015: Laura: Surviving A Long Journey To Motherhood

After her mother passed away, Laura decided she needed to make another connection with another human being and began her unconventional path to motherhood. She went through three years of multiple attempts at IUI (Intrauterine insemination) and several miscarriages. Finally, in 2014, Laura was able to conceive her daughter with IVF (In vitro fertilization.)

Laura is very honest about the long and grueling process that led to her pregnancies. We discuss the sperm donor process and how opened id donors interact with sperm banks. Laura also shares the relief of having half-siblings to help ease her daughter’s curiosity in the future. She tells me about their relationship with the other families and how she has approached the topic of her daughter’s conception.

We also explore the loneliness of the single-mother-by-choice path. Laura encourages seeking out a community and finding other moms to connect with.

Some highlights of today’s conversation:

• Laura’s ideas of normal and expectations of motherhood.
• Why her mother’s death kick-started her single-mother-by-choice journey.
• The medications and processes Laura went through.
• The three-year process of IUIs and miscarriages.
• The devastation of losing her babies later in pregnancy.
• The shift to IVF and the successful pregnancy.
• How Laura found mom groups and forums.
• Laura’s donor selection process and the final choice.
• Laura’s concern about having an opened id donor and how her daughter will react.
• The benefit of being in contact with half-siblings and their families.
• The surprising closeness of Laura and her daughter.
• The isolation of the single-mom-by-choice and how to fight it.
• Laura’s advice to women considering this path.

Resources

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Motherhood Reimagined: When Becoming a Mother Doesn’t Go As Planned: A Memoir by Sarah Kowalski

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