Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
I discovered discovered, I can't igno. Hey everyone, this is Louisa,
Lana and only one and this is the Love Discovery
and Podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
It's been a while, happy twenty twenty five.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Yes, we kind of took twenty twenty four off.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
It's been a minute since people have heard from us.
We're still around.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
We're relaunching the podcast. Yes, and a lot of things
have happened in the last year and part of the
reason why.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
We A lot of things have happened since the year began.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Yeah, I know. Last year was kind of a it was.
It was a great year for our film Far Steep South.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
Yes, once again.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
We had been doing a lot of screenings, so that
was going really well. And we're working on a new
film project. Who's afraid of Virginia Wing who is a Mississippian.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
What do you call it?
Speaker 1 (00:54):
The MCU The Mississippi Chinese Universe.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Yes, not the Marvel Cinematic.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Universe or the Mississippi Cinematic Universe.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Oh yeah, I like that one too.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
We've created our own MCU. And so Virginia, who's from Mars, Mississippi,
is an eighty something actress who is Chinese American.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
They're still self conscious about their age. When it gets
to that, you know, you start counting out.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
Yeah, you start to be loud and proud about it.
And she's a very strong, sassy, Southern woman who's had
a fascinating career. Of course, being of Chinese descent and
having a Southern accent also caused some you know, barriers
for her to get roles because people kept wanting her
(01:39):
to do an accent.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Yeah, and that's going to be an interesting foreign accent. Yeah. Yeah,
sometimes Southern accents do seem foreign to some people though.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
Right, But she was actually a trailblazer as well. She
was the first woman of color to be in the
Miss Mississippi pageant. Anyway, if you want to learn more
about that, you know, we're going to be sharing more
information about that and even how you can participate in
contributing to that film. But it was a hard year
last year because you dealt with some loss, and we're
actually with this podcast starting a series about dealing with
(02:13):
loss as an Asian American, but also kind of sharing
as we always do, we like to share different history
with the topics we are we are going to get
to your loss. But if you could briefly just share
about the loss that you encountered last year.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
Yeah, I mean my father, which most of you guys
have that are listening might remember, is the main subject
of Fari Steep South. He's been battling battling with kidney
disease for the last few years and I know a
lot of you have been praying for him and I've been.
We've been very thankful for that, but unfortunately he did
pass in August, and that's something that we're still dealing with.
(02:53):
It definitely is a loss, and it has changed a
little bit of the way that we continue our screens
because man for the film is still high and it's
just basically allowing us to continue his legacy. So we're
just I'm just really happy that my dad was really
proud of the film and that his legacy can continue
through through the film.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Yeah, and we're going to devote a whole episode later
on talking more about that, but in the immediate if
you've been watching the news, we live in Los Angeles.
We live specifically in Pasadena, and unless you've been living
under a rock, and that's actually probably the safest place
to be during this time, we've been dealing with some
(03:36):
crazy wildfires out here, and I know some of you
who might be listening have been texting us and checking
in us on social media to see how we've been doing.
And we appreciate that we live just a few miles
away from where the fires burned down a lot of businesses,
a lot of homes. We've had many friends who have
(03:56):
lost homes. Yeah, and it's been a very dicey sitch situation.
You know, not all of la is on fire.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Although it seems like it sometimes sometimes news.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
It's weird because in some sense, like it feels like
the whole city's on fire when you watch the news,
But at the same time, when I look at the
news and they're name checking areas like they're in some
ways they haven't even covered every area of Altadena and
Pasadena that have been affected because they keep kind of
going to all the same places in the same streets.
But we actually know, being you know, local to this area,
(04:27):
there's actually a lot more area that they haven't covered.
And I think there's starting to be more news reports
of like how many people have been affected and some
of the people that, sadly that are discovering in the
rubble who did not make it out.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
Yeah, and that's going to come out even more as
the roads open up a little bit more. And I
think probably a lot of the media guys haven't been
able to really search through all the different affected areas.
And as those places start to reopen, and as our
schools start to reopen, I think we're going to start
having some cleanups at some of the schools that are
still around. I think media is going to find out
(04:59):
and everyone's going to find out a lot more areas
that have been impacted by these fires.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
I think there's just a lot of uncertainty moving forward,
especially those been affected in this area. I mean, our
daughter is attends a school that's in that evacuation zone
and so they've had classes canceled for now going on
the second week, and a lot of her classmates and
a lot of the faculty, you know, our are in
that area and have lost homes or have been displaced,
(05:26):
and you know, they've one had the deal with the
learning loss, but also kind of the trauma of witnessing this.
I know our daughter was just one of her music
teachers lost her home and she was just devastated to
hear that news and felt so badly for her and
you know, we've had to deal with a pandemic a
few years back. I mean a lot of you came
(05:47):
to know our podcast during that pandemic. Every time we
did an episode, we would joke about it being over,
and it wasn't. And so I feel like this is
going to be another long term recovery. And part of
why we want to do through this podcast now is
to kind of give people some perspective of what's going
on here on the ground. But also I think as
Asian Americans, a lot of times we don't talk about
our feelings and we don't process a lot of this
(06:09):
because I think it's very easy to like identify the
physical needs right and we're seeing that a lot of
people are doing donations and clothing and even I think
I had a personal experience. Thankfully my house did not
burn down, but where my parents lived growing up, they
lived in the hills and there was a canyon fire
because it was just like a very unestablished area.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
All these canyons, all these canyons.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Now there's houses back there where the fire had burned before,
but it was just like canyons and lots of hills
and one time there was a brush fire that burned
actually our neighbor's house up until their backyard. Their house
thankfully was spared, but they were able to stop the
flames before it got to the main house. But their
backyard was.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Like singe and that's right next to your.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Right to next yard. Right, there's just one. It was
at the time. It was well, there was a dirt
road at the time. Oh that separated us. Now there's
actually a paved road and houses back there. But back then,
in the early days, it wasn't as developed, so like
there was a dirt road, and it was if the
fire had jumped that dirt road, our house would have
been next and we had to evacuate. So I understand
(07:13):
very much that feeling of dread when you can see
the flames and you see the smoke.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
And we saw the flames.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
Yeah, we did too, as we were driving home that
first that first night, after we picked up our daughter
from school, and it.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
Had just started. But it was like it looked like
lava flowing down the hill.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
It was burning really fast. And so it's very unusual.
I've grown up in southern California my whole life for
several decades. We won't say how many decades and so.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
More than you can count.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
We are kind of used to no comment, but we
were kind of used to brush fires. But especially in
this area, it's normally isolated to just the hills. Like
if you live in the hills, you run that risk
of getting burned. Right, this is unique in the fact
the winds were so bad.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Oh my goodness.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
That is our daughter would say. It was like the
wind was holding us up.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
If you were leaning over, we could lie backwards and
the wind would just hold.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
Yeah. But the winds were so strong and the embers
were flying so much that in more of the city
area in Altadena and the north side of Pasadena were
actually burned. In fact, our daughter was supposed to have
a dental appointment the next you know, as we're recording this,
like the next day, and her dentist office is no
(08:29):
longer there. But there is a middle school, Elliott Arts
Middle School that's been in the news and our daughter
did musical theater camp there.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
It's an iconic historic building building and been in many films.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
And built in the nineteen thirty one. It was named
after you know, Harvard President that yes, this is again
we we like to share history. Little known history the
Discovery part of our podcast. That building is it's not
one hundred percent burned down, but like the auditorium that
our daughter performed for Musical theater camp is burnt to
Chris Toast, but yeah, to say it lightly, and so
(09:07):
there's a lot of damage and those those kids are
going to be displaced. I think our daughter school is
still intact, thankfully, even though it was in the evacuation zone.
Just a lot of cleanup. Actually, And as I was
alluding to before, it's it's going to be emotional on
the mental side, you know, I know, having gone through
evacuation even now in having conversations a lot of times
(09:30):
with even our parents, our Asian parents, it's always about
the immediate need, like okay, stay away from the fire,
you know, do you have your clothes? Do you have
like they're always just more concerned about the physical needs.
I mean, I think that's in general with everything that
we do, right, do you have a good job, do
you have a good house?
Speaker 2 (09:46):
Like? You know?
Speaker 1 (09:47):
But a lot of times the emotional needs are are
what kind of get neglected. And so we've had conversations
with our daughter already just checking in on her emotionally
and trying to make that decision. You know, she's eleven
years old. She's old enough now that she can process
like what's going on in the news. But at the
(10:09):
same time, you know, I know, we don't want to
like overly expose her to all the tragedy. So it's
that balance of like she needs to know because she's
old enough, this is real life, and trying to shield
her from some of the horrors.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
Right, But we know we can't do that because we
know that her friends are experiencing those horrors. So we
want to make sure that she is there for them
and that support is there, and that she because we
have been we're fortunate enough to not be affected at
least physically from the damages, and we still have a home.
(10:45):
We realize that she's going to have to help some
of her friends through it that no longer have a home,
or have a severely damaged home, or have loved ones
who have damaged homes or lost home. So it's one
of those things where kids have to grow up fast,
and we're going to have to try to figure that out.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
Yeah, And I think one of the things that people
don't realize, and even in our school district and there
are help, like a lot of the resources, there's a
lot of mental health resources, and I know a lot
of times people are like, oh, well, that's for people
who are actually just going through the like the people
who lost their homes. But there is a lot And
just like with the pandemic, it's like there is so
(11:24):
much emotional influence that between the media, the news, how
parents talk the panic. Like you you don't really realize
the psychological effect it can have on some kids, and
some kids process it better than others while others. You know,
if you notice your kids starting to get a little
bit more withdrawn or maybe they're acting out, you know,
(11:44):
don't discount the fact that things like this, just even
knowing that this is happening in the in the neighborhood,
or even watching the news, even if you might be
far away, like it can have an influence. And so
there are resources at schools where there are counselors and
mental health and it's completely and grief counselors where it's
completely normal to have them, you know, processes. And I
(12:07):
would also say that don't think it's something that it's
just going to be a one time I just need
to do a session, you know, or even like two months,
three months, but it's going to be an ongoing process.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
And as an athlete, and I've heard other athletes say
this too, that are finally talking about mental health, they're saying,
you know, as an athlete, we're talking about our physical health.
And it's not something we only work on when we
have a problem. We're constantly working on. We're working out,
we're trying to get better, we kind of get stronger,
we're trying to be flexible. We're trying to get ourselves
into a situation physically to where if something happened and
(12:40):
we needed to exert force or play in a game
or do something, that we're ready for it. And as
a martial artist, we say the same thing. You know,
we prepare, we train, we train, and we have this
if you want to say physical therapy or even mental
or spiritual therapy, as we are training as martial artists.
We don't do it because we're battling every single day.
(13:00):
We're doing We're getting this training because when that time comes,
when it's unexpected, we are ready for it and we
can handle that situation. And I think that's a nice
analogy when it comes to our mental health, that if
we are working on it daily regularly, so that when
that moment comes, like this disaster comes, that we can
we can handle it in a better way.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
Yeah, And I think it's okay to take some time out.
I know with some parents and you know, people that
are working full time sometimes it's it's really hard to
take that time when you're in the midst of the crisis, right,
But when things can settle down and a little bit,
I think it's helpful for people to take some personal time,
you know, even though you may feel like I've got
(13:42):
to do this, I've got to do that. I've got
to take care of everybody else. And I know personally
witnessing it from a lot of families, and I've seen
it a lot in Asian families and other you know,
minority communities where mental health hasn't talked about as much,
where you know, what's what's everybody's favorite expression in families,
(14:03):
just suck it up, right, like or it's not a
big deal. Like I hear my mom talk about that
all the time, right, like, oh, we you know, she
lost her sister last year, and like I I keep
checking in on my mom and like I feel like
she I don't know if she's really processed right, like
it's it's it's something that people just go like, well
just move on, you.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
Just ignored, just ignore it. It happened or it is
not this Yeah, like you say, it's not a big deal,
but it is.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
It is a big deal, and it can have long
term effects if you don't process it. And everybody processes
in a different time, in a different way.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
And it's kind of like, you know, we go back
to Fari Steve South, where you know, for seventy five years,
over seventy five years, my father had to just pretend
that he never had a father, and you know, he
just and then but really he knew his entire life
he had a father that just wasn't there. And so
it really wasn't until we made that discovery that he
(14:56):
was actually finally able to face the sadness, the questions
that he had about being fatherless, and the mental strain
it had on him. And so even though we try
to hide things, I think eventually it comes out if
we give it enough time. And that's I think that's
what we're trying to prepare for.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
And there are things that you push out of your
mind too. I mean, something we didn't cover in our
film about your father is when he was a young boy.
I mean, there was Japanese occupation in where he was
in China, and I remember having a conversation with him.
I did record it, but we didn't end up using
it in the film because it just opened a whole
count of worms with having to deal with the Chinese
(15:35):
history side of things, which might be another film, you know,
down the line, because there's that side of the equation.
But he was talking about like, yeah, when I was
a boy, I remember hearing bombs go off and there
was military, you know, stationed around us, and you know
that sense of kind of fear and dread once I
start once he started talking. But again I think he
(15:57):
pushed it kind of back of his mind. But certainly
I have to think some of the way he feels
about security or you know, always being like very caught
on edge and cautious kind of goes back to even
those early days as a child living in that environment
where you're being monitored by military or worrying about bombs
going off, and even though you're just a kid, you
(16:18):
don't know a whole lot. Subconsciously, I think that does
play into how you frame your perspective on life, you know.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
I mean I think about how my take on mental
health was, you know, just even a few years ago,
and I think my thoughts was always like, oh, if
you're going to go see a therapist or if you're
going to talk about your your problems or issues, you're
going to be like in the movies where you're lying
on this big chase or sofa and you're like lying
(16:48):
there with your eyes closed or sometimes it's open, and
your hands are on your stomach, you know, and you're
you're staring straight up at the ceiling, and then you
got this very serious person next to you that has
no personality, just kind of grilling you and forcing you
to relive trauma and near hypnosis. And I'm just and
(17:08):
that's not how it's like right now.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
It's normally a conversation with somebody.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
Very casual, almost seemingly but yet intentional, and it's it's
like having a mentor or you know, And so I think,
you know, sometimes we just need to kind of dispel
that the right word, Yeah, that's just spell the preconceived
notions of what we might have seen on TV or
have imagined or seen in pictures and say like hmm, okay,
(17:36):
maybe it's not as weird or intense like that, Like
maybe it's not It's not something that puts me into
a space where I am now the awkward one lying
in the chair, but just somebody that just needs to
have a conversation with somebody that that will help us
get through the get through the pain, or get through
the situation well.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
And I definitely am also a big proponent of support group,
so if it's not a therapist, you know, when I
went through deep depression, I ended up leaning on a
support group. And I also had that mentality, you know
where people think like on a scale of one to ten,
oh I have to be a ten to go see
a therapist. I think I was around a five, and
maybe maybe I was really a you know, six or seven,
(18:16):
but I was rated myself as like my issues are
not as bad as like so and so, right, you know,
and there's this feeling of like, oh, well, you know,
I really don't need to talk to somebody unless it's
really extreme. And I think that was what I did wrong,
was because it ended up building up over years, and
when the dam broke, I just was in deep deep,
(18:38):
deep depression because I didn't do maintenance right, Like I
should have been talking to people about some of the
issues that were creeping up. Instead, I did what I thought,
I you know, just ignore it, just suck it up
like it's not a big deal.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
And you waited till the car broke down before you fished, rather.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
Than exactly having maintenance, and you.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
Didn't put in the oil. You just let the Royal
run dry.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
Right, And so some people are like, oh, well, you know,
we're doing fine right now, but like, I think it's
good to start having those conversations before you end up
getting the car breaks down. And you know, it's very
it's going to take a lot of money to fix
if it's I mean, ovily it's fixable. But yes, but
for some people it becomes a dire situation. And you know,
(19:24):
we just encourage you, like even if you are just
needing to talk to somebody, or know people that need
to that need to talk to somebody, please encourage them.
Kind of Like the last point we want to bring
up is we have a friend, your your old neighbor
in Sacramento couldn't locate a friend in the fires.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
That's right, I think they're still looking for them.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
He grew up in this area, passing in the Alta area,
and I think one of the things that people aren't
aware of it is a heavily African American neighborhood. In fact,
historically it was a place after Jim Crow, where a
lot of African American families came out to buy homes
(20:08):
that were affordable.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
And you bring up my neighbor growing up because he
is African American. Yes, So he had texted me the
other day and said like, hey, I haven't been able
to find my childhood friend. I haven't heard from him
and my cousin are all in that area. And he
gave me the address and I looked it up and
I was like, oh man, it's it's like right there.
And I don't think that those places, those addresses exist.
(20:32):
So I called those numbers and and I didn't hear anything,
like the lines didn't even go through. And it is
it is interesting to as we now look at that
area in Altadina and learn about the history of who
was there, why why were so many people As you
started seeing more people being found, you know, missing or
(20:54):
unfortunately pasted dying in the fire, was because they were
holding they're they're they're trying to hold up their home
right because that's so much history there. My grandfather bought
this place, you know, almost one hundred years ago, and
hearing those stories and the history in Altadena about I
think what you're leading on to is the history there where. Yeah,
(21:16):
during segregation and even prior.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
I mean during the Great Migration in of the nineteen thirties,
there was one section of Altadina that they allowed you know,
African Americans to buy because there was redlining where they
basically shut out any people of color from buying in
the neighborhoods, you know, whites only. I mean, it happened
to the Chinese, it happened to Latinos, that happened to indigenous,
it happened to a lot of you know, anybody that
(21:40):
wasn't white were shut out of a lot of neighborhoods.
And then in a post civil rights era, yay for
Civil rights acts, then you get integration and you you
have the elimination of redlining lining, and then there becomes
some white flight because of that, and then there's opportunities
for other people to move in the neighborhood. And it
(22:01):
was you know, Altadena was one of the early middle
class neighborhoods for African Americans, and there was so much history,
and you'd mentioned the generations, and you hear story after
story about, like you said, people's parents or grandparents purchased
a home there handed it down.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
I think the first one reported was, you know, they
found someone holding the hose still in his hand, but
he died fighting the fire. And I hear and I
read so many people say, oh, well, that was stupid
of him. He should have just left, you know, and
your life is more important than your property. And and
I think I understand when people say that. But as
(22:42):
I found the history and I started learning about the history,
why would somebody feel so tied into that home? And
you learn, well, that home went down multiple generations, and
all the hardships and sufferings and struggles in order for
that black community to finally have the right to finally
(23:06):
own a home holds so much weight to that community
that he's willing to die to preserve whatever he has
left of it. Right, he was willing to die because
because so many before them died in order to finally
have the privilege to just that we take for granted buy.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
A house, right, Yeah, And I think that is something
that our younger generations take for granted. I mean, I
remember your dad talking about in San Francisco, a whole
section of San Francisco that was like we weren't a
you know, Chinese were not allowed to buy in that section,
you know, and now a lot of them own in
that area, you know, as is Alta, Diina and Pasadena.
(23:46):
You know, there are you know, some very historically black neighborhoods,
but at the same time, it's increasingly been diverse, and
you know the fact that there's other people of color
in that neighborhood and so it's not that diversity is
also why we like it, because it's not. There's just
so much diversity here. And it's very it's very sad
(24:06):
to see like families and generations and legacy destroyed in
a fire. And I'm you know, we hope and pray
that the people will come back, you know, that they
won't just leave, and that they hopefully can return and
rebuild for their families.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
Right and the next generation.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
I know, it's been a really heavy past week. We
are going to be continuing the series and talking about
different aspects of loss and dealing with grief. Thank you
for joining us on our podcast today. Certainly stay tuned
with the news and seeing how you might be able
to help the victims of the wildfires. Thank you for
listening to The Love Discovery and dim Some podcast. Hope
(24:44):
you'll join us next time.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
Picking out the pieces, picking out the pieces
Speaker 1 (24:54):
That shut up, shut up, amending everybody, be spending every
part of me the shadow, Shadow