June 9, 2025 • 45 mins
Can the Church Cure Loneliness? Loneliness is a growing epidemic, but what if the local church holds the cure? In this sermon from 1 Timothy 5:1–16, we explore how God’s design for the family of faith provides an antidote to isolation. Through Paul’s practical wisdom, we learn how respectful relationships, intergenerational care, and purposeful service can transform a disconnected world. Whether you're feeling alone or looking to serve those who are, this message will challenge and equip you to live out the gospel in real, relational ways.
June 8, 2025
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SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
All right, well, if you don't know about Feeding
Hands, they are a wonderfulministry that serves the
disenfranchised.
And in that video, you can seemany of NBC's own people serving
together as a group.
And if that's you, I just wantto say thank you for using your
gifts to serve the Lord and forcaring for the most vulnerable
among us.
If you are interested in servingafter seeing a video like that,
(00:23):
either individually or as afamily, let me know and I can
connect you with the appropriatepeople to get you hooked up with
Feeding Hands.
hands.
Now this morning we'recontinuing our series in 1
Timothy.
We're going to be in 1 Timothychapter 5.
We're looking at verses 1through 16.
1 Timothy 5, 1 through 16.
I invite you to join me there.
And as you're finding thatscripture, I'd like to begin
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with an image.
And that's the image of theredwood tree.
Now if you've ever been to SantaCruz, California or somewhere
around there, you've seen theredwoods.
They are a sight to behold.
The giant redwoods, you can seethe dimensions there with the
people in the pictures, are mademassive, the most massive
individual trees on earth.
In fact, the redwood can grow to270 feet tall, and that's Pretty
(01:09):
tall.
And 25 feet in diameter.
You might think that somethingthat huge has to have an
incredible root system that goesdeep down into the earth to help
them stand that tall.
But with redwoods, that'sactually not the case.
The redwood tree has aremarkably shallow root.
It only goes down about 5 or 10feet deep.
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It seems to violate the laws ofphysics.
That they can stand upright thattall for hundreds, some even
thousands of years.
That is until you know one morefact.
The redwoods actually grow inthese thick groves.
Because their roots are soshallow, they eventually become
intertwined over time and theyfuse together.
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So they start out as anindividual tree, but they become
one with the others as theymature and as they grow.
You might say they grow into afamily of trees.
Beneath the surface, theseincredibly statuesque trees,
their roots are like an army ofmen holding their arms
interlocked and supporting eachother.
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They are preventing theadversaries of life from
knocking each other down.
The redwood trees teach us animportant countercultural lesson
in our world today.
In 21st century Americanculture, we are enamored with
individualism.
We love finding success underour own power.
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We love growing tall in thingslike our careers or our
achievements and having othersnotice.
But the price of our successsometimes is relationships.
Sometimes our families arecasualties of career.
In contrast, the redwood treesshow us the power of
interconnectedness.
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That's to grow tall, excuse me,they need other trees.
If they didn't lock their roots,they would collapse under their
own size.
They would be alone.
And I wonder today if there'sanybody who has felt alone in
this world.
Maybe you're lonely right now.
You're longing for deeperrelationships.
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You long for the roots of theother trees in your life to
interlock.
And you're not the only one whofeels that way.
Loneliness is actually more thana feeling.
In fact, it's been called apublic health crisis.
Several years ago, then-USSurgeon General Vivek Murthy
raised awareness about theAmerican loneliness epidemic and
its serious consequences.
(03:37):
In his 2023 report, Our Epidemicof Loneliness and Isolation,
Murthy highlighted the linksbetween loneliness and increased
risks of things likecardiovascular disease,
dementia, stroke, depression,anxiety, premature death.
Young people were especiallyaffected, with 79% of adults
aged 18 to 24 reportedly feelinglonely, compared with only 41%
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of those 66 and older.
Now, what's the solution?
Well, Murdy suggests we fosterdeeper connections with others
through relationships, service,and community.
To me, that sounds likesomething the church can help
with.
Murty said building community isone of the most important things
we can do for our health and ourwell-being.
(04:23):
That by prioritizing genuineconnections and collective
purpose, we can addressloneliness and its widespread
impact on mental and physicalhealth.
That solution is taking a pagefrom the playbook of the redwood
trees.
In order to survive, they needcommunity.
People who are lonely often needcaring relationships.
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But that then raises anothertension.
Because some might ask, aresolutions to loneliness actually
a gateway to enablement?
Because some of us struggle withsetting boundaries.
How do you respond when theperson you're caring for sends
you long text message threadsthat you have to scroll through
and through and through in themiddle of the night?
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Has that ever happened to you?
Or what do you do when you'veinvested countless hours helping
someone who seems resistant tothe positive changes they need
to make, like going out andmeeting people?
Unless we have appropriateboundaries, we can easily become
overwhelmed, because sometimeshelping may actually be hurting.
Now on the flip side, some of uswho are feeling lonely right now
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struggle with asking forassistance.
We don't want anyone to knowthat we need help or feel alone
in life's challenges.
And we need the humility to askfor help.
Now, does the Bible offer anyguidelines for these caring
relationships?
And the answer to that isthankfully yes.
That is what the Apostle Paulwill teach us in 1 Timothy
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chapter 5.
Now, after spending chapter 4talking about the life of the
pastor, which we covered lastweek, Paul now turns to the
wider church community andteaches about caring And the
question I want to ask today is,can the church cure loneliness?
I believe it can.
I think Paul believed it can.
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And in 1 Timothy 5, 1 to 16,Paul offers four guidelines for
life in God's family.
If we follow those guidelines,we can produce the antidote to
loneliness.
Now, what are they?
What are the guidelines?
Number one, relational respect.
Number two, practical provision.
Number three, esteem yourelders.
And then finally, participatewith purpose.
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And if we follow thoseguidelines, the church can show
the world something different,an antidote So let's pray and
then we'll dive in the text thismorning.
Heavenly Father, we thank you somuch for your goodness, for your
grace, for your mercy.
Lord, I thank you for eachperson who's here.
And Lord, for those that arecoming in this morning that are
feeling lonely, that are feelingdisconnected.
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Father, I pray that even todayyou would move on the hearts of
those in their lives to reachout.
Help us to be people who aresensitive to those who are on
the margins, that we would havea heart for them, and that they
would feel part of the family ofGod that your church is.
Thank you for your word.
May it challenge us today.
We ask that in Jesus' name.
(07:18):
Amen.
Amen.
So a key aspect of curingloneliness in our world is
recapturing relational respect.
Now, we live in a culture thatwrit large does not value
relational respect.
In fact, I might say we live ina culture of disrespect.
That if you just listen to theway people speak to each other
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on things like social media oryour favorite cable news
channel, and then even in reallife, there's a common thread of
tearing people down rather thanbuilding them up.
Now, when it comes to thingslike social media, it's often
been observed that we liveduring the most connected time
in history.
You can go online and find agroup almost anywhere that has
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any kind of shared interest.
And yet, studies tell us thatpeople feel lonelier now than we
were before the advent of socialmedia.
Now, why is that?
Well, I might suggest that manyof the dangers of social media
have outweighed the benefits.
And there are some benefits.
But while connecting peopleacross the world is nice, it's
also detrimental to loserelationships with those in
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close proximity to you.
As such, it's much easier tocriticize people you've never
met in person.
In fact, you may remember thatPaul encourages Timothy with
these words in 1 Timothy 4.12.
He says, Now, we live in a worldthat prizes youth.
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And while youth comes withenergy and vitality and
boldness, it often includes, atleast for a time, immaturity and
arrogance and brashness.
And Paul tells Timothy, don'tlet that be the case with you.
Use your youth as a force forgood.
So he's to set an example in thefollowing areas, the areas of
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speech and conduct and love andfaith and purity.
What a tremendous calling.
Now later in the service today,we're going to recognize our
graduating high school seniors.
And to that I say, oh, to be 18years old again.
But if you are a graduatingsenior, praise God that you are
18 years old because you haveyour life in front of you.
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Use your youth as a force forgood.
Just imagine if you focused onthose five areas for the rest of
your life.
What if you guarded your tongue?
What if you displayed love foryour neighbor and your faith in
Jesus?
What if your conduct producedpurity?
People would see somethingdifferent and be drawn to Jesus
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Christ.
Set an example for those of uswho are old.
Teach us how to speak withrespect.
That'll set you apart.
And now as we enter chapter 5,Paul begins to outline this,
what I'll call intergenerationalrelational respect in the family
of God.
Look at how he begins in verse1.
He says, Wow.
Wow.
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So these verses come on theheels of 1 Timothy 4.12.
There, Paul told Timothy, ayoung man, a young pastor, the
example he should set.
But now you ask, well, how doesthat play out?
And he gives these examples inverses 1 and 2, moving from
older to younger, male tofemale.
So first, in the family of God,treat older men as if they were
your father.
(10:48):
Do not rebuke an older man, hesays.
Now, that's not to say older mennever deserve correction.
In fact, many times we do.
But the ESV actually obscuresthe sharpness of the word.
It actually should read, don'trebuke an older man harshly.
Why?
Because this will communicatedisrespect.
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Correct, but gently in love.
Younger people have anopportunity to do that by
setting an example with theirspeech.
Second, treat younger men asbrothers.
Now, how many of you out therehave younger brothers?
Quite a few of you, I'm sure.
How many of you are youngerbrothers?
Quite a few of you.
It's very easy for the oldersibling to look down on their
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younger brother who can be a bitrowdy.
The clause is a challenge forthe older members of the
congregation.
Don't dismiss younger men.
They are your brothers.
And then third, Paul moves on toolder women and younger women.
They are to be consideredmothers and sisters.
And he adds this importantclause at the end, in all, with
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all purity.
Timothy is to set an example inpurity.
And that's a reminder to set upappropriate guardrails so that
there are no temptations forinappropriate romantic
relationships.
You must respect relationshipswith both older women and
younger women.
So Paul's challenge for us inthese opening verses is this,
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develop respectfulintergenerational relationships.
That is a key component tocuring loneliness.
In our world, it is so easy toget into our age groups and
complain about others.
And then add social media in themix and people use their
platforms to tear other peopledown.
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So the older people start tocomplain about the younger
people and their music choices.
And then the younger peoplecomplain about the older people
and their inflexibility.
And then you get popular memesabout generations like the
boomers and the zoomers, right?
There's probably representativesof each of those in this room.
The baby boom generation, theGen Z generation, they can trade
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barbs at one another throughmemes.
And then you have a generationfollowing Generation Z, my kids'
generation, that's being calledGeneration Alpha.
And I'm sorry, but if you callsomebody part of the alpha
generation, you might be settingthem up for a life of
narcissistic tendencies becausenow they're the alpha.
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But if you go back to theboomers and the zoomers, when
the younger people don't want tohear from the older people,
what's the popular insult?
Okay, boomer.
Now, in other words, you don'tknow what you're talking about.
And then the boomers look at thezoomers and they say, well, you
don't know what you're talkingabout, young one.
And then the Gen X andMillennials, will they start in
the action as well?
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Do any of these conversationscommunicate respect?
But what if we came today withrespect and listened and learned
from one another?
Now here at NBC, we try to modelthis in a number of ways, and
I'll give you a few examples.
First, we have our radicalmentoring program, which is a
wonderful example of this on theground.
Older men like Bruce Cork areinvesting in younger men as they
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draw closer to the Lord.
And when I speak with thosewho've gone through the program,
they say everybody benefits.
Second, we just had a men'sministry breakfast yesterday.
It was packed house.
Tons of people out for that.
Older men and younger men comingtogether to sharpen one another
through respectfulrelationships.
Wonderful talks on how God caresfor the orphans that ties in
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with some of our later themestoday.
Third, our women's ministrypursues the same goal.
Whether you participate in theTuesday Bible studies, at
special events like retreats,younger women are together with
older women.
They want to develop deep,respectful relationships.
And then fourth, as Tim wastalking about before, I see
people of all ages in our teensand our kids' ministry programs
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serving.
It is so beautiful to see olderseasoned saints investing in the
next generation.
In the future, we're talkingabout another opportunity.
We'd like to develop aprofessional mentoring program
that allows experiencedChristians to invest in those
who might be going into the sameline of work.
And if you're interested inthat, you can talk to me and
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I'll get you on the list forwhen that comes.
But again, the question is, canthe church cure loneliness?
Because when we developrelational respect in God's
family, I believe we can.
So this week, I encourage you totalk with somebody of a
different generation.
Listen to them respectfully andsee what God can teach you.
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Our practical way to cureloneliness is to build these
bridges by showing respect.
And in that area, the church canstand out.
But once we build a relationshipof respect, we take the next
step, and that is to move on topractical provision.
Practical provision.
Now, beginning in verse 3, Pauloffers a practical way the
church is called to help thosewho are lonely and hurting.
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And he offers an extendedtreatment on how to care for
widows.
Well, this is the example.
The principle centers on caringfor the most vulnerable among
us, especially in our ownfamily.
So here's the picture he'sgiving.
You may remember a few monthsago, there was an earthquake at
the San Diego Zoo.
And while this was not...
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an uncommon event in SouthernCalifornia, one moment went
viral on social media where theelephants at the zoo, who have
the ability to feel soundthrough their feet, sensed the
danger.
And what was their firstreaction?
Those older, stronger elephantswould circle around the younger,
smaller, more vulnerableelephants to protect them.
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And that's a picture of how weshould care for the more
vulnerable in the church family.
We circle around the the morevulnerable to protect and care
for them.
And a very practical example iswidows.
So Paul writes this in versethree.
He says, honor widows who aretruly widows.
Now I want you to notice there'stwo clauses here.
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The first is a command, honorwidows.
And that's in the Greek, that'san imperative.
It's a command.
The fact that Paul addressesthis topic and then spends 12
verses saying, Actually, apretty good portion of the
letter talking about thisexample means it was an issue in
his time in the Ephesian church.
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And a widow, if you don't know,is a woman whose husband has
died and she has not remarried.
Now, the word honor meant togive them what they are due,
particularly as it related tofinances.
Because in the first centuryworld, the husband was the one
who earned the money.
Widows in the ancient world hadreally very few options to earn
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money and resources, and theyneeded help.
Now, this word for honor canalso be used of honoring the
gods, which shows up in the nextverse where Paul makes this a
matter of religious duty.
Second, the qualification, thosewho are truly widows, might seem
a little perplexing because yousay, well, isn't it clear?
What does he mean here?
Isn't it clear who the widowsare?
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The phrase means the widows whoare really in need.
In other words, this applies towidows who have no family to
care for them.
Then the church must step in tohelp.
And this introduces an importantprinciple.
And that is this.
Family are the first responders.
Family are the first responders.
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So your family is a mini church.
That before the church wasformed, there was the family.
And it serves as a picture ofGod's family.
You must care for your familyfirst.
Now, Paul continues in this linein verse 4.
He says, But if a widow haschildren or grandchildren, let
them first learn to showgodliness to their own household
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and to make some return to theirparents, for this is pleasing in
the sight of God.
Now, notice the importantprinciples outlined here.
Children and grandchildren arecalled to provide practical
provision for their parents andgrandparents who may be widows
first.
or widowers in our time.
Now, what are they called to do?
Show godliness to their ownhousehold and make a return to
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their parents.
Now, if you do this, he says,God is pleased.
Now, again, the word honor, thatwas in verse 3, echoes the fifth
commandment.
Honor your father and mother.
And that command, of course, youmay remember, has a
qualification with it.
Honor your father and motherthat it may go well with you.
Paul even mentions that inEphesians 6, verse 3.
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Now, why are widows mentionedhere and not the men?
Well, a little culturalbackground again would be
helpful.
In the Greco-Roman world of thefirst century, men again were
the ones who made most of thefinancial provisions for the
family.
And as such, women whosehusbands died could find
themselves in a precariousposition with no means of
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support, especially if thechildren would not help.
And this was the background forthe first deacons that we talked
about a few weeks ago in Actschapter 6.
In the ancient world, widowswere particularly vulnerable to
exploitation.
Jesus himself picked up on this.
He recognized and denounced thereligious leaders who he says
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devoured widows' houses in Lukechapter 20.
Women who were really in needwere lacking support from their
relatives.
They needed the help of thechurch.
Paul seems to be challenginghere both individual Christians,
take care of your family, andalso the church.
Take care of those who don'thave a family.
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So Paul now offersqualifications for helping
widows in verses 5 and 6, andlater as well.
He writes this in verse 5.
He says, But she who isself-indulgent is dead even
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while she lives.
Command these things as well sothat they may be without
reproach.
So he makes clear again herethat the widow the church
supports is the one the familycannot or will not help.
She is the one left all alone.
She is trusting in the Lord.
And the church should step in.
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In fact, I would add, we shouldbe especially mindful of widows
who are in need, even more so ifthey have children.
Now, some of you might know myown personal story, and if you
don't, I'll share that.
I grew up in a wonderful familywho loved the Lord.
My mother and father werewonderful people who loved each
other and did the best theycould to raise my sister and I.
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But my father passed awaysuddenly and unexpectedly when I
was 10 years old.
My sister was 6.
And at a young age, my motherbecame a widow and had to raise
two children on her own.
And if you want to talk aboutloneliness, there is no starker
picture than becoming a widowwith young kids.
And if you're in that similarsituation, you understand what
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that feels like.
You feel desperately alone andoverwhelmed.
Now, we did have some familyresources that came alongside
us, but imagine havingabsolutely no one.
In that moment, the church...
Amen.
Amen.
Amen.
Amen.
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Care for orphans and widowsreceives sizable attention
throughout the Old and NewTestament.
Most notable is how God isdescribed in Psalm 68, 5, where
he is the father of thefatherless and the protector of
widows is God in his holyhabitation.
God is a protector of widows.
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And if God is a protector ofwidows, should not his church do
the same as a reflection of hischaracter?
Additionally, Jesus himselfcared about widows by citing
them in his parables, Luke 18,the parable of the persistent
widow, and highlighting theirfaith like the widow's might in
Luke 21.
Now, why is God's heart inparticular drawn to widows and
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orphans?
Why do they get so much of hisattention in Scripture?
Because they are among the mostvulnerable classes of people,
especially in the ancient world.
They have experienced theeffects of the fall in a very
tangible way, and God's heart isdrawn to the vulnerable.
Never forget that.
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Now, while widows are Paul'scase study in this section, the
general principle is this.
Prioritize care for thevulnerable.
Some of the most vulnerableamong us today are those who
experience disabilities.
As individuals and as a church,we should always be seeking how
we can care for those in need,especially the disabled and
marginalized in this world.
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They are among the most lonelyout there.
Do you remember that video weshowed at the beginning of
Feeding Hands?
That ministry focuses on thevulnerable in society.
I guarantee you, widows andorphans are showing up at their
door needing help.
God cares about them.
But Paul says not all widows aretruly widows.
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And he gives an interestingqualification in verse 6.
He says, she who isself-indulgent is dead even
while she lives.
Now, what in the world does thatmean, you say?
Well, the phrase has the meaningof living for sensual pleasure
because apparently this was aproblem for some younger widows
of Paul's day.
Because of their licentiousliving, he says they're
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considered spiritually dead.
And that's the background forPaul's age qualification in
verse 9, which we'll get to.
But he drives home the call totake care of your own family in
verse 8.
He writes this.
He says, Now, here again, wefind the principle of this
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section.
Family are first responders.
You are called to practicalprovision for your family.
The clause at the end is meantto highlight the seriousness of
this call.
If you don't provide, you'vedenied the faith.
In fact, even unbelieversunderstand the need to provide
for their families.
Now, that's not to say that, assome teach, that the man has to
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earn all the money in thehousehold.
His wife may certainly work ifshe's willing and able to help
provide.
But as the head of thehousehold, the father bears the
responsibility for his family'swell-being.
And in this context, there is acalling to care for widows
within your family.
Family are first responders.
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Providing practical provisionhelps to end loneliness because
the person in need knows youcare for them.
Now, before we leave this point,let me highlight a practical
need that surfaces often in ourfamilies, and that's the issue
of aging parents.
A passage like this speaksdirectly to that situation.
And I know for many that canplace a strain on your schedule,
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your home life, your finances.
In fact, many of you might bewalking through that right now.
It can be a challenge whenpeople are in need of care
constantly.
And yet the call of this sectionis to care for those who are in
need in our family.
By doing so, you are showingyour faith in the God who
provides for our needs evenbefore we ask.
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It can be overwhelming.
But if that's the case, thechurch may be able to come
alongside.
So let me just speak for amoment to the widows and the
widowers in the audience rightnow.
It does not escape me that apassage like this speaks
directly to you.
And as a church, we want you toknow that we see you and we want
to help.
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And if you have needs, talk tome, talk to Pastor Dave, talk to
a member of our care team or ourelders.
The church's desire andresponsibility is to come
alongside in your time of need.
Don't be afraid to ask.
Can the church cure loneliness?
Not only can it, I think itshould.
We should provide a place forthose who feel all alone.
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We should support those in needphysically and spiritually.
That's a challenge for usindividually and as a church
body.
And we do this by fosteringrespectful relationships through
practical provision.
But third, Paul now turns to theissue of age.
He tells us, esteem your elders.
Esteem your elders.
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Now, if you've not had a chanceto visit our senior ministry,
senior lunch recently, it isbooming.
In fact, thank you to folks likeDave and Mary Palmer who lead
that ministry, have led thatministry recently.
Thank you for everybody whoserves that ministry to help it
be a success.
Some months we have standingroom only.
And that's a hugely importantministry because as more people
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move into retirement, intoretirement communities around
us, our seniors are a bigmission field.
We need to show respect to ourseniors.
We need our seniors.
Now this is challenging becauseyou may feel and know that our
American culture idolizes youth.
Does anybody else feel that?
It's not as big a problem inother cultures because they
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esteem their elders better thanwe do.
In other cultures, it's actuallythe opposite of American
culture.
Have you seen the Disney movieEncanto?
Who runs the family and garnersthe respect in that movie?
Abuela, grandma.
Age and experience is somethingto be attained to.
But in America, people arealways trying to look younger,
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stay younger, dress younger.
How much money do we spendtrying to look younger than we
actually are?
Advertisers want young peoplehooked on their products.
Politicians are trying tocapture the youth vote.
At some point, you just need toact your age.
And this is a problem that'sfelt outside the church.
In fact, in a New York Timesarticle, recently actress
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Frances McDormand spoke outagainst what she calls Hollywood
and America's perverse fixationon youth.
She said this.
She said, Adulthood is not agoal.
It's not seen as a gift.
Something happened culturally.
No one's expected to age past 45in terms of dress and cosmetics
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and attitudes.
Everybody dresses like ateenager.
Everybody dyes their hair.
Everybody's concerned about asmooth face.
Nobody wants to be an adult.
Well, let me just suggest weneed more adults.
We need more people with lifeexperience who can offer wisdom.
But if you are a senior...
Paul now offers you a challenge.
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He writes this in verse 9.
He says, Now, notice here thatPaul offers further
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qualifications for supportingwidows, and the first one has to
do with age.
Now, you might say, why?
Why is 60 the cutoff here?
Some of you are saying 60 isyoung, right?
Well, in Roman society, age 60at that time was thought to be
the cutoff for widows toremarry.
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Or if you were under age 60, youcould potentially work.
In other words, if you wereunder 60, you could fend for
yourself or you could findanother husband.
So the age requirement was anissue of qualification.
The church had limited resourcesand wanted to steward them well.
They wanted to help those whoreally needed it.
needed it.
Now, what's interesting is thatPaul offers some more
(30:52):
qualifications that sound kindof like the deacons we read
about in chapter 3.
The widow should be a one-manwoman, the wife of one husband.
Her life should be marked byfidelity in her marriage.
Her reputation should be one ofgood works.
What are those good works?
Well, she's raising a family.
She's hospitable.
(31:13):
She's washing the feet ofsaints, which was an ancient
custom of showing honor.
She helped those in need.
And then in verse 10, he gives asummary.
She devotes herself to good workand good deeds.
Now, you might be asking, well,why is there such a long list of
qualifications for these widows?
And again, I think Paul'soffering a type of policy of who
(31:35):
should be prioritized in supportsince the church has limited
resources.
Now, here at NBC, we have manywidows who served our church
well.
I think of Linda Kubler, whoserves tirelessly in our
hospitality ministry.
In fact, if you ever see flowerson the stage, that's Linda's
work.
I think of Barbara Zellman,who's since passed on, but she
(31:56):
served our church for decades,teaching the scriptures and
loving on people.
Betty Gallagher's turning 100next month and she's here
worshiping Jesus to the end.
These are models of good works.
But these two verses offer achallenge to us in our senior
years.
I think what Paul is saying ispursue godly character to the
(32:17):
end.
Don't retire from serving.
And I will say again, we have somany people here at MBC who have
run the race well.
You are worthy of honor andrespect and keep going.
That as long as you're drawingbreath, God is going to use you.
And here at NBC, we need you.
We need your wisdom.
We need your heart for God'schurch.
(32:38):
We need your voice.
We have so many people who havebeen here serving faithfully for
decades through pastoralchanges, through church
conflicts, through buildingpurchases and repairs.
You have remained faithful.
Think of people like MarkMelillo and Linda Rigdon and
Linda Clark who have taught our5th and 6th graders for decades.
(32:59):
Jim and Jerry Romaine, whoserved NBC in more ways than I
can count, from missions tolittle footprints to Stephen
ministry, thank you for yoursacrifice.
Thank you for allowing us tostand on your shoulders.
And at the same time, I wouldchallenge all of us, may the
characteristics of 1 Timothy 5,9, and 10 describe you to the
(33:20):
end.
Author Paul Tripp writes thisconvicting question in his
devotional Everyday Gospel.
He says, At the end of yourlife, will you ask God to
remember all you have done inHis name?
Or will you hope He forgets thelife you have lived?
A life well lived is a lifelived for the glory and kingdom
(33:40):
of God.
Is that what you're living for?
Can the church cure loneliness?
Yes.
But there's one more guidelinebefore we finish.
(34:03):
One more guideline.
Paul now turns to the youngerwidows and challenges them.
Participate with purpose.
Participate with purpose.
Now, verse 9 and 10 serve as aguideline for the type of widow
the church should support, butthey also serve as an example
for younger widows to follow.
And Paul has some seeminglysharp words for younger widows
(34:26):
in the final verses of thischapter.
He writes this in verse 11.
He says, And you say, whoa,whoa, whoa, Paul.
Hold up here, Paul.
(34:47):
What do you have against theyounger widows, right?
Don't they deserve help as well?
And I know at face value in theEnglish, that verse sounds
harsh.
But there's more to hisreasoning here.
It was common for enrolledwidows in the care of the church
to take a pledge of singleness.
That's that word faith at theend, the Greek word pistis.
(35:09):
That's what he's kind ofreferring to is this pledge that
they're taking in this context.
And it's most likely that Paulthought the younger widows who
could remarry should not bebound by this pledge because his
concern was that they would notbe able to keep this oath of
singleness and would marryanyway.
Possibly to an unbeliever, andthey would be bringing judgment
(35:31):
on themselves and be walkingaway from Jesus.
Now, Paul highlights moreconcerns in verses 13 to 15.
He writes this,"...beside that,they learned to be idlers, going
about from house to house, andnot only idlers, but also
gossips and busybodies, sayingwhat they should not." Paul is
(35:55):
very concerned about peoplegoing after the devil in this
letter.
His concern in verse 13 is thatyounger widows would not be able
to concentrate on responsibleservice.
That they would get distractedby worldly concerns.
(36:17):
They would be idols andgossipers and busybodies.
Now, the idea of gossip righthere conveys a meaning of speech
similar to how Paul's beendescribing the false teachers in
this letter, which has been amajor theme.
In fact, it might mean thatthese women have been won over
by the false teachers andalready abandoned the true
gospel.
In fact, he says in verse 15,some have already strayed after
(36:41):
Satan.
They're outside the faith.
The point is there is a lack ofproductive service to the
kingdom.
Now, do you know anybody in yourlife who's been caught up with
false teaching?
Do you know anyone who hasgotten into a relationship that
has taken them away from theLord?
Romantic relationships are apowerful thing.
(37:02):
And if you get involved withsomebody who doesn't love Jesus,
you can easily stray from thefaith.
And so let me say this, both tothe young ladies and young men,
romantic relationships do notdefine you.
Never allow a romanticrelationship to become more
important than Jesus himself.
And certainly do not get caughtwith a non-believer who takes
(37:22):
you away from Christ.
Author Thaddeus Williams notesthat romantic love can easily
become an idol in our lives.
He writes this in his book,Reflect.
He says, is it possible to makean idol or even a whole religion
out of romantic love?
He says, consider these linesfrom popular songs.
(37:44):
I'm going to build my wholeworld around you.
You're all that matters.
The temptations back in the 60s.
If you believe in each other,there's nothing we can't do.
That's Celine Dion.
You're my religion.
You're my church.
You're my holy grail at the endof my search.
That's Sting.
She tells me, worship in thebedroom.
(38:05):
The only heaven I'll be sent iswhen I'm alone with you.
That's Hozier.
And just to be clear, that lastsong is not about church.
Paul was concerned thatsomething or someone would take
the place of Jesus in the livesof these young widows.
It would influence their actionsand they would not become the
(38:27):
type of widow the church couldsupport with their limited
resources.
And that's why he talks aboutthe character of the older
widows in verses 9 and 10 first.
That this is something the youngwidow should aspire toward.
By the way, not just thosewidows, but all of us should
aspire toward those characters.
And then in verse 14, Pauloffers a solution.
He says, raise your family inthe Lord.
(38:49):
And as anybody who has childrenknows, they keep you busy.
There's much less time to getyourself in trouble with worldly
affairs when you're chasingafter your kids and trying to
teach them about Jesus.
And I would highlight yourfamily is your first mission
field.
Raise your children to know andlove Jesus.
That is building the kingdom ofGod here on earth.
(39:12):
This is a way to participate inthe kingdom of God with purpose.
Paul returns to the widows forone final thought in verse 16.
He says, So Paul offers thisfinal call to participate with
(39:37):
purpose in caring for the widowswho truly need it.
Now, earlier in verse 8, Pauloffered a challenge to the men
to care for those in theirhousehold.
Make sure you provide for yourfamily.
But in verse 16 now, he speaksspecifically to the women, the
daughters and thedaughter-in-laws.
Take care of the widows in yourfamily.
Why?
Because the church has limitedresources, and they need to be
(40:00):
directed to those who don't haverelatives to step in.
Now, you might be asking, whatdoes this all mean for me?
How does this apply?
I mean, I'm not a widow.
I don't know, widows.
Well, there's three keyprinciples from this passage I
would want you to take away.
Three principles that shouldguide you individually and us
(40:20):
corporately as we think aboutour caring ministries and our
caring actions.
This passage captures theessence of benevolence ministry
for the Christian.
Benevolence simply means toperform kind and charitable acts
to give generously.
First, When it comes to care,family are the first responders.
(40:41):
Now, what does that look likefor you?
I want to challenge youindividually to think about
benevolence.
Are there ways you need toprovide for your family now?
Are there future preparationsyou need to make to care for
your parents and grandparents?
God puts us in families andgives responsibilities to us to
care for them, so take some timeto plan.
(41:02):
If there are needs down theroad, planning can make a big
difference.
It can help your loved one feelcared for and not alone.
By being proactive, you areparticipating in God's ministry
of care with purpose.
And there's a beauty in thesacred duty to care for your
parents who once cared for you.
Second, the church is the secondline safety net.
(41:24):
In other words, we can't helpeveryone, so we need to care for
the people when their relativescannot help.
Now, at NBC, we have twomonetary funds that serve in
this capacity.
First, we have an encouragementfund, which focuses on smaller
gifts to help people with thingslike groceries or let them know
we're thinking about them, andgenerally, those gifts are$500
(41:44):
or less.
Second, we do have a benevolencefund to assist with larger
needs, and much like Pauloutlined his process here for
choosing widows to support, wedo have a benevolence team and
an application to assess widowswho we will help.
If you're in need of assistance,you can contact Gary Isler, who
heads up that team.
(42:06):
And then finally, Paul calls usto prioritize care for the most
vulnerable among us.
And in this passage, widows arethe case study.
But there are more marginalizedpeople.
Ask yourself this week, arethere vulnerable people I can
help?
Are there ministries that servethe vulnerable I can support?
(42:27):
All of our local partnerministries, including Feeding
Hands, help the vulnerable.
First Choice protects theunborn.
Young Lives helps teenage moms.
City Relief helps the unhoused.
Market Street Mission ministersto those in addiction.
A ministry like Johnny andFriends cares for the disabled.
How can you prioritize thevulnerable?
(42:49):
And when you do, ministry to thelonely will come center stage.
So can the church cureloneliness?
Yes.
Yes.
Yes, it can.
If we follow God's guidelinesfor the family, respectful
relationships, practicalprovision, esteeming your
elders, and participating withpurpose.
(43:09):
And by living that out, webecome the hands and feet of
Jesus to those we love.
I'm going to invite the worshipteam to come back for one final
song.
And as they come, I want tooffer an illustration, a final
illustration that highlights,again, our need for human
connection.
And to do that, I'll call onCaptain Kirk himself.
(43:31):
In William Shatner's new book,Boldly Go, Reflections on a Life
of Awe and Wonder, the Star Trekactor reflects on his voyage
into space on Jeff Bezos' BlueOrigin space shuttle in October
of 2021.
Then 90 years old, imagine 90years old, Shatner became the
oldest living person to travelinto space.
(43:53):
But as the actor and authordetails, He was surprised by his
own reaction to the experience.
He wrote this.
He said, And he writes this, Ihad a different experience
(44:27):
because I discovered that thebeauty isn't out there, it's
down here with all of us.
Leaving that behind made myconnection to our tiny planet
even more profound.
Can the church cure loneliness?
If we follow Paul's guidelinesfor relational respect,
practical provision, esteemingour elders, and participating
(44:49):
with purpose, we can.
Let's pray.
Heavenly Father, we thank you somuch for your word.
We thank you for the challengeit gives us to be generous, to
care for those in our sphere ofinfluence.
And Lord, I pray for those inthe audience today who are
lonely, those that needprovision.
Lord, I pray that you would helpthem to know that you see them.
(45:12):
Like Hagar in the desert, Lord,you see them.
You are the God who sees.
And I pray that right now youwould minister to them where
they are.
I pray that you would move onfolks in their family, folks in
the church, Lord.
to help in times of need.
But as always, help us toremember, Lord, that you
provided for us by sending yourson, Jesus Christ, to die on the
cross so we could be adoptedinto your family.
(45:35):
And there is nothing impossiblewith you, Lord.
May you meet us where we are andhelp us.
And may we have trust in you forthat, in Jesus' name.
Amen.
All right, well, if you don't know about Feeding
Hands, they are a wonderfulministry that serves the
disenfranchised.
And in that video, you can seemany of NBC's own people serving
together as a group.
And if that's you, I just wantto say thank you for using your
gifts to serve the Lord and forcaring for the most vulnerable
among us.
If you are interested in servingafter seeing a video like that,
(00:23):
either individually or as afamily, let me know and I can
connect you with the appropriatepeople to get you hooked up with
Feeding Hands.
hands.
Now this morning we'recontinuing our series in 1
Timothy.
We're going to be in 1 Timothychapter 5.
We're looking at verses 1through 16.
1 Timothy 5, 1 through 16.
I invite you to join me there.
And as you're finding thatscripture, I'd like to begin
(00:45):
with an image.
And that's the image of theredwood tree.
Now if you've ever been to SantaCruz, California or somewhere
around there, you've seen theredwoods.
They are a sight to behold.
The giant redwoods, you can seethe dimensions there with the
people in the pictures, are mademassive, the most massive
individual trees on earth.
In fact, the redwood can grow to270 feet tall, and that's Pretty
(01:09):
tall.
And 25 feet in diameter.
You might think that somethingthat huge has to have an
incredible root system that goesdeep down into the earth to help
them stand that tall.
But with redwoods, that'sactually not the case.
The redwood tree has aremarkably shallow root.
It only goes down about 5 or 10feet deep.
(01:31):
It seems to violate the laws ofphysics.
That they can stand upright thattall for hundreds, some even
thousands of years.
That is until you know one morefact.
The redwoods actually grow inthese thick groves.
Because their roots are soshallow, they eventually become
intertwined over time and theyfuse together.
(01:52):
So they start out as anindividual tree, but they become
one with the others as theymature and as they grow.
You might say they grow into afamily of trees.
Beneath the surface, theseincredibly statuesque trees,
their roots are like an army ofmen holding their arms
interlocked and supporting eachother.
(02:13):
They are preventing theadversaries of life from
knocking each other down.
The redwood trees teach us animportant countercultural lesson
in our world today.
In 21st century Americanculture, we are enamored with
individualism.
We love finding success underour own power.
(02:33):
We love growing tall in thingslike our careers or our
achievements and having othersnotice.
But the price of our successsometimes is relationships.
Sometimes our families arecasualties of career.
In contrast, the redwood treesshow us the power of
interconnectedness.
(02:54):
That's to grow tall, excuse me,they need other trees.
If they didn't lock their roots,they would collapse under their
own size.
They would be alone.
And I wonder today if there'sanybody who has felt alone in
this world.
Maybe you're lonely right now.
You're longing for deeperrelationships.
(03:15):
You long for the roots of theother trees in your life to
interlock.
And you're not the only one whofeels that way.
Loneliness is actually more thana feeling.
In fact, it's been called apublic health crisis.
Several years ago, then-USSurgeon General Vivek Murthy
raised awareness about theAmerican loneliness epidemic and
its serious consequences.
(03:37):
In his 2023 report, Our Epidemicof Loneliness and Isolation,
Murthy highlighted the linksbetween loneliness and increased
risks of things likecardiovascular disease,
dementia, stroke, depression,anxiety, premature death.
Young people were especiallyaffected, with 79% of adults
aged 18 to 24 reportedly feelinglonely, compared with only 41%
(04:02):
of those 66 and older.
Now, what's the solution?
Well, Murdy suggests we fosterdeeper connections with others
through relationships, service,and community.
To me, that sounds likesomething the church can help
with.
Murty said building community isone of the most important things
we can do for our health and ourwell-being.
(04:23):
That by prioritizing genuineconnections and collective
purpose, we can addressloneliness and its widespread
impact on mental and physicalhealth.
That solution is taking a pagefrom the playbook of the redwood
trees.
In order to survive, they needcommunity.
People who are lonely often needcaring relationships.
(04:46):
But that then raises anothertension.
Because some might ask, aresolutions to loneliness actually
a gateway to enablement?
Because some of us struggle withsetting boundaries.
How do you respond when theperson you're caring for sends
you long text message threadsthat you have to scroll through
and through and through in themiddle of the night?
(05:07):
Has that ever happened to you?
Or what do you do when you'veinvested countless hours helping
someone who seems resistant tothe positive changes they need
to make, like going out andmeeting people?
Unless we have appropriateboundaries, we can easily become
overwhelmed, because sometimeshelping may actually be hurting.
Now on the flip side, some of uswho are feeling lonely right now
(05:30):
struggle with asking forassistance.
We don't want anyone to knowthat we need help or feel alone
in life's challenges.
And we need the humility to askfor help.
Now, does the Bible offer anyguidelines for these caring
relationships?
And the answer to that isthankfully yes.
That is what the Apostle Paulwill teach us in 1 Timothy
(05:52):
chapter 5.
Now, after spending chapter 4talking about the life of the
pastor, which we covered lastweek, Paul now turns to the
wider church community andteaches about caring And the
question I want to ask today is,can the church cure loneliness?
I believe it can.
I think Paul believed it can.
(06:14):
And in 1 Timothy 5, 1 to 16,Paul offers four guidelines for
life in God's family.
If we follow those guidelines,we can produce the antidote to
loneliness.
Now, what are they?
What are the guidelines?
Number one, relational respect.
Number two, practical provision.
Number three, esteem yourelders.
And then finally, participatewith purpose.
(06:37):
And if we follow thoseguidelines, the church can show
the world something different,an antidote So let's pray and
then we'll dive in the text thismorning.
Heavenly Father, we thank you somuch for your goodness, for your
grace, for your mercy.
Lord, I thank you for eachperson who's here.
And Lord, for those that arecoming in this morning that are
feeling lonely, that are feelingdisconnected.
(06:58):
Father, I pray that even todayyou would move on the hearts of
those in their lives to reachout.
Help us to be people who aresensitive to those who are on
the margins, that we would havea heart for them, and that they
would feel part of the family ofGod that your church is.
Thank you for your word.
May it challenge us today.
We ask that in Jesus' name.
(07:18):
Amen.
Amen.
So a key aspect of curingloneliness in our world is
recapturing relational respect.
Now, we live in a culture thatwrit large does not value
relational respect.
In fact, I might say we live ina culture of disrespect.
That if you just listen to theway people speak to each other
(07:39):
on things like social media oryour favorite cable news
channel, and then even in reallife, there's a common thread of
tearing people down rather thanbuilding them up.
Now, when it comes to thingslike social media, it's often
been observed that we liveduring the most connected time
in history.
You can go online and find agroup almost anywhere that has
(08:00):
any kind of shared interest.
And yet, studies tell us thatpeople feel lonelier now than we
were before the advent of socialmedia.
Now, why is that?
Well, I might suggest that manyof the dangers of social media
have outweighed the benefits.
And there are some benefits.
But while connecting peopleacross the world is nice, it's
also detrimental to loserelationships with those in
(08:23):
close proximity to you.
As such, it's much easier tocriticize people you've never
met in person.
In fact, you may remember thatPaul encourages Timothy with
these words in 1 Timothy 4.12.
He says, Now, we live in a worldthat prizes youth.
(08:51):
And while youth comes withenergy and vitality and
boldness, it often includes, atleast for a time, immaturity and
arrogance and brashness.
And Paul tells Timothy, don'tlet that be the case with you.
Use your youth as a force forgood.
So he's to set an example in thefollowing areas, the areas of
(09:11):
speech and conduct and love andfaith and purity.
What a tremendous calling.
Now later in the service today,we're going to recognize our
graduating high school seniors.
And to that I say, oh, to be 18years old again.
But if you are a graduatingsenior, praise God that you are
18 years old because you haveyour life in front of you.
(09:32):
Use your youth as a force forgood.
Just imagine if you focused onthose five areas for the rest of
your life.
What if you guarded your tongue?
What if you displayed love foryour neighbor and your faith in
Jesus?
What if your conduct producedpurity?
People would see somethingdifferent and be drawn to Jesus
(09:54):
Christ.
Set an example for those of uswho are old.
Teach us how to speak withrespect.
That'll set you apart.
And now as we enter chapter 5,Paul begins to outline this,
what I'll call intergenerationalrelational respect in the family
of God.
Look at how he begins in verse1.
He says, Wow.
Wow.
(10:26):
So these verses come on theheels of 1 Timothy 4.12.
There, Paul told Timothy, ayoung man, a young pastor, the
example he should set.
But now you ask, well, how doesthat play out?
And he gives these examples inverses 1 and 2, moving from
older to younger, male tofemale.
So first, in the family of God,treat older men as if they were
your father.
(10:48):
Do not rebuke an older man, hesays.
Now, that's not to say older mennever deserve correction.
In fact, many times we do.
But the ESV actually obscuresthe sharpness of the word.
It actually should read, don'trebuke an older man harshly.
Why?
Because this will communicatedisrespect.
(11:09):
Correct, but gently in love.
Younger people have anopportunity to do that by
setting an example with theirspeech.
Second, treat younger men asbrothers.
Now, how many of you out therehave younger brothers?
Quite a few of you, I'm sure.
How many of you are youngerbrothers?
Quite a few of you.
It's very easy for the oldersibling to look down on their
(11:32):
younger brother who can be a bitrowdy.
The clause is a challenge forthe older members of the
congregation.
Don't dismiss younger men.
They are your brothers.
And then third, Paul moves on toolder women and younger women.
They are to be consideredmothers and sisters.
And he adds this importantclause at the end, in all, with
(11:52):
all purity.
Timothy is to set an example inpurity.
And that's a reminder to set upappropriate guardrails so that
there are no temptations forinappropriate romantic
relationships.
You must respect relationshipswith both older women and
younger women.
So Paul's challenge for us inthese opening verses is this,
(12:13):
develop respectfulintergenerational relationships.
That is a key component tocuring loneliness.
In our world, it is so easy toget into our age groups and
complain about others.
And then add social media in themix and people use their
platforms to tear other peopledown.
(12:33):
So the older people start tocomplain about the younger
people and their music choices.
And then the younger peoplecomplain about the older people
and their inflexibility.
And then you get popular memesabout generations like the
boomers and the zoomers, right?
There's probably representativesof each of those in this room.
The baby boom generation, theGen Z generation, they can trade
(12:54):
barbs at one another throughmemes.
And then you have a generationfollowing Generation Z, my kids'
generation, that's being calledGeneration Alpha.
And I'm sorry, but if you callsomebody part of the alpha
generation, you might be settingthem up for a life of
narcissistic tendencies becausenow they're the alpha.
(13:15):
But if you go back to theboomers and the zoomers, when
the younger people don't want tohear from the older people,
what's the popular insult?
Okay, boomer.
Now, in other words, you don'tknow what you're talking about.
And then the boomers look at thezoomers and they say, well, you
don't know what you're talkingabout, young one.
And then the Gen X andMillennials, will they start in
the action as well?
(13:36):
Do any of these conversationscommunicate respect?
But what if we came today withrespect and listened and learned
from one another?
Now here at NBC, we try to modelthis in a number of ways, and
I'll give you a few examples.
First, we have our radicalmentoring program, which is a
wonderful example of this on theground.
Older men like Bruce Cork areinvesting in younger men as they
(14:00):
draw closer to the Lord.
And when I speak with thosewho've gone through the program,
they say everybody benefits.
Second, we just had a men'sministry breakfast yesterday.
It was packed house.
Tons of people out for that.
Older men and younger men comingtogether to sharpen one another
through respectfulrelationships.
Wonderful talks on how God caresfor the orphans that ties in
(14:21):
with some of our later themestoday.
Third, our women's ministrypursues the same goal.
Whether you participate in theTuesday Bible studies, at
special events like retreats,younger women are together with
older women.
They want to develop deep,respectful relationships.
And then fourth, as Tim wastalking about before, I see
people of all ages in our teensand our kids' ministry programs
(14:44):
serving.
It is so beautiful to see olderseasoned saints investing in the
next generation.
In the future, we're talkingabout another opportunity.
We'd like to develop aprofessional mentoring program
that allows experiencedChristians to invest in those
who might be going into the sameline of work.
And if you're interested inthat, you can talk to me and
(15:05):
I'll get you on the list forwhen that comes.
But again, the question is, canthe church cure loneliness?
Because when we developrelational respect in God's
family, I believe we can.
So this week, I encourage you totalk with somebody of a
different generation.
Listen to them respectfully andsee what God can teach you.
(15:26):
Our practical way to cureloneliness is to build these
bridges by showing respect.
And in that area, the church canstand out.
But once we build a relationshipof respect, we take the next
step, and that is to move on topractical provision.
Practical provision.
Now, beginning in verse 3, Pauloffers a practical way the
church is called to help thosewho are lonely and hurting.
(15:49):
And he offers an extendedtreatment on how to care for
widows.
Well, this is the example.
The principle centers on caringfor the most vulnerable among
us, especially in our ownfamily.
So here's the picture he'sgiving.
You may remember a few monthsago, there was an earthquake at
the San Diego Zoo.
And while this was not...
(16:10):
an uncommon event in SouthernCalifornia, one moment went
viral on social media where theelephants at the zoo, who have
the ability to feel soundthrough their feet, sensed the
danger.
And what was their firstreaction?
Those older, stronger elephantswould circle around the younger,
smaller, more vulnerableelephants to protect them.
(16:31):
And that's a picture of how weshould care for the more
vulnerable in the church family.
We circle around the the morevulnerable to protect and care
for them.
And a very practical example iswidows.
So Paul writes this in versethree.
He says, honor widows who aretruly widows.
Now I want you to notice there'stwo clauses here.
(16:53):
The first is a command, honorwidows.
And that's in the Greek, that'san imperative.
It's a command.
The fact that Paul addressesthis topic and then spends 12
verses saying, Actually, apretty good portion of the
letter talking about thisexample means it was an issue in
his time in the Ephesian church.
(17:13):
And a widow, if you don't know,is a woman whose husband has
died and she has not remarried.
Now, the word honor meant togive them what they are due,
particularly as it related tofinances.
Because in the first centuryworld, the husband was the one
who earned the money.
Widows in the ancient world hadreally very few options to earn
(17:36):
money and resources, and theyneeded help.
Now, this word for honor canalso be used of honoring the
gods, which shows up in the nextverse where Paul makes this a
matter of religious duty.
Second, the qualification, thosewho are truly widows, might seem
a little perplexing because yousay, well, isn't it clear?
What does he mean here?
Isn't it clear who the widowsare?
(17:59):
The phrase means the widows whoare really in need.
In other words, this applies towidows who have no family to
care for them.
Then the church must step in tohelp.
And this introduces an importantprinciple.
And that is this.
Family are the first responders.
Family are the first responders.
(18:20):
So your family is a mini church.
That before the church wasformed, there was the family.
And it serves as a picture ofGod's family.
You must care for your familyfirst.
Now, Paul continues in this linein verse 4.
He says, But if a widow haschildren or grandchildren, let
them first learn to showgodliness to their own household
(18:42):
and to make some return to theirparents, for this is pleasing in
the sight of God.
Now, notice the importantprinciples outlined here.
Children and grandchildren arecalled to provide practical
provision for their parents andgrandparents who may be widows
first.
or widowers in our time.
Now, what are they called to do?
Show godliness to their ownhousehold and make a return to
(19:06):
their parents.
Now, if you do this, he says,God is pleased.
Now, again, the word honor, thatwas in verse 3, echoes the fifth
commandment.
Honor your father and mother.
And that command, of course, youmay remember, has a
qualification with it.
Honor your father and motherthat it may go well with you.
Paul even mentions that inEphesians 6, verse 3.
(19:28):
Now, why are widows mentionedhere and not the men?
Well, a little culturalbackground again would be
helpful.
In the Greco-Roman world of thefirst century, men again were
the ones who made most of thefinancial provisions for the
family.
And as such, women whosehusbands died could find
themselves in a precariousposition with no means of
(19:48):
support, especially if thechildren would not help.
And this was the background forthe first deacons that we talked
about a few weeks ago in Actschapter 6.
In the ancient world, widowswere particularly vulnerable to
exploitation.
Jesus himself picked up on this.
He recognized and denounced thereligious leaders who he says
(20:08):
devoured widows' houses in Lukechapter 20.
Women who were really in needwere lacking support from their
relatives.
They needed the help of thechurch.
Paul seems to be challenginghere both individual Christians,
take care of your family, andalso the church.
Take care of those who don'thave a family.
(20:31):
So Paul now offersqualifications for helping
widows in verses 5 and 6, andlater as well.
He writes this in verse 5.
He says, But she who isself-indulgent is dead even
(20:53):
while she lives.
Command these things as well sothat they may be without
reproach.
So he makes clear again herethat the widow the church
supports is the one the familycannot or will not help.
She is the one left all alone.
She is trusting in the Lord.
And the church should step in.
(21:14):
In fact, I would add, we shouldbe especially mindful of widows
who are in need, even more so ifthey have children.
Now, some of you might know myown personal story, and if you
don't, I'll share that.
I grew up in a wonderful familywho loved the Lord.
My mother and father werewonderful people who loved each
other and did the best theycould to raise my sister and I.
(21:36):
But my father passed awaysuddenly and unexpectedly when I
was 10 years old.
My sister was 6.
And at a young age, my motherbecame a widow and had to raise
two children on her own.
And if you want to talk aboutloneliness, there is no starker
picture than becoming a widowwith young kids.
And if you're in that similarsituation, you understand what
(21:57):
that feels like.
You feel desperately alone andoverwhelmed.
Now, we did have some familyresources that came alongside
us, but imagine havingabsolutely no one.
In that moment, the church...
Amen.
Amen.
Amen.
Amen.
(22:28):
Care for orphans and widowsreceives sizable attention
throughout the Old and NewTestament.
Most notable is how God isdescribed in Psalm 68, 5, where
he is the father of thefatherless and the protector of
widows is God in his holyhabitation.
God is a protector of widows.
(22:50):
And if God is a protector ofwidows, should not his church do
the same as a reflection of hischaracter?
Additionally, Jesus himselfcared about widows by citing
them in his parables, Luke 18,the parable of the persistent
widow, and highlighting theirfaith like the widow's might in
Luke 21.
Now, why is God's heart inparticular drawn to widows and
(23:14):
orphans?
Why do they get so much of hisattention in Scripture?
Because they are among the mostvulnerable classes of people,
especially in the ancient world.
They have experienced theeffects of the fall in a very
tangible way, and God's heart isdrawn to the vulnerable.
Never forget that.
(23:35):
Now, while widows are Paul'scase study in this section, the
general principle is this.
Prioritize care for thevulnerable.
Some of the most vulnerableamong us today are those who
experience disabilities.
As individuals and as a church,we should always be seeking how
we can care for those in need,especially the disabled and
marginalized in this world.
(23:56):
They are among the most lonelyout there.
Do you remember that video weshowed at the beginning of
Feeding Hands?
That ministry focuses on thevulnerable in society.
I guarantee you, widows andorphans are showing up at their
door needing help.
God cares about them.
But Paul says not all widows aretruly widows.
(24:17):
And he gives an interestingqualification in verse 6.
He says, she who isself-indulgent is dead even
while she lives.
Now, what in the world does thatmean, you say?
Well, the phrase has the meaningof living for sensual pleasure
because apparently this was aproblem for some younger widows
of Paul's day.
Because of their licentiousliving, he says they're
(24:39):
considered spiritually dead.
And that's the background forPaul's age qualification in
verse 9, which we'll get to.
But he drives home the call totake care of your own family in
verse 8.
He writes this.
He says, Now, here again, wefind the principle of this
(25:06):
section.
Family are first responders.
You are called to practicalprovision for your family.
The clause at the end is meantto highlight the seriousness of
this call.
If you don't provide, you'vedenied the faith.
In fact, even unbelieversunderstand the need to provide
for their families.
Now, that's not to say that, assome teach, that the man has to
(25:28):
earn all the money in thehousehold.
His wife may certainly work ifshe's willing and able to help
provide.
But as the head of thehousehold, the father bears the
responsibility for his family'swell-being.
And in this context, there is acalling to care for widows
within your family.
Family are first responders.
(25:49):
Providing practical provisionhelps to end loneliness because
the person in need knows youcare for them.
Now, before we leave this point,let me highlight a practical
need that surfaces often in ourfamilies, and that's the issue
of aging parents.
A passage like this speaksdirectly to that situation.
And I know for many that canplace a strain on your schedule,
(26:10):
your home life, your finances.
In fact, many of you might bewalking through that right now.
It can be a challenge whenpeople are in need of care
constantly.
And yet the call of this sectionis to care for those who are in
need in our family.
By doing so, you are showingyour faith in the God who
provides for our needs evenbefore we ask.
(26:31):
It can be overwhelming.
But if that's the case, thechurch may be able to come
alongside.
So let me just speak for amoment to the widows and the
widowers in the audience rightnow.
It does not escape me that apassage like this speaks
directly to you.
And as a church, we want you toknow that we see you and we want
to help.
(26:52):
And if you have needs, talk tome, talk to Pastor Dave, talk to
a member of our care team or ourelders.
The church's desire andresponsibility is to come
alongside in your time of need.
Don't be afraid to ask.
Can the church cure loneliness?
Not only can it, I think itshould.
We should provide a place forthose who feel all alone.
(27:15):
We should support those in needphysically and spiritually.
That's a challenge for usindividually and as a church
body.
And we do this by fosteringrespectful relationships through
practical provision.
But third, Paul now turns to theissue of age.
He tells us, esteem your elders.
Esteem your elders.
(27:37):
Now, if you've not had a chanceto visit our senior ministry,
senior lunch recently, it isbooming.
In fact, thank you to folks likeDave and Mary Palmer who lead
that ministry, have led thatministry recently.
Thank you for everybody whoserves that ministry to help it
be a success.
Some months we have standingroom only.
And that's a hugely importantministry because as more people
(27:59):
move into retirement, intoretirement communities around
us, our seniors are a bigmission field.
We need to show respect to ourseniors.
We need our seniors.
Now this is challenging becauseyou may feel and know that our
American culture idolizes youth.
Does anybody else feel that?
It's not as big a problem inother cultures because they
(28:23):
esteem their elders better thanwe do.
In other cultures, it's actuallythe opposite of American
culture.
Have you seen the Disney movieEncanto?
Who runs the family and garnersthe respect in that movie?
Abuela, grandma.
Age and experience is somethingto be attained to.
But in America, people arealways trying to look younger,
(28:44):
stay younger, dress younger.
How much money do we spendtrying to look younger than we
actually are?
Advertisers want young peoplehooked on their products.
Politicians are trying tocapture the youth vote.
At some point, you just need toact your age.
And this is a problem that'sfelt outside the church.
In fact, in a New York Timesarticle, recently actress
(29:06):
Frances McDormand spoke outagainst what she calls Hollywood
and America's perverse fixationon youth.
She said this.
She said, Adulthood is not agoal.
It's not seen as a gift.
Something happened culturally.
No one's expected to age past 45in terms of dress and cosmetics
(29:27):
and attitudes.
Everybody dresses like ateenager.
Everybody dyes their hair.
Everybody's concerned about asmooth face.
Nobody wants to be an adult.
Well, let me just suggest weneed more adults.
We need more people with lifeexperience who can offer wisdom.
But if you are a senior...
Paul now offers you a challenge.
(29:47):
He writes this in verse 9.
He says, Now, notice here thatPaul offers further
(30:11):
qualifications for supportingwidows, and the first one has to
do with age.
Now, you might say, why?
Why is 60 the cutoff here?
Some of you are saying 60 isyoung, right?
Well, in Roman society, age 60at that time was thought to be
the cutoff for widows toremarry.
(30:31):
Or if you were under age 60, youcould potentially work.
In other words, if you wereunder 60, you could fend for
yourself or you could findanother husband.
So the age requirement was anissue of qualification.
The church had limited resourcesand wanted to steward them well.
They wanted to help those whoreally needed it.
needed it.
Now, what's interesting is thatPaul offers some more
(30:52):
qualifications that sound kindof like the deacons we read
about in chapter 3.
The widow should be a one-manwoman, the wife of one husband.
Her life should be marked byfidelity in her marriage.
Her reputation should be one ofgood works.
What are those good works?
Well, she's raising a family.
She's hospitable.
(31:13):
She's washing the feet ofsaints, which was an ancient
custom of showing honor.
She helped those in need.
And then in verse 10, he gives asummary.
She devotes herself to good workand good deeds.
Now, you might be asking, well,why is there such a long list of
qualifications for these widows?
And again, I think Paul'soffering a type of policy of who
(31:35):
should be prioritized in supportsince the church has limited
resources.
Now, here at NBC, we have manywidows who served our church
well.
I think of Linda Kubler, whoserves tirelessly in our
hospitality ministry.
In fact, if you ever see flowerson the stage, that's Linda's
work.
I think of Barbara Zellman,who's since passed on, but she
(31:56):
served our church for decades,teaching the scriptures and
loving on people.
Betty Gallagher's turning 100next month and she's here
worshiping Jesus to the end.
These are models of good works.
But these two verses offer achallenge to us in our senior
years.
I think what Paul is saying ispursue godly character to the
(32:17):
end.
Don't retire from serving.
And I will say again, we have somany people here at MBC who have
run the race well.
You are worthy of honor andrespect and keep going.
That as long as you're drawingbreath, God is going to use you.
And here at NBC, we need you.
We need your wisdom.
We need your heart for God'schurch.
(32:38):
We need your voice.
We have so many people who havebeen here serving faithfully for
decades through pastoralchanges, through church
conflicts, through buildingpurchases and repairs.
You have remained faithful.
Think of people like MarkMelillo and Linda Rigdon and
Linda Clark who have taught our5th and 6th graders for decades.
(32:59):
Jim and Jerry Romaine, whoserved NBC in more ways than I
can count, from missions tolittle footprints to Stephen
ministry, thank you for yoursacrifice.
Thank you for allowing us tostand on your shoulders.
And at the same time, I wouldchallenge all of us, may the
characteristics of 1 Timothy 5,9, and 10 describe you to the
(33:20):
end.
Author Paul Tripp writes thisconvicting question in his
devotional Everyday Gospel.
He says, At the end of yourlife, will you ask God to
remember all you have done inHis name?
Or will you hope He forgets thelife you have lived?
A life well lived is a lifelived for the glory and kingdom
(33:40):
of God.
Is that what you're living for?
Can the church cure loneliness?
Yes.
But there's one more guidelinebefore we finish.
(34:03):
One more guideline.
Paul now turns to the youngerwidows and challenges them.
Participate with purpose.
Participate with purpose.
Now, verse 9 and 10 serve as aguideline for the type of widow
the church should support, butthey also serve as an example
for younger widows to follow.
And Paul has some seeminglysharp words for younger widows
(34:26):
in the final verses of thischapter.
He writes this in verse 11.
He says, And you say, whoa,whoa, whoa, Paul.
Hold up here, Paul.
(34:47):
What do you have against theyounger widows, right?
Don't they deserve help as well?
And I know at face value in theEnglish, that verse sounds
harsh.
But there's more to hisreasoning here.
It was common for enrolledwidows in the care of the church
to take a pledge of singleness.
That's that word faith at theend, the Greek word pistis.
(35:09):
That's what he's kind ofreferring to is this pledge that
they're taking in this context.
And it's most likely that Paulthought the younger widows who
could remarry should not bebound by this pledge because his
concern was that they would notbe able to keep this oath of
singleness and would marryanyway.
Possibly to an unbeliever, andthey would be bringing judgment
(35:31):
on themselves and be walkingaway from Jesus.
Now, Paul highlights moreconcerns in verses 13 to 15.
He writes this,"...beside that,they learned to be idlers, going
about from house to house, andnot only idlers, but also
gossips and busybodies, sayingwhat they should not." Paul is
(35:55):
very concerned about peoplegoing after the devil in this
letter.
His concern in verse 13 is thatyounger widows would not be able
to concentrate on responsibleservice.
That they would get distractedby worldly concerns.
(36:17):
They would be idols andgossipers and busybodies.
Now, the idea of gossip righthere conveys a meaning of speech
similar to how Paul's beendescribing the false teachers in
this letter, which has been amajor theme.
In fact, it might mean thatthese women have been won over
by the false teachers andalready abandoned the true
gospel.
In fact, he says in verse 15,some have already strayed after
(36:41):
Satan.
They're outside the faith.
The point is there is a lack ofproductive service to the
kingdom.
Now, do you know anybody in yourlife who's been caught up with
false teaching?
Do you know anyone who hasgotten into a relationship that
has taken them away from theLord?
Romantic relationships are apowerful thing.
(37:02):
And if you get involved withsomebody who doesn't love Jesus,
you can easily stray from thefaith.
And so let me say this, both tothe young ladies and young men,
romantic relationships do notdefine you.
Never allow a romanticrelationship to become more
important than Jesus himself.
And certainly do not get caughtwith a non-believer who takes
(37:22):
you away from Christ.
Author Thaddeus Williams notesthat romantic love can easily
become an idol in our lives.
He writes this in his book,Reflect.
He says, is it possible to makean idol or even a whole religion
out of romantic love?
He says, consider these linesfrom popular songs.
(37:44):
I'm going to build my wholeworld around you.
You're all that matters.
The temptations back in the 60s.
If you believe in each other,there's nothing we can't do.
That's Celine Dion.
You're my religion.
You're my church.
You're my holy grail at the endof my search.
That's Sting.
She tells me, worship in thebedroom.
(38:05):
The only heaven I'll be sent iswhen I'm alone with you.
That's Hozier.
And just to be clear, that lastsong is not about church.
Paul was concerned thatsomething or someone would take
the place of Jesus in the livesof these young widows.
It would influence their actionsand they would not become the
(38:27):
type of widow the church couldsupport with their limited
resources.
And that's why he talks aboutthe character of the older
widows in verses 9 and 10 first.
That this is something the youngwidow should aspire toward.
By the way, not just thosewidows, but all of us should
aspire toward those characters.
And then in verse 14, Pauloffers a solution.
He says, raise your family inthe Lord.
(38:49):
And as anybody who has childrenknows, they keep you busy.
There's much less time to getyourself in trouble with worldly
affairs when you're chasingafter your kids and trying to
teach them about Jesus.
And I would highlight yourfamily is your first mission
field.
Raise your children to know andlove Jesus.
That is building the kingdom ofGod here on earth.
(39:12):
This is a way to participate inthe kingdom of God with purpose.
Paul returns to the widows forone final thought in verse 16.
He says, So Paul offers thisfinal call to participate with
(39:37):
purpose in caring for the widowswho truly need it.
Now, earlier in verse 8, Pauloffered a challenge to the men
to care for those in theirhousehold.
Make sure you provide for yourfamily.
But in verse 16 now, he speaksspecifically to the women, the
daughters and thedaughter-in-laws.
Take care of the widows in yourfamily.
Why?
Because the church has limitedresources, and they need to be
(40:00):
directed to those who don't haverelatives to step in.
Now, you might be asking, whatdoes this all mean for me?
How does this apply?
I mean, I'm not a widow.
I don't know, widows.
Well, there's three keyprinciples from this passage I
would want you to take away.
Three principles that shouldguide you individually and us
(40:20):
corporately as we think aboutour caring ministries and our
caring actions.
This passage captures theessence of benevolence ministry
for the Christian.
Benevolence simply means toperform kind and charitable acts
to give generously.
First, When it comes to care,family are the first responders.
(40:41):
Now, what does that look likefor you?
I want to challenge youindividually to think about
benevolence.
Are there ways you need toprovide for your family now?
Are there future preparationsyou need to make to care for
your parents and grandparents?
God puts us in families andgives responsibilities to us to
care for them, so take some timeto plan.
(41:02):
If there are needs down theroad, planning can make a big
difference.
It can help your loved one feelcared for and not alone.
By being proactive, you areparticipating in God's ministry
of care with purpose.
And there's a beauty in thesacred duty to care for your
parents who once cared for you.
Second, the church is the secondline safety net.
(41:24):
In other words, we can't helpeveryone, so we need to care for
the people when their relativescannot help.
Now, at NBC, we have twomonetary funds that serve in
this capacity.
First, we have an encouragementfund, which focuses on smaller
gifts to help people with thingslike groceries or let them know
we're thinking about them, andgenerally, those gifts are$500
(41:44):
or less.
Second, we do have a benevolencefund to assist with larger
needs, and much like Pauloutlined his process here for
choosing widows to support, wedo have a benevolence team and
an application to assess widowswho we will help.
If you're in need of assistance,you can contact Gary Isler, who
heads up that team.
(42:06):
And then finally, Paul calls usto prioritize care for the most
vulnerable among us.
And in this passage, widows arethe case study.
But there are more marginalizedpeople.
Ask yourself this week, arethere vulnerable people I can
help?
Are there ministries that servethe vulnerable I can support?
(42:27):
All of our local partnerministries, including Feeding
Hands, help the vulnerable.
First Choice protects theunborn.
Young Lives helps teenage moms.
City Relief helps the unhoused.
Market Street Mission ministersto those in addiction.
A ministry like Johnny andFriends cares for the disabled.
How can you prioritize thevulnerable?
(42:49):
And when you do, ministry to thelonely will come center stage.
So can the church cureloneliness?
Yes.
Yes.
Yes, it can.
If we follow God's guidelinesfor the family, respectful
relationships, practicalprovision, esteeming your
elders, and participating withpurpose.
(43:09):
And by living that out, webecome the hands and feet of
Jesus to those we love.
I'm going to invite the worshipteam to come back for one final
song.
And as they come, I want tooffer an illustration, a final
illustration that highlights,again, our need for human
connection.
And to do that, I'll call onCaptain Kirk himself.
(43:31):
In William Shatner's new book,Boldly Go, Reflections on a Life
of Awe and Wonder, the Star Trekactor reflects on his voyage
into space on Jeff Bezos' BlueOrigin space shuttle in October
of 2021.
Then 90 years old, imagine 90years old, Shatner became the
oldest living person to travelinto space.
(43:53):
But as the actor and authordetails, He was surprised by his
own reaction to the experience.
He wrote this.
He said, And he writes this, Ihad a different experience
(44:27):
because I discovered that thebeauty isn't out there, it's
down here with all of us.
Leaving that behind made myconnection to our tiny planet
even more profound.
Can the church cure loneliness?
If we follow Paul's guidelinesfor relational respect,
practical provision, esteemingour elders, and participating
(44:49):
with purpose, we can.
Let's pray.
Heavenly Father, we thank you somuch for your word.
We thank you for the challengeit gives us to be generous, to
care for those in our sphere ofinfluence.
And Lord, I pray for those inthe audience today who are
lonely, those that needprovision.
Lord, I pray that you would helpthem to know that you see them.
(45:12):
Like Hagar in the desert, Lord,you see them.
You are the God who sees.
And I pray that right now youwould minister to them where
they are.
I pray that you would move onfolks in their family, folks in
the church, Lord.
to help in times of need.
But as always, help us toremember, Lord, that you
provided for us by sending yourson, Jesus Christ, to die on the
cross so we could be adoptedinto your family.
(45:35):
And there is nothing impossiblewith you, Lord.
May you meet us where we are andhelp us.
And may we have trust in you forthat, in Jesus' name.
Amen.
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