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August 9, 2021 51 min

#258

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Exercise #1: The Most Interesting Man in the World Exercise

Use When:

  • You need a non-lame icebreaker for a new group of men
  • You want a light-hearted and fun experience for an established group of men
  • Time Needed

  • 30-60 minutes (10 mins needed for the setup and the writing)
  • Tools Needed:

  • Pen and paper
  • Recommended Group Sizes:

  • No group size too small or too big
  • For the readouts, you can keep men in large groups or break into small groups
  • Structure:

  • Tell the men they’ll be writing 10 or more “interesting” things about themselves
  • Most men will need “prompts” to get the juices flowing, so read some of the ones below before giving them time to write
  • Share your own list of 10 (don’t skip this step! Hearing these examples really sparks creativity)
  • Give them 5 minutes to write, and slowly read the prompts again while they write
  • After the time is up, have them read out their list to the group
  • Any group member is allowed to stay “Stop! Tell me more!” anytime something piques their interest.
  •  

    
Prompts*:

    *They don’t need to answer every question…only the ones that spark an interesting tidbit about themselves:

  • Where have you lived?
  • What have you traveled?
  • What was the worst travel experience you’ve had?
  • What injuries have you sustained?
  • What scars/tattoos/unique body characteristics do you have?
  • When did you get in trouble?
  • What nicknames have you had?
  • Did you ever collect anything?
  • What’s your most prized possession (now, or as a kid?)
  • What was the best birthday gift you ever received?
  • Did you ever run away from home?
  • What’s an achievement you’re proud of?
  • What’s a particularly colossal failure you’ve experienced?
  • What’s an embarrassing moment you’ve sustained?
  • What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?
  • What’s the best/worst job you’ve ever had?
  • What special skills/talents do you have?
  • What useless skills/talents do you have?
  • What’s a quirk that you have that your partner makes fun of you for?

  • Exercise #2: Making Your Life Movie

    Use When:

  • You want a group of men to build deeper rapport
  • You have 45 to 90 minutes of time
  • Time Needed:

  • At least 45 minutes
  • Tools Needed:

  • Pen and paper
  • Recommended Group Sizes:

  • No group size too small or too big
  • For the readouts, you can keep men in large groups or break into small groups
  • Structure:

  • Have the men imagine they’ve just been called a movie studio who wants to buy the rights to a movie about a particular era of their life, and they need to come up with a story worthy for the big screen.
  • Read each prompt below, and give men 20-30 seconds to journal on each prompt.
  • Once finished, have each man read out their movie to the entire group (or in small breakouts)
  • The role of the listeners = Supportive Movie Studio Agent. Their job is to ask questions and dig for the juicy details to help flesh out the story.
  • 10 Prompts:

  • What’s the most cinematic era of your life? (could be a period of years, a few days, a particular series of events over a period of time, etc)
  • What were 2-3 standout moments from that era of your life?
  • What adversity did you face?
  • Who’s the villain(s) in your story?
  • Whos’ the unsung hero?
  • Were there any plot twists?
  • What are the biggest insights from this era?
  • What songs/singers/bands would be on your soundtrack?
  • Who would narrate your movie?
  • What’s the working title of your movie?
  •  

    Exercise #3: The Defining Moment Exercise

    Use When:

  • Your group is ready to go deep and vulnerable
  • You want to venture from the head into the heart (feelings and emotions)
  • You feel confident you can safely lead a man into potentially emotionally challenging situations
  • Time Needed:

  • At least 45 minutes per man
  • Tools Needed:

  • None
  • Recommended Group Sizes:

  • For new groups, 10 men or fewer
  • For established groups, 20 men or fewer
  • Structure:

  • One man (the Explorer) shares a 3-5 minute story of a defining moment in his life
  • At the conclusion of those 3-5 minutes, another man (the Guide) will thank the Explorer for sharing that story with the group
  • Guide will then ask the Explorer to close his eyes and connect internally with what he’s feeling after having told that story
  • The Guide will spend the next 10 minutes guiding the Explorer into his emotions and feelings by asking probing questions about two things:
  • What he’s feeling/experiencing right now
  • What it felt like during the moments he described in his story
  • Examples:
  • “What’s coming up for you right now, emotionally?”
  • “Can you feel that emotion somewhere in your body? Where is it?”
  • “How did that feel when you shared about ______?”
  • “If I was in your body right now, what would I be feeling?”
  • “Can you sit with that feeling/emotion for a moment?”
  • NO advice
  • NO problem solving
  • NO fixing
  • STAY AWAY from “what do you think” – the word “think” puts a man in his head
    After the 10 minutes of the Guide leading the Explorer, the rest of the group is invited to be Guides and ask similar questions
  • Near the end of the time, Guide lets the Explorer know that he is winding down
  • When time is up, Guide gently invited the Explorer to bring eyes back to open
  • Have the Explorer make eye contact with every man in the room
  • Guide thanks Explorer for what he’s shared
  • Guide asks Explorer for reflections on the experience
  • Guide asks the rest of the Guides to provide reflections on their experiences of listening to the
  • Explorer (no advice, no problem solving)
  • Share
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