Oz 9

Oz 9

Spring 2142 and Gated Galaxies has launched its 400 Oz-8000 ships, each carrying 50,000 "resting guests" to, hopefully, a new home on a shiny, brand-new planet. As soon as they find one. IF they find one. This is the story of one of those ships – the Oz 9 – and its tiny crew of hopeless incompetents. So far, they've been in space half an hour and several hundred people are dead. So... bright future, clearly.... Show More

Episodes

July 5, 2020 102 min

If you think Oz 9 looks like chaos from the front, well, it's just as raggedy and unkempt 'round the back (if slightly less dangerous). In this bonus episode for our hiatus, our 4 newest cast members, David S. Dear, Sarah Golding, Kevin Hall, and Iri Alexander, gathered to talk about life as a voice actor and the swirling tornado of imminent doom that is existence aboard the Oz 9.

We'll be back with our first episode of...

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The Oz ships failed under mysterious circumstances entirely caused by their on-board crews or natural disaster wholly unrelated to Gated Galaxies or its subsidiaries, officers, or agents. G2 accepts no responsibility or liability for loss of liberty, limb, or life due to incorrect use of machinery, gross negligence, intentional or reckless misconduct. By simply existing, you acknowledge that life is inherently dangerous and often f...

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It's the end of Season 2, and our crew are still dumb, still in space, and still hovering at the edge of death. Thanks to all the zig zagging around the galaxy, they're nearly back where they started, and the forniculator still hasn't been fixed.

So, if you've been with us for the past 39 episodes, well, you probably could have skipped this bit. Let's hope Season 3 is better.

In Season 2, you heard from:

Iri Ale...

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Episode 39 means one more until the end of Season 2, and where we're going is no clearer than the muck at the bottom of the bioswamp. But hey, you've gotten this far, you might as well stick with us a little longer. Eventually, it'll all make sense.

Or not. Probably not.

You've been listening to:

Bonnie Brantley as Jessie
Kevin Hall as Greg and Felonius
Eric Perry as Joe, Dr. von Haber-Zetzer, Mr. Southers, and Howa...

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Look, I've been up all night, and seriously the first person to speak to me may find themselves trying to pour coffee into a stump. Like, where their head used to be, not a tree, that was supposed to be sort of threatening and scary. Never mind.

Make sure you listen right to the end as there's treats and stuff you won't want to miss. 

Oh, and Head 1 finally gets a name. It's ... epic. Really.

You’re listening to:

Ir...

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Despite Joe's best attempts to keep the Oz 9 free of ... icky things, a very large, armed, and presumably hostile icky thing has taken over the bridge.

This has just been one of those space voyages, hasn't it? 

You're listening to:

Iri Alexander as Julie

Bonnie Brantley as Jessie

Aaron Clark as le Bichon Frise

Eric Perry as Joe, Head 1, and Dr. von Haber Zetzer

Richard Cowen as Leet and Tiberius

June Clark Eubanks as th...

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Pod poetry is generally considered to be the 3rd worst in the universe. If you have a weak liver or any sort of cheese allergy, you might want to check with a doctor before listening to this episode.

You're listening to:

Bonnie Brantley as Jessie and Donna

Richard Cowen as Leet and Tyberius

Iri Alexander as Julie

Sarah Golding as Mrs. Sheffield

June Clark Eubanks as the Albatros

Tim Sherburn as Colin and Buck

Kevin Hall as Greg

...

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Beans — BIG beans — are about to be spilled aboard the Oz 9, and that could spell trouble for the crew. Especially if the beans land in a very particular way that happens to spell "trouble."

And someone aboard the Oz 9 is not doing their job. I realize I should probably narrow that down for you, as it's a hefty list, but just listen up and you'll figure it out. 

You’ve been listening to:

Bonnie Brantley as Jessie

Aa...

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What do you do when your Otologostealth X13 runs out of charge? 

That wasn't actually a rhetorical question — the manual is in Ancient Mesopotamian (we think) and none of the charging cables we have fits. Anyone?

Anyway, we say goodbye to a crewmate this episode, so get your hanky ready or use your sleeve or whatever, just prepare to have your innards stepped on in the name of emotional manipulation.

You're listening to:

Ju...

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No one said life in space would be easy. Though if they'd listened closely, the people buying seats on the Oz ships might have heard G2 officials mutter under their breath about how easy death in space was going to be ...

Anyway, it's a Thursday aboard the Oz 9, which means Leet is optimistic about their chances of survival. He's alone in that, but hey, he's a rebel. 

You're listening to:

Richard Cowen as Leet

T...

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I've pretty much decided that some weeks ago, I ate the fugu, and everything since has been some sort of weird fever dream. I mean, that's the only thing that makes sense, right?

RIGHT?

You’ve been listening to:

Kevin Hall as Cal and Greg the Zebra

Bonnie Brantley as Jessie

Eric Perry as Joe, Dr. von Haber Zetzer, and Head One

Tim Sherburn as Colin and Emily

Richard Cowen as Leet

Aaron Clark as le Bichon Frise

June Clark Eu...

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Otherwise known as "The Origin of Colin Smith," this mini ep gives some background into-

Ah ah — you almost got me, there. Nope. I'm not telling. I'm afraid you'll have to listen like it's 2020 or something.

You're listening to:

Eric Perry as Mr. Southers

Kevin Hall as Spotty Bosh

and Richard Nadolny as your Narrator

This episode was directed by June Clark Eubanks. Our theme and other music is by John Fa...

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I... we... they...

Seriously?

This is... It just... 

SERIOUSLY?

You've been listening to:

June Clark Eubanks as Glenda and the Albatros

Bonnie Brantley as Donna and Jessie

Tim Sherburn as Colin, Buck, and Emily

Eric Perry as Mr. Southers, Head 1, and Dr. von Haber Zetzer

Richard Cowen as Leet

Aaron Clark as le Bichon Frise and Ben

Shannon Perry as Olivia and Madeline

Special thanks to guest star Sarah Golding as Mrs. Clara Shef...

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December 29, 2019 18 min

It's the holiday season aboard the Oz 9, though how that happened when they launched in spring, like, a month ago, is anyone's guess. 

But whatever the case, there's a mysterious box in Cargo Bay 7, and whether it was delivered by Santa or Satan... well, I guess you'll have to listen to find out, now won't you?

You're listening to:

Bonnie Brantley as Jessie

Eric Perry as Head 1, Joe, and Dr. von Haber Zetzer

...

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On December 4, 2019, Oz 9 did a live show at the South Side Podfest at Bar 171 in Chicago, Illinois. 

It was the evening of the Annual Assassins Holiday Dinner. Of course, the Albatros and le Bichon Frise attended, with chaperone Cpt. Madeline, who was very upset to learn that no one with any sense at all ate the delicious-smelling food.

Thank you to Nick Mataragas and Memoriam Development for creating this fun event and putting us...

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Episode 29, in which we learn the meaning of the Scottish slang word "boaking." Repeatedly. In vivid color.

In this episode, the world has gone topsy turvy — up is down, left is right, enemies are friends...

But the fugu is still poisonous, and our crew are still idiotic and imperiled.

And there's a gecko. An amorous one. 

You’ve been listening to:

Aaron Clark as le Bichon Frise

Bonnie Brantley as Jessie

Eric Perry as D...

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An episode so full of unexpected twist and turns, you should probably schedule an appointment with your chiropractor now. 

Wet sandwiches, heat-resistant foxes, and some highly suspect popcorn flavoring are the very least of the crew's problems today, so be throw on some wooly slippers, grab a nibble that doesn't fight back, and enjoy NOT being on the Oz 9. 

June Clark Eubanks as the Albatros

Eric Perry as Head 1, Joe, and ...

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November 17, 2019 22 min

Does it sometimes seem like everything that is trying to kill you wants to talk to you about it first? I mean, I don't really feel like I need to connect with you on an emotional level when I'm just trying to keep breathing.

In episode 27, a very unexpected truth is revealed — but is it good news? Or very very bad indeed?

Smart money's on bad. I'm going with bad.

You're listening to:

Tim Sherburn as Colin and Em...

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November 3, 2019 22 min

Earth is starting to feel the loss of its most dependable consumers, it's chaos all 'round, and I got a fricking paper cut putting this episode together, so if you want to know what it's about, well, I guess you'll just have to listen, won't you.

Just a reminder that you can see (and support) a live appearance of Oz 9, plus Relativity, Sage and Savant, Moonbase Theta Out, A 9th World Journal, and Girl in Space, ...

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October 31, 2019 15 min

It's the Oz 9, so of course they even manage to screw up Halloween. 

What do you do if there's an open and empty coffin in the hold of your ship? 

No, really, what do YOU do, because we've got bugger all for ideas.

You've been listening to

Richard Cowen as Leet

Tim Sherburn as Colin

Eric Perry as Joe

Bonnie Brantley as Jessie

Kevin Hall as Radu the Handsome

June Clark Eubanks as the Albatros

Aaron Clark as le Bichon...

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