Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:06):
Hey guys, welcome to
the In the Lobby podcast.
Today you have a solo episodewith your girl, cass.
I really wanted to do anepisode on really betting on
yourself and showing up as theperson that you want to become.
(00:28):
You know, it's like if you'veever felt trapped and like
there's a version of the realyou that's inside of you, but
you felt like you're being heldback by your full potential.
I feel like that's somethingall of us have felt at one at
one point or another, and we'reall really capable of showing up
(00:54):
and being the person that wewant to be.
Anyone who you're inspired by,whether that's, you know, grant
Cardone or Gary Vee or AlexHormozy all of these people that
inspire us.
They're just people at the endof the day, but the one thing
(01:15):
that all of them have done isbet on themselves.
And even lately I've been goingto a lot of like sound healing
and sound therapy, which Ihighly recommend.
It's so beautiful and sohealing, and at the end of this
episode I'll talk about whereI'm going in Austin to do this
(01:40):
sound healing, do this soundhealing, but the thing that I've
gotten from it is, at the endof the day, the one person you
can count on is you.
When you're laying there andyou're kind of in a meditative
state, you really have to tapinto yourself and get in tune
(02:00):
with yourself, and it reallyreminds me personally that I
have my own back and I can showup for myself and the only thing
that limits me is my ownbeliefs.
So I think that's reallyimportant when it comes to
(02:21):
intentionally showing up as theperson that you want to become,
and I think the thing that makesyou become the person who you
want to be is your goals andyour habits, and the things that
you're doing daily are what getyou to be the person that you
(02:45):
want to become.
So I've been on this kind ofjourney of like self-discovery
and growth and self-reflectionand at the beginning of 2024, I
really asked myself like who Iwanted to be.
Like what does the best versionof Cassandra look?
(03:09):
Like?
Showing up for herself everyday?
Like is she showing up workingfrom home with no makeup, just
wearing sweatpants, not workingout, not eating, not
prioritizing the things that areimportant to her?
And I was like absolutelyfucking not.
(03:29):
So I started to think aboutwhat the best version of myself
looks like and what the womanthat I want to become looks like
, and how she moves every dayand what her routine looks like.
And I think the one thing weall have to remember is the
(03:51):
things that we want and theversion of who we want to be.
In some form, it already existsin the quantum field, if we're
thinking about it in that way,like that version of you does
exist.
You just have to show up andput the action behind it.
(04:11):
So your desired self, you'renot that far away from it.
And so for me, wanting to be thewoman that I wanted to become,
I knew that I would have toshift some of my habits.
For sure, like I wanted to begetting up super early, like 6
(04:34):
am, working out.
I wanted to eat a healthybreakfast, be showered, be
dressed in a really nice outfit,like all of this, before even
starting my day.
They say, like when you worklike a nine to five, it's like
what are you doing the five tonine before you start your work
(04:55):
day?
And so, the beginning of 2024,I kind of bet on myself and I
went and got a really expensivegym membership.
So I went and joined Equinoxhere in Austin and I was so
hesitant to join this gym, eventhough it's something I put on
(05:20):
my vision board.
It was something I was wantingto do, but I just I kind of had
some limiting beliefs around it,like Equinox is not a cheap gym
, it's probably like a $220 amonth gym membership.
And I kept telling myself.
I was like I can't afford this,it's too expensive, that's for
(05:44):
rich people.
And I don't think that was theway to look at it because, a the
$220 was an investment inmyself.
B when you join a gym like that, you're putting yourself around
people who are moving in adifferent way.
(06:05):
They're people who are showingup every day, committing to you
know their health and wellness,and the people I'm around are,
like you know, doctors,executives, really like high
value people.
And so I kind of jumped the gun.
Even when I didn't feel quitefinancially ready, or I was
(06:29):
slightly concerned about thefinancial aspect of it, I signed
up and I haven't looked backfor one second and I'll just say
this I looked at my littleEquinox app.
I think the last threemonths've like almost checked
into that gym like 28 days outof 30, almost every single month
(06:51):
.
Um, it's completely likeimproved my mood, um, obviously,
how I feel in my body Cause I'mshowing up, I'm working out,
just everything.
So I feel like sometimes we canput these limiting beliefs
around what we deserve or whatwe can afford.
(07:14):
And once I committed to the gymand signed up, I just kind of
shifted my finances around tomake it work for me and I feel
like it's made me level up inlike so many different ways.
And I feel the same thing aboutmy car and so for the longest
(07:34):
time I drove this like beat upshitty Mazda three and the nice
thing about the car was that thecar was paid off and the nice
thing about the car was that thecar was paid off.
But I never felt good aboutmyself driving the car.
I was honestly always kind ofembarrassed to show up somewhere
(08:01):
in the car, whether it was, youknow, valet at a nice
restaurant.
I even remember I had amatchmaker set me up.
She found me on LinkedIn.
She was like setting me up fora date and she had like a list
of rules and requirements thatshe would give to the girls that
were going to go on a date withone of her clients and one of
the requirements on the ruleswas to make sure that your car
(08:25):
was nice, clean and tidy and Iwas like so mortified.
I remember I think I called mysister and I was like Katie,
there's only so much I can dowith my car.
It's a 2013 beat up Mazda, andso that's another thing.
I took kind of a jump on beforeI felt ready and I switched my
(08:49):
car out for nothing crazy, butlike a 2023 Kia Sportage, and
it's nothing fancy.
It's not a sports car, it hasred interior, but it just makes
me feel so much better every daywhen I get in that car and it
makes me feel so worthy becauseit makes me work harder and push
(09:12):
harder at my finances and mycareer, because my car payment's
not cheap, my gym membership'snot cheap, but they're all
things that have like addedvalue to my life.
Whether it's safety from thecar, I feel much safer driving
the car.
Before I was almost terrifiedto drive in my Mazda because I'm
(09:34):
such a bad driver.
So I think sometimes we putthese ideas in our head of what
we can and can't have and if wejust go ahead and take that leap
, you have to believe inyourself that you're going to
show up for yourself and make ithappen.
Like I'm never going to missout on, like paying my gym
(09:56):
membership.
I've committed to the contract,so now I'm in it and I've got
to make that payment.
I think that's why you have tokind of align yourself with.
(10:18):
You know your actions and yourkind of like desired identity.
So you know, just the gymmembership in the car were like
two pieces of what that womanlooked like for me and what I
wanted to show up as.
And another big one was I haveall these beautiful clothes in
(10:41):
my closet and I wanted to belike a well-dressed woman.
I wanted to look like a highvalue woman, I wanted to be a
successful woman and I had tostart thinking about what does a
woman like that wear?
And not only did that changewhat I was wearing to the gym,
it changed what I was wearingafter my workout and the way
(11:05):
that I looked when I walked outof the gym every day.
And you know, sometimes I feelsilly, like I'll put on like the
nicest outfit, I'll walk out ofthe gym and I know that I'm
just going to go sit at a coffeeshop and work remotely.
But it's changed my wholeself-concept on, like how I feel
(11:25):
about myself.
And I mean, if you really thinkabout it.
It doesn't take any longer toput on a nice dress than it does
a pair of sweatpants.
And I keep asking myself thatquestion because sometimes I'm
so dressed up when I walk out ofthe gym and I'm like what would
(11:45):
I say to someone if they everasked me like you know, why are
you trying so hard?
Why are you putting so mucheffort in?
Because I find that when youwear something different than
what other people are, you know,if you're not wearing Lululemon
workout pants and you'reactually wearing a nice outfit,
people sometimes are going tolook at you like what are you
(12:07):
doing?
And you just have to remindyourself that you're doing this
for you and you're going to showup better for yourself when you
look better.
So I think the first step isunderstanding your desired self
(12:48):
and what that looks like for you, and a lot of times it's
stepping into something that'salmost uncomfortable, right,
like if I'm going to be a womanthat's doing all of these things
whether that's working out twohours a day, running a podcast,
having a full time job, tryingto date and you know, like
(13:08):
that's a woman that's going tobe really busy and she's not
going to have a lot of time andyou know, I was talking to one
of my girlfriends about this theother day and I was laughing
because Kim Kardashian said inan interview I have the best
advice for women in business andshe just said get your fucking
(13:30):
ass up and work.
She was like nobody wants towork these days and a lot of
people gave her such a hard timeand made so much fun of her.
I feel like for saying that.
But that woman works her assoff.
Like, if you think about it, doyou think it's easy to get up
every single day?
Have kids run multiplebusinesses, put on a full face
(13:55):
of makeup, always have to beseen in the public eye, moving
from appointment to appointment,whether that's a fashion shoot,
her TV show, her clothing line.
That woman is booked and busyand that is exhausting.
And if you're sitting in aplace of like complacency and
(14:16):
not reaching your full potentialwhen you step into a version of
yourself that's doing more,that's putting more effort in,
it's going to be exhausting.
It's not.
It's not easy, okay, um, evenElon Musk's ex-wife, um, even
(14:37):
Elon Musk's ex-wife, even ElonMusk's ex-wife, justine Musk.
When she was asked you knowadvice from an ex-wife, you know
of being a billionaire.
She said that you have to learnto handle, you know, a level of
(15:00):
stress that would break mostpeople.
So you're gonna have to learnhow to handle stress better and,
like really think about whatthat version of you would look
like.
(15:28):
I know, for me, like a big pieceof this um, in trying to show
up as who I wanted to be, thewoman I want to be was like
trying to overcome some of theselike limiting beliefs I have
around myself.
You know, even so many timeswith the podcast or any time
(15:52):
I've tried entrepreneurship inmy life, like I've had such a
fear of failure and self-doubtand that's what's going to
hinder you versus the personthat's successful, and that's
what the difference is is youhave to believe in yourself, you
(16:15):
have to reframe the negativethoughts that you have in your
head and, like realistically,you have to set goals that are
going to be achievable for youand that that sounds easy.
But overcoming limiting beliefsis not an easy thing to do and
(16:38):
there's steps that you have totake in that process to help you
.
Like if you're feeling reallyinsecure about your body and you
want to be someone that, likewalks into a room like the most
confident person.
It's not going to happenovernight, like there's
practices you have to instilland there's so many ways you can
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like help yourself overcomelimiting beliefs, whether that's
, like you know, going totherapy, going to sound healing
or even tapping.
Tapping is not something that Ipractice on a regular basis,
but it's supposed to really helpyou rewire your thoughts about
(17:24):
yourself.
I know, for me I always try toimagine like a yellow glowing
bubble around me and then itstarts to make me feel like more
confident and it just kind ofreminds me that like it's all
internal and you know so it's.
(17:44):
It's just cultivating thatgrowth mindset and that healing
mindset and then realizing it'snot going to be perfect.
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I think one of the biggestthings for me was cultivating
the habits and rituals that youknow I felt like were going to
make me the woman that I wantedto be.
I remember a few years ago I'm29.
I was probably 21 at the time.
(18:26):
I was really having a roughtime in my life, like it was
like I was sad, but it wasaffecting so many different
aspects of my life, like where Iwas eating like junk food and I
wasn't sleeping enough and itjust was like this whole domino
effect of what was going on inmy life.
(18:48):
And I remember a friendreferred to me this book, the
Power of Habit, which I thinkAtomic Habits is another book
that's really popular and I wantto read that book.
I haven't read it, but Istarted back in the day with the
book the Power of Habit andwhat that book taught me.
(19:11):
I think the one thing that Itook away from that book that
still resonates was get up everyday and make your bed, and
since I read that book eightyears ago, that's been one small
habit I've implemented in mylife every single day, and it's
it's had a profound effect on mylife.
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There's something so nice about,no matter what's going on in
your day, if you come home andyour bed's made and you know you
have a nice, clean bed to getinto.
It's so life changing and it'sall these small habits that add
up to make something sobeautiful of your day.
(19:53):
Right, like I'm alwaysconsistently trying to add more
and more small habits into mylife, like even lately I've been
doing like oil pulling withcoconut oil because it's
supposed to be good for yourteeth, and then like tongue
scraping because that's supposedto be good for you and it's
(20:13):
just slowly adding in thesesmall things that make such a
big difference.
This is like another weird one,but like I started wearing like
perfume every day and makingsure that I was wearing perfume
and I think just even smellinglike a high value woman and
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wearing nice perfume it made melike want to show up for myself
and just kind of changed mywhole mindset.
So it's just looking at yourhabits and your rituals and
seeing if they're pushing youfurther to where you want to be
or if they're hindering you.
(20:57):
You know, and I try, I try tolook at things as appointments,
specifically the gym, like everyday I look at the gym when I go
as an appointment and I'm nevergoing to miss that appointment
when I was in one of themessiest times of my life.
I would like blow throughappointments, I would like mess
(21:19):
up the timing and I'm still notperfect at it, but it's one
thing that I always am trying todo is trying to show up and
trying to be there when there'slike appointments on my calendar
, and it's not always easy, butit's something that you know,
(21:56):
you think that's the thing and II tell this to Roger all the
time is like the power ofconsistency, because, you know,
even with this podcast, it'sjust every day doing.
Every day I'm working on thispodcast, whether it's like the
smallest little things, if I'mlike tweak, if I'm if I'm
(22:19):
tweaking a link on YouTube, orif I'm working on the website,
or I'm like if I'm tweaking alink on YouTube, or if I'm
working on the website or I'mtrying to find a guest.
The one thing that I'm doingevery single day is being
consistent.
And it's like we all know thattime moves so fast.
I mean, it's already almostApril and I really started this
(22:42):
journey January of 2024 and thispodcast January of 2024.
And it's like, if you'reconsistent, it's going to happen
.
If you're showing up every dayand doing small little things
towards your goal, you're goingto become that version of
yourself.
(23:23):
I think you also have to look atthe things that are setting you
back from your goals, whetheryou know it's your, your friends
, um, maybe even like the placeyou're living isn't like a right
fit for you know who you wantto be or what you want to become
.
We all go through phases inlife, right, but if you, if you
(23:47):
want to move forward fast andbecome that version of you.
You have to do some likeself-reflection, like, um, if
you want to be really healthy,maybe you shouldn't be, you know
, out at the bars all the timeor drinking all the time, you
know.
And maybe you should pay forthe more expensive gym because
(24:08):
you want to put yourself aroundother like-minded, you know
individuals, because it's soeasy to get stuck on this like
hamster wheel of feeling trappedin our, in our life and who we
are, and you know, any day youcan really wake up and decide to
be a new version of yourself.
(24:31):
You really can.
But it's also understanding thatwho you are right now is
sufficient.
You're enough as you are andpushing to be the best version
of yourself is just the habitsand routines that are going to
(24:52):
get you to that right.
And it's not going to be like astraightforward path, like
there's going to be bumps andchallenges and obstacles along
the way, but I think that's okayif you're showing up for
yourself authentically.
You know, and I just look at itlike this, because the vision
(25:15):
board that I created at thebeginning of the year with the
woman that I want to be like ina lot of ways I talked about
this I have like become thatversion of me that I wanted to
become, um, and so it's just,it's just pursuing it and going
after it, because you knowthere's no one doing anything
(25:38):
that anyone else is doing you'recapable of as well.
So it's just believing inyourself and showing up as that
version of you, yeah, and so Iwish Roger was here with me, but
he's not today.
But I mean, it's just so easy toembody your desired self, and I
(26:05):
just want to encourage you guysto embrace the journey of
personal growth and showing upauthentically as the person that
you desire to become Um,because nothing's holding you
back, nothing's stopping you,and I think you know deep down
(26:27):
what you're capable of.
And if you want more out of life, you just have to reflect on
what that looks like for you andwhere you want to go.
And there's so many ways to dothat.
Whether it's to go and there'sso many ways to do that whether
it's journaling, meditation,sound healing therapy you have
(26:51):
to look deep inside of yourselfand see where you want to go.
So I'm going to leave you withthis, this line pursue
compassion and self-awareness,then one day, love will tap you
gently on the shoulder and sayI'm here Unknown, and so I feel
(27:12):
like that applies to pursuingyourself.
When you're pursuing yourselfand you're putting the
consistency in, one day life'sjust going to tap you on the
shoulder and you're going toarrive at the destination of the
person who you want to become.
So, as always, you know it'sgoing down.
I don't have Roger, but I hopeyou guys get some takeaways from
(27:35):
this, because it's reallypossible to be who you want to
become, and I'll see you nextweek in the lobby.
Xoxo, cass.