Oz 9
It's Spring 2142 (a Tuesday), and Gated Galaxies has launched its 400 Oz-8000 ships, each carrying 50,000 "resting guests" to, hopefully, a new home on a shiny, brand-new planet. Except this whole "terraform and take over" idea isn't actually the plan; the real plan is far more nefarious and involves a great deal of cackling. But those aboard the ships don't know that, so off they toodle (those that make it out of Earth's atmosphere, at least), all shiny and optimistic. This is the story of one of those ships – the Oz 9 – and its tiny crew of hopeless incompetents. So far, they've been in space half an hour and several hundred people are dead. So... bright future, clearly.
Episodes
November 17, 2018 • 19 mins
HEY! HI! If you enjoyed this episode (and yes, I know, you probably haven't heard it yet, hush), you'll be thrilled to know it's also a COMIC BOOK. Which you can BUY! https://oz9podcast.etsy.com
On an otherwise unexceptional Tuesday in 2142*, Gated Galaxies fired off 400 of its Oz 8000™ ships, each with 50,000 “resting guests” tucked into stasis pods, plus a skeleton crew of up to half-a-dozen total no-hopers.
It was a win-win for ...
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November 23, 2018 • 15 mins
Still smoking from the launch pad, our band of space explorers can't quite get a grip on this whole "survival" idea. So I wouldn't get too attached to them.
Oz 9 is a proud member of the Fable & Folly network! Please support our partners here: https://fableandfolly.com/partners/. And be sure to check out the other great Fable & Folly shows at https://fableandfolly.com/.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoice...
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December 3, 2018 • 16 mins
Have you ever thrown the last of your milkshake out the car window, only to have it splat on the windshield of the car behind you? OK, imagine doing that with liquified human remains, in space, where there are no windshield wipers. Or gas stations with handy squeegee things. What happens next? You might get a really irritated comms call from the next ship in line, who are, incidentally, also about to hit you.
You're listening to:
...
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December 12, 2018 • 13 mins
Hey, speaking from the future here, but Oz 9 has a comic book! https://oz9podcast.etsy.com
Right. As you were.
Episode four in which Olivia gasses the crew, Leet's symmetry is imperiled, and the janitor and the AI debate the relative value of the tooth fairy.
Starring
Richard Cowen as Leet
Bonnie Brantley as Jessie
Tim Sherburn as Colin
Shannon Perry as Madeline and Olivia
Eric Perry as Joe and
Richard Nadolny as your Narrato...
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December 22, 2018 • 16 mins
Heave a sigh of relief: Leet’s symmetry has been restored. Might suggest you breathe through your mouth, though, as there’s a rapidly decomposing dead person in the corridor. Messing up Joe’s clean floors. Seriously, zombies are why we can’t have nice things.
Not clear on the Cumberbatch/penguin reference? https://youtu.be/9GHPNKUMf70?t=200
You've been listening to:
Richard Cowen as Leet
Bonnie Brantley as Lady Lucretia Nibble-Bi...
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January 6, 2019 • 15 mins
In which
Leet reveals a certain fascination with some heavenly orbs...
More pods go squelchy...
We discover how the crews of the Oz fleet were assembled, and ...
The narrator reveals a Very Big Secret.
You're listening to:
Richard Cowen as Leet
Bonnie Brantley as Jessie and the Interviewer
Tim Sherburn as Colin and Dick
Eric Perry as Joe and Dr. Frederich von Haber-Zetzer
Shannon Perry as Madeline and Olivia, and
Richard Nado...
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January 13, 2019 • 18 mins
In which
Leet is accosted by someone (or thing) and bunged into airlock 7,
Olivia gets tetchy about Leet's imminent demise,
There's an enormous amount of bickering, and
We discover the limits of that whole "two heads better than one" nonsense.
You've been listening to:
Bonnie Brantley as Jessie and the Recruiter
Eric Perry as Joe and Head 1
Tim Sherburn as Colin and Head 2 and
Richard Cowen as Leet
Shannon Perry as Madeline an...
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January 29, 2019 • 18 mins
In which
It's "night" on the Oz 9, and the crew is literally and figuratively stumbling around in the dark. Back on earth a cub reporter and a private dick are hot on Mr. Southers' heels, asking the sorts of questions that might get them an invitation to sleep with the fishes.
You're listening to:
Eric Perry as Joe, Mr. Southers and Dr. Van Haber Zetzer
Bonnie Brantley as Jessie and Donna
Richard Cowen as Leet
Tim Sherburn as ...
Mark as Played
February 10, 2019 • 16 mins
In which:
Colin makes a sausage-scented discovery, Rock and Donna talk murder, we learn about automatic chopsticks, and Olivia confesses that she might not be … all there.
You’re listening to:
Tim Sherburn as Colin
Eric Perry as Joe
Richard Cowen as Leet
Shannon Perry as Olivia
Bonnie Brantley as woman’s voice and Donna
John Faley as man’s voice
Steven Crider as Rock and
Richard Nadolny as your Narrator.
Oz 9 is written a...
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February 24, 2019 • 18 mins
Will Madeline and Joe be able to fix the copulatron and attach it to the forniculator before they realize neither of these things actually exists?
Is Leet doomed to spend most of his journey inside a healer pod?
Are there any sensible podcasts looking for a reliable, experienced narrator? And no, I'm not "asking for a friend."
You've been listening to Episode 10 of Oz 9, Fixing the Ejaculax.
Featuring...
Eric Perry as Head One an...
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March 10, 2019 • 18 mins
It's Day Two
And we're as startled as you are that anyone's still alive.
Day two on the Oz 9 sees the crew celebrating fewer fatalities (sorry, Matt) at least on board (sorry, Sweden) and making a critical discovery about cheese.
But the two-headed repairbot is awake again and wreaking some havoc, Madeline needs to warn Jessie about her crew, and apparently, if someone invites you to go on an adventure in space, don't go back for y...
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March 24, 2019 • 20 mins
A pod has popped open, and something is roaming loose aboard the Oz 9. Something silent.... but ... deadly?
Jessie, Captain of the neighboring Oz 6748, may have good reason to fear for her life,
AND
Olivia explains the MRDR protocol, which is just as bad as it sounds. Not sure if you knew this yet, but Gated Galaxies is kind of crap.
You've been listening to:
Tim Sherburn as Colin
Eric Perry as Joe
Richard Cowen as Leet
Shanno...
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March 31, 2019 • 8 mins
What happens when a homicidal, two-headed robot gets shoved into an empty (empty??) storage bay without arms or hope of release?
Good question. Listen in and find out.
As always, huge thanks to all our Patrons!
You're listening to:
Eric Perry as Head One
Tim Sherburn as Head Two
Richard Nadolny as you Narrator
Our theme music and other music was composed and performed by John Faley.
Oz 9 is written and produced by Shannon Per...
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April 7, 2019 • 20 mins
You know how the little fluffy dogs are always the meanest? Well, this bichon frise is no exception. He's coming for Captain Jessie, and things are looking bad for the fearless, tartan-clad leader of the 6748.
Join our intrepid — sorry, that's insipid, — crew as they try to help Jessie *pouf* her way to safety.
With:
Richard Cowen as Leet
Tim Sherburn as Colin
Eric Perry as Joe
Bonnie Brantley as Jessie
Aaron Clark as le Bich...
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April 21, 2019 • 21 mins
Captain Jessie is now aboard the Oz 9, which is great, except she brought her assassin with her, and he's managed to get a hold of some fairly crucial information about the Oz 9. But he's kind of an idiot, so ... there's that.
Will our pointless but slightly endearing crew survive? More importantly, who will hire the Narrator if they don't?
You've been listening to:
Shannon Perry as Madeline and Olivia
Bonnie Brantley as Jessie
...
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April 28, 2019 • 12 mins
It's late, and there's an assassin loose aboard the Oz 9, but Leet isn't going to let that interrupt his conversation with sleeping people.
After all, in at least a dozen conversations, only one of them called him stupid.
Leet really REALLY needs a pen pal.
You're listening to:
Richard Sherburn as Leet
Aaron Clark as Ben
Shannon Perry as Olivia and
Richard Nadolny as your Narrator
Theme and incidental music composed and perf...
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May 5, 2019 • 25 mins
Here's a shocker: the Oz 9 crew's lives are in danger. Suffocation, toxic gas, a loose assassin, the risk of being crushed under their own denseness – perils lurk around every corner and certainly between slices of bread.
Still, they've managed to make it through 14 episodes, so there may be hope for them yet.
Oh, who are we kidding. These people would starve to death on a broken carousel.
You've been listening to:
Tim Sherburn a...
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May 19, 2019 • 21 mins
'Allo, little piggies!
The notorious assassin le Bichon Frise is circling our crew like a vulture who hopes his prey drops soon because he's tired and hungry and a little cranky and frankly probably a little dehydrated and his blood sugar's low, he just knows it, and this dry desert air is doing NOTHING for his skin.
He's ready to do some assassaning, but this bloody crew just will not cooperate.
Oh, and pod 666 just popped open,...
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June 2, 2019 • 27 mins
The episode that finally answers the critical question: why do robots climb like cows?
There's an arm under the sofa, Jessie's dangling from a shelf in Maintenance Bay 15, and we learn what ligatures are for.
It's, like, Day 7? 8? aboard the Oz 9, and things haven't gotten any better. Does anyone know a good pycnologist?
You've been listening to:
Aaron Clark is le Bichon Frise
June Eubanks is the Albatros and Glenda
Bonnie Brant...
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June 9, 2019 • 20 mins
It's that kind of day, innit? One minute, you're out having a quick ciggie next to the tip, and then the world goes all wobbly, and suddenly you're aboard someone else's spaceship, only it's held together with duct tape and optimism and crewed by the biggest bunch of idiots who ever graced the skies, and there's something ... or possibly someone ... all over your boots.
Big thanks to the Mark Restuccia of the Best in Galaxy podcast...
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