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July 29, 2025
Chazal teach us that the Beit HaMikdash was destroyed because of Sinat Chinam—baseless hatred. And our Rabbis have explained that, in truth, almost all hatred is baseless , because we know that whatever another person does to us is ultimately coming directly from Hashem. Even though people have free will, person A cannot use that free will to harm person B unless Hashem allows it—and that only happens if it's meant to be. If someone is able to cause us pain, it's only because Hashem decreed it for our benefit. It may have saved us from something far worse. Instead of resentment, we should feel joy that Hashem is taking care of us in the way He knows is best. When we overcome our natural reactions and respond with emunah, our relationships become more peaceful and loving. That inner peace brings happiness—but more than that, it is Avodat Hashem of the highest level, and it opens the gates of blessing. Chazal say, "The only vessel that can hold blessing is peace." A person can have a spouse, children, multiple homes, cars, and all the wealth in the world—but if there is no peace, none of it can be enjoyed. It's worthless. One of the greatest pieces of advice for someone who wants more happiness and more blessing in life is to make peace with those they are at odds with. A man told me a story that began about ten years ago. His father had a bitter falling-out with a longtime business partner, and the partnership ended with deep resentment. The partner left, and the father continued running the business with his son. But after the split, the company began to struggle. The atmosphere at work became heavy, and nothing was going right. There was tension everywhere. Seven years later, out of nowhere, the former partner walked back in and asked for a job. Surprisingly, they agreed—and gave him a high-level position. From that day on, the business began to grow and flourish. Today, it's more successful than it ever was. The son couldn't understand how this man just showed up again. When he asked his father, the answer became clear: "That machloket was bothering me for years," his father said. "One day I decided to call him, apologize, and make peace. I felt such relief afterward, and I guess he felt comfortable enough to return and ask for a job." There's no doubt: the success came from the act of shalom. When peace is made, everyone feels better—and even more importantly, we bring tremendous nachat ruach to Hashem, who wants nothing more than to see His children getting along. People may hurt us, but it's our job to fulfill Hashem's will and love them anyway. It's not always easy. But with a little chizuk, we can do it. A woman shared with me that she and her husband weren't invited to a certain wedding. They knew the reason and were okay with it. But on the day of the wedding, they kept getting phone calls from others: "What time are you going?" "Want me to save you a seat at the reception?" "Are you bringing the kids?"—all assuming they were invited. Each call felt like another dagger. By the time the wedding started, they were fuming. The woman wanted to forgive, but it felt too painful. The very next morning, she opened a daily email on emunah that she hadn't opened in over a week. The title? "When You Aren't Invited to a Wedding." She couldn't believe it. She read it again and again until the message sank in. It reminded her that everything comes from Hashem—that even this was tailor-made for her benefit. With that perspective, she found the strength to truly forgive. And afterward? She felt so free. Holding on to anger and hurt only poisons us. But when we let go, when we forgive—even when it's hard—and believe that everything is from Hashem, we feel lighter, more joyful, and we open our lives to blessing. If we can do that, B'ezrat Hashem we'll merit the rebuilding of the Beit HaMikdash. Amen.
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