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April 27, 2025 44 mins

When was the last time you heard a sermon series on the Song of Songs? For most Christians, this passionate, romantic book remains unexplored territory—too scandalous, too sensual, or simply too puzzling to tackle in church. But what if this ancient love poem contains exactly the wisdom our relationships desperately need?

Solomon, considered the wisest man who ever lived, wrote 1,005 songs during his lifetime. The Song of Songs represents his masterpiece—the greatest among them all. Despite being just eight chapters that take only ten minutes to read, this book delivers profound insights about God's design for human passion, intimacy, and commitment.

What makes this book particularly remarkable is its female-centered perspective. The woman speaks more than half the time (53%), with her beloved speaking a third, and the surrounding community offering commentary throughout. Through her eyes, we witness a love characterized by three essential elements: chemistry (the passion that draws two people together), character (the integrity that makes someone trustworthy), and community (the social fabric that supports healthy relationships).

The Song speaks directly to everyone. For singles who wonder if passionate love is worth waiting for, the female protagonist answers with an emphatic "yes!" For married couples who've lost their spark, it offers a vision of romance that remains vibrant through commitment. For parents navigating conversations about sexuality with their children, it provides a God-honoring framework that celebrates physical intimacy rather than sanitizing it.

Beyond human relationships, the Song points to something even more profound. If this is what human love at its best can be, how much greater must God's love be? The most stunning revelation isn't that we should love God passionately, but that God loves us with a passion that exceeds our comprehension—not because we're worthy of such devotion, but because of His grace.

Ready to rediscover this ancient wisdom? Join us as we explore love's sacred territory together—celebrating the beauty of romance while uncovering deeper truths about the One whose love transforms us all. What might happen if we allowed God's word to speak about passion with the same candor and beauty as the Song of Songs?

If you want to learn more about the MidTree story or connect with us, go to our website HERE or text us at 812-MID-TREE.

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right, guys, let me tell you what a joy it is for
us to begin a new book of theBible.
The book is Song of Songs, orSong of Solomon.
If you want, you can go aheadand turn there, ashley, they
will find it.
Oh, hang on, it's not yourfault.
Not your fault.
See, not your fault.
All right, what?
Page?
560.

(00:20):
560.
All right, and let me tell youwhat's happening in this very
moment.
In this very moment, I amlosing a bet.
I'm losing a sizable betbecause Carrie was like I'm
going to get Ashley Johnson toread and if you know Ashley,
this is not her favorite thingin the world at all.
She's like pushing through somestuff.
Additionally, I said you dorealize what we're going to be

(00:41):
reading in Song of Songs.
It's the most scandalous bookin the entire Bible.
So I'm actively losing a bet,but I will leverage it this way.
I am proud of you.
I am super pumped that you're agreat reader, but I know this
is not your favorite thing and Ithink it's a testimony for all
of us.
We ought always be growing andstretching in our faith.
If you're a midtree, we'regoing to keep trying to grow and

(01:02):
stretch you, and so let's enjoyreading God's word together,
all right.

Speaker 2 (01:08):
Ashley, take it away, let's see.
Turn in your Bibles to Song ofSolomon, chapter 1, verses 1
through 4, and follow along as Iread God's word, the Song of
Songs, which is Solomon's she.
Let him kiss me with the kissesof his mouth, for your love is
better than wine.
Your anointing oils arefragrant.

(01:28):
Your name is oil poured out.
Therefore, virgins, love you,draw me after you.
Let us run.
The king has brought me intohis chambers.
Others, we will exult andrejoice in you.
We will extol your love morethan wine.
Rightly do they love you.
This is the word of the Lord.

Speaker 1 (01:46):
Amen.
Good job, ashley, appreciateyou.
Good example setting as well.
All right, guys, while you arethere, let me tell you what I
want to do this morning.
I think it is pretty importantthat you understand the book of
the Bible that we are about tospend time in.
You don't have to turn therenow.

(02:07):
In Acts, chapter eight, there'sthis neat little story of Philip
and a eunuch who's traveling byin a chariot.
And the guy's traveling in achariot and he's reading a
scroll Bonus points, if you knowit, it's the scroll of the book
of Isaiah.
Wait, a ghost.
Second, sir, he's leaning in, Ilike it.
And Philip hops into thechariot with him and he asks him

(02:30):
a question.
And his question was this Acts,chapter eight, verse 30, do you
understand what you are reading?
And the guy looks at him.
He says how can I Like ifsomebody doesn't teach me I'm
reading this.
I know there's something uniqueabout it.
My heart is burning within melast week, but I don't know

(02:51):
exactly what it is.
So here's what I want to do.
I want us to look at one of themost mysterious, scandalous
books of the Bible, and I wantto begin today.
We're going to do two parts.
One I want you to understandthe book that we are reading,
because one of the biggestquestions that people have,
especially if they hear that weare gonna be reading this and
walking through it at church, isthis Does this book really
belong in the Bible?
Let me just say I was watchingyour faces when we were reading.

(03:15):
Let him kiss me with the kissesof his mouth.
It was fun to watch you Virginscoming up.
Didn't see that one coming, didyou right Like okay, what's
going on here?
And this is what I want all ofyou wrestling with this week, so
that you can put this thoughtto bed for the next five or six
weeks as we study this together.
Does this book deserve to behere?

(03:36):
Did God make any mistakes byputting this in here?
When you read John 3, 16,.
For God so loved the world thathe gave his only begotten son
that whoever believes in himwill not perish.
When you read John 3, 16,.
For God so loved the world thathe gave his only begotten son
that whoever believes in himwill not perish.
When you read that, do youbelieve that is more gospel than
what I just read?
May his name spread like oil onthe ground.
In Genesis 1, in the beginning,god created the heavens and the

(03:59):
earth.
Is that more scripture thanwhat we just read?
And I would argue with you thatit is not, that this is a
phenomenal book of the Bible,and let me tell you what is
going to happen, and I want youto begin fighting it now.
One I want you to startfighting that divide in you that
separates godly things fromworldly things and puts them in

(04:19):
categories, and I want Jesus toinvade the entirety of your life
.
That's number one.
The second thing is this, andyou may need to say a little
silent prayer in this moment Iwant you to fight comparison of
the people and the relationshipsaround you, because there is
nothing the enemy would lovemore than to take a scripture
that is supposed to call youupward in Christ and cause you

(04:42):
to be divisive horizontally.
This book is written for singleswho are content in their
singleness, and it's written tosingles who are discontent in
their singleness.
This book is written to singleswho don't know if they're
called singles because they'renow singles because of divorce
or separation.
That's who this book is writtento, because they're now singles

(05:02):
because of divorce orseparation.
That's who this book is writtento, and this book is written to
married people.
It's written to married peoplewho are satisfied in their
marriages, and it's written tomarried people who are not
satisfied in their marriages.
It is also, I believe, writtento parents.
So when you read these wordsand you all of a sudden have the

(05:25):
thought my fifth grader's here,my fifth grader's here, what's
in verse five?
Well, where are we going?
This is as far as we're goingtoday.
By the way, I think this is abeautiful book written to
parents, and I'm not going toshare anything with you that I
haven't shared with every one ofmy children that has made it to
age 10.
That being said, spoiler alertwe work through books of the

(05:46):
Bible.
Next week we'll be in versefive.
So if you want to flip the pageand decide, do I want to bring
my kid in here, flip the page,give me a phone call, I'll let
you know exactly what we'regoing to be going through.
But I think this is a phenomenalbook for fifth graders.
I think this is a phenomenalbook for parents who want to
know how to lead their children,and my argument is going to be

(06:07):
this this book belongs in theBible.
This book is scripture, it iscanon.
It is by God to us and I wouldalmost argue there's not a
better book for our culture tobe reading.
That being said, I readcommentaries to get ready for
sermons.
A commentary is a book about abook, and I've never seen this
in any of the other commentariesthat I've read.

(06:29):
One of the writers, theologians,literally said this this book
should not be preached by newpreachers.
And I was like awesome, let'sgo, let's do this thing, because
it is a little complicated.
So I want to do what I can tomake this as uncomplicated as

(06:51):
possible, and we're going to doit in game format.
All right, some fascinatingcontext for the book, and here's
what you need to do.
If you do not know, will.
Will loves competition.
I love people losing more thanI love winning.
Just so you know, that's how itworks in my brain.
I need you to find a partner.
You don't have to get up ormove, and if you don't, nobody's
gonna know.
But I'd like for you to pick apartner and you're gonna have a
quick trivia game that we'regonna do to get us started.

(07:11):
I also would recommend you putsomething on the line who's
cleaning the dishes?
If you got a roommate makingthe bed?
Who's taking out the trash?
We are going out to eat.
Put something on the line.
I always prefer that Gambling.
You can decide.
All right, not a gamble, if youknow you're going to win and I

(07:32):
lost today.
All right.
Question number one this bookonly has eight chapters and 117
verses, taking the averagereader how many minutes to read
it?
Go, I'm only giving you 15seconds.
Talk amongst yourselves.
How many minutes is it going totake to read Five, four, three,

(07:57):
two?
The average reader will pullthis off in 10 minutes.
All right, average is 10, whichmakes this, by the way, a very
long song.
Greengrass and High TidesForever Outlaws kind of a long
song or Rush with a drum solothat goes forever.
But it also makes it one of theshortest books of the Bible.
This is the other thing I wantyou wrestling with.

(08:18):
This is a book of the Bible,but you do not want to read this
like a book.
You do not want to read thislike a newspaper.
It is a song.
More on that later.
Number two it's just like Estherin that blank isn't mentioned.
Go, going from question one toquestion two is so fun because
everybody has an opinion onquestion one.

(08:39):
Question two is like I don'twant to look dumb, this is a
great place to get things wrongbecause we're going to the one
who gets everything right.
It's just like Esther in that 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, done.
Oh sorry, I'm on my eraser.
In that, god isn't mentioned.
Oh, not many people got that.
Yeah, there you go.
God is not mentioned in Esther.
It's also not mentioned here.

(08:59):
It was historically read everyblank.
This is a calendar answer, allright.
This was historically readevery blank.
This is a calendar answer, allright.
This was historically readevery blank and it's a calendar
answer.
Five, four, three, two.
It was historically read everyPassover.

(09:21):
Now, let me hit pause on this.
Let me hit pause on this.
The reason I want to hit pauseis because there were about four
or five books of the Bible thatyou hold today that would have
been read during the Passovercelebration, when the Hebrew
people got together.
Hear me on this.
What you're about to read issomething they read every single
year as a community the factthat we have many a show of

(09:45):
hands.
How many of you have been at achurch that walked through this
book of the Bible?
Go, put them up, because Ireally want to see them.
Okay, the fact.
Okay.
Are you counting impact?
Or are we all going to churchesthat?
Did it?
Really?
Go team?
All right, you want to know why?
Because y'all go to young.
Yeah, really I want it.
Send me the link.
I'll do it next Easter, savesome time?

(10:06):
All right.
So this would have beensomething that churches, that
God's people, would have readevery year.
The fact that most of us havenot is really to our detriment
and shame.
We are missing out on somethingthat God has for us All.
Right, if you haven't gotten onthe board yet, I'm giving you a
50-50.
It is rarely or frequentlyquoted elsewhere in Scripture

(10:31):
this book, you know howsometimes Jesus will point to
this or an Old Testament willpoint to that Cross-referencing.
Is it rarely or frequentlyquoted elsewhere in Scripture?
Five, four, it is rarely.
Wait, hey, can I show you howrarely.
It's never quoted anywhere elsein scripture.

(10:54):
Does it still belong?
I'm going to argue that it doesand I'm going to try to show
you a couple of places.
Why.
According to scripture, solomonwrote how many songs and this is
what he considered to be hisbest.
There's a scripture that wehave that tells us how many
songs Solomon wrote and how manyproverbs he wrote.

(11:14):
I'm only giving you 10 seconds,so unless you're already on
Google, you're not going to getthis.
How many songs did Solomonwrite of those?
This was his best.
It is a number and it's notnone.
It's also not one.
According to scripture, solomonwrote 1,005 songs.

(11:39):
See how I delayed the five.
That's called crowd work.
Everybody All right.
1,005 songs.
I do not know I'm not amusician, carl you and I could
maybe talk about this.
I don't know what an impressivealbum anthology is.
I don't know how many songswere written that are an

(12:00):
impressive number, but I willtell you this 1,005 seems
amazing.
Additionally, let me get youreyes on this for a minute.
The Bible tells us that Solomonwas the wisest man to ever live.
He was also an absoluteknucklehead, which should tell
you.
None of us should really gettoo proud about how smart we are
or how wise we are.
The wisest man ever, by the way.

(12:20):
He also wrote 3,000 Proverbs.
The wisest man ever wrote 1,005songs.
Wisest guy to ever walk theplanet, and you are reading what
he considered to be his verybest one.
That's what we are looking at.
Does this deserve to be here?
Absolutely yes.
It is the only book of theBible to consistently be given
to what I know.

(12:41):
This one's incrediblyopen-ended, only book of the
Bible to consistently be givento five, four, three, two, one
titles or names Song of Songsand Song of Solomon.
All right, psalms.

(13:02):
Song of Songs and Song ofSolomon.
All right, I'll explain why.
There are two of those in themoments to come.
And it's one of only two bookswhere we are not sure about the.
Again, I know this one'sincredibly wide open.
I'll give you 10 seconds.
We're not sure about the.
In case you haven't gotten anypoints yet, I'll give you the
first letter.
We do not know the author.

(13:23):
Now, that may surprise you,because the book literally says
the Song of Solomon's orSolomon's Song.
Let me tell you why.
Other Bibles, depending on yourversion, will call it the Song
of Songs.
Playing off of the very firstline, this is the song of songs.
Just as Jesus is the Lord ofLords or the King of Kings, this

(13:43):
is the greatest song of anysong ever sung, which is
Solomon's.
When we read that theologiansdisagree, they disagree on did
Solomon write this, or was thiswritten about Solomon, or was
this written to Solomon?
One of the reasons we're alittle bit unsure is because

(14:05):
Solomon's life was a hot mess.
The guy had 700 wives.
That's a lot.
He then had 300 concubinesMakes it worse 10 times worse.
And so the question is was thiswritten by Solomon to Solomon
or about him?
And I'm going to give you whatI think is the best answer,

(14:27):
momentarily, but for ourpurposes today, as we think
about the context and thepurpose of the book, that's part
one of our morning.
Here's what Douglas O'Donnellsays is my favorite commentary
thus far.
The song is a song that Adamcould have sung in the garden
when Eve arose miraculously fromhis side, and it remains a song
that we can and should sing inthe bedroom, the church and the

(14:50):
marketplace of ideas.
In other words, I think thereare four places in your mind.
This scripture should live Inthe garden.
What we see in this song is theideal male-female marital
romantic relationship.
If Eve hadn't listened to thesnake, if Adam had stepped on

(15:10):
its head, what you are going toread is what all of our
relationships would have lookedlike.
This is God's ideal romanticrelationship, but it isn't just
the ideal.
All of us have sinned andfallen short of the glory of God
.
It's why we need the cross,it's why we need grace and it's
why God offers it to us so longas your heart is beating and
your lungs are breathing.

(15:30):
It is offered to you if you donot have that today.
But it isn't just an ideal thatwe see in the garden.
It should invade our bedrooms,and I mean by that exactly what
you think.
I mean by that.
This should also be theaspiration.
Now, some of you don't likeideals.
You don't like ideals becausethey seem far away and

(15:50):
far-fetched and I'm never gonnabe perfect enough to attain it.
But I would encourage you that,as a Christian, even though we
will never be perfect inChrist-like, we want to be more
like Christ.
And this speaks to everymarried content and discontent,
single content and discontent.
And it says this is what youshould aspire to find in the

(16:10):
love that you desire and thelove that you express.
It is also for the church.
More often than not, theillustration of God's love to
his people is coupled inmarriage.
He's referred to Old Testamentand new as the bride groom.
The groom to the bride, jesus,is called the head of the church
and her groom, she, is calledhis bride.

(16:34):
The illustrations thatscripture use we can pull out of
this, and please hear me onthis there ought to be a passion
in our romantic love asChristians and even though there
is no erotic version of thatpassion in God's love toward us,
there is a lesson in that.
Follow me on this.

(16:55):
According to Matthew, jesus saysthere is no marriage in heaven.
If that's new to you, I'll behappy to grab coffee and we can
talk about it.
There is no giving andreceiving in marriage, but we
are like angels.
So since God's word is true andsince Jesus said, however it
works out in heaven, marriagewill not be a part of it.
You'll know your spouse, you'lllove your spouse.

(17:15):
It's heaven, okay.
What it tells me is this whatwe as humans Christian and non
think is the pinnacle of love,receiving, giving and making is
so far sufficient from what youwill have in heaven.
What this should call us torealize is, if there is no

(17:36):
marriage in heaven and there isno intimacy into that way in
heaven and heaven's love isdeeper, wider and grander than
anything we have here there issomething you and I cannot even
imagine that God has for us, andit has nothing to do with
whether we are married here orsingle here.
The other thing that we see isthis should be invading the

(17:58):
marketplace of ideas and this,by the way, is my favorite.
It's my favorite because I knowa bunch of you watch Love is
Blind and I know a bunch of youwatch the Bachelor and the best
of you watch Love on theSpectrum, and I will talk to you
about it all day long.
Okay, but our culture screamshere's what love is.
It looks like this and itsounds like this.

(18:19):
Let me get into the text.
It smells like this and ittastes like this.
It feels like this and I love,love, love.
That God's word says.
You think the culture wants totalk about this?
Let me enter into the space aswell, and God unashamedly steps
in to a human woman and a humanman and he says let me tell you
how beautiful, white, hot,passionate, meaningful I desire

(18:43):
for this to be as well.
And so, when we look at this,it should invade all of these
spaces.
And if you're a note taker, letme tell you the four purposes
that I think we will find.
Number one this is a song andits purpose is to be a song.
If you look through scripture,from Genesis, chapter 29, to
Judges 14, you will find thatGod's people, their wedding

(19:07):
celebration lasted.
Anybody want to guess how manydays a wedding went back in the
day?
Seven days, way to go.
Kudos.
All right, seven days long, canI just tell you, when I talk to
newlyweds or not newlyweds,when I'm doing pre-marriage
counseling, here's what I hearmore than anything else Will.
Could we do the ceremony inlike 25, 30 minutes?
What do you think?

(19:28):
And then they're like but wewant to pour sand, tie ropes, do
communion, and I'm like no, Iwant to talk about Jesus.
Can I have 30 seconds to talkabout Jesus?
All right.
So I just want you to know ourculture doesn't view it the way
theirs did.
Seven days, and let me just be alittle straight up and honest
with you what those seven dayslooked like.
It did look like a weddingcelebration.
It did look like a woman and aman coming together in front of

(19:51):
a community, making a commitmentto one to the other and then
beginning their honeymoon butthis is what might make you
blush to the other and thenbeginning their honeymoon.
But this is what might make youblush.
You were all there too.
They enjoyed their honeymoon.
They came out of their tent andthe party continued.
They drank wine together, theyate food together.
They, as a community,celebrated love for seven days.

(20:12):
They dug into this and it, whatyou are going to read, is a song
, which is why, when we read it,you'll notice this, ashley,
said she and others.
If you have an ESV, you'regoing to see this breakdown.
Why?
Because when this song is sungand, by the way, let me tell you
who I let me enter intoauthorship now.

(20:33):
I do think Solomon wrote this.
I'm not standing behind thepulpit because this is Will's
best guess.
I do think Solomon wrote this.
But how does a guy with 700wives, 300 concubines, that God
said, if you run after all ofthese women, you're gonna run
away from me, becomes apolygamist and an idolater?
How does he write this song?
A number of theologians thinkand I would enter into this

(20:53):
thought he wrote this late inlife.
He wrote this song.
Is that a bird?
Or am I just looking good?
Okay, all right.
He wrote this song from theperspective of the bride.
To say, you'll read inEcclesiastes that I didn't hold
my heart from anything that Ithought was pleasurable, but

(21:14):
when I look back, this is theadvice I would give my younger
self I would look at my youngerself and I would say why are you
spreading your love across athousand different places when
you would have found moremeaning and more satisfaction,
more depth, more passion, moreenjoyment if you had laser
focused on one and one alone?
I think that is what this songscreams, as there is this melody

(21:39):
of a woman and a melody of ahusband and the melody of the
community around them, and whenyou read this like a book, you
miss out.
Tell me if you can spot thedifference.
This, uh, the upper portion isa poem by Lord Byron called she
Walks in Beauty.
Tell me if you can spot thedifference in poetry and prose.
She walks in beauty, like thenight of cloudless climbs and

(22:05):
starry skies and all that's bestof dark and bright meet in her
aspect and her eyes Thusmellowed to that tender light
which heaven to gaudy day denies.
Or you could say, a woman in ablack dress with shiny beads
look pretty when she walked by.
Can you tell the difference,ladies?
You feel the difference.
If you're going to read thislike you read Romans, if you're
going to read this the way youread the gospel of Luke, you are

(22:27):
electing to pick the secondaryreading.
When we read this, we areencouraged to say let him kiss
me.
With the kisses of his mouth.
I want to enter into thepassion and the romance which
God created for you single andmarried content, and not parent

(22:49):
of child.
The second thing that we willsee is this is about human love.
One of the issues that we canhave is we can over-spiritualize
things.
We can say you know what?
You can read this all day long.
You can read anybody, becauseit's only talking about Jesus
and the bride.
But it isn't because there'stoo much of an erotic component
tucked into this.
It doesn't make sense becausethat is not the way that God

(23:11):
loves us.
His love is bigger, it's morepassionate, it's more loving,
even though we can't get ourminds to wrap around it yet, as
with many things in scripture.
But this is an invitation tosee what a man and a woman can
find in Christ together.
When this was written, about athousand years before Christ
came incarnate, the only twoexpressions of sexual romantic

(23:32):
love on the planet were one ahusband and his wife, and two,
sexual slavery.
The world we live in has putthis huge gray area of casual
sexuality in the middle.
You will not find that in thesong.
You will not find it inscripture.
It was in marriage, and it wasin marriage alone, or it was
deviant slavery.
Those were the only two things,and so let us be careful not to

(23:56):
say that this book ought not befor us.
Finally, actually, this one'sthird, thirdly, it is found in
the Bible, and we must read itas such.
It is in the Bible because,while it is going to say here's
what your love can be, should be, should aspire to be, it is

(24:17):
also going to show us a lovethat is beyond us.
Is it just a love song?
No, is it an image?
Yes, but it is not just animage.
It is God displaying thepassion that he has for us.
And then, finally, the fourthpurpose is it is written to give
us wisdom.
It comes third Ecclesiastes,proverbs, ecclesiastes, and then

(24:42):
Song of Songs, of which Solomon, the wisest man ever, is given
credit for, and Proverbs.
I don't know if you know thisor not.
Proverbs is primarily writtento young men.
The word son comes up dozens oftimes, daughter, not one time.
And so if Proverbs is a booksaying hey, here is what young
men need to know, it's Song ofSongs is saying hey, young

(25:03):
ladies.
Listen up Now.
It isn't just for young ladies,but it is especially written to
them in a very special kind ofway that girls are admonished to
wait, even when everythingwithin them and without of them
is saying yes and now.
And this is the thing thatSolomon would have wished for

(25:24):
himself.
I'll tell you the mostencouraging thing to me about
the wisdom that's given.
It is written where's my wife?
I'm going to try to do itbetter this time.
Her feedback was that didn'tmake any sense.
You ready?
Here's my best chance.
It is written most likely by aman, solomon, who was wise, but
it's written from theperspective of a female who is

(25:48):
lavishing in the love that shehas found, a love that she has
found in waiting.
And here's what I love about itthe wisdom is not coming to you
from some scholar.
The wisdom is not coming froman old man with a big beard, a
pastor, a preacher or a teacher.
Here's the way you're supposedto hear this beard a pastor, a
preacher or a teacher.

(26:08):
Here's the way you're supposedto hear this A young woman who
did it right, looking at all ofus and saying it is worth it.
It is worth it to wait, it isworth it to trust God, it is
worth it to honor him, and ifyou will see what I have seen,
if you will find what I havefound, it will tell all of your
passions Shh.
Be quiet until the appropriatetime.

(26:29):
Trust God with the timing,which is a universal truth.
This young lady would haveknown Titus 2.3, which had yet
to be written.
Older women are to be reverentin behavior and not slanderers
or slaves to much wine.
Teach what is good.
She finds this love and wantsto tell everyone it's worth

(26:51):
doing it God's way.
She's going to train the youngwomen Love your husbands, love
your children.
And she is leaning into ascripture that had yet to be
written.
Caveat Some of us are gonnaread this book and we're gonna
say I'm so glad I did it theright way.
Others of us are going to readthis book and we're going to say
I'm so glad I did it the rightway.
Others of us are going to readthis book and we're going to

(27:11):
have to push against shame andcondemnation, and it is
important to me that you knowthis.
The love that you are going toread about you may not have done
life this way.
It is still the love that Godhas for you, and there is grace
that is sufficient for everyfailure that you have had, and
you will see that as well.
So, with all of that, here isan encouragement in wisdom For

(27:39):
all of us.
The lesson is this PuttingChrist and his kingdom first
means putting sex second, orthird or 50th, and for those
gifted with singleness, puttingGod's kingdom first means sex
never.
Jesus is celibate, and Jesuscelebrates the celibate, and so
should we.
Does this book belong in theBible?
Absolutely, I think it does.

(28:00):
Now, all I want to do to finishthis out this morning is point
to a couple of things.
I didn't just want to prep you.
I wanted to walk us through acouple of things, and so here is
what I would like us to see.
Let him kiss me with the kissesof his mouth, for your love is
better than wine.
Your anointing oils arefragrant.
Your name is oil poured out.

(28:22):
Therefore, virgins, this meansyoung ladies love you.
Here's what I want you to hear.
It begins with a bang.
This first three verses is justone scene.
It's one scene.
It's almost like a trailer to amovie.
You're just trying to watchsomething on YouTube and all of
a sudden you get a trailer for anew movie.
There is no slow ramp up.
The scene opens with thisdeeply passionate kiss.

(28:45):
This is not a love you, mom,this is not a.
At church, you both go the sameway and it becomes this awkward
holy kiss.
It's not one of those it's.
You may kiss your bride, andthey've talked about it.
Are you coming in?
Am I coming in?
Is somebody leaning back?
And it is this deep, meaningful, passionate, long kiss.
Deep, meaningful, passionate,long kiss.

(29:09):
One of the things that you willfind in scripture is that
romantic love does havechemistry.
It has significant chemistry.
We also don't even know who'sspeaking.
We don't know who this man is.
We don't know their history.
We don't even know if they'remarried.
At this point, all we know isshe is intoxicated with this
guy's love and he has done her acouple of favors as well.

(29:32):
When she draws near him, hisbreath is something she doesn't
mind.
He's brushed his teeth andprobably chewed on one too many
Tic Tacs that he regretted inthe moment, but it's paying off
in the long run.
He tossed his Axe body spray acouple of years ago and he
invested in something thatsmelled less like a 13-year-old
kid.
And she sees it and here's whatI want you to pick up on this.

(29:54):
She feels appreciated becausehe is displaying that she is.
She feels valued because he isshowing her that you are
valuable.
But it isn't just chemistry.
One of the things, one of thehardest pieces of advice that I
have to give young men who cometo me and they say, will, I want

(30:17):
to be in a relationship?
And then if they say this, Ilove their theology, but I hate
their theology.
They'll say, and you know what?
I know that it's just God andhis timing.
I'm going to wait and I'm likelike, yes, and you're not doing
yourself any favors.
Can't tell you.
That's a hard conversation tohave with a guy.
You don't have a job.
She's gonna want that.
You don't take care of yourself.

(30:37):
You're not making yourself thevery thing that scripture says a
woman is going to long for.
Are you putting yourself in aplace to be desirable?
It's an awkward conversation,but I have it.
I will have it.
If you want to have it, let meknow and then you'll have it.
The other thing I want you tosee is how much celebration
pours out in this.
Your love is better than wineIn scripture.

(30:59):
Wine is something that pointsto celebration.
It's something that points toabundance.
When Jesus performs his firstmiracle, he turns water into at
a, and the very first miraclethat Jesus puts on display is
you should expect in me to findpassion, abundance, meaning

(31:20):
depth, marriage forever under acovenant and a promise that will
never end.
Heaven is a place ofcelebration.
So, yes, let us betheologically serious.
But, christian, you ought tohave a theology of celebration.
You ought to know how tocelebrate good things.
Well, and she does when shelooks at him.

(31:43):
But it isn't just chemistry.
This man has something else.
He has character and it spillsout on the floor in front of him
.
But it isn't just chemistry.
This man has something else.
He has character and it spillsout on the floor in front of him
.
How do we know this?
Because it tells us youranointing oils are fragrant.
The guy doesn't just smell good, your name is oil poured out.
You ever dropped like a can ofolive oil or vegetable oil on

(32:05):
the floor while you were cooking.
You're not getting it up,you're gonna see it forever.
It's gonna attract all.
If you have any kind of floorthat has any kind of pour, it's
gonna soak the stuff up andyou're trying to get it up but
you can't and it just spreadsinto every nook and cranny.
This man's name has done that.
Why is it that virgins seekafter him?
Why is it my interpretation?

(32:26):
Young ladies wanna be near theguy Because he has spent time
putting the chemistry togetherand everybody respects this guy.
It's not just chemistry, it ischaracter.
His name is known, it flows outinto the community.
All of the young ladies arelike I'd take a piece of that.

(32:46):
I'll go on a date with that guy.
You better believe I will.
This is the kind of man that Iwant to be with.
They would say he is a man ofcharacter and I'll tell you this
choked me up in the firstservice and I don't even know
why.
But when she says, draw meafter you, she's still allowing
him to lead, but she is nothiding her feelings for him.

(33:08):
Let us run.
Imagine this race, thisadventure that we could be on
together.
And then she says the king.
Now you could say, well, it'sbecause Solomon was a king.
But keep in mind, he's thecautionary tale.
He's actually gonna show up asthe antagonist in this.
This young woman is theprotagonist and this man, by the
way, she speaks about 53% ofthe time.

(33:34):
The guy speaks a third of thetime and then this community
speaks for about 15%.
She is the loudest voice hereand when she talks about him she
calls him a king.
Now, if you want to look inyour Bible and you look in verse
seven, what you're going torealize is this guy's a shepherd
.
So could they be talking aboutthis David type guy who was a
shepherd, who became a king?
Yeah, maybe they could.
But can I tell you what I thinkis probably happening?
I think this is a guy who worksa nine to five.

(33:55):
I think this is a guy whosehands are calloused, he doesn't
have a crown, he doesn't have ascepter and he doesn't have a
throne, but his name is knownand his chemistry is strong and
because of the way he works,because of the way he loves her,
because of the way he provides,because of the way he thinks
ahead, because of these things,she looks at him and she says

(34:16):
that's my king, that's the onewho I will follow, that's the
one I can trust my life with.
And he looks at her and saysyou treat me in a kingly way,
even if I don't have a kingdomto share.
He is honorable, respectableand upright.
Finally, you will see this Inscripture.

(34:38):
Romantic love consists ofchemistry, character and
community, and can I tell youthat even Christians would
typically be fine with just thefirst two.
But God's word has more for usthan that.
The world may only look fornumber one Christian.
Your bare minimum should be oneand two.
But if you really want toglorify God in your romantic

(34:59):
relationships, add the thirdpiece.
The scene opens with apassionate kiss.
It opens with her louding thisguy and his incredible name, but
it ends like this we will exaltand rejoice in you.
The community is pumped aboutthis relationship.
We are going to extol your lovemore than wine, more than

(35:21):
abundance, more than goodness.
Rightly do they love you.
The whole community is a partof this.
Now, I don't know if you haveseen this play out or not, but
when you see a guy whosechemistry is good and his
character is better, the guy'smore concerned about diapers
than dumbbells.
And, by the way, if you're aguy and you think dumbbells are

(35:43):
the thing that are gonna get youthere, it's not the right girl.
Okay, there is very little, bythe way.
You can't change diapers here.
You have to find another placeto do it.
But there is very little moreattractive to a woman who is
serious about a man than seeinghim love children, seeing him
live a sacrificial life, seeinghim notice other people who are

(36:04):
socially below him and liftingthem up.
That will mean more to her thana hundred reps on a bench.
I promise you that.
And that's the kind of womanyou would want.
But this guy is known.
This way the community looksand they say, hey, girl, we know
you, we know your blind spots,we know your emotions, we know
that sometimes you get a littlebit ahead of yourself.

(36:25):
But this man's respectable.
He's respectable becauseeverybody knows he is.
We know that you're physicallyattracted to him.
We know that you respect andadmire him, and so do we.
So run hard after this kind ofa guy.
One of my favorite things to seehappen at church is
relationships be born becausethey came to church.

(36:46):
It's just this guy who sort ofshows up and somebody doesn't
show up for kids ministry andNatalie's like, hey, could you
swing in and help with thebabies?
And guy's like, all right, yeah, I mean I've never held one,
but whatever, okay, serve theLord.
They say.
So he walks in and he startsholding this baby and he starts
rocking because, for whateverreason, it's knit into us.
And when we hold a baby, we goside to side and there's this 20

(37:11):
year old girl who is alwaysthere.
She's been serving there forsix months and all of a sudden
she goes oh, okay, okay, let'ssee how patient you are Spits up
over him.
He's like, oh, look at this.
And she's like, oh, okay, hestarts holding two.
All of a sudden, the next thing, you know, they go out to tacos
with some folks in like a smallgroup and six months later we
get an invitation to the wedding.

(37:33):
I love that stuff.
This is the kind of stuff thatshould be happening at the
church.
Please add community.
And when you do, let me giveyou the hardest part.
We are called to rejoice withthose who rejoice and to weep
with those who weep, which meanswhen they celebrate their love

(37:56):
some of those young ladies,christians, you should celebrate
love even when others have it.
You need to be celebrating agodly love.
If you do not and this is notjust talking to 18-year-olds or
23-year-olds or 28-year-oldsthat are not dating.
This is talking to people whohave been married for 20 years,

(38:16):
looking at a marriage that seemsbetter than theirs.
You need to celebrate good lovethat is godly, even and
especially if you feel left out.
In the moment.
There is not a one of you thatGod will not fully satisfy if
you will go to him to be fullysatisfied.
The question is how do you getthere?
You're gonna get there seekingthese three things, and I will

(38:39):
promise you this it is notsomething that you deserve from
God, it's not something youdeserve in another and it's not
something that you deserve fromhim.
I'm about to freak y'all out.
I know what time it is.
I hear Stokes playing in thebackground, so don't let this
slide mess you up.
Not about to read the wholething.
How do we get there?

(38:59):
How do we get to a love that'sfull of chemistry, that's based
in character and that'ssurrounded and supported by a
community?
We get there through God's wordand that's surrounded and
supported by a community.
We get there through God's wordand what I would encourage
every husband and every wife,everyone who is single, before
you leave today, I want you topick character, chemistry or
community, and I want you toshare one thing that that person

(39:21):
does well in your relationship.
And then I want you to ask themcan I teach you one thing about
me?
Can I teach you one of thethings that I would love to see
in our relationship?
If you're single, I want you topick one out.
I want you to grow in ityourself and then I want you to
start looking for it in someoneelse.
And all of these things, I knewit was going to happen.
So there you go.

(39:42):
There's the whole list.
Knock yourselves out, buthere's the way to end this
morning.
The way to end this morning isnot just to tease you with what
good love could be.
The best way to end this is byasking a big question at the end
of the service.
I'll put this up, so, if yourphone's still up.
Sorry, bert, although, bert,how long you been married now,

(40:03):
gina?
How long y'all been married?
53, the fact that you're takingyeah, I praise God.
One of the reasons you'remarried 53 in July is because
you're still taking pictures ofthis 53 years.
In the way I would like toclose is by you just looking at
this word.

(40:24):
The community looks at thiswoman and they say it's right
for you to love him.
They look at the relationshipand they say it's right for you
to have him.
They look at the relationshipand they say it's right for you
to have it.
But let me tell you this andwhy I think this book deserves
to be in the Bible.
It is not right for God to loveyou.
Just to be very honest with youyour chemistry is not very
impressive.
Your greatest impression anddelight is so far below God's

(40:46):
standard, your characterlaughable compared to the
character of God.
Your community, that great,deep conversation of prayer that
you have with God that knockshim off his throne because of
how impressive you are, doesn'texist.
He had perfect community in theTrinity.
So the fact that God wants tolove you, that is the most

(41:08):
impressive thing.
Because it is not right for himto do so.
It is grace for him to do so.
It is that God shows his lovefor us in that, while we are
still sinning, christ dies forus.
It is Samuel Crossman, the hymnwriter, saying you wanna know my
song of love?
It's Love Unknown.
How can I know why a God whocreated me, that I rebelled from

(41:32):
, loves me, sends his spirit tobe a part of my life, sends his
son to rescue me, provides thefather's plan for every one of
my days before they come to be.
You want to know what love isto me.
It's this it's love to lovelessthat somehow I would become
lovable Christian.
This is your calling for therest of your life.
It isn love to loveless thatsomehow I would become lovable
Christian.
This is your calling for therest of your life.
It isn't to love lovely things,it's to love unlovely things

(41:55):
and by so doing, make themlovely, which, if you're a
Christian, is exactly what Godis doing with you, and if you
are not, it is his desire to doso.
So let us be a people who,while we are still sinners, draw
near to the one who loves youmore than you could ever imagine
.
That may look like standing andsinging loud and proud.
It might look like walking outthe back, praying and talking

(42:18):
with God.
It might look like coming andtalking with a pastor, but let
this kind of love be somethingyou respond to today, and I look
forward to hanging out with youin the next six weeks as we dig
into some really deep,beautiful, wonderful things.
Church, please stand as werespond to God's word.
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