50 Things to Do in Baby's First Year | The Dude Mom Amanda Rodriguez | MomCave LIVE - MomCave LIVE

Episode Transcript
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Jennifer Weedon Palazzo (00:10):
Welcome to momcave live where we may
have lost our minds, but wehaven't lost our senses of humor
yet. I'm Jen from mom cave andmy guest to hang out with us
tonight is Amanda who is at thedude mom. Hey, Amanda.

Amanda Rodriguez (00:28):
Hello. Thank you for having me

of, of course. So, the dude, mom makes
me assume that you have dudes asopposed to do that in your life.

That is accurate, but funny story. I
have had people email me andlike see, like little pitches or
something. They're like, Oh,hey, dude. Usually, my name
right. And I even had somebodyonce think that I was a dude who
was a mom. So well. To clarify.
I am not a dude. I am a mom.

You're a mom. Yes. Right. But you did
tell me you're from Californiaoriginally. So that's very like
dude, like, yeah. Cool. So Iheard about your book. And I
thought that would be fun totalk about. So everybody, Amanda
has a book, which I couldprobably put on the screen at

(01:24):
some point. But we'll get tothat. It's on Amazon, of course,
where all the books are. Andtell us about the book, what's
it called, and what's in it.

It's 50 Things to Do in baby's first year. And
it is a book that is writtenmore not from like, the 50. Like
milestones that you need tocover as a parent or anything.
It's more about keeping yoursanity as a mom and yeah, that
you should do to maintainyourself and your humanity

(01:56):
because I don't know about therest of you guys, but that my my
mother, my early mothering daysnearly snatched the humanity
away from me. You know, keepingyourself mentally physically
emotionally attached to yourpartner managing like all of the
other relationships that havinga baby throws into disarray at

(02:17):
times. And really just likefocusing on being your best self
while also being the best momthat you can be. But tons of
humor thrown in some, you know,funny illustrations not done by
me than by an illustrator.

Nice, nice.

It's just a lot of humor, little side
stories, anecdotes, stuff likethat. So

that's what we're all about here on mom
cave, you know about the humor,because that's really the way
that I deal with stuff.
Otherwise.

I'm not laughing I'm crying

You're a little further down this
parenting role than I am. So howold are your children?

Yeah, two of them, I guess can't be
classified as children anymorebecause I have a 21 year old an
18 year old and a 15 year oldnow. Yeah, my 18 year old is a
senior this year. And my 15 yearold is a freshman my 21 year old
is in college so

Okay, sidenote, you look amazing to
have children that so I don'tknow like if you had them when
you're chatting but you love

I did it sunscreen.

Jennifer Weedon Pala (03:27):
Sunscreen.
But yeah. I also

I consider myself an indoors man in indoors
woman. Like you I don't get alot of

keeps you young. I actually made a
video this week for a brand. Iwon't say who it is because the
videos not out yet. But they dolike UV protective stuff. And
the joke was like, I don't wantto dress like Morticia Addams at
the beach is how I end updressing. Oh, that's great.
Anyway, no wrinkles, no.
Anything, anything to stop thewrinkles. So the age spots. I

(04:02):
had my kids a little later, Ihave my kids in my mid 30s. So
they're still young ones prettymuch. I've got a seven year old
and a 12 year old. But I lovethe fact that you have this book
about the 50 things that everyparent should do the first year
that they are parent and thatyou've come out you've kind of

(04:22):
come out the other end. So likewhatever the advice was, it
might be pretty good because Isurvived. You survived. Your
kids survived. They grew upyeah, you're still here. You're
still laughing and you look fab.
So

I would say it and I wrote this book in 2019.
Literally, like right before thepandemic happened. My book came
out on December 31 2019. Wow.
Which was like the most randomdate and like the publisher came
with that date. I was like,who's gonna be paying attention?
A baby book on New Year's Eve.
But yeah, we had this plan aboutyou know, I had book like

(04:59):
Conversation set up at differentbookstores like in the DC area
and all that kind of stuff. Andthen the global pandemic came
along, and I never did a singlebooks. I had my book release
party, like I had like a launchparty in January of 2020. And
you know, that was great. Itwas, you know, lots of people
came out, whatever. And that waslike the last time I saw anybody

(05:20):
in person for a long time so,but I will say that at that
time, my kids were older. So Ifeel like when I wrote that
book, I actually wrote that bookat an AAU basketball tournament
in Florida. Yeah, they werelike, the deadlines were super
tight. And they were like, well,you know, you want to publish
the book, we have to have itdone at this time. So I remember

(05:44):
saying, like, well, I have thisvacation plan, and they're like,
We really don't care. And so Iwas like, Well, I can do this,
I'm gonna go to Florida. AndI'll watch basketball
tournaments, I'll take mylaptop, I'll sit beside the
swimming pool while the kids areswimming and doing all their
thing. And I'm writing and I amsweating, both like drenched, I
wanted to get in a pool sobadly. I've never been so hot.

(06:07):
But I gotta died. And I feellike I wrote it a time. Like, I
feel like I could not havewritten this book. When my kids
were toddlers, when they werebabies for sure when they were
toddlers, like I had to gothrough it and sort of get far
enough removed from like, thetrauma of early parenting, to
sort of move it to a space andbe like, well, here's what I

(06:28):
wish I would have done. And hereare the things that I think
like, are realistic, because,you know, we all have read all
these things about like, oh, youknow, you have to put your
mental health and like do allthis, like, sure we all know
those things. But at the sametime, it's like actually doing
that in the midst of having likea newborn and a two year old and
a five year like, it's hard. SoI really wanted to just focus on

(06:50):
things that like you could do,and they're not, you know, have
a cookie, you know, that's likenobody had to tell

me to have first year my baby was born
or ever before after that, no. Ialready know about half the
cookie. Like that's yes. That'smy mantra.

And, like, you know, I remember reading this
thing, I nursed all my kids. SoI remember, you know, have a
healthy snack while you'renursing. Like, why would I have
a healthy snack? I mean, I getit. But also I'd rather have a
chocolate chip cookie. It's theonly time that kids not paying
attention to me and trying tolike bat the food out of my
head. I'm enjoying my cookie.
And I'm sorry if that means thatthe milk tastes like chocolate.

(07:30):
I mean, maybe it's that'sprobably

Jennifer Weedon Palazz (07:33):
probably my baby. Yeah. Yeah. And if if
your baby is still at an agewhere they are not like eating
cookies themselves, yeah. Thentake advantage of that and have
a cookie. Because as soon asthey start eating the real food,
like, your food's always cold,and they always want whatever
you have,

right? Yes. I always say my foods always wet.
Because Oh, I know. They want totaste it. And then they're like,
oh, they put it back. And

you?
No, no, I that's somethingnobody told me about. flops,
saliva and not in the making ofthe baby. Works, right? Just,

yeah, it's not not.

Not fun swap swapping of saliva at all.
What's one of the surprisingthings in the 50 things people
should do?

Oh, um, oh, you caught me there? Because I
don't. I don't know. I don'tthink anything is really
surprising. I would say it'smore things that you don't
necessarily think about, likeone of the tips is about mainly,
being upfront with your in lawsabout the relationship that you

(08:43):
know, you want to have with yournew family. And I think that's a
really hard thing. And somethingpeople don't really think about
when you know, it's like, oh,everybody's happy the baby's
coming. But like, do you wantyour in laws in the birthing
room with you? Like, you need tohave that discussion in advance
if you don't, because it'sotherwise? You know, and like
really talking through how itnot just like your in laws, but

(09:06):
like talking to your partnerabout why that may or may not be
something you want. I mean, somepeople want that, like it's a
party and everybody can come butlike for me, I was like, I don't
know. An audience for this.

You never know how it's getting go?
No. Different families do youthink so differently, and
sometimes it doesn't becomeapparent, a parent that was like
a little, little, it doesn'tbecome apparent until you are a
parent, that your spouse'sfamily is totally weird, and

(09:38):
different. Or in my case, myfamily is totally weird. And I
never you know, it's justdifferent. So yeah, just

to like think about that stuff. You know,
before you have your first babyand then you're like,
everybody's like, you know, youshould you talk about what kind
of a parent you want to be.
We'll sure it but you don't talkabout what kind of a parent you
want your kind of a grandparentyou want your in laws or your or
your older parents to be. So,you know, the just thinking
through some of those things andlike trying to maintain those
relationships because you know,your high emotion at that time

(10:10):
your hormones are all out ofwhack and like, you know, you're
crying and you're yelling, andyou're happy and you're sad and
like all that stuff. And thenpairing it with the fact that
you have all these otherinterpersonal relationships
going on at the same time youjust figure out

totally social media is full of young
gorgeous women giving makeuptutorials, I guarantee you
they've never tried puttingtheir face on with a baby on one
boob and another kid shootingNerf guns at them. Moms want to
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(10:51):
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Start your Mommy Makeup journeytoday. Or as soon as the kids go

(11:12):
to bed.
Um, one of the ones in therethat I really like is put
yourself in. I don't know howyou phrased it, but put yourself
in the picture. Make sure thatyou you're in the picture
because we take so many picturesof our babies, and then pictures
of our babies with other people.
And then sometimes we're not inthe pictures years later,
there's not that many.

Yeah, yeah.
And I'm still sort of guilty ofthat, because I also owned a
photography business. So I'malways one who's like, Give me
the camera. Yeah, I'm not doingit. Right. But do you want the
pictures to be good?

I understand. Totally.

Right. So I have to make an effort to get
myself in pictures with my kids.
And just even without my kidstaking pictures. Yeah, I think
like, the birth of Instagramreally helped with that.

I see.
I feel like it kind of hurt me.
Because now I'm like, Oh, if Itake this picture, it's not
gonna look good. Like, I'm sureit's on Instagram. Or, you know,
I look so awful. There's no wayI'm putting this picture on
Instagram. So why you would takeit but you know, yeah, just
about that.

No, no, yeah, in Yeah, posting every picture.
But like making sure. I mean, atthis point, I feel like I'm to
the point where not justactually being in the picture,
but like printing the pictures.
Because how i Looking back now,I don't think I've printed
pictures for like, the last likefive to seven years. So all the
pictures I have of my kids.

(12:44):
They're little and I'm younger,which no problem there. But you
know, I haven't printed apicture recently. And I
discovered we recently remodeledour basement. And so I'm down
like going through all thephotos. And I'm like, there's
not a single picture from likehigh school from any of my kids.
It's printed on my computer, andthey're on Instagram, and

(13:05):
they're on Facebook, but like, Idon't have a physical copy of
any of these pictures. So all ofa, I have tons of these photo
albums and all that filled withpictures of my kids and pictures
of me. But from when they werelittle so

yeah, it's a different way than when
we were growing up. Um, justbecause of the technology. But
this this is not sponsored atall, but I have a solution. I
have an app on my phone. It'scalled Chatbooks. I don't know.
Oh, yeah. Yeah. So what you cando is like, you know, how you
can put a heart a favorite of apicture, like, it pulls you just

(13:40):
as you're, you know, going aboutyour daily life, and you take
pictures and you're like, thatone's really good. You know, I'm
gonna favorite that one. Andthen as soon as it gets enough
to print and one of these littlebooks, they just charge you 999
or whatever it is 19, ah Iforget, it's not a lot. And they
send you the book of all yourfavorites. And so like we have
all these little, little booksnow and at least that way, like

(14:03):
I get a physical copy of apicture. That's the only way
because if I had to do it andlike pick it and then go to
Walgreens and up and do it.

Right, right, so So clearly, I'm not doing
that clearly. But that

wasn't a commercial or anything.

But I have I have used chat books before. I
think like when it first cameout, I did like a sponsor thing
with them. And I remember notfavoriting but setting it up in
a certain way where like after Igot to a certain number of
pictures just printed them. Andit is like the most random array
of what was I thinking.

Yeah, because you know, it's like
think about the things we takephotos of parking space. So we
remember it at the airport. Abook full of those. Yeah, we
have mommy and color TVswatching us and she says Hello
ladies. Am I late to the party?
You're never late. It's always aparty. Always party. Better late
than Never right? Only moms canhave a party at quarter of eight
It's not even, like, you know,real party time. I am talking

(15:01):
with Amanda who is the dude,Mom, I'm gonna put her book in
the comments. It's baby's firstyear 50 things that every mom
should do. I think it went tothe comments. Maybe, maybe not.
Sometimes this thing is, isrough. If it doesn't show up in
the comments, you all let meknow. And I'll deal with that
afterwards. And I will put itthere. Okay, what about are

(15:23):
there any of the um, the 50things in the book? Are there
any that people have disagreedagreed with you? Or said like,
No, that's a bad idea.

No, no one ever disagrees with me. What?
No, Aren't you lucky? Yeah,agree either.

See, I have an arguer I have debater.
He loves, you know, the wholelike devil's advocate. aspect.
Yes.

Yeah.My husband is pretty chill, but no,
I would say I don't thinkanybody has specifically
disagree. The book was very wellreceived. So I get a lot of
feedback. Like, oh, that's, youknow, I wouldn't like unexpected
things because people pick upthe book and just assume that
it's gonna be like 50 tips or 50things that, you know, you have

(16:17):
to do with a baby like, take,learn how to diaper. I don't
know, I can't even think likethose type of things. But so I
haven't gotten I don't know, Idon't read the comments. So
maybe people probably a goodthing, right people. Ton of
negative feedback, and I haveput it out of my mind. And it's
amazing. Everyone's

Jennifer Weedon Palazz (16:37):
positive that totally, I just thought,
everyone if if I was going toadd to the book, I just thought
of one and it's kind of weird,but I will put it out there
because I wish I had done this.
I missed the way my babies smellso much, right? Like, every time
I pick the baby up no matterwhere when, whatever I always
would, like pick my child up.

(16:58):
Sniff their head. Yeah, everysingle time. She's like, it was
just weird. No,

I used to do that too. Just the

baby had smell is amazing. And every
baby has their own smell, ofcourse. So if there was a way to
save the baby smell like I don'tknow, you know, a piece of their
clothing in a ziploc that mightcontinue smelling like them for
a while. I would do that.

Yeah, I would pick my babies up and smell
their neck, which always wasn'talways a great thing to smell.
Yeah, even when I got that itwas still better than what I get
now at 15, 18 and 21. If I wasto smell any part of their body,
even as it passes me,

I'm learning that mine's only 12 I
don't want to embarrass him oranything but wholy moly and then
they resist showering.

Yes. Be like, Yeah, I'm gonna shower tonight,

dude.
Well, yeah, Got to dude, I'mlike, my

My ears are burning. When you walk by you
must take a shower. This is notoptional.

When ears that are of a different
sense entirely are burning asopposed to the nose, you know?

Yes. Yeah. So like it's so pungent that it's
coming.

That's pretty much pungent. Mommy and
caller TV says she was not a fanof the baby smell. Wow. Like
there must be a study on this.
We need to like MRI your brainor something? I feel like it's
an evolutionary thing. That wewant to smell babies and you
don't so let's see why I wouldlike to know. Lets do this

(18:34):
study. Um, I want to telleverybody all the places they
can find you on the internet.

Unknown (18:43):
All over the internet, the dude, I'm the dude bomb,
Instagram, Facebook, Twitter,tik tok. But don't be so my tik
tok account now is pretty quiet.
Because when 2020 was happening,and everybody's at home, you
know, I did a bunch of dancingvideos with my kids. They have

(19:03):
since entirely moved away fromthat experience and not have
anything to do with me. But evenI was having a blast with that.
But somehow I put two videos ofmy dogs that went viral on
Tiktok. And I was like, well,that's great because I don't I'm
not a dog account. So I havebasically like three videos.

(19:24):
There's two that are like crazy.
And then you know I tried tomake some other ones with my
dogs well, they don't cooperate.
They're literally like just likemy kids. They are don't want
anything to do with me or mycamera in their face. They don't
do any funny things that otherdogs do. It was just these two
particular videos and all thesepeople followed me and I was
like, well you're gonna be sadbecause I'm not a dog got a dog

(19:46):
person tik talker so I

don't know to me that way it was
thinks your something and thenwe're that my my most viral
video on tik tok I was one whereI was sort of making fun of
certain dads that I know. Andthe way that they like, don't
step up. Okay, and so that thatwent viral. And so all of a

(20:13):
sudden, like my tik tok, everyeveryone that follows me is
looking for things about howterrible men are and how
terrible dads are. And that'sreally not like I'm mar. I'm
married, happily married, forthe most part. He's great. Like
looking for a single mom who'sall like empowered? And I'm
like, Well, I can just say fromwhat I've observed you know, I

(20:38):
support the single moms anywayup so they

might know why. You can hear me right.

And yeah, mommy and cola was a huge
fan of yours. Amanda, you have afan

awesome. I'm telling my kids because they
think I'm a dork. So tell

Tell them because no matter what you
do, your kids will always thinkyou're a dork. That's what
parenting is. Thank you so muchfor hanging out with me. You
guys go check out the dude momon all the places and check out
the book which I will put in thecomments of the 50 things that
you should do the first year youhave a kid and be a good gift

(21:16):
for people. So

just just just the lead I second that 100%

There you go. Okay, so thank you so
much. And I hope we can do thisagain.

Yeah, sounds good. Thank you. Yeah.

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