Holding On To Pain: Why Self-Forgiveness Matters

The healing power of touch meets the transformative force of forgiveness in this powerful testimony from Pastor Linda Budd of Rivergate Church in Tulsa. Taking scripture at its word when it commands believers to "lay hands on the sick and see them recover," Linda shares how she's pursued a healing anointing that's resulted in countless healings over years of ministry.

What begins as a simple Facebook Marketplace transaction transforms into an unexpected healing encounter when Linda meets Bill, a man suffering from debilitating back pain. Despite his initial skepticism—"I've tried everything else, I guess it wouldn't hurt"—Bill agrees to receive prayer. The partial healing that follows reveals something profound about the spiritual-physical connection: Bill's inability to forgive himself for past actions creates a barrier to his complete restoration.

Through this everyday encounter, Pastor Linda unpacks a powerful theological truth: when we refuse to forgive ourselves, we essentially elevate our judgment above God's grace. "You're making yourself bigger than God when you do that," she explains, "because He died for your forgiveness." Her compassionate yet direct approach challenges listeners to release guilt and shame that may be blocking their own healing journeys. Whether you're struggling with physical ailments or the heavy burden of self-condemnation, this testimony offers hope that healing begins with acceptance of divine forgiveness. Contact Rivergate Church in Tulsa if you'd like Pastor Linda to share her healing ministry at your next event or conference.

Have a prayer request? Send us a text!

Support the show

If this podcast has been a blessing to you and you’d like to support the mission's ministry of RiverGate Church, we invite you to make a donation. Your generosity helps extend the impact of this work and allows us to reach more people with hope and healing. You can give electronically using CashApp ($RGCTULSA) or Paypal ([e-mail]). Please enter MISSIONS for reason. Thank you for being a part!

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, I'm Linda Budd.
I'm a pastor at RivergateChurch in Tulsa, oklahoma, and I
take the scriptures literally.
That says that we are to layhands on the sick and see them
recover.
And so for several years I'vegone after a healing anointing.
I've prayed for people dozensof times over the years and I

(00:22):
see so many get healed.
I've seen all manner ofsickness and disease healed.
If you have any pain in yourbody, if you're infirmed, if you
have any disease, if you haveany sickness at all, I just
reach my hand up to heaven rightnow in the name of Jesus and I
call forth the new body partthat you need.
Listen to this testimony.

(00:42):
I sell stuff on Marketplace onFacebook and meet people at a
Walgreens near my house.
I'm always on the lookout forwho I can heal.
Well, I had an appointmentscheduled with a man named Bill,
and Bill Facebooked me when itwas time to meet and said that
he could not meet because he hadhurt his back real bad and that

(01:06):
he couldn't move.
And so I asked him to comeanyway and I said I will pray
for you if you will come.
And here was his response hetold me he had tried everything
else.
So he said I guess it wouldn'thurt.
He said I'm desperate, I'll tryanything.
So he came to Walgreens just soI would pray for him.

(01:27):
He wouldn't get out of histruck, and so I walked up to his
new truck, to the driver's sidewhere he was driving, and I
asked the Lord to give me a newback for Bill.
And then I asked him how it wasand he said well, I won't know
unless I get out of the truckand I move.
And he didn't appear to bewilling to do so.

(01:48):
So after he got home, heFacebooked me and he told me it
was better, but that it was notcompletely gone, and so I kept
leading him through healing bytalking with him on Facebook
Isn't that great?
Well, today he still has a levelfive pain and he refuses to

(02:08):
forgive himself for anything hehas done in the past.
And I've told him that unlesshe does, he will keep his pain,
and I get the feeling that hemust have done some really bad
things in his past, becausethere was nothing that I could
do to convince him that heneeded to forgive himself.
So I just want to say to all ofyou that forgiveness is so huge

(02:32):
.
The Lord died for ourforgiveness.
He died for the forgiveness ofour sins and our sicknesses and
he does not want us to keepunforgiveness of any kind.
And so I asked this man onFacebook if he's asked Jesus
into his life and he states thathe has.
I just get the feeling that he'sreally not living for the Lord

(02:56):
and that he has a lot of guiltand shame.
And so if you have guilt andshame and unforgiveness today, I
just want to encourage youright now, in the name of Jesus,
to let it go.
Give it to the Lord and nolonger hold yourself up bigger
than Jesus, because that's whatwe're doing.
When we say I refuse to forgive, I can't forgive myself.

(03:16):
I've been so awful.
You're making yourself biggerthan God when you do that
because he died for yourforgiveness.
Aren't these just greattestimonies of the goodness of
God and the healing power ofJesus Christ?
If you are interested in havingme come and speak at the
motivational event, your churchor a conference of some sort, I

(03:39):
am more than happy to considerthat invitation.
Please contact my church'soffice.
Happy to consider thatinvitation.
Please contact my church'soffice Rivergate Church, tulsa,
918-492-5511, and we'll see ifwe can set something up.
God bless you.