Ten Things NOT to Do In Your Faith Deconstruction - Britt Hartley | Ep. 2011

In this episode, we explore 10 common pitfalls people face during religious deconstruction. From navigating relationships and parenting outside of organized religion to the challenges of psychedelics, intellectualism, and identity loss—this is a raw, honest conversation about life after faith. Whether you're just beginning your journey or deep in it, this discussion offers insight, validation, and guidance.

Key topics covered:

• Why opening your marriage right after leaving religion may backfire

• How to provide structure for your kids without religion

• The psychedelic trap & chasing spiritual highs

• The “missionary phase” of ex-belief systems

• Finding meaning beyond religion, without clinging to new dogmas

• The lifelong process of deconstruction

• And much more, including Gen Z dating, chakras, free will, and dreams

Don’t miss her reflections on what she’s learned, what to avoid, and how to move forward with integrity and openness.

Show Notes

YouTube

00:00:00 Introduction

00:04:44 These are things she's learned to be aware of as you are in the mess of religious deconstruction; it’s not a same thing

00:08:04 The first thing you should avoid: Opening your marriage soon after leaving your faith

00:16:32 Second: Providing order and structure for kids

00:22:37 Do kids need religion for structure and order?

00:34:15 Third: Psychedelic chasing

00:39:45 Four: Clinging to new beliefs

00:45:32 Reality is more magical than how we view reality

00:50:28 Five: Avoid the Missionary Phase. Sam Harris says: “No one is more ardent in their atheism than exMormons”

00:57:01 Six: Not recognizing the good in religion 

01:04:57 Seven: Underestimating the hard work it is to replace religion

01:12:32 Eight: Underestimating that deconstruction is a lifelong process

01:18:11 Do we have free will? 

01:28:32 Nine: Avoid finding new prophets

01:35:45 Ten: Overemphasis on intellectualism

01:42:53 Final thoughts

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