Alex is a single-mother-by-choice who decided to take the adoption route to build her family. She tells me about how she educated herself on the process and how she conquered the emotional hurdles. As well as the stigma of being a single woman wanting to adopt.
Alex was in her 30s when she decided to pursue adoption. She spoke to agencies and dove into the research process to really find the option that best fit her. She has some insight on what she found out about international adoption versus domestic and why she decided domestic was her best path. She also shares how she found an adoption attorney that not only looked out for her best interests but also the birth mother’s as well. She is very open about the process and really advocates for private adoption.
Alex’s adoption process is what is known as an “open adoption,” which means the child is aware of their biological family and has access to them. Alex is very honest about the initial fear of including the birth mother in their life but is happy to say now she welcomes the diversity of her family. We discuss the concept of a “family constellation” rather than a “family tree.”
Not many people are as open about the adoption process as Alex is, so I think today’s episode is very insightful and encouraging.
Some highlights of today’s conversation:
- Alex’s early ideas of motherhood and family.
- Why adoption was the best path for her.
- How Alex educated herself on the adoption process.
- Why an adoption attorney was a game changer.
- The differences between international adoption and domestic adoption.
- Alex’s relationship with her daughter’s birth mother and extended family.
- How she keeps the door of communication open for her daughter.
- How to build a “family constellation.”
- How Alex explains her family to her daughter, and the terms “biological mother” and “real mom.”
- The importance of both biology and nurture regarding raising a child.
- What Alex would have done differently in hindsight.
- Her advice to other women considering her path and the single-mother-by-choice option.
Resources
David Radis, Adoption Attorney
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