Episode Transcript
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(00:28):
Welcome to the Great Detectives of OldTime Radio from Boise, Idaho. This
is your host, Adam Graham.If you have a comment, feel free
to email me Box thirteen at GreatDetectives dot net. Be sure to cast
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(00:50):
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(01:14):
book for trying it. Go toAudible podcast dot com slash Oldtime Radio to
begin your free trial. Let's getinto today's episode of Neural wolf The Case
of the Disappearing Diamond Ladies and Gentlemen. The ringing about phonebell brings you a
mystery adventure. Nero Wolfe's office ActuallyGoodwin speaking Willie Inch. Did you say
(01:38):
just a second, do you wantto talk to a fellow named Willie Inch,
which I doubt no. He sayshe's got to see you, got
to who is he? Last?Mister Wolf doesn't recognize your name, mister,
and she wants to know who youare. Just second, I'll tell
him. Mister Inch says he's asneak thief. He says you never heard
of him, but he's heard ofyou. Should I tell him to get
lost me in a minute? Ado you ask him when he an inch?
(02:00):
Mister Wolf wants to know what youwant to say? Aim about a
phony murder rapp This is a phonymurder rap have to be honey mean phony?
I mean did you ever heard ofa sneak heat committing murder if it
could possibly be avoided? Yes?Are you dare? Mister Angel? I
listened to his journey, Ladies andgentlemen. It's that renowned genius who is
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the bulkiest, balkiest, most ponderousand most brilliant detective in the world.
Yes, none other than that chairbornemass of unpredictable intellect, Nero Wolf,
created by Rex Stout and brought toyou in a new series of Adventures of
This NBC Network and the person ofmister Sidney Greenstreet well, mister wolf and
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I talk about this little difficulty.He calls it the case of Archie Goodwin
and how he got hooked. However, I call it the case of the
Disappearing Diamonds. I prefer my title, he prefers his. Anyhow, it
started with an improbable character named WillieInch. There'll be a sneak fee,
Virgie. You ready mean? Okay? Boss? Okay? Inch? Yeah,
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come in in there. I'll followyou. Mister wolf this is your
client. Yeah, as new assixty six? Where are you here,
mister Inch? This ought to becomfortable. We're in this danger. Look,
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mister Wolfe, they're gonna claim thatI killed a woman I never even
touched, and I'm gonna fry forsomething I've never even done. All right,
mister Range, how did you cureI didn't? I didn't. I
never kill nobody in my life,mister Innge, you see her a thief?
Can you prove it? I gota record? Why I was wondering
about that bargin your party? Ohoh, here it's a it's a silver
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cigarette ladder at it? I guessit? Sort that's dropped into my pocket
as I was going by. Yousee, you see the way it happened.
Never mind him as benge. Nowtell me how you didn't kill a
woman for whose murder you would fry. Well, well, mister Wolfs,
it was like this. There wasa window half open, you see,
and I happen to crawl inside thehouse. But hey, now this this
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is just between us, ain't it? Possibly? How do you mean explain,
Archie? Mister Wolfe said, possibly. Oh well, okay, So
I happened to find myself in thebedroom. See so I happened to sort
of roam around, and I hearthere's like a party going on, you
know, people and muse it.So I locked the door. So go
on, let him carry his ownway, Archie, I'm his inch.
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So that's mistake I make. MaybeI leave my fingerprints on the door,
so later I didn't get yourself knockedoff in the same room and they look
for fingerprints and they find mine.I'm it. That's all I've got a
record. So so the chair Isee pitif a case, isn't it,
Argie, very very morningful inch.Yes, I presume you came away with
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some souvenirs. Oh nothing, Itwasn't worth the trouble, you know,
just odds and ends junk. Haveyou got the junk with you? Yeah?
That here see gore head case,platinum night go Vanity caves go.
That's it. That's all positively jumpthe man says ay Prami's nudding was the
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inche but it made me better ofyou to truth me you. Oh well
when square cut Emerald ring, Ijust happened to find it. It's up
more a peuter ashtray. Look,the room is dark. I can't see
piles of coats on the beds,and hats and handbags. I take what
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I find. Why didn't you turnon the nights one of these big standing
lamps? You know what I mean? I bump into it and it scares
the living. I mean it scaresme, Joe, I turned the switch.
It don't work. Rgie. Thatsounds like the law boss. Hello,
stay right where you are with hee. I suggest there is a way
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to find out, aren't you Okay, okay, we don't want any good
morning Goodwin. You remember me yourold friend, Inspector Craman. Two gentlemen
with me are also with the departmentpearl in Ostrakovich. May we come in?
What do you want? We wantto murderer and we want some rocks
worth two hundred and fifty grand.Does that answer your question? What makes
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you think you'll find all those goodieshere? Come in? Man, we
know Willie Inches here? Where ishe? In just a second, we're
coming with you. Good one,okay, Inspector, come along, Ergie
the law, that's Willie Inch Friskin. No weapons, okay, just put
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the cup hunting spagod creaming. Ohyes, hello, Wolf, I want
to tell you something about this manwhom you and you are, man are
so bravely captured in my office.You don't need to tell me about him,
Wolf, We know about him.Yes, we know he killed missus
Blarne's Avery March and stripped a quarterof a million worth of diamonds. Open.
That's all we need to know.I didn't do no such a thing.
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Where's the ice, Willie? I'venever ever seen, not honest?
Take him away, boys, I'llmake the charge when I get back to
my office. Hey, mister Wolfske, I ain't done nothing. I'd tell
you SPoD creamer. Yeah, I'mgonna have a little talk now, aren't
we you've necessary? How do youmean, plain, Argie A mister Wolf
means you're going to have a littletalk if necessary. Very funny. I
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will now draw up a chair andshow you why it's necessary in the first
place. Two hundred and fifty thousanddollars worth of diamonds makes it necessary.
Rgie, if you please about thebeer? Okay, will the inspect her
name is poison. You know Inever drink on duty, and yes for
me, Agie breed on my way. While I opened a bottle of imported
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beer. It occurred to me thatI had something to be grateful for.
At least I wasn't in Willie inchesenormous shoes. And as I went back
to the office, I had timeto wonder why mister Wolfe would stick his
fat neck out for no good likeWillie, Hey, you are gean and
sit down. Archie. Inspective Creamerhas a theory that may amuse you.
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They're all Wolfe's office. Let's foryour inspective creamer. Yeah, a gold
cigarette holding that's all okay? Inspeaker, do you realize that you've already
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taken a greed here in my timenotching, Yes, inspect the great mister
Wolfers and I had a theory thatmight amuse you, which you can't hear
it, I can hardly wait.Okay, my theory is that both Wolf
and you were receivers, are stolenproperty and possibly guilty of murder conspiracy.
So far you got me in stitches. Will Inch with a record as long
as your arm robs the home ofMissus Clarence Avery March, She strangles it
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with a soap scarf, takes thediamond she's wearing, grabs everything else that's
lying around. And then what thisis a question, I'll tell you what
he will do? You listen.Then Inch brings the stuff here, the
stuff that's piled on Wolf's desk,and the diamonds. You want me to
tell you where the diamonds are.They're in that safe right there in speak
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the cream. I know nothing aboutthe diamonds. Yeah, knocked in the
sea and and not in the house. Now you can take my word for
it, or you can't get asearch. You aren't to make a fool
of yourself. I'm going to havelunch. By two o'clock, the newspapers
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were full of the murder of MissusFlorin Savory March. The suspect was already
in custody, caught at the homeof Nero Wolf, well known private investigators.
Some of the stolen jewelry had beenrecovered, but not the diamonds.
Then we had a visit from misterAnson Stark, who had opened Missus March's
door and found her dead. Starkwas a big athletic guy of about thirty
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or so, with the large capablehands of a surgeon or a laboratory worker.
He seemed annoyed at the inconvenience wecaused him, but that was only
natural. That's the story, misterWolf. I don't see how I can
add anything more to it. Yeah, you had known Missus Matchess every years
and casually when you broke the dooropen or was it difficult? Not very
You were the first into the room. There are three or four of us
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we put stend together. You sawthe body here, Missus March. Immediately
she was lying across the bed thatwas heaped with coats and hats and hand
bags. You knew she was dead, of course, not. In fact,
somebody else discovered that she had beenchoked to death. And who discovered
that the diamonds were gone? Idon't know. I didn't with the many
diamonds, mister Starg, No,just a few but big ones. She
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wore them on a pendant around herneck. Mister Stark, I want to
thank you again for having me insu patient. I have impatient, mister
Wolf. I have my own businessto attend to. Would you? Oh?
I have a small but hopeful enterpriseelectronics tubes for radio and television,
mostly experimental. Well that reminds me, mister Stock. When you entered the
bedroom, was the light on oroff? Let me see? Of course
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it was on. It must havebeen on. Why just curiosity, mister
Star. Oh? Anything more?That's all except thank you for coming here.
Chie, will you take mister Starkto the door. Missus Dark departed
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like a man who's been delayed bya petty annoyance. A few minutes later
at the door, but I wentexpecting anything, anything, but what was
standing on the threshold when I openedup a honey blonde, or, to
put another way, a blonde honey. I said hello, No more like
hello are you mister Wolf? I'mhis assistant, aren't you goodwan? What
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can we do for you? I'mvery lad and I'm actie good Or did
I tell you that? Well,that's exactly where I came in. Well,
I mean where I thought you weregoing to ask me to come in?
Oh, come in, come in? I'm sorry? Hell? Is
he here? Wolf? Does heknow you? No? Is he expecting
you? No? I see?Of course you don't see, do you.
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Well? This isn't mister good.And I'm a writer. I may
not look like it, but that'swhat I am. And I want to
do a profile a character studying misterWolf for a magazine. Oh well,
what's wrong? Well, you seethere's a writer named Rex Stout. Oh,
I know he's written a lot aboutyour old Wolf. But can't I
write about him too? I don'tknow if he's gonna like it, but
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you can't be shot for trying.Come on, mister Wolf, as Valerie
Lad heard him even at Rising,Miss Lad, it is not impolite,
It is nearly impracticable. Miss Laddwants to write about you for magazine.
Please, mister Wolf, mister wolfe, if I could just spend a few
hours with you, that would beenough. Indeed, Oh, yes,
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have you written, merchy, MissLadd? Dream? You know? The
habits of writers interest me? Thehabit, yeah, the writing habits.
For instance, do you use apen or a pencil? You dictate or
like most writers, do you doyour own typing? Mister Wolf? If
you knew the hours and days andyears that I've pouted the typewriter, good
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Agie? Yes, Si right?Didn't you take me as that apenzure of
the orchids? You never know aboutNero Wolf, at least I never do.
This was something I would have beenagainst a thousand to one. You
couldn't understand that. I certainly couldn'tcomplain, Archie. Look at this one?
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Oh, did you ever see anythingso gorgeous? Very pretty? They're
all just beyond belief? Yeah?Did you not even looking at the march?
Oh? Archie? Are you alwayslike it? What do you mean
like this? Whoa so so distant? Do you occupy? You got me
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wrong completely? I was thinking,oh, yeah, about telephone number,
the lovely thing to think about.What can you think about telephone number?
I was thinking how some girls havethem and some go oh, Archie,
I apologize for what I did.Have you wrong? You're not a bit
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distant. I can be a lotcloser than this, hunt, But that's
well a number. Oh, it'sit's in a book. Yeah, I
wonder doubt as if you don't believeme? Oh, I believe you.
But there's a telephone book. Yeah, let's look it up together, shall
i, Archie? Yeah, I'mafraid I lied to you. I was
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afraid of that too. Are youangry? Well? I can take no
for an answer, honey, evenwhen it's hard to take, aren't you.
I've changed my mind. I wantyou to have my number and I
want you to use it too.You know, Honey, I'm beginning to
take an interest in this dialogue.Let's say, okay, Olympia nine three
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six five nine, and a veryvery pretty number. It is Valerie glad
to Olympia nine three six five nine, honey, blind, gorgeous spelled gorgeous?
There. What are we doing tonight? Olympia nine? And I said
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that you were distant and preoccupied.We were talking about tonight, all right,
Archie, Yes, I'd love it. Oh, these orchids are really
beyond belief and you won't even lookat them. True, I'm too busy
looking at you. How do Ilook, Archie? Beyond belief, honey,
beyond belief? Well, there goesthe good one. Luck again.
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It's a housebollpartment, yes, sir, okay, he wants us to come
down Archie. Yes, dude,even if he says no, we still
have a date, honey, thoughthe heavens fall. When we entered the
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office, mister Wolfe was browning overa sheet of letter paper in his hand.
He looked up and tossed the paperto me. That is a peculiar
thing, Archie, did sheet havelet a paper? Just a ride?
She's a miss Lad is interested indetection. Jar to her? Thank you,
but with some sort of code,isn't it q W E R T
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y U IOP that's all? Whatdo you suppose to mean? You're kidding
Archie? Oh? Did I saysomething wrong? No? No, no,
no, he is Lad. I'msorry, but I'm afraid I haven't
time for an interview. Just now. Goodbye, miss Lad. Oh but
mister Wolfe, goodbye. I saygoodbye to mister wolf and let's go on
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goodbye. That's the way things canbe around here. Oh, here's the
door, and shall we? Shallwe pause for station identification? I'll wipe
it off, Archie. Yeah?Thanks? What happened Archie? Yes?
(18:08):
Indeed, yeah, mister wolf Imean, oh, why do you suddenly
want me to go? Well,I'll tell you though I don't know whether
I should that that code message heshowed you. Yes, Quirk, you
up? You remember? Sure?Because I use a typewriter left to right.
It's the first bank of letters onany typewriter. I see. It
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was a test, you flunted,Baby, You're no writer, Archie.
I can explain tonight. Tonight,Archie. You do believe me, don't
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you? Archie? Of course,baby, of course, looks jest.
I was there at the party anyonewhen poor Florence was murdered. Then I
read in the paper about well howthey caught the man at near a wolves.
And I always wanted to be awriter, so I thought if I
could get an exclusive interviewing well,that would be a good way to start
my career, wouldn't Yes, yes, yes, would uh? Pardon me
(19:18):
a second with you, Valerie.I gotta make a phone call. There's
a booth of long we take amanage near a wolf speaking. I'm at
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the reviero with Valerie lad. Iam happy for your Archie. I will
remind you that I have not seenyou since Valerie left the house. I
was at the ras occupied Argie withOrchid. What do you want, Archie?
Look with that typewriter? Gag youpractically told me she was a bony,
didn't you? Girls? Of course? Just for the record, how
(20:02):
did you know? Have you lookedat her fingernaires? Never? That's the
typewriter in her life. I wantedto be sure. Okay, now,
now do you want me to tellyou something? You mean that you're charming
companion? Vetterie. It was atthe party when missus Match's murder. How
did you know that, simple argie? I got a list of the gifts
from means Victor Kreamer. Among themwas the name of Vetterie Ladway, simple
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lady lad Yeah, sure, okay, What am I supposed to do about
it? Just hang on, gjust hang on. I went back to
the honey blonde, a beautiful phonyValerie lad Ladway. I mean, I
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went back to the table where sheshould have been, but she wasn't there.
I sat down and waited, lookedat my watch. Eleven twenty four,
eleven thirty two, no, missLadway, eleven forty five. I
finally realized that not only Valerie,but her coat and bag were also absent.
I called the waiter, Yes,sir, what happened to my friend?
The young lady left? Some time? It was sir, Okay,
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give me the bill. She paidit, sir. She did, yes,
sir. In fact, she saidyou gave her the money for it.
Yeah. Wait a minute, Waita minute. No, I didn't
know it, but she is certainlyright. Oh well, Archie, this
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is most thoughtless. Are you sorry? I lost my keys, my money
too, your keys, Archie?Yeah, glad you were still up.
You lost miss lad Way too.Definitely. I'm going to bed. Good
night, Iging. You think it'sfunny, don't you, Yes, Archie,
yes, yes, good night misterWarren. Agie. Yeah, before
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you retire, wend Thing opened thesafe with you and leave it open.
Why because there's nothing any of importanceand it's a valuable save and I don't
want it, Danny, good nightage. At about two o'clock in the
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morning, I thought I heard anoise. I got up, put on
the rest of my pajamas, pickedup my gun, and went down to
the office. The man had hishead in the safe and everything was scattered
all over. I stepped inside thedoor. Put your hands behind your back
and stand up. Okay, wow, just what are you after? Buy?
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When I woke up, I wasalone on the office floor. I
did not feel place looked as ifa hurricane had struck it. Every file
droid empty, filed a draft fromsomewhere. Got to my feet, trying
not to joggle my head too much. Is the front door standing open?
And closed it gently? Then,very very gently, I groped my way
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to the kitchen for ice, waterand towels. Oh didn't you hear me?
SCREAMO is bad? It's better you'reangry, Andrew Nuts, I said,
nuts, mister Wolf, Nuts,I'm telling about what happened. Yeah,
you expected it, and I didn'texpect you to be caught by Samny
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behind you. You must have learnedthere'd been two of them. How would
I know that? How? Ithink to mister Ladwie's delicate hands? Do
you believe she intended to open andsave herself? You think she stole my
keys and so are well? Letme tell you the way that guy was
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digging in the safe. That then, who hit me in the head?
Gee, some day you'll be thedeath at me in the morning, will
you tell Inspector Kramer? I'd liketo see him yet, fuming and protesting,
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Kramer arrived about one thirty. WhenI let him into the office,
Mister Wolf was gazing thoughtfully at theground floor plan of the house of the
late Missus Florence Avery March. We'vegotten it from the original architects. Wolf
looked up and almost smiled. Thankyou for coming to me, inspector.
You know how difficult it is forme to come to you. Okay,
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okay, what's up? I takeit you haven't found the diamonds. No,
not yet. We'll break inch downthough. Don't think we won't.
Oh, I'm sure. But thisis what I want to ask you,
and it's quite serious. Okay,okay, all right? What after the
body was found? Your man arrivedat the house before anyone name right,
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and before anybody was hout. Yougo. Every person is searched thoroughly.
Nobody could have gotten a pin orneedle out of that place. I know
something about police methods, and Ibelieve you. Now, how fatily did
you search the house itself? Wolf? Look, we've got that floor plan
(25:18):
you're studying now. There's no hiddenclosets. Every square inch of that house
has been examined. The diamonds aren'tthere. Willians killed the damon, snatched
the diamonds. What he did withthem, we'll find out, possibly goodbye
In's picked them. At approximately threefifteen, the postman arrived with an envelope
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for me. The envelope contained mykeys, the build from the Riviera,
and the money left after the checkwas paid. At approximately five or seven
p m. I discovered that Wolfhad been using the telephone all by himself.
He explained he was going to havea party. He had invited all
of the guests who were at MissusFlorence Avery march Is somewhat fatal party,
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including Anson Stark, Willie Inch andValveot. They're all Wolf a natural born
ham. He made an entrance thatwould have been worthy of Queen Victoria in
her heavier days. He sat inhis oversized throne behind his oversized desk and
beamed at the peasant's valerie moved towardsme. I'm sorry, Archie, but
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you must know why I did it. Why but you said I wasn't a
writer. I wanted to prove thatyou weren't a detective? Did you take
the stuff while we were dancing?I could have couldn't I You could have
bumped me on the head last nighttoo, couldn't you? Watch? Let
it Go? Was humiliating, though, ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure you
realize the purpose of this party.We wanted to know who killed Missus March
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and what became of her diamond missing. Yeah, when you visited the room
where the body was found, theroom was dark, the bub was burned
out. I try to turn iton. They had been a body on
the bed. Would you have seenit? Maybe with all those coats?
Maybe not sure? Missus Stark,Yes, I said the light was on.
Perhaps I was wrong. What ofit? You're engaged in the manufacture
(27:10):
of tubes for radio and television.I told you that the cramer. Yeah,
light bulb was found in the waistbasket in the room where Missus March
died. Yeah, like you said, we tried the bulb in the socket
and it worked. So on.One more question. Does anybody remember whether
mister Stark was carrying a bundle ora package and his arm when he arrived
(27:33):
at Missus March's party? Oh Ido, mister Wolf. I think he
had a box of flowers. That'strue. I did bring flowers. No,
mister Stark, that box contained twoparts of a light bulb and some
adhesive. You're in the party whostrangle missus march put the diamonds into the
light barrow, semble the thing andscrewed it into the lamb, sucking Agi
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summ him very Archie, it wasquite simple. Light vulbs are only a
stem glass bowl and a brow seed. Yet nobody, including the police,
would think of looking inside one.Mister Stark would come back and collect his
(28:17):
treasure anytime. Out to the excitementto die down. What's the matter,
Archie? I got a headache?Battery in hand led me. She and
whoever the man was with her musthave thought the diamonds were here. That
bump on your head will be betterin the morning. Buttlet beer please,
(28:37):
Archie, I'm going to bed.Yeah, away, missed you place its
confidence in women? Remember what happenedto Mark Antony and Samson and Archie Goodwin?
Good Night, Argie, Ah,you have been listening to the New
(29:11):
Adventures of Nero Wolf starring Sidney Greenstreet. Good Night's transcribe story by Mindred Lord
(29:36):
was based on the characters created byRex Starts, Produced and directed by J.
Donald Wilson. This is an EdwinFadderman production in the cast where Harry
Bartel as Archie Goodwin and G.G. Pearson Bud Heaston, Gray Stafford,
Dick Ryan, and Bill Johnstone.Next week, at this same time,
Nero Wolf and Archie will bring youthe case of the Midnight Ride.
(29:56):
Don Stanley speaking three times mean goodTimes on NBC Welcome Back. This was
a pretty clever mystery. I alsothink it's quite interesting in terms of representing
(30:21):
a bit of the authors of theradio place, kind of shifting the show
around so that it matches more withwhat's in the book. Earlier episodes of
Nero Wolf had Wolf and Cramer onkind of almost chummy terms, and with
Wolf frequently making exceptions to his noleaving the house on business rule. Doubtless,
(30:45):
the writers and NBC heard from thepublic about some of the things that
didn't seem to ring true to thebook, so there have been some adjustments.
Of course, Sydney green Street putshis own stamp on Wolf with the
(31:07):
laugh that's always going to be partof it. Wolf never quiet laughed as
much in the books as green StreetGreen Street does, but part of the
reason people enjoy green Street is thisvery distinctive laugh. I also loved the
solution to this case. This wasvery clever and common sensical. At the
same time. Regarding mister green Street, Tony says, I always liked Sydney
(31:33):
green Street. He always played aclass act as a villain or detective,
and usually it was the villain.There's one film I'm aware of where he
played a detective, but it reallywasn't a mystery and his detective wasn't the
main character. But green Street playeda lot of characters very similar to the
fatman he played in The Maltese Falcon, and really left a big impression on
(31:59):
the silver screen, particularly when youconsider how old he was when he started
in films at age sixty two andcontinued to act on screen for about eight
years before he took on Nero Wolf. He really defined the art type of
(32:23):
how you create a villain who isphisticated, cultured and yet still a very dangerous
customer and has been imitated countless attimes. He truly provided the template for
a lot of authors imaginations to feedon. Also, I have to say
I love that reference about Rex Stoutthrown into the middle. That was just
(32:45):
that was very cute. Finally,we got one more comment from a listener
from podcast Allie thanks for this podcast. Well, thank you for your comment
and encourage everybody cast your boat thismonth and let us know what your favorite
show is as well when you vote, and we'll give you the totals at
the end of the month. Rememberpodcast alled on Great Detectives dot Net.
(33:08):
Well that'll do us for now.We'll be back tomorrow with Let George Do
It. In the meanwhile, Sandracomments to Box thirteen a Great Detectives dot
Net, follow us over on Twitter, Aunt Radio Detectives and you can always
give us a call two o eightnine nine one four seven eight three.
But from Boise Idahold, this isyour host, Adam Grahamson and off