August 29, 2025 • 59 mins
In this episode, the Mullets divert from the plan again to discuss another childhood fave without rose tinted glasses, inappropriate sketches, whiny pigs, spirit rats and children not believing books can be banned.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:03):
Welcome to Arcade Audio. Hello and welcome to this week's
(00:40):
episode of Married with Movies. I'm one of your hosts, Samantha
Mullet. See, next to me on the couch is
the other host, my beautiful husband, Chris Mullet.
Why are you laughing? At me.
No, no, no, no. I'm not laughing at you.
Let me. You're not laughing with me
because I'm not laughing. I'm grimacing in pain.
Because so at that same moment was like, man, I got to take a
(01:02):
big. Old shit so we can stop us.
Let's start this over. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no. If anything, this is going to be
like a 25 minute episode. Keep.
It tight it is well, my stomach.Hurt it is so as you were like
grimacing, I was like, man, whata great video podcast this would
be. It's just us sitting here
fucking blankets looking like shit, being like Oh no.
(01:24):
I'd pay to watch it. I wouldn't.
I should get an OR. We should get paid to.
An OF we should get an only fans.
I pay while living it. I would not pay to watch.
It I paid for this couch. Yeah, it's Friday, May 13th.
Just keeping everyone on their toes.
What? I thought that you were right
(01:45):
for a second. I just got to see.
Damn it, it was a Tuesday. I just sort of date and the name
out there. No, it is Wednesday, August
27th. If you're new here, welcome.
You're joining us to quote Ed Norton at the end of Fight Club.
You're joining us at a very interesting time in our lives.
But we persist, like Elizabeth Warren, by being married to one
(02:14):
another. That's how we get through it
most of the time. And in between that, we also
watch a lot of movies and we talk to you fine folks and
hopefully that all your problemsgo away every time you listen to
us or they get worse. Probably the.
Latter but. I don't know why I suggested we
record the night. I don't know either.
I'm like we we were prepared. You were home late.
(02:37):
We were supposed to, yeah, we were supposed to record
yesterday and. But we're still going on.
With it happened and then we were going to record tomorrow,
but my plans tonight changed. The plans tonight are
specifically around something that may impact all of you
that's listening to the show. The only thing I will say is be
on the lookout for potential changes to the podcast.
(03:01):
It's not going to ideally impacthow you listen to it or where
you get it from. But just if you notice anything
lately are coming up soonreachoutmeredithmovies@gmail.com
or at Mary W Movies on Twitter, let us know and we can help
answer any questions for you. But that being said, to save
time, I was like, well, it's just recorded right now.
(03:24):
So we are, we are full blown improvising it.
I didn't think about the fact that I've been teaching class
all week and it's a class I'm very unfamiliar with.
So I've just been My words have just become big old sluts
lately. Well, I mean.
I I am portmanteauing so many words or I just like, I know
(03:45):
what I want to say, but I get tongue tied about which word I
want to say. I'm turning into Scott Signer.
So my dream is coming true and now I'm like, yeah, let me talk
for another 45 minutes. You're the worst.
I know. How are you?
I'm. Fine, Yeah, you know I'm here.
(04:06):
My stomach hurts. The last time we recorded was
for which movie. I don't know what last movie we
talked about was. Hey Flate.
So prior to me going out of townfor work last week?
Last week, yeah. Yes, you were.
(04:28):
You were gone last week. All kind of.
Times a flat circle times a. Poor.
There's less than 200 days till the end of the year.
Oh. Lord, we watched today's movie,
which I'm sure if you're lookingat what today's movies is,
you're like, wait a second, holdon, Wasn't this supposed to be
like across the universe or Dungeons and Dragons or gone
baby gone or something off of like the wrap it up like
(04:52):
Netflix? Or anything other than
Charlotte's Web. We I've always had the caveat
that at any time we discuss a movie with Jillian, it's our.
Fucking life. We could do it.
We could do whatever the fuck wewant, people.
I mean, fucking movies change their release dates all the
time. I'm just imagining there's a
(05:13):
person out there like remember the Ryan Gosling papyrus sketch
for Avatar? Like a guy, like there's a fan
out there of ours. She's like, they said it was
gonna be across the universe. Like I've ruined their
spreadsheet. I've ruined their ruined their
own poop reports. But when movies kind of come up
and we talk about the Majillion,if we haven't done it for the
(05:33):
show, we're like, all right, well, this is just going to be
this week's episode, then fuck it.
It's a lot easier to watch than it is anything I just mentioned.
So these are going to happen every now and then.
That being said, we watched thisover a week ago because when I
did. On the 16th.
Yes, because when I came back webasically came.
(05:55):
I came back for us to directly go to Lakeland for a toy show
this past weekend. Not our best.
Actually are worse, no. A couple things at the end, see.
Shout out shout out to the people with like an hour to go
in the show who bought all of our Breaking Bad funkos which
are not cheap at all and. I'm an actually very rare for
(06:16):
us. Yes, but what it did embolden me
to do is I am now an official eBay seller.
Baby. Yeah.
Baby. 22 items online. And and only like 48.
Hours. Yeah.
No, no. Sunday afternoon.
Sunday 70. Two hours, yeah.
Yeah, eventually. We're going to be averaging an
(06:37):
item a day and eventually we'll hopefully have nothing in my
garage that's going to be. A lot of work, but I'm here for
it. Great.
If you have boxes, send it to usat marriagemovies@gmail.com.
Drop them off at our house. So yeah, so we were in Lakeland
hanging out with my mom doing the toy show.
So not much else been going on, right?
We haven't been watching or doing anything else.
(06:57):
We started the season, second season of Peacemaker.
We. Did.
That's about it, right? That's.
Really it? Yeah.
Like that's really it. Well, we've been we.
Haven't had time for anything. True.
Just so we don't really have time for this to this episode of
going too long because our last couple episodes have been
pretty, pretty extensive. So let's try to keep this one
(07:20):
tight and short. Just like Herve Villainchez.
I'm sorry, I don't know why I made that reference.
The little dude from Fancy Island.
You don't know Fancy Island. You know Herbie.
I know, Deplane. Deplane.
Yeah. That guy, you can't say that
anymore, but you know well. I just said it well.
Great. So yeah, we watched Charlotte's
(07:41):
Web. I, for the life of me before we
started recording, was trying toremember how this came about.
Oh, I remember what it was. So the reason why we watch this
movie is because Jillian, I think she said she had watched
it at school previously or she watched the live action version.
No, she watched this one. She did OK, but I have just a
(08:05):
massive note on my phone that's just funny observations, jokes,
things that nature and just likestories from our life that I
constantly had to. And there was one several months
ago, we were at a bookstore thatwe really, really like that has
a a banned book section. And Charlotte's Web was in that
section because? Of course it is.
(08:25):
It's banned. What was the reason why?
It's banned because of the talking animals.
I'm tired of this earth, this people.
I'm tired of being caught in thetangle of their lives.
So Jillian went up to the section and we explained to her
that people banned books becausethey have a problem with it
based on their sexual orientation, religion, etcetera,
and Charlotte's Web. And she goes, they banned
(08:45):
Charlotte's Web. And she was like incredulous.
She was. Like she could not.
Believe I was reading I was just, you know, if I if I'm down
or whatever, I'll read these andthey make me feel better.
And I shared it and I was like, I have not seen this movie since
elementary school. And I remember loving it as a
kid and I was like, well, let's watch it as a big family on the
(09:05):
weekend and and see how it goes.So here we are watching the
cartoon of Charlotte's Web. This movie came out in the 70s.
I want to say there's no way this is any newer than that.
This movie came out in 1973. 1973.
So Samantha, go ahead and read the package or just continue to
(09:27):
to sit there. I had to go to the fuck up some
spreadsheet, sorry. Oh, to see how many how how much
wiggle room you got. Yeah, basically.
What do you got? I have 23.
Oh. Charlotte's Web.
I almost thought I was going to mess it up.
And then my. Charlotte webs have you had you
(09:47):
said Charlotte webs there I probably would have a shit my
pants. B Charlotte Web ended the
podcast. Forever.
Yeah, and and C made you finish the podcast as we sit here in my
shed Charlotte webs. No, I'm just kidding.
I know a timeless classic for the entire family now.
Like don't eat you can't even look for.
(10:09):
The skaters you can't. Even look at me.
Can a small grey spider become agiant when it comes to saving a
friend? She can if her name is Charlotte
and she resides in Charlotte's Web.
EB White's timeless children's story comes magically to life in
this colorful, tune filled animated musical.
(10:31):
Join Charlotte, a young girl named Fern Arabel, Wilbur the
Pig, Templeton the Rat, AK Mullet, and the other delightful
barnyard. What?
No, I was being surprised. Oh, oh, but you did mess the
other thing up. No.
I know, but you did a second no?I was making a joke because of
the edition. And the other delightful
barnyard animals in this enduring story of friendship,
(10:53):
trust, and love. Charlotte may be small when
compared to her friends, but herloyalty and determination when
Wilbur's life is threatened is as big as the barn in which she
lives. Sorry.
You're fine. Here's an extraordinary animated
adventure that will keep you laughing and singing along with
(11:14):
the unforgettable Charlotte and all her friends.
So it's one despite your throat's best efforts, Ayo?
Oh man. So.
I'm hanging on. Yes, you got one the spare if
Samantha hits 25 fuck ups reading the box and I get to put
into the queue any movie that I wish yet, which I have plenty of
(11:37):
ideas I'm. Sure, sure you do.
As long as you're not Charlotte's Web Two, I'm.
I'm OK they they made a Charlotte too I believe, right
of. Course he did.
He'd be white rolling in his grade.
Yeah, so like I said, I'd not. You've obviously seen this movie
before. Did you see this movie in
school? I feel like this is.
(11:58):
AI don't fucking remember. No, I think, I think I, I think
I may have. I honestly think it may have
been at summer camp probably like when it rained.
Like they would wheel in the TV and like we would watch movies.
Yeah. Oh, they would still wheel the
TV in my classroom. Oh yeah.
It was probably at summer camp if I had to guess.
So I'll share. I'll share the story of.
I'll share the 2 main reasons why this movie kind of sticks in
(12:26):
my crawl in just a moment, but score it I'm.
Going to give it a 5. Giving it a four.
Yeah, I was like. It this so not the first, not
the first time that we have experienced this on the podcast
(12:47):
where it is a movie that is the epitome of childhood rose tinted
glasses of like, you don't know any better.
No, especially because I've not realized this movie is like 50
years old. I didn't realize it was that old
either. I didn't also realize, well,
because of that, I guess I commend it because being a
(13:12):
feature length theatrical animated movie at that time is
besides Disney like largely unprecedented.
I didn't realize this was Hanna Barbera that did this.
So Hanna Barbera is the studio that technically like put this
together. It doesn't feel like it at all.
(13:35):
It's Hanna Barbera through like Paramount, but that gives it a
certain like charm as well. Also, the Sherman Brothers are
some of the most legendary song makers, particularly of like
children's entertainment of all time.
The Sherman Brothers did fuckingMary Poppins and Chitty Chitty
(13:55):
Bang Bang and did things like the fucking Jungle Book and It's
a Small World, like you name it.Like they fucking they, they
are, you know, the most preeminent song makers for their
genre of their time. So like the pedigree is there.
(14:16):
It's just like kind of very boring.
It's also pretty redundant as well.
And it is 94 minutes. I don't remember the book
because I read this book multiple times as a child.
(14:38):
Love the book. I don't remember it being this
kind of like, boring. And that's like, the book
doesn't have music. The book doesn't have, you know,
some of the other high jinks that happen, especially from,
you know, we can't visualize it.So what do you think it is about
this movie that makes it as adults not as translatable?
(15:02):
It's bad. Well, you give it a 5.
That's not necessarily bad, I mean.
I gave it a five more for like the nostalgia part of it, but I
just don't think it does justiceas much justice as it should to
the classic story of Charlotte'sWeb.
Like the things that it said on the back of the box, like, no,
it didn't do. And like, ask me one of the
(15:23):
song. Ask me how do the songs go?
I couldn't recite, I mean. No, I couldn't tell you.
That's my point. Like I couldn't tell you, like
the music wasn't great. Was it catchy?
I don't remember it, you know, it.
It was more on like the forgettable side, like and that
and that. That's sad because it is such a
(15:44):
classic story. It's such a great story.
But had I not watched this I'd I'd be fine.
It is nostalgic comfort food in terms like the idea of it is
exciting. Yeah.
And it's it, it is kind of comforting the way to like, you
(16:07):
know, we watch this with our child.
I watched it around the same ageas her.
She enjoyed it. But there's, it's a incredibly
circular story. This whole thing could be an
e-mail like like. Like why did I have to?
Why did I have to attend this hour long kickoff goal also?
I think an inherent problem withthe movie is that for 90 minutes
(16:29):
this whiny and grateful little pig literally just keeps getting
fucking chance after chance after chance and and honestly.
For what reason? What he do for Charlotte?
What he do for Charlotte, What he do for?
Fern what he do for anybody. I mean, Wilbur is a neppo pig is
(16:52):
what I'm getting at here. It's so again, like we were dumb
as kids. Every kid is fucking dumb except
my child, right? But Wilbur wouldn't have gotten
anywhere if it wasn't for the kindness of others.
Sure. So I don't know what that's
supposed to mean. So I have several reads on, like
(17:13):
the story in the movie. You know, like familial trauma
putting all your energy into ungrateful people, apparently.
I mean I can relate. I, I, What the fuck does that
mean? Not you.
You look directly at me. Who else is here for me to look
at? Let me.
Look over there. Terry.
It's the way you hey our our thewrestling buddy that shouldn't
(17:37):
be in our living buddy. No fucking wrestling shit of
Hollywood Hogan that lives in our living room, but.
Only because we'd like to make it sit up and look at your mom
when she's here. Yeah, it scares me every
morning, but like, the story itself is this pig is born.
(17:58):
This girl doesn't want to die dying because it's the runt.
I guess the the story of like everybody deserves a chance.
Yeah, yeah, a fair shake. No matter their size or whatever
it is. It's got a certain message
behind it. But the way that it's put
together in this story and again, animated movies back then
outside of Disney, we're not looking towards, you know,
(18:23):
pulling out heartstrings or doing anything besides
entertaining this movie. It should do that.
But it's not particularly exciting.
It's not particularly emotional.It's not particularly sad.
Like when spoiler Charlotte dies, I'm just like, all right,
there's Spider. Like it's going to happen.
Like she told you, she's going to die soon.
Yeah. And then she dies.
(18:44):
Honestly, it was more moving. So also like Charlotte's Web is
also something that's prominent because the movie Leo, the
animated movie Leo that came outa few years ago, Jillian's
really into it is Adam Sandler'sThe Iguana.
And. It's and it's like his journey
and that's also a musical and stuff like that there.
(19:05):
Charlotte's Web plays a pivotal role in that movie.
And like the way that they talk about it and like just the
gravitas that like the teacher reading part of the book, like
that part when she dies, way more moving than actually seeing
the movie portray it. You know what I mean?
Like that's and that's that's tough like that.
(19:26):
Then that shouldn't be the case.But you know, you have like this
ungrateful little pig who yes, Iagree with you, Chris, like the
the story's supposed to be like everyone deserves a chance no
matter what. But I think that if you, I think
that this tells the wrong story because it's not, oh, you
(19:49):
should, you deserve a chance because like no matter who you
are, like if you're the runt or whatever, but like you've got to
put some effort into it. And I think that's the part
that's missing from this. And I think that's maybe why I
don't relate because that's whatI believe.
Like, yes, everyone deserves a chance.
You've got to give people grace and you've got to, you know,
help others when you can. But you know.
(20:14):
They've got to help themselves too.
Like they've got to do somethinglike Wilbur could have done a
fucking flip. He did.
He did multiple backflips. He could have done a better one.
He could have done a. Quadruple.
I will say it's like ACM punk moonsault.
It's a little crooked. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's like he could have done a. Second one he could do a double
axle A. Quadruple axle, I mean high
(20:36):
expectations. So here, shoot for the moon,
you'll land amongst the stars so.
I want to get into the minutiae of the story.
Yeah. OK.
As we talk about like, what's the problem with this movie?
Yeah. Let's talk about the minutiae of
Charlotte's Web The Animated. We're a fucking movie review
podcast. No one would fucking listen
beyond the few that already do for like if we were doing it
(20:57):
like you do every time it's good.
Sorry, you know didn't like it. You know I.
Thought that's what. You used to you perform in this
podcast like my mother lives herlife, and if there's anything
that'll ever make you pay more attention in a movie or be
better, it's that phrase right there.
(21:17):
Also, I hope my mom's not listening to this, so fucking
suck it up. We're talking about the minutiae
of Charlotte's love. Before we do that, are there
things that you like? You gave it A5 so you didn't
think it was necessarily bad andthis things necessarily good.
So what are some of the things you ended up enjoying about the
(21:38):
film? All.
Right, So what did I end up enjoying about the film?
I ended up enjoying I. I don't know.
I liked some of the sassiness that was going on in this film.
It wasn't anything in particular, but it's like that
that Ram I liked. I liked the scenes with the Ram
(22:00):
there's. Some good tudeness like.
There's some good like sassinessand like, I get it like.
Was yeah. Did Martin Scorsese base Jimmy 2
times on the goose in this movie?
Yeah, I think so. I think so, I think.
So got it, got it, got it, got it, got.
It Yeah. So I, yeah, I just I like the
(22:23):
toot in it. I like some of I like some of
the the minor character build out.
So I'm not going to lie, if it'snot like Wilbur specifically, I
I don't hate to care. Like obviously Templeton's my
boy in that the fact that. You are Templeton.
I am slowly but surely morphing in the Templeton the rat.
I think it was also like, didn'tTempleton the rat get reference
(22:44):
for something and that's why we were like.
Somebody said it and that's why we said.
And that's why I was like, Oh yeah, we should watch
Charlotte's Web. So I can just confirm or deny if
that's the case. So my favorite bit of trivia,
not about this movie, about the live action Charlotte's Web is
they put that movie together andran it for test audiences in the
biggest feedback they got is that people were mad that
(23:07):
Templeton song had been removed from the from the film.
And they're they had to literally go back in and make
the the Templeton song so that people it was missing.
And that being said, it's far and away the best part of the
movie. Yeah, I mean it it it's it's a
(23:28):
banger. It's, it's hysterical, the.
Most banger of of that you can get out of a movie like this.
And then like the reprise is absolutely fired.
Like the fact that it you get a good bit of of space in between
the song and his, what we want to call it a binge essentially
(23:48):
around everything it is. It's also unfair because he is
essentially Buster for Jones. Yeah.
And I think you said that duringit.
Oh. I did, yeah.
And and I was like, yeah, and that's you.
That's why you're so mad. All right, now hold on.
You can call me Templeton the Rat.
You can spit on my leg and tell me it's raining.
You can call me Templeton the Rat.
(24:09):
But I am not Buster for Jones. That there's there is not.
That is a line. Not yet.
Is that the horseshit you're going to say to me?
Not yet. Yeah.
You piece of shit. So the lie I want to see real
(24:29):
quick. Who is Templeton in the live
action version? It is OK, Steve Buscemi like,
yeah, they nailed it. Yeah.
They got it. But to my point, that stuff,
that song, besides that, there'sreally not any other songs to me
(24:51):
that really work. I mean, yeah, there, there.
I mean, there's the I Can Talk song, that pig butt scene in
that song. Wild.
So. That's my note I.
Have a note that I can't read out loud.
(25:11):
This big happy as fuck. That's not it.
I have a note later on that justkind of summarizes what I'm
feeling here. Wilbur is a lot.
He is a whole hell of a lot in this movie.
So when he has that I can talk scene like, you know, he he
does. It's a good singing voice when
he sings it. But also in that song, I don't
(25:32):
need him backing up into the camera with just like
essentially, if this were cats, the the butt hole cut, it'd be a
backup pig hole right in my face.
Yeah. Yeah, and I'm.
Not about that it was. Unnecessary.
And yeah, and I think I think you're so right when you say
Wilbur is a lot because then like after the song, the pig, it
(25:55):
comes out, he's a fainter. And then that's something that
proceeds like, what? What are you?
You're going to get so overwhelmed and with emotion
that you're going to just faint at the most inopportune times.
You're a lot, He. Faints, he does.
Backflips. He also could cry.
(26:16):
This. This is the mullet.
Dumb question. We do.
Animals cry, Yes. Animals cry.
Like like the same tears that wedo.
Animals have tear ducks. Wild.
I think I don't know, I'm not a.You know, fucking fucking animal
tears. How do they work?
Can animals cry? Oh, I know they, but like, do
(26:37):
they cry? They can.
Produce tears, but it's not the same kind of tears that humans
cry they lubricate and protect the eyes they.
Go. Or like when they're distressed
or in pain like cats and dogs, but they don't indicate
emotional crime because animals don't have souls.
(26:57):
What if AI actually said that? Then were you have problems?
I'm telling true. Another thing I liked about the
movie, and this isn't, you know,from a story or a performance
perspective, but the fact that this movie is 52 years old and
it looked as good as it does. I I I mean it's not.
Go crazy bro. I'm not saying it looks fucking
(27:18):
pristine. It's not fucking Elio.
I mean it's. Fine, it's fine animation, it's
hand drawn animation. It's it.
Has. It has that appeal, that charm.
Yes, and we look at some of the older hand drawn animated movies
we've watched over the past several years and how there is a
disconnect between the quality in our German.
(27:40):
I was just talking about this with somebody at work recently
where someone was talking about K pop demon hunters, which, you
know, they have a child they're also also obsessed with, just
like Gillian is. And pardon me, talking about
like how they've tried to get their child to watch things from
their childhood. And I was sharing my experiences
and how, you know, for whatever reason, Gillian will watch
(28:03):
Aladdin, her Little Mermaid of Beauty and the Beast.
But if we tried to show her, youknow, Aladdin the TV series or
Timon and Pumba or things from our generation, she disconnects
with it. I feel like because of the
quality of like the animation, like it's not as good as like
the movie and it sounds as good as like what she watches now.
And it's not for everything. I also think those shows are
particularly not great because because everything, you know,
(28:26):
it's like, you know, you're getting, you know, not Robin
Williams and not, you know, you know, whatever else.
But I, I think she didn't have this problem with this movie and
I think it's because it looks better than its time.
It looks better than its air. But I just put comparison and
(28:46):
some other things. So I appreciated that.
Like I thought this was going tolook like utter shit and it
didn't. It's still old, but nicer than I
figured. So what else did you like about
the movie? I mean, I think, I think we
covered it. Things you didn't like.
(29:07):
I mean, we've already been talking about a lot.
So I I want you to give me some leeway here and I want to walk
through some, some some questions I have about the world
of Charlotte's Web. OK, so First things first.
Can so Fern knows that they're talking.
(29:28):
No, no. I don't know.
Like Fern is present for multiple scenes in the middle to
endish of the movie when Charlotte like she is standing
there as if the characters are talking.
She never once speaks to any of them or vice versa.
(29:50):
But she's just there. There's a one moment where I
think like she does say something to them.
Yeah. Or she's or like she's Oh no,
doesn't she say something to herparents?
And she sounds like totally crazy.
Yeah, because she is. Why is Fern crazy?
Because because she she's talking to the animals man.
(30:10):
Well, the odd animals are talking back then.
Well, how? Crazy is that?
How do you know? Well.
Because we're watching them talkwell.
That's your perspective. So you think this is all a
psychotic episode that Fern is experiencing instead of
Charlotte's Web? This movie should be called
Fern's Brain. So one of the most controversial
things that happened during the illustrious run of one of my
(30:34):
favorite TV series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, was that they
tried to position it to be just that Spoiler for for those of
you who may not know that like they tried to make it like this
was all like in Buffy's brain, like the whole world and
everything was in her brain. And it got such backlash
(30:54):
because. People like, I mean that that's
there's other things like that, but this is an excellent
example. Keep up.
It got such backlash because it ruins it.
It's the it's the Hill Street Blues snow globe.
It's it's unless you pull it offin such a perfect way like
Newhart is an example, right? The entire series being the
(31:16):
dream of Bob Newhart from his previous TV show is like,
brilliant, right? But now it's almost a trope,
like the whole series finale of Atlanta is predicated on.
Did any of this actually happen and ultimately, like, not
mattering? There's ways around it, sure,
but depending on the amount of investment you get from your fan
(31:37):
base and the story you're tryingto tell.
But but but but. This is Charlotte's Web.
This is Charlotte's Web. This is an animated Charlotte's
Web. But yeah, so I don't know, it
could also just be like, maybe she just imagined all of it.
Maybe she you know. She's in the middle of eating
(31:57):
Wilbur on She's the. Mac Guffin of the movie I'm.
Going to I almost literally Chuck this at you because I was
waiting for it. All right, so the second
question how fucking dumb are these people?
Because there's one thing that you can't deny, and it's that
all these people, the, the Charlotte is actually spinning
(32:18):
these webs with these messages and all these people are
thinking that it's the pig doingit, right?
At no point in any of Charlotte's messaging are they
watching or reading that messagegoing man, what a clever spider.
Right. No, they're like, oh, what a
(32:38):
radiant pig. Yeah, yeah.
No, people are fucking that crazy, Chris.
This takes place in in the 70s. Where?
So let's be fair. Iowa somewhere?
No. Do we have any listeners in
Iowa? Fuck them.
Screeze. Let's be fair, in 1973 though,
everybody knew that the fucking earth was round.
(32:58):
So what? Who are we really going to
fucking throw stones at, you know?
So I, you know what? Whatever.
Strike that one from the record.You know what?
Fine, let people fucking think apig can fucking write messages
on a web. No, fuck that, I disagree.
And also like, who the fuck cares?
(33:23):
Like why? You're not going to eat this
delicious pig because because a spider wrote a thing that said
it's radiant. Not going to lie, he's.
Fat enough? Not going to lie, some good.
Bacon. If anything, oh wait a second,
this pig also has the ability towrite messages and fucking webs.
Fry that son of a bitch up. He got to taste pretty goddamn
(33:46):
good because he's special, he's going to taste even better.
End of movie, 20 some minutes. It's a short.
It's a special instead of a whole goddamn movie we didn't
need. Zuckerman's famous pig.
Zuckerman's tasty ass pig. I mean, honestly, like and look,
(34:07):
I understand that there are people who are vegetarians, who
are vegans who don't agree with eating animals.
And I and I totally understand. I totally respect it.
I, you know, good for you that you have the willpower to do
that because, you know, if we weren't men to eat animals, they
wouldn't taste so good. And you know you.
(34:31):
Ever thought about what a human tastes like?
That fucking weird army hammer. Fucking gross weirdo.
No, I've never I've heard that it tastes like chicken.
Most things do. Algier tastes like chicken.
I mean, I think it's because it's the white meat.
Well, fucking how offensive thatis.
(34:55):
So. Yeah.
So those things bother me about the movie.
You. Know what bothers me about the
movie? What?
The main thing that bothers me about the movie.
What's the next thing I was going to say?
This pig wins third place. No, he wins second.
He wins 2nd I believe. I don't.
Know he got a bronze medal. Bronze to me is fucking third
place. Oh, was it bronze?
(35:16):
OK, I. Don't know, I wrote bronze in my
notes. I couldn't.
Be wrong, go ahead. They have a fucking parade.
Who's the pick? Who's the pick that beat Wilbur
fucking Frank over here Fucking put on that?
Win my parade. Put on the best show eaten all
winter I. Got a spot a friend to rub my
ass right now. They're not saying anything. 11
(35:38):
the gold medal, but they fuckinghave a marching band parade for
Wilbur. Wait.
What is the 1st place pig doing?Just sitting in its own shit?
But it's just a really good looking pig you.
Didn't hear him talk. Exactly.
Well, here's the other problem with it.
All of this pomp and circumstance, this motherfucker
(35:58):
wins $25? Yeah.
How much? Was that in 1973 though?
Echo how much was $25 in 1973? Seem like 200 bucks from in.
2013 dollars.com $25 in 1973 is equivalent in purchasing power
to about $181.01 today. So increase.
(36:21):
Of 100. 50 echo dollars and stopso 180 bucks all this for guess
what he. Still made more than what you
just sold on eBay so you could suck a Dick.
Barely. I'm almost caught up to Wilbur.
And give you a bronze medal. Go ahead, I want a parade.
(36:42):
Give me a parade. I deserve a parade.
So that also. That bothered me.
So so so. Much.
So, yeah, so 1000 minutes. So we're getting beyond all
these nitpicky, like in the world things.
There's a lot of things I don't like.
We already talked about the songs.
There's so many, like forgettable.
I I didn't remember this being amusical, honestly.
(37:03):
Like I said, I watched this in school at least two or three
times. And if I'm not mistaken, I think
Charlotte's Web was the first live theatrical performance I
ever saw or done. OK.
I'm sorry, kindergarten or firstgrade, We went to AI think it
was another elementary school, might have been a middle school,
(37:23):
and they put on a performance ofCharlotte's Web and I just, I
vaguely remember it. And then we went back to school
and watched the watch the animated version.
And then we read the book in either second or third grade.
I think it was actually maybe 4th grade.
And then we watched it again, soI got a little excited.
(37:43):
I'm like, OK, at least it's going to be entertaining because
there's music involved. It's not like the web spinning
song that Charlotte sings like takes forever.
It is incredibly tedious. It it's just.
Yeah, that lots in common song has a lot of real terrible
singing in it. Real bad took me out of it.
(38:06):
Yeah, it's, it's it's, it's awful.
And then there's a lot of voice.It's just a very whiny movie,
like Between Fern. 73 on a farm.In Iowa, Nixon was an office.
Come on now. Between Fern and Wilbur, it's
just kind of hard to sit and listen to because they are
(38:28):
protagonists and there's so muchof it that's just kind of
grading at your nerves, you. Don't.
You don't, especially. From an adult perspective,
animated movies didn't care about the adult perspective in
1973. They were specifically made for
the childhood audience. And now, and I can see we're
throwing bones. I get that point They.
Get that point, But it doesn't make it enjoyable for us to
watch. And I really just didn't.
(38:50):
Yeah. I just was not not about it.
Agreed. Did not enjoy it from that
perspective at all. I also didn't like the end of
the movie. So like, and I know that I know
all the like, the storytelling stuff is also, I don't know how
much, you know, creative liberties they took with the
(39:10):
original story of the novel, butthe end of the movie is when
Charlotte pass, Wilbur takes care of these, you know these.
514 eggs bro if I I struggle pushing one child out of my
vagina but. Also, those 514 eggs probably
don't equal Jillian at 8 lbs at at, you know, minutes old if.
(39:31):
I was the size of a spider. I'm sure it would. 21 point
Samantha, what does a spider Hey, Echo, tell me about a
spider's vagina. I'm not quite.
Sure how to. Help you.
Fair, Fair, fair, fair, Tory. I'm losing every team in my life
(39:51):
right now. Yeah, but like, they just leave
and I'm like, man, it's like Wilbur gonna fucking kill
himself. I know.
Right. But then full circle, full
circle, 3 little runs couldn't, couldn't fly away.
So. Like again, the messaging behind
it is fine, yeah, but. But then he had like the
soliloquy to them and I was like, Wilbur.
(40:12):
Wilbur that's way too fucking long, bro.
They're little children, just born.
They they cannot carry your regrets with them.
Wilbur. Come on now, Wilbur.
Needs a fucking therapist. Yeah.
Oh, he has his fucking spiders and stuttering geese.
And Templeton and his babies. Templeton don't give a fuck.
(40:34):
Templeton is maybe the most selfish protagonist in the
history of anything. He's like a borderline.
I honestly remember Templeton being more of an antagonist than
anything. And like, Templeton's not a bad
dude. Temple just like yeah, give me.
The food, he's lazy and he's andhe's motivated by food.
Exactly. He's like, oh, you'll give me
that egg if I do this, OK. Fucking Icon.
(40:56):
Yeah, this movie blows. WWTD.
So so I need your help with one other piece of my note before we
get into performances because everything else I have contacts
for but we did watch this like 11 days ago.
The only thing I've written downI don't understand is quote UN
quote. Fuck that fucking frog.
(41:18):
The frog. I don't know why I'm mad at a
frog. Why are you mad at a frog?
So with your Immaculate notes, if you want to read them to help
me. Oh no, no, no, that's fine.
We don't. At what point?
Early, early. This is in between.
This is literally like after, like right after Wilbur's like
(41:42):
saved from being killed when Fern's like whining and crying
about injustice and you know, saves Wilbur.
So it's early. Let me see.
I'm trying to also look it up aswell.
It's only for the movie. I have no idea.
I don't have any notes about a frog.
(42:05):
Beautiful. Oh, isn't it like, doesn't she
have like like the like not the boyfriend, but like he has like
a frog and like he he ruffles some feathers.
Maybe I don't know, it's unimportant.
What frogs don't have feathers like he like gets loose and like
(42:25):
Wilbur chases after him or something.
I don't know something I can think of.
I I thought it was maybe you hadsomething that was more.
Important No, I haven't noticed about how the pig climbed a
ladder. Like do.
That was it before or after that, Frank?
1st place pig can't climb a ladder.
Uncle was the pig's name. Uncle Pig Uncle.
Pig on 1st place I have. An uncle pig?
(42:50):
Yeah. I don't.
I don't know, man. I don't know what else you want
from here. So let's talk about performances
now. The voice cast in this thing is
wild. It is.
I mean, look Demi Reynolds Angel.
So Debbie Reynolds is one of thetwo people I have.
She's. An Angel.
On my MVP list, she has a caring, soft voice that is
(43:13):
comforting. Perfect.
It is perfect for the character of Charlotte.
I agree it. Is motherly.
It is. Yeah, it is.
Caring. It is welcoming.
Considerate like you get all of that from from the voice.
Absolutely. Paul Lindis Templeton the rat is
the MVP of the movie. If you're looking at it from
what do people remember about this movie?
(43:33):
As proven by the live action movie, it's Templeton song and
his like absolutely flawless gluttonous performance.
Putting Paul Lynn's voice into alecherous rat is a genius
decision. No, notes Paul, Just be Paul
Lind. Yeah, no, I I mean, I agree.
(43:55):
It's the most, it's the most charismatic character, and it
makes you want to root for him like it.
It makes you want to, you know, want things to go right for him.
Look how Sassy is on the box. Look at him.
Hi I. Don't think he sounded like
that. Hi, hold on.
I have to do Paul in. Hold on full speed ahead.
(44:18):
I'm Templeton the rat. There we go.
The better. It's just like, it's just, I'm
sorry. Match Game.
Just slightly homosexual Nick Lathan.
Nick would agree with you. How old was Paul Lind when he
did this movie? How old?
Paul Lind in this movie. 33 No. No 50 something.
(44:41):
No Paul Lind was 47 years old when this movie came out.
So yeah, I mean, that'd be my point.
I mean, Debbie Reynolds is also a correct answer, but they are
the only two people in this movie that totally didn't like
piss me off. Who do you want to go with I?
(45:01):
Agree Poland. Poland as Templeton the Rat, the
MVP of Charlotte. Yeah, but Debbie, Debbie, Debbie
Reynolds, definitely solid performance in it.
And I mean and like. She might, she might pull down.
It should have been MVP nomination.
Yeah, when and when you're like the title character, you know,
you've got a kind of, you've gota kind of have it together.
(45:23):
I think that web spinning song is ultimately what cost her for
me like. Her fault or the writing?
I think she still performed it well.
Performed. It well, but it.
Was just on I. I don't think I think most of
the music in this song in this movie was unnecessary.
Oh sure. Again, like I said, like it.
Didn't need to be amazing. 6570 minute it didn't.
Need to be a movie? This is 94 minutes and it feels
(45:47):
every like a 94 minute movie should not feel every minute of
it and this one does alright. So I'm going to go with Paul in
as the MVP. So we have quite a list for LVP,
but I think like all my LV PS are pretty like minor in the
(46:08):
grand scope of things and LVP has to be Wilbur it.
Has to be. It has to be Henry Gibson for
Wilbur because which I hate. 'Cause I love Henry Gibson.
Oh, same. But you have a responsibility
when you are this pivotal character to deliver on it.
Like you've got to, and especially when it's an animated
(46:33):
movie, you've got to bring that like gravitas through your
voice. And I know we've said it before
with other like voice acting andstuff like that, like it's not
easy, but if it's done correctly, you get behind the
character. Like like I was ready for
Templeton in it more than Wilbur.
(46:55):
And that's not what was supposedto happen.
He is obnoxious. Sure, he has some some pizzazz
to his singing voice, but. Was he even the singing voice?
I think somebody else was the singing voice for Wilbur.
No, it's not credited as such. Pardon me.
(47:17):
So Henry Gibson, I know him as the United appeal for the dead
guy in the Kentucky Fried Movie.He also was the the the priest
and Wedding Crashers and he's been in like so many other
things. So I never put two and two
together though. Like that's who.
This is, yeah. So I have I have plenty of other
(47:38):
people on my list. So I have Ferns Mom.
What a boring bitch. That was just women in the 1970s
bro God. Damn it, I am catching so many
else to you on this podcast. You really are.
She's just or or oomph in her voice whatsoever but you fucking
nailed it. There was a deer that had a
(48:00):
weird ass voice that I also didn't like.
Was it a deer or was it a calf? Because there was a.
Calf that saying so there was a calf that saying, Yep, during
that lots and common song, it was the worst voice.
I wrote that, I said this calf singing voice and lots and
common song is the word more than like two or three lines.
(48:21):
Slam dunk, Absolutely. But yeah, that was terrible.
I don't even know. If I could pinpoint who it was,
I don't even know who was credited as that cast through
the. I don't think it had a.
Specific a specific credit because there's some people that
are just credited as just additional voices.
Yeah. So.
So I don't know if we could evendo it.
If we wanted to, but also if I if it wasn't Wilbur.
(48:45):
Pardon me, that duckling that orthat goosling Jeffrey that
talked like this little mafia. Twerp.
Think about what I just said. A goosling, A Gosling that.
Talked like a. Mafia punk that like befriends
Wilbur and thinks he's a pig himaround and thinks he's a pig
like. Just.
(49:06):
Like, it's so annoying. Yeah, I don't want to hear it.
And that's. Also Don.
Messick, one of the most legendary voice actors ever.
This is the voice of Scooby-doo.Fucking Astro Motley.
Stick to dogs. Hampton.
You know all of it Papa Smurf. But yeah, stick to dogs bro.
(49:30):
Also not an MVP or an LVP but the narrator for this movie is
Rex Allen who is a very very famous.
His own is the the Arizona Cowboy.
He was the narrator of all like the Disney nature documentaries
and whatnot. I could have swore that was the
Motel 6 guy. I'll leave for a minute and
we'll leave the. Light on for you.
(49:52):
So that also just took me out because it wasn't who I thought
it was. So, yeah.
So that all that being said is unfortunately Henry Gibson as as
Wilbur. Yeah.
So that's our MVP and our LVP for Charlotte's Web.
We have to hit me with a dumb question of the week, even
though I've had plenty. Yeah, you, you really have had.
(50:14):
Had plenty. Umm, if, if there was.
One word written in a web to. Describe you?
What would it be? Oh man, what a question.
Oh, probably Hong Kong boy, it just has to be one word, yeah.
Or no, I guess 'cause there was like some.
(50:36):
Pig like it could be, it could be like a short phrase honk boy,
honk, honk boy. Yeah, I think that's.
Appropriate. For me, yeah, probably.
But. It has to be like a family of
spiders. You're so funny. 514 of them
actually not do it yourself. So the other reason why
(50:58):
Charlotte's Web this is I'm I'm gonna supplant my instead of a
rant of the week, because sometimes we have bad movies.
I'm just ranting throughout. We're going to have mullet story
time. No.
Great. Let me take a nap.
You already been sleeping for the past 20 minutes?
No, my eyes have. Been closed.
That's one point for me in college, the way that Samantha I
(51:20):
met, if we haven't referenced itbefore, as we met through if
you've been listening to 500 something episodes.
Of this for however long we've been doing this and don't know
that we met doing it. Improv and sketch comedy.
Go fuck yourself SO. Our probably our favorite show
or one of our favorite shows we ever did was the 5th sketch.
I think it's my favorite. It had like the biggest turn.
(51:43):
Out we have like literally like not even standing room like we
had people like sitting in the aisles it's it's like it's big
Firehouse. It is the most memorable show
we. Ever did?
For so many different reasons. And our act one closer was a
sketch called Frat Boy Charlotte's Web that was
essentially A frat douchebag having a bad time at the party,
(52:05):
going outside and, like, lamenting about his life.
And he gets visited by Charlotteand Wilbur to help him along in
his journey. Charlotte was played by our
friend Norma, who was like, literally 4 foot eight.
Yeah, like, she was a tiny little spider.
She made an Immaculate. Like spider costume for herself.
(52:25):
And she sounded like a sweet little spider.
Beautiful. The pig was prayed by 1 Augie
Artillas, friend of the show, one of our best friends, former
guests. You know, piece.
Of shit, just a fucking. Dirtbag.
And this is him. In 2007.
When he was give me a second 25 years old, we dressed a 25.
(52:51):
Year old Cuban. Man up like Wilbur the pig.
And he made it a roll of a lifetime.
Like if, if they're I'm going to.
Watch it immediately after this if there were.
Oscars. He He could have won one.
He could have. Been in the running if there
were sketch Oscars and there wasa category that said.
Best Cuban portrayal of a pig? Auggie might get nominated
(53:15):
because we just gave him like this.
Like, I've never been a better director in my life than telling
Auggie, Auggie, when you're a pig and you say I have a curly
tail, you got to be so fucking excited.
You have a curly tail. You better shake that goddamn
thing. You better show it off at one
point, like because he's so excited and spoiler, I'm not
going to get into the minutiae of of like the sketch because
(53:37):
it's in two. 1007 and it gets. Dark and it gets offensive.
Yeah. This was like almost 20 years
ago. Yeah.
But the the frat. Boy goes like, in and out of the
scene to, you know, like, followthe advice that Charlotte is
spinning into her web. And then when he comes back,
(53:57):
they're always like looking for updates.
The my two favorite lines in thesketch.
Or are Norma Ishara going hey sour puss, welcome back to Frown
town. You see that all the time And
then? At one point.
Auggie, Sorry Auggie, at one point in the sketch has to has
to. Say you know and I have a curly
(54:19):
tail. Not even referencing this.
What? What are you doing?
Auggie. Like the frat point comes back
in. And like, like the front boy
like summarizes what just happened.
And Wilbur supposed to go did itwork?
And I gave I like you need to say it like you are the most
gregarious, outgoing things to go.
Did it work? And he gets up on his back legs
(54:40):
and like, like does like a pig like almost like the Wilbur
backflip in the movie and like does a full spin.
It's like why he committed 'cause he's just so.
Enthusiastic. No.
I gave him the notes like. You have to be whatever I
remembered about this movie in 2007, I remembered more than
from when I first saw it than what I'm remembering now from us
(55:00):
doing that sketch. It just shows the passage of
time and how our brains deteriorate.
It'll be a sketch that I remember for the rest of my
life. They're gonna be plenty sketches
I don't remember. I will always remember Frat boy,
Charlotte's Web 'cause I think it's better.
I think it's better in this movie.
So I I would agree with you. It's also a lot fucking shorter.
I'll play. That much?
So yeah, that's that's malt story time.
(55:21):
Anything else on Charlotte's Web?
Cool. Fuck you.
Why do? You look at me like that because
that was. Rude as hell.
I love you. Anything else dickhead?
Just kidding. What's?
What I think we, I think we've covered.
All of it What? Are you?
Are you lucky? Goodbye.
Goodbye, goodbye. What was I like?
(55:44):
I was just reading my notes. Oh oh sorry, say it again.
The Spider. Babies when they were flying
away. Goodbye.
Goodbye, goodbye, Goodbye spiderbabies.
Am I locking in my score? Of a 5 of A5, You know what, I
think that, and I don't know if maybe we're just jaded, but no,
(56:07):
I'm going to lower it to 4, to afour and a half, a 4 1/2, yeah.
There really wasn't a lot that Ilike, I know, but I I don't know
if it's just cause like we're. Assholes.
And we're Jade. I'm gonna I'm gonna keep my
score of a four. I think 4.25 yeah, I think this.
Movie. Is the reason why I kept my
(56:29):
score is because I want to lowerit based on my own personal
enjoyment? But this movie is not for me.
So I'm, I'm treating unfairly. I'm I'm treating it unfairly
based on the advancements and entertainment around the the
field of animation over the past50 years and growth of your
brain. Yes.
Yeah. But that being said, boring.
(56:50):
Songs way too long. Of runtime for a kids movie yeah
annoying characters and also like the book is always much
better but like the memories I have of the book it is a really
sweet and a heartfelt story and like in the book when Charlotte
dies like you feel it well that's why I was trying to point
out when I talked about. How I felt it when Leo did it in
(57:13):
that movie, the way that they portrayed it and did it like I
felt that like that. That hit my emotion.
Don't feel it in this. Not at all.
Not at all. It's like.
OK, five point. 25 being on the same level as.
American Hustle is appropriate. So that's our little special
episode. We'll get to Across the Universe
next week, along with hopefully we also.
(57:34):
If it's out of order though, fuck off, we have Dungeons and
Dragons. Coming up, we have gone, baby,
gone. Coming up, we have several of
our streaming service legacy sequel Wrap It Up Movies and we
are on the precipice of episode 550 and we have Halloween.
We got a lot of exciting stuff coming up here in Mirror's
Movies, so stay tuned. Wherever you get your podcast,
(57:54):
stay subscribed. Be on the lookout for some
possible changes or news relatedto that.
Send us an e-mail of Mary with movies@gmail.com.
That's what you think of the show. patreon.com/arcade audio
for bonus content. Facebook and Twitter for Married
with Movies as well. And you can follow me at your
host Malt Trade on Instagram. You can also find me on eBay.
Your host mullet. Check us out.
(58:16):
Buy some of our shit. Yeah, I came with your Sam on
Instagram for me. Not on eBay.
What would you sell on eBay? All your shit, I don't know you.
Love your own shit to sell. Oh.
Smutty books? Great.
Want some slightly used books? More ways than one.
That's disgusting, Chris. Well, my toys are used too.
(58:39):
Even grosser used in the. Same way for Mullet.
This is Mullet signing out for this week's episode of Married
With Movies. We'll catch you next time on our
couch. Slash the movies down the road.
Road, not across the street. I wanted to say it, but I was
like, oh, I. Can't.
It's inappropriate. Thank you for playing arcade
(59:20):
audio. Play more at arcadeaudio.net.
Welcome to Arcade Audio. Hello and welcome to this week's
(00:40):
episode of Married with Movies. I'm one of your hosts, Samantha
Mullet. See, next to me on the couch is
the other host, my beautiful husband, Chris Mullet.
Why are you laughing? At me.
No, no, no, no. I'm not laughing at you.
Let me. You're not laughing with me
because I'm not laughing. I'm grimacing in pain.
Because so at that same moment was like, man, I got to take a
(01:02):
big. Old shit so we can stop us.
Let's start this over. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no. If anything, this is going to be
like a 25 minute episode. Keep.
It tight it is well, my stomach.Hurt it is so as you were like
grimacing, I was like, man, whata great video podcast this would
be. It's just us sitting here
fucking blankets looking like shit, being like Oh no.
(01:24):
I'd pay to watch it. I wouldn't.
I should get an OR. We should get paid to.
An OF we should get an only fans.
I pay while living it. I would not pay to watch.
It I paid for this couch. Yeah, it's Friday, May 13th.
Just keeping everyone on their toes.
What? I thought that you were right
(01:45):
for a second. I just got to see.
Damn it, it was a Tuesday. I just sort of date and the name
out there. No, it is Wednesday, August
27th. If you're new here, welcome.
You're joining us to quote Ed Norton at the end of Fight Club.
You're joining us at a very interesting time in our lives.
But we persist, like Elizabeth Warren, by being married to one
(02:14):
another. That's how we get through it
most of the time. And in between that, we also
watch a lot of movies and we talk to you fine folks and
hopefully that all your problemsgo away every time you listen to
us or they get worse. Probably the.
Latter but. I don't know why I suggested we
record the night. I don't know either.
I'm like we we were prepared. You were home late.
(02:37):
We were supposed to, yeah, we were supposed to record
yesterday and. But we're still going on.
With it happened and then we were going to record tomorrow,
but my plans tonight changed. The plans tonight are
specifically around something that may impact all of you
that's listening to the show. The only thing I will say is be
on the lookout for potential changes to the podcast.
(03:01):
It's not going to ideally impacthow you listen to it or where
you get it from. But just if you notice anything
lately are coming up soonreachoutmeredithmovies@gmail.com
or at Mary W Movies on Twitter, let us know and we can help
answer any questions for you. But that being said, to save
time, I was like, well, it's just recorded right now.
(03:24):
So we are, we are full blown improvising it.
I didn't think about the fact that I've been teaching class
all week and it's a class I'm very unfamiliar with.
So I've just been My words have just become big old sluts
lately. Well, I mean.
I I am portmanteauing so many words or I just like, I know
(03:45):
what I want to say, but I get tongue tied about which word I
want to say. I'm turning into Scott Signer.
So my dream is coming true and now I'm like, yeah, let me talk
for another 45 minutes. You're the worst.
I know. How are you?
I'm. Fine, Yeah, you know I'm here.
(04:06):
My stomach hurts. The last time we recorded was
for which movie. I don't know what last movie we
talked about was. Hey Flate.
So prior to me going out of townfor work last week?
Last week, yeah. Yes, you were.
(04:28):
You were gone last week. All kind of.
Times a flat circle times a. Poor.
There's less than 200 days till the end of the year.
Oh. Lord, we watched today's movie,
which I'm sure if you're lookingat what today's movies is,
you're like, wait a second, holdon, Wasn't this supposed to be
like across the universe or Dungeons and Dragons or gone
baby gone or something off of like the wrap it up like
(04:52):
Netflix? Or anything other than
Charlotte's Web. We I've always had the caveat
that at any time we discuss a movie with Jillian, it's our.
Fucking life. We could do it.
We could do whatever the fuck wewant, people.
I mean, fucking movies change their release dates all the
time. I'm just imagining there's a
(05:13):
person out there like remember the Ryan Gosling papyrus sketch
for Avatar? Like a guy, like there's a fan
out there of ours. She's like, they said it was
gonna be across the universe. Like I've ruined their
spreadsheet. I've ruined their ruined their
own poop reports. But when movies kind of come up
and we talk about the Majillion,if we haven't done it for the
(05:33):
show, we're like, all right, well, this is just going to be
this week's episode, then fuck it.
It's a lot easier to watch than it is anything I just mentioned.
So these are going to happen every now and then.
That being said, we watched thisover a week ago because when I
did. On the 16th.
Yes, because when I came back webasically came.
(05:55):
I came back for us to directly go to Lakeland for a toy show
this past weekend. Not our best.
Actually are worse, no. A couple things at the end, see.
Shout out shout out to the people with like an hour to go
in the show who bought all of our Breaking Bad funkos which
are not cheap at all and. I'm an actually very rare for
(06:16):
us. Yes, but what it did embolden me
to do is I am now an official eBay seller.
Baby. Yeah.
Baby. 22 items online. And and only like 48.
Hours. Yeah.
No, no. Sunday afternoon.
Sunday 70. Two hours, yeah.
Yeah, eventually. We're going to be averaging an
(06:37):
item a day and eventually we'll hopefully have nothing in my
garage that's going to be. A lot of work, but I'm here for
it. Great.
If you have boxes, send it to usat marriagemovies@gmail.com.
Drop them off at our house. So yeah, so we were in Lakeland
hanging out with my mom doing the toy show.
So not much else been going on, right?
We haven't been watching or doing anything else.
(06:57):
We started the season, second season of Peacemaker.
We. Did.
That's about it, right? That's.
Really it? Yeah.
Like that's really it. Well, we've been we.
Haven't had time for anything. True.
Just so we don't really have time for this to this episode of
going too long because our last couple episodes have been
pretty, pretty extensive. So let's try to keep this one
(07:20):
tight and short. Just like Herve Villainchez.
I'm sorry, I don't know why I made that reference.
The little dude from Fancy Island.
You don't know Fancy Island. You know Herbie.
I know, Deplane. Deplane.
Yeah. That guy, you can't say that
anymore, but you know well. I just said it well.
Great. So yeah, we watched Charlotte's
(07:41):
Web. I, for the life of me before we
started recording, was trying toremember how this came about.
Oh, I remember what it was. So the reason why we watch this
movie is because Jillian, I think she said she had watched
it at school previously or she watched the live action version.
No, she watched this one. She did OK, but I have just a
(08:05):
massive note on my phone that's just funny observations, jokes,
things that nature and just likestories from our life that I
constantly had to. And there was one several months
ago, we were at a bookstore thatwe really, really like that has
a a banned book section. And Charlotte's Web was in that
section because? Of course it is.
(08:25):
It's banned. What was the reason why?
It's banned because of the talking animals.
I'm tired of this earth, this people.
I'm tired of being caught in thetangle of their lives.
So Jillian went up to the section and we explained to her
that people banned books becausethey have a problem with it
based on their sexual orientation, religion, etcetera,
and Charlotte's Web. And she goes, they banned
(08:45):
Charlotte's Web. And she was like incredulous.
She was. Like she could not.
Believe I was reading I was just, you know, if I if I'm down
or whatever, I'll read these andthey make me feel better.
And I shared it and I was like, I have not seen this movie since
elementary school. And I remember loving it as a
kid and I was like, well, let's watch it as a big family on the
(09:05):
weekend and and see how it goes.So here we are watching the
cartoon of Charlotte's Web. This movie came out in the 70s.
I want to say there's no way this is any newer than that.
This movie came out in 1973. 1973.
So Samantha, go ahead and read the package or just continue to
(09:27):
to sit there. I had to go to the fuck up some
spreadsheet, sorry. Oh, to see how many how how much
wiggle room you got. Yeah, basically.
What do you got? I have 23.
Oh. Charlotte's Web.
I almost thought I was going to mess it up.
And then my. Charlotte webs have you had you
(09:47):
said Charlotte webs there I probably would have a shit my
pants. B Charlotte Web ended the
podcast. Forever.
Yeah, and and C made you finish the podcast as we sit here in my
shed Charlotte webs. No, I'm just kidding.
I know a timeless classic for the entire family now.
Like don't eat you can't even look for.
(10:09):
The skaters you can't. Even look at me.
Can a small grey spider become agiant when it comes to saving a
friend? She can if her name is Charlotte
and she resides in Charlotte's Web.
EB White's timeless children's story comes magically to life in
this colorful, tune filled animated musical.
(10:31):
Join Charlotte, a young girl named Fern Arabel, Wilbur the
Pig, Templeton the Rat, AK Mullet, and the other delightful
barnyard. What?
No, I was being surprised. Oh, oh, but you did mess the
other thing up. No.
I know, but you did a second no?I was making a joke because of
the edition. And the other delightful
barnyard animals in this enduring story of friendship,
(10:53):
trust, and love. Charlotte may be small when
compared to her friends, but herloyalty and determination when
Wilbur's life is threatened is as big as the barn in which she
lives. Sorry.
You're fine. Here's an extraordinary animated
adventure that will keep you laughing and singing along with
(11:14):
the unforgettable Charlotte and all her friends.
So it's one despite your throat's best efforts, Ayo?
Oh man. So.
I'm hanging on. Yes, you got one the spare if
Samantha hits 25 fuck ups reading the box and I get to put
into the queue any movie that I wish yet, which I have plenty of
(11:37):
ideas I'm. Sure, sure you do.
As long as you're not Charlotte's Web Two, I'm.
I'm OK they they made a Charlotte too I believe, right
of. Course he did.
He'd be white rolling in his grade.
Yeah, so like I said, I'd not. You've obviously seen this movie
before. Did you see this movie in
school? I feel like this is.
(11:58):
AI don't fucking remember. No, I think, I think I, I think
I may have. I honestly think it may have
been at summer camp probably like when it rained.
Like they would wheel in the TV and like we would watch movies.
Yeah. Oh, they would still wheel the
TV in my classroom. Oh yeah.
It was probably at summer camp if I had to guess.
So I'll share. I'll share the story of.
I'll share the 2 main reasons why this movie kind of sticks in
(12:26):
my crawl in just a moment, but score it I'm.
Going to give it a 5. Giving it a four.
Yeah, I was like. It this so not the first, not
the first time that we have experienced this on the podcast
(12:47):
where it is a movie that is the epitome of childhood rose tinted
glasses of like, you don't know any better.
No, especially because I've not realized this movie is like 50
years old. I didn't realize it was that old
either. I didn't also realize, well,
because of that, I guess I commend it because being a
(13:12):
feature length theatrical animated movie at that time is
besides Disney like largely unprecedented.
I didn't realize this was Hanna Barbera that did this.
So Hanna Barbera is the studio that technically like put this
together. It doesn't feel like it at all.
(13:35):
It's Hanna Barbera through like Paramount, but that gives it a
certain like charm as well. Also, the Sherman Brothers are
some of the most legendary song makers, particularly of like
children's entertainment of all time.
The Sherman Brothers did fuckingMary Poppins and Chitty Chitty
(13:55):
Bang Bang and did things like the fucking Jungle Book and It's
a Small World, like you name it.Like they fucking they, they
are, you know, the most preeminent song makers for their
genre of their time. So like the pedigree is there.
(14:16):
It's just like kind of very boring.
It's also pretty redundant as well.
And it is 94 minutes. I don't remember the book
because I read this book multiple times as a child.
(14:38):
Love the book. I don't remember it being this
kind of like, boring. And that's like, the book
doesn't have music. The book doesn't have, you know,
some of the other high jinks that happen, especially from,
you know, we can't visualize it.So what do you think it is about
this movie that makes it as adults not as translatable?
(15:02):
It's bad. Well, you give it a 5.
That's not necessarily bad, I mean.
I gave it a five more for like the nostalgia part of it, but I
just don't think it does justiceas much justice as it should to
the classic story of Charlotte'sWeb.
Like the things that it said on the back of the box, like, no,
it didn't do. And like, ask me one of the
(15:23):
song. Ask me how do the songs go?
I couldn't recite, I mean. No, I couldn't tell you.
That's my point. Like I couldn't tell you, like
the music wasn't great. Was it catchy?
I don't remember it, you know, it.
It was more on like the forgettable side, like and that
and that. That's sad because it is such a
(15:44):
classic story. It's such a great story.
But had I not watched this I'd I'd be fine.
It is nostalgic comfort food in terms like the idea of it is
exciting. Yeah.
And it's it, it is kind of comforting the way to like, you
(16:07):
know, we watch this with our child.
I watched it around the same ageas her.
She enjoyed it. But there's, it's a incredibly
circular story. This whole thing could be an
e-mail like like. Like why did I have to?
Why did I have to attend this hour long kickoff goal also?
I think an inherent problem withthe movie is that for 90 minutes
(16:29):
this whiny and grateful little pig literally just keeps getting
fucking chance after chance after chance and and honestly.
For what reason? What he do for Charlotte?
What he do for Charlotte, What he do for?
Fern what he do for anybody. I mean, Wilbur is a neppo pig is
(16:52):
what I'm getting at here. It's so again, like we were dumb
as kids. Every kid is fucking dumb except
my child, right? But Wilbur wouldn't have gotten
anywhere if it wasn't for the kindness of others.
Sure. So I don't know what that's
supposed to mean. So I have several reads on, like
(17:13):
the story in the movie. You know, like familial trauma
putting all your energy into ungrateful people, apparently.
I mean I can relate. I, I, What the fuck does that
mean? Not you.
You look directly at me. Who else is here for me to look
at? Let me.
Look over there. Terry.
It's the way you hey our our thewrestling buddy that shouldn't
(17:37):
be in our living buddy. No fucking wrestling shit of
Hollywood Hogan that lives in our living room, but.
Only because we'd like to make it sit up and look at your mom
when she's here. Yeah, it scares me every
morning, but like, the story itself is this pig is born.
(17:58):
This girl doesn't want to die dying because it's the runt.
I guess the the story of like everybody deserves a chance.
Yeah, yeah, a fair shake. No matter their size or whatever
it is. It's got a certain message
behind it. But the way that it's put
together in this story and again, animated movies back then
outside of Disney, we're not looking towards, you know,
(18:23):
pulling out heartstrings or doing anything besides
entertaining this movie. It should do that.
But it's not particularly exciting.
It's not particularly emotional.It's not particularly sad.
Like when spoiler Charlotte dies, I'm just like, all right,
there's Spider. Like it's going to happen.
Like she told you, she's going to die soon.
Yeah. And then she dies.
(18:44):
Honestly, it was more moving. So also like Charlotte's Web is
also something that's prominent because the movie Leo, the
animated movie Leo that came outa few years ago, Jillian's
really into it is Adam Sandler'sThe Iguana.
And. It's and it's like his journey
and that's also a musical and stuff like that there.
(19:05):
Charlotte's Web plays a pivotal role in that movie.
And like the way that they talk about it and like just the
gravitas that like the teacher reading part of the book, like
that part when she dies, way more moving than actually seeing
the movie portray it. You know what I mean?
Like that's and that's that's tough like that.
(19:26):
Then that shouldn't be the case.But you know, you have like this
ungrateful little pig who yes, Iagree with you, Chris, like the
the story's supposed to be like everyone deserves a chance no
matter what. But I think that if you, I think
that this tells the wrong story because it's not, oh, you
(19:49):
should, you deserve a chance because like no matter who you
are, like if you're the runt or whatever, but like you've got to
put some effort into it. And I think that's the part
that's missing from this. And I think that's maybe why I
don't relate because that's whatI believe.
Like, yes, everyone deserves a chance.
You've got to give people grace and you've got to, you know,
help others when you can. But you know.
(20:14):
They've got to help themselves too.
Like they've got to do somethinglike Wilbur could have done a
fucking flip. He did.
He did multiple backflips. He could have done a better one.
He could have done a. Quadruple.
I will say it's like ACM punk moonsault.
It's a little crooked. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's like he could have done a. Second one he could do a double
axle A. Quadruple axle, I mean high
(20:36):
expectations. So here, shoot for the moon,
you'll land amongst the stars so.
I want to get into the minutiae of the story.
Yeah. OK.
As we talk about like, what's the problem with this movie?
Yeah. Let's talk about the minutiae of
Charlotte's Web The Animated. We're a fucking movie review
podcast. No one would fucking listen
beyond the few that already do for like if we were doing it
(20:57):
like you do every time it's good.
Sorry, you know didn't like it. You know I.
Thought that's what. You used to you perform in this
podcast like my mother lives herlife, and if there's anything
that'll ever make you pay more attention in a movie or be
better, it's that phrase right there.
(21:17):
Also, I hope my mom's not listening to this, so fucking
suck it up. We're talking about the minutiae
of Charlotte's love. Before we do that, are there
things that you like? You gave it A5 so you didn't
think it was necessarily bad andthis things necessarily good.
So what are some of the things you ended up enjoying about the
(21:38):
film? All.
Right, So what did I end up enjoying about the film?
I ended up enjoying I. I don't know.
I liked some of the sassiness that was going on in this film.
It wasn't anything in particular, but it's like that
that Ram I liked. I liked the scenes with the Ram
(22:00):
there's. Some good tudeness like.
There's some good like sassinessand like, I get it like.
Was yeah. Did Martin Scorsese base Jimmy 2
times on the goose in this movie?
Yeah, I think so. I think so, I think.
So got it, got it, got it, got it, got.
It Yeah. So I, yeah, I just I like the
(22:23):
toot in it. I like some of I like some of
the the minor character build out.
So I'm not going to lie, if it'snot like Wilbur specifically, I
I don't hate to care. Like obviously Templeton's my
boy in that the fact that. You are Templeton.
I am slowly but surely morphing in the Templeton the rat.
I think it was also like, didn'tTempleton the rat get reference
(22:44):
for something and that's why we were like.
Somebody said it and that's why we said.
And that's why I was like, Oh yeah, we should watch
Charlotte's Web. So I can just confirm or deny if
that's the case. So my favorite bit of trivia,
not about this movie, about the live action Charlotte's Web is
they put that movie together andran it for test audiences in the
biggest feedback they got is that people were mad that
(23:07):
Templeton song had been removed from the from the film.
And they're they had to literally go back in and make
the the Templeton song so that people it was missing.
And that being said, it's far and away the best part of the
movie. Yeah, I mean it it it's it's a
(23:28):
banger. It's, it's hysterical, the.
Most banger of of that you can get out of a movie like this.
And then like the reprise is absolutely fired.
Like the fact that it you get a good bit of of space in between
the song and his, what we want to call it a binge essentially
(23:48):
around everything it is. It's also unfair because he is
essentially Buster for Jones. Yeah.
And I think you said that duringit.
Oh. I did, yeah.
And and I was like, yeah, and that's you.
That's why you're so mad. All right, now hold on.
You can call me Templeton the Rat.
You can spit on my leg and tell me it's raining.
You can call me Templeton the Rat.
(24:09):
But I am not Buster for Jones. That there's there is not.
That is a line. Not yet.
Is that the horseshit you're going to say to me?
Not yet. Yeah.
You piece of shit. So the lie I want to see real
(24:29):
quick. Who is Templeton in the live
action version? It is OK, Steve Buscemi like,
yeah, they nailed it. Yeah.
They got it. But to my point, that stuff,
that song, besides that, there'sreally not any other songs to me
(24:51):
that really work. I mean, yeah, there, there.
I mean, there's the I Can Talk song, that pig butt scene in
that song. Wild.
So. That's my note I.
Have a note that I can't read out loud.
(25:11):
This big happy as fuck. That's not it.
I have a note later on that justkind of summarizes what I'm
feeling here. Wilbur is a lot.
He is a whole hell of a lot in this movie.
So when he has that I can talk scene like, you know, he he
does. It's a good singing voice when
he sings it. But also in that song, I don't
(25:32):
need him backing up into the camera with just like
essentially, if this were cats, the the butt hole cut, it'd be a
backup pig hole right in my face.
Yeah. Yeah, and I'm.
Not about that it was. Unnecessary.
And yeah, and I think I think you're so right when you say
Wilbur is a lot because then like after the song, the pig, it
(25:55):
comes out, he's a fainter. And then that's something that
proceeds like, what? What are you?
You're going to get so overwhelmed and with emotion
that you're going to just faint at the most inopportune times.
You're a lot, He. Faints, he does.
Backflips. He also could cry.
(26:16):
This. This is the mullet.
Dumb question. We do.
Animals cry, Yes. Animals cry.
Like like the same tears that wedo.
Animals have tear ducks. Wild.
I think I don't know, I'm not a.You know, fucking fucking animal
tears. How do they work?
Can animals cry? Oh, I know they, but like, do
(26:37):
they cry? They can.
Produce tears, but it's not the same kind of tears that humans
cry they lubricate and protect the eyes they.
Go. Or like when they're distressed
or in pain like cats and dogs, but they don't indicate
emotional crime because animals don't have souls.
(26:57):
What if AI actually said that? Then were you have problems?
I'm telling true. Another thing I liked about the
movie, and this isn't, you know,from a story or a performance
perspective, but the fact that this movie is 52 years old and
it looked as good as it does. I I I mean it's not.
Go crazy bro. I'm not saying it looks fucking
(27:18):
pristine. It's not fucking Elio.
I mean it's. Fine, it's fine animation, it's
hand drawn animation. It's it.
Has. It has that appeal, that charm.
Yes, and we look at some of the older hand drawn animated movies
we've watched over the past several years and how there is a
disconnect between the quality in our German.
(27:40):
I was just talking about this with somebody at work recently
where someone was talking about K pop demon hunters, which, you
know, they have a child they're also also obsessed with, just
like Gillian is. And pardon me, talking about
like how they've tried to get their child to watch things from
their childhood. And I was sharing my experiences
and how, you know, for whatever reason, Gillian will watch
(28:03):
Aladdin, her Little Mermaid of Beauty and the Beast.
But if we tried to show her, youknow, Aladdin the TV series or
Timon and Pumba or things from our generation, she disconnects
with it. I feel like because of the
quality of like the animation, like it's not as good as like
the movie and it sounds as good as like what she watches now.
And it's not for everything. I also think those shows are
particularly not great because because everything, you know,
(28:26):
it's like, you know, you're getting, you know, not Robin
Williams and not, you know, you know, whatever else.
But I, I think she didn't have this problem with this movie and
I think it's because it looks better than its time.
It looks better than its air. But I just put comparison and
(28:46):
some other things. So I appreciated that.
Like I thought this was going tolook like utter shit and it
didn't. It's still old, but nicer than I
figured. So what else did you like about
the movie? I mean, I think, I think we
covered it. Things you didn't like.
(29:07):
I mean, we've already been talking about a lot.
So I I want you to give me some leeway here and I want to walk
through some, some some questions I have about the world
of Charlotte's Web. OK, so First things first.
Can so Fern knows that they're talking.
(29:28):
No, no. I don't know.
Like Fern is present for multiple scenes in the middle to
endish of the movie when Charlotte like she is standing
there as if the characters are talking.
She never once speaks to any of them or vice versa.
(29:50):
But she's just there. There's a one moment where I
think like she does say something to them.
Yeah. Or she's or like she's Oh no,
doesn't she say something to herparents?
And she sounds like totally crazy.
Yeah, because she is. Why is Fern crazy?
Because because she she's talking to the animals man.
(30:10):
Well, the odd animals are talking back then.
Well, how? Crazy is that?
How do you know? Well.
Because we're watching them talkwell.
That's your perspective. So you think this is all a
psychotic episode that Fern is experiencing instead of
Charlotte's Web? This movie should be called
Fern's Brain. So one of the most controversial
things that happened during the illustrious run of one of my
(30:34):
favorite TV series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, was that they
tried to position it to be just that Spoiler for for those of
you who may not know that like they tried to make it like this
was all like in Buffy's brain, like the whole world and
everything was in her brain. And it got such backlash
(30:54):
because. People like, I mean that that's
there's other things like that, but this is an excellent
example. Keep up.
It got such backlash because it ruins it.
It's the it's the Hill Street Blues snow globe.
It's it's unless you pull it offin such a perfect way like
Newhart is an example, right? The entire series being the
(31:16):
dream of Bob Newhart from his previous TV show is like,
brilliant, right? But now it's almost a trope,
like the whole series finale of Atlanta is predicated on.
Did any of this actually happen and ultimately, like, not
mattering? There's ways around it, sure,
but depending on the amount of investment you get from your fan
(31:37):
base and the story you're tryingto tell.
But but but but. This is Charlotte's Web.
This is Charlotte's Web. This is an animated Charlotte's
Web. But yeah, so I don't know, it
could also just be like, maybe she just imagined all of it.
Maybe she you know. She's in the middle of eating
(31:57):
Wilbur on She's the. Mac Guffin of the movie I'm.
Going to I almost literally Chuck this at you because I was
waiting for it. All right, so the second
question how fucking dumb are these people?
Because there's one thing that you can't deny, and it's that
all these people, the, the Charlotte is actually spinning
(32:18):
these webs with these messages and all these people are
thinking that it's the pig doingit, right?
At no point in any of Charlotte's messaging are they
watching or reading that messagegoing man, what a clever spider.
Right. No, they're like, oh, what a
(32:38):
radiant pig. Yeah, yeah.
No, people are fucking that crazy, Chris.
This takes place in in the 70s. Where?
So let's be fair. Iowa somewhere?
No. Do we have any listeners in
Iowa? Fuck them.
Screeze. Let's be fair, in 1973 though,
everybody knew that the fucking earth was round.
(32:58):
So what? Who are we really going to
fucking throw stones at, you know?
So I, you know what? Whatever.
Strike that one from the record.You know what?
Fine, let people fucking think apig can fucking write messages
on a web. No, fuck that, I disagree.
And also like, who the fuck cares?
(33:23):
Like why? You're not going to eat this
delicious pig because because a spider wrote a thing that said
it's radiant. Not going to lie, he's.
Fat enough? Not going to lie, some good.
Bacon. If anything, oh wait a second,
this pig also has the ability towrite messages and fucking webs.
Fry that son of a bitch up. He got to taste pretty goddamn
(33:46):
good because he's special, he's going to taste even better.
End of movie, 20 some minutes. It's a short.
It's a special instead of a whole goddamn movie we didn't
need. Zuckerman's famous pig.
Zuckerman's tasty ass pig. I mean, honestly, like and look,
(34:07):
I understand that there are people who are vegetarians, who
are vegans who don't agree with eating animals.
And I and I totally understand. I totally respect it.
I, you know, good for you that you have the willpower to do
that because, you know, if we weren't men to eat animals, they
wouldn't taste so good. And you know you.
(34:31):
Ever thought about what a human tastes like?
That fucking weird army hammer. Fucking gross weirdo.
No, I've never I've heard that it tastes like chicken.
Most things do. Algier tastes like chicken.
I mean, I think it's because it's the white meat.
Well, fucking how offensive thatis.
(34:55):
So. Yeah.
So those things bother me about the movie.
You. Know what bothers me about the
movie? What?
The main thing that bothers me about the movie.
What's the next thing I was going to say?
This pig wins third place. No, he wins second.
He wins 2nd I believe. I don't.
Know he got a bronze medal. Bronze to me is fucking third
place. Oh, was it bronze?
(35:16):
OK, I. Don't know, I wrote bronze in my
notes. I couldn't.
Be wrong, go ahead. They have a fucking parade.
Who's the pick? Who's the pick that beat Wilbur
fucking Frank over here Fucking put on that?
Win my parade. Put on the best show eaten all
winter I. Got a spot a friend to rub my
ass right now. They're not saying anything. 11
(35:38):
the gold medal, but they fuckinghave a marching band parade for
Wilbur. Wait.
What is the 1st place pig doing?Just sitting in its own shit?
But it's just a really good looking pig you.
Didn't hear him talk. Exactly.
Well, here's the other problem with it.
All of this pomp and circumstance, this motherfucker
(35:58):
wins $25? Yeah.
How much? Was that in 1973 though?
Echo how much was $25 in 1973? Seem like 200 bucks from in.
2013 dollars.com $25 in 1973 is equivalent in purchasing power
to about $181.01 today. So increase.
(36:21):
Of 100. 50 echo dollars and stopso 180 bucks all this for guess
what he. Still made more than what you
just sold on eBay so you could suck a Dick.
Barely. I'm almost caught up to Wilbur.
And give you a bronze medal. Go ahead, I want a parade.
(36:42):
Give me a parade. I deserve a parade.
So that also. That bothered me.
So so so. Much.
So, yeah, so 1000 minutes. So we're getting beyond all
these nitpicky, like in the world things.
There's a lot of things I don't like.
We already talked about the songs.
There's so many, like forgettable.
I I didn't remember this being amusical, honestly.
(37:03):
Like I said, I watched this in school at least two or three
times. And if I'm not mistaken, I think
Charlotte's Web was the first live theatrical performance I
ever saw or done. OK.
I'm sorry, kindergarten or firstgrade, We went to AI think it
was another elementary school, might have been a middle school,
(37:23):
and they put on a performance ofCharlotte's Web and I just, I
vaguely remember it. And then we went back to school
and watched the watch the animated version.
And then we read the book in either second or third grade.
I think it was actually maybe 4th grade.
And then we watched it again, soI got a little excited.
(37:43):
I'm like, OK, at least it's going to be entertaining because
there's music involved. It's not like the web spinning
song that Charlotte sings like takes forever.
It is incredibly tedious. It it's just.
Yeah, that lots in common song has a lot of real terrible
singing in it. Real bad took me out of it.
(38:06):
Yeah, it's, it's it's, it's awful.
And then there's a lot of voice.It's just a very whiny movie,
like Between Fern. 73 on a farm.In Iowa, Nixon was an office.
Come on now. Between Fern and Wilbur, it's
just kind of hard to sit and listen to because they are
(38:28):
protagonists and there's so muchof it that's just kind of
grading at your nerves, you. Don't.
You don't, especially. From an adult perspective,
animated movies didn't care about the adult perspective in
1973. They were specifically made for
the childhood audience. And now, and I can see we're
throwing bones. I get that point They.
Get that point, But it doesn't make it enjoyable for us to
watch. And I really just didn't.
(38:50):
Yeah. I just was not not about it.
Agreed. Did not enjoy it from that
perspective at all. I also didn't like the end of
the movie. So like, and I know that I know
all the like, the storytelling stuff is also, I don't know how
much, you know, creative liberties they took with the
(39:10):
original story of the novel, butthe end of the movie is when
Charlotte pass, Wilbur takes care of these, you know these.
514 eggs bro if I I struggle pushing one child out of my
vagina but. Also, those 514 eggs probably
don't equal Jillian at 8 lbs at at, you know, minutes old if.
(39:31):
I was the size of a spider. I'm sure it would. 21 point
Samantha, what does a spider Hey, Echo, tell me about a
spider's vagina. I'm not quite.
Sure how to. Help you.
Fair, Fair, fair, fair, Tory. I'm losing every team in my life
(39:51):
right now. Yeah, but like, they just leave
and I'm like, man, it's like Wilbur gonna fucking kill
himself. I know.
Right. But then full circle, full
circle, 3 little runs couldn't, couldn't fly away.
So. Like again, the messaging behind
it is fine, yeah, but. But then he had like the
soliloquy to them and I was like, Wilbur.
(40:12):
Wilbur that's way too fucking long, bro.
They're little children, just born.
They they cannot carry your regrets with them.
Wilbur. Come on now, Wilbur.
Needs a fucking therapist. Yeah.
Oh, he has his fucking spiders and stuttering geese.
And Templeton and his babies. Templeton don't give a fuck.
(40:34):
Templeton is maybe the most selfish protagonist in the
history of anything. He's like a borderline.
I honestly remember Templeton being more of an antagonist than
anything. And like, Templeton's not a bad
dude. Temple just like yeah, give me.
The food, he's lazy and he's andhe's motivated by food.
Exactly. He's like, oh, you'll give me
that egg if I do this, OK. Fucking Icon.
(40:56):
Yeah, this movie blows. WWTD.
So so I need your help with one other piece of my note before we
get into performances because everything else I have contacts
for but we did watch this like 11 days ago.
The only thing I've written downI don't understand is quote UN
quote. Fuck that fucking frog.
(41:18):
The frog. I don't know why I'm mad at a
frog. Why are you mad at a frog?
So with your Immaculate notes, if you want to read them to help
me. Oh no, no, no, that's fine.
We don't. At what point?
Early, early. This is in between.
This is literally like after, like right after Wilbur's like
(41:42):
saved from being killed when Fern's like whining and crying
about injustice and you know, saves Wilbur.
So it's early. Let me see.
I'm trying to also look it up aswell.
It's only for the movie. I have no idea.
I don't have any notes about a frog.
(42:05):
Beautiful. Oh, isn't it like, doesn't she
have like like the like not the boyfriend, but like he has like
a frog and like he he ruffles some feathers.
Maybe I don't know, it's unimportant.
What frogs don't have feathers like he like gets loose and like
(42:25):
Wilbur chases after him or something.
I don't know something I can think of.
I I thought it was maybe you hadsomething that was more.
Important No, I haven't noticed about how the pig climbed a
ladder. Like do.
That was it before or after that, Frank?
1st place pig can't climb a ladder.
Uncle was the pig's name. Uncle Pig Uncle.
Pig on 1st place I have. An uncle pig?
(42:50):
Yeah. I don't.
I don't know, man. I don't know what else you want
from here. So let's talk about performances
now. The voice cast in this thing is
wild. It is.
I mean, look Demi Reynolds Angel.
So Debbie Reynolds is one of thetwo people I have.
She's. An Angel.
On my MVP list, she has a caring, soft voice that is
(43:13):
comforting. Perfect.
It is perfect for the character of Charlotte.
I agree it. Is motherly.
It is. Yeah, it is.
Caring. It is welcoming.
Considerate like you get all of that from from the voice.
Absolutely. Paul Lindis Templeton the rat is
the MVP of the movie. If you're looking at it from
what do people remember about this movie?
(43:33):
As proven by the live action movie, it's Templeton song and
his like absolutely flawless gluttonous performance.
Putting Paul Lynn's voice into alecherous rat is a genius
decision. No, notes Paul, Just be Paul
Lind. Yeah, no, I I mean, I agree.
(43:55):
It's the most, it's the most charismatic character, and it
makes you want to root for him like it.
It makes you want to, you know, want things to go right for him.
Look how Sassy is on the box. Look at him.
Hi I. Don't think he sounded like
that. Hi, hold on.
I have to do Paul in. Hold on full speed ahead.
(44:18):
I'm Templeton the rat. There we go.
The better. It's just like, it's just, I'm
sorry. Match Game.
Just slightly homosexual Nick Lathan.
Nick would agree with you. How old was Paul Lind when he
did this movie? How old?
Paul Lind in this movie. 33 No. No 50 something.
(44:41):
No Paul Lind was 47 years old when this movie came out.
So yeah, I mean, that'd be my point.
I mean, Debbie Reynolds is also a correct answer, but they are
the only two people in this movie that totally didn't like
piss me off. Who do you want to go with I?
(45:01):
Agree Poland. Poland as Templeton the Rat, the
MVP of Charlotte. Yeah, but Debbie, Debbie, Debbie
Reynolds, definitely solid performance in it.
And I mean and like. She might, she might pull down.
It should have been MVP nomination.
Yeah, when and when you're like the title character, you know,
you've got a kind of, you've gota kind of have it together.
(45:23):
I think that web spinning song is ultimately what cost her for
me like. Her fault or the writing?
I think she still performed it well.
Performed. It well, but it.
Was just on I. I don't think I think most of
the music in this song in this movie was unnecessary.
Oh sure. Again, like I said, like it.
Didn't need to be amazing. 6570 minute it didn't.
Need to be a movie? This is 94 minutes and it feels
(45:47):
every like a 94 minute movie should not feel every minute of
it and this one does alright. So I'm going to go with Paul in
as the MVP. So we have quite a list for LVP,
but I think like all my LV PS are pretty like minor in the
(46:08):
grand scope of things and LVP has to be Wilbur it.
Has to be. It has to be Henry Gibson for
Wilbur because which I hate. 'Cause I love Henry Gibson.
Oh, same. But you have a responsibility
when you are this pivotal character to deliver on it.
Like you've got to, and especially when it's an animated
(46:33):
movie, you've got to bring that like gravitas through your
voice. And I know we've said it before
with other like voice acting andstuff like that, like it's not
easy, but if it's done correctly, you get behind the
character. Like like I was ready for
Templeton in it more than Wilbur.
(46:55):
And that's not what was supposedto happen.
He is obnoxious. Sure, he has some some pizzazz
to his singing voice, but. Was he even the singing voice?
I think somebody else was the singing voice for Wilbur.
No, it's not credited as such. Pardon me.
(47:17):
So Henry Gibson, I know him as the United appeal for the dead
guy in the Kentucky Fried Movie.He also was the the the priest
and Wedding Crashers and he's been in like so many other
things. So I never put two and two
together though. Like that's who.
This is, yeah. So I have I have plenty of other
(47:38):
people on my list. So I have Ferns Mom.
What a boring bitch. That was just women in the 1970s
bro God. Damn it, I am catching so many
else to you on this podcast. You really are.
She's just or or oomph in her voice whatsoever but you fucking
nailed it. There was a deer that had a
(48:00):
weird ass voice that I also didn't like.
Was it a deer or was it a calf? Because there was a.
Calf that saying so there was a calf that saying, Yep, during
that lots and common song, it was the worst voice.
I wrote that, I said this calf singing voice and lots and
common song is the word more than like two or three lines.
(48:21):
Slam dunk, Absolutely. But yeah, that was terrible.
I don't even know. If I could pinpoint who it was,
I don't even know who was credited as that cast through
the. I don't think it had a.
Specific a specific credit because there's some people that
are just credited as just additional voices.
Yeah. So.
So I don't know if we could evendo it.
If we wanted to, but also if I if it wasn't Wilbur.
(48:45):
Pardon me, that duckling that orthat goosling Jeffrey that
talked like this little mafia. Twerp.
Think about what I just said. A goosling, A Gosling that.
Talked like a. Mafia punk that like befriends
Wilbur and thinks he's a pig himaround and thinks he's a pig
like. Just.
(49:06):
Like, it's so annoying. Yeah, I don't want to hear it.
And that's. Also Don.
Messick, one of the most legendary voice actors ever.
This is the voice of Scooby-doo.Fucking Astro Motley.
Stick to dogs. Hampton.
You know all of it Papa Smurf. But yeah, stick to dogs bro.
(49:30):
Also not an MVP or an LVP but the narrator for this movie is
Rex Allen who is a very very famous.
His own is the the Arizona Cowboy.
He was the narrator of all like the Disney nature documentaries
and whatnot. I could have swore that was the
Motel 6 guy. I'll leave for a minute and
we'll leave the. Light on for you.
(49:52):
So that also just took me out because it wasn't who I thought
it was. So, yeah.
So that all that being said is unfortunately Henry Gibson as as
Wilbur. Yeah.
So that's our MVP and our LVP for Charlotte's Web.
We have to hit me with a dumb question of the week, even
though I've had plenty. Yeah, you, you really have had.
(50:14):
Had plenty. Umm, if, if there was.
One word written in a web to. Describe you?
What would it be? Oh man, what a question.
Oh, probably Hong Kong boy, it just has to be one word, yeah.
Or no, I guess 'cause there was like some.
(50:36):
Pig like it could be, it could be like a short phrase honk boy,
honk, honk boy. Yeah, I think that's.
Appropriate. For me, yeah, probably.
But. It has to be like a family of
spiders. You're so funny. 514 of them
actually not do it yourself. So the other reason why
(50:58):
Charlotte's Web this is I'm I'm gonna supplant my instead of a
rant of the week, because sometimes we have bad movies.
I'm just ranting throughout. We're going to have mullet story
time. No.
Great. Let me take a nap.
You already been sleeping for the past 20 minutes?
No, my eyes have. Been closed.
That's one point for me in college, the way that Samantha I
(51:20):
met, if we haven't referenced itbefore, as we met through if
you've been listening to 500 something episodes.
Of this for however long we've been doing this and don't know
that we met doing it. Improv and sketch comedy.
Go fuck yourself SO. Our probably our favorite show
or one of our favorite shows we ever did was the 5th sketch.
I think it's my favorite. It had like the biggest turn.
(51:43):
Out we have like literally like not even standing room like we
had people like sitting in the aisles it's it's like it's big
Firehouse. It is the most memorable show
we. Ever did?
For so many different reasons. And our act one closer was a
sketch called Frat Boy Charlotte's Web that was
essentially A frat douchebag having a bad time at the party,
(52:05):
going outside and, like, lamenting about his life.
And he gets visited by Charlotteand Wilbur to help him along in
his journey. Charlotte was played by our
friend Norma, who was like, literally 4 foot eight.
Yeah, like, she was a tiny little spider.
She made an Immaculate. Like spider costume for herself.
(52:25):
And she sounded like a sweet little spider.
Beautiful. The pig was prayed by 1 Augie
Artillas, friend of the show, one of our best friends, former
guests. You know, piece.
Of shit, just a fucking. Dirtbag.
And this is him. In 2007.
When he was give me a second 25 years old, we dressed a 25.
(52:51):
Year old Cuban. Man up like Wilbur the pig.
And he made it a roll of a lifetime.
Like if, if they're I'm going to.
Watch it immediately after this if there were.
Oscars. He He could have won one.
He could have. Been in the running if there
were sketch Oscars and there wasa category that said.
Best Cuban portrayal of a pig? Auggie might get nominated
(53:15):
because we just gave him like this.
Like, I've never been a better director in my life than telling
Auggie, Auggie, when you're a pig and you say I have a curly
tail, you got to be so fucking excited.
You have a curly tail. You better shake that goddamn
thing. You better show it off at one
point, like because he's so excited and spoiler, I'm not
going to get into the minutiae of of like the sketch because
(53:37):
it's in two. 1007 and it gets. Dark and it gets offensive.
Yeah. This was like almost 20 years
ago. Yeah.
But the the frat. Boy goes like, in and out of the
scene to, you know, like, followthe advice that Charlotte is
spinning into her web. And then when he comes back,
(53:57):
they're always like looking for updates.
The my two favorite lines in thesketch.
Or are Norma Ishara going hey sour puss, welcome back to Frown
town. You see that all the time And
then? At one point.
Auggie, Sorry Auggie, at one point in the sketch has to has
to. Say you know and I have a curly
(54:19):
tail. Not even referencing this.
What? What are you doing?
Auggie. Like the frat point comes back
in. And like, like the front boy
like summarizes what just happened.
And Wilbur supposed to go did itwork?
And I gave I like you need to say it like you are the most
gregarious, outgoing things to go.
Did it work? And he gets up on his back legs
(54:40):
and like, like does like a pig like almost like the Wilbur
backflip in the movie and like does a full spin.
It's like why he committed 'cause he's just so.
Enthusiastic. No.
I gave him the notes like. You have to be whatever I
remembered about this movie in 2007, I remembered more than
from when I first saw it than what I'm remembering now from us
(55:00):
doing that sketch. It just shows the passage of
time and how our brains deteriorate.
It'll be a sketch that I remember for the rest of my
life. They're gonna be plenty sketches
I don't remember. I will always remember Frat boy,
Charlotte's Web 'cause I think it's better.
I think it's better in this movie.
So I I would agree with you. It's also a lot fucking shorter.
I'll play. That much?
So yeah, that's that's malt story time.
(55:21):
Anything else on Charlotte's Web?
Cool. Fuck you.
Why do? You look at me like that because
that was. Rude as hell.
I love you. Anything else dickhead?
Just kidding. What's?
What I think we, I think we've covered.
All of it What? Are you?
Are you lucky? Goodbye.
Goodbye, goodbye. What was I like?
(55:44):
I was just reading my notes. Oh oh sorry, say it again.
The Spider. Babies when they were flying
away. Goodbye.
Goodbye, goodbye, Goodbye spiderbabies.
Am I locking in my score? Of a 5 of A5, You know what, I
think that, and I don't know if maybe we're just jaded, but no,
(56:07):
I'm going to lower it to 4, to afour and a half, a 4 1/2, yeah.
There really wasn't a lot that Ilike, I know, but I I don't know
if it's just cause like we're. Assholes.
And we're Jade. I'm gonna I'm gonna keep my
score of a four. I think 4.25 yeah, I think this.
Movie. Is the reason why I kept my
(56:29):
score is because I want to lowerit based on my own personal
enjoyment? But this movie is not for me.
So I'm, I'm treating unfairly. I'm I'm treating it unfairly
based on the advancements and entertainment around the the
field of animation over the past50 years and growth of your
brain. Yes.
Yeah. But that being said, boring.
(56:50):
Songs way too long. Of runtime for a kids movie yeah
annoying characters and also like the book is always much
better but like the memories I have of the book it is a really
sweet and a heartfelt story and like in the book when Charlotte
dies like you feel it well that's why I was trying to point
out when I talked about. How I felt it when Leo did it in
(57:13):
that movie, the way that they portrayed it and did it like I
felt that like that. That hit my emotion.
Don't feel it in this. Not at all.
Not at all. It's like.
OK, five point. 25 being on the same level as.
American Hustle is appropriate. So that's our little special
episode. We'll get to Across the Universe
next week, along with hopefully we also.
(57:34):
If it's out of order though, fuck off, we have Dungeons and
Dragons. Coming up, we have gone, baby,
gone. Coming up, we have several of
our streaming service legacy sequel Wrap It Up Movies and we
are on the precipice of episode 550 and we have Halloween.
We got a lot of exciting stuff coming up here in Mirror's
Movies, so stay tuned. Wherever you get your podcast,
(57:54):
stay subscribed. Be on the lookout for some
possible changes or news relatedto that.
Send us an e-mail of Mary with movies@gmail.com.
That's what you think of the show. patreon.com/arcade audio
for bonus content. Facebook and Twitter for Married
with Movies as well. And you can follow me at your
host Malt Trade on Instagram. You can also find me on eBay.
Your host mullet. Check us out.
(58:16):
Buy some of our shit. Yeah, I came with your Sam on
Instagram for me. Not on eBay.
What would you sell on eBay? All your shit, I don't know you.
Love your own shit to sell. Oh.
Smutty books? Great.
Want some slightly used books? More ways than one.
That's disgusting, Chris. Well, my toys are used too.
(58:39):
Even grosser used in the. Same way for Mullet.
This is Mullet signing out for this week's episode of Married
With Movies. We'll catch you next time on our
couch. Slash the movies down the road.
Road, not across the street. I wanted to say it, but I was
like, oh, I. Can't.
It's inappropriate. Thank you for playing arcade
(59:20):
audio. Play more at arcadeaudio.net.
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