Monkeys With Matches
A Comedian a Musician and a Jew is a podcast featuring comedy, music, philosophy and snarky comment. The cast includes Jonathan Thymius, a nationally recognized comedian who has starred in films, late show television, was a finalist on Last Comic Standing and is always on the verge of something great. Craig is a composer and French Horn player who spent most of his childhood on a New Mexico cattle ranch. Craig moved out west in 1988 to follow his dreams of playing in an orchestra and now lives in Silicon Valley where he spends every waking moment trying to meet his expenses. Bernie is a renowned sperm donor from Denver Colorado. He divides his time between his job in the steel industry and his monkey. Bernie loves riding his bike, scolding his dog for biting people and being too old to attract young women.
Episodes
There once was a turtle named Mitch, The Dems thought of him as a bitch, He kissed the beasts ass, The beast pushed out some gas, Forever Mitch has found his sweet nitch.
The elections, the virus, the trump cult, oh my!
Ever wonder what angry monkeys, Hüsker Dü, Church Picnic and some guy named Carrie have in common? Monkeys With Matches, thats what.
Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter - Martin Luther King
Too many things are occurring for even a big heart to hold. -Yeats
Ships that pass in the night, and speak each other in passing, only a signal shown, and a distant voice in the darkness; So on the ocean of life, we pass and speak one another, only a look and a voice, then darkness again and a silence. -HW Longfellow
The only reason people don't know much is because they do not care to know. They are incurious. Incuriousity is the oddest and most foolish failing there is. -Stephen Fry
My candle burns at both ends;
It will not last the night
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends—
It gives a lovely light! -Edna Millay
The little fish eats the tiny fish, the big fish eats the little fish. So only the biggest fish gets fat. Do you know any folks like that? -Anonymous
Still I Rise
"You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I’ll rise.” -Maya Angelou
A voice said, look me in the stars and tell me truly, men of earth, if all the soul-and-body scars, were not too much to pay for birth.
-Robert Frost
A piece of gum lay on the ground, it's minty fresh taste long ago gone. It had been chewed and chewed until tired jaw. It bended my heart, my mind, my awe.
Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process they do not become monsters. If you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you. -Nietzsche
Prezident Cheezel deletes lockdown,
deletes the World Health Organization,
deletes the memory of George Floyd,
then hunkers in his hunker bunker,
hunkers with freedom fries at midnight,
a lights out party at the House of White.
His rancid data dump is oozing out of our phones,
like they say go big or go home.
Fires on the perimeter spell DOOM MF
to the ticks, the fleas, and assorted blood suckers.
Ominous weapons and vicious dogs ...
The flowers betrayed
The colors decayed
Soaking with dismay
It's death they might say
Where they all lose and no one wins
But this is how your life begins
- anonymous
The heights by great men reached and kept
Were not attained by sudden flight,
But they, while their companions slept,
Were toiling upward in the night. -Longfellow
What are heavy? Sea-sand and sorrow;
What are brief? Today and tomorrow;
What are frail? Spring blossoms and youth;
What are deep? The ocean and truth.
- Christina Rossetti
Popular Podcasts
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about absolutely nothing. TO CALL THE GECKO: follow me on https://www.twitch.tv/lyleforever to get a notification for when I am taking calls. I am usually live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays but lately a lot of other times too. I am a gecko.
The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show. Clay Travis and Buck Sexton tackle the biggest stories in news, politics and current events with intelligence and humor. From the border crisis, to the madness of cancel culture and far-left missteps, Clay and Buck guide listeners through the latest headlines and hot topics with fun and entertaining conversations and opinions.
Listen to 'The Bobby Bones Show' by downloading the daily full replay.