130: Merry Quizmas

Helen, Adam and Andy compete in the second ever traditional Page 94 End Of Year Quizenanny. Featuring a cast of 2024’s heroes and villains (90% villains), a smattering of Victories for the Eye, and Nigel Slater cooking a bumblebee.

Episode Transcript

Maisie (00:00):
Page 94, the Private Eye Podcast

Andy (00:03):
Hello and welcome to another episode of Page 94.
My name is Andrew Hunter Murray,and I'm here in the Eye Office with
Helen Lewis and Adam Macqueen, andwe are here for our traditional...
it's the second year we've doneit, so it's now traditional...
post Christmas, pre New yearquiz of the year's news.
This is hugely exciting.
We've prepared a round each, thereis fierce competition in the air.
The reigning is Adam Macqueen.
Okay.

(00:23):
Well you don't need tobang on about it, but Yes.
No, no, we do, we do.
We definitely do.
One last year quiz me beating.
And last year definitely.
Yeah.
Okay.
But now I think, Helen,you are in play as well.
Mm.
Because you were just quizmastering last year and then Yes.

Helen (00:35):
And now my horrible competitive side will be able to be shown to
read it so they can uh, fantastic.
Leave and never listen to us again.
Now they discovered a monster out.

Andy (00:43):
So we've got three rounds, all very different, but all covering
various different aspects of the year'snews and the year's news in the eye.
So we're gonna start with Helen's round.
Helen, what's the nameof your round please?

Helen (00:53):
Private eye quiz.

Andy (00:54):
That's good.
That's good, isn't it?
It's very good.
Okay.
I have to rename mine.
That's, oh no,

Helen (00:58):
mine is, mine.
Is the air in politics.

Andy (01:00):
Oh, lovely.
Okay.
That's my theme.
Uh, and are we going to,jingle our jingles or you onto

Adam (01:04):
Jingle Dingers?
Right.
Okay.
Well, here we go.
I can offer you, Adam hasbrought a Santa Action action.
This is, this is themost exciting bit for me.
You can have,

Helen (01:12):
oh, that's your hat.
Okay.
The s

Adam (01:14):
slave s good.
Andy's just snatched thosestraight off mention.
Terrific.
Right.
Okay.
I've met my best.
We have what I like to think of asthe, uh, there's the slays ring.
Are you listening?
The clanging chimes of doom.

Helen (01:25):
Yeah.

Adam (01:26):
The

Helen (01:26):
hand bell.
I like that.
I want I, or what I'm

Adam (01:28):
gonna call Oh, oh.
Uh, the, the holiday hooter.

Helen (01:32):
I'll have the, I'll have the teacher's bell Right.
I'm,

Adam (01:35):
I'm hooting.

Andy (01:36):
So let's go forward the year in politics.
Helen, take it away.

Helen (01:38):
Okay.
Reality TV star Jacob Rees Mogg's sixthchild, famously is called Sixteth.
Name any of his other five children.

Adam (01:48):
Adam.
Peter,

Helen (01:50):
correct.

Adam (01:51):
That's the one that went, um, canvassing with him.
There we go.
And it looks like a, like, likea miniature version of him.
Oh.
And then, and then we, we, we put himin the magazine with a speech bubble
and everyone said, that's very, verycruel to expose that child to ridicule.
We didn't do that.
He did that.
He took him out on thestreets of, uh, Froom.

Andy (02:06):
I was trying to think of any of the boys' names.
'cause he's got I thinkfive boys and one girl.
And the boys are allcalled Peter Dominicus'.
That's Wil frea, the offer fee

Adam (02:14):
wildebeest,

Andy (02:14):
I think.
And actually, and the girl is called Mary.
Yes.
The girl I saw Mary should have said Mary.
Damn it.

Helen (02:19):
Mary Peter, Thomas, Anselm and Alfred.
He went for a sort of saint theme.
An theme.
Yeah.
Anselm.
Very Catholic saint.
Okay.
According to the reality TVshow, which one of these relics
does Reese Mag not claim to own?
Okay.
A, a fragment of the true cross.
B, a fragment of the crown of thorns.
CA fragment of St.
Peter's foreskin or DA wisp ofThomas Moore's hair shirt Slay wells.

Andy (02:45):
I think it's the foreskin

Helen (02:47):
it.
Yes, correct.
He does claim to own all of the others.
But Yes.
Yeah.
A bit of Thomas Moore's hair shirt.
Is it?
That's a great relic, to be fair.
'cause that's probably actually genuine.

Andy (02:56):
Yeah.
And the crown of thorns, Ithought was in Notre Dame.

Helen (02:58):
I mean, there was, weren't there notoriously three arms of St.
James for quite a long time.
There's

Adam (03:03):
enough crowns of thos to make a pretty substantial hedge.
I, yes.

Andy (03:06):
Okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Fair enough.
Okay.
But the hair shot is good.
Yeah,

Helen (03:09):
no, I, I would, I would go and see if I went round the Reese mos.
If you, you know, if you'relistening, Jacob Coffee,
Okay, next question.
How many times, and you're bothgonna get a go at this, and
whoever's closest wins the point.
How many times did Rachel Reevessay the phrase working people in
her budget speech, according tothe official transcript, now it's
harder to be the one who goes first.
So reigning champion Adam is gonnabe handicapped by having to go first.

(03:32):
How many times did Rachel Reeves sayworking people in her budget speech?

Andy (03:35):
I'm

Adam (03:35):
gonna go for

Andy (03:36):
14.
I'm gonna go higher.
I'm gonna say 23 please.

Helen (03:40):
According to the official transcript, 13

Andy (03:44):
oh

Adam (03:44):
oh.
Well done Adam.
Thank you.

Helen (03:47):
You, I mean, you played that badly.
If you thought it was more, youshould have gone for 15 and then
you'd had all of those ones.

Andy (03:52):
I know, but during my time as an economist at the Bank
of England, uh, I learned to,

Helen (03:57):
Following the Tory leadership race, what job does
breakout star Mel Stride hold?

Andy (04:03):
Um, that too.
Very tense.
I was such a hard-hearted ho.
I'm gonna, I'm gonna hand

Adam (04:09):
it over to my man with the bells.

Andy (04:11):
Is he shadow Chancellor of the Dutchy of Lancaster?

Helen (04:16):
No, he's real shadow Chancellor of the Ex Checker.
No, that's what I was gonna, he's secondermost important chop in the Tory party.
Wow.
Mark, let me down.
Yeah.
Well, I knew

Andy (04:26):
that's amazing.
Oh, I'm glad I've alwaysbeen a stride booster.

Helen (04:29):
I also found out that his daughters are called Natasha Ophelia and Elin.
It's lovely.
This is sort of a theme

Adam (04:36):
to this quiz so far, isn't you?
It politician's kids' names.
Well, I just,

Helen (04:39):
I, the only reason I wrote that is because Ed Balls has a joke that he
often tells in private, which is that ifyou feel sorry for me, you should feel
much more sorry for my sister of failure.

Andy (04:48):
Oh, very good.
Yeah.

Helen (04:49):
Uh, lemme we go, that probably gets air on political currency a lot.
Oh.
In his conference speech in the autumn,who did Kirstan Promise to bring home?

Andy (04:59):
Oh,

Helen (05:00):
half-hearted.
Honk

Andy (05:01):
football.

Helen (05:02):
No.

Adam (05:04):
uh.
Jimmy Ly,

Helen (05:06):
no.
Oh.
Oh.
Can have another,

Adam (05:07):
uh, a dog for his kids and then he bought 'em a cat instead.

Helen (05:11):
No.
Remember when I said beforewe started recording that I
tested these on my husband?
There was one that was so basic thatI thought, well, that's you're good.
And that we did still didn't get that one.
It was this one is this one.
He promised to bring him the sausages.
Oh, of course he did.
Yes.
Yeah,

Andy (05:25):
yeah.
Sorry.
Yeah.
Aw.

Helen (05:27):
Which of these was not a real lib de election stunt by a Davy.
A playing.
We will rock you in a care home.
B.
Visiting a safari park with a monkeysupply had been affected by Brexit.
C.
Getting a summer makeover on this morning,including a Panama hat and d launching his
manifesto on the teacups at Thorpe Park.

Andy (05:47):
Ooh.
So

Helen (05:50):
I'm gonna need to jingle.

Andy (05:51):
I definitely saw him do the, we will rock you at a care home.

Helen (05:54):
Yes.

Andy (05:55):
Yeah.
I feel like I've seen him dressed asthe man from Del Monte on this morning.
Yeah, I remember that one.
Yeah.
And the teacups feels very a Dave,so I'm gonna say he did not go to
a safari park where the monkeysplay had been affected by Brexit.

Helen (06:06):
Correct.
Although I would say that.
Zoos have been affectedby delays in Brexit.
There was a story about one ofthose, um, andan spectacle bears.
The type of that Paddington is,oh yeah, it's been waiting for its
export paperwork now for some years.

Andy (06:17):
Is it trying to leave?

Helen (06:18):
Yeah.
Is that where Ed Davey draws the line?
Because I don't, I won't

Adam (06:22):
work with children and animals.
I might look stupid.

Helen (06:26):
When a reform candidate was secretly recorded, making
racist and homophobic comments,what was Nigel Farage's Innocent
explanation for the man's actions.
He was just drunk.
Who among us?
Uh, he claimed that he waspossibly an actor hired by
Channel Four to discredit Reform.
Did?
Yes.
Yeah.
From the moment he walked in,the whole thing was an act.

(06:47):
And then he tried to get reformcanes to say rude and abusive things.
And when they wouldn't do it, he did ithimself for our set at a press conference.
Wow.
It's the only possible explanation.
Absolutely.

Andy (06:58):
Do we know who the actor was?
Is it someone famous?
BET CU Olivia Coleman.
Yeah.
It is it weird that theythought you'd get away with it?

Helen (07:05):
Toby Jones, he's in everything.
Um, last one.
Why did the former SMP Health MinisterMichael Matheson have his hollyood
salary withdrawn for 54 days thisyear, losing him 11,000 pounds.

Adam (07:20):
It's your favorite story, isn't it?
It's the iPad that hetook on holiday to Spain.
Was it Morocco?
Morocco, yes.
And then let his kids use the wifion it to watch the data roaming the
data roaming to watch the football.
Yes.
And then he came and then triedto claim it as an expense.
Yes.
It

Helen (07:35):
was constituency business.
Yeah, they, they docked his salary by theequivalent to the 11 grand expenses bill
he put on for using a data ro in Morocco.
It's just the

Adam (07:43):
most dad scandal ever, isn't it?
That he didn't know howto switch the data roam.

Andy (07:48):
You can set limits.

Helen (07:49):
Yeah.
25 pound limit and it sends you a textmessage going, you absolutely sure you
wanna carry on streaming the, the towitch witches kids said, yes, we do.
Yeah.
That is so funny.
It's not just doing that, it's justthinking, well, I'm not paying that bill.
Bloody kids.
Christmas.
That's Christmas elf.
What are the, how do the scores stand?

Elf (08:05):
halfhearted honk has four.
And he has three.

Andy (08:09):
Oh, okay.

Helen (08:10):
Well, I'm gonna hand over to you, Andy, for a cultural round.

Andy (08:14):
That's right.
Uh,

Helen (08:19):
I'm just testing the bell.
Yeah.
Okay.

Andy (08:22):
Okay, so this round is called the Culture Wars round, and
I have taken, 10 extracts from.
The diary that private eye publishesevery fortnight as told to Craig Brown.
And I would like you to tellme who is speaking, or rather
who Craig is channeling.

Helen (08:39):
I feel like this is one of those ones that is gonna be a lot
harder than you think from the outside.
Mm-hmm.
And we're gonna just feelprofoundly embarrassed throughout.

Andy (08:46):
I think that's probably true.
Craig will probably complain.
Craig will Sue.

Helen (08:51):
I do read.

Andy (08:56):
Okay.
I'll start and then, you know,we'll see how we get along.
And if, if things are drasticallydifficult by question three I'll
start doing accents and giving clues.
Okay?
Right.
Okay.
It is a crying shame that LeeAnderson never married Kate Middleton.
What an amazing power couple They wouldmake Lee with his strong manly opinions.
Chisel draw, genuine concern forothers and can do personality God's

Adam (09:16):
Alison Pearson.
Well done.

Andy (09:21):
Um.
I'll just finish it off 'cause it's such agreat line, Kate, with her lustrous legs.
Perfect figure and ability to charmthe . Proverbial birds outta the trees.
If there were any treesleft is the hard left.
Councils lop them all down to makeway for compulsory trans clinics.
Okay, Craig, being add.
Well done, Adam.
Brilliant.

Helen (09:38):
that's unfair though.
'cause you have probably read.
You are probably the only person alivewho has read every Allison Pearson column.
Oh God, I'm not that mad.

Andy (09:46):
Alright, here's one.
It's absolutely disgusting in thisday and age, and yet another sign of
the unspeakable depravity of this Torygovernment that anyone with the courage
to identify as a woman in the 21st centuryis being forcibly excluded from entering
the so-called Garrick Club on pain ofdeath, willing for a leftwing firebrand.

Helen (10:06):
Go on,

Andy (10:07):
Helen.
Take it.
Helen.

Helen (10:08):
I'm gonna say Billy Bragg.

Andy (10:10):
No, Adam Little Owen Jones is Little Owen Jones.

Helen (10:14):
I knew it was Owen Jones, but I didn't wanna be like, don't look
like the person who's obsessed withOwen Jones that's why I was letting

Adam (10:18):
you have it.

Helen (10:21):
That was a pity one.

Andy (10:22):
Here's the next one.
Sadly, I hadn't been longin Downing Street before.
I realized it was no placefor a Prime Minister.
I was literally being heldprisoner with a gun to my head
by an establishment, cabal Helen.
Trust it's trust.

Helen (10:35):
It's gotta be trust.

Andy (10:36):
next up, if I could own one painting, it would be the Mona Lisa.
She reminds me of myselfwhen I was her age.
Quiet and thoughtful.
Yes.
But also overflowing with youthfulenergy and idealism and full of the
zeal to create a truly global brand.
Yep.

Helen (10:51):
Is it Megan?

Andy (10:52):
It's not Megan.
It sounds very Meghan.
I was thinking you would guess Megan.
Adam, who makes big global brands real.
I, I can only think of Victoria Beckham.
It's Richard Branson.
Ah,

Adam (11:03):
yeah, no, recently.
Do you know what I was thinking of that?
Did you see that recently?
That there was a, with VictoriaBeckham did a launch of something and
she brought Harper along, who's theyoungest of the children, the only girl.
And she said, what's your,what's your Christmas wish?
And Harper Beckham said One day, I wouldlike to create an enormous brand just.
Such, oh, we had only the child ofthose particular parents would ever

Helen (11:25):
say that hope to achieve synergy between many of my So veb.
Yeah.

Andy (11:29):
Uh, okay.
Next up, there's an epidemic of de fever,sweeping the world, wreaking havoc.
I've never succumbeded de touchwood, but last week I felt a
slight kettle in my throat.
Through a mix of determination and workingclass guts I came through, but truly I
fear for today's coddled millennials.

Helen (11:47):
Is that an Nadine?

Andy (11:48):
It's an Aine.
Oh, that's Nadine Dorie.
It was the coddled

Helen (11:52):
millennials.
I was just like, that'sa Nadine, isn't it?
Come on.

Andy (11:54):
Really?
This is all just a declarationof how good Craig is or mm-hmm.
How good he is at channelingall of these people.
He's extraordinary.
okay.
Stuff and nonsense.
That's my reaction to the so-called starsnon-entities, more like who whinge about
so-called abuse on strictly come dancing.
They clearly never fought in thebattle of the P som, where plucky
young soldiers face the choice ofdeath at enemy hands or drawn out

(12:15):
misery and filthy rat filled trenches.

Helen (12:18):
Oh, that could be, that's the trouble is that is a kind
of whole style of colorism.

Andy (12:21):
I'm gonna, it is, it is a columnist.

Helen (12:23):
I'm gonna go Clarkson.

Andy (12:25):
It's, can I can I guess older?
Yeah, go on.

Adam (12:28):
Oh, older than Clarkson.
I was gonna say Amanda Patel.
I'd say a bit closer.
We're

Helen (12:34):
gonna get a letter from her library lawyer, Sarai.
It turns out that she'snot older than Clarkson.

Andy (12:37):
It's she, this lady straddles the divide between,
uh, columnist and politician.

Helen (12:41):
Oh,

Andy (12:42):
and is it strictly old hand herself?
Anne Whitaker.
It's Anne Whitaker.
There we go.
Well done.
I feel like I was givingthose clues even handed.
They

Adam (12:48):
recently act from the Daily Express.
Oh.
That was a nicely ambiguous noise.

Helen (12:54):
Oh, that's brand new information.

Andy (12:58):
I continue to be appalled.

Helen (13:00):
That's great.
We should just leave it there

Andy (13:02):
by assaults on traditional family values.
Reports coming through of rabidleft wing Muslim London mayor.
Sad it can't forcing a penguin atthe London Aquarium to wear pink to
conform with L-G-B-T-Q Zoo quotas.
No sik.
This is not politics.
It is bullying.
Pure and simple.

Helen (13:18):
I am gonna go little on that one.

Andy (13:20):
Not bad, but it's not little.

Helen (13:22):
They all sound like Alison Innocent.
I know, I know, I know.
It's a, it really shows you, there is astyle of COism, which is like a sort of y
or Y as everybody gay now because of woke.

Andy (13:32):
Yeah.
It's another telegraphy voice.

Adam (13:35):
Alistair Heath, Sherell Jacobs, I, I'm gonna have all the crazies.
I'm gonna

Helen (13:39):
be Alistair Heath.
Alistair Keath would be like, and that'swhy the Doom Apocalypse is A upon us.
Yes.
Yeah.

Andy (13:43):
It's Isabelle Oak Shot.
Oh,

Helen (13:45):
underrated choice there.
Yeah.

Andy (13:48):
Okay, Here's the penultimate one.
if there is a Democratic Party victory?
Their stated aim is to force us tospeak Mexican and Western sombreros
in our homes and workplaces.
Have you seen how big sombreros are?
This disastrous policy would mean wideningour doorways at the cost of billions.
So we could go in and out of ourhouses in this cumbersome headgear.

Helen (14:07):
I remember this one.
I'm thinking how funny it was, but I'mgonna say, I know Lionel Shriver did a
whole column about wearing a sombrero.
So I'm gonna say Lionel Shriver.
It's

Andy (14:14):
not Shriver.
Is it?
Mask?
It's mask.
Oh, oh yeah.
Done.

Helen (14:18):
You knew it was mask.
Oh,

Andy (14:20):
okay.
And here's the final one.
There's a portly, bumblebeecaught in my kitchen, skylight.

Helen (14:26):
It's,

Andy (14:27):
it's nine days later.

Helen (14:30):
That one's the one that's got all the adjectives in it, isn't it?
I just really love it, legislator.

Adam (14:34):
I know because so many people contacted me for about a month before.
I'm just saying, please makeCraig do the legislator book.
Please make Craig do the legislator.
It's fantastic.
There's,

Andy (14:42):
it's such a, like, people, people wrote letters in about
specifically this called the

Helen (14:45):
Musky charred Cardamom scented.
That's it.
Yeah.
After

Andy (14:48):
a struggle, I rescue him with a long handled feather duster from Fukuoka,
a cherished present from a dear friendand gently place him in my skillet.

Helen (14:57):
Yes, he cooks the beer served, served with a

Andy (14:58):
tart Gaby puree and Sego parsley.
Bumblebee Fritter makes aperfect midmorning snack.
Lovely.
Well, well done Everbody.
What Tourers are paying thebig bucks for, isn't it?

Elf (15:08):
So Adam scores nine, but now he's outta the game 'cause
he's doing the next round.
Right.
So he's frozen.
That's locked in.
He's peaked.
Andy still has three Tell is on two.

Adam (15:19):
I

Helen (15:19):
think we all know who's gonna win this one,

Elf (15:20):
don't we?
We never

Adam (15:22):
know if you, if you get every question right in my round,
So it's time for my round, uh,which is called The Year in Hackery.
Are you ready?
Weapons at the ready, please.
Why did Mr.
Justice Fan Court run througha catalog of the eyes?
Golden oldies at the high court,and who as the first edition
of the I in 2024 recorded waswhinging about not being invited.

Andy (15:45):
go for it.
It was a half holiday and they were,this was their version of watching
a video in court was to go throughgreat legal, uh, stuff that's
been covered in, in board games.
Yeah, that's, that's my, that's my answer.
Watching the Lion King.
Yeah, exactly.

Adam (15:58):
I'll give you a clue.
it's got a royal connection and,uh, the person who was winding
about not being invited never getsseen anywhere very much these days.

Helen (16:06):
Prince Andrew?

Adam (16:08):
Nope.

Helen (16:08):
Oh,

Adam (16:09):
the other one.
Prince Harry.
That's the one.
Hey, it was the case of the duke of Sussexand others versus Mirror Group newspapers,
which covered Mi Piers Morgan's Boose byhaving heard Paul McCartney's voicemail
messages to his then wife had themails in 2011 and the occasion in 2002
when Morgan detailed exactly how easyit was to hack mobile phone messages.
Do you remember who hewho he unveiled that to?

Helen (16:27):
Jeremy Paxman.

Adam (16:28):
Jeremy Paxman, Rick Johnson.
And.
So Victor Blank, the chairman.
The chairman, Ofer group,newspapers at a lunch.
Amazing, weird lunch to be having.
But anyway, yes, all, all ofthese were stories that the I had
revealed up to 13 years earlier andthey all got an earring in court.
Fantastic.
And moron reacted by whinging.
None of the lawyers involved had eventried to talk to him, but as we pointed
out, that was 'cause The mirror grouphave long since given up trying to

(16:49):
pretend he and his fellow editors wereunaware of the massive amount of phone
hacking going on in their papers.
Nice.
Next question.
January also saw the broadcast of Mr.
Bates versus the post office,which finally exploded.
The story that Richard Brookshad been following for the eye
since 2011 into the mainstream.
But which of the following longRunning eye investigations is not
currently being dramatized for TVA Who was really responsible for

(17:13):
the locker bee bombing, which theeye first started covering in 1989?
B, the contaminated blood scandal,which the eye first reported on
in 1987 or C, the sexual abuse ofHarris staff by Mohamed F, which the
eye first gave details of in 1998.

Helen (17:27):
I think they're not doing tainted blood.

Adam (17:30):
And I'm gonna say

Andy (17:31):
I think they're not

Adam (17:32):
doing Herod's and I'm afraid the point goes to Andy.
Yeah, that's good.
As yet, no plans todramatize the fired story.
That's only because the, uh, crownon Netflix arranged such a good job.
Yeah.
Of dramatizing exactly what he was like.
Um, spare of thought for the act.
Nadeem Salah, by the way,who used to do one man shows.
Uh, pretending to be, uh, Mohammed f Edand has now completely lost that, that,

(17:53):
that aspect of his enjoyment of his enjoy.
Think about all the

Helen (17:55):
queen lookalikes who no longer get any work.
Unless you, they want them tohave beyond the grave opening
a leisure center or something.
Well, those

Adam (18:01):
poor people who were doing Gary Glitter tribute acts up until about 1999.

Andy (18:05):
My Michael go work has tail off completely.
It's been very sad since the election.

Adam (18:09):
We should send you, put some glasses on you and send
you into the Spectator office.
See it takes them to you.
Really cheap version of Ludwig.
He

Helen (18:16):
can go and sort of do edit bit of copy.

Adam (18:23):
In February, the reports to the government commissioned into the T
side Regeneration Project championedby Tory Mayor Ben Houchin, Lord
Houchin, as he now was published.
As the eye showed, it confirmed thatdubious deals had been struck with
no formal decision making process.
The Board of the South Teas DevelopmentCorporation misled and that taxpayers
were taking all the risk on the project.
While the businessmen involvedhad no liability at all, but had

(18:43):
extracted tens of millions from it.
Is there a question atany point how It's more

Helen (18:47):
of a comment, this question,

Adam (18:49):
how did Houchin react to these findings?

Andy (18:53):
Uh, he, he claimed it was a total of indication.
The report and did it was actually very

Adam (18:58):
supportive.
Absolutely.
It, the phrase I've got writtendown here is Dickie Boo.
He just said everything was fine.
Nothing to see.
The people of Tee Side Darlingtonand Hartley Polk can welcome this
investigation, which sets out inblack and white that there is no
corruption or illegality at Tea Works.
And of course, because, youknow, our private eye stories
have such an enormous effect.
They did appear to agree voting inback in as Tea Valley Mayor in May.

Helen (19:18):
Yay.

Adam (19:20):
It's just a deferred retribution,

Andy (19:21):
that's all it is.

Helen (19:23):
30 years time.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just your way Come from

Andy (19:25):
um, I'm loving this round of, um,

Helen (19:28):
extremely boring questions.
No, I

Andy (19:29):
was gonna say vengeance concealed us quiz.
It's brilliant.
See, this is the, aren't we great?
Right?

Helen (19:35):
Yeah.

Andy (19:36):
Oh, okay.
Another long question.
No, I,

Helen (19:38):
no, the questions have been lovely.
That one I have.
That one was a little chewy.
Good luck getting,

Andy (19:41):
good luck getting any points.
Helen.
No, you're think we've ascertains.
You're

Helen (19:45):
the only one who can take down Adam.
I'm entirely, I'm throwing this match.

Adam (19:51):
George Galloway, yes.
Won the Rochdale by-electionfor his workers Party of Britain
and greeted private eyes.
Coverage of Theophile, outpourings ofsome of his supporters by tweeting at us.

Helen (20:01):
Cry more?

Adam (20:03):
Cry war.
Cry more.
Oh, cry more.
No, very much not.
Not cry, cry war.
'cause then he was defeated byPaul War at the general election
that as the labor candidate.
But was Galloway's reign inRochdale longer or shorter
than Michelle Bar's equally?
Unedifying stint as French Prime Minister.
Ooh.
I mean, you're bothgonna get a go at this.

(20:23):
I'm gonna

Helen (20:23):
say, I'm gonna go longer.

Adam (20:25):
and I'll say shorter.
Okay, Andy, you was just wrong.
And, uh, it was, it wasvery, very well done.
Helen.
Longer, uh, Galloway lasted 126 days asMP for Rochdale, which is approximately
two and a half Liz trusses, whereasBarney managed, I mean, in 90 days as
French Prime Minister, which is 1.8Liz Trusses, or 360 periods of Martial
Marshall, Lawrence, South Korea.

Helen (20:45):
That's very good.

Adam (20:46):
Oh God.
These are all really,really long questions.
Um, I try, try and edit as I go.

Helen (20:50):
No, I like that.
Other people have quizzes thatare just simple questions.
Yours come with footnotes.
I love explanatory diagrams.
All of the

Andy (20:58):
questions are a statement of, of one length or another, followed by, but how

Adam (21:04):
There's no, but in this one.
in May.
Before anyone had found out what HughEdwards had really been up to, the son
declared it's disgusted at the BBC keepingdetails of its internal investigation
into what they had reported secret.
The eye pointed out the son was beingequally quiet about his own internal
investigation into his former staremployee Dan Wooten and his cat fishing
of colleagues who alleged he'd trickedthem into sending him compromising

(21:25):
photos and videos of themselves.
On the very day that the editionof that edition of this EI
came out, the sun reacted.
How there was a but

Helen (21:33):
hang when it reacted to what Reacted.
Reacted

Adam (21:35):
to the eye coming out saying they were keeping things secret.
Uh ooh.
That was kind of joint.
We'll let you go, Andy.

Helen (21:43):
Yeah.

Adam (21:43):
They completely ignored it.
Amazingly they didn't in this case,

Helen (21:47):
didn't they?
Fire Dun wouldn't.

Adam (21:49):
He was long gone from the sun by this one.
Okay.
He'd he'd been fired byGB News by this point.
No.
The informed men who'd given evidence tothe inquiry that they were gonna continue
to keep all the details a secret and noteven tell them what had been found out.
Uh, but this hasn't since you askedStop the Sun from Demon to know why
the BBC didn't do something aboutGreg Wallace's behavior sooner.
a big RA blew up in September afterthe press court onto the fact that

(22:11):
new Prime Minister Ki Starer, alongwith his wife and plenty of his
colleagues, had been taking freebiesfrom millionaire Labor donor.
Lord Ali.

Helen (22:17):
Can I say it's very hard to concentrate what Andy's Andy has.
His, his, his bells are rocking.
Okay.
In a pleasant way.
I'm sorry.
I'll ready

Adam (22:25):
with those bells.
Andy, he's putting me off becausethe actual question is coming up.
When did I readers first findout who was paying for Starman
suit and suits and glasses?
Ooh.
Um, go on Helen,

Helen (22:35):
earlier.
You wanna

Adam (22:37):
go for

Helen (22:38):
a month?
That's all

Adam (22:39):
I'll say.
February.
It was in June, a monthbefore election day.
Oh, okay.
I was right.
You were wrong.
It was far from the first time we'dhighlighted his freebies because in
October, 2023, we pointed out that the4,500 pound bill for his family summer
holiday had been picked up by, of allplaces, a Swansea Van leasing company.
And we said at the that point,his freeloading is starting

(23:00):
to look rather conspicuous.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
You heard it here first.
Which of the following is not agenuine headline from an Alistair
Heath column in the Daily Telegraph?
Oh, great.
As featured in a hack watch thisyear, we are the West's last
generation before the new Dark Agestarer sinister plan for Britain
will end the country as we know it.

(23:22):
Armageddon is upon us and Britainwill never be the same again.
I fear nobody can save Britain fromits inevitable, catastrophic claps.
Go on.
I think they're all real.

Helen (23:34):
Oh, it's a trick question.
I think

Adam (23:36):
it's a trick question.
They're all.
They are not all Alistair Heath columns.
Oh

Helen (23:40):
dang.
Okay.
I'm gonna go for number two.
Whatever that one was.

Adam (23:42):
No, it wasn't.
It was number four because that was hiscolleague Sharel Jacob, December, 2023.
All genuine telegraph ones though.
Fantastic.

Helen (23:50):
Oh my God.
Is upon us.
I mean, amazing.
Incredible.
You just, the way you file

Adam (23:54):
copy under

Andy (23:54):
those circumstances, really,

Helen (23:56):
that's professionalism.
Yeah, absolutely.
I just like the idea of Alistair Heathgoing about his business like his, you
know, his wife hasn't put the bins outand he's just like, oh my goodness.
Upon us, the bins have not been put out.

Adam (24:05):
In August, the eye pointed out to the department for Science, innovation
and Technology that Simon Bladon, theformer chairman of Fujitsu uk, who is now
serving as the chair of their broadbandbody building digital UK, had been
misleading them about his involvement inthe horizon scandal at the post office.
What happened next?
go on.

Helen (24:23):
He was fired.
He was,

Adam (24:25):
yeah.
Oh, well, he lost his job.
They, the DSIT announced that SimonBlagdon has resigned as chair of BD UK on
18th of July, 2024 with immediate effect.
So a rare quick result for the terrific.

Andy (24:36):
Yeah.

Adam (24:37):
Only took however many years we covering office scandal
to actually get one of those.
Also, in August, one of Britain's biggestmanufacturers announced a new sustainable
product that we believe is both is saferfor both the user and the environment.
Who were they and what was it?

Andy (24:52):
could you give us a clue?
Is it to be used in the home?
Oh, uh, B bombs Smart.
B uh, B uh, BAE or didn't do that.
It was, it was BAE.
It was one of the big Lockheed Martin,one of the big weapons manufacturers.
They said, we've got a fantastic new bombthat is gonna leave much less plastic
pollution in the ground of the crater.
It's close enough.

Adam (25:11):
It was BAE systems.
It was the first of their new gen, nextgeneration munitions, which was a 155
millimeter shell, the kind being usedheavily in Israel's war in Gaza, but it
would now feature a lead free explosive.

Helen (25:22):
Oh, that's.
Very sustainable, very, very happy New

Adam (25:25):
Year's.
So you won't, it's gonna beavailable to all war mongers
sanctions, permitting from 2025.

Andy (25:30):
You won't get lead poisoning basically as you, uh, yeah.
Yeah.
That's it.
You will, will be dead.

Adam (25:34):
Yeah.
You won't be poisonedwith lead, so that's nice.
Uh, okay, this is myfinal question for you.
In September, ACC claim wentviral on Twitter, the social
media site, now known as x.
Because it's toxic andeveryone's left it private eye.
Haven't printed a wordabout Charlotte Owen.
Is this a coincidenceor a super injunction?
How many times had private eyeprinted words or put them out on

(25:54):
this very podcast about CharlotteOwen being appointed to the Lords?
At that point,

Helen (25:59):
I'm gonna say we did it four times

Adam (26:01):
and I'll say three.
Okay, well you're bothwrong 'cause it's five Oh.

Helen (26:05):
Helen's first, the first

Adam (26:06):
way back in September, 2022, and one episode of this very podcast in February.
In which we discussed at length.
Fact, there definitelywasn't a super injunction.
Covering the appointment of CharlotteOwen into the Lords and her super
injunctions really aren't a big thinganymore and haven't been for years.
But no one,

Helen (26:18):
once again, I say it didn't matter.
And proof of how journalismworks, simply no one cared.

Adam (26:23):
So the winner there, definitely not the I, except in one case, Simon Blagdon.
Brilliant one, are theschools Christmas Health.

Elf (26:30):
Helen has five.
Yeah, Andy has eight.
Gets it with mine.
Thank you.
Woo.

Andy (26:42):
Wow.
I think if you win next year, Adam, youget to take the podcast home for kids.
Well,

Adam (26:47):
like the school hamster

Andy (26:49):
Christmas holiday, so you gotta feed it.
Um oh.
Well thank you so muchfor playing everybody.
Thank you for listening at home.
We hope you've enjoyed 2024.
And we hope you enjoy it 2025 evenmore, and keep on reading the eye and
listening to this wonderful podcast.
We'll see you next time.
Thanks as always, to Matt Hillof Ruth and Cordio for producing.
Bye for now and happyNew Year when it comes,