December 21, 2024 • 51 mins
https://ko-fi.com/patrickserrano
It's a Wonderful Lifetime!
Follows Andie, who runs a decorating company with her mother. After her mother's passing, Andie navigates her first Christmas alone while trying to find love.
Cast: Jennifer Love Hewitt, Brian Hallisay
Bran, Dan, Patrick, and Producer Erin break down the It's A Wonderful Lifetime 2024 lineup! Will we Pour it up or Put a Cork in it?
Lifetime Uncorked and Deck the Hallmark collide on this monthly podcast covering your favorite TV movies! Brandon (Bran) Gray & Daniel (Dan) Thompson join Lifetime Expert Patrick Serrano to break Lifetime's TV Movie lineup for 2024. Follow us on social media for more content @LifetimeUncorked & @HallmarkPodcast
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hi, I'm Brandon. I love Lifetime Christmas
movies. I'm Patrick Serrano and I'm a
Lifetime movie expert. I'm Dan and I despise lifetime
Christmas movies and this is thedeck.
The Hallmark Podcast. Well, hello, Hello, boy.
(00:33):
How are we? I mean, it's the 21st brand.
Yeah, we're right there. I know we're.
Doing it, dude. Christmas morning, this morning,
when you said four days till Christmas, I thought, I thought
you were going to lose. I thought that was it.
I thought your voice was gone. You were.
It was. Losing my mind.
Patrick. Hello, Happy Saturday before
Christmas to you. Are you all ready for Christmas?
Do you have all your shopping done and whatnot?
(00:56):
Yeah, you know, we just do the nephews now.
The kids will get presents. The adults, you know, you're on
your own. Check your, check your bank
account. You know you might have a A Zell
in there. A Check your bank account.
You might have a Zell when you're getting a Zell that is as
laid back as as it gets. For might get a Zell.
Check your bank account. You might have a Zell.
But if you're just passing around Zells like if you're
(01:19):
that, someone's going to lose out on.
That right, Is there a decided amount of money for the Zelle
Pass? Everybody sends everybody $20 be
a Zelle. Right.
Well, usually my dad sends the most Zelle and then everybody,
everybody else, you know, if you're, if they like you,
they'll send you. Something.
Let's see what Dad sends and then we'll go.
We'll send very yes, we'll. Vary that, yeah.
(01:40):
I love that. I like that.
Dude, you're getting a Zell. I think that's great.
That's very exciting. How?
Have they not tapped into that as a as any sort of advertising?
We need to, we need to send somebody over there.
Like it's just a, it's a, it's like a party, a Christmas party
is like, why didn't you get me agift?
And you're like. Dude, you're getting a Zell
that's really good. What do?
We do like, why are we here? Yeah, we need to be in a
(02:01):
boardroom. Somewhere heck out of this.
Just taking a quick gander, as Itypically do to Lifetime on
cork.com. You you do the most this time of
year. You are you're covering
everything, including a a relatively large batch as of
this week of BET plus movies that Oh yeah, came, came out of
(02:26):
nowhere. If someone is going to watch one
BET Plus Christmas movie this weekend, which one should they
watch? OK, so there's 1 based on a
Richard Pryor movie that I wasn't familiar with, but I
guess it's like a big movie. It's called Baxter or not
Baxter. Brewster's Millions.
(02:47):
Brewster's Millions. The classic.
Yeah, so the colon. Christmas.
Yeah, Booster Brewster's Millions.
Christmas. I'm not.
Yeah. Oh, I'm ruining the pitch.
In the in the porch meetings. Richard Pryor's daughter, isn't
it? Wow.
Is it good? And she's good, yeah.
(03:08):
And it's good, yeah. So basically it's, you know,
that whole thing, like you can'tget the your inheritance until
you do the good things. But it's the the sister.
The sister from Family matters. Oh, Laura Kelly, Shanine
Williams or the other sister? No, no, not not the young
sisters, the aunt, the auntie, the auntie, not Judy.
(03:29):
Got it. She's the the grandma and she's
like, you got to provide a home for somebody.
Oh, Joe Marie Peyton that you'retalking about.
We're talking about the Yes, themom got it.
Yeah, not the mom, the mom's sister, Rachel.
Yeah, Rachel. Got it.
You've said Rachel, you've said yes to everyone.
You said sister, and then you said.
(03:51):
Patrick, you've thrown out multiple people and Patrick has
said yes to all. That's right.
Yes. Yes.
That's right. That's one.
That's it. You got.
That's the ticket. So she has to provide a home,
she has to provide a, a, a kids wish with no money, you know,
like not a not a not a Dolly or a a rocking chair.
She has to give him like an experience or something and then
(04:15):
a fine love or whatever. And it's just really good.
Yeah, it's a little, it's a little long.
It needs some editing. Like all the BET ones that they
they run it like it's a full movie, full length.
They're going like an hour 46. They're going they don't have
anyone's rules. Really dive into this character
with. Hallmark plus movies.
They still stuck it in. 84 Yeah,they still.
(04:35):
Stuck to it, yeah. There's no, there's no cuts for
commercials. It's like a, it's like a movie
movie. They they filmed them like
they're a movie movie. So so yeah, there's some editing
that could be done, but that would be the best.
Patrick I I see like podcasters and and different like content
creators always say like this, they have this link so they can
buy a coffee. Do you do that?
Where you have like a link whereyou can just like buy Patrick a
(04:57):
coffee? Do you do that?
Yeah, the the coffee, the Kofi coffee, they smell it.
They spell it weird. Guys, no one were like, Brandon
is the hardest working man in Christmas podcasting.
He has that title. There's nothing I can do about
that. But.
I mean I got 2 daily. Shows running a theater in, you
know, in, in Maryland and he's watching basically every movie
(05:20):
and writing about it. Go buy this man a coffee.
Like just go do it. Like it's, it's I like coffee,
you know? A well, I I changed mine to
wine. I changed mine to wine.
So I said buy me a glass of wine.
You know like like 5 bucks. Buy this man a glass of wine.
A glass of wine. It's more than 5 bucks these
days but I thought it was like rude to ask for like.
Ko-fi.com/patrick Serrano. That's how you do it.
(05:45):
It's that easy. If you're listening right now,
go buy this guy a glass of wine.I mean, he's just, it's just,
he's just working constantly watching movies.
I can't imagine at 11 at PM starting a movie.
Aaron Shea. Hi, Aaron.
Hey, at this time of year Deck the Hallmark has a really great
naked wine code. That's true.
So. You could get a bottle of wine
for seven dollars. That's true, yeah.
(06:07):
nakedwines.com/deck the Hallmarkis the best deal we've probably
ever offered. You know you.
Could buy You could buy Patrick 6 bottles of wine that's right
for the price. Of, you know what I think we're
going to do? You're Chris.
I think we've determined that I prefer the Zelle guys.
You're getting. Cell.
I was gonna, I was gonna say we'll send you some naked wine,
but maybe we'll just send you the cell.
We'll send you the dude. You're getting cell.
You're getting cell, you're getting.
(06:28):
Right, right. No.
I had a wine in a Secret Santa at a work party and I was like,
obviously I'm picking the wine if I'm picking 1st and then you
know, it got stolen of course. Was it a white elephant or a
Secret Santa? Oh, it was a white elephant.
They can't. Steal your gift in Secret Santa.
That's illegal, no? Matter how hard they try.
Oh, wait, wait a minute. I think people are pulling one
(06:49):
over on me. Yeah.
So, you know, I've got one. I've got 1 covered.
What'd you? Oh, so you got it?
You stole it back. No, I didn't.
I just want, I just wanted to end the story nicely.
I ended up getting like a bunch of like stupid, like a coffee
mug and a cocoa, a cocoa mix andI was like, God, I don't want
(07:12):
this. But that's always how it happens
you. Can send that to me.
That sounds nice. Yeah.
Really. I love Cocoa.
Oh, I will. It's a It's a 12 Days of
Christmas Cocoa Tasting 12. That's the number of days, Brian
12. Days off.
I don't need it from you. I'm having a moment with
Patrick. OK, that sounds wonderful.
All right, I'll, I'll send you the I'll send you the box, but
(07:33):
it's it's all just junk. God, it just made me so mad.
I bought a beautiful jade stone to bring you wealth in the new
year and you I I charged it withthe moon.
Come on guys. Do you think that someone's at
home with their jade stone going?
I can't believe this is the junkI got.
I brought hot chocolate 12 different types.
(07:56):
This is freaking charged with the moon.
What good is that to me? The.
Girl, the girl who got the the the jade, she got the jade
stone. She was not happy.
So so Kiefer. Kiefer is my Co worker.
Kiefer he all day long. Yeah, yeah, he took he took the
jade. He traded with her and he was
like, this is really cool. I like this present.
(08:16):
And I was like good. It's a cool present.
It's what I would have wanted. That's so fun, I love it.
Oh, I just got a Kofi. Oh my gosh.
Wow. We're just telling you that it's
the magic. Why about that?
Is this magic? Is it enough to buy a new jade?
The jade was like, you know, $25.00 at, what's it called,
(08:37):
HomeGoods. HomeGoods got it.
Sponsored by HomeGoods. Sponsored by HomeGoods.
Everybody right now coko-fi.com/patricktoronto.
That's that's all there is to it.
And you you can leave a little message too, which.
Is Oh, wow. Yeah, the the words of
affirmation count Giovanni. Thanks, Kristen.
See, Kristen said glass of wine for your service.
(08:59):
Thank. You, Kristen.
Kristen above and beyond. Unbelievable.
Yeah. Are we doing a pledge driver?
Now, somebody if some, if we get3 Kofi's by the time we're done,
then that's right. All right, let's do Holiday
junkie. That's what we're talking about
today. Yeah.
Jennifer Love. A drug addict that loves the
holidays, The Jenner. I wish I win.
(09:21):
The Jennifer Love Hewitt vehicle.
Yeah. Acted directed.
Did she write it? No, no.
Anna White wrote it but did did it all.
She's she's. Story by story by.
Yes, yes, I was excited about this one.
Oh, me too. I think this is this is it.
So I didn't like I I don't really know anything about
(09:43):
Jennifer Love Hewitt. Wow.
I know. I know the name Jennifer Love.
Hewitt, you did last summer. Right.
And I just watched, I know you did, last summer for the first
time this Halloween. I had a good time.
I had a good time. And so I was excited.
What are? You waiting for?
What are you waiting for? That's great.
Very good, aren't they? Aren't they doing Then they just
sign on for? She's just sign on for another
(10:03):
one, right? It's been very dramatic with the
the announcement of the new one.Did you guys hear all the
dramas? Sarah Michelle Gellar and you.
Call her the Gal, the Gal the Gal Gal and love.
They apparently are like have some bad blood, but it's really
it's on the DL like they're they're like saying like, Oh no,
(10:24):
we're friends. But like you can tell.
But they did. They both have officially signed
on, right? Well, Sarah Michelle Gellar,
interestingly enough, her character died in the first one,
so I don't know how she's comingback, but she's coming back.
I was thinking that and didn't want to spoil it for anybody,
but also like, yeah, that. But I mean, it's never stopped a
horror movie before. I mean, they made 1000 Halloween
movies and like, you know, it's fine.
(10:44):
They just I've seen. And I've seen Scream 76.
Whatever it is, the last scream was a joke.
How many people stayed? A lot.
Yeah. We got let's do this.
We could we We can do this. Yes, the holiday junkie.
Take it away, Patrick. Oh, right, right.
Yeah. So you know, well, but we're
talking about Jennifer Lef Hewitt and and Jennifer Lef
Hewitt is naturally the the drawof this movie, right.
So she's coming in, she wrote, she directed.
(11:07):
This is based on her. She lost her mother, I think
recently, so this is like a tribute to her mother.
Oh, OK, so the the tears. She didn't have to work very
hard. No, the motivation was easy
there she. Cries a lot in this movie and I
was very impressed by it, but now knowing that she was easily
able to. Now that you know her mom just
(11:27):
died, you're not impressed by it.
I'm weirdly enough less so, you know, it's like when it just
happened. You could pull it really,
really, really quickly and but but I will say.
I'm working for your trauma. There were multiple scenes where
I got a kick out of the fact knowing that she's directing
this movie. And so I'm in my mind thinking
(11:49):
through she's giving the direction and then she's like, I
need 3 seconds. Then she starts crying action.
And so that happens multiple times in this movie where the
scene kind of just kind of starts and she's crying already.
And so thinking through how do you direct yourself and the
crew? Yeah, right as you're about to
cry with that. There's a lot going on, lots of
(12:09):
lots of juggling going on by Jennifer Love, which is very,
very impressive. I'm back to being very
impressed. OK, good.
But we it was a journey. But we.
Made I came, I came all over andthe guy in this movie is her
real life husband. That's correct.
Her real life husband. I think her kids are in a.
Family or? Something like, yeah, she's got,
she really did the whole thing. And just one more thing about
(12:30):
the crying. So, Dan, you didn't see the
movie? Nope.
So you don't know how pretty hercrying is, but think you know
Claire Danes crying, right? Yes.
The the ugliest crier of Claire Danes.
Yeah, it it's the complete opposite of that.
Think no lines on the face. Beautiful tears.
To symmetrical. She's she's still able to.
(12:53):
Like talk, you know, while she'scrying, which is always
impressive. But she's.
Really crying yeah, she's reallycrying.
You know, she might make like a frown.
Yeah, once to show she's sad, but but yeah, it's it's really
impressive. I've.
Not seen Jennifer Love you anything.
I didn't watch the show she was on on on CBS Ghost whisperer.
(13:14):
I mean, I've, I think teenage mewas a big fan, but I don't.
Of course you were. I don't like big that was that
was a big draw of I just I know what you did last summer.
I, I don't, I don't know if I'veseen her in anything since then.
I, I, I might have, I don't know.
I honestly don't. But good to hear she's a great
crier. Yes, you, I mean, you definitely
(13:35):
weren't watching Party of Five. No, no, no, I did not get to
party of five. Right.
I'm like, there's no way. Me neither really.
Me neither really. There's How dare you, Patrick,
But you're right. Yeah.
All right, so Jennifer left Hewitt.
She runs a business in this. It's called The Holiday Junkie.
Oh wow. Yes, it's today for the movie.
(13:56):
We get it right out of the beginning and the mother and her
started the business together. Yes, and early on in the movie,
you know, you don't know that mom's dead because she's calling
her mom and is leaving her a voicemail.
And I I felt like I remember from the preview show that her
(14:19):
mom was dead. And so I was like, oh, her mom's
not dead yet. And then is apparently just a
thing she does. She calls her mom and she leaves
voice guys even though she's already passed.
Hey update, I have seen JenniferLove you a couple times since I
know what you did last night. The tuxedo Jackie Chan movie,
Garfield the movie. I saw her there.
She's briefly in Tropic Thunder,which I saw and can't hardly
(14:43):
wait. So I've seen all of those
things. So there you go.
She's been around more than I thought.
Well, that's the thing. She sneaks up on you.
She. Does she sneaks up on you?
Yeah. She's sneaky.
And in this movie it's really fun because, you know, her mom's
dead, but she keeps talking about her mom and people assume
that the mom's alive. The way she's talking, she's
like, oh, me and my mom run thisbusiness and they're like, oh,
(15:03):
that's so fun. Your mom sounds great.
And she's like, it's almost likeshe she like, sadly, like walks
away, like, like foreshadowing or whatever.
And Dan, I have, I have to show you this image on my website.
So. So for the first, I don't know,
(15:24):
hour of the movie, she's wearingthis red suit jacket, like
blouse and red glasses. And she looks like Linda
Belcher. Belcher, Belcher.
Yeah. Linda Belcher from Bob's
Burgers. Oh my God, she does.
She it just was on my mind the whole time.
Like to have made the. Red jackets, but and the red or
(15:46):
the red glasses it's. Crazy shout out to Bob's
Burgers. A fun time.
Yeah, you know, I like I, I, I had my moment with Bob's
Burgers. OK, so she has this.
There's a client, a big client, the Parker family, they have a,
a beautiful house, MC Mansion, if you will, and she's going to
(16:08):
decorate it, plan the holidays for them.
And it's going to be her big opportunity to get a venture
capitalist to, you know, give her more money.
That's right. So the holiday junkie doesn't
just come in and decorate your house, They also plan your whole
Christmas gathering, basically. So the Parker family was going
out of town and when they came back, they wanted the whole
(16:29):
house decorated and then like a bunch of Christmas activities
that they could do as a family. OK.
So not like scheduling family Christmas parties.
I'm sure that they could, that they, but Holly Junkie can do.
We're gonna go sledding or ice skating.
I love. This an itinerary basically for
your Christmas gatherings. But she really wants an investor
because her dream is to get intothe consumer side.
(16:49):
She want she has all these mock ups of different like Christmas
decorations that she wants to make and so her goal is to
impress the Parker family, get some money and then begin to
make her own Christmas decoration.
Standard. Yeah, got it.
Yep, and so when she gets to thehouse she has a lesbian best
friend. Just throwing that out there.
(17:11):
OK, doesn't really have much influence on the plot, but I
thought the lesbian best friend was funny.
She wasn't shout out. And she gets to the house and of
course, there's a hunky handyman, you know, hammering
away and she's like, what are you doing here?
I'm supposed to be decorating the house.
And he's like, what are you doing here?
I'm the house manager. And they, they like, have like a
tense little thing going. And he's like, your job's fake.
(17:34):
And she's like you're face. Face Yeah, you might be
wondering, Dan, it wouldn't the house manager's job to be
decorating for Christmas. It sounds like it would be it
it, and it should be. But he doesn't do Christmas.
He doesn't do. Christmas, you need to know that
he doesn't. Do it and you might be wondering
why he doesn't want to talk about it.
You don't want to talk? No.
Well, I should. Lose another 20 minutes.
(17:55):
I'm sure we'll unpack that laterand it'll have something to do
with a dead relative, but right now we're not going to.
Surprisingly know Wow OK or Avion pins and needles OK.
Right. And Mason is the the hunk's name
like, you know, he's the handyman.
Masonry, We're tying it together.
Masonry. Did you?
Combine Masonry and Missionary. Oh, right.
(18:17):
Masonry. Masonry in the masonry.
Position. Yeah, it's a.
It's an ingredient. Hi, I'm a masonry, I spread the
gospel of Mason work. That's right.
Right, right. There you go.
He's not the only person to dragJennifer Love Hewitt job.
Like everyone she meets in this town is like your job sounds
fake. Your job is made-up your job.
(18:37):
They're like so rude. Like if some you know, like I'm
sure you guys have this with your job.
You're like, I'm a podcaster andthey're like, what does that
mean? Or what do you mean?
Your job's fake. Yeah.
The difference between US and love, though, in this, I call
her love person is we try to getahead of it.
We do. We always go like we're
podcasters. It's not a real job.
(18:58):
We we say the thing first. I never say I watch Christmas
movies for. I say I run a podcast network.
It's it's weird. It's silly.
Yeah, we try to do my because. We know what people are
thinking. We understand.
Because you're they're immediately going to go, I like
podcasts. What kind of podcast do you do?
And that's where it gets really silly because if I was like, you
know, running a podcast network with a bunch of true crimes on
(19:20):
there, it would be like true crime.
And then the conversation's overor they want to tell me about
their true crime. But as soon as I'm like, oh,
it's TV Christmas movies mainly.There's just no recovering.
You don't, there's no recovering.
You just you're down a path at that point.
So, you know, we try to get up in front of it this weekend.
But love does not. No.
Well, yeah, she needs you guys as you guys should become weird
job coaches. True.
(19:41):
And then coach people with with weird jobs how to oppress.
I love that holiday party. Dude, you're getting Zell.
It it works so. Well it well it does so well.
Or you could say it it works so zell.
OK, OK all. Right, we're having fun.
All right, all right. So no, no, no, not.
(20:04):
I'm well. I can always get a laugh out of
Patrick. With this, Patrick heard that
wasn't a song. He couldn't he couldn't handle
it. I.
Love it. OK, sorry, sorry.
We're having fun. OK, so they work together, but
not together. Well, you know, they're like
getting a Christmas tree. The vendor cancels.
Like things are happening, right?
And Mason has a friend in high school who like, he's from the
(20:30):
town, so. They're townies.
Townies. They're townies and these
friends are not pivotal to the plot, but I thought this actor
was notable. Greg Greenberg.
Do you guys remember Greg? He's been on the podcast.
We know. Greg, he's.
Been on our show? Yeah, friend of the show Greg.
Your friends. Friend of the show Greg.
And of. Course, and Greg's job in this
(20:50):
movie is to just be silly and laugh.
That's basically his whole gig. Yeah, my picture of him on the
blog is just him laughing. I think he's laughing in every
scene that he's in. Even in a scene that's coming
up, which is anything but funny,he still finds a way to to
laugh. So shout out to Grand.
(21:11):
Yeah, I mean, well, he was, he'salways been like on.
He's like a Where's Waldo of like TV and film, you know?
Yeah, Heroes, Star Wars Lifetime.
He's all over the map. Oh, see, you missed.
You missed my, my gateway, Felicity.
He was in Felicity. Felicity.
Yeah, Gateway Grundberg was Felicity.
Yeah, for sure. Gateway Grundberg last year.
Really good. Show right.
(21:31):
They opened for Tony Masonry. Yeah, Masonry, sorry.
Thing but but he doesn't really do these Christmas Eve movies so
I I'm like he must be like a personal friend of Jennifer Love
Hewitt's and she's like hey, you're funny.
Can you be in this movie please?I I got a lot of dead bomb stuff
in this. I need you to like punch it up.
Yeah, that's right. I think he is a fan of the the
genre, though. That's right.
I think there's yeah, if the opportunity came knocking.
(21:54):
I I wasn't, I was surprised to see him and then I wasn't.
He reviewed a movie with us on. That's a good toes, Yeah, wasn't
even. Christmas OK, well, you know,
dream come true then he gets hishe gets his Christmas movie
check and you know he's in the the one of the season the
Jennifer Lev Hewitt. One.
That's right. Big deal.
We love it. Prestige.
So Jennifer Love Hewitt Hewitt meets these high school friends.
(22:15):
They are making fun of Mason andtalking about a time when he
peed his pants. Yeah.
And this guy peed his pants at school.
And it was so funny. And it made me think about,
like, everyone knows the kid that peed their pants at school,
right? Can you guys like think like to
your school experience and like you vividly have a memory of
(22:36):
someone pee in their pants? No.
No. No, I'm sorry.
Is it just me? I I can't say the name, but it
was one girl. She.
She. She.
She. I can't say her name.
It's. Inappropriate.
The name is inappropriate. Well, it's I I don't want to
call them out, you know, we'll just call.
Them. We'll just call them Jessica.
(23:00):
Lounge. Jessica Lounge.
Yes, Jessica Lounge, my personalfriend in in math class, she's
like raising her hand and the teacher's like, you cannot go to
the bathroom. We are like doing this,
whatever. And she's like, OK, and she's
like really, really waiting. And then she she's like raises
her hand. He's like, you can't not go.
(23:20):
We're doing this thing. And she like, like couldn't hold
it. And then she just like, Peed and
everybody in the classroom like,Oh my God, Oh my God.
That's good thing and. You know, we're like then then
it's like, well, she should havelet her go to the bathroom.
That T-shirt. Looks like that's a bad You
could sue that teacher. Right.
How old? Was Jessica Collins.
(23:41):
That was probably 6th grade. 6thgrade.
Oh my God. Yes, that's what that's what I'm
saying. That's what I'm saying the.
Number one rule of teaching middle school is you.
You. Yeah, we'll just stop there.
That's the number. Like you have to let her go to
the bathroom. Like you just can't.
Do that. That's tough.
It was bad. It was bad.
So so yes. Because also in the story that
(24:04):
they're telling, Mason pieces pants in high school, he's in
high school. It's not like a little kid.
So these are like grown-ups, like pee in their pants, you
know? Would have had a memory, but
after potty training two boys, it's like if you say, pee their
pants, I just think of my kid, you know, and you're like at 3
1/2 at the trampoline. Park I got, I got a lot of.
I think he's potty trained, but he didn't want to stop jumping,
(24:25):
you know what I mean? That's the.
Those are the stories that I have.
Yeah. You know, it's the PTSD of
keeping a change of you. Gotta tell you gotta tell the
worker. And my kid peed all the That's
right. Trampoline.
Yeah. Oh, you do that right.
Oh, you told him. Wow.
Interesting. I just say jump away, man, jump
away. What's done is done.
Swing away. Swing away.
But yes, in the middle of all this pee pee talk, imagine,
(24:46):
imagine us. We're talking about all these
funny things and then all of a sudden Jennifer loves you.
It's like my mom died and then she runs away.
OK, She runs off. So that's how we get it out
finally. That's the big reveal.
That is the big reveal, and it'salso the big time for the break.
I don't know. Let's take a quick break.
We'll come back. We'll get to the rest of the
Holiday Junkie here on the Hallmark.
(25:17):
Welcome back everybody. It was a good place.
It was a good place for Buddy. I'm ready.
I'm ready. My my Kofi update.
We we hit we hit the goal, we hit three.
Wow. So Holly G, of course, Holly.
G. Holly G does not need to buy me
anything because we always just hang out and, like, drink more
(25:40):
stronger things than wine together.
More stronger, more stronger. Yeah, she says, big hugs. 3
exclamation marks, which means she really means it.
And then Julie C says cheers, exclamation mark, 2 glasses of
wine. Wow.
Wow. Which is incredible.
And then somebody anonymously bought one an anonymous.
(26:01):
There it is. There's the one.
So you're up to four? Oh my.
Gosh, I'm already slurring my words.
It's so many glasses of wine, mygosh.
Christmas is starting. It is. 6:00 in the morning we.
Didn't mention I'm also drinkingthe glasses of wine in real
time. Yes, we're going through the
podcast. Kofi is a miracle website.
They just kind of pop out of thescreen.
Shot of the screen, yeah. Yeah, if you want to hear me
(26:22):
actually do that, go back in thearchives.
That's how I used to record the podcast.
Used to drink with actual wine. Yeah, that's right.
Every every episode we record like 4 episodes back-to-back.
And you start drinking in the 1st episode.
Drinking first episode and then you know your next guest will
bring a bottle of wine and who knows what you're saying in
episode 4. Yeah, yeah, fantastic.
(26:44):
I would have. I would have to, I would have to
listen back and be like, OK, let's make sure I didn't say
anything. Totally terrible.
Yeah, yeah. My question was the Wild West
back then. Those are the 20 teens, you
know. It was 2016, you know, And the
best part about that would be like, I would be like listening
to the conversation. And then I would say what I was
(27:04):
thinking. I, I wanted to say.
And I'm like, yeah, I said what I wanted.
To say, you know, what is funny about that is occasionally I'll
go back to older episodes and I'll hear like Dan say something
and then I will think about a joke that I want to respond
with. And then I make that joke all
the time and I'm like, oh, wow, I I'm so consistent.
Consistent. Yes, yeah.
(27:26):
Yes. So if you were wondering if
we're a narcissist before, we are totally listening to
ourselves on tape. That's right, I'm laughing at
my. Own time in the world, there's
nothing I can do. Hey, you know, it's fun.
OK, so back back to Jennifer Love Hewitt, our girl.
She gets to decorating. She wakes up and Mason is
shirtless and he's like she's walking around and she's like,
(27:51):
you're naked. He's like I've just had my shirt
off like relax, but he like helps her like hang up like more
like intricate designs and stuffcan.
I ask a question about shirtlesspeople.
Yes, OK. Well, I just I like I haven't
been around like this has never happened to me.
OK, so I've never like been in apublic setting where someone's
just randomly shirtless aside from like a swimming pool or the
(28:14):
beach or whatever, where it's acceptable.
That's right. But like, I have to imagine if I
do see that, I, you just kind ofroll with it, right?
Like if you if you see somebody shirtless, do you do you freak
out like Love did? Like like how she just kind of
turned around and she's like, Ohmy gosh, like, or do you just
kind of roll with it? I think if you're sexually
(28:37):
attracted to them, maybe you would.
So it's just like an immediate like, oh wow, how about how I'm
not going? To be able to concentrate if you
don't put your shirt. On right, right.
But if it's just like, you know,some random like guy and he's
just like hot and takes the shirt off walking around, you
know? Like like I do around the
office. Well, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's
pretty. Regular.
Yeah. Or I'm thinking like in yoga
(28:59):
class, like if someone takes their shirt off.
Like, I almost took my shirt offit was so hot the other day in
yoga class. But I don't because I think it's
like a privilege that men have that women don't.
So I I'm like, if they have to keep their shirts on, then I'm
going to keep my shirt. Wow.
Yeah. How about that?
Yes. But sometimes guys take their
shirts off in yoga class. And usually if they're a hunky
man, I'm like, oh, whoa, oh. Wow.
(29:20):
And you don't know what to do with you.
It's an instinctual hubba. Hubba.
That's right. It is it.
Is OK. OK, great.
All right, carry on. Yes, women and gay men Ogle
shirtless men too, so don't worry guys.
OK. Thank you.
Good, good. So there's a she finds like a
wedding invitation. This was like confusing to me.
(29:42):
So she finds a wedding invitation for someone named
Claire Egan and Mason. Like it was a wedding from like
last year that got called off and she's like, what is this?
So I think that's like the big secret that we're going to be
revealing later, but we just putit, we put it in our back
pocket. The Parker family keeps getting
like snowed in to wherever they are.
They're in Colorado or something.
(30:04):
They keep like, missing their flight or like their flight gets
cancelled, like they keep it. So it extends the time that
Jennifer Lephewitt and Mason arealone together, right?
Yes, yeah, yeah. It does. 100% does, yeah.
So Jennifer Lephew is starting to have feelings for Mason and
her lesbian, her lesbian friends.
(30:24):
Like, you need to go for it. He's hot.
I, I'm a lesbian and even I think he's hot.
See, like the thing we were talking just talking about,
Sure, there's a cookie swap in town and Jennifer Love Hewitt
accidentally signed the family up.
No, not accidentally. She did sign the family up.
Yes, because she thought they would be back by now, but
they're not. They're not.
So now she has to come up with like so many cookies.
(30:45):
But lucky for her, Mason is likea a incredible Baker.
And I wrote she's baking like a mad woman.
And I thought about this today, like, why do we say mad woman?
Why don't we say mad man or we say mad Hatter?
Why is it mad woman? What?
I've heard madman a lot more than mad woman.
Right. No, you're like, I'm something
like a mad woman. Like I was driving like a mad
(31:07):
woman. No, I I heard like a madman way
more. Really.
Yeah. Let's let's bake it like a
madman. I would never say baking like a
mad woman. I would literally never say
that. Really.
Yeah, I don't know if I've ever heard it, but let's let the
people decide. You can send Patrick a Kofi, and
then in the in the little message line, you can let us
know whether you've heard it. Mad woman or mad man?
(31:29):
Yeah, I always thought it was a mad woman.
I've never heard mad man, really.
I've heard nothing. But mad I've.
Heard I mean it's ATV show. Madman, madman.
Oh you're right, it is ATV show.Yeah, like it's all it's a
that's the phrase is madman, notmadwoman in my like that.
That's how I've always thought of it, but.
We're but. Listen, Patrick, we're not
(31:49):
sexist like you are. So we.
That's right. That's right.
Yeah, yeah. We are just talking.
To you sometimes, yeah, it is. It is.
I know, I know, I know, but thisis a learning opportunity for
me. Yeah, we're all learning.
Failing forward. You're failing forward, Patrick.
So they they plan to like, expand the business.
They're like as they're talking and baking.
(32:10):
You know, yeah, that's when she talks about how she wants to get
into the consumer side. And he talks about how he wants
kids. Yeah.
All right, Yeah, that's a time to bring it up for.
Sure. Oh, you want to expand your
business? I want to expand my family.
It's like one of those like things.
Classic. Right.
And I'm like, not even dating you.
Really. Yeah, really random.
And also he still hates Christmas, don't forget.
(32:33):
And he wants to dress up as Santa, but he's too skinny to
dress up as Santa. And we have not figured out why
he hates. Christmas yet?
No, but it's coming, it's coming.
It's. Coming.
It's coming. It's coming.
And OK, here it is. So we're at, we're at the bar.
We're at the bar. We made it.
Greg Grunberg is there at the bar, of course, and they play
this really fun game. It's, it's called, I guess
(32:57):
something with a mozzie stick, you know, like a mozzarella
stick. There's one mozzarella stick
left. How do you think?
They're going to decide. Who could get a lot of stick?
You got to split it. Yeah, you just split the stick.
There's. Four.
There's four out there. Oh, then it should be two and
two. Oh, you think so?
I think if there's four, there'sfour people.
How many? What if they decide?
(33:17):
How many in this order of sticks?
I don't know, but they don't want to split the stick and So
what they decide to do is play afun game of who has the worst
Christmas story. And that's how we figure out he
doesn't like Christmas for a mozzarella stick.
Yeah, Yeah, we do. As soon as mozzarella sticks
come to the table, I do instant math on how many I should eat.
(33:39):
And what's great? Do you guys not do that?
Like four people, 8 sticks come to the table.
I because I'm going to eat faster than you.
I eat 2 sticks and I stop. Yeah, you get to have
immediately. And then I wait, everybody eats
all theirs and I'm like, hey, I've already had my share.
Anybody want any more of these sticks?
And then if it's fair game, thenI go back for more.
You're fair with your sticks, I will say that.
We do it with wings. We get wings of the office.
(33:59):
I eat my designation wings leftover and then I stop and
then I just eat whatever's left after everybody's finished.
But he doesn't even win the stick though.
No. Yeah, this is the word.
This seems a tough go of it 'cause I don't think that it is
a thing that real people have ever done.
Like I don't think this like, have you ever just gone around
(34:21):
in a circle and be like, what's your worst Christmas memory?
Definitely not. It was so weird, especially.
Like, I don't she's trying. Like, so she opens up.
Her mom died last Christmas. OK, yes.
So she's been dead for a year and she died of cancer.
And you're like, whoa. Well, this is this is time.
She's crying. She's crying.
We're crying. Everyone's crying.
(34:42):
And he's like, I mean, yeah, I guess you win.
But she like finally it's like you have to tell your story.
And so we find out that he was engaged last Christmas to Clary
Egan and she called out and theywere going to get married right
around Christmas. OK.
And she called out the the engagement like 2 days before
the wedding because she wants totravel or something.
She. Didn't want to.
(35:03):
She didn't want to have kids. She didn't want to.
Have kids she wants to previous Christmas so it's.
Fresh. It's fresh.
So that makes sense why he doesn't want to do.
Christmas. Yeah.
So he that's why he hates Christmas and but it's.
Yeah, it's not the best story. Yeah, she wins the stick, no
question about it. Yeah, but I mean, how many
sticks did each person have? That's all I'm asking.
We got to figure it out, but Jennifer Love Hewitt cries
(35:26):
beautifully and she eats a mozzarella stick.
So classically, yeah, OK. Classically.
She like, she like take, she like looks at.
You and look at her with that mozzarella.
Stick. Yeah, she like, like she looks a
little bit. I've never seen anybody eat a
mozzarella stick so well. No one looks good eating
mozzarella sticks, right? Like the cheese is all like
stringy and it's coming down. It gets stuck in your beer.
(35:48):
Cheese and have a beer, but you know what I mean.
I mean, Jennifer Love Hewitt crushing crushing the stick
game. Her nails Her nails look
amazing. Her nails did look really good
there. Goodness.
I'm. Really doing, you know, and
that's that's the difference between, you know, somebody
who's been behind the camera nowshe's directing, right?
She's she's paying attention to the details.
(36:08):
She knows that matter. Well, she's also a veteran of
the screen. I think she's had 30 plus years
to practice eating. The mozzarella she knows.
Exactly how what takes she's going to get, that's what takes
she's going to use. It took years and years and
years of acting for her to figure out the perfect way to
eat a mozzarella. How many?
There's over 100 Ghost whipper, whipper, the ghost whipper,
ghost whipper, ghost whipper. I'm going to kill this ghost.
(36:30):
Do you whip that ghost? The Ghost Whisper.
There's over. 100 episodes of that.
She's in probably every scene ofevery episode.
She ate 1 mozzarella stick. During the ghost.
Whipper show, right? I mean, I don't know, I couldn't
get it, she seemed. Too comfortable.
I have to imagine she's. She, yeah, she's had her fair
share of mozzarella sticks. Yeah, yeah.
(36:50):
All right, so once your a winterstorm comes.
In no one segue is quite like Patrick.
OK, OK. Gosh.
Whippers got to be honest with you.
We talked about the monster sticks longer than I
anticipated. You brought it up, Patrick.
Let's move on. I did bring it up.
I did bring it up. The family's still stuck in the
Rocky Mountains. Jennifer Love Hewitt is very
worried because how are they going to invest if they don't
(37:12):
see all the hard work she's doing?
You know, right? Yeah, of course, what it wastes
like. What heck.
So they have a lot of extra timeon their hands.
So Mason and Jennifer left. You go to her city apartment and
decorate that, and she gets out all her mom's decorations and
talks about them all. And you know, they're talking
about Christmas and everything. And there's a present that her
(37:32):
mom was going to give her last Christmas, and she hasn't opened
it. She's been waiting, you know,
she doesn't want to open it. It's too sentimental because.
She realized like, this is the last gift for mom that we're
going to give her. And so if she opens it, then
that's it. But he encourages her to take
that step. Your mom wanted you to have it
so you. Should you should open it?
Yeah, open the. Gift.
And so she does open it, and it is an ugly Christmas sweater.
(37:56):
Awesome yes it is it is an ugly Christmas sweater and she's
like, I don't know why she got me this we don't do ugly
Christmas sweaters like it wasn't sentimental at all.
She is there a. Mystery to it that they figure
out later. That's just the end.
No, but it does lead to them finally.
Making out they do finally make out.
OK, great and well. Because he says, he says, you
(38:17):
know, this gift is silly and youput a lot of pressure on
yourself. But your mom's get giving you
many gifts in your life. You know, all the things you've
learned from her, all the memories you have together.
And she's so touched by that that they just start sucking.
Face sucking face sucking face. And I, I, I, I, I think he
spends the night, 'cause she wakes up the next morning and
(38:39):
she's like. Oh boy, boy.
Where do you? Where'd he go?
Oh, you didn't see the part, thescene where there's like stairs
and like the. Camera I saw I.
Was like, this is a little bit Norman Batesy on us.
Can we like move along? It's like they spend a lot of
time on that. They like get it's they're out
of focus beyond the stairs. Beyond the stairs, they're like
(39:02):
stripping down. I'm like, what is happening?
Like cut cut cut, you know, in. The sex movie that got the
publicity. Right, that's that's the other
movie. That's next week.
That's Jake Helgren movie. So yeah, they make out.
They totally hook up. Grief is quite an aphrodisiac.
And now Jennifer Liv Hewitt is like, worried she's like, what's
(39:26):
going to happen? Like, I don't know.
And they do the thing where they, like, go talk to their
best friends, you know, like he talks to Greg.
Come back and forth as they're talking.
Yeah, I I hate that you don't like that part.
I hate that part of the movie because it always happens and
it's always pointless. I'm like, I don't need the
friends to to hash it out, you know?
Yeah, but it's, I don't know it's, but the friends probably
(39:48):
would. Hash it out.
Yeah, but it's the thing where the friends say the exact same
thing. And so they can just like make
the cuts where it's like, yeah, I you know, they speed it.
Greg is like, I think that you should.
And then they cut to the the the, yeah, the other best
friend, and they finish this. Efficient way of getting the
movie to time though, right? But you hate it.
(40:08):
You hate it. I I just think it's so
pointless. Like, let's move on.
Yeah. So during the kind of night
together, like Jennifer Hewitt talks about, you know, the nice
things her mom did for her. And one of the nice things was
her mom would decorate her room in Christmas lights whenever she
was sad. So like, not necessarily around
Christmas, just whenever. Right.
(40:30):
OK, That's like a thing that shedid.
Got it. And she mentioned it to him.
And she's, like, feeling really upset about, you know,
everything going down with the family, and she just feels like
she's wasted her whole Christmasbreak and everything.
And he decorates her room with, like, Christmas lights to make
her feel better. And it's like, really it.
(40:53):
Is really. Sweet.
All right. And then she cries again.
So we have. 3 or 4 cries. I think this might be like six.
Wow. I haven't been keeping count.
I think there's some that we haven't even mentioned.
OK. All right.
Yeah, so the next day she's she's inspired again.
She's like, OK, you know, the family might not be coming, but
I I want to make the most of this.
(41:14):
And the town has a holiday hop, like a sock hop.
It gets cancelled because the venue, something with the venue,
who cares? The there's a storefront that
Mason has been having the whole movie.
She's like, let's use the storefront.
He was going to. He was going to well.
Well, really quickly he had He bought the storefront.
(41:34):
OK. For his who he thought was going
to be his wife because she was an artist.
There's a storefront he's been having the whole movie.
That's right. So he had the storefront and
he's just kind of kept it, but hasn't done anything with it.
And so since meeting Jennifer Love Hewitt, he's slowly been
kind of going back to that placeand fixing it up because it's
just kind of been a shell. And so she finds him working on
(41:57):
this shop and she's like, Oh my gosh, this is the perfect place
for the sock Hop, Holiday hop, whatever, can we have it here?
And so they work together to decorate it and get it ready for
the Holiday Hop. That's right.
Yeah, so, and it's a great idea.She uses all her Christmas
connections to kind of make it. It looks awesome, by the way.
(42:18):
It does look awesome. There's great trees and like, it
looks so good. They end up like slow dancing
together. And one note, Mason doesn't wear
a tie. And I thought that was very
disrespectful to Jennifer Love Hewitt and all the work she put
into the party. The least he could do.
She's dressed up in another red blazer, not a Linda Belt Belcher
(42:38):
blazer, but but it's a glitter blazer and he had, he's just out
here with no tie, like a crinkled collar, like he's
looking a mess. I was very disappointed in the
wardrobe for this. Oh man, that's tough.
I didn't. I I thought he looked good.
I don't. I don't know.
There you. Go no, it it sloppy.
(43:01):
No sloppy. I bet you terrible.
The last time that you thought you looked good and Patrick
Serrano was in town, he probablyhad thoughts.
Yeah. I'm going to I'm going to start
sending you a daily fit checks and you can let me know if
they're doing. That Oh fine.
Yeah. OK, so.
Patrick's like I'm in. She doesn't think that he looks
a mess. She she like, makes out with him
(43:22):
and all the townspeople are, like, cheering them on.
Yeah, you go. They, yeah, they really are into
it. The family finally comes back
and they're like, Oh my gosh, our house is amazing.
We love it. You're hired forever.
And Jennifer Hewitt's like, yay,OK, good.
You like it. And I don't know how it comes up
but she ends up crying again andrunning away.
(43:44):
Look at these tears. Look at her.
Look at her crying. And she's really like, And this
is the sixth time in the movie. Could be 10th.
Wow. This is like the big cry, like
the yeah. The Showstopper.
Yeah, yeah, because. Yeah, I think it's just one of
those like, I guess my job's done here, type, type things,
you know what I mean? It doesn't something happen
(44:05):
where like Jennifer Love Hewitt's like talking to the
family and she's like, Oh yeah, this is Mason and she's like
going to say like my boyfriend and he says like Co worker.
Well, yeah, something like that.And but, but she I think like
she wanted him to like come likewant to go with her or
(44:26):
something. I don't know.
Whatever it is, they get upset with each other or she gets
upset with him and then yeah, when?
When they walk in, she says it was nice to meet you, Mason.
And then walks off. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, it's good. And then we've got our Jennifer
Love Hewitt song. We've all been waiting and it's
I'm missing you at all. I'm missing you since you've
(44:47):
been gone. That's really good.
I am missing you at all. I think it's Tina Turner.
Yeah, it's good. Missing you at all?
Missing you? Well, who is that?
I think it's Tina Turner. Right, I think it is.
Well, she does a cover of it and.
Serrano, if you ask me, that's. Right.
(45:08):
There you go. But that was the song.
I thought it was going to be a Christmas song, but it was just
a she just felt like singing, covering Tina.
Yeah, why wouldn't you? Why wouldn't you?
So yes, we get funding for Jennifer Hewitt's business.
It's called Holiday Junkie 2 Point O Yay.
(45:29):
Awesome. What a terrible name.
Yeah, she calls her mom, leaves her voicemail, and it's like, I
did it. Where can it?
Where can it be great. And then in my notes I wrote,
and her mother comes back to LayI.
Love it. Well, that would have been it.
But she doesn't. No, she just reconciles with
Mason. Mason has an idea.
He wants to use the storefront. What for?
(45:51):
For Jennifer Le Hewitt's. Business and.
You know they can. Just so happen that I have.
It I have the storefront I've done nothing with for years.
Just so happens. Right, yeah, and he said, he
said you don't have to pay rent,you just have to pay me with
bait. Got them.
And he loves. He loves Christmas, he loves
her. They kiss.
(46:11):
The movie does the thing where it flashes through all the
scenes but from when they first met.
The few weeks you remember it. That's something else I really
despise, but yes. I was on the fence on this movie
and you saying that made my decision for me.
Wow I hate that. Hate it.
Well, it. Feels a solid 2 minutes.
(46:33):
It does, it does, but we'd also,we did just see it, But that is
the movie and I, I since you were already going into your
thing, I guess it's time for us to pour it up and put a cork in
it. Yeah, I got to put a cork in it.
I enjoyed this and I I think that I would enjoy seeing
Jennifer Love you. It do like the like act, you
know, you know, and and do this thing and it sounds like a
decent premise, but all of the sads of it and the fact that the
(46:57):
conflict sounds like it's barelythere and then he happens to own
a storefront. There's so many things that
bothered me. And then the montage that is the
worst. If you are not in Night
Shyamalan showing us all the ways we missed the twist, or a
three hour epic that spans decades to remind you of the
building relationship, you cannot show me a montage of the
(47:18):
last 80 minutes I just watched. I hate that.
Put a cork in it. All right, enthusiastic.
That's right, yeah. I listen, I am notoriously not
big on the Sads. I don't I have a hard time with
them. But this movie did win me over.
I thought she was great and I thought the two leads, you know,
(47:38):
they're married in real life andsometimes that bites you in
these movies. But they had steamy chemistry.
They're great together. And so, and it helps that the
sads actually have some meat to them.
Like she's so good at crying. She cries a lot.
And if it wasn't for the ridiculous What's the Worst
(48:00):
Christmas You've Ever had game, I would have liked this movie a
lot more. I hated that game.
I thought it was an awful way toget to the point of where they
all share their things because it's just not.
It's not a thing that you would do for mozzarella stick.
And so that was close to me putting a cork in it.
But the movie won me over. I'm pouring it up.
(48:21):
Yeah, so you mentioned the couple being an actual couple
and it being steamy. It was almost too steamy.
I felt a little uncomfortable with the make outs.
They were really making out. There was not an intimacy
coordinator on set. They were just.
We got this one. We got this one, guys.
Yeah, Jennifer, love you. It's like I got it.
Like we're cool. We we know what's up.
(48:42):
So yeah, that was a little steamy, the mom dying thing.
I I think if you have gone through that, maybe this would
be some type of catharsis or something like that.
So I think it might be a good one to watch.
I was watching with my mom. I watched these Christmas movies
with my mom and I'm like, mom, you could never die.
(49:02):
I could never watch these. Like what?
Like what the hell, it's been a.Big year for for for dead
parents. And I think this one, this one,
it that's, it's the whole ball game like.
Yeah. That's yeah, so.
It's right, it's not a plot point.
This isn't for everybody. This movie is definitely not for
everybody, but they do deal withit.
(49:23):
Yeah. So I think that that was a
different spin on the dead parent thing, you know, actually
grieving, Yeah, instead of just having it be a plot point.
So I would pour it up for that reason.
There are a lot of, like, annoying things like director
choices like the montage and stuff like that.
But overall, it's the best Lifetime's going to give us.
(49:46):
Maybe we'll see if Marcus Rosnercan can top Jennifer F Hewitt.
Wow, that's right, that's right.We that that does bring us that
does bring us to our, our last tag, the light time on court.
We're taking next week off for Christmas and then we'll be back
on New Year's Eve, I believe with our final one.
What's it called? Engaged for Christmas.
(50:06):
Engaged engaging. By.
Christmas got it. Friends of the Show, Britt
Bristow and Marcus Rozers in that one.
So that's going to be a fun way to love out the season for sure.
Support Patrick Live term ofcourt.com co-5.com/patrick
Toronto. There you go.
Maybe we'll get to egg out. Ten.
(50:27):
I love that everybody do it right now unless you're driving.
Get to. We'll do.
Let's get to 25 by 2025. 25 by 25, I love that.
For bold, bold statement. Anything else for the people,
Patrick? Oh, well, I was just going to
say, what are you doing? New Year's New.
Year's Eve. That's it, I'm.
(50:47):
Going to be hanging out with you, that's what we're.
Going to be doing that's right, can't wait.
Can't wait. If if, if you're lucky, we might
be able to do it right at midnight, we'll do this and then
we'll segue right into the. We'll countdown to countdown
together, of course, yes. Fine, yeah.
I don't know, but all right, Merry.
Christmas, Patrick. Merry Christmas.
I hope you enjoy it. Until next time, maybe the 1st
to wish you a Merry Christmas. Deck the Hallmarks of Brabel Jam
(51:10):
podcast is produced by Aaron Shea.
For more information on Deck theHomework, you can go to
deckthehallmark.com. For more information on the Deck
the Hallmark family, you can go to bramblejamplus.com.
Deck the Hallmark is presented by Philo TV.
For a free trial of Philo, go tophilo.tv/DTH.
Hi, I'm Brandon. I love Lifetime Christmas
movies. I'm Patrick Serrano and I'm a
Lifetime movie expert. I'm Dan and I despise lifetime
Christmas movies and this is thedeck.
The Hallmark Podcast. Well, hello, Hello, boy.
(00:33):
How are we? I mean, it's the 21st brand.
Yeah, we're right there. I know we're.
Doing it, dude. Christmas morning, this morning,
when you said four days till Christmas, I thought, I thought
you were going to lose. I thought that was it.
I thought your voice was gone. You were.
It was. Losing my mind.
Patrick. Hello, Happy Saturday before
Christmas to you. Are you all ready for Christmas?
Do you have all your shopping done and whatnot?
(00:56):
Yeah, you know, we just do the nephews now.
The kids will get presents. The adults, you know, you're on
your own. Check your, check your bank
account. You know you might have a A Zell
in there. A Check your bank account.
You might have a Zell when you're getting a Zell that is as
laid back as as it gets. For might get a Zell.
Check your bank account. You might have a Zell.
But if you're just passing around Zells like if you're
(01:19):
that, someone's going to lose out on.
That right, Is there a decided amount of money for the Zelle
Pass? Everybody sends everybody $20 be
a Zelle. Right.
Well, usually my dad sends the most Zelle and then everybody,
everybody else, you know, if you're, if they like you,
they'll send you. Something.
Let's see what Dad sends and then we'll go.
We'll send very yes, we'll. Vary that, yeah.
(01:40):
I love that. I like that.
Dude, you're getting a Zell. I think that's great.
That's very exciting. How?
Have they not tapped into that as a as any sort of advertising?
We need to, we need to send somebody over there.
Like it's just a, it's a, it's like a party, a Christmas party
is like, why didn't you get me agift?
And you're like. Dude, you're getting a Zell
that's really good. What do?
We do like, why are we here? Yeah, we need to be in a
(02:01):
boardroom. Somewhere heck out of this.
Just taking a quick gander, as Itypically do to Lifetime on
cork.com. You you do the most this time of
year. You are you're covering
everything, including a a relatively large batch as of
this week of BET plus movies that Oh yeah, came, came out of
(02:26):
nowhere. If someone is going to watch one
BET Plus Christmas movie this weekend, which one should they
watch? OK, so there's 1 based on a
Richard Pryor movie that I wasn't familiar with, but I
guess it's like a big movie. It's called Baxter or not
Baxter. Brewster's Millions.
(02:47):
Brewster's Millions. The classic.
Yeah, so the colon. Christmas.
Yeah, Booster Brewster's Millions.
Christmas. I'm not.
Yeah. Oh, I'm ruining the pitch.
In the in the porch meetings. Richard Pryor's daughter, isn't
it? Wow.
Is it good? And she's good, yeah.
(03:08):
And it's good, yeah. So basically it's, you know,
that whole thing, like you can'tget the your inheritance until
you do the good things. But it's the the sister.
The sister from Family matters. Oh, Laura Kelly, Shanine
Williams or the other sister? No, no, not not the young
sisters, the aunt, the auntie, the auntie, not Judy.
(03:29):
Got it. She's the the grandma and she's
like, you got to provide a home for somebody.
Oh, Joe Marie Peyton that you'retalking about.
We're talking about the Yes, themom got it.
Yeah, not the mom, the mom's sister, Rachel.
Yeah, Rachel. Got it.
You've said Rachel, you've said yes to everyone.
You said sister, and then you said.
(03:51):
Patrick, you've thrown out multiple people and Patrick has
said yes to all. That's right.
Yes. Yes.
That's right. That's one.
That's it. You got.
That's the ticket. So she has to provide a home,
she has to provide a, a, a kids wish with no money, you know,
like not a not a not a Dolly or a a rocking chair.
She has to give him like an experience or something and then
(04:15):
a fine love or whatever. And it's just really good.
Yeah, it's a little, it's a little long.
It needs some editing. Like all the BET ones that they
they run it like it's a full movie, full length.
They're going like an hour 46. They're going they don't have
anyone's rules. Really dive into this character
with. Hallmark plus movies.
They still stuck it in. 84 Yeah,they still.
(04:35):
Stuck to it, yeah. There's no, there's no cuts for
commercials. It's like a, it's like a movie
movie. They they filmed them like
they're a movie movie. So so yeah, there's some editing
that could be done, but that would be the best.
Patrick I I see like podcasters and and different like content
creators always say like this, they have this link so they can
buy a coffee. Do you do that?
Where you have like a link whereyou can just like buy Patrick a
(04:57):
coffee? Do you do that?
Yeah, the the coffee, the Kofi coffee, they smell it.
They spell it weird. Guys, no one were like, Brandon
is the hardest working man in Christmas podcasting.
He has that title. There's nothing I can do about
that. But.
I mean I got 2 daily. Shows running a theater in, you
know, in, in Maryland and he's watching basically every movie
(05:20):
and writing about it. Go buy this man a coffee.
Like just go do it. Like it's, it's I like coffee,
you know? A well, I I changed mine to
wine. I changed mine to wine.
So I said buy me a glass of wine.
You know like like 5 bucks. Buy this man a glass of wine.
A glass of wine. It's more than 5 bucks these
days but I thought it was like rude to ask for like.
Ko-fi.com/patrick Serrano. That's how you do it.
(05:45):
It's that easy. If you're listening right now,
go buy this guy a glass of wine.I mean, he's just, it's just,
he's just working constantly watching movies.
I can't imagine at 11 at PM starting a movie.
Aaron Shea. Hi, Aaron.
Hey, at this time of year Deck the Hallmark has a really great
naked wine code. That's true.
So. You could get a bottle of wine
for seven dollars. That's true, yeah.
(06:07):
nakedwines.com/deck the Hallmarkis the best deal we've probably
ever offered. You know you.
Could buy You could buy Patrick 6 bottles of wine that's right
for the price. Of, you know what I think we're
going to do? You're Chris.
I think we've determined that I prefer the Zelle guys.
You're getting. Cell.
I was gonna, I was gonna say we'll send you some naked wine,
but maybe we'll just send you the cell.
We'll send you the dude. You're getting cell.
You're getting cell, you're getting.
(06:28):
Right, right. No.
I had a wine in a Secret Santa at a work party and I was like,
obviously I'm picking the wine if I'm picking 1st and then you
know, it got stolen of course. Was it a white elephant or a
Secret Santa? Oh, it was a white elephant.
They can't. Steal your gift in Secret Santa.
That's illegal, no? Matter how hard they try.
Oh, wait, wait a minute. I think people are pulling one
(06:49):
over on me. Yeah.
So, you know, I've got one. I've got 1 covered.
What'd you? Oh, so you got it?
You stole it back. No, I didn't.
I just want, I just wanted to end the story nicely.
I ended up getting like a bunch of like stupid, like a coffee
mug and a cocoa, a cocoa mix andI was like, God, I don't want
(07:12):
this. But that's always how it happens
you. Can send that to me.
That sounds nice. Yeah.
Really. I love Cocoa.
Oh, I will. It's a It's a 12 Days of
Christmas Cocoa Tasting 12. That's the number of days, Brian
12. Days off.
I don't need it from you. I'm having a moment with
Patrick. OK, that sounds wonderful.
All right, I'll, I'll send you the I'll send you the box, but
(07:33):
it's it's all just junk. God, it just made me so mad.
I bought a beautiful jade stone to bring you wealth in the new
year and you I I charged it withthe moon.
Come on guys. Do you think that someone's at
home with their jade stone going?
I can't believe this is the junkI got.
I brought hot chocolate 12 different types.
(07:56):
This is freaking charged with the moon.
What good is that to me? The.
Girl, the girl who got the the the jade, she got the jade
stone. She was not happy.
So so Kiefer. Kiefer is my Co worker.
Kiefer he all day long. Yeah, yeah, he took he took the
jade. He traded with her and he was
like, this is really cool. I like this present.
(08:16):
And I was like good. It's a cool present.
It's what I would have wanted. That's so fun, I love it.
Oh, I just got a Kofi. Oh my gosh.
Wow. We're just telling you that it's
the magic. Why about that?
Is this magic? Is it enough to buy a new jade?
The jade was like, you know, $25.00 at, what's it called,
(08:37):
HomeGoods. HomeGoods got it.
Sponsored by HomeGoods. Sponsored by HomeGoods.
Everybody right now coko-fi.com/patricktoronto.
That's that's all there is to it.
And you you can leave a little message too, which.
Is Oh, wow. Yeah, the the words of
affirmation count Giovanni. Thanks, Kristen.
See, Kristen said glass of wine for your service.
(08:59):
Thank. You, Kristen.
Kristen above and beyond. Unbelievable.
Yeah. Are we doing a pledge driver?
Now, somebody if some, if we get3 Kofi's by the time we're done,
then that's right. All right, let's do Holiday
junkie. That's what we're talking about
today. Yeah.
Jennifer Love. A drug addict that loves the
holidays, The Jenner. I wish I win.
(09:21):
The Jennifer Love Hewitt vehicle.
Yeah. Acted directed.
Did she write it? No, no.
Anna White wrote it but did did it all.
She's she's. Story by story by.
Yes, yes, I was excited about this one.
Oh, me too. I think this is this is it.
So I didn't like I I don't really know anything about
(09:43):
Jennifer Love Hewitt. Wow.
I know. I know the name Jennifer Love.
Hewitt, you did last summer. Right.
And I just watched, I know you did, last summer for the first
time this Halloween. I had a good time.
I had a good time. And so I was excited.
What are? You waiting for?
What are you waiting for? That's great.
Very good, aren't they? Aren't they doing Then they just
sign on for? She's just sign on for another
(10:03):
one, right? It's been very dramatic with the
the announcement of the new one.Did you guys hear all the
dramas? Sarah Michelle Gellar and you.
Call her the Gal, the Gal the Gal Gal and love.
They apparently are like have some bad blood, but it's really
it's on the DL like they're they're like saying like, Oh no,
(10:24):
we're friends. But like you can tell.
But they did. They both have officially signed
on, right? Well, Sarah Michelle Gellar,
interestingly enough, her character died in the first one,
so I don't know how she's comingback, but she's coming back.
I was thinking that and didn't want to spoil it for anybody,
but also like, yeah, that. But I mean, it's never stopped a
horror movie before. I mean, they made 1000 Halloween
movies and like, you know, it's fine.
(10:44):
They just I've seen. And I've seen Scream 76.
Whatever it is, the last scream was a joke.
How many people stayed? A lot.
Yeah. We got let's do this.
We could we We can do this. Yes, the holiday junkie.
Take it away, Patrick. Oh, right, right.
Yeah. So you know, well, but we're
talking about Jennifer Lef Hewitt and and Jennifer Lef
Hewitt is naturally the the drawof this movie, right.
So she's coming in, she wrote, she directed.
(11:07):
This is based on her. She lost her mother, I think
recently, so this is like a tribute to her mother.
Oh, OK, so the the tears. She didn't have to work very
hard. No, the motivation was easy
there she. Cries a lot in this movie and I
was very impressed by it, but now knowing that she was easily
able to. Now that you know her mom just
(11:27):
died, you're not impressed by it.
I'm weirdly enough less so, you know, it's like when it just
happened. You could pull it really,
really, really quickly and but but I will say.
I'm working for your trauma. There were multiple scenes where
I got a kick out of the fact knowing that she's directing
this movie. And so I'm in my mind thinking
(11:49):
through she's giving the direction and then she's like, I
need 3 seconds. Then she starts crying action.
And so that happens multiple times in this movie where the
scene kind of just kind of starts and she's crying already.
And so thinking through how do you direct yourself and the
crew? Yeah, right as you're about to
cry with that. There's a lot going on, lots of
(12:09):
lots of juggling going on by Jennifer Love, which is very,
very impressive. I'm back to being very
impressed. OK, good.
But we it was a journey. But we.
Made I came, I came all over andthe guy in this movie is her
real life husband. That's correct.
Her real life husband. I think her kids are in a.
Family or? Something like, yeah, she's got,
she really did the whole thing. And just one more thing about
(12:30):
the crying. So, Dan, you didn't see the
movie? Nope.
So you don't know how pretty hercrying is, but think you know
Claire Danes crying, right? Yes.
The the ugliest crier of Claire Danes.
Yeah, it it's the complete opposite of that.
Think no lines on the face. Beautiful tears.
To symmetrical. She's she's still able to.
(12:53):
Like talk, you know, while she'scrying, which is always
impressive. But she's.
Really crying yeah, she's reallycrying.
You know, she might make like a frown.
Yeah, once to show she's sad, but but yeah, it's it's really
impressive. I've.
Not seen Jennifer Love you anything.
I didn't watch the show she was on on on CBS Ghost whisperer.
(13:14):
I mean, I've, I think teenage mewas a big fan, but I don't.
Of course you were. I don't like big that was that
was a big draw of I just I know what you did last summer.
I, I don't, I don't know if I'veseen her in anything since then.
I, I, I might have, I don't know.
I honestly don't. But good to hear she's a great
crier. Yes, you, I mean, you definitely
(13:35):
weren't watching Party of Five. No, no, no, I did not get to
party of five. Right.
I'm like, there's no way. Me neither really.
Me neither really. There's How dare you, Patrick,
But you're right. Yeah.
All right, so Jennifer left Hewitt.
She runs a business in this. It's called The Holiday Junkie.
Oh wow. Yes, it's today for the movie.
(13:56):
We get it right out of the beginning and the mother and her
started the business together. Yes, and early on in the movie,
you know, you don't know that mom's dead because she's calling
her mom and is leaving her a voicemail.
And I I felt like I remember from the preview show that her
(14:19):
mom was dead. And so I was like, oh, her mom's
not dead yet. And then is apparently just a
thing she does. She calls her mom and she leaves
voice guys even though she's already passed.
Hey update, I have seen JenniferLove you a couple times since I
know what you did last night. The tuxedo Jackie Chan movie,
Garfield the movie. I saw her there.
She's briefly in Tropic Thunder,which I saw and can't hardly
(14:43):
wait. So I've seen all of those
things. So there you go.
She's been around more than I thought.
Well, that's the thing. She sneaks up on you.
She. Does she sneaks up on you?
Yeah. She's sneaky.
And in this movie it's really fun because, you know, her mom's
dead, but she keeps talking about her mom and people assume
that the mom's alive. The way she's talking, she's
like, oh, me and my mom run thisbusiness and they're like, oh,
(15:03):
that's so fun. Your mom sounds great.
And she's like, it's almost likeshe she like, sadly, like walks
away, like, like foreshadowing or whatever.
And Dan, I have, I have to show you this image on my website.
So. So for the first, I don't know,
(15:24):
hour of the movie, she's wearingthis red suit jacket, like
blouse and red glasses. And she looks like Linda
Belcher. Belcher, Belcher.
Yeah. Linda Belcher from Bob's
Burgers. Oh my God, she does.
She it just was on my mind the whole time.
Like to have made the. Red jackets, but and the red or
(15:46):
the red glasses it's. Crazy shout out to Bob's
Burgers. A fun time.
Yeah, you know, I like I, I, I had my moment with Bob's
Burgers. OK, so she has this.
There's a client, a big client, the Parker family, they have a,
a beautiful house, MC Mansion, if you will, and she's going to
(16:08):
decorate it, plan the holidays for them.
And it's going to be her big opportunity to get a venture
capitalist to, you know, give her more money.
That's right. So the holiday junkie doesn't
just come in and decorate your house, They also plan your whole
Christmas gathering, basically. So the Parker family was going
out of town and when they came back, they wanted the whole
(16:29):
house decorated and then like a bunch of Christmas activities
that they could do as a family. OK.
So not like scheduling family Christmas parties.
I'm sure that they could, that they, but Holly Junkie can do.
We're gonna go sledding or ice skating.
I love. This an itinerary basically for
your Christmas gatherings. But she really wants an investor
because her dream is to get intothe consumer side.
(16:49):
She want she has all these mock ups of different like Christmas
decorations that she wants to make and so her goal is to
impress the Parker family, get some money and then begin to
make her own Christmas decoration.
Standard. Yeah, got it.
Yep, and so when she gets to thehouse she has a lesbian best
friend. Just throwing that out there.
(17:11):
OK, doesn't really have much influence on the plot, but I
thought the lesbian best friend was funny.
She wasn't shout out. And she gets to the house and of
course, there's a hunky handyman, you know, hammering
away and she's like, what are you doing here?
I'm supposed to be decorating the house.
And he's like, what are you doing here?
I'm the house manager. And they, they like, have like a
tense little thing going. And he's like, your job's fake.
(17:34):
And she's like you're face. Face Yeah, you might be
wondering, Dan, it wouldn't the house manager's job to be
decorating for Christmas. It sounds like it would be it
it, and it should be. But he doesn't do Christmas.
He doesn't do. Christmas, you need to know that
he doesn't. Do it and you might be wondering
why he doesn't want to talk about it.
You don't want to talk? No.
Well, I should. Lose another 20 minutes.
(17:55):
I'm sure we'll unpack that laterand it'll have something to do
with a dead relative, but right now we're not going to.
Surprisingly know Wow OK or Avion pins and needles OK.
Right. And Mason is the the hunk's name
like, you know, he's the handyman.
Masonry, We're tying it together.
Masonry. Did you?
Combine Masonry and Missionary. Oh, right.
(18:17):
Masonry. Masonry in the masonry.
Position. Yeah, it's a.
It's an ingredient. Hi, I'm a masonry, I spread the
gospel of Mason work. That's right.
Right, right. There you go.
He's not the only person to dragJennifer Love Hewitt job.
Like everyone she meets in this town is like your job sounds
fake. Your job is made-up your job.
(18:37):
They're like so rude. Like if some you know, like I'm
sure you guys have this with your job.
You're like, I'm a podcaster andthey're like, what does that
mean? Or what do you mean?
Your job's fake. Yeah.
The difference between US and love, though, in this, I call
her love person is we try to getahead of it.
We do. We always go like we're
podcasters. It's not a real job.
(18:58):
We we say the thing first. I never say I watch Christmas
movies for. I say I run a podcast network.
It's it's weird. It's silly.
Yeah, we try to do my because. We know what people are
thinking. We understand.
Because you're they're immediately going to go, I like
podcasts. What kind of podcast do you do?
And that's where it gets really silly because if I was like, you
know, running a podcast network with a bunch of true crimes on
(19:20):
there, it would be like true crime.
And then the conversation's overor they want to tell me about
their true crime. But as soon as I'm like, oh,
it's TV Christmas movies mainly.There's just no recovering.
You don't, there's no recovering.
You just you're down a path at that point.
So, you know, we try to get up in front of it this weekend.
But love does not. No.
Well, yeah, she needs you guys as you guys should become weird
job coaches. True.
(19:41):
And then coach people with with weird jobs how to oppress.
I love that holiday party. Dude, you're getting Zell.
It it works so. Well it well it does so well.
Or you could say it it works so zell.
OK, OK all. Right, we're having fun.
All right, all right. So no, no, no, not.
(20:04):
I'm well. I can always get a laugh out of
Patrick. With this, Patrick heard that
wasn't a song. He couldn't he couldn't handle
it. I.
Love it. OK, sorry, sorry.
We're having fun. OK, so they work together, but
not together. Well, you know, they're like
getting a Christmas tree. The vendor cancels.
Like things are happening, right?
And Mason has a friend in high school who like, he's from the
(20:30):
town, so. They're townies.
Townies. They're townies and these
friends are not pivotal to the plot, but I thought this actor
was notable. Greg Greenberg.
Do you guys remember Greg? He's been on the podcast.
We know. Greg, he's.
Been on our show? Yeah, friend of the show Greg.
Your friends. Friend of the show Greg.
And of. Course, and Greg's job in this
(20:50):
movie is to just be silly and laugh.
That's basically his whole gig. Yeah, my picture of him on the
blog is just him laughing. I think he's laughing in every
scene that he's in. Even in a scene that's coming
up, which is anything but funny,he still finds a way to to
laugh. So shout out to Grand.
(21:11):
Yeah, I mean, well, he was, he'salways been like on.
He's like a Where's Waldo of like TV and film, you know?
Yeah, Heroes, Star Wars Lifetime.
He's all over the map. Oh, see, you missed.
You missed my, my gateway, Felicity.
He was in Felicity. Felicity.
Yeah, Gateway Grundberg was Felicity.
Yeah, for sure. Gateway Grundberg last year.
Really good. Show right.
(21:31):
They opened for Tony Masonry. Yeah, Masonry, sorry.
Thing but but he doesn't really do these Christmas Eve movies so
I I'm like he must be like a personal friend of Jennifer Love
Hewitt's and she's like hey, you're funny.
Can you be in this movie please?I I got a lot of dead bomb stuff
in this. I need you to like punch it up.
Yeah, that's right. I think he is a fan of the the
genre, though. That's right.
I think there's yeah, if the opportunity came knocking.
(21:54):
I I wasn't, I was surprised to see him and then I wasn't.
He reviewed a movie with us on. That's a good toes, Yeah, wasn't
even. Christmas OK, well, you know,
dream come true then he gets hishe gets his Christmas movie
check and you know he's in the the one of the season the
Jennifer Lev Hewitt. One.
That's right. Big deal.
We love it. Prestige.
So Jennifer Love Hewitt Hewitt meets these high school friends.
(22:15):
They are making fun of Mason andtalking about a time when he
peed his pants. Yeah.
And this guy peed his pants at school.
And it was so funny. And it made me think about,
like, everyone knows the kid that peed their pants at school,
right? Can you guys like think like to
your school experience and like you vividly have a memory of
(22:36):
someone pee in their pants? No.
No. No, I'm sorry.
Is it just me? I I can't say the name, but it
was one girl. She.
She. She.
She. I can't say her name.
It's. Inappropriate.
The name is inappropriate. Well, it's I I don't want to
call them out, you know, we'll just call.
Them. We'll just call them Jessica.
(23:00):
Lounge. Jessica Lounge.
Yes, Jessica Lounge, my personalfriend in in math class, she's
like raising her hand and the teacher's like, you cannot go to
the bathroom. We are like doing this,
whatever. And she's like, OK, and she's
like really, really waiting. And then she she's like raises
her hand. He's like, you can't not go.
(23:20):
We're doing this thing. And she like, like couldn't hold
it. And then she just like, Peed and
everybody in the classroom like,Oh my God, Oh my God.
That's good thing and. You know, we're like then then
it's like, well, she should havelet her go to the bathroom.
That T-shirt. Looks like that's a bad You
could sue that teacher. Right.
How old? Was Jessica Collins.
(23:41):
That was probably 6th grade. 6thgrade.
Oh my God. Yes, that's what that's what I'm
saying. That's what I'm saying the.
Number one rule of teaching middle school is you.
You. Yeah, we'll just stop there.
That's the number. Like you have to let her go to
the bathroom. Like you just can't.
Do that. That's tough.
It was bad. It was bad.
So so yes. Because also in the story that
(24:04):
they're telling, Mason pieces pants in high school, he's in
high school. It's not like a little kid.
So these are like grown-ups, like pee in their pants, you
know? Would have had a memory, but
after potty training two boys, it's like if you say, pee their
pants, I just think of my kid, you know, and you're like at 3
1/2 at the trampoline. Park I got, I got a lot of.
I think he's potty trained, but he didn't want to stop jumping,
(24:25):
you know what I mean? That's the.
Those are the stories that I have.
Yeah. You know, it's the PTSD of
keeping a change of you. Gotta tell you gotta tell the
worker. And my kid peed all the That's
right. Trampoline.
Yeah. Oh, you do that right.
Oh, you told him. Wow.
Interesting. I just say jump away, man, jump
away. What's done is done.
Swing away. Swing away.
But yes, in the middle of all this pee pee talk, imagine,
(24:46):
imagine us. We're talking about all these
funny things and then all of a sudden Jennifer loves you.
It's like my mom died and then she runs away.
OK, She runs off. So that's how we get it out
finally. That's the big reveal.
That is the big reveal, and it'salso the big time for the break.
I don't know. Let's take a quick break.
We'll come back. We'll get to the rest of the
Holiday Junkie here on the Hallmark.
(25:17):
Welcome back everybody. It was a good place.
It was a good place for Buddy. I'm ready.
I'm ready. My my Kofi update.
We we hit we hit the goal, we hit three.
Wow. So Holly G, of course, Holly.
G. Holly G does not need to buy me
anything because we always just hang out and, like, drink more
(25:40):
stronger things than wine together.
More stronger, more stronger. Yeah, she says, big hugs. 3
exclamation marks, which means she really means it.
And then Julie C says cheers, exclamation mark, 2 glasses of
wine. Wow.
Wow. Which is incredible.
And then somebody anonymously bought one an anonymous.
(26:01):
There it is. There's the one.
So you're up to four? Oh my.
Gosh, I'm already slurring my words.
It's so many glasses of wine, mygosh.
Christmas is starting. It is. 6:00 in the morning we.
Didn't mention I'm also drinkingthe glasses of wine in real
time. Yes, we're going through the
podcast. Kofi is a miracle website.
They just kind of pop out of thescreen.
Shot of the screen, yeah. Yeah, if you want to hear me
(26:22):
actually do that, go back in thearchives.
That's how I used to record the podcast.
Used to drink with actual wine. Yeah, that's right.
Every every episode we record like 4 episodes back-to-back.
And you start drinking in the 1st episode.
Drinking first episode and then you know your next guest will
bring a bottle of wine and who knows what you're saying in
episode 4. Yeah, yeah, fantastic.
(26:44):
I would have. I would have to, I would have to
listen back and be like, OK, let's make sure I didn't say
anything. Totally terrible.
Yeah, yeah. My question was the Wild West
back then. Those are the 20 teens, you
know. It was 2016, you know, And the
best part about that would be like, I would be like listening
to the conversation. And then I would say what I was
(27:04):
thinking. I, I wanted to say.
And I'm like, yeah, I said what I wanted.
To say, you know, what is funny about that is occasionally I'll
go back to older episodes and I'll hear like Dan say something
and then I will think about a joke that I want to respond
with. And then I make that joke all
the time and I'm like, oh, wow, I I'm so consistent.
Consistent. Yes, yeah.
(27:26):
Yes. So if you were wondering if
we're a narcissist before, we are totally listening to
ourselves on tape. That's right, I'm laughing at
my. Own time in the world, there's
nothing I can do. Hey, you know, it's fun.
OK, so back back to Jennifer Love Hewitt, our girl.
She gets to decorating. She wakes up and Mason is
shirtless and he's like she's walking around and she's like,
(27:51):
you're naked. He's like I've just had my shirt
off like relax, but he like helps her like hang up like more
like intricate designs and stuffcan.
I ask a question about shirtlesspeople.
Yes, OK. Well, I just I like I haven't
been around like this has never happened to me.
OK, so I've never like been in apublic setting where someone's
just randomly shirtless aside from like a swimming pool or the
(28:14):
beach or whatever, where it's acceptable.
That's right. But like, I have to imagine if I
do see that, I, you just kind ofroll with it, right?
Like if you if you see somebody shirtless, do you do you freak
out like Love did? Like like how she just kind of
turned around and she's like, Ohmy gosh, like, or do you just
kind of roll with it? I think if you're sexually
(28:37):
attracted to them, maybe you would.
So it's just like an immediate like, oh wow, how about how I'm
not going? To be able to concentrate if you
don't put your shirt. On right, right.
But if it's just like, you know,some random like guy and he's
just like hot and takes the shirt off walking around, you
know? Like like I do around the
office. Well, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's
pretty. Regular.
Yeah. Or I'm thinking like in yoga
(28:59):
class, like if someone takes their shirt off.
Like, I almost took my shirt offit was so hot the other day in
yoga class. But I don't because I think it's
like a privilege that men have that women don't.
So I I'm like, if they have to keep their shirts on, then I'm
going to keep my shirt. Wow.
Yeah. How about that?
Yes. But sometimes guys take their
shirts off in yoga class. And usually if they're a hunky
man, I'm like, oh, whoa, oh. Wow.
(29:20):
And you don't know what to do with you.
It's an instinctual hubba. Hubba.
That's right. It is it.
Is OK. OK, great.
All right, carry on. Yes, women and gay men Ogle
shirtless men too, so don't worry guys.
OK. Thank you.
Good, good. So there's a she finds like a
wedding invitation. This was like confusing to me.
(29:42):
So she finds a wedding invitation for someone named
Claire Egan and Mason. Like it was a wedding from like
last year that got called off and she's like, what is this?
So I think that's like the big secret that we're going to be
revealing later, but we just putit, we put it in our back
pocket. The Parker family keeps getting
like snowed in to wherever they are.
They're in Colorado or something.
(30:04):
They keep like, missing their flight or like their flight gets
cancelled, like they keep it. So it extends the time that
Jennifer Lephewitt and Mason arealone together, right?
Yes, yeah, yeah. It does. 100% does, yeah.
So Jennifer Lephew is starting to have feelings for Mason and
her lesbian, her lesbian friends.
(30:24):
Like, you need to go for it. He's hot.
I, I'm a lesbian and even I think he's hot.
See, like the thing we were talking just talking about,
Sure, there's a cookie swap in town and Jennifer Love Hewitt
accidentally signed the family up.
No, not accidentally. She did sign the family up.
Yes, because she thought they would be back by now, but
they're not. They're not.
So now she has to come up with like so many cookies.
(30:45):
But lucky for her, Mason is likea a incredible Baker.
And I wrote she's baking like a mad woman.
And I thought about this today, like, why do we say mad woman?
Why don't we say mad man or we say mad Hatter?
Why is it mad woman? What?
I've heard madman a lot more than mad woman.
Right. No, you're like, I'm something
like a mad woman. Like I was driving like a mad
(31:07):
woman. No, I I heard like a madman way
more. Really.
Yeah. Let's let's bake it like a
madman. I would never say baking like a
mad woman. I would literally never say
that. Really.
Yeah, I don't know if I've ever heard it, but let's let the
people decide. You can send Patrick a Kofi, and
then in the in the little message line, you can let us
know whether you've heard it. Mad woman or mad man?
(31:29):
Yeah, I always thought it was a mad woman.
I've never heard mad man, really.
I've heard nothing. But mad I've.
Heard I mean it's ATV show. Madman, madman.
Oh you're right, it is ATV show.Yeah, like it's all it's a
that's the phrase is madman, notmadwoman in my like that.
That's how I've always thought of it, but.
We're but. Listen, Patrick, we're not
(31:49):
sexist like you are. So we.
That's right. That's right.
Yeah, yeah. We are just talking.
To you sometimes, yeah, it is. It is.
I know, I know, I know, but thisis a learning opportunity for
me. Yeah, we're all learning.
Failing forward. You're failing forward, Patrick.
So they they plan to like, expand the business.
They're like as they're talking and baking.
(32:10):
You know, yeah, that's when she talks about how she wants to get
into the consumer side. And he talks about how he wants
kids. Yeah.
All right, Yeah, that's a time to bring it up for.
Sure. Oh, you want to expand your
business? I want to expand my family.
It's like one of those like things.
Classic. Right.
And I'm like, not even dating you.
Really. Yeah, really random.
And also he still hates Christmas, don't forget.
(32:33):
And he wants to dress up as Santa, but he's too skinny to
dress up as Santa. And we have not figured out why
he hates. Christmas yet?
No, but it's coming, it's coming.
It's. Coming.
It's coming. It's coming.
And OK, here it is. So we're at, we're at the bar.
We're at the bar. We made it.
Greg Grunberg is there at the bar, of course, and they play
this really fun game. It's, it's called, I guess
(32:57):
something with a mozzie stick, you know, like a mozzarella
stick. There's one mozzarella stick
left. How do you think?
They're going to decide. Who could get a lot of stick?
You got to split it. Yeah, you just split the stick.
There's. Four.
There's four out there. Oh, then it should be two and
two. Oh, you think so?
I think if there's four, there'sfour people.
How many? What if they decide?
(33:17):
How many in this order of sticks?
I don't know, but they don't want to split the stick and So
what they decide to do is play afun game of who has the worst
Christmas story. And that's how we figure out he
doesn't like Christmas for a mozzarella stick.
Yeah, Yeah, we do. As soon as mozzarella sticks
come to the table, I do instant math on how many I should eat.
(33:39):
And what's great? Do you guys not do that?
Like four people, 8 sticks come to the table.
I because I'm going to eat faster than you.
I eat 2 sticks and I stop. Yeah, you get to have
immediately. And then I wait, everybody eats
all theirs and I'm like, hey, I've already had my share.
Anybody want any more of these sticks?
And then if it's fair game, thenI go back for more.
You're fair with your sticks, I will say that.
We do it with wings. We get wings of the office.
(33:59):
I eat my designation wings leftover and then I stop and
then I just eat whatever's left after everybody's finished.
But he doesn't even win the stick though.
No. Yeah, this is the word.
This seems a tough go of it 'cause I don't think that it is
a thing that real people have ever done.
Like I don't think this like, have you ever just gone around
(34:21):
in a circle and be like, what's your worst Christmas memory?
Definitely not. It was so weird, especially.
Like, I don't she's trying. Like, so she opens up.
Her mom died last Christmas. OK, yes.
So she's been dead for a year and she died of cancer.
And you're like, whoa. Well, this is this is time.
She's crying. She's crying.
We're crying. Everyone's crying.
(34:42):
And he's like, I mean, yeah, I guess you win.
But she like finally it's like you have to tell your story.
And so we find out that he was engaged last Christmas to Clary
Egan and she called out and theywere going to get married right
around Christmas. OK.
And she called out the the engagement like 2 days before
the wedding because she wants totravel or something.
She. Didn't want to.
(35:03):
She didn't want to have kids. She didn't want to.
Have kids she wants to previous Christmas so it's.
Fresh. It's fresh.
So that makes sense why he doesn't want to do.
Christmas. Yeah.
So he that's why he hates Christmas and but it's.
Yeah, it's not the best story. Yeah, she wins the stick, no
question about it. Yeah, but I mean, how many
sticks did each person have? That's all I'm asking.
We got to figure it out, but Jennifer Love Hewitt cries
(35:26):
beautifully and she eats a mozzarella stick.
So classically, yeah, OK. Classically.
She like, she like take, she like looks at.
You and look at her with that mozzarella.
Stick. Yeah, she like, like she looks a
little bit. I've never seen anybody eat a
mozzarella stick so well. No one looks good eating
mozzarella sticks, right? Like the cheese is all like
stringy and it's coming down. It gets stuck in your beer.
(35:48):
Cheese and have a beer, but you know what I mean.
I mean, Jennifer Love Hewitt crushing crushing the stick
game. Her nails Her nails look
amazing. Her nails did look really good
there. Goodness.
I'm. Really doing, you know, and
that's that's the difference between, you know, somebody
who's been behind the camera nowshe's directing, right?
She's she's paying attention to the details.
(36:08):
She knows that matter. Well, she's also a veteran of
the screen. I think she's had 30 plus years
to practice eating. The mozzarella she knows.
Exactly how what takes she's going to get, that's what takes
she's going to use. It took years and years and
years of acting for her to figure out the perfect way to
eat a mozzarella. How many?
There's over 100 Ghost whipper, whipper, the ghost whipper,
ghost whipper, ghost whipper. I'm going to kill this ghost.
(36:30):
Do you whip that ghost? The Ghost Whisper.
There's over. 100 episodes of that.
She's in probably every scene ofevery episode.
She ate 1 mozzarella stick. During the ghost.
Whipper show, right? I mean, I don't know, I couldn't
get it, she seemed. Too comfortable.
I have to imagine she's. She, yeah, she's had her fair
share of mozzarella sticks. Yeah, yeah.
(36:50):
All right, so once your a winterstorm comes.
In no one segue is quite like Patrick.
OK, OK. Gosh.
Whippers got to be honest with you.
We talked about the monster sticks longer than I
anticipated. You brought it up, Patrick.
Let's move on. I did bring it up.
I did bring it up. The family's still stuck in the
Rocky Mountains. Jennifer Love Hewitt is very
worried because how are they going to invest if they don't
(37:12):
see all the hard work she's doing?
You know, right? Yeah, of course, what it wastes
like. What heck.
So they have a lot of extra timeon their hands.
So Mason and Jennifer left. You go to her city apartment and
decorate that, and she gets out all her mom's decorations and
talks about them all. And you know, they're talking
about Christmas and everything. And there's a present that her
(37:32):
mom was going to give her last Christmas, and she hasn't opened
it. She's been waiting, you know,
she doesn't want to open it. It's too sentimental because.
She realized like, this is the last gift for mom that we're
going to give her. And so if she opens it, then
that's it. But he encourages her to take
that step. Your mom wanted you to have it
so you. Should you should open it?
Yeah, open the. Gift.
And so she does open it, and it is an ugly Christmas sweater.
(37:56):
Awesome yes it is it is an ugly Christmas sweater and she's
like, I don't know why she got me this we don't do ugly
Christmas sweaters like it wasn't sentimental at all.
She is there a. Mystery to it that they figure
out later. That's just the end.
No, but it does lead to them finally.
Making out they do finally make out.
OK, great and well. Because he says, he says, you
(38:17):
know, this gift is silly and youput a lot of pressure on
yourself. But your mom's get giving you
many gifts in your life. You know, all the things you've
learned from her, all the memories you have together.
And she's so touched by that that they just start sucking.
Face sucking face sucking face. And I, I, I, I, I think he
spends the night, 'cause she wakes up the next morning and
(38:39):
she's like. Oh boy, boy.
Where do you? Where'd he go?
Oh, you didn't see the part, thescene where there's like stairs
and like the. Camera I saw I.
Was like, this is a little bit Norman Batesy on us.
Can we like move along? It's like they spend a lot of
time on that. They like get it's they're out
of focus beyond the stairs. Beyond the stairs, they're like
(39:02):
stripping down. I'm like, what is happening?
Like cut cut cut, you know, in. The sex movie that got the
publicity. Right, that's that's the other
movie. That's next week.
That's Jake Helgren movie. So yeah, they make out.
They totally hook up. Grief is quite an aphrodisiac.
And now Jennifer Liv Hewitt is like, worried she's like, what's
(39:26):
going to happen? Like, I don't know.
And they do the thing where they, like, go talk to their
best friends, you know, like he talks to Greg.
Come back and forth as they're talking.
Yeah, I I hate that you don't like that part.
I hate that part of the movie because it always happens and
it's always pointless. I'm like, I don't need the
friends to to hash it out, you know?
Yeah, but it's, I don't know it's, but the friends probably
(39:48):
would. Hash it out.
Yeah, but it's the thing where the friends say the exact same
thing. And so they can just like make
the cuts where it's like, yeah, I you know, they speed it.
Greg is like, I think that you should.
And then they cut to the the the, yeah, the other best
friend, and they finish this. Efficient way of getting the
movie to time though, right? But you hate it.
(40:08):
You hate it. I I just think it's so
pointless. Like, let's move on.
Yeah. So during the kind of night
together, like Jennifer Hewitt talks about, you know, the nice
things her mom did for her. And one of the nice things was
her mom would decorate her room in Christmas lights whenever she
was sad. So like, not necessarily around
Christmas, just whenever. Right.
(40:30):
OK, That's like a thing that shedid.
Got it. And she mentioned it to him.
And she's, like, feeling really upset about, you know,
everything going down with the family, and she just feels like
she's wasted her whole Christmasbreak and everything.
And he decorates her room with, like, Christmas lights to make
her feel better. And it's like, really it.
(40:53):
Is really. Sweet.
All right. And then she cries again.
So we have. 3 or 4 cries. I think this might be like six.
Wow. I haven't been keeping count.
I think there's some that we haven't even mentioned.
OK. All right.
Yeah, so the next day she's she's inspired again.
She's like, OK, you know, the family might not be coming, but
I I want to make the most of this.
(41:14):
And the town has a holiday hop, like a sock hop.
It gets cancelled because the venue, something with the venue,
who cares? The there's a storefront that
Mason has been having the whole movie.
She's like, let's use the storefront.
He was going to. He was going to well.
Well, really quickly he had He bought the storefront.
(41:34):
OK. For his who he thought was going
to be his wife because she was an artist.
There's a storefront he's been having the whole movie.
That's right. So he had the storefront and
he's just kind of kept it, but hasn't done anything with it.
And so since meeting Jennifer Love Hewitt, he's slowly been
kind of going back to that placeand fixing it up because it's
just kind of been a shell. And so she finds him working on
(41:57):
this shop and she's like, Oh my gosh, this is the perfect place
for the sock Hop, Holiday hop, whatever, can we have it here?
And so they work together to decorate it and get it ready for
the Holiday Hop. That's right.
Yeah, so, and it's a great idea.She uses all her Christmas
connections to kind of make it. It looks awesome, by the way.
(42:18):
It does look awesome. There's great trees and like, it
looks so good. They end up like slow dancing
together. And one note, Mason doesn't wear
a tie. And I thought that was very
disrespectful to Jennifer Love Hewitt and all the work she put
into the party. The least he could do.
She's dressed up in another red blazer, not a Linda Belt Belcher
(42:38):
blazer, but but it's a glitter blazer and he had, he's just out
here with no tie, like a crinkled collar, like he's
looking a mess. I was very disappointed in the
wardrobe for this. Oh man, that's tough.
I didn't. I I thought he looked good.
I don't. I don't know.
There you. Go no, it it sloppy.
(43:01):
No sloppy. I bet you terrible.
The last time that you thought you looked good and Patrick
Serrano was in town, he probablyhad thoughts.
Yeah. I'm going to I'm going to start
sending you a daily fit checks and you can let me know if
they're doing. That Oh fine.
Yeah. OK, so.
Patrick's like I'm in. She doesn't think that he looks
a mess. She she like, makes out with him
(43:22):
and all the townspeople are, like, cheering them on.
Yeah, you go. They, yeah, they really are into
it. The family finally comes back
and they're like, Oh my gosh, our house is amazing.
We love it. You're hired forever.
And Jennifer Hewitt's like, yay,OK, good.
You like it. And I don't know how it comes up
but she ends up crying again andrunning away.
(43:44):
Look at these tears. Look at her.
Look at her crying. And she's really like, And this
is the sixth time in the movie. Could be 10th.
Wow. This is like the big cry, like
the yeah. The Showstopper.
Yeah, yeah, because. Yeah, I think it's just one of
those like, I guess my job's done here, type, type things,
you know what I mean? It doesn't something happen
(44:05):
where like Jennifer Love Hewitt's like talking to the
family and she's like, Oh yeah, this is Mason and she's like
going to say like my boyfriend and he says like Co worker.
Well, yeah, something like that.And but, but she I think like
she wanted him to like come likewant to go with her or
(44:26):
something. I don't know.
Whatever it is, they get upset with each other or she gets
upset with him and then yeah, when?
When they walk in, she says it was nice to meet you, Mason.
And then walks off. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, it's good. And then we've got our Jennifer
Love Hewitt song. We've all been waiting and it's
I'm missing you at all. I'm missing you since you've
(44:47):
been gone. That's really good.
I am missing you at all. I think it's Tina Turner.
Yeah, it's good. Missing you at all?
Missing you? Well, who is that?
I think it's Tina Turner. Right, I think it is.
Well, she does a cover of it and.
Serrano, if you ask me, that's. Right.
(45:08):
There you go. But that was the song.
I thought it was going to be a Christmas song, but it was just
a she just felt like singing, covering Tina.
Yeah, why wouldn't you? Why wouldn't you?
So yes, we get funding for Jennifer Hewitt's business.
It's called Holiday Junkie 2 Point O Yay.
(45:29):
Awesome. What a terrible name.
Yeah, she calls her mom, leaves her voicemail, and it's like, I
did it. Where can it?
Where can it be great. And then in my notes I wrote,
and her mother comes back to LayI.
Love it. Well, that would have been it.
But she doesn't. No, she just reconciles with
Mason. Mason has an idea.
He wants to use the storefront. What for?
(45:51):
For Jennifer Le Hewitt's. Business and.
You know they can. Just so happen that I have.
It I have the storefront I've done nothing with for years.
Just so happens. Right, yeah, and he said, he
said you don't have to pay rent,you just have to pay me with
bait. Got them.
And he loves. He loves Christmas, he loves
her. They kiss.
(46:11):
The movie does the thing where it flashes through all the
scenes but from when they first met.
The few weeks you remember it. That's something else I really
despise, but yes. I was on the fence on this movie
and you saying that made my decision for me.
Wow I hate that. Hate it.
Well, it. Feels a solid 2 minutes.
(46:33):
It does, it does, but we'd also,we did just see it, But that is
the movie and I, I since you were already going into your
thing, I guess it's time for us to pour it up and put a cork in
it. Yeah, I got to put a cork in it.
I enjoyed this and I I think that I would enjoy seeing
Jennifer Love you. It do like the like act, you
know, you know, and and do this thing and it sounds like a
decent premise, but all of the sads of it and the fact that the
(46:57):
conflict sounds like it's barelythere and then he happens to own
a storefront. There's so many things that
bothered me. And then the montage that is the
worst. If you are not in Night
Shyamalan showing us all the ways we missed the twist, or a
three hour epic that spans decades to remind you of the
building relationship, you cannot show me a montage of the
(47:18):
last 80 minutes I just watched. I hate that.
Put a cork in it. All right, enthusiastic.
That's right, yeah. I listen, I am notoriously not
big on the Sads. I don't I have a hard time with
them. But this movie did win me over.
I thought she was great and I thought the two leads, you know,
(47:38):
they're married in real life andsometimes that bites you in
these movies. But they had steamy chemistry.
They're great together. And so, and it helps that the
sads actually have some meat to them.
Like she's so good at crying. She cries a lot.
And if it wasn't for the ridiculous What's the Worst
(48:00):
Christmas You've Ever had game, I would have liked this movie a
lot more. I hated that game.
I thought it was an awful way toget to the point of where they
all share their things because it's just not.
It's not a thing that you would do for mozzarella stick.
And so that was close to me putting a cork in it.
But the movie won me over. I'm pouring it up.
(48:21):
Yeah, so you mentioned the couple being an actual couple
and it being steamy. It was almost too steamy.
I felt a little uncomfortable with the make outs.
They were really making out. There was not an intimacy
coordinator on set. They were just.
We got this one. We got this one, guys.
Yeah, Jennifer, love you. It's like I got it.
Like we're cool. We we know what's up.
(48:42):
So yeah, that was a little steamy, the mom dying thing.
I I think if you have gone through that, maybe this would
be some type of catharsis or something like that.
So I think it might be a good one to watch.
I was watching with my mom. I watched these Christmas movies
with my mom and I'm like, mom, you could never die.
(49:02):
I could never watch these. Like what?
Like what the hell, it's been a.Big year for for for dead
parents. And I think this one, this one,
it that's, it's the whole ball game like.
Yeah. That's yeah, so.
It's right, it's not a plot point.
This isn't for everybody. This movie is definitely not for
everybody, but they do deal withit.
(49:23):
Yeah. So I think that that was a
different spin on the dead parent thing, you know, actually
grieving, Yeah, instead of just having it be a plot point.
So I would pour it up for that reason.
There are a lot of, like, annoying things like director
choices like the montage and stuff like that.
But overall, it's the best Lifetime's going to give us.
(49:46):
Maybe we'll see if Marcus Rosnercan can top Jennifer F Hewitt.
Wow, that's right, that's right.We that that does bring us that
does bring us to our, our last tag, the light time on court.
We're taking next week off for Christmas and then we'll be back
on New Year's Eve, I believe with our final one.
What's it called? Engaged for Christmas.
(50:06):
Engaged engaging. By.
Christmas got it. Friends of the Show, Britt
Bristow and Marcus Rozers in that one.
So that's going to be a fun way to love out the season for sure.
Support Patrick Live term ofcourt.com co-5.com/patrick
Toronto. There you go.
Maybe we'll get to egg out. Ten.
(50:27):
I love that everybody do it right now unless you're driving.
Get to. We'll do.
Let's get to 25 by 2025. 25 by 25, I love that.
For bold, bold statement. Anything else for the people,
Patrick? Oh, well, I was just going to
say, what are you doing? New Year's New.
Year's Eve. That's it, I'm.
(50:47):
Going to be hanging out with you, that's what we're.
Going to be doing that's right, can't wait.
Can't wait. If if, if you're lucky, we might
be able to do it right at midnight, we'll do this and then
we'll segue right into the. We'll countdown to countdown
together, of course, yes. Fine, yeah.
I don't know, but all right, Merry.
Christmas, Patrick. Merry Christmas.
I hope you enjoy it. Until next time, maybe the 1st
to wish you a Merry Christmas. Deck the Hallmarks of Brabel Jam
(51:10):
podcast is produced by Aaron Shea.
For more information on Deck theHomework, you can go to
deckthehallmark.com. For more information on the Deck
the Hallmark family, you can go to bramblejamplus.com.
Deck the Hallmark is presented by Philo TV.
For a free trial of Philo, go tophilo.tv/DTH.
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