June 21, 2023 • 16 mins
In this insightful MomCave LIVE, Dr. Dravon James, a renowned expert in stress management, joins host Jen to explore the transformative power of embracing stress. Dr. Dravon, a multifaceted individual with a diverse background, offers practical advice on how to turn stress into a friend rather than an adversary.
Jen and Dr. Dravon discuss the unique stress experienced by parents, particularly mothers, who often feel an overwhelming responsibility for their children's future. Dr. Dravon emphasizes the need to stay calm and avoid succumbing to the pressure of societal expectations and well-meaning advice. By reframing stress as a natural part of life's journey, parents can find balance and fulfillment.
Join Dr. Dravon and Jen to discover how you can transform stress into a positive force, ultimately leading to a more meaningful and satisfying life.
Visit Dr. Dravon's site to learn more: https://drdravonjames.com/
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SUBSCRIBE NOW http://goo.gl/QSV97m
Join our email list for exclusive content, new videos, giveaways, and free nannies. (Okay, that part's a lie...): http://eepurl.com/SJxVj
⚡️Follow us on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/MomCaveTV
👍us on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/MomCaveTV
📌Pin with Us: http://www.pinterest.com/MomCaveTV
❤️Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/momcavetv
Tik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@momcavetv
Our blog/giveaways: http://www.MomCaveTV.com
Find the MomCaveTV App on:
Amazon Fire - https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0BH3JHQZS
Apple TV - https://apps.apple.com/us/app/momcave/id6443647663
Android TV: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=quickcast.tv.mom_cave
Roku - https://channelstore.roku.com/details/6f6be4b40df791dc95eb1ab5ee7b32d8
Binge Networks: https://www.bingenetworks.tv/channel/momcave-15052
Airy TV: https://live.airy.tv/Airy_TV_3/39_MomCaveTV
Our Amazon Storefront: https://www.amazon.com/shop/momcavetv
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Transcript:
Jen: Welcome to MomCave LIVE, where we may have lost our minds, but we haven't lost our senses of humor. I'm Jen, and our guest tonight is one that is near and dear to something we all need help with. We've got Dr. Dravon James. Hi, how are you?
Dr. Dravon: I am so good. I'm so excited to be here with you and your audience today.
Jen: We are excited to learn from you and your wisdom. So you guys, if you don't know Dr. Dravon, she is, I would say, almost a jack of all trades in a way. I mean, a doctor who also is a radio host, a coach life coach. You have founded The Next Step Leadership Academy. And she was even an actress. So this woman is well-rounded and has done a lot. And I was told that you are an expert on stress.
Dr. Dravon: You know, well, if experiencing a lot of it makes you an expert? Yes, I am an expert. .......
Read More Here: www.momcavetv.com/how-to-use-stress-to-improve-your-life-momcave-live-with-dr-dravon/
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Jennifer Weedon Palazzo (00:00):
Welcome to MomCave LIVE where we may
(00:13):
have lost our minds, but wehaven't lost our senses of
humor. I'm Jen. And our guesttonight is one that is near and
dear to something we all needhelp. We've got Dr. Dravon
James. Hi, how are you?
Dr. Dravon (00:28):
I am so good. I'm so excited to be here with you and
your audience today.
Jennifer Weedon Palazzo (00:33):
We are excited to learn from you and
your wisdom. So you guys, if youdon't know Dr. Dravon, she is I
would say, almost a jack of alltrades. And in a way I mean, a
doctor who also is a radio hosta coach life coach. You are you
found it The Next StepLeadership Academy, and she was
(00:54):
even an actress. So this womanis well rounded, has done a lot.
And I was told that you are anexpert on stress.
Dr. Dravon (01:07):
You know, what if if experiencing a lot of it makes
you an expert? Yes, I am, anexpert. I think what I am an
expert on really is how to usestress. I've had so much of it.
And I think we try everythingright? We tried to avoid it
never works, right. And so Ijust really realized to embrace
it, it was going to be part ofmy journey. And we were talking
(01:27):
before the show that I have a 23year old, a 20 year old. So in
the midst of everything else Iwas doing professionally, and it
just has been a stressfuljourney. And I just learned how
to embrace stress, make it myfriend and not my enemy.
Jennifer Weedon Palazzo (01:42):
Wow.
Okay, so I definitely want toget into that. So um everyone
here, the mom cavers, as we callthem, we've got mums of all
different ages. So we have brandnew moms who are experiencing
that stress that we know sowell. And then we've got moms of
teens and tweens and, andexperiencing that, in fact,
every stage of motherhood, youknow, everyone is like, Oh, wait
(02:03):
till they get to that stage.
Dr. Dravon (02:08):
So encouraging was so encouraging.
Jennifer Weedon Palazzo (02:11):
We know nobody would ever have children
if we listened to our friends,because everybody has something
to say, um, but stress, I thinkis a huge part of it, just
because you've got so much moregoing on. Right? And so many
more things to be responsiblefor. What do you think about
parenthood that makes ituniquely stressful?
Dr. Dravon (02:33):
Well, I think from a mom perspective and profit from
a dad's perspective to it is theonly time in your entire life
that you walk around, as theysay, what your heart outside of
your body, right. So, you know,you could and I probably could
soldier up against anything, butwhen it comes to our kid, we are
so sensitive, and we don't havethe control that we thought we
(02:56):
would have. Right? You know, atsome points, they you know, the
whole world has a bigger voicefor whatever reason, it seems as
though and we're so that is thetime I think there were so
conscious of the future. And wetend to believe that every
little thing is going to havethis huge impact on the future.
(03:16):
And we can't control everylittle thing, and we definitely
can't control the future. Sothat is just stress right there.
Yeah.
Jennifer Weedon Palazzo (03:22):
Oh, wow. Yeah. I mean, we think if
we don't get the kid to go tothe right daycare, then they
won't go to the right preschoolanymore, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And then they're not gonna getinto an Ivy League college. I
mean, people we just, we just,it's like a momentum of stress.
I feel like we think so farahead.
Dr. Dravon (03:38):
We do we think and I just wanted to tell you this
really funny story. My daughterwas in the first grade and she
was struggling. And the teachertold my husband and I he said,
Well, you know, she's, she'sreally doing a poor job. And,
you know, we're thinking thatshe may have some issues and you
haven't listened to all this.
And I said, in the first grade,you think you can determine all
(04:00):
of that, that's interesting. Andyou're outside I appeared very
competence. I you know, I was sonervous. I went home, I was
reading everything. And fastforward. She's 23 years old. 4.0
in an MBA program, no issue. AndI tell people all the time, now
it's, you know, take everythingwith a grain of salt. Everybody
(04:21):
means well, but you being calmand just knowing that think this
too, will pass. Don't Don'tstress over everything.
Everybody who's an expert isjust not really an expert. They
mean though, they're just not anexpert on your kid.
Jennifer Weedon Palazzo (04:39):
So true. If anybody watching has
some questions for Dr. Dravonabout how to manage stress or
anything like that, just popthem in the comments. We'll keep
an eye there. That reminds me ofthe only advice I ever feel
confident to give to new parentsis that it's like this too will
pass whatever they You'reobsessing about in this moment
(05:02):
seems so very important. Andthen like once, if you just wait
it out, it's gonna go away. Andthen a new thing will pop up and
you can obsess. The new thing,
Dr. Dravon (05:09):
oh my goodness, it is a roller coaster, right. And
so you start to embrace that thewaves, right? The highs, the
lows, the anxiety, and you startto realize that through all of
this, and I had a lot of it, Iwas high risk pregnancy. So I
started there with bothchildren, and you know, just
everything one thing afteranother. And what I would always
(05:29):
come back to and I life coach,this too, is I would always come
back to what am I grateful forin this experience, and I would
look at those little faces, andI will be so I've been all the
fact that, oh, my goodness, yougot here you got here.
Jennifer Weedon Palazzo (05:47):
It's so true. And I always felt like it
made the stress of newmotherhood was easier for me, I
think, because I waited longerto have kids in life. And then
when I was ready, it took awhile. And there were some
losses and things along the way.
So that when I was feeling that,like, Oh, my God, what's going
on, if I could just step backand be like, if I could go to my
past self, and say, you havethis healthy, wonderful little
(06:11):
thing right here. The thingmight be screaming and
tantruming and driving you crazyat the moment. But like the
miracle that you have this
Dr. Dravon (06:20):
You know, we share that journey I was later in life
child,and had a lot of losses. And so
I would always come back to thatpoint that, you know, this was
something that may Doctorsomething would never happen.
And it happened twice. So howamazing is that? And so that
would calm me down. And therewas you know, oh my gosh, I
think, you know, I often say,Well, if I had done it younger
(06:43):
when they had all these risks,but I did do it later. And I did
have all that appreciation evennow I look and think to myself
WOW, you know?
Jennifer Weedon Palazzo (06:54):
Well, it sounds like they turned out
pretty good so far. So that'sgood news. Um, you were telling
me before we went live about, Iwrote down the name of The
Leaders in High Heels, whichtell everybody what that is.
Dr. Dravon (07:10):
Yeah, so in my life coaching journey, and I coached
both men and women. But what Inoticed a lot about my women
clients over the years is thissort of not good enough
syndrome, right. And this waseverything. You know, we talked
about parenting, we talked abouttaking care of their aging
parents or just caring forthemselves or getting to the
(07:33):
next level in their career orbusiness. And it was always this
underlying, not good enough, orwhen this happens. And so it
inspired me to dig deep andstart doing a lot of research on
just what we how we are wired aswomen, and how I can be of use
as a life coach. And that's whatled me to go Leaders in High
Heels, which means that you canbe trying to lead yourself, your
(07:54):
family, your community, yourcareer, just moving to that
point where you see yourself andvalue yourself as a leader and
understand the skill sets thatleaders have that make them run
multimillion dollar companiesmade them start, you know, non
non credit and private nonprofitorganizations just in realize
(08:17):
that you had that in you and youdon't really need to change a
whole bunch to tap into that anddo what you really want to do in
your passion.
Jennifer Weedon Palazzo (08:26):
It's great you guys watching. If
there is something that youdream about doing, but you're
afraid or you have that not goodenough syndrome, share it with
us, we would like no talk aboutit. I mean, we all we all have
those things. What are some kindof like day to day things that
you do to manage stress?
Dr. Dravon (08:45):
Oh, I love talking about this. First thing I want
to tell you is that stress issneaky. I tell people it's like
a computer virus, right? It'sbut things are happening in the
background. And if you let it gounchecked, it will take over
your system, right? So one ofthe first things I do is I do
body scans all day long. I checkin with myself and ask us How
(09:06):
are you feeling? And I wait. Iwait and I just start paying
attention from the soles of myfeet to the crown of my head,
start paying attention. Is thereany tension there? You know,
usually for me, it's in my bellyarea, my gut, no surprise there
for a lot of women. And I juststop and ask what is that? What
do you feel in there? And I waitfor an answer. Sometimes it's a
small whisper. I'm scared aboutthis. I'm scared about that. And
(09:30):
you will be amazed at howquickly we start to internalize
and chastise ourselves for beingafraid and I don't do that. I
give myself permission to feelall of that. And then we're all
moms who will get this part. Istart to mother myself. Oh,
interesting. I started to tellyou're okay, this will pass. You
(09:53):
know I understand how you couldfeel that way. And I just
watched the stress just like Iwould do with my kids with it.
Till your middle school wasthose years for me? And I really
became a really seasoned mom, Ithink during that period,
realizing, okay, this is not amoment to yell or to question,
this is a moment too soothe. AndI apply, I apply that to myself.
(10:16):
So that's one of the majorthings, the first steps I give
people is check in, don't letthe stress mount if you can
catch it before it mounts. Andyou can start to Mother
yourself. Think of how you wouldMother, your children, Mother
yourself just that way. Right?
Oh, wow. Yeah, catch it beforeit starts. But if you don't
catch it before it starts, thereare some things that you can do
(10:36):
in self awareness is important.
When you start to notice whatare those things that we do? Our
voice starts to go up, right? Westart to feel I'll give you you
know, we start to feel hot andwarm and impatient. Start to
drop those symptoms. Askyourself, okay, why am I
yelling? And you'll yell rightback, because listen to that,
(11:02):
listen to that, and speak tothat mother, that mother, that
instinct says, Okay, Iunderstand how you could feel
that way. No criticism, alwaysaccepting yourself in that
moment, will do wonders iscalled. And when I coach I call
it the light of awareness. Beingaware of it in that moment, and
accepting it without criticism,will cause it to dissipate.
Jennifer Weedon Palazzo (11:27):
That's very interesting, because that's
counterintuitive to me. Andmaybe that's why I'm always so
stressed. Because sometimes Ifeel like I have this, this
feeling of stress and overwhelm.
And I'm like, if I, if I followwhere it came from, then I'm
going to get more caught up moreinvolved in it. So I tried to
say, no, no, no, I'm not goingto do that. And then I guess
(11:50):
that just makes it worse.
Dr. Dravon (11:53):
So we put up that wall of resistance, right? When
we whatever we resist straight,we're not really good drawing
more of that energy to us. AndI, I moved towards I call it
leaning in, I lean right intoit, and what's going on here.
And I can feel my inside yellingback at me, you know, this is
what's happening. So Iunderstand. I see how you can
(12:13):
see it that way. Yep. You saidthat 10,000 times I get it. And
all of a sudden, because thereare parts of our ego parts of
our mind that just want to beheard.
Jennifer Weedon Palazzo (12:24):
This is getting into some deep
psychology here.
Dr. Dravon (12:27):
We just want to be heard. You know, no one's
listening. Right, includingourselves, because we're telling
ourselves power through powergroup.
Jennifer Weedon Palazzo (12:35):
I don't have time to think about that.
Right? Yeah.
Dr. Dravon (12:39):
Giving us and this doesn't take long once you
stopped say hey whats going onthe ans And the more often that
you do the answers come quicker,you start to settle down. Okay.
All right. I got this.
Jennifer Weedon Palazzo (12:55):
Okay, I'm gonna give it a try. Else
well, too. Um, I the last thingI wanted to talk about is this
since, I was talking to somefriends about this. So it seems
to be a universal thing of like,not being able to relax, ever.
Because we feel like the momentwe do, we're slacking on
something. And there's alwayssomething else to do. And life
(13:19):
is so short and the day is soshort, and the kids need us and
blah, blah, blah, so that wenever actually just relax.
Dr. Dravon (13:27):
What's a good way to relax? And I think we all go
through that as moms right? Andas you know, women in general,
right. But understanding yourpriority, like having your
mission statement for your foryou write a mission, and ask
yourself, how important is it inmy mission? That the dishes be
(13:50):
done? Right? What is that cleanhouse? We all love it. But it,
Is it more important than familytime? Right? Is it more
important than self care? Thebest thing you can do for your
children and your spouse is takecare of yourself because you're
more patient, you show up likeyou want to show up. Right?
(14:12):
Right. So asking it's differentfor all of us. I mean, for some
women, they would say I can'tfunction without a clean house.
Okay, great. So that becomespart of your mission, you know,
whatever that is right. But thenrealize that everything can't
make the top five. And that'sbeing an executive over your
life. You are the CEO of yourlife, the CFO of your life, you
(14:34):
are the chief, everything youlife. So that means that you
have to understand that I got atop five, top five, not for the
day. For this hour. I'm notgoing to be able to get all that
done. And in that top five mustyou have to have some me time on
so that you can stay top notchfor those who are depending on
you.
Jennifer Weedon Palazzo (14:55):
So true. So true. I know. It feels
like a cliche sometimes to sayit but if You if mom's not
feeling good, the house isn'tgonna go good, the family's not
gonna go good but nothing'sgonna run well with a mom who's
losing our crap.
Dr. Dravon (15:12):
If even if quiet it is our emotions, it's in our
face. You know, Maya Angelousaid that if you pay attention
to children, when they come in,the first thing they do when
they come in the house is theirmom is there, they want to look
at their mom's face. And theyreact to that. It's important,
that is so important. And whilewe're not Stepford women, we're
(15:34):
not always going to be in agreat mood, but we want to be
given the best of ourselves,whatever that is, some days, 10
is the best week. Some days atwo is the best we could do.
Whatever it is, we want to begiven the best that we can in
that moment.
Jennifer Weedon Palazzo (15:47):
That's so true. Thank you so much for
exploring all of this with me,you guys. You have got to go
check out Dr. Dravon james.com.
Is that they? That's thewebsite? Yes. Yes. There's so
many things there that will helpyou and Dr. Dravon can help you
in many, many ways. But let'scontinue this conversation. You
know, MomCave was a place for usto all try to relax and try not
(16:10):
to be stressed. Because thestress is going to be there no
matter what, that's life. Butwe're going to just keep doing
our best to, to lean into it. Sothank you so much. And here's to
a stress free evening foreverybody. Yes,
Dr. Dravon (16:30):
that is stress free evening for all of us, right.
I'm
Jennifer Weedon Palazzo (16:33):
going to leave this laundry right
here. And I'm going to goupstairs where it's even more of
a mess and I'm gonna have dinnerwith my family now. So you've
given me permission. Thank youguys. Thank thanks for watching.
Welcome to MomCave LIVE where we may
(00:13):
have lost our minds, but wehaven't lost our senses of
humor. I'm Jen. And our guesttonight is one that is near and
dear to something we all needhelp. We've got Dr. Dravon
James. Hi, how are you?
Dr. Dravon (00:28):
I am so good. I'm so excited to be here with you and
your audience today.
Jennifer Weedon Palazzo (00:33):
We are excited to learn from you and
your wisdom. So you guys, if youdon't know Dr. Dravon, she is I
would say, almost a jack of alltrades. And in a way I mean, a
doctor who also is a radio hosta coach life coach. You are you
found it The Next StepLeadership Academy, and she was
(00:54):
even an actress. So this womanis well rounded, has done a lot.
And I was told that you are anexpert on stress.
Dr. Dravon (01:07):
You know, what if if experiencing a lot of it makes
you an expert? Yes, I am, anexpert. I think what I am an
expert on really is how to usestress. I've had so much of it.
And I think we try everythingright? We tried to avoid it
never works, right. And so Ijust really realized to embrace
it, it was going to be part ofmy journey. And we were talking
(01:27):
before the show that I have a 23year old, a 20 year old. So in
the midst of everything else Iwas doing professionally, and it
just has been a stressfuljourney. And I just learned how
to embrace stress, make it myfriend and not my enemy.
Jennifer Weedon Palazzo (01:42):
Wow.
Okay, so I definitely want toget into that. So um everyone
here, the mom cavers, as we callthem, we've got mums of all
different ages. So we have brandnew moms who are experiencing
that stress that we know sowell. And then we've got moms of
teens and tweens and, andexperiencing that, in fact,
every stage of motherhood, youknow, everyone is like, Oh, wait
(02:03):
till they get to that stage.
Dr. Dravon (02:08):
So encouraging was so encouraging.
Jennifer Weedon Palazzo (02:11):
We know nobody would ever have children
if we listened to our friends,because everybody has something
to say, um, but stress, I thinkis a huge part of it, just
because you've got so much moregoing on. Right? And so many
more things to be responsiblefor. What do you think about
parenthood that makes ituniquely stressful?
Dr. Dravon (02:33):
Well, I think from a mom perspective and profit from
a dad's perspective to it is theonly time in your entire life
that you walk around, as theysay, what your heart outside of
your body, right. So, you know,you could and I probably could
soldier up against anything, butwhen it comes to our kid, we are
so sensitive, and we don't havethe control that we thought we
(02:56):
would have. Right? You know, atsome points, they you know, the
whole world has a bigger voicefor whatever reason, it seems as
though and we're so that is thetime I think there were so
conscious of the future. And wetend to believe that every
little thing is going to havethis huge impact on the future.
(03:16):
And we can't control everylittle thing, and we definitely
can't control the future. Sothat is just stress right there.
Yeah.
Jennifer Weedon Palazzo (03:22):
Oh, wow. Yeah. I mean, we think if
we don't get the kid to go tothe right daycare, then they
won't go to the right preschoolanymore, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And then they're not gonna getinto an Ivy League college. I
mean, people we just, we just,it's like a momentum of stress.
I feel like we think so farahead.
Dr. Dravon (03:38):
We do we think and I just wanted to tell you this
really funny story. My daughterwas in the first grade and she
was struggling. And the teachertold my husband and I he said,
Well, you know, she's, she'sreally doing a poor job. And,
you know, we're thinking thatshe may have some issues and you
haven't listened to all this.
And I said, in the first grade,you think you can determine all
(04:00):
of that, that's interesting. Andyou're outside I appeared very
competence. I you know, I was sonervous. I went home, I was
reading everything. And fastforward. She's 23 years old. 4.0
in an MBA program, no issue. AndI tell people all the time, now
it's, you know, take everythingwith a grain of salt. Everybody
(04:21):
means well, but you being calmand just knowing that think this
too, will pass. Don't Don'tstress over everything.
Everybody who's an expert isjust not really an expert. They
mean though, they're just not anexpert on your kid.
Jennifer Weedon Palazzo (04:39):
So true. If anybody watching has
some questions for Dr. Dravonabout how to manage stress or
anything like that, just popthem in the comments. We'll keep
an eye there. That reminds me ofthe only advice I ever feel
confident to give to new parentsis that it's like this too will
pass whatever they You'reobsessing about in this moment
(05:02):
seems so very important. Andthen like once, if you just wait
it out, it's gonna go away. Andthen a new thing will pop up and
you can obsess. The new thing,
Dr. Dravon (05:09):
oh my goodness, it is a roller coaster, right. And
so you start to embrace that thewaves, right? The highs, the
lows, the anxiety, and you startto realize that through all of
this, and I had a lot of it, Iwas high risk pregnancy. So I
started there with bothchildren, and you know, just
everything one thing afteranother. And what I would always
(05:29):
come back to and I life coach,this too, is I would always come
back to what am I grateful forin this experience, and I would
look at those little faces, andI will be so I've been all the
fact that, oh, my goodness, yougot here you got here.
Jennifer Weedon Palazzo (05:47):
It's so true. And I always felt like it
made the stress of newmotherhood was easier for me, I
think, because I waited longerto have kids in life. And then
when I was ready, it took awhile. And there were some
losses and things along the way.
So that when I was feeling that,like, Oh, my God, what's going
on, if I could just step backand be like, if I could go to my
past self, and say, you havethis healthy, wonderful little
(06:11):
thing right here. The thingmight be screaming and
tantruming and driving you crazyat the moment. But like the
miracle that you have this
Dr. Dravon (06:20):
You know, we share that journey I was later in life
child,and had a lot of losses. And so
I would always come back to thatpoint that, you know, this was
something that may Doctorsomething would never happen.
And it happened twice. So howamazing is that? And so that
would calm me down. And therewas you know, oh my gosh, I
think, you know, I often say,Well, if I had done it younger
(06:43):
when they had all these risks,but I did do it later. And I did
have all that appreciation evennow I look and think to myself
WOW, you know?
Jennifer Weedon Palazzo (06:54):
Well, it sounds like they turned out
pretty good so far. So that'sgood news. Um, you were telling
me before we went live about, Iwrote down the name of The
Leaders in High Heels, whichtell everybody what that is.
Dr. Dravon (07:10):
Yeah, so in my life coaching journey, and I coached
both men and women. But what Inoticed a lot about my women
clients over the years is thissort of not good enough
syndrome, right. And this waseverything. You know, we talked
about parenting, we talked abouttaking care of their aging
parents or just caring forthemselves or getting to the
(07:33):
next level in their career orbusiness. And it was always this
underlying, not good enough, orwhen this happens. And so it
inspired me to dig deep andstart doing a lot of research on
just what we how we are wired aswomen, and how I can be of use
as a life coach. And that's whatled me to go Leaders in High
Heels, which means that you canbe trying to lead yourself, your
(07:54):
family, your community, yourcareer, just moving to that
point where you see yourself andvalue yourself as a leader and
understand the skill sets thatleaders have that make them run
multimillion dollar companiesmade them start, you know, non
non credit and private nonprofitorganizations just in realize
(08:17):
that you had that in you and youdon't really need to change a
whole bunch to tap into that anddo what you really want to do in
your passion.
Jennifer Weedon Palazzo (08:26):
It's great you guys watching. If
there is something that youdream about doing, but you're
afraid or you have that not goodenough syndrome, share it with
us, we would like no talk aboutit. I mean, we all we all have
those things. What are some kindof like day to day things that
you do to manage stress?
Dr. Dravon (08:45):
Oh, I love talking about this. First thing I want
to tell you is that stress issneaky. I tell people it's like
a computer virus, right? It'sbut things are happening in the
background. And if you let it gounchecked, it will take over
your system, right? So one ofthe first things I do is I do
body scans all day long. I checkin with myself and ask us How
(09:06):
are you feeling? And I wait. Iwait and I just start paying
attention from the soles of myfeet to the crown of my head,
start paying attention. Is thereany tension there? You know,
usually for me, it's in my bellyarea, my gut, no surprise there
for a lot of women. And I juststop and ask what is that? What
do you feel in there? And I waitfor an answer. Sometimes it's a
small whisper. I'm scared aboutthis. I'm scared about that. And
(09:30):
you will be amazed at howquickly we start to internalize
and chastise ourselves for beingafraid and I don't do that. I
give myself permission to feelall of that. And then we're all
moms who will get this part. Istart to mother myself. Oh,
interesting. I started to tellyou're okay, this will pass. You
(09:53):
know I understand how you couldfeel that way. And I just
watched the stress just like Iwould do with my kids with it.
Till your middle school wasthose years for me? And I really
became a really seasoned mom, Ithink during that period,
realizing, okay, this is not amoment to yell or to question,
this is a moment too soothe. AndI apply, I apply that to myself.
(10:16):
So that's one of the majorthings, the first steps I give
people is check in, don't letthe stress mount if you can
catch it before it mounts. Andyou can start to Mother
yourself. Think of how you wouldMother, your children, Mother
yourself just that way. Right?
Oh, wow. Yeah, catch it beforeit starts. But if you don't
catch it before it starts, thereare some things that you can do
(10:36):
in self awareness is important.
When you start to notice whatare those things that we do? Our
voice starts to go up, right? Westart to feel I'll give you you
know, we start to feel hot andwarm and impatient. Start to
drop those symptoms. Askyourself, okay, why am I
yelling? And you'll yell rightback, because listen to that,
(11:02):
listen to that, and speak tothat mother, that mother, that
instinct says, Okay, Iunderstand how you could feel
that way. No criticism, alwaysaccepting yourself in that
moment, will do wonders iscalled. And when I coach I call
it the light of awareness. Beingaware of it in that moment, and
accepting it without criticism,will cause it to dissipate.
Jennifer Weedon Palazzo (11:27):
That's very interesting, because that's
counterintuitive to me. Andmaybe that's why I'm always so
stressed. Because sometimes Ifeel like I have this, this
feeling of stress and overwhelm.
And I'm like, if I, if I followwhere it came from, then I'm
going to get more caught up moreinvolved in it. So I tried to
say, no, no, no, I'm not goingto do that. And then I guess
(11:50):
that just makes it worse.
Dr. Dravon (11:53):
So we put up that wall of resistance, right? When
we whatever we resist straight,we're not really good drawing
more of that energy to us. AndI, I moved towards I call it
leaning in, I lean right intoit, and what's going on here.
And I can feel my inside yellingback at me, you know, this is
what's happening. So Iunderstand. I see how you can
(12:13):
see it that way. Yep. You saidthat 10,000 times I get it. And
all of a sudden, because thereare parts of our ego parts of
our mind that just want to beheard.
Jennifer Weedon Palazzo (12:24):
This is getting into some deep
psychology here.
Dr. Dravon (12:27):
We just want to be heard. You know, no one's
listening. Right, includingourselves, because we're telling
ourselves power through powergroup.
Jennifer Weedon Palazzo (12:35):
I don't have time to think about that.
Right? Yeah.
Dr. Dravon (12:39):
Giving us and this doesn't take long once you
stopped say hey whats going onthe ans And the more often that
you do the answers come quicker,you start to settle down. Okay.
All right. I got this.
Jennifer Weedon Palazzo (12:55):
Okay, I'm gonna give it a try. Else
well, too. Um, I the last thingI wanted to talk about is this
since, I was talking to somefriends about this. So it seems
to be a universal thing of like,not being able to relax, ever.
Because we feel like the momentwe do, we're slacking on
something. And there's alwayssomething else to do. And life
(13:19):
is so short and the day is soshort, and the kids need us and
blah, blah, blah, so that wenever actually just relax.
Dr. Dravon (13:27):
What's a good way to relax? And I think we all go
through that as moms right? Andas you know, women in general,
right. But understanding yourpriority, like having your
mission statement for your foryou write a mission, and ask
yourself, how important is it inmy mission? That the dishes be
(13:50):
done? Right? What is that cleanhouse? We all love it. But it,
Is it more important than familytime? Right? Is it more
important than self care? Thebest thing you can do for your
children and your spouse is takecare of yourself because you're
more patient, you show up likeyou want to show up. Right?
(14:12):
Right. So asking it's differentfor all of us. I mean, for some
women, they would say I can'tfunction without a clean house.
Okay, great. So that becomespart of your mission, you know,
whatever that is right. But thenrealize that everything can't
make the top five. And that'sbeing an executive over your
life. You are the CEO of yourlife, the CFO of your life, you
(14:34):
are the chief, everything youlife. So that means that you
have to understand that I got atop five, top five, not for the
day. For this hour. I'm notgoing to be able to get all that
done. And in that top five mustyou have to have some me time on
so that you can stay top notchfor those who are depending on
you.
Jennifer Weedon Palazzo (14:55):
So true. So true. I know. It feels
like a cliche sometimes to sayit but if You if mom's not
feeling good, the house isn'tgonna go good, the family's not
gonna go good but nothing'sgonna run well with a mom who's
losing our crap.
Dr. Dravon (15:12):
If even if quiet it is our emotions, it's in our
face. You know, Maya Angelousaid that if you pay attention
to children, when they come in,the first thing they do when
they come in the house is theirmom is there, they want to look
at their mom's face. And theyreact to that. It's important,
that is so important. And whilewe're not Stepford women, we're
(15:34):
not always going to be in agreat mood, but we want to be
given the best of ourselves,whatever that is, some days, 10
is the best week. Some days atwo is the best we could do.
Whatever it is, we want to begiven the best that we can in
that moment.
Jennifer Weedon Palazzo (15:47):
That's so true. Thank you so much for
exploring all of this with me,you guys. You have got to go
check out Dr. Dravon james.com.
Is that they? That's thewebsite? Yes. Yes. There's so
many things there that will helpyou and Dr. Dravon can help you
in many, many ways. But let'scontinue this conversation. You
know, MomCave was a place for usto all try to relax and try not
(16:10):
to be stressed. Because thestress is going to be there no
matter what, that's life. Butwe're going to just keep doing
our best to, to lean into it. Sothank you so much. And here's to
a stress free evening foreverybody. Yes,
Dr. Dravon (16:30):
that is stress free evening for all of us, right.
I'm
Jennifer Weedon Palazzo (16:33):
going to leave this laundry right
here. And I'm going to goupstairs where it's even more of
a mess and I'm gonna have dinnerwith my family now. So you've
given me permission. Thank youguys. Thank thanks for watching.
Popular Podcasts
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com