Oz 9

It's Spring 2142 (a Tuesday), and Gated Galaxies has launched its 400 Oz-8000 ships, each carrying 50,000 "resting guests" to, hopefully, a new home on a shiny, brand-new planet. Except this whole "terraform and take over" idea isn't actually the plan; the real plan is far more nefarious and involves a great deal of cackling. But those aboard the ships don't know that, so off they toodle (those that make it out of Earth's atmosphere, at least), all shiny and optimistic. This is the story of one of those ships – the Oz 9 – and its tiny crew of hopeless incompetents. So far, they've been in space half an hour and several hundred people are dead. So... bright future, clearly.

Episodes

episode one: What the f&#* is that smell??

November 17, 2018 • 19 mins

HEY! HI! If you enjoyed this episode (and yes, I know, you probably haven't heard it yet, hush), you'll be thrilled to know it's also a COMIC BOOK. Which you can BUY! https://oz9podcast.etsy.com On an otherwise unexceptional Tuesday in 2142*, Gated Galaxies fired off 400 of its Oz 8000™ ships, each with 50,000 “resting guests” tucked into stasis pods, plus a skeleton crew of up to half-a-dozen total no-hopers. It was a win-win for ...

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episode two: I had a cake all to meself

November 23, 2018 • 15 mins

Still smoking from the launch pad, our band of space explorers can't quite get a grip on this whole "survival" idea. So I wouldn't get too attached to them. Oz 9 is a proud member of the Fable & Folly network! Please support our partners here: https://fableandfolly.com/partners/. And be sure to check out the other great Fable & Folly shows at https://fableandfolly.com/. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoice...

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episode three: Great heaving chesticles

December 3, 2018 • 16 mins

Have you ever thrown the last of your milkshake out the car window, only to have it splat on the windshield of the car behind you? OK, imagine doing that with liquified human remains, in space, where there are no windshield wipers. Or gas stations with handy squeegee things. What happens next? You might get a really irritated comms call from the next ship in line, who are, incidentally, also about to hit you. You're listening to: ...

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episode four: Space is great for sulking

December 12, 2018 • 13 mins

Hey, speaking from the future here, but Oz 9 has a comic book! https://oz9podcast.etsy.com Right. As you were. Episode four in which Olivia gasses the crew, Leet's symmetry is imperiled, and the janitor and the AI debate the relative value of the tooth fairy. Starring Richard Cowen as Leet Bonnie Brantley as Jessie Tim Sherburn as Colin Shannon Perry as Madeline and Olivia Eric Perry as Joe and Richard Nadolny as your Narrato...

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episode five: There's a zombie in the corridor

December 22, 2018 • 16 mins

Heave a sigh of relief: Leet’s symmetry has been restored. Might suggest you breathe through your mouth, though, as there’s a rapidly decomposing dead person in the corridor. Messing up Joe’s clean floors. Seriously, zombies are why we can’t have nice things. Not clear on the Cumberbatch/penguin reference? https://youtu.be/9GHPNKUMf70?t=200 You've been listening to: Richard Cowen as Leet Bonnie Brantley as Lady Lucretia Nibble-Bi...

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episode six: Dark and starting to collect liquid

January 6, 2019 • 15 mins

In which Leet reveals a certain fascination with some heavenly orbs... More pods go squelchy... We discover how the crews of the Oz fleet were assembled, and ... The narrator reveals a Very Big Secret. You're listening to: Richard Cowen as Leet Bonnie Brantley as Jessie and the Interviewer Tim Sherburn as Colin and Dick Eric Perry as Joe and Dr. Frederich von Haber-Zetzer Shannon Perry as Madeline and Olivia, and Richard Nado...

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episode seven: The biggest bunch of mindless wankers

January 13, 2019 • 18 mins

In which Leet is accosted by someone (or thing) and bunged into airlock 7, Olivia gets tetchy about Leet's imminent demise, There's an enormous amount of bickering, and We discover the limits of that whole "two heads better than one" nonsense. You've been listening to: Bonnie Brantley as Jessie and the Recruiter Eric Perry as Joe and Head 1 Tim Sherburn as Colin and Head 2 and Richard Cowen as Leet Shannon Perry as Madeline an...

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episode eight: Things that go stupid in the night

January 29, 2019 • 18 mins

In which It's "night" on the Oz 9, and the crew is literally and figuratively stumbling around in the dark. Back on earth a cub reporter and a private dick are hot on Mr. Southers' heels, asking the sorts of questions that might get them an invitation to sleep with the fishes. You're listening to: Eric Perry as Joe, Mr. Southers and Dr. Van Haber Zetzer Bonnie Brantley as Jessie and Donna Richard Cowen as Leet Tim Sherburn as ...

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episode nine: Mind the gap

February 10, 2019 • 16 mins

In which: Colin makes a sausage-scented discovery, Rock and Donna talk murder, we learn about automatic chopsticks, and Olivia confesses that she might not be … all there. You’re listening to: Tim Sherburn as Colin Eric Perry as Joe Richard Cowen as Leet Shannon Perry as Olivia Bonnie Brantley as woman’s voice and Donna John Faley as man’s voice Steven Crider as Rock and Richard Nadolny as your Narrator. Oz 9 is written a...

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episode ten: Fixing the ejaculax

February 24, 2019 • 18 mins

Will Madeline and Joe be able to fix the copulatron and attach it to the forniculator before they realize neither of these things actually exists? Is Leet doomed to spend most of his journey inside a healer pod? Are there any sensible podcasts looking for a reliable, experienced narrator? And no, I'm not "asking for a friend." You've been listening to Episode 10 of Oz 9, Fixing the Ejaculax. Featuring... Eric Perry as Head One an...

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episode eleven: She might do some lasting pickles

March 10, 2019 • 18 mins

It's Day Two And we're as startled as you are that anyone's still alive. Day two on the Oz 9 sees the crew celebrating fewer fatalities (sorry, Matt) at least on board (sorry, Sweden) and making a critical discovery about cheese. But the two-headed repairbot is awake again and wreaking some havoc, Madeline needs to warn Jessie about her crew, and apparently, if someone invites you to go on an adventure in space, don't go back for y...

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episode twelve: A bucket full of mime

March 24, 2019 • 20 mins

A pod has popped open, and something is roaming loose aboard the Oz 9. Something silent.... but ... deadly? Jessie, Captain of the neighboring Oz 6748, may have good reason to fear for her life, AND Olivia explains the MRDR protocol, which is just as bad as it sounds. Not sure if you knew this yet, but Gated Galaxies is kind of crap. You've been listening to: Tim Sherburn as Colin Eric Perry as Joe Richard Cowen as Leet Shanno...

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Bonus: Bayonets and electrodes

March 31, 2019 • 8 mins

What happens when a homicidal, two-headed robot gets shoved into an empty (empty??) storage bay without arms or hope of release? Good question. Listen in and find out. As always, huge thanks to all our Patrons! You're listening to: Eric Perry as Head One Tim Sherburn as Head Two Richard Nadolny as you Narrator Our theme music and other music was composed and performed by John Faley. Oz 9 is written and produced by Shannon Per...

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episode thirteen: Aim for the mime

April 7, 2019 • 20 mins

You know how the little fluffy dogs are always the meanest? Well, this bichon frise is no exception. He's coming for Captain Jessie, and things are looking bad for the fearless, tartan-clad leader of the 6748. Join our intrepid — sorry, that's insipid, — crew as they try to help Jessie *pouf* her way to safety. With: Richard Cowen as Leet Tim Sherburn as Colin Eric Perry as Joe Bonnie Brantley as Jessie Aaron Clark as le Bich...

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episode fourteen: Of baguettes and bastards

April 21, 2019 • 21 mins

Captain Jessie is now aboard the Oz 9, which is great, except she brought her assassin with her, and he's managed to get a hold of some fairly crucial information about the Oz 9. But he's kind of an idiot, so ... there's that. Will our pointless but slightly endearing crew survive? More importantly, who will hire the Narrator if they don't? You've been listening to: Shannon Perry as Madeline and Olivia Bonnie Brantley as Jessie ...

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Bonus: Deep breath and follow the doors

April 28, 2019 • 12 mins

It's late, and there's an assassin loose aboard the Oz 9, but Leet isn't going to let that interrupt his conversation with sleeping people. After all, in at least a dozen conversations, only one of them called him stupid. Leet really REALLY needs a pen pal. You're listening to: Richard Sherburn as Leet Aaron Clark as Ben Shannon Perry as Olivia and Richard Nadolny as your Narrator Theme and incidental music composed and perf...

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episode fifteen: Heroic Running!

May 5, 2019 • 25 mins

Here's a shocker: the Oz 9 crew's lives are in danger. Suffocation, toxic gas, a loose assassin, the risk of being crushed under their own denseness – perils lurk around every corner and certainly between slices of bread. Still, they've managed to make it through 14 episodes, so there may be hope for them yet. Oh, who are we kidding. These people would starve to death on a broken carousel. You've been listening to: Tim Sherburn a...

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episode sixteen: We are not breathing the passengers

May 19, 2019 • 21 mins

'Allo, little piggies! The notorious assassin le Bichon Frise is circling our crew like a vulture who hopes his prey drops soon because he's tired and hungry and a little cranky and frankly probably a little dehydrated and his blood sugar's low, he just knows it, and this dry desert air is doing NOTHING for his skin. He's ready to do some assassaning, but this bloody crew just will not cooperate. Oh, and pod 666 just popped open,...

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episode seventeen: So the deed could not be done

June 2, 2019 • 27 mins

The episode that finally answers the critical question: why do robots climb like cows? There's an arm under the sofa, Jessie's dangling from a shelf in Maintenance Bay 15, and we learn what ligatures are for. It's, like, Day 7? 8? aboard the Oz 9, and things haven't gotten any better. Does anyone know a good pycnologist? You've been listening to: Aaron Clark is le Bichon Frise June Eubanks is the Albatros and Glenda Bonnie Brant...

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Bonus: Between the wormhole and the Rinse McGoo

June 9, 2019 • 20 mins

It's that kind of day, innit? One minute, you're out having a quick ciggie next to the tip, and then the world goes all wobbly, and suddenly you're aboard someone else's spaceship, only it's held together with duct tape and optimism and crewed by the biggest bunch of idiots who ever graced the skies, and there's something ... or possibly someone ... all over your boots. Big thanks to the Mark Restuccia of the Best in Galaxy podcast...

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Oz 9

Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}episode one: What the f&#* is that smell??

.css-r6mb8g{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:1;overflow:hidden;}episode two: I had a cake all to meself

episode three: Great heaving chesticles

episode four: Space is great for sulking

episode five: There's a zombie in the corridor

episode six: Dark and starting to collect liquid

episode seven: The biggest bunch of mindless wankers

episode eight: Things that go stupid in the night

episode nine: Mind the gap

episode ten: Fixing the ejaculax

episode eleven: She might do some lasting pickles

episode twelve: A bucket full of mime

Bonus: Bayonets and electrodes

episode thirteen: Aim for the mime

episode fourteen: Of baguettes and bastards

Bonus: Deep breath and follow the doors

episode fifteen: Heroic Running!

episode sixteen: We are not breathing the passengers

episode seventeen: So the deed could not be done

Bonus: Between the wormhole and the Rinse McGoo

Popular Podcasts

episode one: What the f&#* is that smell??

episode two: I had a cake all to meself