May 8, 2025 • 51 mins
Bran, Dan, Patrick, and Producer Erin break down the latest buzzy Lifetime Movie! Will we pour it up or put a Cork in it?
Lifetime Uncorked and Deck the Hallmark collide on this monthly podcast covering your favorite TV movies! Brandon (Bran) Gray & Daniel (Dan) Thompson join Lifetime Expert Patrick Serrano to break Lifetime's TV Movie lineup for 2025. Follow us on social media for more content @LifetimeUncorked & @HallmarkPodcast
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:03):
Hi, I'm Bran and I love Lifetimemovies.
Hi, I'm Patrick Toronto and I'm a Lifetime movie expert.
I'm Dana and I despise Lifetime movies, and this is the deck,
the Hallmark podcast deck the. Hallmark gets his podcast and.
Friends host this podcast. Yes, yes, back and better than
(00:37):
ever, yeah. Patrick's back.
It's always very exciting. The people, the people, the
people love you. That's so nice, I love them too.
Great, all of them. Well, there's probably one
that's my enemy, but but we'll, we'll figure.
It out the friend of your friendof mine.
The you're my friend. They're my friends forever.
(01:00):
They could be my friend if you think about it that way.
Do you? Know this week we have 5 Deck
the homework hosts that each getone episode this week.
Isn't that fun? Look at us.
Five deck the homework hosts, and they all get one.
Five, Yeah. Alonzo, Patrick, Ryan, Jacks,
Bryan. Those are the five.
OK. And is this elimination style
whoever does the best? We are having a Saturday episode
(01:21):
where we eliminate one of the five and then every week we'll
do so until there's only one host to rule them all, and that
will be the host moving forward.For every day.
And I know that you know this, Patrick, but by eliminate we
mean kill. We, we do mean kill.
And that was you signed up for it.
You signed up for it. Yeah, I it was I I didn't read
the data the under what is it called?
The fine parent. I didn't read the fine parent.
(01:41):
To be honest as you're already struggling.
I was worried about the dotted lines.
We were. I was like jumping ahead, like
where's the dotted line part? Yeah, I know.
And we're. Gonna and then is it a is it an
on stage execution of Bramble Fest?
On stage execution tickets. Cool.
Take the homer.com/fest We wouldlove for you to join us this
July and. Brian, maybe fingers crossed,
Don't show up. That way July it really honest.
(02:06):
Obviously I think the stage was getting a little too full, so
this does make sense. July 18th, 19th, that part is
real. Brainwell Fest is really
happening. We're not July 8th, we're not
executing anyone yet. We'll see kind of how things.
We'll see. We'll see how.
We'll see how the week goes. I'm very excited about Brainwell
Fest. I'm always excited to get to
hang out with you, Patrick and I.
It can't come soon enough. Yeah, it's it's basically summer
(02:29):
camp. I love it.
It's blocked on my calendar. I'm I'm I'm there.
Well, I didn't. I haven't been invited yet but
but I'm I'm assuming I'm there. Get out of here.
Stop it. You're invited.
You have a perennial invitation to Bramble Fest.
You know that. That means you have to bring.
If only I knew. If only I knew what perennial
mean. Yeah, you got.
To bring your parents with you. Right, exactly.
(02:51):
My parents, they never age. They never age.
Have your parents listened to our show before?
Yeah, probably. You know, I think they were kind
of over it by the time like I jumped on with you guys and they
were like, OK, we did. They recorded a podcast with me
and after that they were like all.
Right, we've done the work. We understand.
We did the one we did recently get a review on Deck the
(03:13):
Hallmark Patrick from somebody who's a big fan of you and
Lifetime. Nice.
Less a. Fan less a fan of us, and that's
OK. Oh, so it was like Patrick
should take over and wasn't? That, but they they probably
wouldn't be upset. I think they said they found us
because of you and then our showisn't very good.
(03:35):
Yeah, that's basically the. Long and short of Fair.
Yeah, yeah. I get.
It yeah, I'm they're very different shows.
You guys have segments and I notably don't notably because
that's too much work. That's too much work.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Every, every time you do a
homework movie with us and you do the segments, you're like, I
just can't. It's too this.
Too. Yeah, I'm like too much
structure. Like yeah, wait, what?
(03:57):
Who? Wait who?
When? How?
How you basically, Yeah. Who's what?
For now, yeah. That's right.
For my I do, yeah. All right today we are covering
I am your biggest fan. I am your biggest fan very
excited. I've been a stalker movie, yes.
And what for those of you, maybethis is your first night to
(04:19):
lifetime on courts somehow. I don't know how you I don't
know how you just now found. This welcome, welcome.
Patrick, you and I have seen themovie, Dan has not seen the
movie. And we're going to explain the
movie, walk you through it, and at the end of it we get to
decide whether or not it was good or not.
That's exactly right. So thanks.
(04:40):
For doing that, it's not a, you know, a rating of quality.
It's you know what, what you pour it up.
Are you into it? It's not, it doesn't matter like
if you give it a 5 of 10 or an 8of 10.
It's just basically, would I watch it again?
Basically like, would I recommend this?
Would I? Is there anything I could say
that's like, no, this is worth it?
That's a port up. I put a cork in.
(05:01):
It's like, Nah, never, never again.
I'm done. Yeah, your time is valuable and
and we're here to we're here to help.
That's exactly right. So today's movie is I Am Your
Biggest Fan, which premiered this past Saturday on Lifetime.
So, Patrick, what else do we need to know before we dive in?
There's a lot. So the cast, of course, I'll
read through the names. They gave me a tricky one right
(05:23):
off the bat. Megan Carles Caraquillo.
Megan Caraquillo. Yeah.
Lauren. Lauren Cole and Colton Tap.
Colton Tap. And most notably, Colton.
Colton. Most notably directed by Hayley
(05:44):
Duff, lifetime queen Hilary Duff's older sister and a legend
in her own right, so. Hayley Duff I I I just want to
say now, is this, this is not her first Lifetime movie she's
directed, correct? Right.
It's not her first, but she usedto be prolifically on these,
like in the early 2000s or mid 2000s.
I don't know how how this is, but apparently like this is kind
(06:08):
of like what she's doing now. She's like directing these
movies. I heard from, I was talking to a
buddy who is in the industry, and I told him that I watched
this movie and that Haley Duff directed it.
And he was like, Oh yeah, she's directing a ton of these.
Like he just got a whole whole bucket full of them so.
Whole bucket full. Oh yeah.
(06:29):
Good, good, good. Much like Fran Drescher, she has
style, she has class. She was there.
That's how she became the director.
Well, that's the whole thing. Yeah, that's the whole ball
game. Exactly and.
And no, no Haley Duff in this movie though.
She's just strangely. Behind the camera.
She's a Rio director. She doesn't need.
She's not Alfred Hitchcock, OK? She doesn't need to make a
cameo. She's not M Night.
(06:51):
I'm a long. I'm a long.
There it is. Yeah.
I'm sorry. She's.
Not yeah, she's like, I was notorious for doing that.
Yeah, that's right. I've done my time in front of
the camera. I'm I'm here to go deep into the
psyche of I only want to work onprojects that mean a lot to me.
And this one clearly worked for her on so many levels.
You'll see, Dan, you'll see. I'm I'm excited to, I mean,
(07:12):
clearly you guys are kind of giving it away here that it's,
it's a, it's a good one, it's a winner.
So. We it could be so bad, it could
be so bad. It's good all right.
We'll see. Don't act.
Like, you know. Yes, but I want to start off.
I don't usually do this. I I I brought a clip and I want
right off the bat, we're going to start at the end.
(07:32):
I do want to. I have a new mic, everyone, it's
pink. I want to see what you think
about the. We're going to start at the end.
And then Dan, how we got there, You know what I mean?
Yeah, exactly. All right, So let me make sure
my sound is on. OK, great all.
(07:53):
Right. Who's ready to do some
Shakespeare? OK, that's the end of the movie.
That's literally the last line of the movie.
Brother, I ought to be honest with you could not believe it
when they cheered. Who's going to do some
Shakespeare? Followed by a thunderous
applause. So she's directing a play.
(08:14):
Well, we'll get there. It it all, it all will make
sense to you. But I just want you to know that
that was the probably the one ofthe best.
And you know, when you you in the Lifetime movie, you have all
the terrible things happen and then you cut to like 5 weeks
later and that was it. That was it.
I I did laugh out loud at the the cheering of that, yes.
(08:36):
Y'all ready for some Shakespearewoo?
Who's ready to do Shakespeare? We love you.
Billy that no one. I.
Know OK, the movie actually starts what we're like in a in a
flashback. I'm trying to set the era they
have like ATV that's not a flat screen, so that era.
Square right. Big 24322 Exactly right.
(09:00):
Yeah, there is a young child of maybe 10 years old sitting in
front of the TV, very close and kind of watching the sitcom.
And the sitcom is called From the Heart, and it's giving like
full house, kind of. Mini.
Boy Meets World like that time but wholesome like family show.
(09:24):
Yeah, family having fun in the living room.
Full audience. Multicam.
That's right. Yep.
And you know, she's got that volume turned up real loud
because her parents are fightingin the background and the voice
over of the fighting is just themost wild.
Like they had me record the voice over, you know, like in
(09:46):
post. And they're like, Patrick, can
you just send in some clips? And I'm like.
Don't tell me what to do. And you're like.
What? I'm over here.
I'm over here doing my thing. You know, like that.
All of your voice work is very Southern, Patrick, you're not
over there, but all of your voice work is very much don't
tell me what to do. I'm over here like it's all like
(10:07):
you went, you dropped in the Southern.
It's just fascinating. I've been watching a lot of
Bette Davis lately so she's rubbing off.
It's what the role called for, Dan.
Yeah, of course those. Two, it is.
Yes, it is. Both of them.
Of course, but yeah, the, the fighting was a little unhinged
'cause it was just like not really fighting, just people
shouting. We flashed at present day we're
(10:29):
in, we're in LA, we see all likethe interstates connecting and
everything. And we've learned that the TV
show, the one, the one called that I'm never going to remember
from the heart, From the Heart is rumored to be getting a
reboot because it went so pickedup on streaming and it's now
very popular. So that whole kind of trend.
And they keep saying, they keep saying streaming.
(10:51):
They know. Streaming.
They know. Lifetime knows this show on the
streaming. This show took off on streaming,
and the reboot would also be forstreaming.
Yeah, right. Don't ask the streamer.
Doesn't like the Fuller House? Yeah, for streaming, yeah.
Fuller House, great example. There's so many examples of
this. The one with Meghan Markle, I
don't. I never watched that show, but
(11:13):
Meghan Markle was in it. And but yeah, Haley Duff knows
all about this because Haley Duff, her sister was Lizzie
McGuire. And they tried to reboot that.
And then Lizzie McGuire couldn'thave sex.
And Haley, Haley Duff was like, sis, you got to drop the show.
You got to get out of this contract.
And she said, well, I didn't sign on the dotted line.
What just happened? Well, you know.
(11:34):
Couldn't have sex, what are you talking about?
Aaron know that. Aaron, hold on, Aaron.
Aaron, give Dan the down low here because this is very
important. I don't know any like I.
So let's start with the basics, Dan.
You remember there was a show, Lizzie McGuire, that you've
never seen. Yeah, yeah.
Sure. A couple years ago they were
(11:55):
going to reboot it with a 30 year old Lizzie and all the
original cast had like signed back on.
We were going to pick up. You know, that's exciting for
all you, Lizzie. It was.
Very exciting. And this was right when Disney
Plus launched, and it was one ofthe this is what's coming.
It was a big part of that lot offan, you know, excitement.
That's why we signed up for the promise of Liz.
(12:18):
Of Liz McGuire. That's why we're here.
I've they've either filmed an episode, they've at least
they've at least written the first two episodes and then
Disney had a huge issue because Hillary and I'm blanking on the
creator's name, but they were very adamant that the show pick
(12:39):
up with Lizzie being 30 and it being written for an.
Audience. Well, she's 30, yes.
Yes, but it but it's not like when they rebooted, you know,
Girl Meets World. That was a show not for the fans
of Boy Meets World, correct. That was a show for current, you
know, 12 year. Olds.
So what? Did Disney think that they were
(13:00):
going to be 30 year olds acting like 12 year olds?
Yep. And so like.
Maybe. Maybe that what they wanted was
the same thing as Girl Meets World, where it's like Lizzie's
now a mom, but it's manly about the kids.
OK, that makes sense. Whereas the show was originally
like pitched with the idea of this is a like Lizzie's the main
character and then. And she should be.
(13:21):
Just wanted it to be more dumbeddown, you know?
And, and Lizzie thought that would and Hillary thought that
that wasn't fair. To the fans.
Lizzie, as we call her. And so Disney scrapped it.
They said we can't put content like that on Disney Plus, which
is really funny. Because it's hilarious.
Now Deadpool versus Wolverine ison Deadpool.
Versus Wolverine on Disney Plus.But how dare Lizzie be a single
(13:44):
woman in New York City in her 30s going on dates?
And that's how she met your father.
Yeah, which is a show I used as my replacement, Lizzie McGuire.
Then they cancelled that too. I'm sorry for.
You. Yeah.
I'm sad. I'm just real sad.
I hate it here. I'm still holding out hope.
Interesting. That they, that they'll.
Shocking for me, brain. Still holding out hope so.
That's where we're at big of true.
(14:06):
I'm upset I I was already havinga rough Monday, much like Dan,
and this is making it worse. So I hope this movie is funny
and can lift my spirits all. Right back to you, Patrick.
I'm sorry, Lizzie McGuire can't.Have.
Well, no, it's. It's great, is on Disney Plus
and I can't get a Lizzie McGuirereboot.
Well, you're right. You're right.
And, well, and then they're going to be.
(14:26):
Kids. They're rebooting Nik Tuck too I
mean this is just a continual thing like the IP renewal.
So this movie is very on on topic on current trends.
You know what I'm saying? Yes.
So we everybody's on board for the reboot.
Everybody's on board all the actors except for the the one
(14:47):
star, the Lizzie McGuire, if youwould, if you were to compare
it, her name is Delilah. She's now a high.
School. Sorry, go ahead.
Patrick whenever. You're ready, right?
Right. She's a high school teacher.
She teaches theater. And all the kids are like, oh,
you were on a show when you werelike a kid That's so funny.
(15:07):
And you're such a loser for doing that.
They're like not impressed at all.
And there's another guy, her Co star, her like little love
interest on the show. His name's Cody and he's out
there like struggling actor doing auditions for like foot
fungal commercials and stuff. Like it's not going well for
(15:28):
him, right? Right, right.
And he goes in the audition roomand he crunches it, of course.
But all of all the casting director really wants to talk
about is, hey, I hear the show might be getting rebooted.
He's just trying to make a name for himself.
All he gets to hear about is CCBand Fuller House.
That's exactly right, yeah. I got it.
Yeah. And, and everybody's trying to
get Delilah to get on board. Like the producer calls and
(15:49):
she's like, not interested. I give you my blessing and,
like, recast me. I don't care.
Cody calls and he's like, please, like, I need a job.
I'm trying to be an actor, and this would really help me out.
And she's like, I've. It's really traumatic for me.
I have a lot of bad memories from the show and on the set and
it just is not. I'm not, I'm not feeling it.
Right. And and Dan, we do, you know,
(16:11):
you might be wondering what likewhat's the deal?
Why was this so traumatic? What's the deal?
That's exactly right, We do get a flashback of her.
Doing Shakespeare. Not doing Shakespeare, she's
doing All My Heart or whatever the show is called.
From the heart. From the heart.
Oh, my heart's Brendan. Brendan Elliott.
OK, great. And she forgets a line.
(16:34):
Oh, no. And her TV dad is like, he
throws up his arms, like, what the heck?
And then he go, She goes and she's pulled aside from her mom,
who is like on set. And she's just like, I don't
care what's going on in your life.
I don't care. You got to get this.
You got to do this. There's no time for to be tired,
(16:55):
but you got to be a professional.
And so her mom is like really like trying to get her to do
this stuff. And so like this, the traumatic
experience is like, this wasn't fun for me.
This wasn't a fun thing. And my mom was really mean to
me. And that's why she doesn't want
to do this, because it's traumatic.
Sounds like some actual Disney child stores.
Yeah, right. I'm sure.
Exactly. It was very much giving that.
And I brought a clip of this specifically because Dan, I want
(17:18):
you to listen to the the lane ornot the language.
The dialogue in the actual show is just wild.
OK. Are you ready?
I'm ready. And you're using the heck out of
this new microphone. Today, there you are here.
It comes. Oh, here it comes.
Oh, OK. Oh God I'm so bad at this.
OK, here it comes. File it on TV slash TTA.
(17:38):
I love that I've always like I Patrick no like Patrick has sent
me clips before to play and today he's like I don't want.
This I'm not doing. This new mic.
I didn't, I didn't. I was like, I could do it
myself. I don't need, I don't need high
tech, OK, the whole school. Everyone left him Dad.
What do you mean everybody laughed at you?
(17:58):
I'm the only one who can laugh at you.
What? I'm the only one that can laugh
at you? That is so rude.
That is not funny. That is so rude.
Rude. How so rude?
Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, you're right. I didn't even think of that.
How rude it's how rude it's. How rude.
It's how rude. But yeah, I was like, man, this
(18:19):
writing is terrible and they're just so mean to this poor child
for no reason. Raven, how rude.
Yeah, and then like he's not nice to her either, as on set,
like he was so like mad that sheforgot the line.
It was a very sad. Yeah, You know, they're just
tapping into, well, I can't say who, but we know.
We all know who that was supposed to be.
(18:39):
We all know. We do.
He has great hair. Oh, John Stamos.
I didn't say it. I didn't say it.
Allegedly. Allegedly.
John Stamos was mean on set. Full House?
Of course no. No, guys, I have.
I have no idea. Oh my gosh dude, you're going to
(19:00):
get a sued. I got to be honest.
John Stevenson. If you're, if you're listening
because you, you know, thought that you might want to do a
lawsuit, I want to let you know that I just watched your Drummio
video of you. He's a drummer.
I don't know if you know this. About I did not know this.
He's a drummer and he really does play with The Beach Boys
occasionally and like, do these things I've.
(19:21):
Heard this from you maybe? There's a, a, a YouTube channel
called Drummio where they bring in drummers to play the songs
that they've never heard before without the drum tracks.
So they listen to the song, they've never heard the song
before, and then they put their own drums behind it.
And so OK. And he did it with the Papa
Roach song Cut my life into. And he was great.
(19:42):
He'd never heard that song before, and he crushed it.
So John, you crushed it. Shout out John.
Stamos well, that's incredible. And you know, no shade to John
Stamos. I've actually heard he's pretty
nice. So just want to, you know, I was
there real quick. Yeah.
So you know. That was the monster.
That's right. I'm just kidding.
No, just kidding. You know who's not nice?
(20:04):
Delilah fans. They're all mad.
They are all sending me messages.
They're sending. They're like throwing rocks to
her window with like, backed outeyes, you know, vandalizing her
car, all sorts of terrible. Things were you confused,
Patrick at all? When the the news breaks that
she's not going to do the show or whatever and she opens up her
phone and she's like flooded with a bunch of messages.
(20:27):
I was like, I was like, are these like her friends and
family that are texting her these things?
Like I didn't know where these messages were coming from.
I think they were coming from her social media.
Right, like messages. And my yeah, so, but I wrote
some of them down and my favorite, my favorite was
Delilah, the downer dot dot dot.What else do I have?
(20:53):
She used to be my favorite part of the show.
OK. I like, I like the person that
said boom, that's all. Wow.
Oh that's good. Just came here to say my that's
all. Yeah, my year equal, equal sign
ruined. My year, What is?
You know these? What's?
(21:13):
I'm gagged. I'm gagged, like I'm dead.
Like like this is so shocking. Oh, she must want to stay in her
flop era. That was pretty good.
That's. But yeah, things start getting
really serious really fast. Rock thrown through her window.
Car vandalized deck. The Hallmark going to break.
(21:34):
Wow, all that stuff's. Happening.
All that stuff's happening. Should we figure it out after
the break? I think so.
I think we have to 'cause it's it's.
That's one of the things we'll be right back and everything
deck the. Hallmark lifetime on quotes the.
Most good guy. Back, everybody.
Things are getting serious. Delilah's having a tough time
(21:55):
and she's not feeling safe at her house.
What is she to do? Well, she calls the cops, which
is, which is what you're not supposed to do in a Lifetime
movie because the Lifetime cops are never going to care about
your problems. They're just going to say you're
famous, you deserve this type ofattention.
And she's like, what? They're like, get a security
camera. Like we don't know what to tell
you. Like get a life, do the reboot.
(22:16):
We're out of here. They're the the meanest.
They are the meanest cops I've seen in a Lifetime movie in a
while. Wow.
Yeah, they are very, everybody'svery pushy towards her doing
this reboot, even people that shouldn't have any opinion on
the matter. Right.
So she's like not feeling safe in her home.
She goes to the coffee shop where she grades her papers for
school. As you know, Dan, you were a
(22:38):
principal and that's where you go to do work.
You go to the coffee shop and there's this.
You don't have a ball there. Right, yeah, I know there's a a
barista there. She's got little like Princess
Leia ears. Is that what those are called?
Or little Minnie Mouse ears. But it's her hair, and she has
bangs and she's got a lot of hair going on.
(23:01):
Oh, the Cinnabuns. Yeah, like the Cinnabuns.
But if you moved them up. Here's a picture.
Space buns, is that what they'recalled?
Yes, Sir. Got it.
Space buns. Yeah.
And she is giving like, young, cool, young, cool barista.
She's very sweet and nice. She's very nice.
Right, Right. She's very nice and, and I was,
(23:23):
I was a bit like unsure because part of me was like, she's
definitely the one who's the bigfan, but also she was very
convincing that she was very nice.
She was convincingly nice. So it starts, yeah, there's no
shadiness and. She does the thing and she does
the thing where it's like, you know, everybody wants me to like
(23:46):
I I did the show as a kid. She's like, ohh, really like
what show? Like, plays it off like she's,
yeah, didn't know who she was and didn't know that about this
reboot. She's very surprised by all of.
It and just plays it off. Just plays it off all.
Right. Yeah, it's really good advice
for when you meet famous people.You have to act very nonchalant
about it, like I did with MarcusRosner.
(24:08):
And Andrew Walker. That's still.
And and actually Andrew Walker, I actually did a good job, but
Marcus Rosner, I I said, Hey, can I be like thirsty the whole
weekend over to you as like a bit.
I mean, I am thirsty over you, but are you cool with?
Me. Well, you forgot to share that
with you. But he's never coming back.
Oh, he's never coming back. OK.
(24:28):
Well, OK. Well, we'll we'll get the next
one. You filed A restraining order,
but it was in Canada and those the translation there.
I think you're good, Patrick. I think you're good here in the
sense, yeah. Oh, great, great.
But no, she's she's like very, very cool.
She reminds me a lot of Beverly Mitchell.
You've ever seen Beverly Mitchell do acting?
Talk about 7th heaven. Yeah, the the sister who's like
(24:53):
playing young, but she's like the oldest person in the cast.
Oh. Boy, Yeah, yeah, I know what
you're talking about. So yeah, that's kind of the vibe
I was getting from her. Delilah offers or Delilah agrees
to move in with this barista girl.
Her name's Ellen. Then they live above the coffee
shop, so it's not far to go. And she has a really nice night,
(25:13):
like they have breakfast in the morning and like have girl talk
and like they seem like, you know, roommates having having a
nice time. Nothing weird, no weird lifetime
music or like a a weird stare ora weird like touch.
Nothing like that. Nothing.
No, nothing at all. No problems.
Clearly. Great.
(25:33):
No problems. The end.
Real friends. Bye.
Let's. Do some Shakespeare.
Let's do some Shakespeare. Yeah, But the mother, Delilah's
mother shows up, and she's like,hey, why are you not doing this?
Reboot, Reboot. You're so ungrateful.
You need to get your life together.
And you should be happy that these people care about you at
(25:56):
all. And Delilah's like, this is not
cool. You're the one who's stalking
me. I'm out of here.
She goes. That's right.
She thinks sounds. Her mom that did all this stuff.
Right, because that's. You know, part and parcel with
what? Mom.
Yeah, Mom. Mom's mean to me then.
Mom's mean to me now. Mom's mean to me forever.
(26:17):
Right. So she's trying to get out of
town to get away from her mother's stalking her.
And Ellen's like my parents havea house.
I'm house sitting. It's in the middle of like
nowhere. But it'll be a good break from
all this drama. And I was like, this sounds
great. To which I'm just been like, Oh,
well, if you're going to be goneat your parents house, what can
(26:37):
I just stay at your apartment? You're right.
But she doesn't do much better. Solution.
She doesn't do that. She's like, yeah, I'll come with
you to your parents house. Yeah, where there's no cell
service, no Wi-Fi, no nothing. The the dryer breaks and then
Ellen's, like, here, wear this. It's an exact replica of the
costume she wore in the show. Yeah.
(26:59):
Which I thought was hilarious. She's like, oh, I, I, you know,
this is my parents place so I don't really like, I only have
stuff that I had when I was likein like when I was a kid or
whatever. And then it is an exact replica
and Delilah's like, oh, this does kind of look like something
that I would have worn. That's crazy.
That's so weird. She goes to look for like a
(27:22):
sweater because she's cold or something.
And this is when she's she realizes she's in trouble.
She finds a closet full of like little notebooks about her
character. Her character's name is Chelsea.
And then you see Ellen kind of come up behind her and she's
like, you shouldn't be snipping through people's things.
Oh my gosh. And.
Then Chelsea and then puts a needle in her neck and she
(27:44):
collapses. Oh, I love a good needle in the
neck. And she's like, you're you're
not going anywhere. You're not going.
Anywhere Have you seen Dexter Patrick?
Dexter to Haven't seen it. I haven't seen.
It there's a lot, there's a lot of needles to necks in in
Dexter. I think you'd really enjoy
yourself if that's a thing for you.
Yeah, yeah. Great.
(28:04):
I will check it out. Really quick, Dexter, like you
had seen it and then immediatelyto Dexter haven't seen it.
No, I haven't. I wouldn't dare haven't.
I will say really quickly, Patrick, one thing before the
closet incident is she's like, oh, I'm going to drive into
town, come with me and you can check your e-mail or whatever.
The car doesn't start and Delilah starts to be like, this
(28:28):
is a little bit weird. And so she goes inside to grab
something and then watches. What is it, Ella?
Is that the girl's name? Watches Ellen.
Ellen like, just like kind of look at the car and I think she
has like a shovel in her hand. And that's when Delilah's like,
I think something might be goingon.
So she does go into her room andthe closet and like she says
(28:53):
it's 'cause she's cold. But I think that she really was
just like beginning to realize maybe she's up to something.
And so she was doing a bit of Snoop, Snoop Dogg.
Something's not right, so Jalilawakes up.
She's fully in a replica of her set, the living room set.
Yes, she's made the basement of her parents house a replica.
(29:16):
Oh my gosh, living room set. That's awesome.
Yeah, it is pretty cool. You're right.
Right. She did a good job.
Ellen did a good job. Yeah, and Ellen is?
Having a replica Having a replica of your favorite
childhood TV show is only weird if you drug the the TV star and
(29:38):
chain them and put them in. I think it's weird regardless,
but I do think it's also very impressive.
You think it's weird to like be that big of a fan?
Just be like I'm going to have aA.
Place where we grow a pretty bigfan of stuff like that.
Ryan Popola. Can you imagine him having a
Mighty Morphin Power Rangers like the set deck?
Yeah, no, yeah, no. Maybe, maybe I up that room with
(30:04):
the big head, that guy with the big.
Head. It'd be super.
Cool, the room Patrick's talkingabout.
If you walked into his basement.And it was set up like, yeah,
it'd be awesome. It's the equivalent of me having
a Christmas tree up all year. I'm a big Christmas fan and.
It makes me the equivalent of that.
Yeah, I'm a big Christmas fan and like a Christmas.
Tree, something you put up everyyear.
The other one is something you do if you want to wear someone's
(30:26):
skin. You don't think that's not the
no? I think it's only weird if she
kidnaps the lead, which she does.
She does, so it does get a. Little and she she from this
point on, she only refers to heras Chelsea, the character, and
she's she's remember when in theshow when you did this and
you're, you know, like she's just keeps referencing plot
(30:46):
lines to Delilah and Delilah's like I don't remember anything
about the show, but she realizesthe the only way out is through.
She's got to commit to the bit and be Chelsea or Ellen is going
to kill her. Right.
It's very, it's very serious stuff.
And she like begins to go a lot like she acknowledges that she
(31:08):
is Chelsea. They talk, they talk about her
boyfriend from the TV show as ifit's real, you know, does a
little gossip sesh like. Gossip sesh.
It's. It's very so she's trying to go
along with it just to so that Ellen's guard will go down and
then maybe she can make a move. Yeah, she tries to escape.
(31:28):
She's like chained to something,like she has like chains on her
ankles and then she tries to escape.
It doesn't really go well because the house is booby
trapped. Like home alone, like marbles.
And one specific booby trap, which is she gets out of the
basement and she runs as fast asshe can through the kitchen to
(31:50):
the door. And in the kitchen is a like a,
a, a rope, like a little fishingline to trip her.
And then on the floor is just broken glass.
So like as far as no way to get around that if you're going to
have one singular home alone trap, I guess that's a good one
because it works and she gets all bloody.
And but the thing that I thoughtwas funny, Patrick, and I don't
(32:13):
know if you picked up on this, but she gets to the back door,
right? She crawls through the glass in
the most inconvenient way possible, gets to the door and
the door is locked from the outside.
But the thing about this door isthat there's a big old glass
window in the middle of the door.
So like, while you're already bloodied from the glass, what's
(32:36):
some more, right? Like just punch through it and
unlock the door, right? Did you think about that at all?
No, I don't punch. I don't punch, so I wouldn't go
there. Punch that was silly.
That was that was a dumb question.
I apologize. That was a dumb question.
I I I I'm not trying to say thisthat you would.
I'm just saying that if if you, you know, are already bloodied
(32:57):
from glass, what's some more glass on your arm is all I'm
saying, you know? Right.
I get it. I mean, but for me personally,
if I was, you know, trapped in aLifetime movie, I I wouldn't
really be getting out. I'd have to have someone come
save me. That's just how.
I thought she was going to try to run through it like she
literally just like kind of getsup against the wall and is like,
and I thought she was going. To try Patrick if you got
(33:17):
kidnapped by somebody and you showed up and they had set up
your normal. If you ever watch on follow
follow the TV show Cth, your normal setup for Dick the
lifetime on with your old mic that hangs down and then the
posters in the background. If they had a corner of a
basement set up like that and they wanted you to sit over
there and just talk into the micall the time, how quickly into
(33:38):
that would you be? Like, all right, whatever I got
to, I just got to freaking do this.
Oh yeah, I would do it. I'd be like, when is my meal
breaks? Like where's the bathroom?
Let's just do it. You be in immediately.
Somebody will find me eventually.
It'll be fine. Patrick's.
Just happy that somebody likes his work.
He's like. Oh, exactly.
I'm like, oh, you're a fan. Yeah.
Oh, great, you're a fan. Wonderful.
(34:00):
That's right. Yeah.
There's no misery moment for me.I'm.
I'm just going to be like, yeah,I'll, I'll break my legs.
All right, you're. Playing you know about Patrick
because he's he doesn't punch. He doesn't punch.
You don't have anything to worryabout.
He's. Not going to.
He just put that out. There, he doesn't punch.
He doesn't punch. Yes, no.
So Ellen handcuffs Delilah for leaving and she's like, you're
going to have to could be betterbehaved and maybe you'll get
(34:20):
these handcuffs off and Delilah's like this.
It didn't go well. I should have just played along,
which is what she does from now on.
We cut to Cody, the guy who was in those foot fungus commercials
and and needing a role. He is suddenly very concerned
about Delilah. The police aren't concerned.
He tries to talk to them and they're they're basically like,
(34:41):
get out of here. You're has been an actor and a
loser and we're not really concerned.
You believe this guy? Take care of his fellow citizen
and human being. Well, they they get in in the
police's defense here, which I'mnot prone to defend, but they do
catch him snooping around her house and looking through her
windows. All right, there it is.
So. Now he's doing that because he
(35:04):
hasn't heard from her in a long time.
Knocks on the door. No one answers.
Yeah. And so that's when they, they
catch him. So she he decides I'm going to
do my own investigation. And he knows that.
His old pal Delilah Ella loves this local coffee shop.
So he goes to the coffee shop and Ellen is barista.
(35:25):
And he's like, hey, do you know this person?
She says no. And there's another worker there
that is immediately a bit suspicious about what just
happened. And why is that, Patrick?
Well, he, Ellen was kind of obsessed with him and made like
a fake relationship in her head about them.
(35:46):
And she's like, oh, my boyfriend, my boyfriend kind of
like me with Marcus Rosner. And then and then the guy is
like, I overheard the conversation.
Hey, I just want to let you knowthat Ellen's a little off.
There's something not right about her and that person that
you were talking about, the actress, she comes in here all
the time and they're friends. So you should look into Ellen
(36:09):
and or follow her or whatever, which is what Cody does.
Cody follows Ellen home from work.
He's. So bad at following people in a
car, like he couldn't be worse at it.
He's fought like it's night time.
He's following way too close andshe lives out in like the
country and her driveway is likea road.
(36:30):
You know what I'm talking about?Like where driveway gets its own
Rd. It's so long and he pulls in
right behind her, headlights on.Just very very bad at following.
Yes, 100%. Right, He's only played a
detective on TV. He doesn't know how.
To do it. And he looks in the basement
(36:51):
window, he sees them like eatinghamburgers cuz Alan brought
hamburgers from work or something.
And he's like, I think Delilah and Alan are just hanging out
eating hamburgers. They're cool just eating
burgers. But yeah, Alan goes away
somewhere and then Delilah's like, help me, help me Get Me
Out of here. And before he can do anything,
he gets stuck in the neck with aDexter pin.
(37:12):
Yeah, which you've not seen, butfine.
Yeah. Dexter Pin.
Yeah. She has a lot of whatever the
drug is that is immediately knocking people out with when
giving via shot. She has a lot.
Of it, a lot of it, yeah. Ready to go of.
Course you do. And then he wakes up.
He's handcuffed now and she she is referring to him as his
(37:34):
character Brandon or something. I don't.
I didn't write it down. She's getting the whole Dang
together. Yeah.
And then it kind of, I don't know, Cody is Cody is his name,
but I think the character name, it doesn't matter.
The point is she wants him to act out his character with
Chelsea. And then they do like a fanfic
thing where they're like, look, we're we love each other so
(37:54):
much, we're going to get engaged.
And she's like, Oh my God, I can't believe this is finally
happening. I've dreamed of this.
Moment so far removed from Let'sdo some Shakespeare.
I can't even tell you how we're going to.
I'm so excited because I don't know how we get there from here.
I don't know how we get there from here, aside from acting.
Right, Yeah, I mean, acting's a big deal.
Big deal. So they're doing like this whole
(38:18):
they Speaking of acting, they are acting like the characters
now. Yeah.
Cody eventually catches on and. Yeah, Cody's confused at first
because Delilah's still going full.
I'm Chelsea bitch, basically. And he finally, partly because
she's like, I love you and I always thought we would end up
together. He's just kind of like, oh, OK,
(38:38):
well, I guess I'll go along withthat 'cause that's nice.
And she eventually, like, walks out of the room and that's when
she's like, we got to go along with this and just like, give
her what she wants. And so like they, he proposes to
her and they kiss and he is thentaken from full double handcuff
(39:01):
situation to single handcuff. Situation so.
Trust. Is, yeah, you're working your
way there. Yeah, right.
Right, so Ellen runs out to like, get a notepad to like,
write all this down for the. Yeah, this is good stuff.
Yeah, So Delilah grabs a bat andCody's like, what are you doing?
And she's like, you cheated on me, you're a jerk, I hate you.
(39:25):
Starts to like a big fight. Oh right, right cuz Ellen
brought down a bat and he was she was about to hit Cody and
that's when Delilah went into the hole like I love do you
think she puts down the bats andthen when she comes back Delilah
grabs the bats and is acting like she's about to hit Cody
(39:45):
like you cheated on me. Does this whole thing and when
she goes to swing it at Cody swings full 360 hits Ellen in
the head the bats. Full 3. 60.
Yeah, which is how I would swinga bat and she.
Yeah, just all the way around, like a little tornado.
(40:07):
That's what they call it. They they run out.
Here comes the little tornado. Yeah, they they run out.
They avoid the booby trap this time because Delilah remembered.
And yeah, they're running down the driveway to get more cell
service. It's broad daylight in the
middle of the day, and Cody's like, oh, I'll get good cell
service. You know, like I had when your
(40:31):
car got vandalized or he somehowbrings up the car.
Vandalization I I don't rememberwhy it happened, but it.
Was very. Random he brings up the fact
that her tires were slashed, which was something that she did
not tell him. So she's like, how do you know
that my tiles tires were slashed?
(40:52):
And he's like, oh, the the police must have told me.
The police give out that information.
But she was a bit suspicious that it maybe wasn't a crazed
fan that was throwing stuff through her window and slashing
her tires, but it was him tryingto force her.
What A twist to. Taking the gig I.
Didn't see it coming. I didn't see it coming either.
(41:14):
Man, no. And also don't forget they're
running away from Ellen, who is chasing them at this point with
a gun now. Yeah, let's.
Say really quickly one one thingthat we left out was like,
Delilah's talking to Ellen and somehow it comes up about the
rock being thrown through the window and the tire's being
slashed and Ellen's like, I would never do that to you.
(41:34):
Never. And so you know they.
Prioritize your they. Plant the seed there that it
wasn't like you assume that Ellen did everything.
At that point then you would know that it's got to be Cody
code first. But she's also, like, Ellen's
kind of like, who knows if she'stelling the truth.
Yeah, basically. Yeah, all right.
Weird line to drive. I thought that it was her mom.
I thought that if somebody else had done it in his mind.
(41:57):
OK. They give you a viable other
candidate. Yeah.
It did. It seemed like the mom did it
and that that was legit. I forgot about the whole
vandalizing thing. So when it came back, I was
like, oh wow, OK, great. But Cody can't even like,
explain himself. He gets run over by a car.
The car suddenly is working again.
Ellen like hits him with the carand then she the car like flips
into a ditch. She comes out full throttle with
(42:19):
with a gun and this is when we get our gun moments in a
Lifetime movie. Usually we don't see them go
off, but this one went off. Oh yeah, we did.
Some CGI sparks. Yeah, it's CGI is being kind.
Brandon, show me this. I show a clip and it is an
absolute marvel that this made it to a screen anywhere.
(42:40):
Yeah, I'll. Try to remember to post it to
like our stories or something. We could have made that at this
studio in under 3 minutes. It is like a clip art little
fire. It's crazy from the gun.
It's a very me gun, that Wiley coyote.
Would use, yeah. Just do the sound, like if you
do the bang sound we'll know it's gunshot.
You don't CGI. Smoke out there even that you
(43:00):
don't have to do the little firelike we we.
Don't. Yeah.
We don't need to. We don't need to see it.
And, you know, lifetime has moved away from guns.
So, you know, I think this is just more reason to like, let's
just, let's just do knives and fire pokers.
Yes. You know, yeah.
Some fire poker. We can get mad at that, you
know. Right.
So Ellen is eventually talked down.
(43:24):
She's like, I'm so sorry that I did all this.
Like I just went, I'm just your biggest fan or whatever.
And I was like hugging her, like, it's OK, it's OK.
And the police show up, and we fade.
Right. Yeah, I don't really know.
Let's do some Shakespeare. Well, hold on.
I was a little bit confused as to how the police show up
(43:45):
Patrick 'cause he like when they're running, when they're
running away, he's like, let me call the police, but they don't
have cell signal yet. And we never see him being like,
we need the police. I don't really know how they
show up, but they do and. They show up pretty quickly.
Yeah. Good timing.
And Alan admits that her parentsaren't actually on a vacation.
She killed them. Yeah, she killed them.
(44:08):
And, you know, did the whole house thing and.
And. Yeah.
Wow. So it's not great for Ellen.
Not for Ellen, this is. The last she had never throw a
rock through a window, but she did kill her parents.
Yes. What happens?
What happens to Ellen? You know, what's her jail time?
All that stuff we don't know. We don't know forever.
We don't know the last we see she's on the ground and that's
(44:29):
that's all you need to know about.
We got to go to Shakespeare. We got to get to Shakespeare.
Yes. We cut to five weeks later.
Delilah is at her high school, we assume, and her mother is
there. And she's like, thanks mom, for
coming. This means a lot to me.
The kids are so happy that you're here and I'm happy you're
here. And let's work on our
(44:50):
relationship. And then she walks to the front
of the stage and we get our iconic line and.
And that is the movie. We don't.
Is she there to play? She's a teacher.
Oh, she's now teaching high school.
She's at her alma mater. Yes.
OK, let's do some Shakespeare roll credits.
That is why. But she's there.
(45:12):
Her her mom shows up to see the kids perform.
I don't really, I don't know what she means when she says
who's right, like. Let's do some.
Shakespeare, but yeah, she doesn't.
I would assume they're doing monologues.
Maybe it's. Like not let's do some
Shakespeare, let's go. And, and that's worthy of
applause. Listen, sometimes your teacher's
mom shows up and sits in the crowd while you do your
(45:33):
monologue. And that's fine.
That's normal. They're working on their
relationship. That's right.
And that's good. Yeah.
We love that. She's also, like, really chill
about her mom showing up. She's like, oh, hey, mom.
And her mom's like, I want to work on our relationship.
She's like great, but like, I don't think you earned that.
I don't think you put. No, she she definitely didn't
after the altercation with the car and like, you know, the
(45:55):
whole childhood stage mom. That whole like argument where
her mom's basically like I did, like her mom had never
throughout the movie ever took time to realize that what she
did was wrong and the way that she pushed her child.
And she says it multiple times, like I I was doing this for your
own good. So I don't know what happens in
the five weeks between the gunshot boom and Mom showing up
(46:19):
to see Shakespeare woo, but something must happen because
they're very, you know, they're.Some group therapy, some group.
There, she's so true about it. So there you go.
Yes. So on the show we report up,
which means we would recommend yay or put a court in it.
We would not recommend. We'll start with Dan, since you
did not see the movie based on your imagination, what you what
(46:41):
are you going to do to this movie?
Guys, I got to be honest, this sounds like a great time.
I I don't know what to tell you.This movie sounds like it's
ridiculous. It sounds like it makes very
little narrative sense in moments.
The knowing the gunshot scene does aid me here in knowing that
this is probably my kind of crazy, the type of movie that I
(47:02):
would enjoy, even though it's very, very bad.
I think I'm here for it. I think I'm here for this movie
and I think I wish I'd watched it, which I don't say regularly
here on Deck the Lifetime in Cork, but I do say it today,
pouring it all the way up Bran. Bran, what are you thinking?
Listen, I'm I'm in a very good mood because I get to watch a
(47:23):
Lifetime movie, which I only getto do about once a month.
And so I'm already like going into it hopeful, knowing that
this is the this is my one listen for as bad as the gunshot
was, this movie is good. It is a ton of fun.
And I thought that the I thoughtthe actor playing Delilah was
really great. And I thought that the actor
(47:45):
playing Ellen, like I I told like I thought that she did a
really good job of doing the thing early on where she acts
like she doesn't know that she is Chelsea.
Like for a second I was like, I'm not totally I think that
she's going to be the big fan, but she's doing a really good
job. And then she did a good job
(48:07):
playing crazy. And So what more can you ask for
in this type of movie? And then the twist at the end
where it was, it was Cody that did the actual vandalism across
the board. Really good time.
One of one of my favorites that I've seen for this year program.
I had a lot of. Fun.
Is it 3 for three, Patrick? Yeah, so just one note about the
(48:28):
actress playing the Beverly Mitchell knock off, Lauren Cole
had real tears coming out of hereyes.
Like you could see them come like dripping from her eyes.
So that's some real good acting there.
And it is hard to play a a crazycharacter without going like
over the top. So I thought that was cool.
I like that the movie worked on like so many different levels,
like of like we're commenting onHollywood, but not in like a, a
(48:51):
cheesy lifetime way, like on an insider way, 'cause I think
Haley Duff has a lot of insider like, you know, knowledge and
experience. So it was interesting in that
way and then just interesting inlike a lifetime way.
And yeah, the actors were all super solid.
I loved that. And I had a thought, but I
(49:12):
forgot what it was. But that's fine.
We'll just, we'll just say it's pour it up, Pour it up.
I remembered, I remembered. So we were going to the, the,
the fans of this show were like,you got to do Honey Boo Boo.
You got to do Honey Boo Boo. I'm glad that we actually switch
(49:33):
it up because I think Honey Boo Boo is going to be a flat movie
and this movie was definitely worth worth a.
Honey Boo Boo is getting. It's a movie about Honey Boo
Boo. Really.
Yeah, but it comes out later. This Honey Boo Boo is is getting
movie with Honey Boo Boo involved.
Honey Boo Boo is involved in the.
How many times do we say it? I'm not.
Saying that, we're not going to do Honey Boo Boo, but I'll let.
(49:53):
You. Be the deciding fact.
Like if we do 1 early next month.
Does it make sense? Maybe we Honey Boo Boo.
That's next month. That's April.
April showers bring May flowers.Oh, wait, no.
So today, today is May 5th, we're recording.
Oh, we already did April, so it would be.
May shower. May flowers bring June.
I don't know. I don't think we can do honey.
(50:15):
From next month is April. Yeah, that's not April.
I'm all over the. Place we're halfway to halfway
to Christmas. I'm not opposed to doing another
and doing Honey Boo Boo, though,because there's.
Let's see what's on the docket for June.
We'll see. We'll see.
It's my birthday month. We have to do something.
Birthday month. That's true.
Maybe for your I've, maybe for your birthday month we should
(50:36):
have you every every week. We've we've set a really weird
precedent with our Oliver Cohoesgetting to choose stuff on their
birthday. It started with Alonzo who
chooses a movie and now it's PatLike does every Co host now get
to choose something for us to doon deck the homework on their
birthday? We're big birthday people.
We're big birthday people. Yeah, I don't know.
Yeah. We love birthdays.
(50:57):
Well, this was a lot of fun. Lifetimerecord.com for all of
Patrick's thorough journalism onthe subject of lifetime
movement, he covers them all andhe's a real journalist.
There he is. I'm not so sure, but Patrick
absolutely electroniccourt.com We'll be back next time on
another one and tell them at thefirst to wish you a.
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(51:18):
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Hi, I'm Bran and I love Lifetimemovies.
Hi, I'm Patrick Toronto and I'm a Lifetime movie expert.
I'm Dana and I despise Lifetime movies, and this is the deck,
the Hallmark podcast deck the. Hallmark gets his podcast and.
Friends host this podcast. Yes, yes, back and better than
(00:37):
ever, yeah. Patrick's back.
It's always very exciting. The people, the people, the
people love you. That's so nice, I love them too.
Great, all of them. Well, there's probably one
that's my enemy, but but we'll, we'll figure.
It out the friend of your friendof mine.
The you're my friend. They're my friends forever.
(01:00):
They could be my friend if you think about it that way.
Do you? Know this week we have 5 Deck
the homework hosts that each getone episode this week.
Isn't that fun? Look at us.
Five deck the homework hosts, and they all get one.
Five, Yeah. Alonzo, Patrick, Ryan, Jacks,
Bryan. Those are the five.
OK. And is this elimination style
whoever does the best? We are having a Saturday episode
(01:21):
where we eliminate one of the five and then every week we'll
do so until there's only one host to rule them all, and that
will be the host moving forward.For every day.
And I know that you know this, Patrick, but by eliminate we
mean kill. We, we do mean kill.
And that was you signed up for it.
You signed up for it. Yeah, I it was I I didn't read
the data the under what is it called?
The fine parent. I didn't read the fine parent.
(01:41):
To be honest as you're already struggling.
I was worried about the dotted lines.
We were. I was like jumping ahead, like
where's the dotted line part? Yeah, I know.
And we're. Gonna and then is it a is it an
on stage execution of Bramble Fest?
On stage execution tickets. Cool.
Take the homer.com/fest We wouldlove for you to join us this
July and. Brian, maybe fingers crossed,
Don't show up. That way July it really honest.
(02:06):
Obviously I think the stage was getting a little too full, so
this does make sense. July 18th, 19th, that part is
real. Brainwell Fest is really
happening. We're not July 8th, we're not
executing anyone yet. We'll see kind of how things.
We'll see. We'll see how.
We'll see how the week goes. I'm very excited about Brainwell
Fest. I'm always excited to get to
hang out with you, Patrick and I.
It can't come soon enough. Yeah, it's it's basically summer
(02:29):
camp. I love it.
It's blocked on my calendar. I'm I'm I'm there.
Well, I didn't. I haven't been invited yet but
but I'm I'm assuming I'm there. Get out of here.
Stop it. You're invited.
You have a perennial invitation to Bramble Fest.
You know that. That means you have to bring.
If only I knew. If only I knew what perennial
mean. Yeah, you got.
To bring your parents with you. Right, exactly.
(02:51):
My parents, they never age. They never age.
Have your parents listened to our show before?
Yeah, probably. You know, I think they were kind
of over it by the time like I jumped on with you guys and they
were like, OK, we did. They recorded a podcast with me
and after that they were like all.
Right, we've done the work. We understand.
We did the one we did recently get a review on Deck the
(03:13):
Hallmark Patrick from somebody who's a big fan of you and
Lifetime. Nice.
Less a. Fan less a fan of us, and that's
OK. Oh, so it was like Patrick
should take over and wasn't? That, but they they probably
wouldn't be upset. I think they said they found us
because of you and then our showisn't very good.
(03:35):
Yeah, that's basically the. Long and short of Fair.
Yeah, yeah. I get.
It yeah, I'm they're very different shows.
You guys have segments and I notably don't notably because
that's too much work. That's too much work.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Every, every time you do a
homework movie with us and you do the segments, you're like, I
just can't. It's too this.
Too. Yeah, I'm like too much
structure. Like yeah, wait, what?
(03:57):
Who? Wait who?
When? How?
How you basically, Yeah. Who's what?
For now, yeah. That's right.
For my I do, yeah. All right today we are covering
I am your biggest fan. I am your biggest fan very
excited. I've been a stalker movie, yes.
And what for those of you, maybethis is your first night to
(04:19):
lifetime on courts somehow. I don't know how you I don't
know how you just now found. This welcome, welcome.
Patrick, you and I have seen themovie, Dan has not seen the
movie. And we're going to explain the
movie, walk you through it, and at the end of it we get to
decide whether or not it was good or not.
That's exactly right. So thanks.
(04:40):
For doing that, it's not a, you know, a rating of quality.
It's you know what, what you pour it up.
Are you into it? It's not, it doesn't matter like
if you give it a 5 of 10 or an 8of 10.
It's just basically, would I watch it again?
Basically like, would I recommend this?
Would I? Is there anything I could say
that's like, no, this is worth it?
That's a port up. I put a cork in.
(05:01):
It's like, Nah, never, never again.
I'm done. Yeah, your time is valuable and
and we're here to we're here to help.
That's exactly right. So today's movie is I Am Your
Biggest Fan, which premiered this past Saturday on Lifetime.
So, Patrick, what else do we need to know before we dive in?
There's a lot. So the cast, of course, I'll
read through the names. They gave me a tricky one right
(05:23):
off the bat. Megan Carles Caraquillo.
Megan Caraquillo. Yeah.
Lauren. Lauren Cole and Colton Tap.
Colton Tap. And most notably, Colton.
Colton. Most notably directed by Hayley
(05:44):
Duff, lifetime queen Hilary Duff's older sister and a legend
in her own right, so. Hayley Duff I I I just want to
say now, is this, this is not her first Lifetime movie she's
directed, correct? Right.
It's not her first, but she usedto be prolifically on these,
like in the early 2000s or mid 2000s.
I don't know how how this is, but apparently like this is kind
(06:08):
of like what she's doing now. She's like directing these
movies. I heard from, I was talking to a
buddy who is in the industry, and I told him that I watched
this movie and that Haley Duff directed it.
And he was like, Oh yeah, she's directing a ton of these.
Like he just got a whole whole bucket full of them so.
Whole bucket full. Oh yeah.
(06:29):
Good, good, good. Much like Fran Drescher, she has
style, she has class. She was there.
That's how she became the director.
Well, that's the whole thing. Yeah, that's the whole ball
game. Exactly and.
And no, no Haley Duff in this movie though.
She's just strangely. Behind the camera.
She's a Rio director. She doesn't need.
She's not Alfred Hitchcock, OK? She doesn't need to make a
cameo. She's not M Night.
(06:51):
I'm a long. I'm a long.
There it is. Yeah.
I'm sorry. She's.
Not yeah, she's like, I was notorious for doing that.
Yeah, that's right. I've done my time in front of
the camera. I'm I'm here to go deep into the
psyche of I only want to work onprojects that mean a lot to me.
And this one clearly worked for her on so many levels.
You'll see, Dan, you'll see. I'm I'm excited to, I mean,
(07:12):
clearly you guys are kind of giving it away here that it's,
it's a, it's a good one, it's a winner.
So. We it could be so bad, it could
be so bad. It's good all right.
We'll see. Don't act.
Like, you know. Yes, but I want to start off.
I don't usually do this. I I I brought a clip and I want
right off the bat, we're going to start at the end.
(07:32):
I do want to. I have a new mic, everyone, it's
pink. I want to see what you think
about the. We're going to start at the end.
And then Dan, how we got there, You know what I mean?
Yeah, exactly. All right, So let me make sure
my sound is on. OK, great all.
(07:53):
Right. Who's ready to do some
Shakespeare? OK, that's the end of the movie.
That's literally the last line of the movie.
Brother, I ought to be honest with you could not believe it
when they cheered. Who's going to do some
Shakespeare? Followed by a thunderous
applause. So she's directing a play.
(08:14):
Well, we'll get there. It it all, it all will make
sense to you. But I just want you to know that
that was the probably the one ofthe best.
And you know, when you you in the Lifetime movie, you have all
the terrible things happen and then you cut to like 5 weeks
later and that was it. That was it.
I I did laugh out loud at the the cheering of that, yes.
(08:36):
Y'all ready for some Shakespearewoo?
Who's ready to do Shakespeare? We love you.
Billy that no one. I.
Know OK, the movie actually starts what we're like in a in a
flashback. I'm trying to set the era they
have like ATV that's not a flat screen, so that era.
Square right. Big 24322 Exactly right.
(09:00):
Yeah, there is a young child of maybe 10 years old sitting in
front of the TV, very close and kind of watching the sitcom.
And the sitcom is called From the Heart, and it's giving like
full house, kind of. Mini.
Boy Meets World like that time but wholesome like family show.
(09:24):
Yeah, family having fun in the living room.
Full audience. Multicam.
That's right. Yep.
And you know, she's got that volume turned up real loud
because her parents are fightingin the background and the voice
over of the fighting is just themost wild.
Like they had me record the voice over, you know, like in
(09:46):
post. And they're like, Patrick, can
you just send in some clips? And I'm like.
Don't tell me what to do. And you're like.
What? I'm over here.
I'm over here doing my thing. You know, like that.
All of your voice work is very Southern, Patrick, you're not
over there, but all of your voice work is very much don't
tell me what to do. I'm over here like it's all like
(10:07):
you went, you dropped in the Southern.
It's just fascinating. I've been watching a lot of
Bette Davis lately so she's rubbing off.
It's what the role called for, Dan.
Yeah, of course those. Two, it is.
Yes, it is. Both of them.
Of course, but yeah, the, the fighting was a little unhinged
'cause it was just like not really fighting, just people
shouting. We flashed at present day we're
(10:29):
in, we're in LA, we see all likethe interstates connecting and
everything. And we've learned that the TV
show, the one, the one called that I'm never going to remember
from the heart, From the Heart is rumored to be getting a
reboot because it went so pickedup on streaming and it's now
very popular. So that whole kind of trend.
And they keep saying, they keep saying streaming.
(10:51):
They know. Streaming.
They know. Lifetime knows this show on the
streaming. This show took off on streaming,
and the reboot would also be forstreaming.
Yeah, right. Don't ask the streamer.
Doesn't like the Fuller House? Yeah, for streaming, yeah.
Fuller House, great example. There's so many examples of
this. The one with Meghan Markle, I
don't. I never watched that show, but
(11:13):
Meghan Markle was in it. And but yeah, Haley Duff knows
all about this because Haley Duff, her sister was Lizzie
McGuire. And they tried to reboot that.
And then Lizzie McGuire couldn'thave sex.
And Haley, Haley Duff was like, sis, you got to drop the show.
You got to get out of this contract.
And she said, well, I didn't sign on the dotted line.
What just happened? Well, you know.
(11:34):
Couldn't have sex, what are you talking about?
Aaron know that. Aaron, hold on, Aaron.
Aaron, give Dan the down low here because this is very
important. I don't know any like I.
So let's start with the basics, Dan.
You remember there was a show, Lizzie McGuire, that you've
never seen. Yeah, yeah.
Sure. A couple years ago they were
(11:55):
going to reboot it with a 30 year old Lizzie and all the
original cast had like signed back on.
We were going to pick up. You know, that's exciting for
all you, Lizzie. It was.
Very exciting. And this was right when Disney
Plus launched, and it was one ofthe this is what's coming.
It was a big part of that lot offan, you know, excitement.
That's why we signed up for the promise of Liz.
(12:18):
Of Liz McGuire. That's why we're here.
I've they've either filmed an episode, they've at least
they've at least written the first two episodes and then
Disney had a huge issue because Hillary and I'm blanking on the
creator's name, but they were very adamant that the show pick
(12:39):
up with Lizzie being 30 and it being written for an.
Audience. Well, she's 30, yes.
Yes, but it but it's not like when they rebooted, you know,
Girl Meets World. That was a show not for the fans
of Boy Meets World, correct. That was a show for current, you
know, 12 year. Olds.
So what? Did Disney think that they were
(13:00):
going to be 30 year olds acting like 12 year olds?
Yep. And so like.
Maybe. Maybe that what they wanted was
the same thing as Girl Meets World, where it's like Lizzie's
now a mom, but it's manly about the kids.
OK, that makes sense. Whereas the show was originally
like pitched with the idea of this is a like Lizzie's the main
character and then. And she should be.
(13:21):
Just wanted it to be more dumbeddown, you know?
And, and Lizzie thought that would and Hillary thought that
that wasn't fair. To the fans.
Lizzie, as we call her. And so Disney scrapped it.
They said we can't put content like that on Disney Plus, which
is really funny. Because it's hilarious.
Now Deadpool versus Wolverine ison Deadpool.
Versus Wolverine on Disney Plus.But how dare Lizzie be a single
(13:44):
woman in New York City in her 30s going on dates?
And that's how she met your father.
Yeah, which is a show I used as my replacement, Lizzie McGuire.
Then they cancelled that too. I'm sorry for.
You. Yeah.
I'm sad. I'm just real sad.
I hate it here. I'm still holding out hope.
Interesting. That they, that they'll.
Shocking for me, brain. Still holding out hope so.
That's where we're at big of true.
(14:06):
I'm upset I I was already havinga rough Monday, much like Dan,
and this is making it worse. So I hope this movie is funny
and can lift my spirits all. Right back to you, Patrick.
I'm sorry, Lizzie McGuire can't.Have.
Well, no, it's. It's great, is on Disney Plus
and I can't get a Lizzie McGuirereboot.
Well, you're right. You're right.
And, well, and then they're going to be.
(14:26):
Kids. They're rebooting Nik Tuck too I
mean this is just a continual thing like the IP renewal.
So this movie is very on on topic on current trends.
You know what I'm saying? Yes.
So we everybody's on board for the reboot.
Everybody's on board all the actors except for the the one
(14:47):
star, the Lizzie McGuire, if youwould, if you were to compare
it, her name is Delilah. She's now a high.
School. Sorry, go ahead.
Patrick whenever. You're ready, right?
Right. She's a high school teacher.
She teaches theater. And all the kids are like, oh,
you were on a show when you werelike a kid That's so funny.
(15:07):
And you're such a loser for doing that.
They're like not impressed at all.
And there's another guy, her Co star, her like little love
interest on the show. His name's Cody and he's out
there like struggling actor doing auditions for like foot
fungal commercials and stuff. Like it's not going well for
(15:28):
him, right? Right, right.
And he goes in the audition roomand he crunches it, of course.
But all of all the casting director really wants to talk
about is, hey, I hear the show might be getting rebooted.
He's just trying to make a name for himself.
All he gets to hear about is CCBand Fuller House.
That's exactly right, yeah. I got it.
Yeah. And, and everybody's trying to
get Delilah to get on board. Like the producer calls and
(15:49):
she's like, not interested. I give you my blessing and,
like, recast me. I don't care.
Cody calls and he's like, please, like, I need a job.
I'm trying to be an actor, and this would really help me out.
And she's like, I've. It's really traumatic for me.
I have a lot of bad memories from the show and on the set and
it just is not. I'm not, I'm not feeling it.
Right. And and Dan, we do, you know,
(16:11):
you might be wondering what likewhat's the deal?
Why was this so traumatic? What's the deal?
That's exactly right, We do get a flashback of her.
Doing Shakespeare. Not doing Shakespeare, she's
doing All My Heart or whatever the show is called.
From the heart. From the heart.
Oh, my heart's Brendan. Brendan Elliott.
OK, great. And she forgets a line.
(16:34):
Oh, no. And her TV dad is like, he
throws up his arms, like, what the heck?
And then he go, She goes and she's pulled aside from her mom,
who is like on set. And she's just like, I don't
care what's going on in your life.
I don't care. You got to get this.
You got to do this. There's no time for to be tired,
(16:55):
but you got to be a professional.
And so her mom is like really like trying to get her to do
this stuff. And so like this, the traumatic
experience is like, this wasn't fun for me.
This wasn't a fun thing. And my mom was really mean to
me. And that's why she doesn't want
to do this, because it's traumatic.
Sounds like some actual Disney child stores.
Yeah, right. I'm sure.
Exactly. It was very much giving that.
And I brought a clip of this specifically because Dan, I want
(17:18):
you to listen to the the lane ornot the language.
The dialogue in the actual show is just wild.
OK. Are you ready?
I'm ready. And you're using the heck out of
this new microphone. Today, there you are here.
It comes. Oh, here it comes.
Oh, OK. Oh God I'm so bad at this.
OK, here it comes. File it on TV slash TTA.
(17:38):
I love that I've always like I Patrick no like Patrick has sent
me clips before to play and today he's like I don't want.
This I'm not doing. This new mic.
I didn't, I didn't. I was like, I could do it
myself. I don't need, I don't need high
tech, OK, the whole school. Everyone left him Dad.
What do you mean everybody laughed at you?
(17:58):
I'm the only one who can laugh at you.
What? I'm the only one that can laugh
at you? That is so rude.
That is not funny. That is so rude.
Rude. How so rude?
Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, you're right. I didn't even think of that.
How rude it's how rude it's. How rude.
It's how rude. But yeah, I was like, man, this
(18:19):
writing is terrible and they're just so mean to this poor child
for no reason. Raven, how rude.
Yeah, and then like he's not nice to her either, as on set,
like he was so like mad that sheforgot the line.
It was a very sad. Yeah, You know, they're just
tapping into, well, I can't say who, but we know.
We all know who that was supposed to be.
(18:39):
We all know. We do.
He has great hair. Oh, John Stamos.
I didn't say it. I didn't say it.
Allegedly. Allegedly.
John Stamos was mean on set. Full House?
Of course no. No, guys, I have.
I have no idea. Oh my gosh dude, you're going to
(19:00):
get a sued. I got to be honest.
John Stevenson. If you're, if you're listening
because you, you know, thought that you might want to do a
lawsuit, I want to let you know that I just watched your Drummio
video of you. He's a drummer.
I don't know if you know this. About I did not know this.
He's a drummer and he really does play with The Beach Boys
occasionally and like, do these things I've.
(19:21):
Heard this from you maybe? There's a, a, a YouTube channel
called Drummio where they bring in drummers to play the songs
that they've never heard before without the drum tracks.
So they listen to the song, they've never heard the song
before, and then they put their own drums behind it.
And so OK. And he did it with the Papa
Roach song Cut my life into. And he was great.
(19:42):
He'd never heard that song before, and he crushed it.
So John, you crushed it. Shout out John.
Stamos well, that's incredible. And you know, no shade to John
Stamos. I've actually heard he's pretty
nice. So just want to, you know, I was
there real quick. Yeah.
So you know. That was the monster.
That's right. I'm just kidding.
No, just kidding. You know who's not nice?
(20:04):
Delilah fans. They're all mad.
They are all sending me messages.
They're sending. They're like throwing rocks to
her window with like, backed outeyes, you know, vandalizing her
car, all sorts of terrible. Things were you confused,
Patrick at all? When the the news breaks that
she's not going to do the show or whatever and she opens up her
phone and she's like flooded with a bunch of messages.
(20:27):
I was like, I was like, are these like her friends and
family that are texting her these things?
Like I didn't know where these messages were coming from.
I think they were coming from her social media.
Right, like messages. And my yeah, so, but I wrote
some of them down and my favorite, my favorite was
Delilah, the downer dot dot dot.What else do I have?
(20:53):
She used to be my favorite part of the show.
OK. I like, I like the person that
said boom, that's all. Wow.
Oh that's good. Just came here to say my that's
all. Yeah, my year equal, equal sign
ruined. My year, What is?
You know these? What's?
(21:13):
I'm gagged. I'm gagged, like I'm dead.
Like like this is so shocking. Oh, she must want to stay in her
flop era. That was pretty good.
That's. But yeah, things start getting
really serious really fast. Rock thrown through her window.
Car vandalized deck. The Hallmark going to break.
(21:34):
Wow, all that stuff's. Happening.
All that stuff's happening. Should we figure it out after
the break? I think so.
I think we have to 'cause it's it's.
That's one of the things we'll be right back and everything
deck the. Hallmark lifetime on quotes the.
Most good guy. Back, everybody.
Things are getting serious. Delilah's having a tough time
(21:55):
and she's not feeling safe at her house.
What is she to do? Well, she calls the cops, which
is, which is what you're not supposed to do in a Lifetime
movie because the Lifetime cops are never going to care about
your problems. They're just going to say you're
famous, you deserve this type ofattention.
And she's like, what? They're like, get a security
camera. Like we don't know what to tell
you. Like get a life, do the reboot.
(22:16):
We're out of here. They're the the meanest.
They are the meanest cops I've seen in a Lifetime movie in a
while. Wow.
Yeah, they are very, everybody'svery pushy towards her doing
this reboot, even people that shouldn't have any opinion on
the matter. Right.
So she's like not feeling safe in her home.
She goes to the coffee shop where she grades her papers for
school. As you know, Dan, you were a
(22:38):
principal and that's where you go to do work.
You go to the coffee shop and there's this.
You don't have a ball there. Right, yeah, I know there's a a
barista there. She's got little like Princess
Leia ears. Is that what those are called?
Or little Minnie Mouse ears. But it's her hair, and she has
bangs and she's got a lot of hair going on.
(23:01):
Oh, the Cinnabuns. Yeah, like the Cinnabuns.
But if you moved them up. Here's a picture.
Space buns, is that what they'recalled?
Yes, Sir. Got it.
Space buns. Yeah.
And she is giving like, young, cool, young, cool barista.
She's very sweet and nice. She's very nice.
Right, Right. She's very nice and, and I was,
(23:23):
I was a bit like unsure because part of me was like, she's
definitely the one who's the bigfan, but also she was very
convincing that she was very nice.
She was convincingly nice. So it starts, yeah, there's no
shadiness and. She does the thing and she does
the thing where it's like, you know, everybody wants me to like
(23:46):
I I did the show as a kid. She's like, ohh, really like
what show? Like, plays it off like she's,
yeah, didn't know who she was and didn't know that about this
reboot. She's very surprised by all of.
It and just plays it off. Just plays it off all.
Right. Yeah, it's really good advice
for when you meet famous people.You have to act very nonchalant
about it, like I did with MarcusRosner.
(24:08):
And Andrew Walker. That's still.
And and actually Andrew Walker, I actually did a good job, but
Marcus Rosner, I I said, Hey, can I be like thirsty the whole
weekend over to you as like a bit.
I mean, I am thirsty over you, but are you cool with?
Me. Well, you forgot to share that
with you. But he's never coming back.
Oh, he's never coming back. OK.
(24:28):
Well, OK. Well, we'll we'll get the next
one. You filed A restraining order,
but it was in Canada and those the translation there.
I think you're good, Patrick. I think you're good here in the
sense, yeah. Oh, great, great.
But no, she's she's like very, very cool.
She reminds me a lot of Beverly Mitchell.
You've ever seen Beverly Mitchell do acting?
Talk about 7th heaven. Yeah, the the sister who's like
(24:53):
playing young, but she's like the oldest person in the cast.
Oh. Boy, Yeah, yeah, I know what
you're talking about. So yeah, that's kind of the vibe
I was getting from her. Delilah offers or Delilah agrees
to move in with this barista girl.
Her name's Ellen. Then they live above the coffee
shop, so it's not far to go. And she has a really nice night,
(25:13):
like they have breakfast in the morning and like have girl talk
and like they seem like, you know, roommates having having a
nice time. Nothing weird, no weird lifetime
music or like a a weird stare ora weird like touch.
Nothing like that. Nothing.
No, nothing at all. No problems.
Clearly. Great.
(25:33):
No problems. The end.
Real friends. Bye.
Let's. Do some Shakespeare.
Let's do some Shakespeare. Yeah, But the mother, Delilah's
mother shows up, and she's like,hey, why are you not doing this?
Reboot, Reboot. You're so ungrateful.
You need to get your life together.
And you should be happy that these people care about you at
(25:56):
all. And Delilah's like, this is not
cool. You're the one who's stalking
me. I'm out of here.
She goes. That's right.
She thinks sounds. Her mom that did all this stuff.
Right, because that's. You know, part and parcel with
what? Mom.
Yeah, Mom. Mom's mean to me then.
Mom's mean to me now. Mom's mean to me forever.
(26:17):
Right. So she's trying to get out of
town to get away from her mother's stalking her.
And Ellen's like my parents havea house.
I'm house sitting. It's in the middle of like
nowhere. But it'll be a good break from
all this drama. And I was like, this sounds
great. To which I'm just been like, Oh,
well, if you're going to be goneat your parents house, what can
(26:37):
I just stay at your apartment? You're right.
But she doesn't do much better. Solution.
She doesn't do that. She's like, yeah, I'll come with
you to your parents house. Yeah, where there's no cell
service, no Wi-Fi, no nothing. The the dryer breaks and then
Ellen's, like, here, wear this. It's an exact replica of the
costume she wore in the show. Yeah.
(26:59):
Which I thought was hilarious. She's like, oh, I, I, you know,
this is my parents place so I don't really like, I only have
stuff that I had when I was likein like when I was a kid or
whatever. And then it is an exact replica
and Delilah's like, oh, this does kind of look like something
that I would have worn. That's crazy.
That's so weird. She goes to look for like a
(27:22):
sweater because she's cold or something.
And this is when she's she realizes she's in trouble.
She finds a closet full of like little notebooks about her
character. Her character's name is Chelsea.
And then you see Ellen kind of come up behind her and she's
like, you shouldn't be snipping through people's things.
Oh my gosh. And.
Then Chelsea and then puts a needle in her neck and she
(27:44):
collapses. Oh, I love a good needle in the
neck. And she's like, you're you're
not going anywhere. You're not going.
Anywhere Have you seen Dexter Patrick?
Dexter to Haven't seen it. I haven't seen.
It there's a lot, there's a lot of needles to necks in in
Dexter. I think you'd really enjoy
yourself if that's a thing for you.
Yeah, yeah. Great.
(28:04):
I will check it out. Really quick, Dexter, like you
had seen it and then immediatelyto Dexter haven't seen it.
No, I haven't. I wouldn't dare haven't.
I will say really quickly, Patrick, one thing before the
closet incident is she's like, oh, I'm going to drive into
town, come with me and you can check your e-mail or whatever.
The car doesn't start and Delilah starts to be like, this
(28:28):
is a little bit weird. And so she goes inside to grab
something and then watches. What is it, Ella?
Is that the girl's name? Watches Ellen.
Ellen like, just like kind of look at the car and I think she
has like a shovel in her hand. And that's when Delilah's like,
I think something might be goingon.
So she does go into her room andthe closet and like she says
(28:53):
it's 'cause she's cold. But I think that she really was
just like beginning to realize maybe she's up to something.
And so she was doing a bit of Snoop, Snoop Dogg.
Something's not right, so Jalilawakes up.
She's fully in a replica of her set, the living room set.
Yes, she's made the basement of her parents house a replica.
(29:16):
Oh my gosh, living room set. That's awesome.
Yeah, it is pretty cool. You're right.
Right. She did a good job.
Ellen did a good job. Yeah, and Ellen is?
Having a replica Having a replica of your favorite
childhood TV show is only weird if you drug the the TV star and
(29:38):
chain them and put them in. I think it's weird regardless,
but I do think it's also very impressive.
You think it's weird to like be that big of a fan?
Just be like I'm going to have aA.
Place where we grow a pretty bigfan of stuff like that.
Ryan Popola. Can you imagine him having a
Mighty Morphin Power Rangers like the set deck?
Yeah, no, yeah, no. Maybe, maybe I up that room with
(30:04):
the big head, that guy with the big.
Head. It'd be super.
Cool, the room Patrick's talkingabout.
If you walked into his basement.And it was set up like, yeah,
it'd be awesome. It's the equivalent of me having
a Christmas tree up all year. I'm a big Christmas fan and.
It makes me the equivalent of that.
Yeah, I'm a big Christmas fan and like a Christmas.
Tree, something you put up everyyear.
The other one is something you do if you want to wear someone's
(30:26):
skin. You don't think that's not the
no? I think it's only weird if she
kidnaps the lead, which she does.
She does, so it does get a. Little and she she from this
point on, she only refers to heras Chelsea, the character, and
she's she's remember when in theshow when you did this and
you're, you know, like she's just keeps referencing plot
(30:46):
lines to Delilah and Delilah's like I don't remember anything
about the show, but she realizesthe the only way out is through.
She's got to commit to the bit and be Chelsea or Ellen is going
to kill her. Right.
It's very, it's very serious stuff.
And she like begins to go a lot like she acknowledges that she
(31:08):
is Chelsea. They talk, they talk about her
boyfriend from the TV show as ifit's real, you know, does a
little gossip sesh like. Gossip sesh.
It's. It's very so she's trying to go
along with it just to so that Ellen's guard will go down and
then maybe she can make a move. Yeah, she tries to escape.
(31:28):
She's like chained to something,like she has like chains on her
ankles and then she tries to escape.
It doesn't really go well because the house is booby
trapped. Like home alone, like marbles.
And one specific booby trap, which is she gets out of the
basement and she runs as fast asshe can through the kitchen to
(31:50):
the door. And in the kitchen is a like a,
a, a rope, like a little fishingline to trip her.
And then on the floor is just broken glass.
So like as far as no way to get around that if you're going to
have one singular home alone trap, I guess that's a good one
because it works and she gets all bloody.
And but the thing that I thoughtwas funny, Patrick, and I don't
(32:13):
know if you picked up on this, but she gets to the back door,
right? She crawls through the glass in
the most inconvenient way possible, gets to the door and
the door is locked from the outside.
But the thing about this door isthat there's a big old glass
window in the middle of the door.
So like, while you're already bloodied from the glass, what's
(32:36):
some more, right? Like just punch through it and
unlock the door, right? Did you think about that at all?
No, I don't punch. I don't punch, so I wouldn't go
there. Punch that was silly.
That was that was a dumb question.
I apologize. That was a dumb question.
I I I I'm not trying to say thisthat you would.
I'm just saying that if if you, you know, are already bloodied
(32:57):
from glass, what's some more glass on your arm is all I'm
saying, you know? Right.
I get it. I mean, but for me personally,
if I was, you know, trapped in aLifetime movie, I I wouldn't
really be getting out. I'd have to have someone come
save me. That's just how.
I thought she was going to try to run through it like she
literally just like kind of getsup against the wall and is like,
and I thought she was going. To try Patrick if you got
(33:17):
kidnapped by somebody and you showed up and they had set up
your normal. If you ever watch on follow
follow the TV show Cth, your normal setup for Dick the
lifetime on with your old mic that hangs down and then the
posters in the background. If they had a corner of a
basement set up like that and they wanted you to sit over
there and just talk into the micall the time, how quickly into
(33:38):
that would you be? Like, all right, whatever I got
to, I just got to freaking do this.
Oh yeah, I would do it. I'd be like, when is my meal
breaks? Like where's the bathroom?
Let's just do it. You be in immediately.
Somebody will find me eventually.
It'll be fine. Patrick's.
Just happy that somebody likes his work.
He's like. Oh, exactly.
I'm like, oh, you're a fan. Yeah.
Oh, great, you're a fan. Wonderful.
(34:00):
That's right. Yeah.
There's no misery moment for me.I'm.
I'm just going to be like, yeah,I'll, I'll break my legs.
All right, you're. Playing you know about Patrick
because he's he doesn't punch. He doesn't punch.
You don't have anything to worryabout.
He's. Not going to.
He just put that out. There, he doesn't punch.
He doesn't punch. Yes, no.
So Ellen handcuffs Delilah for leaving and she's like, you're
going to have to could be betterbehaved and maybe you'll get
(34:20):
these handcuffs off and Delilah's like this.
It didn't go well. I should have just played along,
which is what she does from now on.
We cut to Cody, the guy who was in those foot fungus commercials
and and needing a role. He is suddenly very concerned
about Delilah. The police aren't concerned.
He tries to talk to them and they're they're basically like,
(34:41):
get out of here. You're has been an actor and a
loser and we're not really concerned.
You believe this guy? Take care of his fellow citizen
and human being. Well, they they get in in the
police's defense here, which I'mnot prone to defend, but they do
catch him snooping around her house and looking through her
windows. All right, there it is.
So. Now he's doing that because he
(35:04):
hasn't heard from her in a long time.
Knocks on the door. No one answers.
Yeah. And so that's when they, they
catch him. So she he decides I'm going to
do my own investigation. And he knows that.
His old pal Delilah Ella loves this local coffee shop.
So he goes to the coffee shop and Ellen is barista.
(35:25):
And he's like, hey, do you know this person?
She says no. And there's another worker there
that is immediately a bit suspicious about what just
happened. And why is that, Patrick?
Well, he, Ellen was kind of obsessed with him and made like
a fake relationship in her head about them.
(35:46):
And she's like, oh, my boyfriend, my boyfriend kind of
like me with Marcus Rosner. And then and then the guy is
like, I overheard the conversation.
Hey, I just want to let you knowthat Ellen's a little off.
There's something not right about her and that person that
you were talking about, the actress, she comes in here all
the time and they're friends. So you should look into Ellen
(36:09):
and or follow her or whatever, which is what Cody does.
Cody follows Ellen home from work.
He's. So bad at following people in a
car, like he couldn't be worse at it.
He's fought like it's night time.
He's following way too close andshe lives out in like the
country and her driveway is likea road.
(36:30):
You know what I'm talking about?Like where driveway gets its own
Rd. It's so long and he pulls in
right behind her, headlights on.Just very very bad at following.
Yes, 100%. Right, He's only played a
detective on TV. He doesn't know how.
To do it. And he looks in the basement
(36:51):
window, he sees them like eatinghamburgers cuz Alan brought
hamburgers from work or something.
And he's like, I think Delilah and Alan are just hanging out
eating hamburgers. They're cool just eating
burgers. But yeah, Alan goes away
somewhere and then Delilah's like, help me, help me Get Me
Out of here. And before he can do anything,
he gets stuck in the neck with aDexter pin.
(37:12):
Yeah, which you've not seen, butfine.
Yeah. Dexter Pin.
Yeah. She has a lot of whatever the
drug is that is immediately knocking people out with when
giving via shot. She has a lot.
Of it, a lot of it, yeah. Ready to go of.
Course you do. And then he wakes up.
He's handcuffed now and she she is referring to him as his
(37:34):
character Brandon or something. I don't.
I didn't write it down. She's getting the whole Dang
together. Yeah.
And then it kind of, I don't know, Cody is Cody is his name,
but I think the character name, it doesn't matter.
The point is she wants him to act out his character with
Chelsea. And then they do like a fanfic
thing where they're like, look, we're we love each other so
(37:54):
much, we're going to get engaged.
And she's like, Oh my God, I can't believe this is finally
happening. I've dreamed of this.
Moment so far removed from Let'sdo some Shakespeare.
I can't even tell you how we're going to.
I'm so excited because I don't know how we get there from here.
I don't know how we get there from here, aside from acting.
Right, Yeah, I mean, acting's a big deal.
Big deal. So they're doing like this whole
(38:18):
they Speaking of acting, they are acting like the characters
now. Yeah.
Cody eventually catches on and. Yeah, Cody's confused at first
because Delilah's still going full.
I'm Chelsea bitch, basically. And he finally, partly because
she's like, I love you and I always thought we would end up
together. He's just kind of like, oh, OK,
(38:38):
well, I guess I'll go along withthat 'cause that's nice.
And she eventually, like, walks out of the room and that's when
she's like, we got to go along with this and just like, give
her what she wants. And so like they, he proposes to
her and they kiss and he is thentaken from full double handcuff
(39:01):
situation to single handcuff. Situation so.
Trust. Is, yeah, you're working your
way there. Yeah, right.
Right, so Ellen runs out to like, get a notepad to like,
write all this down for the. Yeah, this is good stuff.
Yeah, So Delilah grabs a bat andCody's like, what are you doing?
And she's like, you cheated on me, you're a jerk, I hate you.
(39:25):
Starts to like a big fight. Oh right, right cuz Ellen
brought down a bat and he was she was about to hit Cody and
that's when Delilah went into the hole like I love do you
think she puts down the bats andthen when she comes back Delilah
grabs the bats and is acting like she's about to hit Cody
(39:45):
like you cheated on me. Does this whole thing and when
she goes to swing it at Cody swings full 360 hits Ellen in
the head the bats. Full 3. 60.
Yeah, which is how I would swinga bat and she.
Yeah, just all the way around, like a little tornado.
(40:07):
That's what they call it. They they run out.
Here comes the little tornado. Yeah, they they run out.
They avoid the booby trap this time because Delilah remembered.
And yeah, they're running down the driveway to get more cell
service. It's broad daylight in the
middle of the day, and Cody's like, oh, I'll get good cell
service. You know, like I had when your
(40:31):
car got vandalized or he somehowbrings up the car.
Vandalization I I don't rememberwhy it happened, but it.
Was very. Random he brings up the fact
that her tires were slashed, which was something that she did
not tell him. So she's like, how do you know
that my tiles tires were slashed?
(40:52):
And he's like, oh, the the police must have told me.
The police give out that information.
But she was a bit suspicious that it maybe wasn't a crazed
fan that was throwing stuff through her window and slashing
her tires, but it was him tryingto force her.
What A twist to. Taking the gig I.
Didn't see it coming. I didn't see it coming either.
(41:14):
Man, no. And also don't forget they're
running away from Ellen, who is chasing them at this point with
a gun now. Yeah, let's.
Say really quickly one one thingthat we left out was like,
Delilah's talking to Ellen and somehow it comes up about the
rock being thrown through the window and the tire's being
slashed and Ellen's like, I would never do that to you.
(41:34):
Never. And so you know they.
Prioritize your they. Plant the seed there that it
wasn't like you assume that Ellen did everything.
At that point then you would know that it's got to be Cody
code first. But she's also, like, Ellen's
kind of like, who knows if she'stelling the truth.
Yeah, basically. Yeah, all right.
Weird line to drive. I thought that it was her mom.
I thought that if somebody else had done it in his mind.
(41:57):
OK. They give you a viable other
candidate. Yeah.
It did. It seemed like the mom did it
and that that was legit. I forgot about the whole
vandalizing thing. So when it came back, I was
like, oh wow, OK, great. But Cody can't even like,
explain himself. He gets run over by a car.
The car suddenly is working again.
Ellen like hits him with the carand then she the car like flips
into a ditch. She comes out full throttle with
(42:19):
with a gun and this is when we get our gun moments in a
Lifetime movie. Usually we don't see them go
off, but this one went off. Oh yeah, we did.
Some CGI sparks. Yeah, it's CGI is being kind.
Brandon, show me this. I show a clip and it is an
absolute marvel that this made it to a screen anywhere.
(42:40):
Yeah, I'll. Try to remember to post it to
like our stories or something. We could have made that at this
studio in under 3 minutes. It is like a clip art little
fire. It's crazy from the gun.
It's a very me gun, that Wiley coyote.
Would use, yeah. Just do the sound, like if you
do the bang sound we'll know it's gunshot.
You don't CGI. Smoke out there even that you
(43:00):
don't have to do the little firelike we we.
Don't. Yeah.
We don't need to. We don't need to see it.
And, you know, lifetime has moved away from guns.
So, you know, I think this is just more reason to like, let's
just, let's just do knives and fire pokers.
Yes. You know, yeah.
Some fire poker. We can get mad at that, you
know. Right.
So Ellen is eventually talked down.
(43:24):
She's like, I'm so sorry that I did all this.
Like I just went, I'm just your biggest fan or whatever.
And I was like hugging her, like, it's OK, it's OK.
And the police show up, and we fade.
Right. Yeah, I don't really know.
Let's do some Shakespeare. Well, hold on.
I was a little bit confused as to how the police show up
(43:45):
Patrick 'cause he like when they're running, when they're
running away, he's like, let me call the police, but they don't
have cell signal yet. And we never see him being like,
we need the police. I don't really know how they
show up, but they do and. They show up pretty quickly.
Yeah. Good timing.
And Alan admits that her parentsaren't actually on a vacation.
She killed them. Yeah, she killed them.
(44:08):
And, you know, did the whole house thing and.
And. Yeah.
Wow. So it's not great for Ellen.
Not for Ellen, this is. The last she had never throw a
rock through a window, but she did kill her parents.
Yes. What happens?
What happens to Ellen? You know, what's her jail time?
All that stuff we don't know. We don't know forever.
We don't know the last we see she's on the ground and that's
(44:29):
that's all you need to know about.
We got to go to Shakespeare. We got to get to Shakespeare.
Yes. We cut to five weeks later.
Delilah is at her high school, we assume, and her mother is
there. And she's like, thanks mom, for
coming. This means a lot to me.
The kids are so happy that you're here and I'm happy you're
here. And let's work on our
(44:50):
relationship. And then she walks to the front
of the stage and we get our iconic line and.
And that is the movie. We don't.
Is she there to play? She's a teacher.
Oh, she's now teaching high school.
She's at her alma mater. Yes.
OK, let's do some Shakespeare roll credits.
That is why. But she's there.
(45:12):
Her her mom shows up to see the kids perform.
I don't really, I don't know what she means when she says
who's right, like. Let's do some.
Shakespeare, but yeah, she doesn't.
I would assume they're doing monologues.
Maybe it's. Like not let's do some
Shakespeare, let's go. And, and that's worthy of
applause. Listen, sometimes your teacher's
mom shows up and sits in the crowd while you do your
(45:33):
monologue. And that's fine.
That's normal. They're working on their
relationship. That's right.
And that's good. Yeah.
We love that. She's also, like, really chill
about her mom showing up. She's like, oh, hey, mom.
And her mom's like, I want to work on our relationship.
She's like great, but like, I don't think you earned that.
I don't think you put. No, she she definitely didn't
after the altercation with the car and like, you know, the
(45:55):
whole childhood stage mom. That whole like argument where
her mom's basically like I did, like her mom had never
throughout the movie ever took time to realize that what she
did was wrong and the way that she pushed her child.
And she says it multiple times, like I I was doing this for your
own good. So I don't know what happens in
the five weeks between the gunshot boom and Mom showing up
(46:19):
to see Shakespeare woo, but something must happen because
they're very, you know, they're.Some group therapy, some group.
There, she's so true about it. So there you go.
Yes. So on the show we report up,
which means we would recommend yay or put a court in it.
We would not recommend. We'll start with Dan, since you
did not see the movie based on your imagination, what you what
(46:41):
are you going to do to this movie?
Guys, I got to be honest, this sounds like a great time.
I I don't know what to tell you.This movie sounds like it's
ridiculous. It sounds like it makes very
little narrative sense in moments.
The knowing the gunshot scene does aid me here in knowing that
this is probably my kind of crazy, the type of movie that I
(47:02):
would enjoy, even though it's very, very bad.
I think I'm here for it. I think I'm here for this movie
and I think I wish I'd watched it, which I don't say regularly
here on Deck the Lifetime in Cork, but I do say it today,
pouring it all the way up Bran. Bran, what are you thinking?
Listen, I'm I'm in a very good mood because I get to watch a
(47:23):
Lifetime movie, which I only getto do about once a month.
And so I'm already like going into it hopeful, knowing that
this is the this is my one listen for as bad as the gunshot
was, this movie is good. It is a ton of fun.
And I thought that the I thoughtthe actor playing Delilah was
really great. And I thought that the actor
(47:45):
playing Ellen, like I I told like I thought that she did a
really good job of doing the thing early on where she acts
like she doesn't know that she is Chelsea.
Like for a second I was like, I'm not totally I think that
she's going to be the big fan, but she's doing a really good
job. And then she did a good job
(48:07):
playing crazy. And So what more can you ask for
in this type of movie? And then the twist at the end
where it was, it was Cody that did the actual vandalism across
the board. Really good time.
One of one of my favorites that I've seen for this year program.
I had a lot of. Fun.
Is it 3 for three, Patrick? Yeah, so just one note about the
(48:28):
actress playing the Beverly Mitchell knock off, Lauren Cole
had real tears coming out of hereyes.
Like you could see them come like dripping from her eyes.
So that's some real good acting there.
And it is hard to play a a crazycharacter without going like
over the top. So I thought that was cool.
I like that the movie worked on like so many different levels,
like of like we're commenting onHollywood, but not in like a, a
(48:51):
cheesy lifetime way, like on an insider way, 'cause I think
Haley Duff has a lot of insider like, you know, knowledge and
experience. So it was interesting in that
way and then just interesting inlike a lifetime way.
And yeah, the actors were all super solid.
I loved that. And I had a thought, but I
(49:12):
forgot what it was. But that's fine.
We'll just, we'll just say it's pour it up, Pour it up.
I remembered, I remembered. So we were going to the, the,
the fans of this show were like,you got to do Honey Boo Boo.
You got to do Honey Boo Boo. I'm glad that we actually switch
(49:33):
it up because I think Honey Boo Boo is going to be a flat movie
and this movie was definitely worth worth a.
Honey Boo Boo is getting. It's a movie about Honey Boo
Boo. Really.
Yeah, but it comes out later. This Honey Boo Boo is is getting
movie with Honey Boo Boo involved.
Honey Boo Boo is involved in the.
How many times do we say it? I'm not.
Saying that, we're not going to do Honey Boo Boo, but I'll let.
(49:53):
You. Be the deciding fact.
Like if we do 1 early next month.
Does it make sense? Maybe we Honey Boo Boo.
That's next month. That's April.
April showers bring May flowers.Oh, wait, no.
So today, today is May 5th, we're recording.
Oh, we already did April, so it would be.
May shower. May flowers bring June.
I don't know. I don't think we can do honey.
(50:15):
From next month is April. Yeah, that's not April.
I'm all over the. Place we're halfway to halfway
to Christmas. I'm not opposed to doing another
and doing Honey Boo Boo, though,because there's.
Let's see what's on the docket for June.
We'll see. We'll see.
It's my birthday month. We have to do something.
Birthday month. That's true.
Maybe for your I've, maybe for your birthday month we should
(50:36):
have you every every week. We've we've set a really weird
precedent with our Oliver Cohoesgetting to choose stuff on their
birthday. It started with Alonzo who
chooses a movie and now it's PatLike does every Co host now get
to choose something for us to doon deck the homework on their
birthday? We're big birthday people.
We're big birthday people. Yeah, I don't know.
Yeah. We love birthdays.
(50:57):
Well, this was a lot of fun. Lifetimerecord.com for all of
Patrick's thorough journalism onthe subject of lifetime
movement, he covers them all andhe's a real journalist.
There he is. I'm not so sure, but Patrick
absolutely electroniccourt.com We'll be back next time on
another one and tell them at thefirst to wish you a.
Merry Christmas That the Homeworks of Brabel Jam podcast
(51:18):
is produced by Aaron Shea. For more information on Deck the
Homework you can go to deckthehallmark.com.
For more information on the Deckthe Hallmark family, you can go
to bramblejamplus.com. Deck the Hallmark is presented
by Philo TV. For a free trial of Philo, go to
philo.tv/DTH.
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The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.
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Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Special Summer Offer: Exclusively on Apple Podcasts, try our Dateline Premium subscription completely free for one month! With Dateline Premium, you get every episode ad-free plus exclusive bonus content.