May 4, 2025 • 46 mins
What does God really think about beauty? Far from the awkward silence many expect from the church on this topic, the Bible speaks candidly and powerfully about physical attraction, self-image, and how we view one another.
In this exploration of Song of Solomon, we discover a woman who feels insufficient despite receiving lavish praise from her beloved. "I am dark but lovely," she confesses – acknowledging both her beauty and what she perceives as imperfection. This duality mirrors our spiritual condition: simultaneously bearing God's image yet marked by brokenness. When she compares herself to common wildflowers, her beloved counters with stunning affirmation: "As a lily among brambles, so is my love among young women." He doesn't just see her beauty; he celebrates what makes her exceptional.
This ancient text reveals a profound truth for modern relationships: there's a significant difference between lying and choosing to see the best in someone. The couple engages in a beautiful exchange of affirmation that creates a sanctuary of love – where their native language becomes mutual encouragement, blessing and praise. Their garden rendezvous deliberately echoes Eden, reminding us of what love looked like before sin distorted it – when we could share ourselves without shame and build each other up rather than tear each other down.
Our beauty-obsessed culture could learn much from Solomon's perspective: physical beauty is a gift to enjoy and cultivate, but never a god to worship. Love may delight in the body, but it must be anchored in the soul. As we battle against aging (a fight where "time is undefeated"), remember that what truly matters is the growth of character, the wisdom that comes with years, and the beauty that outlasts physical appeal.
Join us in discovering how Scripture offers a refreshingly balanced approach that neither idolizes physical attractiveness nor dismisses its significance – showing us instead how to receive beauty as a gift, ground it in covenant love, and surrender it to the glory of God.
If you want to learn more about the MidTree story or connect with us, go to our website HERE or text us at 812-MID-TREE.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Good morning church.
We're going to be reading fromSong of Solomon, chapter 2,
verses 1 through 7, which is onpage 560 in the Pew Bibles.
So I'll give you a coupleseconds to turn there.
I am a rose of Sharon, a lilyof the valleys, as a lily among
(00:27):
brambles, so is my love amongthe young women.
As an apple tree among thetrees of the forest, so is my
beloved among the young men.
With great delight I sat in hisshadow and his fruit was sweet
to my taste.
He brought me into thebanqueting house and his banner
over me was love.
Sustain me with raisins,refresh me with apples, for I am
(00:51):
sick with love.
His left hand is under my headand his right hand embraces me.
I adjure you, o daughters ofJerusalem, by the gazelles or
the does of the field, that younot stir up or awaken love until
it pleases.
This is the word of the Lord.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Thanks, landry, much appreciated.
In case you're curious, we havebegun about a seven-week study
on the Song of Solomon, so thereadings will get progressively
more provocative as we dig in.
Also wanted to let you guysknow a couple of things.
We had a number of people sayhey, will, are we going to do
(01:32):
the Bible journals while we'rewalking through the Song of
Solomon?
We did grab some Some of youalready noticed that and grabbed
them off the table on your wayout.
If you want to grab one so thatyou can have notes as we work
through this book together,please feel free to do so.
Hey, adam, question for you.
I worked at Camp Joy for abouteight years.
In fact, over half of our staffat the church full-time staff
(01:57):
worked at Camp Joy and we wouldcome up to the crossroads.
Back then it was a farm.
Do you remember those days?
Were you around?
Okay, so we would come up tothe farm and they had pigs and
they had an emu farm at oneperiod.
But here's my big question Doyou guys do anything with
bicycles anymore?
You have no clue what I'mtalking about.
(02:19):
So, the crossroads guys, backin the day when I was down the
hill at Camp Joy, one of theministries was they would work
on bicycles that would then goback to Valley Rescue Mission to
provide bikes that actuallyworked for the kids who came in
the shop to get them, and wewould go every summer at the
beginning of camp and we got topick out our bike that we got to
ride around camp.
I love you guys.
(02:40):
I'm so pumped to have you.
We'd love to maybe have youguys come back and share a
testimony or two with us oneSunday.
Thank you guys for being here.
Also, impactors I know we havefewer in first service than
second.
I'm gonna miss you guys.
This is last Sunday, right LastSunday.
We're at second service.
I know that most of y'all comesecond service, so we're praying
you guys off second service.
But since you may not be here,just wanted to tell you, love
(03:07):
you so, excited for whatever Godhas next for you and grateful
for your time with us.
All.
Right, here we go.
Song of Songs is where we are.
Song of Solomon same book, twodifferent titles.
Let me give you a couple ofheads ups.
Number one men in the room,boys in the room, women I'm not
quite as worried about you onthis one.
Next week is Mother's Day.
This is your heads up.
This is your kind, shepherdly,pastoral warning that Amazon
(03:30):
two-day delivery is still inyour favor.
I cannot make this announcementto you in three days.
That is my little gift to youthis Sunday.
Now, as we jump into the booktalking about love, here's what
we did last week.
As we started the book, in theevent that you're parachuting in
with us, the first thing weasked is does this book belong
in the Bible?
When Landry is reading versesix, I think, which is my
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favorite of the section we'regoing to look at today, and it
says his hand is behind my, hisleft hand.
I love the specificity there.
He's probably a righty.
His left hand is behind my neck, his right hand embraces me.
The concept here is love issomething created by God to be
cherished by God.
But, as with every good giftthat God gives us, we love
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taking good things and makingthem God things, and so the
slide that we ended with lastweek was this In scripture,
romantic love consists ofchemistry, yes, character, of
course, and community.
But the slide I ran out of timeand I didn't get to show you
last week was this one.
I know it's a little bit small,sorry to the folks in the back.
(04:40):
These are all of the themeswe're going to look at over the
next six weeks.
I'm not going to read them allout to you.
I also am wise enough not toput folks in the back.
These are all of the themeswe're going to look at over the
next six weeks.
I'm not going to read them allout to you.
I also am wise enough not toput them in order, because some
of you will pick your favoritesand skip church on the ones that
you don't necessarily like.
So in no particular order.
That being said, this Sundaywhat we are going to be looking
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at is, according to Scripture,what is beauty?
And can I just give you alittle bit of what I would call
a squirm warning?
All right, none of the verseswe are going to look at today
move heavy into PG-13.
It's God's book.
None of it's R-rated, none ofit's restricted to anybody who
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comes to it rightly, but we'renot even going to move into a
heavy PG-13.
However, middle schoolers inthe room, there might be a
little squirming at one or twoparts.
High schoolers in the roomthey've evolved beyond squirming
, but there may be some sideglances to try to find their
friends in the sanctuary.
So I'm just giving you thatheads up if your kids are with
(05:46):
you.
Here is where we find ourselvesNow.
Thus far in the book, we'reonly four verses.
In starting, in verse five, theyoung man has yet to speak.
You've only heard from thewoman so far in the song of
Solomon.
You're going to hear from himfor the first time today and I
will tell you.
Men, you need to hear what thisguy has to say, and more than
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what he has to say, you need tolisten to what the purpose of
his words are when he uses them.
But here's how the song begins.
Verses 1 through 4 are hersaying Let him kiss me with the
kisses of his mouth.
His love is better than Hisname.
Is oil poured out?
She is lavishing on this guyincredible amounts of beauty and
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encouragement and affirmation.
And then she looks in themirror and here's what she would
say of herself I'm very darkbut lovely.
Oh, daughters of Jerusalem,like the tents of Kadar, like
the curtains of Solomon, do notgaze at me because I am dark.
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She looks at him and gives himall of this praise, and then she
looks in the mirror and all ofa sudden feels insufficient.
I don't care how young you arein the room.
I don't care how beautiful youare in the room.
I don't care how beautiful youare in the room.
Every one of us has looked inthe mirror at one time or
another and gone, and the olderyou get, the more frequent that
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happens.
Okay, that's just one of therealities of beauty, and as we
talk about beauty today, I wantyou to understand something.
I'm not going to give you thepastor shuffle where I say
everything is inner beauty.
God's word has no troubletalking about things that might
be uncomfortable.
It has no problem in Genesis,talking about the differences in
Leah and Rachel and how one ofthem had a higher beauty
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quotient than the other did.
But the Bible also meets us inthese moments when we look in
the mirror and we don't likewhat we see, and it is something
profound to say to us.
She looks at herself and herculture was a little different
than ours.
She's got a killer tan is whatthis says.
The reason we know that isbecause of how she got here.
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Don't gaze at me because I amdark.
I look.
My skin is like the tents thatlitter the area, weather worn
and sun washed.
Why?
Because the sun has looked uponme.
My mother's sons were angrywith me.
They made me keeper of thevineyards, but my own vineyard I
(08:21):
haven't kept.
This story is less like Estherand more like Cinderella.
Esther, we read about, spends12 months trying to make herself
beautiful for the man that sheis trying to court here.
This is not what we find.
What we find is more of aCinderella story.
There's a quote from DouglasO'Donnell.
She has a working classcomplexion and her hair is
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undone and her attire isunattractive.
She's been on her feet all daypruning vines or picking grapes,
shooing away sneaky foxes thatwould come into the vineyard,
and when she gets off her shiftshe calls it a day.
No time for a manicure andpedicure and certainly no time
to powder her sunburned cheeks.
A manicure and pedicure andcertainly no time to powder her
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sunburned cheeks.
That is what she thinks of herown body and the way that she
got here.
You can see in the little areathat I've boxed, these are not
what she refers to as herbrothers, but her mother's sons.
For whatever reason, she is ina family environment where she
has half brothers who seem toresent her.
Cinderella had step sisters inthe tale that we have all heard.
(09:32):
But here she is, in a familythat has probably had some
difficulty in it to lead here,and her brothers have looked at
her with some kind of rejection.
We don't know why the Bibledoesn't tell us why.
All we know is she feels likelife hasn't been fair to her,
that she wants to give to thisman the best that she can when
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it comes to the beauty she canoffer, but she feels like the
world is working against her.
She says they made me keeper ofthe vineyards.
I didn't want this job.
It was foist upon me.
This was not a choice.
The responsibilities that layin my hands and at my feet
prevent me from being andpresenting myself the way that I
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want to.
There's no getting around it.
The world has tainted herbeauty and it's also tainted her
understanding of it.
But tucked into this is not justthe Bible being realistic about
physical beauty and ourperceptions of it.
Tucked into this is thisbeautiful little nugget of
(10:38):
theology, because every one ofus on the spiritual side are
simultaneously dark and lovely,is what scripture would tell us.
We are far too darkened by sin,but we are lovely by design.
A couple of you guys said Will,why are you wearing a suit
today?
What happened?
First of all, whenever you tellme that, you tell me what
(11:01):
Sundays you miss, I'm wearing.
I put on my jacket because thisis Communion Sunday and I tend
to dress it up a little bit morefor Communion Sunday.
I point to that at this point inour service because, when we
end, all of you who are membersof the family of faith you don't
have to be a member of midtree,but you need to be a believer
(11:24):
All of you are going to beinvited to come down to a table
that you don't deserve to sit at, that was prepared for you by
another.
And when you come, you're goingto come with two things You're
going to come with darkness andyou're going to come with
loveliness.
This is one of the mostfascinating realities of humans
compared to everything else inall creation.
You are darkened by the worldthat you live in, the sin within
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you and the sin without theworld that wants to wear you
down.
You are constantly beingattacked by the outside and by
the inside, and every now andthen, when we're honest with
ourselves, we look down and werealize I'm not anywhere near as
(12:07):
beautiful as what God hascalled me to be, not beautiful
in my thoughts, in my words, inmy actions.
And yet God never stops callingyou lovely.
You are, in all creation, theonly thing created in the image
of the one who created allthings you.
Nothing else stands out as theimago Dei, the image of God.
(12:27):
So, yes, we're gonna talk aboutphysical beauty, but please
grab this, consider this,prepare your hearts for
communion with this.
We humans are unique and at ourbest, we are the only thing made
in the image of our creator.
At our best, we are the onlything made in the image of our
creator.
At our worst, we are the onlyones who keep turning away from
our creator after he has offeredus glorious grace.
(12:49):
We seem to be simultaneouslymore glorious than the angels
and filled with more garbagethan the demons.
And if that causes you tostutter and say, well, that
can't be possible, can I justsubmit to garbage than the
demons.
And if that causes you tostutter and say, well, that
can't be possible, can I justsubmit to you that the demons
were never given a second chance, and we are.
And even after being given asecond chance, we turn to sin
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and we turn to sin and we turnto sin and we turn to sin.
Dark but lovely, yes, and mayall of us find ourselves at a
table we didn't deserve to be atbut for our purposes in this
moment, just understand thatthis young lady wants to have a
right understanding of herbeauty.
She has an accurate image ofself.
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The world's done a number on me, but there is something
intrinsically beautiful about meand it would be wise for us to
do the same.
I'm going to take you back intime a little bit to enjoy this
reality with me.
If, when I was in my young 20s,I'm guessing I was probably
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married here, 25.
If I was at a party and Iwanted to court an available
young female and John playingthe drums here in rock band and
Stokes, of course, lead vocalsin rock band on the PlayStation
2, if we were all at a party,where's Stokes?
(14:16):
Where is he?
Is he in the green room?
Has he done his job and left?
Okay, all right, that's fine.
Right, that's fine, whatever,all right, hey, dude, I love you
so much.
One of my highlights of thismorning was knowing that you're
gonna have to look at you for aminute and I'm just gonna let it
linger.
If the three of us showed up toa party and we were interested
in a young lady and the younglady was interested in somebody
(14:38):
who was tall, I can tell you whoshe is going to notice of the
three of us.
If the young lady is interestedin somebody with musical talent
, I can tell you who she isgoing to be interested in.
If she wanted somebody who waswise and intelligent, gentle,
yet strong.
Whatever, I think it'simportant for us to have an
(15:02):
accurate self-image, and Iwouldn't even say that an
accurate image of ourselves,because God has made no mistakes
in the way he made you.
Your height is not a mistake.
Beauty is something to becultivated, absolutely.
But what we're going to find isour culture tends to swing
really far one way or really farto the other, and there is this
Godward tension and the Bibledoesn't mind discussing it.
(15:24):
Stokes I'll take it off for youwhen she continues thinking
about herself.
This, by the way, is after theyoung man has had a moment to
affirm her.
She comes around a little bit.
In chapter two, verse one, shesays okay, okay, there are
broken things in me, but thereis intrinsic beauty.
So I'm willing to say this I'ma rose of Sharon.
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This would have been a brightred rose, a lily of the valleys.
Now, this is perfect timing forus.
When she says I'm a lily of thevalleys, we think, oh, that's
beautiful.
And it is.
She's saying I am beautiful, Iam created beautiful.
Yes, but here's what she doeswith her beauty.
She says I'm a lily like anyother lily in the valley
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Beautiful, yes, but when youcompare me to the people around
me, I am just some girl.
There's nothing particularlyimpressive about me.
I'm not really desirable enough, even though there is beauty in
me.
As you guys go home today, Iwould invite you to look in the
middle of the highway as you go.
It's the best time of year tolook at.
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Song of Songs, chapter two,verse one.
Why?
Because wildflowers arespringing up between the two
highways.
We don't have mountains inColumbus, georgia and Harris
County.
You go up a little bit, you'llfind one, but there are no
valleys between the two.
And what this young lady issaying is you know what?
I'm pretty?
I'm pretty like a flower.
And then here is the very nextverse.
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The man hears what she says andhe says no, no, as a lily among
brambles.
So is my love among the youngwomen.
Is she more beautiful than them?
I don't know, but I will tellyou this.
He thinks so.
He looks at her and he saysdon't you for a minute diminish
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yourself.
When I see you, I see a lilythat is surrounded by brambles.
So is my love among the youngwomen, men?
This is where I want you to payattention.
He is looking for opportunitiesto encourage and affirm her,
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and you could say but Will, likewhat if she isn't Like what if
she isn't as special?
There's a difference betweenlying and choosing to see the
best in someone.
I would be willing to bet formany of you in this room, this
is going to be the best thingthat I have to say to you today.
There is a difference betweenlying and choosing to see the
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best in someone.
Lying is sinful, it is sayingthings that are not true, it's
empty when we speak it.
But Christians, specifically,can choose to focus on the good
and the beautiful.
And when you say, but Will?
I don't want to lie, I want tobe honest, yes, be honest.
(18:17):
But, christian, you can chooseto focus on what's beautiful.
Will in my marriage?
Will in my relationship?
There are some verynon-beautiful things, yes, and
you need good communicationskills.
And when we do marriagecoaching at the church that's
week two, by the way If you needto get involved in that, if you
and your spouse need to getinvolved in that, if you're
moving towards marriage, if youjust wanna be better at it
(18:38):
before you end up in arelationship, I am happy to
engage in that with you.
I'm not asking you to lie, butwhat I am asking you to do is
this Can you focus on what isbeautiful?
And I'm not even the one askingyou.
This is something thatunbelievers should strive to do,
but this is somethingChristians should be
unbelievably good at.
Christians should beunbelievably good at this
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because we were made to see thebest in someone, because
somebody chose to see the bestin you.
If God was waiting for you tobe a lily among thorns, he'd be
waiting three more millennia ontop of, three more millennia on
top of, but he chose to see younot as just someone with some
intrinsic value, but as hischerished possession.
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Malachi says Christians, youwere made for this.
There's a difference betweenlying and choosing to see the
best in someone.
I've got a little quiz for you.
I'm going to read the verse andI'm going to leave that one,
two, three, four, fifth wordblank.
But it is going to beresponsive.
So start thinking and don't youcheat.
And look it up right now.
It'll go deeper if you don't.
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Finally, brothers, whatever isblank, don't say it yet.
Whatever is honorable, whateveris just pure, lovely,
commendable, any excellence,anything worthy of praise,
here's what the Bible wants youto do.
Think about those things.
All right, bonus points to thecamp store and one free journal
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to the Song of Solomon, if youcan tell me what word goes right
there?
Is the Bible asking you to lie?
No, the Bible is not asking youto lie.
It begins this by saying what istrue, but then it says when you
look at the affection of yourlove, by the way, this is not
just romantic love.
It should be, I think, used inthat way more than anything else
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, because it's where we are mostefficient.
I think this is the way youought to be talking to your
think.
This is the way you ought to betalking to your employees.
This is the way you ought totalk to your employer.
This is the way to love yourneighbor well.
This is the way to encourageyour daughter.
This is the way to showleadership to your sons.
This is the way to lead them.
Romantic interests if you'redating.
(20:58):
Do you see what this is saying?
What are you choosing to focuson?
Because the Bible says whateveris honorable.
Can you find one thing Whatever, whatever, whatever, whatever.
This is all encompassing and,as though that wasn't enough, it
says is there anything?
Is there anything worthy ofpraise?
(21:19):
Can you look at them and say itis so honorable that you do
this this way?
When it comes to you being just, I love the fact that you are
looking for the downtrodden andthe ignored and you care about
them.
Whatever is pure in a world thatwants to elevate what is not
pure, you, my dear, my lovely,my friend, my whatever, my
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neighbor, you pursue what ispure and lovely.
It is commendable the way thatyou work.
It is commendable the way thatyou organize your calendar in
such a way to not make yourselfthe center of your own universe.
Excellence.
You are excellent at this andthis and this.
Is there anything worthy ofpraise?
Yes, and Christians, can I justtell you, every single person
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you will ever meet is created inthe image of God and no matter
how far they have run from hisdesigns for them, god's designs
for their beauty.
There is always somethingtucked into them as being
created.
Will you think on these things?
What do you choose to focus on?
Because this is what he focuseson.
(22:28):
As a lily among brambles, so ismy love among the young women.
She looks in the mirror, seessomething unappealing.
He looks at her and says youare beautiful, my dear, and I
can give you a list because I'vestudied you and then I want you
to notice what she does next.
By the way, this is simply goodleadership on the part of this
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young man.
He spends time loving on her,encouraging her and affirming
her, and she turns around andgives it right back to him as an
apple tree among the trees ofthe forest, those boring old
green trees with nothing worthlooking at.
That can't produce anythinggood for me.
That's what you look like whenI compare you to other men.
No, you produce something.
(23:11):
So is my beloved among theyoung men.
Do you see what the language oftheir love is?
Mutual encouragement, blessingand praise is the native tongue
of their relationship.
And if complimenting your spouseis hard right now, I'm okay
(23:34):
with that.
You may be coming in on a hotSunday.
All right, I've been there andI can tell from all the smiles
I'm getting a lot of you havebeen there.
Maybe your dating relationshipisn't going super hot right now,
maybe you're engaged, maybewhatever, and you will go
through seasons wherecomplimenting them feels
impossible.
This is all I would ask.
It's okay that it may be hardright now.
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Can you look each other in theeye and say it's going to be
really awkward, but that's whatI want to do?
It's going to be really hardright now, but that's what I
want to do.
Please do not give yourself apass on this.
This is the definition ofbiblical love and intimacy.
And, by the way, this is notthe only time they're going to
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compete with one another to showencouragement and affirmation.
It gets better still.
He looks at her and he saysbehold you are beautiful, my
love.
Behold you are beautiful.
Your eyes are doves.
I have ideas.
It's poetry, it's poetry.
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It could mean that doves areinnocent.
It's poetry, it's poetry.
It could mean that doves areinnocent.
And this girl's eyes areinnocent.
They don't wander, by the way,you'll find that to be true of
her character in just a moment.
Her eyes don't wander from oneguy to the next.
It could be that they're gentle.
It may have something to dowith them having a grayish color
.
We don't know, because thepoetry doesn't explain it to us.
(25:01):
But what I can tell you is thisthis guy is into her eyes.
I gave you a score morning.
Here's where it's going to comeinto play.
Here is every body part that hereferences in the song.
It's too small for you to see,so let me see what I can do.
I just want you to notice thisHer eyes for him, take the cake.
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Now, men, this may not be yourranking, and that's fine, but
you need to know what you loveabout her.
You need to know what you canpraise about her.
You need to know that this guyhas no problem making quite a
long, and he calls her eyesdoves.
(25:49):
And she responds If you'regoing to talk about my eyes,
behold, you are beautiful, mybeloved, truly delightful.
Now I have a question for you.
Chemistry, character, communitythat is how the Bible defines
romantic love.
These last three verses I wantyou to.
(26:10):
You can talk with the personnext to you.
I want you to tell me if youthink that is chemistry or
character.
Here's what it says.
She looks at him and she saysour couch is green, the beams of
our house are cedar, ourrafters are pine.
Is she talking about chemistrywith this guy or is she talking
about character?
I'll give you seven seconds.
(26:31):
Just share your thoughts withsomebody next to you.
Chemistry or character?
Here's what I know.
Oh, y'all are starting todisagree.
Are you trying to convince theother person of something you're
(26:52):
unsure of yourself?
Sounds like y'all are ready formarriage.
She immediately begins talkingabout something I've heard my
wife talk about I'd like to havea nice new couch.
I'm like this guy knows hiswoman all right.
She looks at him and she's likeI love our green couch, the
(27:13):
beams of our house.
He has created this stable homefor us.
When I look at our ceilings, Ithink this man has gone above
and beyond by show of hands.
How many of you guys went thecharacter of the man, okay.
How many of you went chemistry?
How many of you won't raise?
How many of you won't raiseyour hands because you don't
want to be wrong at church?
All right, we are going to hearabout character.
(27:38):
I think this is chemistry.
I'll tell you why.
By the way, you're not right orwrong.
I'm just some guy who reads hisBible.
The guy has character.
But I'll tell you what I thinkis happening here.
I think you and I have justbeen invited to join them on a
midday picnic during his lunchbreak, and it took them a minute
(27:59):
to get here.
I put into chat GPT a couple ofthe verses and adjectives and
this is what it came up with.
I had to tell it to darken herskin and the guy still looks
like he works at, I don't know,dell.
(28:20):
But behold, you are beautiful,my beloved, truly delightful.
Our couch is green, the beamsof our house are cedar, our
rafters are pine.
I think what's happening here iswe're joining them at lunch,
and the reason I think this isbecause, before this happens,
she reaches out to her belovedand she says tell me you, who my
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soul loves, where you pastureyour flock.
Remember he's a shepherd, shecalls him a king, but he's got a
different job when you make itlie down at noon.
For why should I be like onewho veils herself beside the
flock of your companions?
Ladies, I've already talked tothe men in the room and told
them they need to use theirwords Might.
I give you a coupleencouragements as well.
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She chooses to meet him at work.
One of the things that is veryclear about this is she wants to
find him at noon, when he knowshe's going to be taking a lunch
break.
She does not resent his labor,she respects it.
His work provides refuge forher.
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It is not a rivalry for her,and both can and do get this
wrong.
In our culture, right, thebreadwinner male or female in
every home can sort of lift upthe labor.
But the way God intends it isthat the work of the one or the
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ones who are bringing financesinto the home should be
providing refuge, not rivalry.
And she sees it hey, when doyou have a moment off?
I'm going to come and meet you.
He tells her where to find himand when she gets there she
wants him to know.
I need to know what floor youwork on, I need to know what
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room you're going to be in,because I do not want to be like
one who veils herself besidethe flock of your companions.
I don't want to show up by theway, women would have worn a
veiled garment here and it couldhave come across as
prostitution back then Going tothe place where men work in the
middle of the day and she says Idon't want there to be any
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confusion.
I'm coming for you and for youalone.
I'm not showing up to try toget the eyes of your coworkers.
I'm not trying to get the eyesof your friends.
I'm not trying to send mixedsignals.
You are my focus and Iappreciate what you do for our
family.
You see, when I look at thispicture, I don't think it is his
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character.
I think she's bringingcharacter to the picture and I
do wonder does this pictureremind you of anything?
If I do this, does it remindyou of anything?
What does it look like to you?
And I think there's a reason.
This passage in scripture isintended to look like a garden.
(31:17):
We sit on a couch of green.
It's just a rolling hill.
They're under a couple of treeswith beams made of cedars under
the canopy that is providingshelter from the foliage.
And I think God is wanting usto go all the way back to.
What did love look like beforesin messed it up?
What did love look like when wecould, without shame, share
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ourselves with one another?
What did it look like when wewere rooting for and building
each other up, instead of howthe garden ended by Adam tearing
down Eve, not providingprotecting shelter for her,
watching over her.
What did it look like when Eveturned her back on him and
blames him?
And it turns into this thing.
What if, husbands and wives,you started shooting for this?
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The Bible would encourage us to, even if we know we're never
going to get there perfectly.
And when this man is present, heis present.
You will notice no email beingchecked, no text messages being
scrolled through, no Instagram,nothing.
He's with her.
She has his eyes and he hashers.
(32:25):
He does, after all, love them,by the way.
For all of these reasons, theydelight in being together and
they strive to be a delight tothe other in their words and in
their actions.
Her love never justifiesreckless behavior.
There's not even a hint ofimpropriety.
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There's not even a hint ofimpropriety.
Nothing sleazy, nothing shady,nothing seedy or nothing sordid.
He has her full attention andfocus and she has his.
Scripture goes on and it saysthat they are delighted with one
another.
If you look in verse eight, hesays chapter 1, verse 8, I'm
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just realizing I don't think Ican put it up there.
I'm sorry, guys, if you do notknow, o, most beautiful among
women, I'll tell you how to findme in this little garden.
Follow the tracks of the flockand pasture your young goats
beside the shepherd's tents.
He invites her to come and meetand the very first time he
speaks to her he says you don'tknow.
You don't know that you are themost beautiful.
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If you were to read more ofthis, you may realize that what
he's actually saying here isyou're insecure, I don't know
what.
For Chapter 1, verse 5 through6, somebody's already way ahead
of me and I love it.
She turns heads before shewalks through the door.
1.8.
Doesn't need makeup to cover up.
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Being the way she is is enough.
Chapter 2, verse 2.
Everybody else in the room cansee it everybody else but her.
1.8, because she lights up hisworld like nobody else.
1 10.
When we were doing the preachingprimer, we were reading this
and I was like, if you thinkHarry Styles is a good writer, I
just want you to know he stoleeverything for that song from
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God's song about love.
The way you flip your hair getsme overwhelmed.
I'm going to prove it to you.
Give me a minute.
Gets me overwhelmed.
I'm going to prove it to you.
Give me a minute.
We haven't gotten here yet, buther hair is like a flock of
goats leaping down the slopes ofGilead.
Her rolling, bouncing curlsdrive him crazy.
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When she smiles at the ground,it isn't hard to tell 1, 15, and
4, 2.
It's not just her hair.
Her teeth are like a flock ofshorn ewes that have come up
from the washing.
She brushes her teeth and sheseems to have all of them too,
all of which bear twins.
Not one of them has become lost.
She doesn't know.
She's beautiful.
Chapter 2, verse 1.
That's what makes her beautiful.
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Chapter 1, verse 8.
That's fun for me, but I wantyou to realize our culture is
striving for something that Godis already giving.
That's what I want you torealize.
Harry Styles didn't findsomething.
What was the name of the band?
One Direction, easy.
Let's be excited about it.
One Direction Jesus.
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Let's be excited about it.
I can't get you guys.
When we tried to clap duringthat song, stokesy it was
applause.
At the beginning it wasapplause.
I told him hey, I'm justshooting for the chorus.
If they do more than that, it'svarsity level.
Beauty let's get back to it.
Beauty is a gift to enjoy andcultivate.
Please do not misunderstandGod's word on this.
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It should be enjoyed and itshould also be cultivated.
But it is not a God to worship.
It never will be a God toworship, but our culture would
love to take it and swing it oneway or to the other.
I'd like to show you a coupleof more verses.
As an apple among the trees ofthe forest, so is my beloved
(36:10):
among young men.
I've already read this part toyou, but I want you to hear what
she has found in this man.
Men, this is what the women inthe room want.
With great delight, I sat inhis shadow.
His fruit was sweet to my taste.
He brought me to a banquetinghouse.
His banner over me was love.
So he will sustain me, he willrefresh me.
(36:33):
This is what makes me sick withlove, intoxicated with love.
This is what causes me to wantto be embraced by him.
I feel safe with this man.
What Adam was in the garden.
This man is the opposite of.
I can be under the shadow ofhis leadership and protection.
He can uphold me from below.
(36:55):
Whatever this man is, he seemsto want to bring me to a table,
and that table is called loveselfless, sacrificial,
ephesians-ish type love.
So, yes, he holds me, heembraces me, and the Bible isn't
ashamed of this.
Why?
Because this woman feels lovedand she feels safe.
(37:17):
She feels like this man is moreabout her own good than he is
about his.
Beauty is a gift to enjoy andcultivate and it will never be a
God to worship.
But true love, though it maydelight in the body, it is
anchored in the soul.
And if you have lost heart atthis, let me encourage you with
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God's word Do not lose heart.
Though our outer self iswasting away, believer, your
inner self is renewed day afterday after day.
There is something in point,one that would encourage us to
want to pursue beauty andattractiveness to our spouses.
(38:00):
If you're single, beauty andattractiveness unto the one who
will be your spouse, not all whowould give you affirmation,
those who would be a shelter,those who will be your spouse
Not all who would give youaffirmation, those who would be
a shelter, those who would be abanner over you, those who would
uphold you.
But it is anchored in the soul.
Perhaps she's putting energyinto her beauty because she's
(38:24):
already receiving so muchaffirmation from him that her
physical beauty is not to getcompliments from.
Beauty is not to getcompliments from him, not to get
compliments from others, butjust to be a gift to him.
I'm created in the image of God.
There is value intrinsically inme and I want to be as
beautiful for you, my beloved,as I can.
And perhaps he is working hardand he is providing well because
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she spent so much timeaffirming and praising him.
He's not working to prove thathe's good enough.
She's convinced him of that.
He's working simply because hewants to provide the best that
he can for her.
This is what you will find allthroughout the passages of
Solomon, and it is ageless.
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Christians, I would just tellyou that I do think our culture
really struggles with this.
I think our culture of thedesire to fight aging would love
to couch itself in I just wantto be attractive for my spouse
or my future spouse.
That's why Look great, justdon't make the thing of God.
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But I will tell you, if yourbattle is against anti-aging,
time is undefeated and I don'tmind you fighting a bit against
aging, but please don't fightagainst wisdom here.
There's a reason.
The Bible says that white hairis a crown.
It is the inner growth of thesoul that God is looking at.
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I'd like to show you one morething, and Stokes.
Yes, you can float and feelfree.
We've talked about chemistry andwe've seen her character, we've
seen his.
Is there any community in thisOne teeny little piece?
This is what I've read to youso far, and right, smack dab in
the middle is the only place theothers speak up.
(40:13):
And here is what they say.
They look at this girl wholooks in the mirror and doesn't
feel good enough.
They look at her, who sees thisguy who thinks he's way out of
her league, and he looks at herand she's a lily among brambles.
And there's this beautifulmutual affection.
They pursue beauty, but itisn't a God to them.
(40:34):
And her friends say we're goingto join in on this love.
We're going to make for youornaments of gold studded with
silver.
We're going to help you getready for this wedding that you
are going to have.
Her friends provide her withjoy, not jealousy, and in turn
she gives them wisdom.
Yes, his left hand is under myneck and his right hand embraces
(40:59):
me, but as soon as she says itand the heartbeats of her
friends begin to increase, shesays I adjure you, o daughters
of Jerusalem, do it this way.
It's better to do it this wayby the gazelles or does of the
field.
Do not stir up or awaking loveuntil it pleases, until the
right time, until it pleases God.
Wait for this, it is worth it.
(41:21):
Wait not just for the chemistrybut for the character.
Not just for the chemistry andthe character but for the
community.
Wait for these things Becausethe Bible doesn't shame physical
beauty, it doesn't, has noproblem talking about something
our culture thinks is awkward,but it will always subordinate
(41:41):
it to something greaterGodliness which never is taken
away, godliness which moves fromone degree of glory to the next
.
The Bible is not detached fromreality, and the more I realize
that God is love and love comesfrom God, the less jealous I
become of it.
So when I take my wife out fora breakfast on Friday this week
(42:05):
and we go downtown to Plucked Upand my daughter joins us and
I'm cutting into this likeperfectly grilled piece of pork
and I want to poke it with myfork and hold it across the
table and her lady, in the trampstyle, just take a little bit,
it's delightful, and she says Idon't want that, you eat it, you
ordered it.
I'm like, oh wait, a minute,hang tight here.
(42:27):
And then I look at the tablenext to us and there's a woman
putting food I'm not kiddingputting food on her fork and
holding it, and her husband eatsit.
Do you wanna know what wants tohappen in us?
Jealousy, jealousy.
I want love like that.
But the more I read this, themore I get excited to just see
love, to realize that Godcreated it, to realize that his
(42:50):
timing is perfect for it, torealize that he is not ashamed
of it, but he will alwayssubordinate it to something that
is better godliness, whichallows us not to be jealous but
to celebrate.
And where does that come from?
As we move to communion, itcomes from this.
I don't know if you know thisabout Christ, but the Bible
(43:12):
would want you to know it.
Isaiah, looking forward, saidhe, being Jesus, had no former
majesty.
That we should look at him.
Jesus, according to scripture,had no beauty that you would
desire him.
That is what God sent.
Do you realize God could havesent him in all of his glory,
all of his power, all of hisbeauty, and every tongue would
(43:34):
have confessed and every kneewould have bowed.
That's going to happen, by theway.
But instead he comes like oneof us, and he had to to live the
life for many of us, so that hewould die the death that we
deserved, so that those who lookat him and see no beauty would
all of a sudden behold the kingin his beauty.
(43:55):
In a world that either worshipsbeauty or denies its power,
scripture shows us a better wayReceive beauty as a gift.
Ground it in covenant maritallove, found it in covenant
marital love and surrender it tothe glory of God.
Maybe you've never seen thatbeauty in Jesus before.
(44:18):
Maybe you haven't.
Today, I hope you will see forthe first time a beauty that you
might have ignored, diminishedor forgotten about.
And let today be the day thatyou see that Christ made himself
dark so that you would seehimself beautiful, that he looks
(44:38):
at your darkness and it doesnot cause him to flee, because
he sees what he created you tobe and he has not given up on
you yet and he never will.
So, as we come to the tabletogether, let us put our eyes on
the beauty of the King.
There are a number of ways thatwe respond.
Every week We'll respond incommunion, but I just want to
(45:01):
let you know if you want to stepout in the back and walk in the
grass and let the praises ofthe people wash over you and
just talk to the Lord silently.
Do that If you want to be inhere kneeling, lifting your
hands or raising your voice it'swhat most of us do.
But if you want to talk orcelebrate, pray with a pastor,
get encouragement, a couple ofus will be at the doors and then
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Stokes you, just lead usthrough communion however you
feel best.
Good morning church.
We're going to be reading fromSong of Solomon, chapter 2,
verses 1 through 7, which is onpage 560 in the Pew Bibles.
So I'll give you a coupleseconds to turn there.
I am a rose of Sharon, a lilyof the valleys, as a lily among
(00:27):
brambles, so is my love amongthe young women.
As an apple tree among thetrees of the forest, so is my
beloved among the young men.
With great delight I sat in hisshadow and his fruit was sweet
to my taste.
He brought me into thebanqueting house and his banner
over me was love.
Sustain me with raisins,refresh me with apples, for I am
(00:51):
sick with love.
His left hand is under my headand his right hand embraces me.
I adjure you, o daughters ofJerusalem, by the gazelles or
the does of the field, that younot stir up or awaken love until
it pleases.
This is the word of the Lord.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Thanks, landry, much appreciated.
In case you're curious, we havebegun about a seven-week study
on the Song of Solomon, so thereadings will get progressively
more provocative as we dig in.
Also wanted to let you guysknow a couple of things.
We had a number of people sayhey, will, are we going to do
(01:32):
the Bible journals while we'rewalking through the Song of
Solomon?
We did grab some Some of youalready noticed that and grabbed
them off the table on your wayout.
If you want to grab one so thatyou can have notes as we work
through this book together,please feel free to do so.
Hey, adam, question for you.
I worked at Camp Joy for abouteight years.
In fact, over half of our staffat the church full-time staff
(01:57):
worked at Camp Joy and we wouldcome up to the crossroads.
Back then it was a farm.
Do you remember those days?
Were you around?
Okay, so we would come up tothe farm and they had pigs and
they had an emu farm at oneperiod.
But here's my big question Doyou guys do anything with
bicycles anymore?
You have no clue what I'mtalking about.
(02:19):
So, the crossroads guys, backin the day when I was down the
hill at Camp Joy, one of theministries was they would work
on bicycles that would then goback to Valley Rescue Mission to
provide bikes that actuallyworked for the kids who came in
the shop to get them, and wewould go every summer at the
beginning of camp and we got topick out our bike that we got to
ride around camp.
I love you guys.
(02:40):
I'm so pumped to have you.
We'd love to maybe have youguys come back and share a
testimony or two with us oneSunday.
Thank you guys for being here.
Also, impactors I know we havefewer in first service than
second.
I'm gonna miss you guys.
This is last Sunday, right LastSunday.
We're at second service.
I know that most of y'all comesecond service, so we're praying
you guys off second service.
But since you may not be here,just wanted to tell you, love
(03:07):
you so, excited for whatever Godhas next for you and grateful
for your time with us.
All.
Right, here we go.
Song of Songs is where we are.
Song of Solomon same book, twodifferent titles.
Let me give you a couple ofheads ups.
Number one men in the room,boys in the room, women I'm not
quite as worried about you onthis one.
Next week is Mother's Day.
This is your heads up.
This is your kind, shepherdly,pastoral warning that Amazon
(03:30):
two-day delivery is still inyour favor.
I cannot make this announcementto you in three days.
That is my little gift to youthis Sunday.
Now, as we jump into the booktalking about love, here's what
we did last week.
As we started the book, in theevent that you're parachuting in
with us, the first thing weasked is does this book belong
in the Bible?
When Landry is reading versesix, I think, which is my
(03:54):
favorite of the section we'regoing to look at today, and it
says his hand is behind my, hisleft hand.
I love the specificity there.
He's probably a righty.
His left hand is behind my neck, his right hand embraces me.
The concept here is love issomething created by God to be
cherished by God.
But, as with every good giftthat God gives us, we love
(04:18):
taking good things and makingthem God things, and so the
slide that we ended with lastweek was this In scripture,
romantic love consists ofchemistry, yes, character, of
course, and community.
But the slide I ran out of timeand I didn't get to show you
last week was this one.
I know it's a little bit small,sorry to the folks in the back.
(04:40):
These are all of the themeswe're going to look at over the
next six weeks.
I'm not going to read them allout to you.
I also am wise enough not toput folks in the back.
These are all of the themeswe're going to look at over the
next six weeks.
I'm not going to read them allout to you.
I also am wise enough not toput them in order, because some
of you will pick your favoritesand skip church on the ones that
you don't necessarily like.
So in no particular order.
That being said, this Sundaywhat we are going to be looking
(05:01):
at is, according to Scripture,what is beauty?
And can I just give you alittle bit of what I would call
a squirm warning?
All right, none of the verseswe are going to look at today
move heavy into PG-13.
It's God's book.
None of it's R-rated, none ofit's restricted to anybody who
(05:23):
comes to it rightly, but we'renot even going to move into a
heavy PG-13.
However, middle schoolers inthe room, there might be a
little squirming at one or twoparts.
High schoolers in the roomthey've evolved beyond squirming
, but there may be some sideglances to try to find their
friends in the sanctuary.
So I'm just giving you thatheads up if your kids are with
(05:46):
you.
Here is where we find ourselvesNow.
Thus far in the book, we'reonly four verses.
In starting, in verse five, theyoung man has yet to speak.
You've only heard from thewoman so far in the song of
Solomon.
You're going to hear from himfor the first time today and I
will tell you.
Men, you need to hear what thisguy has to say, and more than
(06:09):
what he has to say, you need tolisten to what the purpose of
his words are when he uses them.
But here's how the song begins.
Verses 1 through 4 are hersaying Let him kiss me with the
kisses of his mouth.
His love is better than Hisname.
Is oil poured out?
She is lavishing on this guyincredible amounts of beauty and
(06:31):
encouragement and affirmation.
And then she looks in themirror and here's what she would
say of herself I'm very darkbut lovely.
Oh, daughters of Jerusalem,like the tents of Kadar, like
the curtains of Solomon, do notgaze at me because I am dark.
(06:54):
She looks at him and gives himall of this praise, and then she
looks in the mirror and all ofa sudden feels insufficient.
I don't care how young you arein the room.
I don't care how beautiful youare in the room.
I don't care how beautiful youare in the room.
Every one of us has looked inthe mirror at one time or
another and gone, and the olderyou get, the more frequent that
(07:15):
happens.
Okay, that's just one of therealities of beauty, and as we
talk about beauty today, I wantyou to understand something.
I'm not going to give you thepastor shuffle where I say
everything is inner beauty.
God's word has no troubletalking about things that might
be uncomfortable.
It has no problem in Genesis,talking about the differences in
Leah and Rachel and how one ofthem had a higher beauty
(07:38):
quotient than the other did.
But the Bible also meets us inthese moments when we look in
the mirror and we don't likewhat we see, and it is something
profound to say to us.
She looks at herself and herculture was a little different
than ours.
She's got a killer tan is whatthis says.
The reason we know that isbecause of how she got here.
(07:58):
Don't gaze at me because I amdark.
I look.
My skin is like the tents thatlitter the area, weather worn
and sun washed.
Why?
Because the sun has looked uponme.
My mother's sons were angrywith me.
They made me keeper of thevineyards, but my own vineyard I
(08:21):
haven't kept.
This story is less like Estherand more like Cinderella.
Esther, we read about, spends12 months trying to make herself
beautiful for the man that sheis trying to court here.
This is not what we find.
What we find is more of aCinderella story.
There's a quote from DouglasO'Donnell.
She has a working classcomplexion and her hair is
(08:45):
undone and her attire isunattractive.
She's been on her feet all daypruning vines or picking grapes,
shooing away sneaky foxes thatwould come into the vineyard,
and when she gets off her shiftshe calls it a day.
No time for a manicure andpedicure and certainly no time
to powder her sunburned cheeks.
A manicure and pedicure andcertainly no time to powder her
(09:08):
sunburned cheeks.
That is what she thinks of herown body and the way that she
got here.
You can see in the little areathat I've boxed, these are not
what she refers to as herbrothers, but her mother's sons.
For whatever reason, she is ina family environment where she
has half brothers who seem toresent her.
Cinderella had step sisters inthe tale that we have all heard.
(09:32):
But here she is, in a familythat has probably had some
difficulty in it to lead here,and her brothers have looked at
her with some kind of rejection.
We don't know why the Bibledoesn't tell us why.
All we know is she feels likelife hasn't been fair to her,
that she wants to give to thisman the best that she can when
(09:52):
it comes to the beauty she canoffer, but she feels like the
world is working against her.
She says they made me keeper ofthe vineyards.
I didn't want this job.
It was foist upon me.
This was not a choice.
The responsibilities that layin my hands and at my feet
prevent me from being andpresenting myself the way that I
(10:16):
want to.
There's no getting around it.
The world has tainted herbeauty and it's also tainted her
understanding of it.
But tucked into this is not justthe Bible being realistic about
physical beauty and ourperceptions of it.
Tucked into this is thisbeautiful little nugget of
(10:38):
theology, because every one ofus on the spiritual side are
simultaneously dark and lovely,is what scripture would tell us.
We are far too darkened by sin,but we are lovely by design.
A couple of you guys said Will,why are you wearing a suit
today?
What happened?
First of all, whenever you tellme that, you tell me what
(11:01):
Sundays you miss, I'm wearing.
I put on my jacket because thisis Communion Sunday and I tend
to dress it up a little bit morefor Communion Sunday.
I point to that at this point inour service because, when we
end, all of you who are membersof the family of faith you don't
have to be a member of midtree,but you need to be a believer
(11:24):
All of you are going to beinvited to come down to a table
that you don't deserve to sit at, that was prepared for you by
another.
And when you come, you're goingto come with two things You're
going to come with darkness andyou're going to come with
loveliness.
This is one of the mostfascinating realities of humans
compared to everything else inall creation.
You are darkened by the worldthat you live in, the sin within
(11:46):
you and the sin without theworld that wants to wear you
down.
You are constantly beingattacked by the outside and by
the inside, and every now andthen, when we're honest with
ourselves, we look down and werealize I'm not anywhere near as
(12:07):
beautiful as what God hascalled me to be, not beautiful
in my thoughts, in my words, inmy actions.
And yet God never stops callingyou lovely.
You are, in all creation, theonly thing created in the image
of the one who created allthings you.
Nothing else stands out as theimago Dei, the image of God.
(12:27):
So, yes, we're gonna talk aboutphysical beauty, but please
grab this, consider this,prepare your hearts for
communion with this.
We humans are unique and at ourbest, we are the only thing made
in the image of our creator.
At our best, we are the onlything made in the image of our
creator.
At our worst, we are the onlyones who keep turning away from
our creator after he has offeredus glorious grace.
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We seem to be simultaneouslymore glorious than the angels
and filled with more garbagethan the demons.
And if that causes you tostutter and say, well, that
can't be possible, can I justsubmit to garbage than the
demons.
And if that causes you tostutter and say, well, that
can't be possible, can I justsubmit to you that the demons
were never given a second chance, and we are.
And even after being given asecond chance, we turn to sin
(13:11):
and we turn to sin and we turnto sin and we turn to sin.
Dark but lovely, yes, and mayall of us find ourselves at a
table we didn't deserve to be atbut for our purposes in this
moment, just understand thatthis young lady wants to have a
right understanding of herbeauty.
She has an accurate image ofself.
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The world's done a number on me, but there is something
intrinsically beautiful about meand it would be wise for us to
do the same.
I'm going to take you back intime a little bit to enjoy this
reality with me.
If, when I was in my young 20s,I'm guessing I was probably
(13:55):
married here, 25.
If I was at a party and Iwanted to court an available
young female and John playingthe drums here in rock band and
Stokes, of course, lead vocalsin rock band on the PlayStation
2, if we were all at a party,where's Stokes?
(14:16):
Where is he?
Is he in the green room?
Has he done his job and left?
Okay, all right, that's fine.
Right, that's fine, whatever,all right, hey, dude, I love you
so much.
One of my highlights of thismorning was knowing that you're
gonna have to look at you for aminute and I'm just gonna let it
linger.
If the three of us showed up toa party and we were interested
in a young lady and the younglady was interested in somebody
(14:38):
who was tall, I can tell you whoshe is going to notice of the
three of us.
If the young lady is interestedin somebody with musical talent
, I can tell you who she isgoing to be interested in.
If she wanted somebody who waswise and intelligent, gentle,
yet strong.
Whatever, I think it'simportant for us to have an
(15:02):
accurate self-image, and Iwouldn't even say that an
accurate image of ourselves,because God has made no mistakes
in the way he made you.
Your height is not a mistake.
Beauty is something to becultivated, absolutely.
But what we're going to find isour culture tends to swing
really far one way or really farto the other, and there is this
Godward tension and the Bibledoesn't mind discussing it.
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Stokes I'll take it off for youwhen she continues thinking
about herself.
This, by the way, is after theyoung man has had a moment to
affirm her.
She comes around a little bit.
In chapter two, verse one, shesays okay, okay, there are
broken things in me, but thereis intrinsic beauty.
So I'm willing to say this I'ma rose of Sharon.
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This would have been a brightred rose, a lily of the valleys.
Now, this is perfect timing forus.
When she says I'm a lily of thevalleys, we think, oh, that's
beautiful.
And it is.
She's saying I am beautiful, Iam created beautiful.
Yes, but here's what she doeswith her beauty.
She says I'm a lily like anyother lily in the valley
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Beautiful, yes, but when youcompare me to the people around
me, I am just some girl.
There's nothing particularlyimpressive about me.
I'm not really desirable enough, even though there is beauty in
me.
As you guys go home today, Iwould invite you to look in the
middle of the highway as you go.
It's the best time of year tolook at.
(16:27):
Song of Songs, chapter two,verse one.
Why?
Because wildflowers arespringing up between the two
highways.
We don't have mountains inColumbus, georgia and Harris
County.
You go up a little bit, you'llfind one, but there are no
valleys between the two.
And what this young lady issaying is you know what?
I'm pretty?
I'm pretty like a flower.
And then here is the very nextverse.
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The man hears what she says andhe says no, no, as a lily among
brambles.
So is my love among the youngwomen.
Is she more beautiful than them?
I don't know, but I will tellyou this.
He thinks so.
He looks at her and he saysdon't you for a minute diminish
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yourself.
When I see you, I see a lilythat is surrounded by brambles.
So is my love among the youngwomen, men?
This is where I want you to payattention.
He is looking for opportunitiesto encourage and affirm her,
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and you could say but Will, likewhat if she isn't Like what if
she isn't as special?
There's a difference betweenlying and choosing to see the
best in someone.
I would be willing to bet formany of you in this room, this
is going to be the best thingthat I have to say to you today.
There is a difference betweenlying and choosing to see the
(17:57):
best in someone.
Lying is sinful, it is sayingthings that are not true, it's
empty when we speak it.
But Christians, specifically,can choose to focus on the good
and the beautiful.
And when you say, but Will?
I don't want to lie, I want tobe honest, yes, be honest.
(18:17):
But, christian, you can chooseto focus on what's beautiful.
Will in my marriage?
Will in my relationship?
There are some verynon-beautiful things, yes, and
you need good communicationskills.
And when we do marriagecoaching at the church that's
week two, by the way If you needto get involved in that, if you
and your spouse need to getinvolved in that, if you're
moving towards marriage, if youjust wanna be better at it
(18:38):
before you end up in arelationship, I am happy to
engage in that with you.
I'm not asking you to lie, butwhat I am asking you to do is
this Can you focus on what isbeautiful?
And I'm not even the one askingyou.
This is something thatunbelievers should strive to do,
but this is somethingChristians should be
unbelievably good at.
Christians should beunbelievably good at this
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because we were made to see thebest in someone, because
somebody chose to see the bestin you.
If God was waiting for you tobe a lily among thorns, he'd be
waiting three more millennia ontop of, three more millennia on
top of, but he chose to see younot as just someone with some
intrinsic value, but as hischerished possession.
(19:26):
Malachi says Christians, youwere made for this.
There's a difference betweenlying and choosing to see the
best in someone.
I've got a little quiz for you.
I'm going to read the verse andI'm going to leave that one,
two, three, four, fifth wordblank.
But it is going to beresponsive.
So start thinking and don't youcheat.
And look it up right now.
It'll go deeper if you don't.
(19:48):
Finally, brothers, whatever isblank, don't say it yet.
Whatever is honorable, whateveris just pure, lovely,
commendable, any excellence,anything worthy of praise,
here's what the Bible wants youto do.
Think about those things.
All right, bonus points to thecamp store and one free journal
(20:11):
to the Song of Solomon, if youcan tell me what word goes right
there?
Is the Bible asking you to lie?
No, the Bible is not asking youto lie.
It begins this by saying what istrue, but then it says when you
look at the affection of yourlove, by the way, this is not
just romantic love.
It should be, I think, used inthat way more than anything else
(20:36):
, because it's where we are mostefficient.
I think this is the way youought to be talking to your
think.
This is the way you ought to betalking to your employees.
This is the way you ought totalk to your employer.
This is the way to love yourneighbor well.
This is the way to encourageyour daughter.
This is the way to showleadership to your sons.
This is the way to lead them.
Romantic interests if you'redating.
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Do you see what this is saying?
What are you choosing to focuson?
Because the Bible says whateveris honorable.
Can you find one thing Whatever, whatever, whatever, whatever.
This is all encompassing and,as though that wasn't enough, it
says is there anything?
Is there anything worthy ofpraise?
(21:19):
Can you look at them and say itis so honorable that you do
this this way?
When it comes to you being just, I love the fact that you are
looking for the downtrodden andthe ignored and you care about
them.
Whatever is pure in a world thatwants to elevate what is not
pure, you, my dear, my lovely,my friend, my whatever, my
(21:42):
neighbor, you pursue what ispure and lovely.
It is commendable the way thatyou work.
It is commendable the way thatyou organize your calendar in
such a way to not make yourselfthe center of your own universe.
Excellence.
You are excellent at this andthis and this.
Is there anything worthy ofpraise?
Yes, and Christians, can I justtell you, every single person
(22:07):
you will ever meet is created inthe image of God and no matter
how far they have run from hisdesigns for them, god's designs
for their beauty.
There is always somethingtucked into them as being
created.
Will you think on these things?
What do you choose to focus on?
Because this is what he focuseson.
(22:28):
As a lily among brambles, so ismy love among the young women.
She looks in the mirror, seessomething unappealing.
He looks at her and says youare beautiful, my dear, and I
can give you a list because I'vestudied you and then I want you
to notice what she does next.
By the way, this is simply goodleadership on the part of this
(22:50):
young man.
He spends time loving on her,encouraging her and affirming
her, and she turns around andgives it right back to him as an
apple tree among the trees ofthe forest, those boring old
green trees with nothing worthlooking at.
That can't produce anythinggood for me.
That's what you look like whenI compare you to other men.
No, you produce something.
(23:11):
So is my beloved among theyoung men.
Do you see what the language oftheir love is?
Mutual encouragement, blessingand praise is the native tongue
of their relationship.
And if complimenting your spouseis hard right now, I'm okay
(23:34):
with that.
You may be coming in on a hotSunday.
All right, I've been there andI can tell from all the smiles
I'm getting a lot of you havebeen there.
Maybe your dating relationshipisn't going super hot right now,
maybe you're engaged, maybewhatever, and you will go
through seasons wherecomplimenting them feels
impossible.
This is all I would ask.
It's okay that it may be hardright now.
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Can you look each other in theeye and say it's going to be
really awkward, but that's whatI want to do?
It's going to be really hardright now, but that's what I
want to do.
Please do not give yourself apass on this.
This is the definition ofbiblical love and intimacy.
And, by the way, this is notthe only time they're going to
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compete with one another to showencouragement and affirmation.
It gets better still.
He looks at her and he saysbehold you are beautiful, my
love.
Behold you are beautiful.
Your eyes are doves.
I have ideas.
It's poetry, it's poetry.
(24:38):
It could mean that doves areinnocent.
It's poetry, it's poetry.
It could mean that doves areinnocent.
And this girl's eyes areinnocent.
They don't wander, by the way,you'll find that to be true of
her character in just a moment.
Her eyes don't wander from oneguy to the next.
It could be that they're gentle.
It may have something to dowith them having a grayish color
.
We don't know, because thepoetry doesn't explain it to us.
(25:01):
But what I can tell you is thisthis guy is into her eyes.
I gave you a score morning.
Here's where it's going to comeinto play.
Here is every body part that hereferences in the song.
It's too small for you to see,so let me see what I can do.
I just want you to notice thisHer eyes for him, take the cake.
(25:23):
Now, men, this may not be yourranking, and that's fine, but
you need to know what you loveabout her.
You need to know what you canpraise about her.
You need to know that this guyhas no problem making quite a
long, and he calls her eyesdoves.
(25:49):
And she responds If you'regoing to talk about my eyes,
behold, you are beautiful, mybeloved, truly delightful.
Now I have a question for you.
Chemistry, character, communitythat is how the Bible defines
romantic love.
These last three verses I wantyou to.
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You can talk with the personnext to you.
I want you to tell me if youthink that is chemistry or
character.
Here's what it says.
She looks at him and she saysour couch is green, the beams of
our house are cedar, ourrafters are pine.
Is she talking about chemistrywith this guy or is she talking
about character?
I'll give you seven seconds.
(26:31):
Just share your thoughts withsomebody next to you.
Chemistry or character?
Here's what I know.
Oh, y'all are starting todisagree.
Are you trying to convince theother person of something you're
(26:52):
unsure of yourself?
Sounds like y'all are ready formarriage.
She immediately begins talkingabout something I've heard my
wife talk about I'd like to havea nice new couch.
I'm like this guy knows hiswoman all right.
She looks at him and she's likeI love our green couch, the
(27:13):
beams of our house.
He has created this stable homefor us.
When I look at our ceilings, Ithink this man has gone above
and beyond by show of hands.
How many of you guys went thecharacter of the man, okay.
How many of you went chemistry?
How many of you won't raise?
How many of you won't raiseyour hands because you don't
want to be wrong at church?
All right, we are going to hearabout character.
(27:38):
I think this is chemistry.
I'll tell you why.
By the way, you're not right orwrong.
I'm just some guy who reads hisBible.
The guy has character.
But I'll tell you what I thinkis happening here.
I think you and I have justbeen invited to join them on a
midday picnic during his lunchbreak, and it took them a minute
(27:59):
to get here.
I put into chat GPT a couple ofthe verses and adjectives and
this is what it came up with.
I had to tell it to darken herskin and the guy still looks
like he works at, I don't know,dell.
(28:20):
But behold, you are beautiful,my beloved, truly delightful.
Our couch is green, the beamsof our house are cedar, our
rafters are pine.
I think what's happening here iswe're joining them at lunch,
and the reason I think this isbecause, before this happens,
she reaches out to her belovedand she says tell me you, who my
(28:44):
soul loves, where you pastureyour flock.
Remember he's a shepherd, shecalls him a king, but he's got a
different job when you make itlie down at noon.
For why should I be like onewho veils herself beside the
flock of your companions?
Ladies, I've already talked tothe men in the room and told
them they need to use theirwords Might.
I give you a coupleencouragements as well.
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She chooses to meet him at work.
One of the things that is veryclear about this is she wants to
find him at noon, when he knowshe's going to be taking a lunch
break.
She does not resent his labor,she respects it.
His work provides refuge forher.
(29:27):
It is not a rivalry for her,and both can and do get this
wrong.
In our culture, right, thebreadwinner male or female in
every home can sort of lift upthe labor.
But the way God intends it isthat the work of the one or the
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ones who are bringing financesinto the home should be
providing refuge, not rivalry.
And she sees it hey, when doyou have a moment off?
I'm going to come and meet you.
He tells her where to find himand when she gets there she
wants him to know.
I need to know what floor youwork on, I need to know what
(30:10):
room you're going to be in,because I do not want to be like
one who veils herself besidethe flock of your companions.
I don't want to show up by theway, women would have worn a
veiled garment here and it couldhave come across as
prostitution back then Going tothe place where men work in the
middle of the day and she says Idon't want there to be any
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confusion.
I'm coming for you and for youalone.
I'm not showing up to try toget the eyes of your coworkers.
I'm not trying to get the eyesof your friends.
I'm not trying to send mixedsignals.
You are my focus and Iappreciate what you do for our
family.
You see, when I look at thispicture, I don't think it is his
(30:55):
character.
I think she's bringingcharacter to the picture and I
do wonder does this pictureremind you of anything?
If I do this, does it remindyou of anything?
What does it look like to you?
And I think there's a reason.
This passage in scripture isintended to look like a garden.
(31:17):
We sit on a couch of green.
It's just a rolling hill.
They're under a couple of treeswith beams made of cedars under
the canopy that is providingshelter from the foliage.
And I think God is wanting usto go all the way back to.
What did love look like beforesin messed it up?
What did love look like when wecould, without shame, share
(31:40):
ourselves with one another?
What did it look like when wewere rooting for and building
each other up, instead of howthe garden ended by Adam tearing
down Eve, not providingprotecting shelter for her,
watching over her.
What did it look like when Eveturned her back on him and
blames him?
And it turns into this thing.
What if, husbands and wives,you started shooting for this?
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The Bible would encourage us to, even if we know we're never
going to get there perfectly.
And when this man is present, heis present.
You will notice no email beingchecked, no text messages being
scrolled through, no Instagram,nothing.
He's with her.
She has his eyes and he hashers.
(32:25):
He does, after all, love them,by the way.
For all of these reasons, theydelight in being together and
they strive to be a delight tothe other in their words and in
their actions.
Her love never justifiesreckless behavior.
There's not even a hint ofimpropriety.
(32:46):
There's not even a hint ofimpropriety.
Nothing sleazy, nothing shady,nothing seedy or nothing sordid.
He has her full attention andfocus and she has his.
Scripture goes on and it saysthat they are delighted with one
another.
If you look in verse eight, hesays chapter 1, verse 8, I'm
(33:13):
just realizing I don't think Ican put it up there.
I'm sorry, guys, if you do notknow, o, most beautiful among
women, I'll tell you how to findme in this little garden.
Follow the tracks of the flockand pasture your young goats
beside the shepherd's tents.
He invites her to come and meetand the very first time he
speaks to her he says you don'tknow.
You don't know that you are themost beautiful.
(33:36):
If you were to read more ofthis, you may realize that what
he's actually saying here isyou're insecure, I don't know
what.
For Chapter 1, verse 5 through6, somebody's already way ahead
of me and I love it.
She turns heads before shewalks through the door.
1.8.
Doesn't need makeup to cover up.
(33:58):
Being the way she is is enough.
Chapter 2, verse 2.
Everybody else in the room cansee it everybody else but her.
1.8, because she lights up hisworld like nobody else.
1 10.
When we were doing the preachingprimer, we were reading this
and I was like, if you thinkHarry Styles is a good writer, I
just want you to know he stoleeverything for that song from
(34:20):
God's song about love.
The way you flip your hair getsme overwhelmed.
I'm going to prove it to you.
Give me a minute.
Gets me overwhelmed.
I'm going to prove it to you.
Give me a minute.
We haven't gotten here yet, buther hair is like a flock of
goats leaping down the slopes ofGilead.
Her rolling, bouncing curlsdrive him crazy.
(34:45):
When she smiles at the ground,it isn't hard to tell 1, 15, and
4, 2.
It's not just her hair.
Her teeth are like a flock ofshorn ewes that have come up
from the washing.
She brushes her teeth and sheseems to have all of them too,
all of which bear twins.
Not one of them has become lost.
She doesn't know.
She's beautiful.
Chapter 2, verse 1.
That's what makes her beautiful.
(35:06):
Chapter 1, verse 8.
That's fun for me, but I wantyou to realize our culture is
striving for something that Godis already giving.
That's what I want you torealize.
Harry Styles didn't findsomething.
What was the name of the band?
One Direction, easy.
Let's be excited about it.
One Direction Jesus.
(35:26):
Let's be excited about it.
I can't get you guys.
When we tried to clap duringthat song, stokesy it was
applause.
At the beginning it wasapplause.
I told him hey, I'm justshooting for the chorus.
If they do more than that, it'svarsity level.
Beauty let's get back to it.
Beauty is a gift to enjoy andcultivate.
Please do not misunderstandGod's word on this.
(35:49):
It should be enjoyed and itshould also be cultivated.
But it is not a God to worship.
It never will be a God toworship, but our culture would
love to take it and swing it oneway or to the other.
I'd like to show you a coupleof more verses.
As an apple among the trees ofthe forest, so is my beloved
(36:10):
among young men.
I've already read this part toyou, but I want you to hear what
she has found in this man.
Men, this is what the women inthe room want.
With great delight, I sat inhis shadow.
His fruit was sweet to my taste.
He brought me to a banquetinghouse.
His banner over me was love.
So he will sustain me, he willrefresh me.
(36:33):
This is what makes me sick withlove, intoxicated with love.
This is what causes me to wantto be embraced by him.
I feel safe with this man.
What Adam was in the garden.
This man is the opposite of.
I can be under the shadow ofhis leadership and protection.
He can uphold me from below.
(36:55):
Whatever this man is, he seemsto want to bring me to a table,
and that table is called loveselfless, sacrificial,
ephesians-ish type love.
So, yes, he holds me, heembraces me, and the Bible isn't
ashamed of this.
Why?
Because this woman feels lovedand she feels safe.
(37:17):
She feels like this man is moreabout her own good than he is
about his.
Beauty is a gift to enjoy andcultivate and it will never be a
God to worship.
But true love, though it maydelight in the body, it is
anchored in the soul.
And if you have lost heart atthis, let me encourage you with
(37:40):
God's word Do not lose heart.
Though our outer self iswasting away, believer, your
inner self is renewed day afterday after day.
There is something in point,one that would encourage us to
want to pursue beauty andattractiveness to our spouses.
(38:00):
If you're single, beauty andattractiveness unto the one who
will be your spouse, not all whowould give you affirmation,
those who would be a shelter,those who will be your spouse
Not all who would give youaffirmation, those who would be
a shelter, those who would be abanner over you, those who would
uphold you.
But it is anchored in the soul.
Perhaps she's putting energyinto her beauty because she's
(38:24):
already receiving so muchaffirmation from him that her
physical beauty is not to getcompliments from.
Beauty is not to getcompliments from him, not to get
compliments from others, butjust to be a gift to him.
I'm created in the image of God.
There is value intrinsically inme and I want to be as
beautiful for you, my beloved,as I can.
And perhaps he is working hardand he is providing well because
(38:48):
she spent so much timeaffirming and praising him.
He's not working to prove thathe's good enough.
She's convinced him of that.
He's working simply because hewants to provide the best that
he can for her.
This is what you will find allthroughout the passages of
Solomon, and it is ageless.
(39:11):
Christians, I would just tellyou that I do think our culture
really struggles with this.
I think our culture of thedesire to fight aging would love
to couch itself in I just wantto be attractive for my spouse
or my future spouse.
That's why Look great, justdon't make the thing of God.
(39:31):
But I will tell you, if yourbattle is against anti-aging,
time is undefeated and I don'tmind you fighting a bit against
aging, but please don't fightagainst wisdom here.
There's a reason.
The Bible says that white hairis a crown.
It is the inner growth of thesoul that God is looking at.
(39:51):
I'd like to show you one morething, and Stokes.
Yes, you can float and feelfree.
We've talked about chemistry andwe've seen her character, we've
seen his.
Is there any community in thisOne teeny little piece?
This is what I've read to youso far, and right, smack dab in
the middle is the only place theothers speak up.
(40:13):
And here is what they say.
They look at this girl wholooks in the mirror and doesn't
feel good enough.
They look at her, who sees thisguy who thinks he's way out of
her league, and he looks at herand she's a lily among brambles.
And there's this beautifulmutual affection.
They pursue beauty, but itisn't a God to them.
(40:34):
And her friends say we're goingto join in on this love.
We're going to make for youornaments of gold studded with
silver.
We're going to help you getready for this wedding that you
are going to have.
Her friends provide her withjoy, not jealousy, and in turn
she gives them wisdom.
Yes, his left hand is under myneck and his right hand embraces
(40:59):
me, but as soon as she says itand the heartbeats of her
friends begin to increase, shesays I adjure you, o daughters
of Jerusalem, do it this way.
It's better to do it this wayby the gazelles or does of the
field.
Do not stir up or awaking loveuntil it pleases, until the
right time, until it pleases God.
Wait for this, it is worth it.
(41:21):
Wait not just for the chemistrybut for the character.
Not just for the chemistry andthe character but for the
community.
Wait for these things Becausethe Bible doesn't shame physical
beauty, it doesn't, has noproblem talking about something
our culture thinks is awkward,but it will always subordinate
(41:41):
it to something greaterGodliness which never is taken
away, godliness which moves fromone degree of glory to the next
.
The Bible is not detached fromreality, and the more I realize
that God is love and love comesfrom God, the less jealous I
become of it.
So when I take my wife out fora breakfast on Friday this week
(42:05):
and we go downtown to Plucked Upand my daughter joins us and
I'm cutting into this likeperfectly grilled piece of pork
and I want to poke it with myfork and hold it across the
table and her lady, in the trampstyle, just take a little bit,
it's delightful, and she says Idon't want that, you eat it, you
ordered it.
I'm like, oh wait, a minute,hang tight here.
(42:27):
And then I look at the tablenext to us and there's a woman
putting food I'm not kiddingputting food on her fork and
holding it, and her husband eatsit.
Do you wanna know what wants tohappen in us?
Jealousy, jealousy.
I want love like that.
But the more I read this, themore I get excited to just see
love, to realize that Godcreated it, to realize that his
(42:50):
timing is perfect for it, torealize that he is not ashamed
of it, but he will alwayssubordinate it to something that
is better godliness, whichallows us not to be jealous but
to celebrate.
And where does that come from?
As we move to communion, itcomes from this.
I don't know if you know thisabout Christ, but the Bible
(43:12):
would want you to know it.
Isaiah, looking forward, saidhe, being Jesus, had no former
majesty.
That we should look at him.
Jesus, according to scripture,had no beauty that you would
desire him.
That is what God sent.
Do you realize God could havesent him in all of his glory,
all of his power, all of hisbeauty, and every tongue would
(43:34):
have confessed and every kneewould have bowed.
That's going to happen, by theway.
But instead he comes like oneof us, and he had to to live the
life for many of us, so that hewould die the death that we
deserved, so that those who lookat him and see no beauty would
all of a sudden behold the kingin his beauty.
(43:55):
In a world that either worshipsbeauty or denies its power,
scripture shows us a better wayReceive beauty as a gift.
Ground it in covenant maritallove, found it in covenant
marital love and surrender it tothe glory of God.
Maybe you've never seen thatbeauty in Jesus before.
(44:18):
Maybe you haven't.
Today, I hope you will see forthe first time a beauty that you
might have ignored, diminishedor forgotten about.
And let today be the day thatyou see that Christ made himself
dark so that you would seehimself beautiful, that he looks
(44:38):
at your darkness and it doesnot cause him to flee, because
he sees what he created you tobe and he has not given up on
you yet and he never will.
So, as we come to the tabletogether, let us put our eyes on
the beauty of the King.
There are a number of ways thatwe respond.
Every week We'll respond incommunion, but I just want to
(45:01):
let you know if you want to stepout in the back and walk in the
grass and let the praises ofthe people wash over you and
just talk to the Lord silently.
Do that If you want to be inhere kneeling, lifting your
hands or raising your voice it'swhat most of us do.
But if you want to talk orcelebrate, pray with a pastor,
get encouragement, a couple ofus will be at the doors and then
(45:23):
Stokes you, just lead usthrough communion however you
feel best.
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