November 21, 2023 • 45 mins
How do your culture, family, and background influence your personality?
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi everyone. In this episode of the New Meyersburg Question Corner,
we are talking about culture and family and the environment
we grow up in and how all of these things
affected how we turned out as adults. And this gets
into one of the most common questions I get, which
(00:20):
is can my personality type change? And that's a loaded
question because there are a lot of what ifs that
go through my mind whenever someone asks me this question. So,
if you are tuning into this episode, think about yourself
and how your own family and friends and your environment
(00:40):
played into who you are now. And we'd love to
hear your story, So please leave us a comment, share
this episode on social media. I hope we can inspire
some thoughtful discussions in your own head with your loved ones.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Enjoy.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Wow. Welcome to the New Myers Briggs Question Corner. I'm
(01:21):
Edith Richards and I'm Mark Mappe, and we're here to
answer your questions about all things personality and all things
Myers Briggs.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
From college to careers to relationships. Personality is the key
to finding the right film.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Hi folks, hope you all are doing well. It is
a bright, sunshiny day here in the Washington, DC metro
and it is a really hot, hot summer this year.
Mark and the air quality just in my opinion, the
(02:12):
air quality has been really bad, unfortunately, at least around here.
So I have not been outside as much as I
normally am during the summer. But I'm still getting in
some much needed pool time, which is great to cool off.
And my other favorite activity, which is the beach, is
(02:32):
at least for me, going to have to wait for
a couple of months. So how is your summer going.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
I mean, my summer's fantastic. I'm a teacher, right, so
it doesn't matter what's going on. There could be an
alien invasion. Like I'm good because we're all for the summer.
So my summer's been fantastic. You know, you talk about
the air quality. I'm just thinking about you know how
this relates to personality type. I'm an introvert, so I
don't mind being inside. I don't have to be to
(03:00):
be outside at all. Like I could be by myself.
I'm that dude, that random dude at ihop at Denny's,
any local restaurant, just sitting by himself with like an
office like out there, like that's me. Like, because I'm
an introvert, and I don't mind doing that and being
away from social interaction, like and just deeply going into stuff.
So I love it and the you know, like as
(03:22):
I was saying, the summer is great not only just
as a teacher, but just for me as an IFP,
you know, like as an introvert. As we talked about,
like I don't have to interact with people like I
don't have to if I don't want to, Like as
a teacher, I have to, Like there's no escaping it.
There's going to be thirty kids in my class and
more than likely they're going to be bothering me, right,
(03:42):
and so I have to because I'm a feeler, I'm
going to have to care and love them up and
all that other stuff. So a lot of times I
talk about when I'm a teacher, like I literally look
at it and putting like a clown uniform on, Like
I spend my time during my breaks like frushing up
my makeup, putting my little nose on, putting the music
on behind. Because when I go out, it's a show, right,
(04:03):
because it's an introvert. As a teacher, I got to
put on a show, right, And so I don't have
to do that in the summer, Like if I don't
need to talk to somebody, I don't, I don't have to.
I can get involved with in a deep conversation if
I want. So it's great being an end I love it.
Like I can spend my whole summer figuring things out.
Like I can't do that as a teacher as much
(04:24):
because my energy is so drained, like by teaching because
I'm living in the e right, because I've got to
be an extrovert and I've got to be a censor
and focused on details because you know, God forbid you
do anything wrong in education, Like it's worse. So like
I'm drain so I don't have time to really do
(04:45):
the things that I really love, which is like trying
to figure out ways for kids to reach their potential
because that's my type. I'm such an ideal seeker and
want to see kids succeed and that sort of stuff.
And you know, my f I enjoy, like I'm able
to really abide by my values and really look at
ways that I can create systems to help kids succeed
(05:07):
and being able to do a lot of that stuff.
And so like I spend a lot of my time
during the summer trying to figure things out right and
trying to set up meetings because I think our schools
are at our capacity for the things that they can
do for our kids, and we need the community to
come alongside of our educational system and help our kids
(05:28):
get to where they need to go. So I spend
a lot of my summer meeting with people and trying
to figure out what those systems would look like in
order for kids to be successful. Like, one of my
major things is trying to figure out a way to
knock out distance between school and work and the ways
that we can have a more natural transition between school
and work. But here's the thing, if like I realize,
(05:49):
I suffer as a pee with that because now I
don't have the bells. Now, I don't have the organization.
Now I don't have the Google calendar that they require
me to use in schools in order to get myself organized.
So now I've got to jump into my jay heavy
to set myself up. Because it can be one o'clock
and I haven't done anything. I'm still reading and thinking
(06:11):
about something else to figure out. Like I have to say, okay,
from nine to one, you got to do this from
one to three, you have to have to be very organizing.
For the first time, I have a planner. I won't
use my planner during the school year because there's so
many things that already organized for me. But as a
p operating in a summer where I got to get
stuff done for these systems, I need to tap into
(06:33):
my jay and I know. And if we talked a
lot about like sometimes at work you feel like an
impostor because you have there's certain dichotomy types or certain
types that you have to become at your work in
order to become successful that are totally opposite of who
you are. Yes, I describe how the culture of your
(06:53):
work forces you to be somebody different.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
Yeah, and this is actually, you know what perfect seg
way into the topic for this week Mark, So gosh
that what you were just talking about here. There were
so many bits of information here that you were talking
about that I just but somehow, I don't know. I'm
stuck on the sitting in ihop or Denny's by yourself,
(07:18):
and I don't know, just being that I can just
picture you. Here's this lone guy just sitting there in
the restaurant by yourself doing your own thing. And you
know when you said that, the first thing that came
to my mind is like, wow, I don't know if
I would I would do that.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
I don't like going to a restaurant by myself and
if I see somebody like I automatically just think, oh,
that's sad, But you know the way that you describe it,
it's like, it's.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
Not sad at all. This is just what I want
to do. So you know, it's it's fine. So I
really like that. And you know what you were saying
about changing ourselves or morphing because of the work culture. Yeah,
I think a lot of people can relate to that,
right because our natural way of being it's just it's
(08:08):
not going to work in every situation. Like, we all
have things that we've got to work on, and thank God,
thank God for that, because it's just perfect what you
said here, Like, in order to get things done, I've
got to get myself organized.
Speaker 3 (08:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
I might not be the type of person who naturally
makes decisions quickly, but the decisions have to be made,
so I've got to exercise that judging part of myself.
And this is actually one of the most common questions
that I get. Can my personality type change or why
did my personality type change? So part of how personality
(08:48):
may manifest it may have to do with our culture,
or our family of origin, or the environment where we
grew up. And I thought it would be great for
us to talk about about the impact of our family
and our environment on our personalities today. So, Mark, how
do you think it shaped who you are as an
(09:10):
adult now? Your family and your your culture and environment
where you grew up.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
Well, I'll tell you a lot of my culture. So
I was born in Jamaica, moved to the United States
when I was five years old, but there's a there.
I think a lot of Jamaican culture like helped direct
how I live my life, or at least how I
should perceive how I should live my life. And one
of the big things in Jamaican culture. And that's just
speaking for a mind. I'm not speaking for all Jamaicans,
(09:36):
but this is just my perception of what I feel
like Jamaican culture is about. You know, Jamaican culture is
very big on creating a standards of how you should
be living your life, like who you should be like.
So Jamaican culture were big on politeness, being respectful, being intelligent,
or at least coming across as respectful and intelligent and confident,
(09:58):
you know, being confident in your inner actions with others,
having respect and concerned, speaking with confidence. It fits this
image of who you are as an individual. And I
know in my family that was big, like your ability
to speak up. You weren't allowed to not speak up, like,
you had to speak up, you had to share your opinion,
and you couldn't be long winded like because if you're
(10:21):
a long winded you're gonna get automatically cut off like
you could be succinctly like speak up with intelligence that
makes people say ah, because if you don't, somebody else
want to totally crush your point. Right. So when I
look at a large part and I see this, even
it's my brother, Like I'm an introvert in general, but
I think a large part of which is it's kind
(10:42):
of funny because although I'm an introvert, my brother, who's
an extrovert, was actually acting like what we think an
introvert would act like, which is very shy. Right, So
a lot of large part of my brother was very shadow.
I just don't think he was as confident in himself.
But a large part of it, Uh, speak up, like
talk up like that's one of our things that we
(11:03):
say in Jamaica, like talk up mine, that's our thing.
Talk can't we can't hear you, like even if you
if you don't come in immediately loud and like boisterous,
like you're gonna get like kind of ridiculed. Right. And
so my brother, like any opportunity had where you just
like he was thinking about something like he was crushed.
(11:23):
And so I can see for a natural introvert how
how that would struggle because you want to be able
to process your information before you speak, and Jamake, you
can't do that, like you got to speak and you
got to speak intelligently, right. And I think that's part
of the reason why I can operate in the extrovert world.
I can operate there because I just know how to
(11:43):
play the game like I know how to do it
because we've been forced to do that, and so I
can put on my extrovert hat and play it very well.
And that's why a lot of people will look at
me and they have no idea I'm an introvert because
I know how to play the game. Because largely because
of my Jamaican culture. You weren't allowed to think before
and if you were to think before, think way before
the event, like I think about what you want and
(12:07):
then when I'm ready to ask you the question, you
better have the answer, right.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
Right, So I got a question. Then, So if you
could type Jamaica like as a type, like as a
Myers Briggs type, what would you type Jamaica.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
As that's all our BT? I like nerds, Like how
great would it be to like type countries? Right?
Speaker 1 (12:26):
I mean those people literally like people do this so
like I have my own perceptions of that, but just
hearing you talk about because I I love Jamaican culture
and just love the people and everything. But yeah, what
do you what.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
Would you as I would say, if you're a parent,
which is who's kind of handing down the culture and
it's strong, it is E, it is S, it is T,
and it is J. No.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
What really?
Speaker 3 (12:54):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (12:55):
So they're like a lot of you have to follow
the rules, like follow the rules, speak up, do what
I tell you to do?
Speaker 2 (13:03):
Yes, But I mean that you just described jamaking parenting
like what has gone through that? Okay? Like we will
watch these reels like on the internet of Jamaican parents,
and it's so true. It's and here's the thing to look.
I'm not saying this is what these individuals are, but
as a parent, that's what the culture teaches you to be.
(13:26):
It is so overbearing. It is like so much like
you like to the point where you just give in,
you just relent. I'll behave because I'm just tired of
hearing it. Like it's just the expectations and what's expected
and all this other stuff. It's like, what do I
need to do just to let you just stop, to
just be quiet? And you can't say that, of course,
you got to say that inside. You can't, that can't
come out of your mouth. So yeah, I would say
(13:48):
they're very much how you describe them.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
Wow. But but like in day to day interactions and
stuff like, I don't get that everybody seems to be
much more laid back and it's like, nope, problem man,
you know, yeah it's Jamaica.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Just relax.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
It seems like in day to day life for me
at least.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Yeah, because we know that if you, uh, if we're
not that type, that you're not gonna come back, like
like if you're the Jamaican parent, like at these resorts,
like you're not gonna have nobody's coming back to your situation.
So like, yeah, like the whole idea of relaxed not
like very p oriented relax everything's gonna be Everything's gonna
be okay, Like not from the Jamaican parents. Jamaican parent
(14:30):
not everything's gonna be okay. You don't do a B
and C. There's a problem.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
It's almost like so they're also like putting on their
clown suits every day to just just a different type
of clown suit.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
I guess. So it's not really who they are. I
think you described and that's at least definitely my family, right,
and I'm willing to say the Matthey family, we know this, right,
and we have a lot of people in this Matthew family.
But like it is about like it's when it comes
down to it, it's about image. And so when you're
dealing with image, it forces you to put on different
(15:04):
personality site depended on the situation. So like they would
not expect you to act that way the way a
parent would if you were at a resort or interacting
with people. They wouldn't want you to all of a
sudden speak up. They want you to ask you us.
If you're a child, it's different right now, it's you
should be listening, you should be processing information. You don't talk.
(15:24):
You just talk what I tell you to talk.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
Oh my god, Wow.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
There's a different typing general.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
I mean as so as an I NFP child growing
up in that environment, like I mean, which is essentially
it's the antithesis of who you are, like you are
the opposite of that environment. So how do you think that, Like,
how did that affect you as an adult?
Speaker 2 (15:49):
I think it helped, right because I think it allowed
me to come up with how I can live differently
if I need to, so like what they call it,
like it's a shape, or like be a different person
if need be, Like I can play that game correctly
because of my natural I n I think I was
always very self reflective and understood what was going on.
(16:12):
So I understood what my dad was doing, Like I
understood that it was about images about that, so I knew, Okay,
now I'm playing the game right. But as I got
older and there wasn't a threat of severe punishment, I
would be more introvert, right, I would be more introverted,
where like I would be able to not voice my
opinion and say like that, give me a second to
(16:34):
think about it. Or in general, my dad's an introvert too,
so like he he's going to spend his time trying
to figure things out. So I can tell my mom, like, Mom,
just give me a second to figure it out. Now.
I have the ability to do that because I was
naturally self reflective and introspective with that. But I do
feel like if you're not that it can be very difficult.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
It can be Yeah, yeah, I can understand that. But
it's sounds like you know, you've been able as an
adult to find like the happy medium there, and like
you were saying, like when when you have to you
can go and do what you need to do and
project a certain image in certain situations, like you play
(17:14):
a role, but you know, left to your own devices,
like your own preferences, and you kind of need that
time to be yourself and be reflective and just do
your own thing, right, So you've been able to find
that balance.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
Yeah, absolutely, Like I said, I think it really did help.
I'm not suggesting that people that we force children to
act a certain way, but because I'm a person who
loves the win win situation. I think it's important that
I know how to become different to different people if
I want everybody to win, you know what I'm saying.
(17:50):
So like it's I think it's really really helped me
to be extrovert, like to that Jamaican culture help me
to become more extroverted, right, to narrow my thing and
to be succinct with my ideas. Like if you're in
a family discussion, like everybody's rolling with idea, Like there's
not a moment of silence. It's like I don't know
if you've ever seen like in like sometimes the cities,
(18:11):
people are doing double dutch and you kind of like
kind of jump in Like that's kind of how it
is in our family. Like you got to like gauge
and there's like a second of like quietness. You got
to come in there and you got to be succinct
right with what's going on. You're not going to be
able to have the time to elaborate on your points
and to really show that. And so it really has
helped me learn how to be succinct right and the
(18:33):
whole idea of making a decision, like there's not going
to be a lot of like I don't know, like
I got to really think about it's not gonna be
a lot of time of that, Like a decision needs
to be made and they're want to speak on that.
So it's really allowed me to do the things that
I don't really do well. I'm able to do that
kind of naturally.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
So so and I shouldn't feel bad about interrupting you.
Speaker 4 (18:53):
Then, no, no, in my very extroverted way, but yeah,
it's so funny just like listening to your to what
you're saying here, because in a lot of ways, I
had the.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Opposite experience growing up and being an extrovert in like
an introverted environment. Right, So I grew up on a farm.
I did not grow up in a neighborhood like a
lot of other kids of my era, And if I'm
being honest, I kind of feel like I missed out
on a lot of social interaction early on. Yeah, I
(19:27):
used to ask my parents all the time if we
could move, Can we move to a neighborhood like a
regular family, because and you know, thinking back on it, it's
because I wanted to be around more kids. I used
to not really enjoy the summertime too much because I
would get lonely and bored. I only had my sister
(19:48):
and our pets to play with. Yeah, if I'm being honest,
I felt like I was at a disadvantage when I
went to school. And I should also mention my mom
was pretty strict. We weren't allowed to watch much TV.
I don't even remember us we had this old like
when I was really young, we had just this black
and white TV and we didn't have cable, and so
(20:11):
I didn't have TV shows. I didn't have TV characters
to relate to either. So I feel like, at least
in those early years when I went to school, I
was the weird kid. I was the weird kid who
just could not interact the way the other kids were interacting.
So I felt really awkward honestly those first few years.
(20:34):
On the plus side, I did grow up in an
environment where I did learn to hone my creativity, and
to this day, I think that's one of my strongest skills.
I love to brainstorm. I love to come up with
clever new ideas, and I love to read, and that's
another thing my mother encouraged. And you know, on the
(20:55):
other hand, all of the activities that were encouraged were
introverted activities. And my mom is still to this day
super introverted. She does not like the house, she doesn't
like parties, she doesn't like going out anywhere. And I'm
not saying that's a bad thing, it's just who she is.
(21:16):
But I can't help thinking that if my extroversion were
encouraged a little bit more, would I be different? And
how would I be different? And so I want to say,
like I have honed my introversion, I'm very comfortable in
the introverted world, and in fact, I need that introverted
world more and more as I'm as I'm getting older,
(21:37):
for a certain amount of time, maybe a day, but
after a day of being at home by myself and
my own like, I'm ready to get out, Like I
need to get out, I need to interact with other
people other than my significant other and my cat.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
I should say, yeah, And if you make a really
really great point about the idea of how we can
interact in these other types right or these other preferences,
it's although it may not be something that's natural to us,
understanding of how to live in that life is actually
very very beneficial for us. And again, I don't know't
(22:15):
necessarily suggest that people live in that because you know
something that you've said, You've become very frustrated in the
corporate world because it doesn't really match your your typing,
it probably doesn't allow you to reach your potential. But
knowing how to play that game, knowing how to live
in that space in moments, can actually help you really
really succeed in almost any situation. So I think that's
(22:38):
really really important.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
Yeah, you know, I mentioned you know, I was kind
of joking about interrupting you before, but it was as
you were talking about that in the family you grew
up in and how you kind of always you have
to if there's just one little nanosecond of silence, like
somebody has to fill it, right, And in my family,
it's rude, like it was considered very rude to interrupt somebody.
(23:02):
And I've still taken this to my adulthood, like I
don't like to interrupt people. I want to let them finish,
and I really want to tune in to hear what
somebody else is saying before I chime in with my
own thoughts here. And it's funny because you know, and
I have been mistaken more than once as an introvert,
(23:23):
and I think it's just because I've been comfortable, like
I've learned to be comfortable in that world. And it's
to the point it's hard to believe this now, and
I think a lot of people wouldn't believe it. But
I was nominated shyest in my high school class. And
you know, people who know me now they would or
ever know, they would never suspect this. But I got
(23:46):
very comfortable in the world of introverts from the time
I was young, and I'm still comfortable by myself. So
this goes to show this is about preferences, Like we
are not either an extrovert or an introvert. I would
venture to say, like everybody's an ambrovert. We have a
(24:07):
preference for extroversion or introversion, but even as so, I'm
an extrovert, I have a preference for extroversion, but I
still do introverted things. I love my introverted things. And
you mark as an introverted type, like you still I
think enjoy being an extrovert. Like how long would it
(24:27):
take for you to be in your introverted world before
you feel like you have to interact with somebody? Like
how long would that take for you.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
Oh boy, I think I'm a strong introvert, Like I
think I could use by extrovertbal because you know, introvertse
not necessarily like they want to be by themselves, but
they want to be with a small selection of individuals
that are like that they can think deeply with or
talk deeply with. So even if you're dealing with an extrovert,
like I go to a dinner party or whatever, I
(24:58):
can't small talk. I don't really want a small talk,
and I need to improve in that area. But if
I have an extrovert like you to start off a
conversation and then somebody's talking on a topic that we
both can talk on, then I'm going to pair like
an extrovert, Like I'm gonna we're going to talk to
each other's airs off because we're talking about something that
we're both passionate about, and I enjoy that versus just
all talking about whatever. So I feel that like that,
(25:22):
what was it called ambrovert.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
An ambrovert, Yeah, that's there's a lot of discussion online,
Like when we talk about when we hear introvert and extrovert,
somebody inevitably chimes in and says well I'm an ambrovert
or you know, there's these articles or what if you're
not an invert or an extrovert, but you're an ambivert.
And it kind of it always makes me chuckle because
I'm like, well, yeah, all of us, all of us
(25:45):
have roverts.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
Really, you know. And what we're mentioning, even in this
cultural space space is sometimes you're so forced to be
a certain preference that you almost beakin to do it
naturally essentially right, like just because you've been doing it
so often. Yeah, it's like it's like very much like
(26:08):
one of the analogy I came with the amprovert is
like in basketball, and one of the things they try
to give you a start to figure out, like what
preferences are is we all prefer to either right, like
a certain way right. So the way I look at
it in basketball is we all prefer to be right
handed or left handed. When we shoot, we're right handed
or left handed. But if you're going to be a
good basketball player, you can't just be right handed because
(26:30):
people are going to take away your right hand. So
you developed your left hand and although it may not
be your preference, like, you still develop it. Now, what
happens if you're Kobe Bryant and you spend a significant
amount of time. Kobe Brian said he spent a whole
summer just taking left handed shots and just take using
his left hand. Well that he might get to a
point where he's naturally left handed too, because you spends
(26:53):
so much time in that space. And I think that's
kind of the whole where a lot of us and
people feel like they're the same in each way on
it's probably because you probably have been in a culture
that allowed you to develop your other preference as strongly
as your natural one. But I still think you do
something naturally one way, but sometimes our work in another
era can make us natural in another way too. What
(27:15):
are your thoughts about that?
Speaker 1 (27:16):
Yeah, for sure, for sure, Like you were saying, if
you do something long enough, it does become natural. And
I know when we're explaining the Meyers breaks, we often
use the same analogy that you were talking about with
basketball and be right hand or left hand. We do
it with handwriting too, so we each have a preference
for being left handed or right handed. And you know,
you just sign your name, you kind of do it
(27:37):
without thinking, and if you are asked to sign your
name with your non dominant hand, you know, take note
of how that feels. If somebody had started doing that
from an early age, it might be you know, a
little more natural for them, and it might come out
with a prettier signature, and other people might struggle if
(27:59):
they have not developed that ability themselves. And you know,
it works with all of the preferences too, So if
we think about moving away from like the extrovert or
introvert preference, intuitive and sensing here. So I've got a
theory about this one and about growing up. I have
(28:19):
a theory that it's intuitive children who have more imaginary friends.
So like, when I ask sensors whether or not they
had imaginary friends as children, like I get a lot
of weird looks. In fact, my significant other who is
a censor, you know, and I asked him this question.
(28:40):
He said, he looked at me like real weirdy. He's like, well, no,
of course I didn't have any imaginary friends. What are
you talking about. It was only the weird kids who
had the imaginary friends. And I mean, yeah, definitely that
was me because I had I had several imaginary friends.
But of course, being a sensing type like he's paying
(29:02):
attention to raw data, right, whatever he can see here, taste, touch,
or smell this sensory information and sensors. Again, they focus
on specifics and they deal with the real and the
practical and factual information. They are not interested in imaginary
concepts or theories. But you know, me and you on
(29:25):
the other hand, mark being intuitive types, we're focusing on
our sixth sense or our gut or hunches, and we're
looking beyond the fact. So we're looking at patterns and
hidden meetings, and we imagine what could happen in the future.
And we like metaphors and analogies. So sensing types, you know,
(29:47):
they prioritize being grounded and practical and straightforward. So imaginary friends,
they don't really fit very well into the preferred way
of the sensing type. So what are your thoughts about that?
Did you have any imaginary friends?
Speaker 2 (30:04):
Well, I guess in Jamaica where you couldn't have any note,
Oh you could, right, I mean I didn't have to
imagine every friends. But I think I was very imaginative,
like you know, just quite possibly trying to figure out
different ways of doing things and different solutions. Uh, and
you know it can be very hard because I do
think correct me if I'm wrong, if but this is
(30:26):
actually normally majority of the preferences are fifty to fifty splits,
but I think this one has where there's more sensors
than there are intuitives. If that is that true, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:35):
Yeah, absolutely so intuitive types were like more like a
quarter a quarter of the population, well quarter of the
population are going to be more intuitive types. But interestingly enough,
you're going to find this is highly correlated with career
choice too, so you're going to see more intuitives in
(30:57):
like higher education for example, where I think it's spread.
Some statistics here, but don't quote me on with listeners,
but yeah, there's some statistics out there that in higher
ed there's seventy five percent of college professors are intuitive types.
And it makes sense because the higher you move up
(31:18):
the education system, at least in our education system in
the in the US, there's more it becomes more theoretical,
so intuitive types are going to be more attuned to that,
and where you're going to get more sensing types and
careers in accounting also like public safety, where there's you know,
(31:38):
you have to pay attention to the facts and respond
there in the moment.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
Yeah, it kind of remember when we talked we had
that conversation about career choices. We talked about how important
it is to select environments that kind of speaks to
your your total types, but your individual preferences and obviously
the ends, the ends and the s's that's huge, Like
there's certain careers that really fit you really well, right,
(32:07):
But then not everybody has the ability to choose or
change their job to fit their personality type. So, I
know we've had several conversations about you being in the
corporate world and how does your I'm sure in the
corporate world I might be wrong, but at least yours
tend to be a little bit more sensing. How does
an intuitive work? How do you work through that? And
(32:29):
a culture of work that really really probably rewards those
that are more sensing type.
Speaker 1 (32:35):
Yeah, it's challenging. It's very challenging. But one thing that
I try to do is to I try to encourage
people to think about like future implications. So, yeah, let's
talk about the practical next steps we're going to take,
and let's think about you know, if we do X,
then what's going to be outcome of that? When I
(32:56):
am awarded the opportunity for brainstorming. I love coming up
with my clever new ideas here and I can come
up with solutions, creative solutions to problems. And you know,
I think actually my team appreciates that about me because
I've I've become kind of a go to person for, oh,
we need to have an idea for you know, this
(33:18):
new training program or this new initiative that we're doing,
and I think it's going to come up with some
great ideas to share with our employees for that. So
that's kind of a positive for that.
Speaker 2 (33:30):
Okay, so your workplace actually reward you with that, They
actually reward you order in order for you to do that.
Speaker 1 (33:37):
I'm I'm sure like rewarding is taken too far, but
I mean, I'm at least in my position, I'm able
to exercise that and that's very much a blessing.
Speaker 2 (33:49):
And do we need more workspaces to become that and
allow people's spaces where they can be themselves, because again,
the company benefits from that. It benefits to have new
ideas and everybody talks about innovation and being different. It's
important to value those individuals who are intuitive and really
see what they can offer your corporation absolutely. I know.
Speaker 1 (34:12):
I wish more workspaces would do that, because really you
do miss out on the innovation piece by stifling people.
And you know, we don't want to We don't want
to do that, of course. And you know it's kind
of the same with the thinking feeling dichotomy too. You know,
I would venture to say that growing up, my dad
was a definitely he's a feeler, feeling type. My mother's
(34:35):
more of a thinking type. My dad's still like very
emotional and sensitive values harmony, and my mom is much
less emotional, yeah, not always attuned to feelings, and she's
much more of an impersonal communicator, and you know, she
can be pretty blunt sometimes, and I definitely say that
(34:56):
she prioritizes rules and logic over people and feelings. So,
you know, as a feeling child, I'll say this was
kind of hard to deal with. I just I wanted
everybody to be happy. I still want everybody to be
and you know the other side of that is I
have to admit I want everyone to like me. I'm
(35:18):
am super super empathetic and I've always been super empathetic,
you know, and when you're a child, you don't always
have the cognitive skills to express this or understand it.
So that was a little challenging, I have to say,
for me with a thinking mom, I didn't always get
that my feelings were validated. And I think that's something
(35:39):
that thinking types may struggle with because you know, feelings,
feelings themselves are messy and they're they're not always logical.
But you know, educating ourselves about these differences, I think
can go a long way and helping kids and each
other to be more comfortable with our natural way of being.
Speaker 2 (35:57):
Like what you were saying, Mark, Yeah, it seems like
you had a very interesting dynamic in your house. We
talk about culture and how culture's impact on our personality.
A lot of times. We talk about how your dad
didn't seem to represent what we would normally think males
would be. We don't normally think in general males are
(36:18):
our feelers. And then your mom, I know, there's not
the stereotypical preference for females. She's a thinker, and it's
reversal here. Yeah, no question, talk to me about that
really large cultural dynamic that places on people who are
totally different, especially just the gender and the gender perspective.
Speaker 1 (36:41):
Yeah, I know, and that there's lots of implications for
that too, I think, because I mean, I'm sure you
as a as a feeling male, can appreciate this as well.
You know that it's it's not in a lot of cultures,
especially and probably in Jamaican culture too, it was not
appropriate for men to be emotional or to be feeling types.
(37:03):
And I've seen this with a lot of men who
are more naturally feeling types that they have to feel
like they have to project a certain image when they're
in public or whatever. And I think as we grow
and develop and we become more comfortable with ourselves, and
that often comes with maturity, right, we can find a
(37:24):
space eventually where we can walk this line and we
can be more comfortable with who we naturally are rather
than what society tells us we have to be or
what you know, our families have told us that we
have to be. We eventually hopefully reach this type of understanding.
Speaker 2 (37:44):
Especially when we begin to understand it's not wrong to
be something and it's not wrong to be a different
personality type than what people expect, you know, like if
you're right, for instance, I'll admit, like in my role
as a football coach, you don't, well, I mean, I
guess it's because it's got a lot of males in there.
Being a feeler. It's different, like you're not supposed to
(38:05):
be super duper emotional, even though a lot of my
thinkers are, like, it's funny how we mentioned like a
lot of our thinkers tend to react very emotionally to stuff.
But I think that falls outside of the of the
Myers brig personality stuff. I think this has to do
with a lot of unresolved issues that they have emotionally,
but as far as just like feeling for a kid,
(38:26):
like that's normally not the normal progression in general. And
I think what we have to understand is it's okay
to be who you are. How do we use each
other to reach our goal? Right? And so at knowing
that anytime we talk about our favorite coaches and our
favorite leaders, nobody ever says, men, I really like that cold,
(38:46):
self serving individual that was really mean. That was the
person that I really leaned towards. Like each individual that's
choosing their favorite coach or their favorite boss, they display
feeling sort of attributes, And so we have to understand
this works in order to get a certain behavior to
get a certain thing for to help us reach our
(39:10):
goals in general. So we just cannot continue to feel
bad about who we are. Like who you are is perfect.
How do you fit in those environments is where we need.
Speaker 1 (39:20):
To be looking absolutely, absolutely, And I wish that more
schools would encourage these conversations, more workplaces would encourage these conversations,
because this is I mean, you're going to get when
people are at their natural way of functioning and using
their preferences productively. This is when you're going to get
(39:42):
the best out of people. Right. So hopefully just by
having this episode out there for those of you who
are tuning in, who work in school settings and work
in corporate world and even with your families, you know,
just getting that knowledge and allow people to kind of
be who they are within reason. Of course, they are
(40:05):
going to perform beyond your expectations and they're going to
perform beyond their own expectations. And you know, as we
are wrapping things up here, I just want to say, like,
what a great conversation this was, Mark, And I want
to remind all of our listeners here about this concept
of preferences that we're not putting you into a box
(40:28):
with a Myers Briggs type. Right, it's this preference that
you know, sometimes I prefer like I prefer extraversion, but
I still do introverted things. So that's what we mean
by preferences here, and then how we may change over
time and how different circumstances and experiences we have in
life just cause us to change over time, but it
(40:50):
doesn't change who we are at our core. Right over
the years, we're going to take on traits of our opposites,
and type theory states that we're born with a certain
set of preferences and how they manifest and change over time.
It does happen, and behaving outside of our preferences may
be the rule rather than the exception. But you know,
(41:14):
at bottom line is we are constantly evolving as human
beings and we don't want to blame our personality faults
that we have or stresses that we're experiencing. So overall,
I think this was a great conversation, Mark and appreciate
hearing more about Jamaican culture and about your experiences here
with your family.
Speaker 2 (41:34):
That was really cool, absolutely, And the one thing I like
to add on to that, just based on the culture,
you know, one thing you said, don't allow your types
to define you know, to especially define who you are,
because you're a unique individual. And I would say the
same thing about culture, you know, don't let the culture
define who you are. I think what we can do
is learn how we interact in different cultures and how
(41:56):
those cultures impact our decision making, impact certain behaviors that
we have. The end of the day, we need to
choose kind of the type of person we want to
become and who we aspire to be and try to
live that particular life. These are just hints for us
to figure out what is the personality type, how we
(42:17):
might behave right or in our cultures, what might have
actually attributed to some of our behaviors, and why we
might act in certain ways. But when push comes to shove,
it's our decision as far as what type of individuals
we want to become. And I think that's really really
important for us to live that true authentic self that
we're all trying to become. So I think that's really
(42:38):
really important to add to absolutely.
Speaker 1 (42:40):
Yeah, well, said Mark, Yeah, yep. Thank you all for
tuning in to another great episode of Myers Braks Question
Corner Tune in next time for another great conversation, and
this is even then, Mark signing off.
Speaker 2 (43:02):
Thanks for tuning in, follow us on social media and
your favorite podcast.
Speaker 1 (43:07):
Platform, and please reach out to me on LinkedIn and
on my website at top career dot com for more
updated content. While the Myers Briggs and MBTI R trademarks
of the Meersbriggs Foundation viewpoints expressed here are our own
Speaker 3 (45:00):
At
Hi everyone. In this episode of the New Meyersburg Question Corner,
we are talking about culture and family and the environment
we grow up in and how all of these things
affected how we turned out as adults. And this gets
into one of the most common questions I get, which
(00:20):
is can my personality type change? And that's a loaded
question because there are a lot of what ifs that
go through my mind whenever someone asks me this question. So,
if you are tuning into this episode, think about yourself
and how your own family and friends and your environment
(00:40):
played into who you are now. And we'd love to
hear your story, So please leave us a comment, share
this episode on social media. I hope we can inspire
some thoughtful discussions in your own head with your loved ones.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Enjoy.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Wow. Welcome to the New Myers Briggs Question Corner. I'm
(01:21):
Edith Richards and I'm Mark Mappe, and we're here to
answer your questions about all things personality and all things
Myers Briggs.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
From college to careers to relationships. Personality is the key
to finding the right film.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Hi folks, hope you all are doing well. It is
a bright, sunshiny day here in the Washington, DC metro
and it is a really hot, hot summer this year.
Mark and the air quality just in my opinion, the
(02:12):
air quality has been really bad, unfortunately, at least around here.
So I have not been outside as much as I
normally am during the summer. But I'm still getting in
some much needed pool time, which is great to cool off.
And my other favorite activity, which is the beach, is
(02:32):
at least for me, going to have to wait for
a couple of months. So how is your summer going.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
I mean, my summer's fantastic. I'm a teacher, right, so
it doesn't matter what's going on. There could be an
alien invasion. Like I'm good because we're all for the summer.
So my summer's been fantastic. You know, you talk about
the air quality. I'm just thinking about you know how
this relates to personality type. I'm an introvert, so I
don't mind being inside. I don't have to be to
(03:00):
be outside at all. Like I could be by myself.
I'm that dude, that random dude at ihop at Denny's,
any local restaurant, just sitting by himself with like an
office like out there, like that's me. Like, because I'm
an introvert, and I don't mind doing that and being
away from social interaction, like and just deeply going into stuff.
So I love it and the you know, like as
(03:22):
I was saying, the summer is great not only just
as a teacher, but just for me as an IFP,
you know, like as an introvert. As we talked about,
like I don't have to interact with people like I
don't have to if I don't want to, Like as
a teacher, I have to, Like there's no escaping it.
There's going to be thirty kids in my class and
more than likely they're going to be bothering me, right,
(03:42):
and so I have to because I'm a feeler, I'm
going to have to care and love them up and
all that other stuff. So a lot of times I
talk about when I'm a teacher, like I literally look
at it and putting like a clown uniform on, Like
I spend my time during my breaks like frushing up
my makeup, putting my little nose on, putting the music
on behind. Because when I go out, it's a show, right,
(04:03):
because it's an introvert. As a teacher, I got to
put on a show, right, And so I don't have
to do that in the summer, Like if I don't
need to talk to somebody, I don't, I don't have to.
I can get involved with in a deep conversation if
I want. So it's great being an end I love it.
Like I can spend my whole summer figuring things out.
Like I can't do that as a teacher as much
(04:24):
because my energy is so drained, like by teaching because
I'm living in the e right, because I've got to
be an extrovert and I've got to be a censor
and focused on details because you know, God forbid you
do anything wrong in education, Like it's worse. So like
I'm drain so I don't have time to really do
(04:45):
the things that I really love, which is like trying
to figure out ways for kids to reach their potential
because that's my type. I'm such an ideal seeker and
want to see kids succeed and that sort of stuff.
And you know, my f I enjoy, like I'm able
to really abide by my values and really look at
ways that I can create systems to help kids succeed
(05:07):
and being able to do a lot of that stuff.
And so like I spend a lot of my time
during the summer trying to figure things out right and
trying to set up meetings because I think our schools
are at our capacity for the things that they can
do for our kids, and we need the community to
come alongside of our educational system and help our kids
(05:28):
get to where they need to go. So I spend
a lot of my summer meeting with people and trying
to figure out what those systems would look like in
order for kids to be successful. Like, one of my
major things is trying to figure out a way to
knock out distance between school and work and the ways
that we can have a more natural transition between school
and work. But here's the thing, if like I realize,
(05:49):
I suffer as a pee with that because now I
don't have the bells. Now, I don't have the organization.
Now I don't have the Google calendar that they require
me to use in schools in order to get myself organized.
So now I've got to jump into my jay heavy
to set myself up. Because it can be one o'clock
and I haven't done anything. I'm still reading and thinking
(06:11):
about something else to figure out. Like I have to say, okay,
from nine to one, you got to do this from
one to three, you have to have to be very organizing.
For the first time, I have a planner. I won't
use my planner during the school year because there's so
many things that already organized for me. But as a
p operating in a summer where I got to get
stuff done for these systems, I need to tap into
(06:33):
my jay and I know. And if we talked a
lot about like sometimes at work you feel like an
impostor because you have there's certain dichotomy types or certain
types that you have to become at your work in
order to become successful that are totally opposite of who
you are. Yes, I describe how the culture of your
(06:53):
work forces you to be somebody different.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
Yeah, and this is actually, you know what perfect seg
way into the topic for this week Mark, So gosh
that what you were just talking about here. There were
so many bits of information here that you were talking
about that I just but somehow, I don't know. I'm
stuck on the sitting in ihop or Denny's by yourself,
(07:18):
and I don't know, just being that I can just
picture you. Here's this lone guy just sitting there in
the restaurant by yourself doing your own thing. And you
know when you said that, the first thing that came
to my mind is like, wow, I don't know if
I would I would do that.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
I don't like going to a restaurant by myself and
if I see somebody like I automatically just think, oh,
that's sad, But you know the way that you describe it,
it's like, it's.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
Not sad at all. This is just what I want
to do. So you know, it's it's fine. So I
really like that. And you know what you were saying
about changing ourselves or morphing because of the work culture. Yeah,
I think a lot of people can relate to that,
right because our natural way of being it's just it's
(08:08):
not going to work in every situation. Like, we all
have things that we've got to work on, and thank God,
thank God for that, because it's just perfect what you
said here, Like, in order to get things done, I've
got to get myself organized.
Speaker 3 (08:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
I might not be the type of person who naturally
makes decisions quickly, but the decisions have to be made,
so I've got to exercise that judging part of myself.
And this is actually one of the most common questions
that I get. Can my personality type change or why
did my personality type change? So part of how personality
(08:48):
may manifest it may have to do with our culture,
or our family of origin, or the environment where we
grew up. And I thought it would be great for
us to talk about about the impact of our family
and our environment on our personalities today. So, Mark, how
do you think it shaped who you are as an
(09:10):
adult now? Your family and your your culture and environment
where you grew up.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
Well, I'll tell you a lot of my culture. So
I was born in Jamaica, moved to the United States
when I was five years old, but there's a there.
I think a lot of Jamaican culture like helped direct
how I live my life, or at least how I
should perceive how I should live my life. And one
of the big things in Jamaican culture. And that's just
speaking for a mind. I'm not speaking for all Jamaicans,
(09:36):
but this is just my perception of what I feel
like Jamaican culture is about. You know, Jamaican culture is
very big on creating a standards of how you should
be living your life, like who you should be like.
So Jamaican culture were big on politeness, being respectful, being intelligent,
or at least coming across as respectful and intelligent and confident,
(09:58):
you know, being confident in your inner actions with others,
having respect and concerned, speaking with confidence. It fits this
image of who you are as an individual. And I
know in my family that was big, like your ability
to speak up. You weren't allowed to not speak up, like,
you had to speak up, you had to share your opinion,
and you couldn't be long winded like because if you're
(10:21):
a long winded you're gonna get automatically cut off like
you could be succinctly like speak up with intelligence that
makes people say ah, because if you don't, somebody else
want to totally crush your point. Right. So when I
look at a large part and I see this, even
it's my brother, Like I'm an introvert in general, but
I think a large part of which is it's kind
(10:42):
of funny because although I'm an introvert, my brother, who's
an extrovert, was actually acting like what we think an
introvert would act like, which is very shy. Right, So
a lot of large part of my brother was very shadow.
I just don't think he was as confident in himself.
But a large part of it, Uh, speak up, like
talk up like that's one of our things that we
(11:03):
say in Jamaica, like talk up mine, that's our thing.
Talk can't we can't hear you, like even if you
if you don't come in immediately loud and like boisterous,
like you're gonna get like kind of ridiculed. Right. And
so my brother, like any opportunity had where you just
like he was thinking about something like he was crushed.
(11:23):
And so I can see for a natural introvert how
how that would struggle because you want to be able
to process your information before you speak, and Jamake, you
can't do that, like you got to speak and you
got to speak intelligently, right. And I think that's part
of the reason why I can operate in the extrovert world.
I can operate there because I just know how to
(11:43):
play the game like I know how to do it
because we've been forced to do that, and so I
can put on my extrovert hat and play it very well.
And that's why a lot of people will look at
me and they have no idea I'm an introvert because
I know how to play the game. Because largely because
of my Jamaican culture. You weren't allowed to think before
and if you were to think before, think way before
the event, like I think about what you want and
(12:07):
then when I'm ready to ask you the question, you
better have the answer, right.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
Right, So I got a question. Then, So if you
could type Jamaica like as a type, like as a
Myers Briggs type, what would you type Jamaica.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
As that's all our BT? I like nerds, Like how
great would it be to like type countries? Right?
Speaker 1 (12:26):
I mean those people literally like people do this so
like I have my own perceptions of that, but just
hearing you talk about because I I love Jamaican culture
and just love the people and everything. But yeah, what
do you what.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
Would you as I would say, if you're a parent,
which is who's kind of handing down the culture and
it's strong, it is E, it is S, it is T,
and it is J. No.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
What really?
Speaker 3 (12:54):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (12:55):
So they're like a lot of you have to follow
the rules, like follow the rules, speak up, do what
I tell you to do?
Speaker 2 (13:03):
Yes, But I mean that you just described jamaking parenting
like what has gone through that? Okay? Like we will
watch these reels like on the internet of Jamaican parents,
and it's so true. It's and here's the thing to look.
I'm not saying this is what these individuals are, but
as a parent, that's what the culture teaches you to be.
(13:26):
It is so overbearing. It is like so much like
you like to the point where you just give in,
you just relent. I'll behave because I'm just tired of
hearing it. Like it's just the expectations and what's expected
and all this other stuff. It's like, what do I
need to do just to let you just stop, to
just be quiet? And you can't say that, of course,
you got to say that inside. You can't, that can't
come out of your mouth. So yeah, I would say
(13:48):
they're very much how you describe them.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
Wow. But but like in day to day interactions and
stuff like, I don't get that everybody seems to be
much more laid back and it's like, nope, problem man,
you know, yeah it's Jamaica.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Just relax.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
It seems like in day to day life for me
at least.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Yeah, because we know that if you, uh, if we're
not that type, that you're not gonna come back, like
like if you're the Jamaican parent, like at these resorts,
like you're not gonna have nobody's coming back to your situation.
So like, yeah, like the whole idea of relaxed not
like very p oriented relax everything's gonna be Everything's gonna
be okay, Like not from the Jamaican parents. Jamaican parent
(14:30):
not everything's gonna be okay. You don't do a B
and C. There's a problem.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
It's almost like so they're also like putting on their
clown suits every day to just just a different type
of clown suit.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
I guess. So it's not really who they are. I
think you described and that's at least definitely my family, right,
and I'm willing to say the Matthey family, we know this, right,
and we have a lot of people in this Matthew family.
But like it is about like it's when it comes
down to it, it's about image. And so when you're
dealing with image, it forces you to put on different
(15:04):
personality site depended on the situation. So like they would
not expect you to act that way the way a
parent would if you were at a resort or interacting
with people. They wouldn't want you to all of a
sudden speak up. They want you to ask you us.
If you're a child, it's different right now, it's you
should be listening, you should be processing information. You don't talk.
(15:24):
You just talk what I tell you to talk.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
Oh my god, Wow.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
There's a different typing general.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
I mean as so as an I NFP child growing
up in that environment, like I mean, which is essentially
it's the antithesis of who you are, like you are
the opposite of that environment. So how do you think that, Like,
how did that affect you as an adult?
Speaker 2 (15:49):
I think it helped, right because I think it allowed
me to come up with how I can live differently
if I need to, so like what they call it,
like it's a shape, or like be a different person
if need be, Like I can play that game correctly
because of my natural I n I think I was
always very self reflective and understood what was going on.
(16:12):
So I understood what my dad was doing, Like I
understood that it was about images about that, so I knew, Okay,
now I'm playing the game right. But as I got
older and there wasn't a threat of severe punishment, I
would be more introvert, right, I would be more introverted,
where like I would be able to not voice my
opinion and say like that, give me a second to
(16:34):
think about it. Or in general, my dad's an introvert too,
so like he he's going to spend his time trying
to figure things out. So I can tell my mom, like, Mom,
just give me a second to figure it out. Now.
I have the ability to do that because I was
naturally self reflective and introspective with that. But I do
feel like if you're not that it can be very difficult.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
It can be Yeah, yeah, I can understand that. But
it's sounds like you know, you've been able as an
adult to find like the happy medium there, and like
you were saying, like when when you have to you
can go and do what you need to do and
project a certain image in certain situations, like you play
(17:14):
a role, but you know, left to your own devices,
like your own preferences, and you kind of need that
time to be yourself and be reflective and just do
your own thing, right, So you've been able to find
that balance.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
Yeah, absolutely, Like I said, I think it really did help.
I'm not suggesting that people that we force children to
act a certain way, but because I'm a person who
loves the win win situation. I think it's important that
I know how to become different to different people if
I want everybody to win, you know what I'm saying.
(17:50):
So like it's I think it's really really helped me
to be extrovert, like to that Jamaican culture help me
to become more extroverted, right, to narrow my thing and
to be succinct with my ideas. Like if you're in
a family discussion, like everybody's rolling with idea, Like there's
not a moment of silence. It's like I don't know
if you've ever seen like in like sometimes the cities,
(18:11):
people are doing double dutch and you kind of like
kind of jump in Like that's kind of how it
is in our family. Like you got to like gauge
and there's like a second of like quietness. You got
to come in there and you got to be succinct
right with what's going on. You're not going to be
able to have the time to elaborate on your points
and to really show that. And so it really has
helped me learn how to be succinct right and the
(18:33):
whole idea of making a decision, like there's not going
to be a lot of like I don't know, like
I got to really think about it's not gonna be
a lot of time of that, Like a decision needs
to be made and they're want to speak on that.
So it's really allowed me to do the things that
I don't really do well. I'm able to do that
kind of naturally.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
So so and I shouldn't feel bad about interrupting you.
Speaker 4 (18:53):
Then, no, no, in my very extroverted way, but yeah,
it's so funny just like listening to your to what
you're saying here, because in a lot of ways, I
had the.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Opposite experience growing up and being an extrovert in like
an introverted environment. Right, So I grew up on a farm.
I did not grow up in a neighborhood like a
lot of other kids of my era, And if I'm
being honest, I kind of feel like I missed out
on a lot of social interaction early on. Yeah, I
(19:27):
used to ask my parents all the time if we
could move, Can we move to a neighborhood like a
regular family, because and you know, thinking back on it, it's
because I wanted to be around more kids. I used
to not really enjoy the summertime too much because I
would get lonely and bored. I only had my sister
(19:48):
and our pets to play with. Yeah, if I'm being honest,
I felt like I was at a disadvantage when I
went to school. And I should also mention my mom
was pretty strict. We weren't allowed to watch much TV.
I don't even remember us we had this old like
when I was really young, we had just this black
and white TV and we didn't have cable, and so
(20:11):
I didn't have TV shows. I didn't have TV characters
to relate to either. So I feel like, at least
in those early years when I went to school, I
was the weird kid. I was the weird kid who
just could not interact the way the other kids were interacting.
So I felt really awkward honestly those first few years.
(20:34):
On the plus side, I did grow up in an
environment where I did learn to hone my creativity, and
to this day, I think that's one of my strongest skills.
I love to brainstorm. I love to come up with
clever new ideas, and I love to read, and that's
another thing my mother encouraged. And you know, on the
(20:55):
other hand, all of the activities that were encouraged were
introverted activities. And my mom is still to this day
super introverted. She does not like the house, she doesn't
like parties, she doesn't like going out anywhere. And I'm
not saying that's a bad thing, it's just who she is.
(21:16):
But I can't help thinking that if my extroversion were
encouraged a little bit more, would I be different? And
how would I be different? And so I want to say,
like I have honed my introversion, I'm very comfortable in
the introverted world, and in fact, I need that introverted
world more and more as I'm as I'm getting older,
(21:37):
for a certain amount of time, maybe a day, but
after a day of being at home by myself and
my own like, I'm ready to get out, Like I
need to get out, I need to interact with other
people other than my significant other and my cat.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
I should say, yeah, And if you make a really
really great point about the idea of how we can
interact in these other types right or these other preferences,
it's although it may not be something that's natural to us,
understanding of how to live in that life is actually
very very beneficial for us. And again, I don't know't
(22:15):
necessarily suggest that people live in that because you know
something that you've said, You've become very frustrated in the
corporate world because it doesn't really match your your typing,
it probably doesn't allow you to reach your potential. But
knowing how to play that game, knowing how to live
in that space in moments, can actually help you really
really succeed in almost any situation. So I think that's
(22:38):
really really important.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
Yeah, you know, I mentioned you know, I was kind
of joking about interrupting you before, but it was as
you were talking about that in the family you grew
up in and how you kind of always you have
to if there's just one little nanosecond of silence, like
somebody has to fill it, right, And in my family,
it's rude, like it was considered very rude to interrupt somebody.
(23:02):
And I've still taken this to my adulthood, like I
don't like to interrupt people. I want to let them finish,
and I really want to tune in to hear what
somebody else is saying before I chime in with my
own thoughts here. And it's funny because you know, and
I have been mistaken more than once as an introvert,
(23:23):
and I think it's just because I've been comfortable, like
I've learned to be comfortable in that world. And it's
to the point it's hard to believe this now, and
I think a lot of people wouldn't believe it. But
I was nominated shyest in my high school class. And
you know, people who know me now they would or
ever know, they would never suspect this. But I got
(23:46):
very comfortable in the world of introverts from the time
I was young, and I'm still comfortable by myself. So
this goes to show this is about preferences, Like we
are not either an extrovert or an introvert. I would
venture to say, like everybody's an ambrovert. We have a
(24:07):
preference for extroversion or introversion, but even as so, I'm
an extrovert, I have a preference for extroversion, but I
still do introverted things. I love my introverted things. And
you mark as an introverted type, like you still I
think enjoy being an extrovert. Like how long would it
(24:27):
take for you to be in your introverted world before
you feel like you have to interact with somebody? Like
how long would that take for you.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
Oh boy, I think I'm a strong introvert, Like I
think I could use by extrovertbal because you know, introvertse
not necessarily like they want to be by themselves, but
they want to be with a small selection of individuals
that are like that they can think deeply with or
talk deeply with. So even if you're dealing with an extrovert,
like I go to a dinner party or whatever, I
(24:58):
can't small talk. I don't really want a small talk,
and I need to improve in that area. But if
I have an extrovert like you to start off a
conversation and then somebody's talking on a topic that we
both can talk on, then I'm going to pair like
an extrovert, Like I'm gonna we're going to talk to
each other's airs off because we're talking about something that
we're both passionate about, and I enjoy that versus just
all talking about whatever. So I feel that like that,
(25:22):
what was it called ambrovert.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
An ambrovert, Yeah, that's there's a lot of discussion online,
Like when we talk about when we hear introvert and extrovert,
somebody inevitably chimes in and says well I'm an ambrovert
or you know, there's these articles or what if you're
not an invert or an extrovert, but you're an ambivert.
And it kind of it always makes me chuckle because
I'm like, well, yeah, all of us, all of us
(25:45):
have roverts.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
Really, you know. And what we're mentioning, even in this
cultural space space is sometimes you're so forced to be
a certain preference that you almost beakin to do it
naturally essentially right, like just because you've been doing it
so often. Yeah, it's like it's like very much like
(26:08):
one of the analogy I came with the amprovert is
like in basketball, and one of the things they try
to give you a start to figure out, like what
preferences are is we all prefer to either right, like
a certain way right. So the way I look at
it in basketball is we all prefer to be right
handed or left handed. When we shoot, we're right handed
or left handed. But if you're going to be a
good basketball player, you can't just be right handed because
(26:30):
people are going to take away your right hand. So
you developed your left hand and although it may not
be your preference, like, you still develop it. Now, what
happens if you're Kobe Bryant and you spend a significant
amount of time. Kobe Brian said he spent a whole
summer just taking left handed shots and just take using
his left hand. Well that he might get to a
point where he's naturally left handed too, because you spends
(26:53):
so much time in that space. And I think that's
kind of the whole where a lot of us and
people feel like they're the same in each way on
it's probably because you probably have been in a culture
that allowed you to develop your other preference as strongly
as your natural one. But I still think you do
something naturally one way, but sometimes our work in another
era can make us natural in another way too. What
(27:15):
are your thoughts about that?
Speaker 1 (27:16):
Yeah, for sure, for sure, Like you were saying, if
you do something long enough, it does become natural. And
I know when we're explaining the Meyers breaks, we often
use the same analogy that you were talking about with
basketball and be right hand or left hand. We do
it with handwriting too, so we each have a preference
for being left handed or right handed. And you know,
you just sign your name, you kind of do it
(27:37):
without thinking, and if you are asked to sign your
name with your non dominant hand, you know, take note
of how that feels. If somebody had started doing that
from an early age, it might be you know, a
little more natural for them, and it might come out
with a prettier signature, and other people might struggle if
(27:59):
they have not developed that ability themselves. And you know,
it works with all of the preferences too, So if
we think about moving away from like the extrovert or
introvert preference, intuitive and sensing here. So I've got a
theory about this one and about growing up. I have
(28:19):
a theory that it's intuitive children who have more imaginary friends.
So like, when I ask sensors whether or not they
had imaginary friends as children, like I get a lot
of weird looks. In fact, my significant other who is
a censor, you know, and I asked him this question.
(28:40):
He said, he looked at me like real weirdy. He's like, well, no,
of course I didn't have any imaginary friends. What are
you talking about. It was only the weird kids who
had the imaginary friends. And I mean, yeah, definitely that
was me because I had I had several imaginary friends.
But of course, being a sensing type like he's paying
(29:02):
attention to raw data, right, whatever he can see here, taste, touch,
or smell this sensory information and sensors. Again, they focus
on specifics and they deal with the real and the
practical and factual information. They are not interested in imaginary
concepts or theories. But you know, me and you on
(29:25):
the other hand, mark being intuitive types, we're focusing on
our sixth sense or our gut or hunches, and we're
looking beyond the fact. So we're looking at patterns and
hidden meetings, and we imagine what could happen in the future.
And we like metaphors and analogies. So sensing types, you know,
(29:47):
they prioritize being grounded and practical and straightforward. So imaginary friends,
they don't really fit very well into the preferred way
of the sensing type. So what are your thoughts about that?
Did you have any imaginary friends?
Speaker 2 (30:04):
Well, I guess in Jamaica where you couldn't have any note,
Oh you could, right, I mean I didn't have to
imagine every friends. But I think I was very imaginative,
like you know, just quite possibly trying to figure out
different ways of doing things and different solutions. Uh, and
you know it can be very hard because I do
think correct me if I'm wrong, if but this is
(30:26):
actually normally majority of the preferences are fifty to fifty splits,
but I think this one has where there's more sensors
than there are intuitives. If that is that true, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:35):
Yeah, absolutely so intuitive types were like more like a
quarter a quarter of the population, well quarter of the
population are going to be more intuitive types. But interestingly enough,
you're going to find this is highly correlated with career
choice too, so you're going to see more intuitives in
(30:57):
like higher education for example, where I think it's spread.
Some statistics here, but don't quote me on with listeners,
but yeah, there's some statistics out there that in higher
ed there's seventy five percent of college professors are intuitive types.
And it makes sense because the higher you move up
(31:18):
the education system, at least in our education system in
the in the US, there's more it becomes more theoretical,
so intuitive types are going to be more attuned to that,
and where you're going to get more sensing types and
careers in accounting also like public safety, where there's you know,
(31:38):
you have to pay attention to the facts and respond
there in the moment.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
Yeah, it kind of remember when we talked we had
that conversation about career choices. We talked about how important
it is to select environments that kind of speaks to
your your total types, but your individual preferences and obviously
the ends, the ends and the s's that's huge, Like
there's certain careers that really fit you really well, right,
(32:07):
But then not everybody has the ability to choose or
change their job to fit their personality type. So, I
know we've had several conversations about you being in the
corporate world and how does your I'm sure in the
corporate world I might be wrong, but at least yours
tend to be a little bit more sensing. How does
an intuitive work? How do you work through that? And
(32:29):
a culture of work that really really probably rewards those
that are more sensing type.
Speaker 1 (32:35):
Yeah, it's challenging. It's very challenging. But one thing that
I try to do is to I try to encourage
people to think about like future implications. So, yeah, let's
talk about the practical next steps we're going to take,
and let's think about you know, if we do X,
then what's going to be outcome of that? When I
(32:56):
am awarded the opportunity for brainstorming. I love coming up
with my clever new ideas here and I can come
up with solutions, creative solutions to problems. And you know,
I think actually my team appreciates that about me because
I've I've become kind of a go to person for, oh,
we need to have an idea for you know, this
(33:18):
new training program or this new initiative that we're doing,
and I think it's going to come up with some
great ideas to share with our employees for that. So
that's kind of a positive for that.
Speaker 2 (33:30):
Okay, so your workplace actually reward you with that, They
actually reward you order in order for you to do that.
Speaker 1 (33:37):
I'm I'm sure like rewarding is taken too far, but
I mean, I'm at least in my position, I'm able
to exercise that and that's very much a blessing.
Speaker 2 (33:49):
And do we need more workspaces to become that and
allow people's spaces where they can be themselves, because again,
the company benefits from that. It benefits to have new
ideas and everybody talks about innovation and being different. It's
important to value those individuals who are intuitive and really
see what they can offer your corporation absolutely. I know.
Speaker 1 (34:12):
I wish more workspaces would do that, because really you
do miss out on the innovation piece by stifling people.
And you know, we don't want to We don't want
to do that, of course. And you know it's kind
of the same with the thinking feeling dichotomy too. You know,
I would venture to say that growing up, my dad
was a definitely he's a feeler, feeling type. My mother's
(34:35):
more of a thinking type. My dad's still like very
emotional and sensitive values harmony, and my mom is much
less emotional, yeah, not always attuned to feelings, and she's
much more of an impersonal communicator, and you know, she
can be pretty blunt sometimes, and I definitely say that
(34:56):
she prioritizes rules and logic over people and feelings. So,
you know, as a feeling child, I'll say this was
kind of hard to deal with. I just I wanted
everybody to be happy. I still want everybody to be
and you know the other side of that is I
have to admit I want everyone to like me. I'm
(35:18):
am super super empathetic and I've always been super empathetic,
you know, and when you're a child, you don't always
have the cognitive skills to express this or understand it.
So that was a little challenging, I have to say,
for me with a thinking mom, I didn't always get
that my feelings were validated. And I think that's something
(35:39):
that thinking types may struggle with because you know, feelings,
feelings themselves are messy and they're they're not always logical.
But you know, educating ourselves about these differences, I think
can go a long way and helping kids and each
other to be more comfortable with our natural way of being.
Speaker 2 (35:57):
Like what you were saying, Mark, Yeah, it seems like
you had a very interesting dynamic in your house. We
talk about culture and how culture's impact on our personality.
A lot of times. We talk about how your dad
didn't seem to represent what we would normally think males
would be. We don't normally think in general males are
(36:18):
our feelers. And then your mom, I know, there's not
the stereotypical preference for females. She's a thinker, and it's
reversal here. Yeah, no question, talk to me about that
really large cultural dynamic that places on people who are
totally different, especially just the gender and the gender perspective.
Speaker 1 (36:41):
Yeah, I know, and that there's lots of implications for
that too, I think, because I mean, I'm sure you
as a as a feeling male, can appreciate this as well.
You know that it's it's not in a lot of cultures,
especially and probably in Jamaican culture too, it was not
appropriate for men to be emotional or to be feeling types.
(37:03):
And I've seen this with a lot of men who
are more naturally feeling types that they have to feel
like they have to project a certain image when they're
in public or whatever. And I think as we grow
and develop and we become more comfortable with ourselves, and
that often comes with maturity, right, we can find a
(37:24):
space eventually where we can walk this line and we
can be more comfortable with who we naturally are rather
than what society tells us we have to be or
what you know, our families have told us that we
have to be. We eventually hopefully reach this type of understanding.
Speaker 2 (37:44):
Especially when we begin to understand it's not wrong to
be something and it's not wrong to be a different
personality type than what people expect, you know, like if
you're right, for instance, I'll admit, like in my role
as a football coach, you don't, well, I mean, I
guess it's because it's got a lot of males in there.
Being a feeler. It's different, like you're not supposed to
(38:05):
be super duper emotional, even though a lot of my
thinkers are, like, it's funny how we mentioned like a
lot of our thinkers tend to react very emotionally to stuff.
But I think that falls outside of the of the
Myers brig personality stuff. I think this has to do
with a lot of unresolved issues that they have emotionally,
but as far as just like feeling for a kid,
(38:26):
like that's normally not the normal progression in general. And
I think what we have to understand is it's okay
to be who you are. How do we use each
other to reach our goal? Right? And so at knowing
that anytime we talk about our favorite coaches and our
favorite leaders, nobody ever says, men, I really like that cold,
(38:46):
self serving individual that was really mean. That was the
person that I really leaned towards. Like each individual that's
choosing their favorite coach or their favorite boss, they display
feeling sort of attributes, And so we have to understand
this works in order to get a certain behavior to
get a certain thing for to help us reach our
(39:10):
goals in general. So we just cannot continue to feel
bad about who we are. Like who you are is perfect.
How do you fit in those environments is where we need.
Speaker 1 (39:20):
To be looking absolutely, absolutely, And I wish that more
schools would encourage these conversations, more workplaces would encourage these conversations,
because this is I mean, you're going to get when
people are at their natural way of functioning and using
their preferences productively. This is when you're going to get
(39:42):
the best out of people. Right. So hopefully just by
having this episode out there for those of you who
are tuning in, who work in school settings and work
in corporate world and even with your families, you know,
just getting that knowledge and allow people to kind of
be who they are within reason. Of course, they are
(40:05):
going to perform beyond your expectations and they're going to
perform beyond their own expectations. And you know, as we
are wrapping things up here, I just want to say, like,
what a great conversation this was, Mark, And I want
to remind all of our listeners here about this concept
of preferences that we're not putting you into a box
(40:28):
with a Myers Briggs type. Right, it's this preference that
you know, sometimes I prefer like I prefer extraversion, but
I still do introverted things. So that's what we mean
by preferences here, and then how we may change over
time and how different circumstances and experiences we have in
life just cause us to change over time, but it
(40:50):
doesn't change who we are at our core. Right over
the years, we're going to take on traits of our opposites,
and type theory states that we're born with a certain
set of preferences and how they manifest and change over time.
It does happen, and behaving outside of our preferences may
be the rule rather than the exception. But you know,
(41:14):
at bottom line is we are constantly evolving as human
beings and we don't want to blame our personality faults
that we have or stresses that we're experiencing. So overall,
I think this was a great conversation, Mark and appreciate
hearing more about Jamaican culture and about your experiences here
with your family.
Speaker 2 (41:34):
That was really cool, absolutely, And the one thing I like
to add on to that, just based on the culture,
you know, one thing you said, don't allow your types
to define you know, to especially define who you are,
because you're a unique individual. And I would say the
same thing about culture, you know, don't let the culture
define who you are. I think what we can do
is learn how we interact in different cultures and how
(41:56):
those cultures impact our decision making, impact certain behaviors that
we have. The end of the day, we need to
choose kind of the type of person we want to
become and who we aspire to be and try to
live that particular life. These are just hints for us
to figure out what is the personality type, how we
(42:17):
might behave right or in our cultures, what might have
actually attributed to some of our behaviors, and why we
might act in certain ways. But when push comes to shove,
it's our decision as far as what type of individuals
we want to become. And I think that's really really
important for us to live that true authentic self that
we're all trying to become. So I think that's really
(42:38):
really important to add to absolutely.
Speaker 1 (42:40):
Yeah, well, said Mark, Yeah, yep. Thank you all for
tuning in to another great episode of Myers Braks Question
Corner Tune in next time for another great conversation, and
this is even then, Mark signing off.
Speaker 2 (43:02):
Thanks for tuning in, follow us on social media and
your favorite podcast.
Speaker 1 (43:07):
Platform, and please reach out to me on LinkedIn and
on my website at top career dot com for more
updated content. While the Myers Briggs and MBTI R trademarks
of the Meersbriggs Foundation viewpoints expressed here are our own
Speaker 3 (45:00):
At
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