The Beit HaMikdash was destroyed because of sinat chinam , which is usually translated to mean baseless hatred. Rav Elya Lopian writes, any hatred which is not sanctioned by halacha is called baseless. Many times people justify why they are permitted to hate another individual. They may even convince themselves that it is a mitzvah to hate. But in the majority of cases, it's just the evil inclination getting them to sin. Hatred is rarely permitted. Rather than justifying our reasons for hating, we should be looking to do just the opposite and go out of our way to show love. Hashem loves when we are at peace with each other. If we have a hard time doing it ourselves, we should do it for Him. I read a story about a man who had one child, a son who was very successful in his Torah learning. When it came time for him to get married, he was told of a girl with the finest qualities. However, after further investigation, they found out that she had a very low level of hearing. The boy did not want to pursue the shidduch . The father of the girl told the father of the boy he would give the boy as a dowry for his daughter one million shekels. The boy's father really wanted his son to be able to learn with peace of mind and he did not have the funds to support him. The girl did have sterling middot and was able to hear, albeit with difficulty. They agreed to go out and, soon enough, the shidduch was finalized. A couple of months after the wedding, the father of the girl informed the couple that the million shekels that he gave them was actually a loan he took out and put in their names. He basically lied to get his daughter married. The young man obviously had no way of paying back that debt, especially since he used most of the money to buy an apartment. And he honestly didn't want to have anything to do with his father-in-law anymore. He went to Rav Chaim Kanievsky z"l, to ask what to do. Rav Chaim told him to overcome his natural inclination and give honor to his father-in-law, despite what he did, and everything would be fine. The boy obediently listened. On Yom Kippur, he bought his father-in-law a very special aliyah and on Simchat Torah he bought him another one. This boy was learning in the Mir Yeshiva and since he came from America, he learned with a group of American boys. One day, a new boy came to the yeshiva and he was very homesick. He wasn't happy with his bed, the food was not to his taste, and he wanted to go home. He was also an only child to his parents. When the newly married young man found out about this boy's problems, he tried to give him chizuk . He told him he was also an only child and he also had a hard time when he started out in the yeshiva, but now he loves it. He offered to learn with this boy chavruta and the boy accepted. That Chanukah, this boy's father, who is extremely wealthy, took his private jet to Israel to visit his son. While there, his son told him of how this nice young man saved his entire year and how much he loves the yeshiva because of him. His father was so appreciative, he asked the young man what he could do to help him. The young man, seeing how wealthy this man was, told him about the million shekel debt and how it happened. The wealthy man happily went and paid back the debt in full. Rav Chaim knew that the secret to blessing is when a person goes against his inclination and loves people instead of hating. If we could all find it within ourselves to get rid of any hatred we have and give love and honor instead, b'ezrat Hashem we will turn the sad day of Tisha B'Av into the greatest holiday, celebrating the rebuilding of the Beit HaMikdash . Amen.