April 25, 2015 • 15 mins
"I didn't Brew It" by A.F. Grappin
A potion maker gets visited by the police
Author
A.F. Grappin - afgrappin.com | themeltingpotcast.com | Twitter | Facebook
Cast
D.E. Medus - david.medusmedia.com
"Paying The Tab" by Brian K. Lowe
A hunter and his prey sit down to talk.
Author
Brian K. Lowe - Website | Amazon: "The Invisible City"
Cast
D.E. Medus - david.medusmedia.com
Art
Modified version of "Whiskey Time!" by Kuba Bożanowski on flickr
Music
Into the Unknown by Oddsprite
Special thanks
I would like to thank our producers - Jay Wolf and Andy Holman
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:04):
Hello and welcome to meet as podepisode nine. Well, folks, we
are back. I had to put the showon the back burner for a while
while I trained for a new dayjob. But now that I'm settling
into that, and getting back to asomewhat normal schedule, I got
the podcasting itch again. Plus,I have all these great stories
burning all on my Google Drive.These stories need to be heard.
(00:25):
So let's get to it. Our firststory comes to us from AF
Grabbin AF grap and resides inTennessee but not on purpose. He
spends his days either dealingwith words and stories or
preparing for the zombieapocalypse he doubts will ever
actually come. AF is an avidwearer of shoes, not creating
characters to torture. He is thehost and producer of the melting
(00:46):
podcast or writing variety show.The melting podcast is similar
to meet his pod. And if you likefiction and the craft of
writing, you should check itout. They have sent over a promo
for us to play. Stay tuned afterour second story to hear it.
Links will be in the show notes.I'll be narrating for you
tonight. Without further ado,here's our first story.
(01:13):
I didn't brew it by AF Grabbin.It shouldn't have had bubbles.
That was the main problem. Itwas one of the more cryptic
things that had happened in thelab that day, which was saying
something. So I demonstrated it.Pot and all and defund
(01:39):
straighted to throw out thewindow. Yes, fine. I could have
just said I threw it out thewindow. But no, I'm not just
trying to sound smart. No, I'mnot trying to insult your
intelligence Peacekeeper, I'manswering your first question.
Look, if I'd have known the URLof Steve Austin was passing by,
(02:03):
I wouldn't have thrown it. Butthose bubbles were frightening
me a little. I've never had apotion react that way. I know,
not all potions bubble. That's acommon misconception put out by
the Yes. The people out toobliterate the fantastic. Poof.
(02:24):
They call themselves which issilly. If you asked me if they
want to destroy sorcerers theyshouldn't emulate us by using
that silly acronym. Nopeacekeeper. I didn't. It was
four measures of black assault,not 14 Whoever took that
statement must have misheard me.Yes. Well, sometimes but no, I
(02:51):
hadn't realized, though. Come tothink of it. I had heard the
Earl of ski Euston was afounding member. Is he the one
who was offering rewards for thesorcerer's heads on pikes peak?
Ah, well, that makes sense. LikeI told the other man before I
panic, I had already thrown thebubbling concoction out the
(03:12):
window and gone back toreattempt the brewing when I
heard the scream. By the time Iheard it, I already had the new
mini cauldron in my hands andwe're starting the process over
again. The peppermint oil andGriffin skin flakes had just
begun to warm up. I had to stirit constantly, you see, and I
thought that might have beenwhere I entered and the first
(03:33):
batch. So when I heard thescream I went to look but I kept
the cauldron with me so I couldstir while I looked. And when I
reached the window to look downand see what the cause of the
commotion was, I slipped and thenew cauldron tumbled out of my
hands. The Earl hadn't movedfrom beneath the window and in
fact he was looking up when thenew concoction hit him spilled
(03:55):
everywhere from what I couldsee. Yes, I know Griffon skin
flakes are highly corrosive. Ihadn't realized that eat through
such thick wool that quicklythough. In seconds I noticed the
URL was naked, his clothes eatencompletely away. And right as
the Queen's entourage passed byto horrible timing. Lucky for
(04:20):
him one of the soldier escortsoffered his cloak to cover the
URL. I couldn't hear what theysaid. But the URLs face was
awfully read by them. No, I hadno idea who was allergic to
peppermint. Oh, so he is deadthan not from allergies I trust
(04:44):
I'm sure I can't think of whyelse you would be here
questioning me. I thought youwere a customer when you came
knocking. Sure there's thethreat of poof putting me out of
a job but I don't hold a grudgeagainst the Earl himself. Not
really. He's a bit of a Rutanbut he's always been civil to
me. I just don't do magic whilehe's around. Ah, so it wasn't
(05:08):
allergies. Spontaneouscombustion, you don't say. And
the court physician says it wasbecause of some mystical
chemical reaction. Did he saywhat he thought it might have
been? Really? Salt and toadstooltears. I heard they produced a
(05:30):
violent reaction, but I had noidea. Well, perhaps I did have a
little bit of an idea. AlthoughI've heard black salt makes more
fire while green salt is moresmoky. Of course, I have a
supply of toadstool tears. I'mnot an amateur. And before you
ask no, the potion didn't havetoadstool tears in it. But it
(05:52):
would take at least fivemeasures of black salt to create
an explosion like that. My firstpotion only had four. No, I
already told you the firstPeacekeeper misheard me there
weren't 14 measures of blacksalt in it. Only four.
And I don't think he wrote downthe last thing I did either. He
(06:14):
didn't seem particularly giftedin the mental area. I was
shocked. He was able to write itall honestly. Fine, fine. Yes. I
suppose the fact he was coveredand my black salt could have led
to the combustion end. And yes,it was my peppermint oil that
caused the allergic reaction.But do you really think I threw
(06:36):
that third cauldron of toadstooltears on him on purpose? Yes.
Oh, and do you think I tossed anextra measure of black salt into
that cauldron on purpose do Isee? Okay, then. Yes, I'll go
(06:57):
quietly.
Our next story paying the tabwhich originally appeared in
daily science fiction in July2011 comes to us from a fan
favorite Brian K. Lo. Youremember Brian from episode five
of me this pot when we aired afull cast production of his
story dead guy walking. Brianhas had published stories and
(07:21):
Orson Scott Card's intergalacticmedicine show, daily science
fiction, Buzzy mag and more.Check out his work The Invisible
city, a swashbuckling adventureof Earth's distant future,
available now on amazon.com andother major platforms. He blogs
at Brian K low.wordpress.com.The links in the show notes.
(07:41):
I'll also be narrating thistale. Here's our second story
paying the tab by Brian K Lo. Iguess it's true than Santos. All
things come to he who waits. Isniffed and wrapped a claw like
(08:05):
hand around my glass and took ahealthy sip. It burned going
down and I inhaled and surprise.But they didn't say I'd have to
wait this long. I replied. I'vebeen trying to kill you for
almost 45 years. I was havingtrouble catching my breath
better than you're used to? Heasked, ignoring my comment.
(08:26):
There was a sense of affectionand irony in his question, but I
suppose he could afford it.You're not drinking. His glass
was still full. His drink wasblue over yellow with a little
umbrella in it. Most guys willbe too self conscious to order
it but apparently not Bernard.it jives with what I knew of
him. He toyed with the glass. Iwas just remembering. We've had
(08:48):
a lot of good times. A lot ofadventures. Only the fact my
fingers could barely grip keptme from smashing the glass in my
hand. You probably remember thembetter than I do. I said in a
controlled tone. 45 years mightas well be 45 months to you.
Bernard nodded. True. I wasrunning circles around hunters
when you were a baby in yourmother's arms. Look at us now.
(09:11):
You're an old man whose fingerscan't even hold a gun and I have
an age today. I glanced sidewaysat him speculating what? What's
on your mind? I thought I mightas well ask him. I wasn't going
to get another chance. I had noillusions that he wasn't going
to kill me before that was over.Is it worth it? The wolf bite
(09:32):
the curse. The turning into abeast every month. I turned to
face him at on. The bartenderwho looked near retirement age
himself refilled my drinkautomatically while distancing
himself with professionalindifference. Is mortality worth
all the people you've killed?Rather than answer he drained
his drink and signal foranother. I was already fuzzy
(09:55):
around the edges but he could goat it until closing time and
feel nothing. He was silent. Fora long time until his new drink
was sat down in front of him,it's what I do. It's not like I
have a choice. They call it acurse for a reason. I snorted.
Don't give me that. Don'tbullshit an old man. You love
the chase. It's all a game doyou used to hang around the same
(10:18):
town until somebody like me camelooking for you? Then you either
leave your kill where we couldfind it or line wait for us. You
can blame the curves for whatyou did on a full moon, but not
for all the others. Bernardshrugged. We are what we are
about you. You and I have beendancing around each other for
almost half a century. But thisis the first time we've ever
(10:41):
laid eyes on each other, letalone tucked. Where are you in
this business? My wife waskilled by werewolf in San
Francisco in 1962. It wassurprising how easily the words
came now. I lived in SanFrancisco in 1962. The way he
said it, you might almostbelieve he thought it was a
coincidence. So why did you putout the word meet me here old
(11:04):
man. You know how dangerous itis? My drink was gone. I raised
my hand to signal the bartender.He looked our way. alertly but
then I dropped my hand and shookmy head. I think two is enough.
Yeah, that should do. I squintedat him but let it go. It didn't
matter. I wasn't even sure you'dcome. I wanted to ask you a
(11:27):
favor. I'm done. I'm finishedhaunting. I wanted to tell you
that and asked you to leave mealone. I'm retiring. Yuen.
Bernard put his hand on myshoulder. Well, then, Son, your
luck, because I've already doneyou a favor. I stopped in here
earlier and persuaded ourbartender to here to spike her
(11:47):
drinks. In about five minutes.You're gonna be too dizzy to
stand up. By the time we get tothe car. You'll be out on your
feet. And by the time I cut yourthroat and leave you in the
woods, you won't feel a thing.Already he was helping keep me
up right? Don't worry. I'llcover your drinks. You can pay
me back later. I tried to keepmy eyes focus as the bartender
(12:11):
swam into view. Here you go.Bernard said to him handing over
a bill Keep the change. Lookingat him. Bernard did not notice
my face as I caught the eye ofthe bartender. The man who had
recruited me days ago to play mypart. The man who had laced
Bernards fruity drinks thesilver salts, the man whose name
(12:32):
unlike mine really was Santos.My tongue was too thick to
speak. Too bad. Although I'dlied about being Santos, I
hadn't lied about my wife. Iwanted to tell the bastard I had
already paid him back everythingthat was owed.
(12:54):
I'd like to thank our seniorproducer Jay Wolf and producer
Andy Holman for their continuedsupport. If you'd like to
support the show, monetarily,please visit meters
pod.com/donation We have amonthly support option as well
as one offs. We also acceptBitcoin. Here's the promo for
the melting podcast.
Correct. To plot points into alarge mixing bowl, add one cup
(13:19):
oil of protagonist. Add a fewdrops of dialogue. Sift in three
tablespoons of antagonists,mints a few action scenes and
make sure fully incorporated.Sprinkle liberally with minor
characters. Stir vigorously,drizzle in warm buttery calm or
(13:40):
into a nine by 13. Notebook.Fake at 325 degrees. Done.
writings as easy as cooking,right? Yeah, right. Writing is
not easy, and you need a break.But if you're taking a break,
and you're not up for cookingeither. Come hang out in the
disaster kitchen of the meltingpodcast, the melting podcast, a
(14:02):
writing variety show featuring alittle of everything from
everyone everywhere. microstories, interviews, flash
fiction stories back to backbased on the same writing
prompt. And most importantly,bad food puns. Because food
makes everything better right?Come Dine at the melting
podcast.com Right
(14:33):
the music comes to us courtesyof odd Sprite. You can check out
their work at odd sprite.commidis pod is released under a
Creative Commons Attribution noncommercial no derivatives
license. That means you canshare it all you like just don't
change it or sell it. We'll seeyou next time folks.
Hello and welcome to meet as podepisode nine. Well, folks, we
are back. I had to put the showon the back burner for a while
while I trained for a new dayjob. But now that I'm settling
into that, and getting back to asomewhat normal schedule, I got
the podcasting itch again. Plus,I have all these great stories
burning all on my Google Drive.These stories need to be heard.
(00:25):
So let's get to it. Our firststory comes to us from AF
Grabbin AF grap and resides inTennessee but not on purpose. He
spends his days either dealingwith words and stories or
preparing for the zombieapocalypse he doubts will ever
actually come. AF is an avidwearer of shoes, not creating
characters to torture. He is thehost and producer of the melting
(00:46):
podcast or writing variety show.The melting podcast is similar
to meet his pod. And if you likefiction and the craft of
writing, you should check itout. They have sent over a promo
for us to play. Stay tuned afterour second story to hear it.
Links will be in the show notes.I'll be narrating for you
tonight. Without further ado,here's our first story.
(01:13):
I didn't brew it by AF Grabbin.It shouldn't have had bubbles.
That was the main problem. Itwas one of the more cryptic
things that had happened in thelab that day, which was saying
something. So I demonstrated it.Pot and all and defund
(01:39):
straighted to throw out thewindow. Yes, fine. I could have
just said I threw it out thewindow. But no, I'm not just
trying to sound smart. No, I'mnot trying to insult your
intelligence Peacekeeper, I'manswering your first question.
Look, if I'd have known the URLof Steve Austin was passing by,
(02:03):
I wouldn't have thrown it. Butthose bubbles were frightening
me a little. I've never had apotion react that way. I know,
not all potions bubble. That's acommon misconception put out by
the Yes. The people out toobliterate the fantastic. Poof.
(02:24):
They call themselves which issilly. If you asked me if they
want to destroy sorcerers theyshouldn't emulate us by using
that silly acronym. Nopeacekeeper. I didn't. It was
four measures of black assault,not 14 Whoever took that
statement must have misheard me.Yes. Well, sometimes but no, I
(02:51):
hadn't realized, though. Come tothink of it. I had heard the
Earl of ski Euston was afounding member. Is he the one
who was offering rewards for thesorcerer's heads on pikes peak?
Ah, well, that makes sense. LikeI told the other man before I
panic, I had already thrown thebubbling concoction out the
(03:12):
window and gone back toreattempt the brewing when I
heard the scream. By the time Iheard it, I already had the new
mini cauldron in my hands andwe're starting the process over
again. The peppermint oil andGriffin skin flakes had just
begun to warm up. I had to stirit constantly, you see, and I
thought that might have beenwhere I entered and the first
(03:33):
batch. So when I heard thescream I went to look but I kept
the cauldron with me so I couldstir while I looked. And when I
reached the window to look downand see what the cause of the
commotion was, I slipped and thenew cauldron tumbled out of my
hands. The Earl hadn't movedfrom beneath the window and in
fact he was looking up when thenew concoction hit him spilled
(03:55):
everywhere from what I couldsee. Yes, I know Griffon skin
flakes are highly corrosive. Ihadn't realized that eat through
such thick wool that quicklythough. In seconds I noticed the
URL was naked, his clothes eatencompletely away. And right as
the Queen's entourage passed byto horrible timing. Lucky for
(04:20):
him one of the soldier escortsoffered his cloak to cover the
URL. I couldn't hear what theysaid. But the URLs face was
awfully read by them. No, I hadno idea who was allergic to
peppermint. Oh, so he is deadthan not from allergies I trust
(04:44):
I'm sure I can't think of whyelse you would be here
questioning me. I thought youwere a customer when you came
knocking. Sure there's thethreat of poof putting me out of
a job but I don't hold a grudgeagainst the Earl himself. Not
really. He's a bit of a Rutanbut he's always been civil to
me. I just don't do magic whilehe's around. Ah, so it wasn't
(05:08):
allergies. Spontaneouscombustion, you don't say. And
the court physician says it wasbecause of some mystical
chemical reaction. Did he saywhat he thought it might have
been? Really? Salt and toadstooltears. I heard they produced a
(05:30):
violent reaction, but I had noidea. Well, perhaps I did have a
little bit of an idea. AlthoughI've heard black salt makes more
fire while green salt is moresmoky. Of course, I have a
supply of toadstool tears. I'mnot an amateur. And before you
ask no, the potion didn't havetoadstool tears in it. But it
(05:52):
would take at least fivemeasures of black salt to create
an explosion like that. My firstpotion only had four. No, I
already told you the firstPeacekeeper misheard me there
weren't 14 measures of blacksalt in it. Only four.
And I don't think he wrote downthe last thing I did either. He
(06:14):
didn't seem particularly giftedin the mental area. I was
shocked. He was able to write itall honestly. Fine, fine. Yes. I
suppose the fact he was coveredand my black salt could have led
to the combustion end. And yes,it was my peppermint oil that
caused the allergic reaction.But do you really think I threw
(06:36):
that third cauldron of toadstooltears on him on purpose? Yes.
Oh, and do you think I tossed anextra measure of black salt into
that cauldron on purpose do Isee? Okay, then. Yes, I'll go
(06:57):
quietly.
Our next story paying the tabwhich originally appeared in
daily science fiction in July2011 comes to us from a fan
favorite Brian K. Lo. Youremember Brian from episode five
of me this pot when we aired afull cast production of his
story dead guy walking. Brianhas had published stories and
(07:21):
Orson Scott Card's intergalacticmedicine show, daily science
fiction, Buzzy mag and more.Check out his work The Invisible
city, a swashbuckling adventureof Earth's distant future,
available now on amazon.com andother major platforms. He blogs
at Brian K low.wordpress.com.The links in the show notes.
(07:41):
I'll also be narrating thistale. Here's our second story
paying the tab by Brian K Lo. Iguess it's true than Santos. All
things come to he who waits. Isniffed and wrapped a claw like
(08:05):
hand around my glass and took ahealthy sip. It burned going
down and I inhaled and surprise.But they didn't say I'd have to
wait this long. I replied. I'vebeen trying to kill you for
almost 45 years. I was havingtrouble catching my breath
better than you're used to? Heasked, ignoring my comment.
(08:26):
There was a sense of affectionand irony in his question, but I
suppose he could afford it.You're not drinking. His glass
was still full. His drink wasblue over yellow with a little
umbrella in it. Most guys willbe too self conscious to order
it but apparently not Bernard.it jives with what I knew of
him. He toyed with the glass. Iwas just remembering. We've had
(08:48):
a lot of good times. A lot ofadventures. Only the fact my
fingers could barely grip keptme from smashing the glass in my
hand. You probably remember thembetter than I do. I said in a
controlled tone. 45 years mightas well be 45 months to you.
Bernard nodded. True. I wasrunning circles around hunters
when you were a baby in yourmother's arms. Look at us now.
(09:11):
You're an old man whose fingerscan't even hold a gun and I have
an age today. I glanced sidewaysat him speculating what? What's
on your mind? I thought I mightas well ask him. I wasn't going
to get another chance. I had noillusions that he wasn't going
to kill me before that was over.Is it worth it? The wolf bite
(09:32):
the curse. The turning into abeast every month. I turned to
face him at on. The bartenderwho looked near retirement age
himself refilled my drinkautomatically while distancing
himself with professionalindifference. Is mortality worth
all the people you've killed?Rather than answer he drained
his drink and signal foranother. I was already fuzzy
(09:55):
around the edges but he could goat it until closing time and
feel nothing. He was silent. Fora long time until his new drink
was sat down in front of him,it's what I do. It's not like I
have a choice. They call it acurse for a reason. I snorted.
Don't give me that. Don'tbullshit an old man. You love
the chase. It's all a game doyou used to hang around the same
(10:18):
town until somebody like me camelooking for you? Then you either
leave your kill where we couldfind it or line wait for us. You
can blame the curves for whatyou did on a full moon, but not
for all the others. Bernardshrugged. We are what we are
about you. You and I have beendancing around each other for
almost half a century. But thisis the first time we've ever
(10:41):
laid eyes on each other, letalone tucked. Where are you in
this business? My wife waskilled by werewolf in San
Francisco in 1962. It wassurprising how easily the words
came now. I lived in SanFrancisco in 1962. The way he
said it, you might almostbelieve he thought it was a
coincidence. So why did you putout the word meet me here old
(11:04):
man. You know how dangerous itis? My drink was gone. I raised
my hand to signal the bartender.He looked our way. alertly but
then I dropped my hand and shookmy head. I think two is enough.
Yeah, that should do. I squintedat him but let it go. It didn't
matter. I wasn't even sure you'dcome. I wanted to ask you a
(11:27):
favor. I'm done. I'm finishedhaunting. I wanted to tell you
that and asked you to leave mealone. I'm retiring. Yuen.
Bernard put his hand on myshoulder. Well, then, Son, your
luck, because I've already doneyou a favor. I stopped in here
earlier and persuaded ourbartender to here to spike her
(11:47):
drinks. In about five minutes.You're gonna be too dizzy to
stand up. By the time we get tothe car. You'll be out on your
feet. And by the time I cut yourthroat and leave you in the
woods, you won't feel a thing.Already he was helping keep me
up right? Don't worry. I'llcover your drinks. You can pay
me back later. I tried to keepmy eyes focus as the bartender
(12:11):
swam into view. Here you go.Bernard said to him handing over
a bill Keep the change. Lookingat him. Bernard did not notice
my face as I caught the eye ofthe bartender. The man who had
recruited me days ago to play mypart. The man who had laced
Bernards fruity drinks thesilver salts, the man whose name
(12:32):
unlike mine really was Santos.My tongue was too thick to
speak. Too bad. Although I'dlied about being Santos, I
hadn't lied about my wife. Iwanted to tell the bastard I had
already paid him back everythingthat was owed.
(12:54):
I'd like to thank our seniorproducer Jay Wolf and producer
Andy Holman for their continuedsupport. If you'd like to
support the show, monetarily,please visit meters
pod.com/donation We have amonthly support option as well
as one offs. We also acceptBitcoin. Here's the promo for
the melting podcast.
Correct. To plot points into alarge mixing bowl, add one cup
(13:19):
oil of protagonist. Add a fewdrops of dialogue. Sift in three
tablespoons of antagonists,mints a few action scenes and
make sure fully incorporated.Sprinkle liberally with minor
characters. Stir vigorously,drizzle in warm buttery calm or
(13:40):
into a nine by 13. Notebook.Fake at 325 degrees. Done.
writings as easy as cooking,right? Yeah, right. Writing is
not easy, and you need a break.But if you're taking a break,
and you're not up for cookingeither. Come hang out in the
disaster kitchen of the meltingpodcast, the melting podcast, a
(14:02):
writing variety show featuring alittle of everything from
everyone everywhere. microstories, interviews, flash
fiction stories back to backbased on the same writing
prompt. And most importantly,bad food puns. Because food
makes everything better right?Come Dine at the melting
podcast.com Right
(14:33):
the music comes to us courtesyof odd Sprite. You can check out
their work at odd sprite.commidis pod is released under a
Creative Commons Attribution noncommercial no derivatives
license. That means you canshare it all you like just don't
change it or sell it. We'll seeyou next time folks.
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