Hanger because. It's 6 1/2 dozen of the other.
We have a mommy dearest joke. No more Meredith hangers, you
know. What do we It's a whole what do
we know her from? She's from She's actually done a
(12:12):
couple Christmas movies on Hallmark and Lifetime, but she
got out of. In search party.
Yes, she she got out of purgatory of TV movie hell and
was on a successful show. I those parties are.
Have you seen it? Oh yeah, I loved, loved that
show. I don't want to show my hands
too early. Yeah, here they are.
(12:34):
Here they are. I also loved her.
I thought she was great. Yeah, she she gets what she
gets. The movie she's in, she
understands. She would be she's.
Really, really, she's really great.
And she only did a couple. She only did a couple.
Our next guy is Travis Millen, Milen Milne.
Milne. Milne yes, he's he's there and.
(12:57):
He's giving me Brandon Ralph. I can see that, yeah.
Yep, Anna Van Hooft. I just like that name.
Love that name. My favorite?
My favorite TV movie actor. Dolores Drake.
Dolores Drake is in the house. You will definitely recognize
(13:18):
her. I heard about her beef with
Kendrick. It's but that's over, right?
Her beef? It's over.
It's over. Yep, she's she's backed off
that. But this is my gateway to her.
This is probably the first Christmas movie I saw her in and
she's in a million. Kendrick Lamar's forming a diss
track on Dolores Strike is more than you would ever the things
(13:40):
he said. About him to go that hard.
You were just like that Is definitely a.
Crowd. Dolores.
Dolores. I think it is.
I think this defamation but. And then finally, finally, the
most notable person who has the least to do in this movie,
Beverly Mitchell from 7th Heaven.
Unbelievable. When I saw that Beverly Mitchell
was the sister and not the lead,I thought obviously a crime had
(14:03):
been committed cause Beverly Mitchell is on 7th Heaven, which
means she automatically qualifies as leading role on
Lifetime. Yeah, that was my.
Understanding. Here's the thing.
Beverly Mitchell, always the sister in these things.
She's never the lead. That's.
Crazy. That's crazy.
She's never the lead it because she I think she's she she had
(14:24):
Jessica Biel to contend with himseven.
You know, how are you going to compete with that?
And then and she's cut up against Meredith Hanger or as I
say, and. Most people say Hagner, but you,
you do you. No contest.
Beverly Mitchell was no contest.And Beverly Mitchell, I don't
know. Something's up.
Something's up. We need to get her on the show.
(14:45):
Have you guys ever talked to? Her means something's up.
Like she doesn't want to be the lead.
OK. All right.
She they offer it and she's like, I'll be the sister.
Interesting. I don't have time for that.
Yeah, we weren't going to have her on the show, but now we
have. Joel is like two weeks of work
is just too much. Yeah, She.
She must have like, a rich husband.
She's like, I like acting, but Idon't want to learn all those
(15:07):
lines. Yeah.
You know, you know, it's not a bad, it's not a bad thing.
Like maybe, maybe she just doesn't want to be away for that
long. You know, sometimes when you
have kids, two weeks is a big commitment.
I would rehearsals. I wouldn't want to be there for
that long, you know? I'm saying she she gets offers
and she must turn them down or must counter offer with a
smaller part. Is it possible we are speaking
(15:29):
too highly of Beverly Mitchell? Yes.
No, no, Beverly Mitchell. What is like so great on 7th
Heaven? She's like the best part.
She's the best part I. Can't say I've ever seen an
episode of 7th Heaven. Oh, what D come she what?
D Come is she she's. In AD, come right on track.
Right on track. That's right, is Erica Enders.
Sorry, what? I've never seen an episode of
(15:52):
7th Heaven. What I would say don't, don't go
back. Don't go back.
What like I mean it's. Not what it it was a it was a
capsule in time, kind of like what's that other one that was
13? Interest in it it always
today's. That you're like the demo you.
That's the demo for the for seven.
(16:13):
Times, unless you grew up in my house with four channels.
I mean, I it just wasn't. I mean, I know that I actually
had that Channel. You had the WB, but you probably
weren't. You weren't allowed to watch
that, probably. When you were 97, I mean when it
was 199796 and we did our old handwriting and we talked about
7th heaven. You were alive the whole time.
(16:34):
I. Want you to be ashamed of me and
so. So here we are.
Yeah. Do you think I'm a?
Do you think? I'm a conflict of go ahead, go
ahead, you go ahead. No, no, I was just gonna say I'm
a conflict mediator. So if we need to hash this out
right now, I'm I'm ready. Did you, do you have the
training address that you're certified?
(16:54):
I'm also CPR certified and sexy certified when?
Do you get that certification? You just apply online.
Interesting. You have to be sexy certified to
call her a hanger instead of Hagner.
I do know that that's true. Right, right.
Yeah. That's why there's nothing we
can do here. It's anchored us.
It's how it's always, it always will be.
(17:16):
Let's get into the movie now that we've been talking for 17
minutes and it it, it should be time for a break.
But I can't even in even in the best of days.
Even in the best of days. Yeah, go to a break without
talking about the movie first. OK, what?
Yes, we gotta get. It's a different show.
It's a different. So the movie starts.
(17:36):
We have Gwen, our protagonist. She is a personal shopper, OK,
And she is in the city. We are back to the city.
We are not in New York. We are in the city.
We're in the city. Do you know anybody who has used
a personal shopper? Not personally no, but I I see
that in a lot of TV movies. It's a There's enough movies
(17:56):
about personal shoppers that I feel like I should have met one
by now. Right.
I mean, no, I've never met one and I've never known anyone to
use one, but I'd. Also never met somebody who was
sexy certified and now I have. So I mean we're just I haven't
met. It doesn't mean it doesn't
exist. But don't forget, this is 2015.
You the the idea of a personal shopper is one for super duper
(18:18):
rich people. And so the way it's portrayed on
TV and then the fact that we've never heard of it, OK, no
surprise, OK. Yeah, right.
Gwen knows everybody in the mall.
She's walking through the mall. She's like, spurting on perfume.
And she's like, I love that, Kathy.
That's such a great smile. And, you know, she's, like,
buying presents for everybody. She gets the best gifts.
We get, like, a little montage of her giving someone gloves,
(18:41):
and they're like, oh, my God, how did you know my hands are so
small? These gloves fit perfect.
You know she like, pays attention to details.
Yeah, she does. You know who doesn't pay
attention to details? Dan.
Josh Milne? Who's Josh Milne?
Is that the lead? Oh, Charlie Baker.
Yeah, yeah, Charlie Baker. Great.
Doesn't pay attention to know hedid it.
He's too busy. He's too busy, Patrick.
(19:02):
He is very busy. He is a downtown office person,
business owner. Sure is.
It's all it's all very nebulous.I.
Mean Travis Milne. Of course I didn't do that.
Thank you, Meredith. Right.
Charlie Baker is. And I, Patrick, you and I both
know what his job is, and we'll say it on the count of 3123.
(19:22):
Business. Mannequin.
I think he's a mannequin. Said business it's.
Fantastic. Yeah.
Gwen is assigned to be his shopper for the holiday season
because he's too busy to possibly buy presents.
She goes to the office in her Dodge Stratus named named Daisy.
(19:45):
It's the her dad's car. Very sentimental.
Oh yeah, Dolores trade. My favorite.
My movie star is the like a receptionist assistant and she's
like, oh, Charlie's in a meeting.
Hold on. And she just has behind her like
a shell full of coffee mugs. Coffee mugs everywhere.
(20:07):
And Gwen's like, what's up with the coffee mugs?
Dolores is like he gives me a mug for literally every occasion
and it's like the worst gift. You can never get some.
And keeps putting them up so. That is true.
That is giving the wrong message.
Giving the wrong vibe there if. You don't want mugs?
Maybe don't put them up every every year, you know.
(20:27):
Right. And anybody who gives mugs as a
gift, I'm so sorry, but you are about to get dragged by this
movie. This movie really hates coffee
mugs. Has a vendetta against coffee
mugs. Have you been upset by a coffee
mug? Never before.
Ever. I always think they're funny and
I mean, I'll probably throw it away, but whatever it's, it's a
(20:47):
good joke. Let's go ahead and take that
coffee mug out of Patrick's. Well, sexy.
Certified coffee mug? Go ahead.
Take it off he doesn't need. You don't, you don't need coffee
mugs is what the I think the reason the gift is like.
You have coffee mugs already? Yes, yeah, I think we get.
A Everyone does, yeah. Yeah, but then he's.
Gonna stop sexy certified on it.Maybe you do, I don't know.
(21:08):
I, I I'm pretty sure I did. So Charlie, he's no fun, right?
He just gives coffee mugs for a gift.
He doesn't want to dress up for the holidays.
He only wears Gray and black suits.
That's it. And Gwen is like, what?
I cannot have this. She drops down to her knees and
she she does and gets like a measuring tape.
Measuring. I know, I know.
(21:31):
I when it came out of my mouth, I it was inappropriate.
But she's measuring for measuring guys.
She's doing the measuring tape. It's lifetime, man, It's
different. Yes, she's like, what?
The big. He's like, whoa, what are you
doing? What are you?
Yeah. She's like I'm there from
Patrick is it's measuring. She's measuring even what this.
(21:54):
Year. Patrick save from.
The the inseam. The inseam.
She's measuring. Come on.
Where? Where's your mind going?
That's. What they're calling it, Yes.
She's going to get a nice suit designed for him and and he's
just like, she's too much like she's she's doing too much
coming in the office. He's like, I don't even know why
(22:16):
we're here. And he's talking about his son
like he needs a gift for his sonand the teacher, like would get
a gift or whatever. The son has to get a gift for
the teacher. And Charlie Gwen's like, well,
why don't you just ask your wife, like what the teacher
likes? Because Charlie has no idea what
to get her, get her a mug. And he's like, my wife is dead.
(22:42):
2015 was better. It was a better time.
Does he go that hard on it? My wife is.
Dead. He just says my wife is dead and
that's the end of the conversation.
We just go to another scene or abreak.
What Gwen's like. OK, noted.
And yeah, we, we go to, we go toanother scene.
She does some online online research.
Patrick, I think we go to a. Break there.
(23:03):
We we got it. We're here.
We go to a break, as will we. We'll be right back here in tech
home. We're back.
Welcome back everybody. Hopefully everyone has their in
seems measured. Yeah, and we.
(23:23):
Can dive back into this movie. We just found out that Charlie's
wife is dead. That's where we are, Dad.
We don't really get more detailsuntil later we learned that Gwen
is living with her sister Beverly Mitchell.
Really. Mitchell is forcing her husband
to be on all types of diets throughout the movie.
This movie loves diets and fat jokes.
(23:45):
So 2015. This movie is insane.
This poor guy. Every scene he's in, there is a
joke about how much he eats, about how.
And he's not even that bit. Like he's not, like, just us
hanging out. Yeah, it's us hanging out.
How? Dare they?
How dare. They Beverly Mitchell has a a
(24:05):
weight standard for her husband.She like has a ABMI chart.
I mean, she's Oh my God, she's going crazy.
She's going crazy, but it's it'sBeverly Mitchell.
You know, I think she. Was bringing 2016 all of these?
Every day. Every day she gets on her knees
and she measures the emcee to see how he's doing.
That's right. Yep, that's how you do it.
(24:27):
That's right. Yes.
We already talked about why Beverly Mitchell is not the star
of this movie and how that's crazy.
She's also very nosy and tries to set Gwen up on dates with
like a psychologist and stuff and and like she wants basically
she wants Gwen to find a man andget out of her house.
Is the whole storyline there? I I can't stress this enough.
(24:50):
At one point her husband drops cookies on the floor and he's
like 3 second rule and she is beside herself like is just.
Why'd you marry him? I.
Don't know. Like that's not new behavior.
Like dude has been doing that all while you were dating.
And it's like the nerve to say that only, only big people abide
(25:12):
by the three second rule. Thoughts.
We all do it right. Dude was it crashing through the
snow where there's four of them?And I was like, there's three
people who look amazing and 11 dude who looks like us.
Right. And we got an e-mail when I said
that that was like, why are you fat shaming?
Yes to me. And I'm like.
Well, this movie. This movie should have be called
wrapped in fat shaming. Yeah, you know, so Charlie and
(25:37):
Gwen continue to have their little shopping.
They have a love hate thing going, which is like the hottest
Christmas romance type because it gets they get hot, they get
angry and there's like tension and we're just waiting for that
like bottle of the burst of the whole movie, right?
So Glenn goes out on a limb. She goes shopping at Charlie's
(25:58):
Taylor, who happens to have all the measurements.
She didn't need to take the measurements.
She didn't even need to get downthere and take those
measurements. No, she didn't.
She is set on a purple pinstripesuit.
It brings out his Hazel eyes. The purple brings out the Hazel.
Huh, interesting. Yeah, I mean behind these Hazel
eyes, you know, right? Does she have her 45 on?
(26:19):
Right. We know it's not the same
singer. Right.
We know. Back off.
Kelly Clark and Sheryl Crow. Different people, so they say.
Charlie also gets shamed for gaining weight, but because the
suit doesn't fit, the suit doesn't fit when he tries it on.
(26:42):
And Gwen is like, somebody must have gained weight.
Somebody must have gained weight.
And he's like, no, I didn't, no,I didn't.
And she is like teasing him, like fatty fat, fat, fat, you
know? She is did.
You say that in the movie. She says fatty fat, fat, fat.
Yes. No, she doesn't, Dan.
She doesn't, but she does. She does say somebody gained
some weight and she somebody hadsome extra cookies.
(27:04):
And later he goes home and he gets on the scale and he's like,
Oh no, this scale must be broken, like, and he's all sad.
And then he turns into Santa Claus.
He starts growing the beard. It's the whole thing.
Right And and I'm like, lol these fat jokes are hilarious in
2015. I think in 2015 they may have
(27:25):
been funny because they were about men, you know?
So they were like, we're flipping it, we're gonna flip
it. And we have to think about the
men. We.
Flipped. It turns out, turns out fat
jokes are mean regardless of thegender.
What? Get out of it.
Yeah, maybe we should just stop comment on that.
(27:45):
So the gift giving that Gwen is doing, all the gifts, it starts
to pay off for Charlie, right? His clients, his clients are
like, whoa, that was a really thoughtful gift you gave us.
How did you even know? He lands like the biggest client
from some gift backed basket Gwen gives him.
The wife loves the chocolate macaroons or whatever.
(28:07):
Gwen also decorates the office much so Charlie's dismay.
But his son who speaks in marblemouth garble the whole movie.
Adorable child, adorable child. But he speaks in that child that
only the parents can understand what what they're saying.
You know that age when you're that age.
(28:28):
I do know that age. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's cute, though. Cute.
Kid and he, he comes into the office and he's like wow.
And. They're like it's a reverse
Charlie Brown. Yeah, yeah, it is.
It's just the apparently he liked it.
Apparently he liked the decorations.
(28:49):
Big fan and he's a big fan of ofGwen because anytime Gwen's
around he lights up and they start like they hang out
together one day because he's too busy.
Like it was supposed to be. It was supposed to be take your
kid to work day and he ditches his kid like immediately.
Oh yeah. Classic Charlie.
Classic. Another classic 2050.
(29:10):
He's very into work. He's very into work.
He's very into work. They don't like the thing about
they don't like paint Charlie tobe like this bad, like awful
person, but it's just like it. I, I think part of it in like
2015, it was like this was like,Oh yeah, the guy, the dad, you
know, dads aren't involved and it's. 2015.
(29:30):
Yes, 2015 I don't know it it it wasn't like they were when they
actively try to make a characterawful now like this was just
like it was pass. It was passive passive dadding.
Yeah, he's just kind of aloof toparenting.
Like my wife died and now I havethis kid.
Yeah, my wife is dead, but don'tworry, there's a potential wife
(29:53):
replacement. We have our bitchy brown brown
haired woman or also known as a brunette because.
What you said was bitchy brown brown headed woman and that's
something totally different. Yes, but this is an archetype in
these movies. This is probably where where it
really solidified, I think, 'cause this woman, her name's
(30:15):
Victoria, she starts off the movie on the phone, stealing a
cab from a young family that's shopping.
And the kids literally like, stick their tongues out at her
and are like, you're the worst. OK.
She has her hair hair pulled back.
The whole movie does not let those tendrils fall.
She's brown headed girl. I don't know what to tell you.
(30:38):
She thinks Gwen is classless, she thinks Gwen is a Dum Dum,
and she thinks kids love Wagyu beef burgers with wasabi cotton
candy foam. I do, I do just want to point
this. Let me tell you kids may not,
but I'm here for it. Can I just so I want to AM.
(31:01):
I now pulling for whomever. What's her name again?
Victoria. Victoria, of course.
So Victoria. Victoria convinces Charlie to go
with her to this fancy restaurant.
The boy comes along and doesn't want to touch the burger and
they leave without eating at all.
He tries the burger, but it's wasabi, so he's like, yeah.
(31:25):
It's really spicy, regular burger, he says.
It's spicy. Well, he he actually says.
You had the captions on. Yeah.
Another Star Wars. Movie it It was too spicy.
It's spicy. Your kids like spicy stuff at
all? Gav more than Chris?
(31:48):
Oh yeah. My kids love it.
They take Frank's red hot sauce and just create a pool on the
side of their plate to dip stuffin.
Yeah. That's great.
I love that. Look at you right.
It's a fun time. So go ahead, sorry.
Since they can't eat at this fancy restaurant, they leave
Victoria and Charlie and Owen goto Gwen slash Beverly Mitchell's
house for actual burgers. They eat normal like just like
(32:12):
sesame seed bun and a lettuce and whatever The thing is and
when and was that the. Mac song that you were.
Doing I was trying, I was tryingto do it but.
Bun and lettuce, whatever The thing is.
But yeah, I I realized I. Sesame seed, bun, lettuce,
whatever The thing is. Exactly.
(32:35):
You got it though, from sesame seed bun.
But yeah, Charlie and Gwen get to talking and she talks about
her dad who passed away and thenhe he's dead.
She gets cold so he gives her her jacket.
We love that. And he like, intentionally
ignores a phone call from Victoria.
So we know it's getting serious it.
(32:57):
Is getting serious. It is getting serious.
And they make little snowmen marshmallow things to like, you
know, roast marshmallows. But it's like a big, a big
marshmallow, a medium and a small, and I thought that was
adorable and we should bring that back.
It's adorable, but it's not practical.
You need three different size ofmarshmallows in your house at
all times to make that house possible.
Yeah, that's a lot of marshmallows that my kid would
(33:18):
just eat a bag of when I wasn't looking.
Seemed fun. It seemed fun it.
Does seem fun, you are right about that.
I don't have kids so. There you can handle that type
of responsibility. My kid would be in the pantry if
he knew that was in the pantry. He would be in the pantry as
soon as I was out of sight and you have 1/2 bag down before I
got back in the. Room.
I love marshmallow. Wow, wow.
Yeah, we, we got a shopping montage because of course we
(33:40):
have to have a shopping montage.She's Gwen.
Gwen uses a nose trimmer on herself and she's like, oh God,
a nose trimmer. She tries to wrap a yoga ball
like she's like, how do I do this with paper?
And then she just ends up like bouncing around and like rolling
around on it. Very silly.
Very silly. Like a public.
Domain Christmas boy or. What a terrible, yeah, public
(34:02):
domain Christmas song. Yeah.
It was, but she eventually gets everything wrapped and Charlie's
like, why don't you come to the Christmas work party?
And she's like, I don't know. I'm not, I don't work here.
And Dolores Drake is like, well,you are employed by Charlie, so
technically you are his employee, so you could come.
(34:23):
And this is all great. Before they go, Gwen puts little
pine tree cufflinks in his shirt, Charlie's shirt to give
him a more festive look. OK.
I mean, if that doesn't turn, ifthat doesn't make people like
you, I don't know. Oh well, it's the cufflinks.
Everybody knows. First thing someone notices
(34:44):
about you is how festive your cufflinks are.
Duh. Yes, So he goes and mingles and
Dolores Drake is like, hey, first of all, love the present.
You got me from my back, a back brace because my back, my back's
been bothering me from the chair.
And she has like a special bracefor her chair now.
So it's great. And she's like, I'm not a fan of
Victoria because she seems more like a business partner to
(35:06):
Charlie, you know, kind of giving Gwen like the go ahead,
like, you should make a move. And this is when we play our
game. We have a a fun game.
Guess the the holiday song. They play a piano version of the
song, and people are guessing, right?
Yeah. We love this.
And it when you when you guess right, you have to sing.
So of course Victoria guesses correctly and refuses to sing.
(35:28):
Don't make me sing. Don't, don't make me sing, Yes.
But she's really like, don't make me sing or I'll like, sue
everyone in this office, Yeah. The way that she like reacted, I
thought she was cheating somehow.
Like that's how against singing she was.
Then she got it right. It was like up on the housetop
and they're like, you have to sing it.
(35:49):
And she's like, no, I'm not gonna.
It was like someone Shazam the song and was like, I didn't, I
didn't cheat. I didn't look, I don't know.
It was a very weird reaction, but she did not want to sing.
Yes, but Gwen and Charlie are tasked to sing 'cause they
answer at the same time and they're like jinx.
And then they're like, Oh my God, we have to sing together.
(36:10):
And I brought a clip of them singing so you could hear the
lovely sounds. At this moment, Gwen is chugging
her wine, which I loved 'cause she's like, I gotta gotta get
ready. And then here they go.
Here they go. Oh my.
Gosh. Charlie's like, should I sing
along with you all? Right.
Maybe I should start singing along with you.
(36:33):
There he is. There he is.
Wow. It's.
Very moving. Yes.
And her performance? Her.
Yeah, No, her performance is very like a middle school chorus
teacher, you know what I mean? It's better than when Kelly
Pickler sang it in Graceland. So.
(36:54):
Totally. And in I believe another movie.
She loves Silent night. She loves Silent night.
They do a nice little listen forspur of the moment, not knowing
that you have to do a duet. It's not bad.
All right, not not bad. You know, Gwen carries the whole
performance really, because Charlie's just kind of like half
(37:14):
singing, but she gets upset because.
She's I'm coming. Victoria is being a hater and
and just talks trash about Gwen.So she runs away and goes in her
car and starts crying. The car won't start.
So Victoria and Charlie see her outside.
(37:35):
They're like do you need help? And Victoria's like well this
jalopy of a car and she like smacks it and then it starts up
and Gwen gets the heck out of there.
But Victoria is trying to get Charlie to propose to her and
she's like, hey, so remember howyou were like going to buy a
ring and blah, blah, blah. And before she can like really
(37:56):
get into it, the the pine scent from the cufflinks makes her
sneeze. She starts having allergies from
from nature and she's like, I got to get away from you.
You're like making me sneeze. So he sends her in a cab home.
So now we know brunettes with allergies will never find love.
Yeah, no chance. That is the moral of this story,
(38:18):
yeah. For sure, yeah.
Yeah, decorating montage happens.
More psycho sounding Christmas music here.
I didn't record it, but it was bad.
Very bad. That's a fun.
Little That's a fun little tag there, Patrick.
What? What were you?
Were you born out there? What were you?
(38:39):
Doing. I don't know.
I was being like that, that jokewhere you're like, I am the
Window Viper. You know I don't.
I don't know the I don't know the, I don't know the set up.
All I know is the punchline. I am the window Viper.
He's the window wiper. You.
Say Vendo and then Wiper. Like, well, he said, he said
(39:00):
Window Viper. I am the Window Viper.
It's a joke. Look it up.
Window wiper? That wouldn't make any sense.
Hey, Dan, we're going to take a break.
While we're taking a break, you look up the joke.
Again, we'll get on the. Other side of the break here at
(39:22):
Welcome back everybody. We're talking about the movie.
I remember the title of Dan. You got the Vinda Viper.
Yeah, this is according to Reddit, so stay, just stick with
me. A woman sitting at home watching
the TV. Her phone rings and she answers.
She hears a strange man's voice.I'm the Viper.
I'm coming next month. She hangs up, thinking it was a
(39:42):
prank and forgets about it. A few weeks goes by and she gets
another call. I'm the Viper.
I'll be there tomorrow. Now she's worried.
She calls the police and tells them the next day there's a
squad car across the street. Her phone rings.
I'm the Viper. I'm coming for you.
She runs across the street, tells the waiting officers.
(40:02):
They tell her to keep calm and go back inside. 15 minutes
later, there's a knock at the door.
She opens. There's an old guy waiting
outside with a bucket and a squeegee.
I'm the Viper. I've come to vipe the windows.
There you go. Oh my gosh.
That was stuck in my brain from who knows when they say.
Christmas in July doesn't bring out the best of us.
(40:25):
I say otherwise. Oh my gosh.
We've got our 45 on. I'm going to tell you that right
now. Yes, OK, sorry about that.
So Victoria leaves town. She leaves Gwen and Charlie and
Owen. Time to bond.
They play football randomly. What was the football about?
That was weird. That was that was weird.
(40:47):
He's a good dad. OK, OK, Charlie asked Gwen.
He's like, you're so good at giving gifts for everyone else,
what do you want for Christmas? And she simply says no.
They almost kiss. But what about Victoria?
Gwen says. She's like, you're going to,
like, be married to her where you're going to get engaged.
(41:07):
And he's like, oh, I don't know about that.
But Victoria comes back, and she's like, me to Gwen again.
She tells her to like, she's like, all right, can you go out
and shop for rings for me? Because I'm about to get
engaged, and here's what I like.And Gwen's like, you're not my
boss, so don't tell me what to do.
But also, she's like, oh, no, Charlie's gonna propose to
(41:28):
Victoria. You know, she's very upset.
She doesn't know whether to believe, whether to believe her
or not, You know, 'cause she, she's like, hey, he's getting
ready to propose, which would make you think like, oh, they've
talked about it. So stuff.
Yeah, and Victoria is like readyto, to, to go in all in on this
family. She buys a, a, a plane tickets
(41:49):
to the beach. She's going to take them on a
Christmas resort. And they're like, we don't want
to go to the beach at Christmas.Like, what are you talking
about? And you should have talked to us
about this before. And Charlie takes her out to
dinner and he's like, you know what, Like he or he says, what,
what's my eye color? And she's like, I don't know,
brown. Like, what are you talking
(42:10):
about? Where's my ring?
And he's like, my eyes are Hazelor green.
I think you might say green. And he's like, we're done.
It's over. And it, it is like the most
distinct breakup. I loved it.
I was like, great. And I will just say this is a
it's a bold move, though, because we know your rules on
(42:30):
breakups around the holidays. We know.
We know how you feel about them.Right, you gotta wait.
You gotta wait. You gotta wait until the news.
Yeah, and Victoria's like we canwork it out.
We can work it out, doing cool work it out.
Who you over? There Canadian I'm.
The full Canadian. Meanwhile, Gwen is finishing up
(42:52):
her final shopping items. She sees that engagement ring
and gets the wrong idea. She storms out hysterical,
crying but not really but it would be funny, and she ends up
eating a bunch of Christmas cookies and looking sad for a
while. That's right, her mom.
Her mom pops up. I I was like, what is the mom
doing? I'm surprised that there were
any cookies left over with the with the I know with the
(43:15):
brother-in-law around. Any other broken like any breaks
in the cookies? Yeah, or anywhere?
No, no. Great.
We already. Took two we.
Already took two, yeah. Wow, I.
Know, could have sworn we'd onlytaken 120.
Cool, awesome. Great.
You were looking up this? Broken Patrick.
You were looking up the joke during the last break, so you
(43:36):
missed it. Didn't feel like a break.
He was on task. He was on, he was doing a job,
everybody. All pristine, no break.
No breaks here. No.
So yes, basically what happens is Charlie doesn't have Gwen
come back to work the next day and he's like, what the heck?
So he leaves town, he goes to a cabin with the son he brings, or
(43:58):
he doesn't bring a toboggan, which is what what the kid
really wanted. How they understood that, I have
no idea. Toboggan's a hard word to say,
even for an adult so. And it could mean sledding, so
you know. Yeah, it could mean sledding, it
could. It could mean hat, right?
We don't know cabin we all he went Dolores sled.
(44:22):
In case you were wondering, he the kid did not ask for a hat.
He. Didn't ask for a.
Hat he would like a he would like a sled.
Dolores Drake realizes the sled is left behind him, tells Gwen
like hey, you should take this up to the cabin.
I think it's all been a misunderstanding.
Gwen gets her old jalopy car, puts the sled in the back, sings
really off key driving to the cabin.
(44:43):
For some reason I was like why is she all of a sudden bad at
singing? Really made me mad.
And the car breaks down. Of course she has to carry the
sled in her stiletto boots to the bus station.
Take the bus station. You know, Cookie, for what I
loved about this bus station is it's just a little like a bench.
It's a bench. It, it is a like a little little
(45:04):
tiny house. A little tiny.
I don't know. This guy's sitting there and
he's like where you wanna go? And she's like, I wanna go here.
And I guess that's how it works on the side of the road.
There's just a bus station on the side of the road and you you
can get there. Yeah, and, and she does, she
takes the three hour bus drive or whatever it is and Charlie's
like, what are you doing here? And she's like, oh, I just had
(45:25):
to make your son's wish come true.
And he has a gift for Gwen. He has a snow globe.
The the coffee mugs of Christmas.
Everyone just gives snow globes out all the time at Christmas.
Means nothing, but she loves it 'cause it has.
Christmas. I love it.
It has snow in it, of course. So so she gets her snow.
(45:46):
Then it really starts snowing outside and they like, realize
their feelings for each other. They kiss and then the little
kid interrupts but he's adorableand he's in Ugg boots, so 2015
and they look outside, it's snowing.
And that's the end of the movie.There it is.
(46:07):
We did it. We did it.
We did do it, everybody. Our second Lifetime Christmas in
July movie, Patrick. What do we?
What do we do now, Bud? Yeah, so now we are going to
decide if we are into it or not.Into it.
Poured up. If we are into it, put a cork in
it. If we are not into it, dance.
Since you haven't seen the movieand you used your imagination
because everyone was in trash bags the whole time, what did
(46:29):
you think of the movie? The trash bags Missy Elliott
thing helped a lot. I would say this sounds like a
movie and I met you the title Wrong. 12 gifts of Christmas, 12
presents of Christmas. It's Katrina Law and the dude
from the The maid made together made for each other.
Movie Katrina Law did another Christmas.
Movie I know she's done two, I think 3 Max.
She that movie. I'm a as, as you all know, big
(46:53):
Katrina Law fan. That movie I only thought was
OK. This sounds like a worst version
of that movie. So for me it sounds pretty
generic. I'm going to put a quark in it.
OK. That's sorry, not sorry, Bran.
Look. Bran, what are you thinking?
I loved it. I thought it was a blast.
(47:15):
You know, 2015, it's a sweet time.
I always feel when I go back to 2015, lots of times I'm like,
this is nice. I don't need it all the time,
but it was nice and this movie was nice.
And yeah, like how you feel whenyou blast your Kanye West.
That's exactly right. So I'm pouring.
Time and place, yeah. I'm pouring it up and I'm also
(47:38):
pouring it up for the vendor Viper joke so it's a double pour
up. That was almost worth it there.
Yeah. Well, thank you for that.
Yeah, I think you guys are right.
So if you look at this movie on at face value, it is nothing
special. It is very run-of-the-mill TV
movie. What makes it special I think is
the time and place that it was existing in.
(47:58):
It was right at the the precipice of this whole kind of
boom of Christmas movies that wehave all experienced.
And it really kind of shows likewhat's the little special like
the ingredient like chemistry that cannot be described that
makes these movies so rewatchable Because this I've
(48:21):
seen this one like many times and it's definitely one you
could have on and just kind of have watch and have like an
enjoyable time. So I would pour it up as well.
So. This it came out the same year
as 12 gifts of Christmas on home, so they were dueling.
Dueling it out. Secret shopper movies.
Yeah. Right.
How about that makes sense? On on lifetime on court Patrick,
(48:43):
you also said lol bring back thefat jokes.
So. He didn't.
Say everybody. No, I didn't.
I will say this movie was just listed on YouTube the past year
and it already has a million views on YouTube so.
And the comments are all like I watch this movie every.
Year just paid somebody $10. It's unbelievable.
(49:06):
They got they got some good money off of this one.
But I'm saying I, I think a lot of people have seen this movie
over the years and it, it's, it's basically like what's it
called? It's a Wonderful Life of
Christmas movies for a lifetime.Wow, this is it's a oh, OK, and
and how much it's revered. For life, for lifetime specific.
Subplot were George Bailey on a secret shopper.
(49:28):
Well, and Lifetime doesn't have many.
Yes, Lifetime doesn't have many Christmas classics, so let's
give them this one I'd. Say next week I think we are
getting another real classic with 12 Men of Christmas 2009.
If you thought If you thought 2015 was irreverent.
(49:53):
Get ready, Get ready, my fellow certified sexy Kristen
Chenoweth. That's right.
That's right, Chenoweth. Yeah, Chenoweth.
Got it. Well, certified, sexy.
I get to say it how I want. That's right.
That's. True.
That's that comes with the certifications.
Yeah, she calls me Patrick. Patrick Sirido.
On the back of the the certificate it says you can say
(50:14):
names however you want to. That's right, I'm dying for one
of these certificates. What do we gotta do around here
to be certified sex? I'm dying.
For years. We will be back next week with
another Lifetime movie. And of course, we, Dan, you and
I will be back tomorrow for another ABC Family movie.
So jealous mistletoes. Oh my God, guys, real.
(50:35):
Quick hot take on mistletoes. Tori Spelling, the good Maori
sister. What could what could go wrong?
Nothing. This movie is perfect.
There is a literal musical musical in the middle of the
movie and it and it should be onBroadway.
It should be on Broadway. It also sits right in the middle
of the run of Glee on televisionfrom no coincidence whatsoever.
(50:59):
Right. Yeah.
At that time, so. Totally Glee inspired Glee rip
off and I loved it. Loved it.
Well, we'll talk. We'll share our hot takes
tomorrow. Until then, maybe we're the
first. Wish you a merry.
Christmas the Brabble Jam podcast is produced by Aaron
Shea. For more information on Deck the
Homework you can go to deckthehallmark.com.
(51:20):
For more information on the Deckthe Hallmark family, you can go
to bramblejamplus.com. Deck the Hallmark is presented
by Philo TV. For a free trial of Philo, go to
philo.tv/DTH.
Hi, I'm Bran and I love lifetimeChristmas movies.
Hi, I'm Patrick Serrano and I like some Lifetime Christmas
movies. I'm Dan and I despise lifetime
Christmas movies and this is thedeck Deck.
The Hallmark. It's this podcast we hope.
(00:22):
You like this Dolly podcast? Wow everybody, Merry Christmas
that it's the the poop from South Park.
(00:42):
Okay. Bring it back, bring it back.
Way back, bringing it way back, that great Christmas episode.
Good. For for those playing at home,
boy oh boy, it is great to be here today recording live and
yeah, that Greenville, SC by the.
Pound to yeah, that Greenville in a week.
Yeah, for Bramble Fest presentedby Visit Greenville SC.
(01:06):
So you will be visiting Greenville SC though, Patrick?
I will be. And you know, I had a story that
I was going to say off air, but now that I know we're sponsored
by Greenville, I don't think I could share that story, so never
mind. They're not.
Wait, listen. We are.
It's just the fest. It's just the fest sponsored.
(01:28):
Yeah, we've still got a week and1/2.
Now not the pod. OK, great.
So you you guys, I was watching like one of these murder shows
that just happened to be in my algorithm all the time.
And there was one that was in Greenville about a bike store,
like a motorcycle store where everyone got shot and killed.
Do you guys know about this? It was like the biggest unsolved
(01:48):
murder in like, South Carolina for years and.
Years. I mean, the only motorcycle
store I know of is Harley-Davidson over by the
Quaker Steak and Lube. Yes, a place that does exist.
Quaker Steak and. Lube.
I'm looking it up now. Right is was it at the
Harley-Davidson by the Quaker Steak and Loop?
No, it was a different one. It was like, I don't know,
Rocket motors or something like that or.
(02:11):
November 6th, 2003 Oh yeah, Super Bike Motorsports in
Chester. There you go.
Oh. Chesney.
Chesney isn't Greenville, that'sThe thing, is Chesney.
They tricked me. That's that's like 4550 minutes
outside of town I. I don't know how, OK, OK, maybe
maybe they were saying like the killer was from Green somehow
Greenville was involved in that case, I don't think.
(02:33):
Greenville was involved in that case.
Visit sc.com. Like being in Boston, visitor
happening in Worcester. Yeah, that's what I learned
today watching a different. That's exactly right.
It's just like that. There you go.
It's just like, OK, well, I was very concerned for you guys.
I was like, oh gosh, that's unsolved murder.
We got a, we gotta, you know, batten down the hatches.
Not Greenville has nothing to dowith it.
So we're good. We're in.
The OK, there we go. We're.
(02:53):
Good. We are in the clear.
We're also we're not quite in the clear yet as far as
Christmas movies go. We're actually writing to think
of it. Dan, I'm the thick of it.
Things are going great, though. We're Christmas in July is it's
it's it's almost like a fever dream because it starts get 4th
of July, Bramble Fest happens and then before you know,
Christmas in July is over. So I'm I'm soaking up every
(03:13):
second of it. Dan, I know you watch.
The Sun. That's what Sheryl Crow told me.
Yeah, that's right, Dan. I was like, are you going to
sing it, Bran? But no, I was waiting on him.
I was waiting on the. I'm going to soak up the sun.
OK, there we go. Lighten up to lighten up, is
(03:37):
that it? I think.
So yeah, is it? Really.
It's really lighten up. I'm going to tell everyone to
lighten up. Yeah, I got my 45 on.
You missed that line. Yeah, which is not a gun, it's
just sunscreen from what I understand.
Yeah, she is not packing. But I always thought it, I
always thought it was a 45 record.
But you're right, sunscreen makes more sense.
Oh my. God, it could be a record.
(03:59):
Dude what if she has a gun on with sunscreen while listening
to a record? Got her gun in hand, polishing
that gun, listening to her vinylspraying sunscreen.
Don't mess with her man. It's the American Dream light.
She's just like lighting up put.That away, Cheryl.
Good guy. I'm like, if you're not wearing
SPF 50, what are you doing? 100% for the fact that she would
(04:21):
only be doing 45 is reckless. I don't put SPF 50 on you.
Just put 5050 yes every day, every day on my face I'm.
A face. You're 50, boy.
I don't. Actually know what mine is, I
just put it on but. There's plenty right?
Am I? Am I wrong here?
Aaron, you seem like you want totry.
Really white and Irish. No, she looked like she wanted
(04:43):
to chime in. I wasn't trying to.
No, that look was I should not have left this open container of
dill pickle goldfish next to me and it was like a how do I get
this away? From Well, the good news is.
SPF 50. So the good news is I can mute
you so you can eat as much as you want to.
Dan's not allowed to eat as muchas it is.
The good news is is Aaron and I have cracked snacks.
(05:04):
Goldfish with a new flavor spot.I have a feeling that.
We heard of this. I've heard of this.
I. Have a feeling that we will have
talked about this yesterday and probably tomorrow.
Brian, it still won't be enough.Patrick interested.
You can. Okay, tell Patrick.
Tell Patrick how. You we discovered spicy dill.
(05:24):
This is what's happening. We've made a mix, Patrick.
So there was a spicy dill pickleflavour.
Langley Clements brought us somein the studio while we were
doing something. We ate, they ate them.
They were wonderful. We had some Frank's Red Hot
Goldfish and what we realized is, is basically a 2 to one to
two spicy dill pickle goldfish for everyone.
(05:46):
Frank's Red Hot Goldfish. You mix them together in a big
giant Tupperware container and it is the best snack in the
universe. And we cracked that.
We cracked it right here at at Bramble Gym podcast.
I'm. Sure, we'll have some of that in
the yeah, that Greenville. Yeah, that Greenville.
We didn't have a bike. Bramble Fest cracked.
Snacks. Though Bramble Fest presented by
Visit Greenville SC dot. Com.
(06:08):
I imagine you'll have some of those in the in the green room.
We'll just be a giant VAT of that in the Green Room at
Bramble Fest, presented by Greenville SC.
Yeah, I mean, there might be AD com at Bramble Fest.
Maybe this is the delish. We'll find a way to tie it in.
Luck of the Irish Luck. Of the Irish Pickles.
Pickles done hot. Fun.
There you go. Oh.
Patrick, before we dive into this movie, as you and everyone
(06:32):
at this point knows, we're doinga live Lifetime game show,
Palooza at Bramblefest. How is the preparation coming on
that? About as well as you'd expect,
you know, So I have no ideas, but, but they'll come to me.
They'll come to. Me now one thing that you have
to play with here, though, is that we're doing teams.
(06:55):
We're doing teams. You could do there's there's a
there you could do Family Feud. You could do a lot of different.
Things you could do, but a lot of things you could do.
One team is going to have AlonzoDoraldi on it and he is better
than the rest of us at these types of games.
True, but but also. These types of games as if the
game show Palooza is a standard type of game well.
(07:16):
It's not is Alonzo wouldn't be much help in the what was that
the Vivica Fox series? Guess you picked the wrong
boyfriend or whatever. He wouldn't help there.
But anything with like stars of the 80s and 90s, he's going to
crush it and we're and and whomever gets him is going to be
in much better shape. Well, there you go.
(07:38):
Yeah, I, I love teams. You know, we'll, we'll do like
team colors or something. That'll be great.
I love team colors. I love that we're doing it live.
I don't. Seem worried at all?
And I. Know you know game.
You know my opinion on games, The rules, the rule book.
Toss it aside. Just get out the pieces and
start playing. I can guarantee you it's gonna
be a mess and I can't wait for it.
(07:59):
It's gonna be a ton of fun. And you can still join us
virtually for that. By the way, deck to
homer.com/fest if you would liketo watch along live in two
weekends and. And you can, you can chat,
right? You can chat.
Chat. You can chat.
That's exactly right. Tickets.
To steal in person's gonna be a blast.
(08:19):
I mean, it can't wait is crap. We're ready to go.
I heard from Elizabeth. We have nothing left to do,
which is unbelievable. And this is it's what is it?
Wednesday. Yes, we've done a week.
Or it is my understanding that Dog the Bounty Hunter is
potentially. Gonna be the virtual chat.
No, yes, yeah, dogs definitely indoors.
In the virtual chat in the. Virtual chatter and I just want
(08:40):
to say I wanna get ahead of thissometimes.
He says things that. Are I am with, I am sure
something has happened that Dog the Bounty Hunter has done or
said something in the past 10 years that I'm not aware of and
I just want to get ahead of that.
I apologize. Patrick, let's talk about
(09:00):
today's poop. Poop.
Yeah, All right, so guys, we're,we're in Christmas time and we
have a lifetime Christmas classic, according to the
people. I did a little research and the,
the comments and like, everything online is like, this
is like officially, not officially 'cause you know,
(09:21):
there's no official lifetime classic list, but but the people
seem to be nostalgic for this one.
It's called a gift wrapped Christmas from 2015.
So it is before all our times covering Christmas movies.
But I do remember it fondly. And I, I believe this might have
been the the catalyst movie thatgot me to think of this idea.
(09:46):
This is the the movie where I was like, I have a lot of funny
comments that I'm just making towhoever was watching and Oh
yeah, I should like write them down or something, you know?
You are funny too, that's the thing about it.
You're funny somewhere. Around sometimes, sometimes.
When do you? Start writing the block.
(10:06):
Like the the next year, the nextseason.
So 20/20/16 season. Have you been doing every movie
since 2013 or whatever year it was?
20/16/2016 I know. Yep, Yep, Yep, Yep.
So we have been. You're 10 years coming up in a
year and a half. Wow.
We gotta have, we gotta do something.
We gotta have some sort of celebration, right?
(10:26):
Right. Yeah, that's when I retire.
Yeah, right. Ten years, I'm like, I'm good.
I've seen them all. And you go back out to the
clubs. It's.
Finally time now you're it's. Time.
What was the thing? Oh gosh.
Once he's over 40, he's a legacy.
What is? He's a a You're divine.
What is it? I don't remember you.
Can't go to the club from you're30 or 40 and then you're
something you're too you too, too cool for school.
(10:48):
What is it He's. I have no idea.
I have no. Idea.
What is it? I don't remember.
Yeah, I I think it was iconic. We'll have to roll the tape.
We'll have to roll the tape back.
Yeah, I think so it. Was like half the time I, I
don't know what came out of my mouth or like, you know, I'll
just be talking to be like what I say.
What's it anyway? Quick.
Question is this gift wrap spelled the normal way or is it
RAPPED and this is a rapping movie?
(11:10):
It's. Not a rap.
Definitely. It's definitely a rap movie.
Just picture everyone in like Missy Elliott black trash bag
inflating. OK, got it.
Easy. That'll help.
That'll help with your imagination.
Since you haven't seen the movie, Dan, that that'll help
you. Yeah.
OK. Locked in the movie stars.
(11:30):
Let's see if you know any of these people.
We have Meredith Hanger is our is our ** leading lady.
She is giving Kelly Pickler whenshe got her haircut.
Oh no, is she doing, is she giving the same performance or
just in how she looks? Definitely not just just the
looks, just the looks. You may know her.
(11:51):
Hanger, You mean Meredith Hagner, right?
Sure, yeah, but she told me thatI could say hanger.
Hanger because. It's 6 1/2 dozen of the other.
We have a mommy dearest joke. No more Meredith hangers, you
know. What do we It's a whole what do
we know her from? She's from She's actually done a
(12:12):
couple Christmas movies on Hallmark and Lifetime, but she
got out of. In search party.
Yes, she she got out of purgatory of TV movie hell and
was on a successful show. I those parties are.
Have you seen it? Oh yeah, I loved, loved that
show. I don't want to show my hands
too early. Yeah, here they are.
(12:34):
Here they are. I also loved her.
I thought she was great. Yeah, she she gets what she
gets. The movie she's in, she
understands. She would be she's.
Really, really, she's really great.
And she only did a couple. She only did a couple.
Our next guy is Travis Millen, Milen Milne.
Milne. Milne yes, he's he's there and.
(12:57):
He's giving me Brandon Ralph. I can see that, yeah.
Yep, Anna Van Hooft. I just like that name.
Love that name. My favorite?
My favorite TV movie actor. Dolores Drake.
Dolores Drake is in the house. You will definitely recognize
(13:18):
her. I heard about her beef with
Kendrick. It's but that's over, right?
Her beef? It's over.
It's over. Yep, she's she's backed off
that. But this is my gateway to her.
This is probably the first Christmas movie I saw her in and
she's in a million. Kendrick Lamar's forming a diss
track on Dolores Strike is more than you would ever the things
(13:40):
he said. About him to go that hard.
You were just like that Is definitely a.
Crowd. Dolores.
Dolores. I think it is.
I think this defamation but. And then finally, finally, the
most notable person who has the least to do in this movie,
Beverly Mitchell from 7th Heaven.
Unbelievable. When I saw that Beverly Mitchell
was the sister and not the lead,I thought obviously a crime had
(14:03):
been committed cause Beverly Mitchell is on 7th Heaven, which
means she automatically qualifies as leading role on
Lifetime. Yeah, that was my.
Understanding. Here's the thing.
Beverly Mitchell, always the sister in these things.
She's never the lead. That's.
Crazy. That's crazy.
She's never the lead it because she I think she's she she had
(14:24):
Jessica Biel to contend with himseven.
You know, how are you going to compete with that?
And then and she's cut up against Meredith Hanger or as I
say, and. Most people say Hagner, but you,
you do you. No contest.
Beverly Mitchell was no contest.And Beverly Mitchell, I don't
know. Something's up.
Something's up. We need to get her on the show.
(14:45):
Have you guys ever talked to? Her means something's up.
Like she doesn't want to be the lead.
OK. All right.
She they offer it and she's like, I'll be the sister.
Interesting. I don't have time for that.
Yeah, we weren't going to have her on the show, but now we
have. Joel is like two weeks of work
is just too much. Yeah, She.
She must have like, a rich husband.
She's like, I like acting, but Idon't want to learn all those
(15:07):
lines. Yeah.
You know, you know, it's not a bad, it's not a bad thing.
Like maybe, maybe she just doesn't want to be away for that
long. You know, sometimes when you
have kids, two weeks is a big commitment.
I would rehearsals. I wouldn't want to be there for
that long, you know? I'm saying she she gets offers
and she must turn them down or must counter offer with a
smaller part. Is it possible we are speaking
(15:29):
too highly of Beverly Mitchell? Yes.
No, no, Beverly Mitchell. What is like so great on 7th
Heaven? She's like the best part.
She's the best part I. Can't say I've ever seen an
episode of 7th Heaven. Oh, what D come she what?
D Come is she she's. In AD, come right on track.
Right on track. That's right, is Erica Enders.
Sorry, what? I've never seen an episode of
(15:52):
7th Heaven. What I would say don't, don't go
back. Don't go back.
What like I mean it's. Not what it it was a it was a
capsule in time, kind of like what's that other one that was
13? Interest in it it always
today's. That you're like the demo you.
That's the demo for the for seven.
(16:13):
Times, unless you grew up in my house with four channels.
I mean, I it just wasn't. I mean, I know that I actually
had that Channel. You had the WB, but you probably
weren't. You weren't allowed to watch
that, probably. When you were 97, I mean when it
was 199796 and we did our old handwriting and we talked about
7th heaven. You were alive the whole time.
(16:34):
I. Want you to be ashamed of me and
so. So here we are.
Yeah. Do you think I'm a?
Do you think? I'm a conflict of go ahead, go
ahead, you go ahead. No, no, I was just gonna say I'm
a conflict mediator. So if we need to hash this out
right now, I'm I'm ready. Did you, do you have the
training address that you're certified?
(16:54):
I'm also CPR certified and sexy certified when?
Do you get that certification? You just apply online.
Interesting. You have to be sexy certified to
call her a hanger instead of Hagner.
I do know that that's true. Right, right.
Yeah. That's why there's nothing we
can do here. It's anchored us.
It's how it's always, it always will be.
(17:16):
Let's get into the movie now that we've been talking for 17
minutes and it it, it should be time for a break.
But I can't even in even in the best of days.
Even in the best of days. Yeah, go to a break without
talking about the movie first. OK, what?
Yes, we gotta get. It's a different show.
It's a different. So the movie starts.
(17:36):
We have Gwen, our protagonist. She is a personal shopper, OK,
And she is in the city. We are back to the city.
We are not in New York. We are in the city.
We're in the city. Do you know anybody who has used
a personal shopper? Not personally no, but I I see
that in a lot of TV movies. It's a There's enough movies
(17:56):
about personal shoppers that I feel like I should have met one
by now. Right.
I mean, no, I've never met one and I've never known anyone to
use one, but I'd. Also never met somebody who was
sexy certified and now I have. So I mean we're just I haven't
met. It doesn't mean it doesn't
exist. But don't forget, this is 2015.
You the the idea of a personal shopper is one for super duper
(18:18):
rich people. And so the way it's portrayed on
TV and then the fact that we've never heard of it, OK, no
surprise, OK. Yeah, right.
Gwen knows everybody in the mall.
She's walking through the mall. She's like, spurting on perfume.
And she's like, I love that, Kathy.
That's such a great smile. And, you know, she's, like,
buying presents for everybody. She gets the best gifts.
We get, like, a little montage of her giving someone gloves,
(18:41):
and they're like, oh, my God, how did you know my hands are so
small? These gloves fit perfect.
You know she like, pays attention to details.
Yeah, she does. You know who doesn't pay
attention to details? Dan.
Josh Milne? Who's Josh Milne?
Is that the lead? Oh, Charlie Baker.
Yeah, yeah, Charlie Baker. Great.
Doesn't pay attention to know hedid it.
He's too busy. He's too busy, Patrick.
(19:02):
He is very busy. He is a downtown office person,
business owner. Sure is.
It's all it's all very nebulous.I.
Mean Travis Milne. Of course I didn't do that.
Thank you, Meredith. Right.
Charlie Baker is. And I, Patrick, you and I both
know what his job is, and we'll say it on the count of 3123.
(19:22):
Business. Mannequin.
I think he's a mannequin. Said business it's.
Fantastic. Yeah.
Gwen is assigned to be his shopper for the holiday season
because he's too busy to possibly buy presents.
She goes to the office in her Dodge Stratus named named Daisy.
(19:45):
It's the her dad's car. Very sentimental.
Oh yeah, Dolores trade. My favorite.
My movie star is the like a receptionist assistant and she's
like, oh, Charlie's in a meeting.
Hold on. And she just has behind her like
a shell full of coffee mugs. Coffee mugs everywhere.
(20:07):
And Gwen's like, what's up with the coffee mugs?
Dolores is like he gives me a mug for literally every occasion
and it's like the worst gift. You can never get some.
And keeps putting them up so. That is true.
That is giving the wrong message.
Giving the wrong vibe there if. You don't want mugs?
Maybe don't put them up every every year, you know.
(20:27):
Right. And anybody who gives mugs as a
gift, I'm so sorry, but you are about to get dragged by this
movie. This movie really hates coffee
mugs. Has a vendetta against coffee
mugs. Have you been upset by a coffee
mug? Never before.
Ever. I always think they're funny and
I mean, I'll probably throw it away, but whatever it's, it's a
(20:47):
good joke. Let's go ahead and take that
coffee mug out of Patrick's. Well, sexy.
Certified coffee mug? Go ahead.
Take it off he doesn't need. You don't, you don't need coffee
mugs is what the I think the reason the gift is like.
You have coffee mugs already? Yes, yeah, I think we get.
A Everyone does, yeah. Yeah, but then he's.
Gonna stop sexy certified on it.Maybe you do, I don't know.
(21:08):
I, I I'm pretty sure I did. So Charlie, he's no fun, right?
He just gives coffee mugs for a gift.
He doesn't want to dress up for the holidays.
He only wears Gray and black suits.
That's it. And Gwen is like, what?
I cannot have this. She drops down to her knees and
she she does and gets like a measuring tape.
Measuring. I know, I know.
(21:31):
I when it came out of my mouth, I it was inappropriate.
But she's measuring for measuring guys.
She's doing the measuring tape. It's lifetime, man, It's
different. Yes, she's like, what?
The big. He's like, whoa, what are you
doing? What are you?
Yeah. She's like I'm there from
Patrick is it's measuring. She's measuring even what this.
(21:54):
Year. Patrick save from.
The the inseam. The inseam.
She's measuring. Come on.
Where? Where's your mind going?
That's. What they're calling it, Yes.
She's going to get a nice suit designed for him and and he's
just like, she's too much like she's she's doing too much
coming in the office. He's like, I don't even know why
(22:16):
we're here. And he's talking about his son
like he needs a gift for his sonand the teacher, like would get
a gift or whatever. The son has to get a gift for
the teacher. And Charlie Gwen's like, well,
why don't you just ask your wife, like what the teacher
likes? Because Charlie has no idea what
to get her, get her a mug. And he's like, my wife is dead.
(22:42):
2015 was better. It was a better time.
Does he go that hard on it? My wife is.
Dead. He just says my wife is dead and
that's the end of the conversation.
We just go to another scene or abreak.
What Gwen's like. OK, noted.
And yeah, we, we go to, we go toanother scene.
She does some online online research.
Patrick, I think we go to a. Break there.
(23:03):
We we got it. We're here.
We go to a break, as will we. We'll be right back here in tech
home. We're back.
Welcome back everybody. Hopefully everyone has their in
seems measured. Yeah, and we.
(23:23):
Can dive back into this movie. We just found out that Charlie's
wife is dead. That's where we are, Dad.
We don't really get more detailsuntil later we learned that Gwen
is living with her sister Beverly Mitchell.
Really. Mitchell is forcing her husband
to be on all types of diets throughout the movie.
This movie loves diets and fat jokes.
(23:45):
So 2015. This movie is insane.
This poor guy. Every scene he's in, there is a
joke about how much he eats, about how.
And he's not even that bit. Like he's not, like, just us
hanging out. Yeah, it's us hanging out.
How? Dare they?
How dare. They Beverly Mitchell has a a
(24:05):
weight standard for her husband.She like has a ABMI chart.
I mean, she's Oh my God, she's going crazy.
She's going crazy, but it's it'sBeverly Mitchell.
You know, I think she. Was bringing 2016 all of these?
Every day. Every day she gets on her knees
and she measures the emcee to see how he's doing.
That's right. Yep, that's how you do it.
(24:27):
That's right. Yes.
We already talked about why Beverly Mitchell is not the star
of this movie and how that's crazy.
She's also very nosy and tries to set Gwen up on dates with
like a psychologist and stuff and and like she wants basically
she wants Gwen to find a man andget out of her house.
Is the whole storyline there? I I can't stress this enough.
(24:50):
At one point her husband drops cookies on the floor and he's
like 3 second rule and she is beside herself like is just.
Why'd you marry him? I.
Don't know. Like that's not new behavior.
Like dude has been doing that all while you were dating.
And it's like the nerve to say that only, only big people abide
(25:12):
by the three second rule. Thoughts.
We all do it right. Dude was it crashing through the
snow where there's four of them?And I was like, there's three
people who look amazing and 11 dude who looks like us.
Right. And we got an e-mail when I said
that that was like, why are you fat shaming?
Yes to me. And I'm like.
Well, this movie. This movie should have be called
wrapped in fat shaming. Yeah, you know, so Charlie and
(25:37):
Gwen continue to have their little shopping.
They have a love hate thing going, which is like the hottest
Christmas romance type because it gets they get hot, they get
angry and there's like tension and we're just waiting for that
like bottle of the burst of the whole movie, right?
So Glenn goes out on a limb. She goes shopping at Charlie's
(25:58):
Taylor, who happens to have all the measurements.
She didn't need to take the measurements.
She didn't even need to get downthere and take those
measurements. No, she didn't.
She is set on a purple pinstripesuit.
It brings out his Hazel eyes. The purple brings out the Hazel.
Huh, interesting. Yeah, I mean behind these Hazel
eyes, you know, right? Does she have her 45 on?
(26:19):
Right. We know it's not the same
singer. Right.
We know. Back off.
Kelly Clark and Sheryl Crow. Different people, so they say.
Charlie also gets shamed for gaining weight, but because the
suit doesn't fit, the suit doesn't fit when he tries it on.
(26:42):
And Gwen is like, somebody must have gained weight.
Somebody must have gained weight.
And he's like, no, I didn't, no,I didn't.
And she is like teasing him, like fatty fat, fat, fat, you
know? She is did.
You say that in the movie. She says fatty fat, fat, fat.
Yes. No, she doesn't, Dan.
She doesn't, but she does. She does say somebody gained
some weight and she somebody hadsome extra cookies.
(27:04):
And later he goes home and he gets on the scale and he's like,
Oh no, this scale must be broken, like, and he's all sad.
And then he turns into Santa Claus.
He starts growing the beard. It's the whole thing.
Right And and I'm like, lol these fat jokes are hilarious in
2015. I think in 2015 they may have
(27:25):
been funny because they were about men, you know?
So they were like, we're flipping it, we're gonna flip
it. And we have to think about the
men. We.
Flipped. It turns out, turns out fat
jokes are mean regardless of thegender.
What? Get out of it.
Yeah, maybe we should just stop comment on that.
(27:45):
So the gift giving that Gwen is doing, all the gifts, it starts
to pay off for Charlie, right? His clients, his clients are
like, whoa, that was a really thoughtful gift you gave us.
How did you even know? He lands like the biggest client
from some gift backed basket Gwen gives him.
The wife loves the chocolate macaroons or whatever.
(28:07):
Gwen also decorates the office much so Charlie's dismay.
But his son who speaks in marblemouth garble the whole movie.
Adorable child, adorable child. But he speaks in that child that
only the parents can understand what what they're saying.
You know that age when you're that age.
(28:28):
I do know that age. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's cute, though. Cute.
Kid and he, he comes into the office and he's like wow.
And. They're like it's a reverse
Charlie Brown. Yeah, yeah, it is.
It's just the apparently he liked it.
Apparently he liked the decorations.
(28:49):
Big fan and he's a big fan of ofGwen because anytime Gwen's
around he lights up and they start like they hang out
together one day because he's too busy.
Like it was supposed to be. It was supposed to be take your
kid to work day and he ditches his kid like immediately.
Oh yeah. Classic Charlie.
Classic. Another classic 2050.
(29:10):
He's very into work. He's very into work.
He's very into work. They don't like the thing about
they don't like paint Charlie tobe like this bad, like awful
person, but it's just like it. I, I think part of it in like
2015, it was like this was like,Oh yeah, the guy, the dad, you
know, dads aren't involved and it's. 2015.
(29:30):
Yes, 2015 I don't know it it it wasn't like they were when they
actively try to make a characterawful now like this was just
like it was pass. It was passive passive dadding.
Yeah, he's just kind of aloof toparenting.
Like my wife died and now I havethis kid.
Yeah, my wife is dead, but don'tworry, there's a potential wife
(29:53):
replacement. We have our bitchy brown brown
haired woman or also known as a brunette because.
What you said was bitchy brown brown headed woman and that's
something totally different. Yes, but this is an archetype in
these movies. This is probably where where it
really solidified, I think, 'cause this woman, her name's
(30:15):
Victoria, she starts off the movie on the phone, stealing a
cab from a young family that's shopping.
And the kids literally like, stick their tongues out at her
and are like, you're the worst. OK.
She has her hair hair pulled back.
The whole movie does not let those tendrils fall.
She's brown headed girl. I don't know what to tell you.
(30:38):
She thinks Gwen is classless, she thinks Gwen is a Dum Dum,
and she thinks kids love Wagyu beef burgers with wasabi cotton
candy foam. I do, I do just want to point
this. Let me tell you kids may not,
but I'm here for it. Can I just so I want to AM.
(31:01):
I now pulling for whomever. What's her name again?
Victoria. Victoria, of course.
So Victoria. Victoria convinces Charlie to go
with her to this fancy restaurant.
The boy comes along and doesn't want to touch the burger and
they leave without eating at all.
He tries the burger, but it's wasabi, so he's like, yeah.
(31:25):
It's really spicy, regular burger, he says.
It's spicy. Well, he he actually says.
You had the captions on. Yeah.
Another Star Wars. Movie it It was too spicy.
It's spicy. Your kids like spicy stuff at
all? Gav more than Chris?
(31:48):
Oh yeah. My kids love it.
They take Frank's red hot sauce and just create a pool on the
side of their plate to dip stuffin.
Yeah. That's great.
I love that. Look at you right.
It's a fun time. So go ahead, sorry.
Since they can't eat at this fancy restaurant, they leave
Victoria and Charlie and Owen goto Gwen slash Beverly Mitchell's
house for actual burgers. They eat normal like just like
(32:12):
sesame seed bun and a lettuce and whatever The thing is and
when and was that the. Mac song that you were.
Doing I was trying, I was tryingto do it but.
Bun and lettuce, whatever The thing is.
But yeah, I I realized I. Sesame seed, bun, lettuce,
whatever The thing is. Exactly.
(32:35):
You got it though, from sesame seed bun.
But yeah, Charlie and Gwen get to talking and she talks about
her dad who passed away and thenhe he's dead.
She gets cold so he gives her her jacket.
We love that. And he like, intentionally
ignores a phone call from Victoria.
So we know it's getting serious it.
(32:57):
Is getting serious. It is getting serious.
And they make little snowmen marshmallow things to like, you
know, roast marshmallows. But it's like a big, a big
marshmallow, a medium and a small, and I thought that was
adorable and we should bring that back.
It's adorable, but it's not practical.
You need three different size ofmarshmallows in your house at
all times to make that house possible.
Yeah, that's a lot of marshmallows that my kid would
(33:18):
just eat a bag of when I wasn't looking.
Seemed fun. It seemed fun it.
Does seem fun, you are right about that.
I don't have kids so. There you can handle that type
of responsibility. My kid would be in the pantry if
he knew that was in the pantry. He would be in the pantry as
soon as I was out of sight and you have 1/2 bag down before I
got back in the. Room.
I love marshmallow. Wow, wow.
Yeah, we, we got a shopping montage because of course we
(33:40):
have to have a shopping montage.She's Gwen.
Gwen uses a nose trimmer on herself and she's like, oh God,
a nose trimmer. She tries to wrap a yoga ball
like she's like, how do I do this with paper?
And then she just ends up like bouncing around and like rolling
around on it. Very silly.
Very silly. Like a public.
Domain Christmas boy or. What a terrible, yeah, public
(34:02):
domain Christmas song. Yeah.
It was, but she eventually gets everything wrapped and Charlie's
like, why don't you come to the Christmas work party?
And she's like, I don't know. I'm not, I don't work here.
And Dolores Drake is like, well,you are employed by Charlie, so
technically you are his employee, so you could come.
(34:23):
And this is all great. Before they go, Gwen puts little
pine tree cufflinks in his shirt, Charlie's shirt to give
him a more festive look. OK.
I mean, if that doesn't turn, ifthat doesn't make people like
you, I don't know. Oh well, it's the cufflinks.
Everybody knows. First thing someone notices
(34:44):
about you is how festive your cufflinks are.
Duh. Yes, So he goes and mingles and
Dolores Drake is like, hey, first of all, love the present.
You got me from my back, a back brace because my back, my back's
been bothering me from the chair.
And she has like a special bracefor her chair now.
So it's great. And she's like, I'm not a fan of
Victoria because she seems more like a business partner to
(35:06):
Charlie, you know, kind of giving Gwen like the go ahead,
like, you should make a move. And this is when we play our
game. We have a a fun game.
Guess the the holiday song. They play a piano version of the
song, and people are guessing, right?
Yeah. We love this.
And it when you when you guess right, you have to sing.
So of course Victoria guesses correctly and refuses to sing.
(35:28):
Don't make me sing. Don't, don't make me sing, Yes.
But she's really like, don't make me sing or I'll like, sue
everyone in this office, Yeah. The way that she like reacted, I
thought she was cheating somehow.
Like that's how against singing she was.
Then she got it right. It was like up on the housetop
and they're like, you have to sing it.
(35:49):
And she's like, no, I'm not gonna.
It was like someone Shazam the song and was like, I didn't, I
didn't cheat. I didn't look, I don't know.
It was a very weird reaction, but she did not want to sing.
Yes, but Gwen and Charlie are tasked to sing 'cause they
answer at the same time and they're like jinx.
And then they're like, Oh my God, we have to sing together.
(36:10):
And I brought a clip of them singing so you could hear the
lovely sounds. At this moment, Gwen is chugging
her wine, which I loved 'cause she's like, I gotta gotta get
ready. And then here they go.
Here they go. Oh my.
Gosh. Charlie's like, should I sing
along with you all? Right.
Maybe I should start singing along with you.
(36:33):
There he is. There he is.
Wow. It's.
Very moving. Yes.
And her performance? Her.
Yeah, No, her performance is very like a middle school chorus
teacher, you know what I mean? It's better than when Kelly
Pickler sang it in Graceland. So.
(36:54):
Totally. And in I believe another movie.
She loves Silent night. She loves Silent night.
They do a nice little listen forspur of the moment, not knowing
that you have to do a duet. It's not bad.
All right, not not bad. You know, Gwen carries the whole
performance really, because Charlie's just kind of like half
(37:14):
singing, but she gets upset because.
She's I'm coming. Victoria is being a hater and
and just talks trash about Gwen.So she runs away and goes in her
car and starts crying. The car won't start.
So Victoria and Charlie see her outside.
(37:35):
They're like do you need help? And Victoria's like well this
jalopy of a car and she like smacks it and then it starts up
and Gwen gets the heck out of there.
But Victoria is trying to get Charlie to propose to her and
she's like, hey, so remember howyou were like going to buy a
ring and blah, blah, blah. And before she can like really
(37:56):
get into it, the the pine scent from the cufflinks makes her
sneeze. She starts having allergies from
from nature and she's like, I got to get away from you.
You're like making me sneeze. So he sends her in a cab home.
So now we know brunettes with allergies will never find love.
Yeah, no chance. That is the moral of this story,
(38:18):
yeah. For sure, yeah.
Yeah, decorating montage happens.
More psycho sounding Christmas music here.
I didn't record it, but it was bad.
Very bad. That's a fun.
Little That's a fun little tag there, Patrick.
What? What were you?
Were you born out there? What were you?
(38:39):
Doing. I don't know.
I was being like that, that jokewhere you're like, I am the
Window Viper. You know I don't.
I don't know the I don't know the, I don't know the set up.
All I know is the punchline. I am the window Viper.
He's the window wiper. You.
Say Vendo and then Wiper. Like, well, he said, he said
(39:00):
Window Viper. I am the Window Viper.
It's a joke. Look it up.
Window wiper? That wouldn't make any sense.
Hey, Dan, we're going to take a break.
While we're taking a break, you look up the joke.
Again, we'll get on the. Other side of the break here at
(39:22):
Welcome back everybody. We're talking about the movie.
I remember the title of Dan. You got the Vinda Viper.
Yeah, this is according to Reddit, so stay, just stick with
me. A woman sitting at home watching
the TV. Her phone rings and she answers.
She hears a strange man's voice.I'm the Viper.
I'm coming next month. She hangs up, thinking it was a
(39:42):
prank and forgets about it. A few weeks goes by and she gets
another call. I'm the Viper.
I'll be there tomorrow. Now she's worried.
She calls the police and tells them the next day there's a
squad car across the street. Her phone rings.
I'm the Viper. I'm coming for you.
She runs across the street, tells the waiting officers.
(40:02):
They tell her to keep calm and go back inside. 15 minutes
later, there's a knock at the door.
She opens. There's an old guy waiting
outside with a bucket and a squeegee.
I'm the Viper. I've come to vipe the windows.
There you go. Oh my gosh.
That was stuck in my brain from who knows when they say.
Christmas in July doesn't bring out the best of us.
(40:25):
I say otherwise. Oh my gosh.
We've got our 45 on. I'm going to tell you that right
now. Yes, OK, sorry about that.
So Victoria leaves town. She leaves Gwen and Charlie and
Owen. Time to bond.
They play football randomly. What was the football about?
That was weird. That was that was weird.
(40:47):
He's a good dad. OK, OK, Charlie asked Gwen.
He's like, you're so good at giving gifts for everyone else,
what do you want for Christmas? And she simply says no.
They almost kiss. But what about Victoria?
Gwen says. She's like, you're going to,
like, be married to her where you're going to get engaged.
(41:07):
And he's like, oh, I don't know about that.
But Victoria comes back, and she's like, me to Gwen again.
She tells her to like, she's like, all right, can you go out
and shop for rings for me? Because I'm about to get
engaged, and here's what I like.And Gwen's like, you're not my
boss, so don't tell me what to do.
But also, she's like, oh, no, Charlie's gonna propose to
(41:28):
Victoria. You know, she's very upset.
She doesn't know whether to believe, whether to believe her
or not, You know, 'cause she, she's like, hey, he's getting
ready to propose, which would make you think like, oh, they've
talked about it. So stuff.
Yeah, and Victoria is like readyto, to, to go in all in on this
family. She buys a, a, a plane tickets
(41:49):
to the beach. She's going to take them on a
Christmas resort. And they're like, we don't want
to go to the beach at Christmas.Like, what are you talking
about? And you should have talked to us
about this before. And Charlie takes her out to
dinner and he's like, you know what, Like he or he says, what,
what's my eye color? And she's like, I don't know,
brown. Like, what are you talking
(42:10):
about? Where's my ring?
And he's like, my eyes are Hazelor green.
I think you might say green. And he's like, we're done.
It's over. And it, it is like the most
distinct breakup. I loved it.
I was like, great. And I will just say this is a
it's a bold move, though, because we know your rules on
(42:30):
breakups around the holidays. We know.
We know how you feel about them.Right, you gotta wait.
You gotta wait. You gotta wait until the news.
Yeah, and Victoria's like we canwork it out.
We can work it out, doing cool work it out.
Who you over? There Canadian I'm.
The full Canadian. Meanwhile, Gwen is finishing up
(42:52):
her final shopping items. She sees that engagement ring
and gets the wrong idea. She storms out hysterical,
crying but not really but it would be funny, and she ends up
eating a bunch of Christmas cookies and looking sad for a
while. That's right, her mom.
Her mom pops up. I I was like, what is the mom
doing? I'm surprised that there were
any cookies left over with the with the I know with the
(43:15):
brother-in-law around. Any other broken like any breaks
in the cookies? Yeah, or anywhere?
No, no. Great.
We already. Took two we.
Already took two, yeah. Wow, I.
Know, could have sworn we'd onlytaken 120.
Cool, awesome. Great.
You were looking up this? Broken Patrick.
You were looking up the joke during the last break, so you
(43:36):
missed it. Didn't feel like a break.
He was on task. He was on, he was doing a job,
everybody. All pristine, no break.
No breaks here. No.
So yes, basically what happens is Charlie doesn't have Gwen
come back to work the next day and he's like, what the heck?
So he leaves town, he goes to a cabin with the son he brings, or
(43:58):
he doesn't bring a toboggan, which is what what the kid
really wanted. How they understood that, I have
no idea. Toboggan's a hard word to say,
even for an adult so. And it could mean sledding, so
you know. Yeah, it could mean sledding, it
could. It could mean hat, right?
We don't know cabin we all he went Dolores sled.
(44:22):
In case you were wondering, he the kid did not ask for a hat.
He. Didn't ask for a.
Hat he would like a he would like a sled.
Dolores Drake realizes the sled is left behind him, tells Gwen
like hey, you should take this up to the cabin.
I think it's all been a misunderstanding.
Gwen gets her old jalopy car, puts the sled in the back, sings
really off key driving to the cabin.
(44:43):
For some reason I was like why is she all of a sudden bad at
singing? Really made me mad.
And the car breaks down. Of course she has to carry the
sled in her stiletto boots to the bus station.
Take the bus station. You know, Cookie, for what I
loved about this bus station is it's just a little like a bench.
It's a bench. It, it is a like a little little
(45:04):
tiny house. A little tiny.
I don't know. This guy's sitting there and
he's like where you wanna go? And she's like, I wanna go here.
And I guess that's how it works on the side of the road.
There's just a bus station on the side of the road and you you
can get there. Yeah, and, and she does, she
takes the three hour bus drive or whatever it is and Charlie's
like, what are you doing here? And she's like, oh, I just had
(45:25):
to make your son's wish come true.
And he has a gift for Gwen. He has a snow globe.
The the coffee mugs of Christmas.
Everyone just gives snow globes out all the time at Christmas.
Means nothing, but she loves it 'cause it has.
Christmas. I love it.
It has snow in it, of course. So so she gets her snow.
(45:46):
Then it really starts snowing outside and they like, realize
their feelings for each other. They kiss and then the little
kid interrupts but he's adorableand he's in Ugg boots, so 2015
and they look outside, it's snowing.
And that's the end of the movie.There it is.
(46:07):
We did it. We did it.
We did do it, everybody. Our second Lifetime Christmas in
July movie, Patrick. What do we?
What do we do now, Bud? Yeah, so now we are going to
decide if we are into it or not.Into it.
Poured up. If we are into it, put a cork in
it. If we are not into it, dance.
Since you haven't seen the movieand you used your imagination
because everyone was in trash bags the whole time, what did
(46:29):
you think of the movie? The trash bags Missy Elliott
thing helped a lot. I would say this sounds like a
movie and I met you the title Wrong. 12 gifts of Christmas, 12
presents of Christmas. It's Katrina Law and the dude
from the The maid made together made for each other.
Movie Katrina Law did another Christmas.
Movie I know she's done two, I think 3 Max.
She that movie. I'm a as, as you all know, big
(46:53):
Katrina Law fan. That movie I only thought was
OK. This sounds like a worst version
of that movie. So for me it sounds pretty
generic. I'm going to put a quark in it.
OK. That's sorry, not sorry, Bran.
Look. Bran, what are you thinking?
I loved it. I thought it was a blast.
(47:15):
You know, 2015, it's a sweet time.
I always feel when I go back to 2015, lots of times I'm like,
this is nice. I don't need it all the time,
but it was nice and this movie was nice.
And yeah, like how you feel whenyou blast your Kanye West.
That's exactly right. So I'm pouring.
Time and place, yeah. I'm pouring it up and I'm also
(47:38):
pouring it up for the vendor Viper joke so it's a double pour
up. That was almost worth it there.
Yeah. Well, thank you for that.
Yeah, I think you guys are right.
So if you look at this movie on at face value, it is nothing
special. It is very run-of-the-mill TV
movie. What makes it special I think is
the time and place that it was existing in.
(47:58):
It was right at the the precipice of this whole kind of
boom of Christmas movies that wehave all experienced.
And it really kind of shows likewhat's the little special like
the ingredient like chemistry that cannot be described that
makes these movies so rewatchable Because this I've
(48:21):
seen this one like many times and it's definitely one you
could have on and just kind of have watch and have like an
enjoyable time. So I would pour it up as well.
So. This it came out the same year
as 12 gifts of Christmas on home, so they were dueling.
Dueling it out. Secret shopper movies.
Yeah. Right.
How about that makes sense? On on lifetime on court Patrick,
(48:43):
you also said lol bring back thefat jokes.
So. He didn't.
Say everybody. No, I didn't.
I will say this movie was just listed on YouTube the past year
and it already has a million views on YouTube so.
And the comments are all like I watch this movie every.
Year just paid somebody $10. It's unbelievable.
(49:06):
They got they got some good money off of this one.
But I'm saying I, I think a lot of people have seen this movie
over the years and it, it's, it's basically like what's it
called? It's a Wonderful Life of
Christmas movies for a lifetime.Wow, this is it's a oh, OK, and
and how much it's revered. For life, for lifetime specific.
Subplot were George Bailey on a secret shopper.
(49:28):
Well, and Lifetime doesn't have many.
Yes, Lifetime doesn't have many Christmas classics, so let's
give them this one I'd. Say next week I think we are
getting another real classic with 12 Men of Christmas 2009.
If you thought If you thought 2015 was irreverent.
(49:53):
Get ready, Get ready, my fellow certified sexy Kristen
Chenoweth. That's right.
That's right, Chenoweth. Yeah, Chenoweth.
Got it. Well, certified, sexy.
I get to say it how I want. That's right.
That's. True.
That's that comes with the certifications.
Yeah, she calls me Patrick. Patrick Sirido.
On the back of the the certificate it says you can say
(50:14):
names however you want to. That's right, I'm dying for one
of these certificates. What do we gotta do around here
to be certified sex? I'm dying.
For years. We will be back next week with
another Lifetime movie. And of course, we, Dan, you and
I will be back tomorrow for another ABC Family movie.
So jealous mistletoes. Oh my God, guys, real.
(50:35):
Quick hot take on mistletoes. Tori Spelling, the good Maori
sister. What could what could go wrong?
Nothing. This movie is perfect.
There is a literal musical musical in the middle of the
movie and it and it should be onBroadway.
It should be on Broadway. It also sits right in the middle
of the run of Glee on televisionfrom no coincidence whatsoever.
(50:59):
Right. Yeah.
At that time, so. Totally Glee inspired Glee rip
off and I loved it. Loved it.
Well, we'll talk. We'll share our hot takes
tomorrow. Until then, maybe we're the
first. Wish you a merry.
Christmas the Brabble Jam podcast is produced by Aaron
Shea. For more information on Deck the
Homework you can go to deckthehallmark.com.
(51:20):
For more information on the Deckthe Hallmark family, you can go
to bramblejamplus.com. Deck the Hallmark is presented
by Philo TV. For a free trial of Philo, go to
philo.tv/DTH.
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