February 1, 2024 • 43 mins
#17: Join us as we share the heartfelt and serendipitous origin story behind In the Lobby. From an unexpected meeting in a lobby to navigating career setbacks, platonic friendship, and the quirks of Austin’s dating scene, this episode dives deep into the connections that shape us.
We recount how a denied podcast co-hosting pitch turned into the collaboration of a lifetime, offering a raw and hilarious look at the ups and downs of building a partnership. Along the way, we explore breakups, dating expectations, and the differences between romantic dynamics in New York City and Texas.
Whether it’s the therapeutic rhythm of sharing stories, awkward yet memorable Chili’s dates, or the vulnerability of creating something meaningful, this episode is packed with laughter, introspection, and insights into the modern dating landscape.
If you’re here for dating advice, relationship insights, or just to feel like part of the gang, pull up a chair. In the Lobby is where it all goes down—every Thursday!
Single? Meet us at the thursdayº Event.Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.
You can follow Pain In My Cass Podcast: @paininmycasspod
You can follow Cassandra Jean:
@paininmycass_
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Okay, you ready to do this?
I'm ready, I'm excited, I'm sonervous.
Okay, welcome to In the Lobbypodcast.
I'm so pumped to be sittinghere doing this with you.
I'm Cass this is Roger overhere so excited that we're doing
(00:21):
this podcast together.
Are you excited?
Speaker 2 (00:25):
I think the biggest thing is that it's been a long
time coming.
I'm happy to have a stage and aplatform where we get to enjoy
some of the conversations wehave in private and put it on a
camera.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
For sure.
I feel like I've already knownyou for a long time.
How many?
Speaker 2 (00:40):
years now.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Like two or three years.
That's crazy.
And we met here in Austin atWanderlust Wine Company.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
I feel like COVID just makes me forget how much
time has gone by.
I mean, what three years?
And before that we wereenjoying ourselves grabbing wine
at Wanderlust.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Yeah, I mean, that was like three years ago and I
just have to give a huge shoutout to Sammy who runs Wanderlust
.
Oh, yeah great guy.
Yeah, like the things thatthey're doing there with their
tap wine is so cool have youbeen to the second location.
I have yeah, I have not yet.
I mean the Wine Wednesday eventthat he was having for a while
(01:24):
there.
It was such a good networkingevent and that's where I met you
and that's where we kind ofbecame friends.
I was prospecting.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
I was at work, off of work, like you were in my book
of business at a CRM company Iwas at and I was trying to get
you to become a client.
You've got to talk louder.
I was trying to get you tobecome a client.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Yeah, hold on.
Sorry, I'm going to breathethere for a second, but you've
got to talk louder, really, okay.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Maybe I should move it closer.
Oh, interesting.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
It's like you're no, it's fine.
Okay, yeah, we'll just jumpback into it.
Yeah, so we are at Wanderlustand you were trying to prospect
me as a client for a CRM companythat you were working for.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
I was hunting when I was off of work?
Yes, yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
So I said, roger, if you're going to try and have me
use your CRM that you weretrying to sell me, then you're
going to have to buy me a drinkand I use that tap to my
advantage.
Yeah, the wine tap for sure,and I don't even think you were
drinking wine, you were drinkinglike the Margarita mix
Margarita.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Big tequila guy over here.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Yeah, do you not drink wine?
Speaker 2 (02:42):
I'm a red wine guy, but I just have a hard time to
chug it or enjoy it any otherway than over some good music at
home watching a movie.
If I'm chugging red wine, wehave a problem.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
Yeah, and I mean I know that even when I met you at
Wanderlust you were liketalking to another chick kind of
and I just came up in there.
I was like you know what thisguy's trying to sell to me, so I
know I can get a free drink outof him.
Absolutely.
And sure enough.
You were a gentleman and youbought me a drink because I was
a little bit pushy.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Yeah, I think that was one of my friends while I
was there.
But either way, you took theauthority from that conversation
and you definitely got yourselfa drink, for sure, yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
So I mean we kind of became friends there, yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
I mean, I met somebody that I definitely
respected the way in which youengaged in conversation and I
definitely was for sure tryingto get you to become a client
while I was at the other company.
But I think the more importantthing was I agreed to respect
you.
I think you have a presence toyou, you're not afraid of
anybody and you don't reallytake any shit.
So I mean, I mean that'ssomebody.
(03:49):
I want my company to be honestwith you.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
It was funny because, like we hung out then and then
we kind of stopped hanging outfor a little bit.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
And then you needed a job at one point.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
I sure did.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
And I did my best.
I helped you get a job.
We kind of became coworkers.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
I feel like you set me up with a conversation with
someone you knew I would getalong with and it just hit off.
I mean huge respects to thatguy.
I have a lot of respect for himand for him to give me the
opportunity, but I don't want totalk about it.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Yeah, I mean, I hear you cutting it Right.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
I think it was just more you network appropriately
and you connect your connector.
I think that's another thingwhy I definitely enjoy you in my
company and my community ofpeople, your connector and so am
I.
We know a lot of people andit's always nice to connect
people you know will get along,and I think we both kind of have
that answer sometimes.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
No, I love that you're saying that, because I
feel like I'm such a connector.
And it cracks me up, though,because I feel like all peace
people I know together and thenthey'll make so much money from
like the connections I've likethrown their way.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
What about me?
Speaker 1 (04:58):
I'm really leaving money on the table, like I
should be charging referral fees.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
I feel like you're just doing it for the right
reasons.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
I am Otherwise it becomes a manipulation.
Oh, for sure, yeah, but thenyou know our podcast, the
premise of it, yeah, the name.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Well, I think we got to give some more history right.
Like you, you know, I did askto be on your podcast when it
was just you.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
You had your own show going and I told you, I really
wanted to be a part and you toldme a flat out hell, no.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
I forgot about that because when we were coworkers
at the tech company, we wereworking for it together.
I think this was like two,three years ago.
No, it was like two years ago.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Two years ago now.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
Yeah, I was developing my own podcast and
you asked me.
When I told you that I wasdoing this, you were like can I
be a co-host?
And I was literally like fuck,no.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
Oh, I was super excited.
I thought I thought I had theanswer.
Yeah, no, you were so ready togo.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
I thought it was sweet that you asked me.
But I was like, look, this is aone woman show and I'm going to
make this happen, and at thetime I was putting so much like
equity and sweat and blood andtears sweat equity into this
little podcast that I wasbuilding.
You know, like I was watchingall of these YouTube videos
about how to do a podcast.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
But was this like something you always knew you
wanted to do?
Because I feel like podcastingis something that's kind of like
hitting off.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Yeah, really recently .
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Yeah, but is this more of like a passion project,
or you just were that kid, thatkind of like, had a microphone
in front of you when you wereyounger?
Speaker 1 (06:31):
No, that's a good question, but I first started
trying to do a podcast in 2019actually and I recorded a clip
like a little podcast intro andI posted it and I got such like
negative feedback from myfriends.
They were really mean.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
Was this on YouTube, or what?
Speaker 1 (06:52):
It was, I think it was hosted on like Spotify, like
I was doing it through ahosting platform, and it really
affected me getting negativefeedback on something that I was
so excited about, so then Ijust kind of scrapped it, which
is, you know, not the best thingto do.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
No, I don't think it's the worst thing, yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Yeah, but then I feel like what happened for me and
why I really got re-involved inthe podcasting space is I talk,
I swear, swear.
This is the last time I'mtalking about this, but I went
through a really, really badbreakup, like it literally broke
me as a person and we've gotthem all.
(07:34):
Yeah, it took me to the lowestlows I've ever been in my entire
life and it still, like, deeplyaffects me to this day, and so
I was trying to pull a TaylorSwift, olivia Rodrigo situation
where I was like and thennegative energy is something
positive.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
I feel like when you're sad, that's when, like,
some of the best songs come out,that's when artists make some
of their best music.
You know, and I was like I canutilize this sadness to express
myself in a creative way.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
Do you feel like you talked about your ex a lot when
you first started podcasting, orthat was just purely your gas
to your engine?
Speaker 1 (08:18):
So yes.
I know um, the first episode Idid on that podcast was a
situation ship, and it was thefirst Situation ship after my ex
, and so it was me telling thatstory.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
I don't know this.
Did you like this guy?
What's going on?
Speaker 1 (08:38):
Yeah, but he was weird, okay, and so I know some
weird ones out there.
There's some weird ones.
So I feel like it was metalking a lot about
Relationships and dating andthings of that sort, you know.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
Yeah, I think For me it's a little different, right,
I definitely have experiencedexes and breakups and dating.
I think dating in Austin is awhole different animal.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
It's one where no one's really from here.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
You happen to be a little bit of that unicorn right
.
I won't get into where we'refrom, but For me I like to just
talk about it from the otherside of it, and it's less of me
and my dating experiences andmore of like I think Austin
dating has offered me to realizeplaces where I had shortcomings
and places where I wasn't thebest.
Um, I think I have thistendency to want to keep people
(09:27):
in my life under any meansnecessary, just for the idea of
people are always growing like.
You're learning about peoplealways, and I like to give grace
the same way I want to be givengrace, but as that's going on,
sometimes you got to learn lessin the hard way and I think I
I've been humbled.
Honestly, I've been humbled bysome of those experiences where
people needed to remove me fromtheir life, and I've been lucky
(09:50):
enough to be in the city andexperience some awesome people,
but also people that aren't fromAustin, and Stay away from
holding those people in whenit's not good or healthy.
Yeah, and be humbled and acceptit because guys really don't
learn until they put their handin the fire.
Sometimes, right Right, gettingsome of that advice is kind of
(10:10):
like through life lessons andlearning experiences.
So I think I've had those andthose fair share of those have
been great and I've done myreflection and it's made me a
better person.
I'm happy.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Yeah, yeah, I mean, and that's that's what it was
for me, like as a woman, mypodcast was like a therapeutic
love kind of outlet, love, butbeing like a business
professional.
You know, I didn't want to havelike a call her daddy type
podcast where I was talkingabout my sex life and my
(10:42):
relationships and having sex ina car or whatever was going on,
you know.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Yeah, I mean caller, caller.
Daddy can get pretty explicit.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
Yeah, and so I was like, you know, I kind of took a
break from doing my podcast,yeah, because I was like how is
this going to affect myprofessional career, career,
yeah, with the things that I'mputting out?
So I took a pause.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
You and I kind of, you know, you left the company
that I was working at one ofthose life lessons, yeah and uh,
that pause like where you and IReally didn't speak for a while
.
I think that was almost a halfa year.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
I was really mad at you.
I know, I know, and rightfullyso.
I just I deserved it and I.
For everybody here.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
It's the.
It was the moment that helpedto create where we are today.
Though, right, like there's,there's a sense of beauty behind
it because After that sixmonths stint of us not
communicating, it ended upturning into you and I
reconnecting and rekindling inin the lobby.
Right, we were in a lobby.
I, cassandra, had not talked tome for half a year.
(11:50):
I was so excited to see you butso afraid to say hi.
Of course, you know I did Wentup to you and just really went
right in to just say hey, like Imiss you.
I miss my friend Um, you and I,we're not those friends that
have been sexual.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
There's no Weirdness here, there's nothing behind it,
and that's what Packs me up isbecause you always bring this up
.
Like anytime we've pitched ourpodcast so far, roger's always
like we're not fucking.
Though I'm like, I'm like, whyis he bringing this up?
Because, like it doesn't evenlike.
As a female, I just like don'teven think about these things.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
But as a male like I guess you're seeing, like how
people would perceive usperceptions, reality, right,
like there's a version of thatwhere people will take stuff and
run.
They can hear half the story orA version of it or just what
you look like, and I'd like tothink we both represent
ourselves well.
So if we're representingourselves well, hanging out all
(12:46):
the time, yeah, people are gonnaat some point have their own
assumed version of who we areand with us not.
I think it's so much better forthe idea of I tell you
everything, you tell meeverything, and Having a woman
in my court, but, moreimportantly, a woman that gives
me great counsel and corrects mewhen I'm wrong.
It's pretty fun.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
Honestly, I'm growing every day.
Yeah, and I love it.
I feel like we have like agreat like business, like
partnership relationship.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
You're my dog, I know .
Speaker 1 (13:16):
Uh, and just so, uh, any guys know I'm single, so we
are putting sandra on the market, so so funny, yeah, I mean, and
that was like kind of wherethis like idea sparked from us
doing this podcast together wasafter like we rekindled things
in the lobby.
We were like we're gonna callour podcast in the lobby,
(13:39):
because A lobby is where youhear a lot of different
conversations, we hear a lot ofpeople talking, and we were like
we want to hear people'sstories at a deeper level, you
know.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
I mean you accepted mine right, like you accepted
mine at a deeper level in thatlobby, and it was one where that
was like our moment and it waslike that light bulb went off
and we reconnected what day orso later and just thought to
really go on with this podcast,and I think that was the day you
accepted me to Quarterly beyour co-host.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Yes, yes, and like it's.
I'm tough, like I'm not like aneasy person to like get into,
like my inner circle, my innerworld.
And you know, maybe some ofthat comes from like hurt and
like being hurt by people in thepast, um, but when I decided to
do this with you, that was likea big thing, saying like Rogers
(14:30):
in my circle and we're gonna dothis together.
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
I think there's a version of like you've just been
somehow directly associatedwith my circle by knowing people
who have been in my circle orjust being around the right
moments, whether it be aco-worker, wonderlust, where we
first met in my book of businesswhen I was hunting you to
become a client, um you justalways have been associated with
the right circles around me andI again, I respect you for it.
(14:56):
Yeah, everyone respects you andI'm very happy to be associated
with you.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
That is so nice.
Yeah so sweet, yeah, and I mean, I feel like that's what makes
Austin so special.
Is like this.
It is like a small we wouldhave never met.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
Yeah, it wasn't for Austin.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
I know it's like a very special Small network
that's growing, yeah, but that'swhat I wanted our podcast to
kind of encompass.
Together, it's like I've livedhere since I was three years old
and I'm 29.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
Well, I'm at like six years now.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
Yeah, and that's what I'm saying, is like living here
so long I feel like I knoweverybody and I do feel like I'm
a connector, like I havefriends Brad, amy and Justin.
Justin, they went on Shark Tank, did beatbox beverages, had
mark Cuban invest in theirbusiness.
Um, I was right investor right,investor right, but they're out
(15:51):
of Austin.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
Yeah, I have friends, joe and Travis and Becca, who
are one of the couples that,like pitched their idea on Shark
Tank, or how'd they know, markCuban?
Speaker 1 (16:00):
So Brad, justin and Amy, they went on Shark Tank and
pitched it to mark Cuban Igotta go watch this episode.
Yeah, it's a really goodepisode.
Um so I know them.
Like you know my friends Joeand Travis, who are amazon
sellers they're a top hundredamazon seller.
Their company did a hundredmillion, I think, last year.
(16:22):
I mean even this podcast studiowe're sitting in.
My friends Jake and Ryan havebuilt out this business pouch
six studios.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
Yeah, it's great guys , those are really good they're
such good guys and I'm so proudof them.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
Like seeing the way that they've grown their
business and if anyone everneeds a studio, pouch six
studios they got a nice Batmanrobin thing going on.
They really do.
Yeah, and that's what I feellike is so nice.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
I'm not sure who's who.
I feel like they switch.
They do switch yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
I feel like having this network in Austin and just
seeing my friends and growing upwith them and seeing this
successful circle of people thatreally is in Austin.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Yeah, I mean, for me it's like I definitely have
similar Circles.
I mean, we've already discusseda version of that, but I mean I
feel as if I have the bug.
A lot of my friends are ondating shows and and one just
most recently one, theBachelorette Nate.
What's going on, man, miss, youShoot your boy.
Tex, I'm tired of reaching out.
(17:27):
You need to make this even andfair.
Man, and One of our guests forthis season, mike Johnson Uh,
great guy, totally close to mycircle.
We know a lot of the samepeople, but, more importantly, I
think you meet people thatyou're supposed to know for a
long time here in Austin.
I don't feel as if any of thefriendships that I've had have
(17:49):
been short-winded or even on aversion of fake or false.
You get to really meet somegenuine people here, because a
lot of people aren't from hereand they're looking for their
own version or sense ofcommunity.
So in the lobby, you're going tobe able to meet some other
great people that might inspireyou for an idea or two for your
own.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
I mean, I'm just with what you're talking about.
I'm even just thinking we'resitting like literally in the
collective gym here in Austinwithin the studio.
But just even the collective issuch a sphere of networking and
connection and community.
So it's such a cool place tokind of get to host our podcast
out of yeah, so I'm reallyexcited about that, are we?
Speaker 2 (18:29):
working on after this .
Speaker 1 (18:31):
I gotta get swole Already, yeah, but I mean that's
what this is all about.
And like people kept asking methey're like what am I going to
get out of this show?
What is the premise of in thelobby?
And what I want it to be iswhere people can really
authentically share theirstories, like no bullshit.
(18:51):
Like I want people to bevulnerable and really like tell
the story of who they are andhow they got their success, and
that's what's going to reallyinspire other people to achieve
their own success.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
I mean how many people have misconceptions about
them, have versions of a storybeing told how they reached
their level of success, or eventheir greatest hiccup or their
greatest pitfall in life?
Is their stories being toldabout them about from someone
else, right?
So it's going to be a greatplatform where people really do
get the ability to tell theirside of the story, separate of
(19:28):
their side of the story, letpeople know a version of them
that you just not going to beable to get exposure on.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
I love that you said that, like especially the
misconception piece.
Yeah, because I feel like,personally, there's so many
misconceptions that I hear aboutmyself all the time Join the
club.
I mean, it's difficult, becauseI feel like people look at me a
lot of times and they're like,oh, she's blonde and she's
pretty and she dresses well, soshe must come from money and I
(19:58):
have to do my own self up.
I do believe in myself, Ireally do.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
You have to believe in yourself, but you hear that
y'all, you both, starts with you.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
It does.
But like I feel like there's somany misconceptions about me
and it's like there's so muchmore than what people see than,
like, what meets the eye, LikeI've been through a lot of hard
things in my life and a lot ofstruggles that people would have
no idea about because I don'ttalk about them for sure.
You know, and I think sometimespeople who don't talk about
(20:38):
their struggles are some of thepeople who have had the hardest
struggles.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
And their story gets told by someone else.
I mean I feel like almost likea broken record because I'll
repeat that.
But there's versions of you.
Like, as I get to know you moreover the years, I mean I just
get more and more surprised.
I mean I'll bring it to onepoint.
I mean I know you're an Austinunicorn and have been here a
majority of your life, but maybeget into a little bit about
like where you're originallyfrom, because I think that's
(21:03):
also that's a part of your storythat I think the rest of the
world really should have accessto.
Yeah, it's kind of fun.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
That's because, like I do, consider myself like an
Austin unicorn.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
But I'm really I do.
I've been here six years.
I can't even get the version ofAustin Night Out.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
Yeah, I consider myself an Austin unicorn, but I
was born in Sydney, australia,and then I've lived here since I
was three, grew up like LakeTravis area, went to high school
out there.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
Who's from Sydney, mom dad neither, neither.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
Yeah, my there, no, like I really have.
No, I have no claim toAustralia other than me thinking
that I kind of look like MargotRobbie and maybe could take a
run, but just like cast calmdown.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
I will say this for the Margot Robbie comment.
She's the one that playedBarbie, right?
Speaker 1 (21:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
I mean, everything you have other than the shirt on
today is typically pink.
It's very fitting for you.
That is the case.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
I'm very big.
I mean, aren't your nails pinkright now they're red.
I'm very big into like branding, like even personal branding.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
So, like.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
Everything in my place is like pink Barbie
playboy with Margot Robbie, foryou See, there we go.
But no, I have no claim toAustralia.
Okay, other than my parentswere over there for three years.
My dad was over there for work,franchising chilies.
Yeah, like back in the 90s whenchilies was like cool.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
Is it weird I feel like you think of chilies and
you don't really probablyassociate it with Australia.
No, I always thought of likechilies is only here
domestically in the US.
That's a fun fact for me, right?
Like I may use that as my funfact in a board game or
something like.
That's just interesting to know.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
Yeah, I mean I think he was franchising them in Asia
to like Kuala Lumpur.
It's crazy because I meanchilies is very like American.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
I don't know what you're, what you go to dish at
chilies.
I got one.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
Are they just the queso?
Whatever that queso is.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
So is good, I don't really eat there.
Oh my god, my first date was atchilies and I'm I thought I was
doing something.
I really thought I was onto it.
I think I got like a ShirleyTemple for both of us.
You know had the big ballerbudget and I had to go with like
they had this hot plate wherethey just like grill everything
right there in front of you whatsteak shrimp?
(23:31):
And I was like, all right, youknow, maybe she she'll be
impressed, she's not.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
Have you seen the video clips of women saying that
, like, don't take me to thecheesecake factory for a date?
Speaker 2 (23:43):
Oh, I stopped with those.
I turned into a coffee date guyafter.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
But I feel like, I feel like chilies is on the same
playing field as like acheesecake factory date.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
I mean we, could we let's bring this back to dating
to ask you a question Where'syour date spot in Austin?
Yeah, and maybe you don't havea date spot.
I know I used to have a goodold, faithful date spot.
It's changed over the years but, yeah, I want to hear from you.
I wonder what it's like on the,on the woman's end, like do you
(24:12):
have?
Speaker 1 (24:13):
well, I shouldn't be planning dates, Okay that's fair
.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
Let's say, you do plan a date.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
Do you want to know something?
I'm supposed to go on a datetomorrow, okay, and the guy
texted me.
He was like what are youthinking?
Or something like that.
And I was like I have to besomewhere at seven, but I'll let
you take the lead.
You can plan whatever we'redoing.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
So he's getting, he's letting you plan.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
No, no, no no no, I told him.
He asked me what I wanted to doand I said I'll let you take
the lead.
Good, because I'm not I thinkthat's important.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
Is that for all dates , or is that only like first
date, second date, third date,fourth date, like do you have a
day where that stops, or is thatjust an always thing for you
and that's okay?
If it is yeah, it's yourautonomy, do whatever the hell
you want.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
But I like the man to lead.
Okay, yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
Love that.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
Yeah, I just want to be walking around like all
stupid and they're just like, ohno, this way, cass, and I'm
like, oh okay.
Speaker 2 (25:09):
It's funny because you're definitely not stupid.
No, I'm not.
You are, you're this maybe oneof those misconceptions you're
like a marketing guru, that'ssweet, you're very good at what
you do, but I think I think it'smore like turning off right,
like you get to have thatcomfortability factor that you
can turn off with somebody, yeah, and do you think that's kind
of like something that benefitsyou to like that person if you
(25:31):
can turn off with them?
Speaker 1 (25:32):
Or does that?
Speaker 2 (25:33):
take time.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
No, I want to be able to turn off with someone.
I saw this meme the other dayand it was like I want my man to
treat me like a pet and thatsounds so bad I'm gonna get it
for that.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
I don't think it's the name of the guy.
That's not what I mean.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
I think it's funny yeah because I do want to be
pampered like a pet First of all, like it's not even pampering,
it's like I feel like I'm in mymasculine so much like with work
.
Oh yeah that I just want a manthat for once, is like oh no,
I'm gonna make dinnerreservations here, be there at
seven, gonna pick you up.
I don't even think that'sasking a lot.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
I think that's the bare minimum.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:10):
I can also say I understand, because for you,
you're really doing a lot ofbalancing during the day and it
feels like the tech world isreally male dominated and seeing
you operate and move in certainrooms in the tech space, I feel
as if it could be tiringsometimes.
(26:30):
Just the way in which you haveto, like, really not only shoot
your shot but make every singleone.
And you do, but you make sureit's known when you do.
That's okay, that's okay, andthat's only because I've had
access to work with you.
Right, right, that's really mybias.
I'm speaking off of myexperience with you, but I
relate that to your answer and Icould see where you would just
(26:51):
want to get off of work and havesomebody else handle it.
Yeah, and that's the end of theday.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
Yeah, that's all I want.
I mean, you came to Austin fromNew York, yes.
Speaker 2 (27:01):
Yes, I did.
I came from New York.
I moved here for work at thetime.
It was a company that's likehas some ties to my family, one
where I thought it was gonna bethe place I forever worked at
and I retired, didn't work outthat way, ended up really
contemplated if I wanted to stayin Austin and I was in this
version of reflection.
(27:22):
Also, I was in a relationshipat the time and really didn't
know what was next and trying tofigure out am I gonna stay in
Austin or leave?
I swear to you cast, everysingle time I tried to leave
Austin, there was alwayssomething pulling me back,
whether it be a job offer, a newexperience, a way in which I
(27:42):
could graduate to a new level ofmental clarity or a better
sense of self or a better senseof mental health.
Like this city has just done alot for me.
It's been a stomping ground, ahealing ground, and it's also
really just expanded myperspective on a lot.
So I've been thankful to behere.
For what?
Six years now, and coming fromNew York, I feel like in New
(28:06):
York, everything's due yesterday, like there's nothing, to,
where you're kind of sit there,enjoy things for a little bit.
And plus, I like to talk.
I don't know how many peoplewere my biggest fan in New York.
I'm a talker, you know.
I wanna get to know people.
I wanna go into depth and justtry to hear a little bit more
about your story.
So Austin's been real well forme, but yes, originally from New
(28:27):
York.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
I mean, I think that's interesting because I
feel like you're talking alittle bit about the hustle and
bustle of New York culture.
Oh yeah, but I feel like Austin.
I feel like Austin likeAustin's getting there for sure.
Speaker 2 (28:40):
I mean, I'm comfortable here for a reason
let's put it that way, rightLike I still have that New York
hustle to me, Right, and I thinkAustin offers me a lot of that
comfortability.
But there's also some perks andsides of it that are very
different and not like New York.
So I'm thankful for that RightCause it allows me to be a
little bit more present and alsoexperience some things that I
(29:01):
don't know if I would haveexperience in New York.
Speaker 1 (29:03):
Truly, Were you when you were in New York, were you
dating at the time?
Cause I'd be curious to knowwhat the dating is like,
different between New York andAustin, because the one thing I
would think about New York isthere's so many people.
I would feel like people wouldbe non-committal there just
because of the populationnumbers.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
I think it's a good question and it's one where I'm
happy the platform is a placewhere I can kind of answer it.
I was in a seven yearrelationship when I was in New
York.
I was with somebody who wasjust really great right on time
for my life.
I really have no negativethings to say about NEX, Unless
(29:46):
a few, maybe a few but-.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
You would have some feelings you don't have to have.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
But yeah, I'll keep that to myself, right, I think
at the end of the day.
Everybody has their ownexperience and you want to
respect that.
But I had a seven year ex andmy first time really putting
myself out there in a datingmarket not like, oh, we broke up
for a week, two weeks, I'mgonna go talk to a friend and
I'm gonna date for a week andmeet up with somebody.
(30:10):
But no, seriously taking thelead on spearheading my
experience of dating, my firsttime on a dating app was in
Austin and I don't know if I'mreally gonna be the best person
to answer what dating was likein New York.
I will say that my friends'experiences were very much so
similar to how you explained it.
(30:31):
There's just a.
It's a fast moving revolvingdoor, if you want it to be, but
also at the same time, you canreally meet some great people
and do some of my friends.
They're married now.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
Yeah, I mean Austin probably has a similar problem.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
Oh yeah, I'd probably say so for sure.
Speaker 1 (30:50):
And we were talking about this.
Yeah, and I feel like there'sgoing to be times on this
podcast where we're like,conflicted with our answers on
things, because and that's whatI love about having a co-host
Cause I'm coming in with my ownfemale perspective and then we
got the male perspective overthere and I was talking to you
the other day about Peter Pansyndrome in Austin.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
And.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
I looked at you and I kind of started thinking about
myself and I was like, do I have?
Speaker 2 (31:19):
I thought you were going to say.
You looked at me and you'relike does he have Peter?
Speaker 1 (31:22):
Pan syndrome.
No, I wasn't going to tell youthat I started.
I was like I was like going tosay something negative about,
like you know, all the men havePeter Pan syndrome, but I was
like I'm 29 and I'm single.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
No, but I mean, what's?
What's the answer nowadays?
Right, like, I think whatyou're doing is you're really
putting your career first andyou've had I think you've you've
been in love before.
If I could answer for you, isthat correct?
Yeah, yeah, and you've had someamazing experiences, but you've
also been jaded by the bad ones, right, like we all get that
way and it's just a matter oflike, how fast do you want to be
(31:56):
?
Or like, how far do you want togo in that healing process?
And I think, from what I know,you've really been focused on
your career and it's paying off.
I mean, look at you here today,like there's not one person
that knows you in yourprofessional world that wouldn't
brag about you.
So it's, it's what you make it.
Speaker 1 (32:14):
That's super sweet.
I think the thing for me andlike why I've stayed single for
so long is it's like the personright and like I'll go on dates
with guys in Austin and they'lldo a lot of nice things, like
they'll take me to Uchi or todinner.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
Is Uchi the answer?
Speaker 1 (32:32):
No, this is what I don't understand.
Speaker 2 (32:34):
I feel like there's a big misconception around that.
Speaker 1 (32:36):
This is what I have a hard time with.
The men that I go on dates withis like I cannot be bought.
Speaker 2 (32:41):
I love that.
Like that is not that cast.
I cannot be bought me either.
Speaker 1 (32:47):
Yeah, and I think that they start realizing when
they're taking me on dates.
Yeah this is not gonna be aneasy process.
Yeah you know, and that leadsout a lot of people what If you
feel that someone is trying tobuy you?
Speaker 2 (33:03):
What is, like, your natural, natural reaction?
Is it to end the date or is itto like try to get them to snap
out of it and just Be themselvesand be a little bit more
authentic?
Speaker 1 (33:13):
I have a hard time with this.
Yeah, because I feel like, atthe end of the day, Shoot.
Speaker 2 (33:19):
I have a hard time cutting people out of my life
Like.
I know I've been the poison inother people's lives like I've
had to recognize that yeahreflect on it and get better at
this.
It's not easy to become better.
But at least you notice it,like you noticing that I think
that that's a game changer foryou.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
Well, I feel like, at the end of the day, like we're
manipulative People yeah rightor human beings are manipulative
, absolutely so.
It's like you know, there'sprobably something I want out of
this person and there'sprobably something they want out
of me.
Yeah, and I'm not saying that'sthe right way to look at it,
but there is kind of like avalue trade.
Speaker 2 (33:55):
It's reciprocity right.
Right like you want to sitAmong somebody and I feel like
we have that right, like there'sa version of reciprocity.
I know that I can exist in aconversation with you and you're
gonna tell me something orexpose me to something that I
Haven't been exposed to or don'tknow, or maybe I'm not
considering in a certain way andI think we always want that in
our relationships as wellthere's probably just some more
(34:17):
silos of dynamic that it touchesupon, but yeah, I think that
that that can be true there.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
Yeah, and I mean I can.
I can tell when someone'strying to buy me how.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
What's the first move ?
Speaker 1 (34:31):
Take me to a nice restaurant.
This just happened to me I hada guy take me to a nice
restaurant.
Speaker 2 (34:36):
I want to know if my restaurant when I would go on
dates was like I definitely wasnot this guy took me to a
restaurant.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
He was talking to me and he was talking about like
bags that he had bought forwomen, like purses, like what's
your?
He's asking me what my favoritedesigner brand was and in my
eyes I this is just mepersonally I'm listening and
thinking this man is trying toPick up from me what brands I
like, thinking he can buy me abag that I'll sleep with him,
(35:08):
which is absolutely not the case.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
I'd hope you take the bag though.
Speaker 1 (35:12):
No, there's.
There's women that are veryinterested in that they really
are, and sometimes I wish I was.
Yeah, because I'm like go getyour bag, but I want something
deep.
I want something meaningful,yeah, and About a piece of
fabric, is not it?
Well?
Speaker 2 (35:30):
I think the scarier thing for me is that people
believe that that's it right,like people will Host it or
boast and brag about gettingsomebody something to say
they're deserving of morebecause of that.
Like no, there's always anexchange of things and it's just
it works out that way.
It shouldn't be your be all endall for any experience right.
Speaker 1 (35:52):
Yeah, yeah, I Don't know.
It's tough, like, how is datingbeen for you and your
experiences in Austin?
Speaker 2 (35:59):
I feel like I touched on it the way I want to, okay.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
I'll leave you alone, yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:04):
I think for me it's just, it's been a little bit
different, but I will say I'velearned a lot, honestly, yeah,
and it's probably probably backto that other point I made where
I've had to Realize that I'vebeen the poison for some other
people before, right, and I havea little bit of a toxic trait
(36:25):
where I I think it's it comefrom a good place, right.
Like I believe in people, Ibelieve that people are always
growing to become their bestversion of themselves.
I believe that you should giveeverybody grace, like you don't
know what somebody deals with intheir day or what's going on,
and that should be live and well.
But there should also be aversion of boundaries in that,
(36:45):
and I don't know how much I'vealways existed in that and I
would hold people on for toolong so to know that.
And then other people had theauthority and, honestly, the the
ability to cut me out when itwas probably rightfully so, not
even probably it was rightfullyso.
I've really had to sit with thatand reflect and become a better
(37:08):
person and I, honestly, I'malways growing and I'm okay with
it.
So, just always in growth mode,that's all.
Yeah, yeah, that's my, that'smy, my answer on dating.
Yeah, but I will say I wouldprobably want to go into one
thing about dating and it's theversion of me picking out my
restaurant.
I always pick up one restaurantwhere I want to make sure I
(37:31):
kind of get that Answer fromeverybody that knows me well
enough there at the restaurantif, if I look like I'm
comfortable.
Speaker 1 (37:38):
Do you have a spot where, like I did, they wouldn't
like?
The staff would know you it wasWu Chao.
Speaker 2 (37:44):
We found Austin.
It just offered me this versionof a New York vibe when I was
in there, and it was kind ofalso one of the places I first
went to when I got here.
But they would just always giveme that that head nod or
something if I look like I wasuncomfortable and your feelings
and emotions can lie to you whenyou're in front of someone
right, and they kind of wouldlook out for me.
(38:05):
But I have since changed.
I no longer do that and I'mmore of a coffee day guy if I
ever did need to go on a date.
But I don't need to go on datesanymore, so that's all that's
awesome.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:18):
Yeah, I mean, you know, I think it's tough, like
with the dating situation.
Speaker 2 (38:25):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:26):
You know how standard is, you know, but like it's a
part of our history too, right.
Speaker 2 (38:30):
Yeah, this episode is so people can get to know more
about us, and what better way toget to know somebody who's in
this, this highlight of theirlife that's it's a highlight
reel, right like you get to knowwho somebody is and how they've
experienced life, and Maybeeven like what their exposure
has been here and also certainpeople like certain things.
(38:51):
Right, I feel as if my datingexperience here has led me to
different sides of the city,like one one side was a little
bit more active.
The other side was a little bitmore party-esque.
It's it's us like people shouldget to know about our dating.
Speaker 1 (39:07):
Yeah, I mean, I think it's interesting what you said
about Wu Chao and, like thestaff knowing from your
expressions, I like now want it.
But like I mean, when you'reHappy with someone you're on a
date with, it's so evident, likeat least for me.
Like I know I look like a giddylittle schoolgirl and there's
(39:28):
so many times I'll like go ondates, yeah, and I'll just like
not even think about what I'mgoing to wear.
And those are the times I knowI'm not that interested, because
if it's anyone I really likethere's a lot of thought going
into that outfit.
And I know you like yourfashion yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:48):
I will say everybody will get some exposure to my
favorite outfits.
Speaker 1 (39:52):
Yeah, in each season.
Speaker 2 (39:53):
You have a lot of clothes.
I'm a clothes guy, yeah well,sneakers to.
I like the most big sneaker guy, my sister.
She's got me obsessed withsneakers.
I think that's like a New Yorker, like New Yorkers love sneakers
my sister and brother Iprobably both of them, honestly,
my older brother or the sister.
They just always had great shoeselection and you know, I was
(40:16):
the younger brother alwaystrying to wear their stuff and
they would help me out.
My sister she was alwaysfashionable with sneakers, so
there's a time where I was thesame size as her.
For sure I would wear her stuff, but I'm not a heel guy.
Now where are my sisters?
Heels?
Speaker 1 (40:32):
Yeah, yeah, that's funny.
Speaker 2 (40:34):
Yeah, I mean the other thing I would want to say
is what do you feel has beenkind of like your greatest
lesson?
Maybe over the most recent timesince COVID, because I think a
lot of friendships have changed,a lot of people have Picked up
new hobbies or whatever may haveit.
Do you think you've picked up anew hobby or something that has
been Thrilling Like?
Speaker 1 (40:58):
I feel like the last few years have been some of the
loneliest, yeah, years of mylife and it's like the biggest
gift that I've ever had, becauseI've never had to go so deeply
Internally by myself and reallyface myself and I just, yeah, I
feel like a lot of people don'tdo that or don't take the time
(41:21):
to heal from things.
Yeah, and I've spent so muchtime getting up early like I
would go on walks at 4 amListening to affirmation, like I
literally look at myself in themirror and like tell myself
things, write the little stickynotes, do the vision boards, all
of the woo-woo things.
Speaker 2 (41:39):
Yeah but, I mean, I'm not just yesing you, I do the
same, like there's a version ofme that believes in that.
So it's like I really dorespect you.
Yeah, applause for you, forsure.
Speaker 1 (41:50):
Yeah, so I feel like out of being lonely, I grew into
this version of myself thatdoesn't need anyone, so the
people that I do have in my lifeare very specifically Chosen
for who they are.
Speaker 2 (42:06):
Yeah, it's like the first round draft picks over
there.
Speaker 1 (42:09):
Yeah, the team are out, goodbye.
Speaker 2 (42:13):
I love it.
I love it.
I will say I feel as if I havesome of the same experience.
For sure, I've had to do a lotof that.
That interpersonal work andsome of that stuff has really
gone back on the idea of like,what does community mean to me?
And like, who do I want to bearound me?
Are they around me for theright reasons?
Am I around them for the rightreasons?
And who do I want to be?
And and how am I gonna getthere in the most expeditious
(42:37):
way?
So I there's definitely somesimilarities there.
I'm just happy that we canalign and both be a part of each
other's community.
I'll take being a first-rounddraft pick any day.
Speaker 1 (42:46):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (42:47):
I appreciate you and I you know, for everybody else
that's tuning in, we're gonnahave a lot of special guests
here and An opportunity to getto know more about us in each
and every episode.
But come on back to the lobby.
It's going down.
Speaker 1 (43:06):
Yeah, I'm so excited and we're gonna have like an
episode released every week.
Yes, every day, on Tuesdaywe're gonna have awesome guests
and then we're gonna like oursocial stuff we got.
We want you guys to follow.
Speaker 2 (43:19):
Yeah, tick tock Instagram.
We're debating Twitter.
We'll see, or X.
Speaker 1 (43:29):
Yeah, you can find us on Instagram and tick tock yeah
at in the lobby pod Yep, andthen we'll be streaming on
Spotify, apple podcasts and alot of the other ones, so
YouTube as well.
Youtube.
So I got a lot of work to do,roger, you know.
Speaker 2 (43:47):
It's tough to be us.
Speaker 1 (43:49):
Yeah, I'm so excited, but, um, I'm gonna say
something.
I'm cutting all this going down.
No, I mean, I think, if youwant to say something though,
you should say like come back tothe lobby because you know it's
going down.
You say that.
I'm gonna say it's going down,okay come back to the lobby.
It's going down, going down soexcited and I'm so thankful for
(44:14):
you and Season one is just gonnabe so much fun and we're gonna
get to tell so many people'sstories and I'm so excited for
sure I'm pumped.
Speaker 2 (44:23):
Let's get after.
I'll see you, girl.
Speaker 1 (44:27):
I'm gonna turn this off.
Okay, you ready to do this?
I'm ready, I'm excited, I'm sonervous.
Okay, welcome to In the Lobbypodcast.
I'm so pumped to be sittinghere doing this with you.
I'm Cass this is Roger overhere so excited that we're doing
(00:21):
this podcast together.
Are you excited?
Speaker 2 (00:25):
I think the biggest thing is that it's been a long
time coming.
I'm happy to have a stage and aplatform where we get to enjoy
some of the conversations wehave in private and put it on a
camera.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
For sure.
I feel like I've already knownyou for a long time.
How many?
Speaker 2 (00:40):
years now.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Like two or three years.
That's crazy.
And we met here in Austin atWanderlust Wine Company.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
I feel like COVID just makes me forget how much
time has gone by.
I mean, what three years?
And before that we wereenjoying ourselves grabbing wine
at Wanderlust.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Yeah, I mean, that was like three years ago and I
just have to give a huge shoutout to Sammy who runs Wanderlust
.
Oh, yeah great guy.
Yeah, like the things thatthey're doing there with their
tap wine is so cool have youbeen to the second location.
I have yeah, I have not yet.
I mean the Wine Wednesday eventthat he was having for a while
(01:24):
there.
It was such a good networkingevent and that's where I met you
and that's where we kind ofbecame friends.
I was prospecting.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
I was at work, off of work, like you were in my book
of business at a CRM company Iwas at and I was trying to get
you to become a client.
You've got to talk louder.
I was trying to get you tobecome a client.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Yeah, hold on.
Sorry, I'm going to breathethere for a second, but you've
got to talk louder, really, okay.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Maybe I should move it closer.
Oh, interesting.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
It's like you're no, it's fine.
Okay, yeah, we'll just jumpback into it.
Yeah, so we are at Wanderlustand you were trying to prospect
me as a client for a CRM companythat you were working for.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
I was hunting when I was off of work?
Yes, yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
So I said, roger, if you're going to try and have me
use your CRM that you weretrying to sell me, then you're
going to have to buy me a drinkand I use that tap to my
advantage.
Yeah, the wine tap for sure,and I don't even think you were
drinking wine, you were drinkinglike the Margarita mix
Margarita.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Big tequila guy over here.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Yeah, do you not drink wine?
Speaker 2 (02:42):
I'm a red wine guy, but I just have a hard time to
chug it or enjoy it any otherway than over some good music at
home watching a movie.
If I'm chugging red wine, wehave a problem.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
Yeah, and I mean I know that even when I met you at
Wanderlust you were liketalking to another chick kind of
and I just came up in there.
I was like you know what thisguy's trying to sell to me, so I
know I can get a free drink outof him.
Absolutely.
And sure enough.
You were a gentleman and youbought me a drink because I was
a little bit pushy.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Yeah, I think that was one of my friends while I
was there.
But either way, you took theauthority from that conversation
and you definitely got yourselfa drink, for sure, yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
So I mean we kind of became friends there, yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
I mean, I met somebody that I definitely
respected the way in which youengaged in conversation and I
definitely was for sure tryingto get you to become a client
while I was at the other company.
But I think the more importantthing was I agreed to respect
you.
I think you have a presence toyou, you're not afraid of
anybody and you don't reallytake any shit.
So I mean, I mean that'ssomebody.
(03:49):
I want my company to be honestwith you.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
It was funny because, like we hung out then and then
we kind of stopped hanging outfor a little bit.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
And then you needed a job at one point.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
I sure did.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
And I did my best.
I helped you get a job.
We kind of became coworkers.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
I feel like you set me up with a conversation with
someone you knew I would getalong with and it just hit off.
I mean huge respects to thatguy.
I have a lot of respect for himand for him to give me the
opportunity, but I don't want totalk about it.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Yeah, I mean, I hear you cutting it Right.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
I think it was just more you network appropriately
and you connect your connector.
I think that's another thingwhy I definitely enjoy you in my
company and my community ofpeople, your connector and so am
I.
We know a lot of people andit's always nice to connect
people you know will get along,and I think we both kind of have
that answer sometimes.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
No, I love that you're saying that, because I
feel like I'm such a connector.
And it cracks me up, though,because I feel like all peace
people I know together and thenthey'll make so much money from
like the connections I've likethrown their way.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
What about me?
Speaker 1 (04:58):
I'm really leaving money on the table, like I
should be charging referral fees.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
I feel like you're just doing it for the right
reasons.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
I am Otherwise it becomes a manipulation.
Oh, for sure, yeah, but thenyou know our podcast, the
premise of it, yeah, the name.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Well, I think we got to give some more history right.
Like you, you know, I did askto be on your podcast when it
was just you.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
You had your own show going and I told you, I really
wanted to be a part and you toldme a flat out hell, no.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
I forgot about that because when we were coworkers
at the tech company, we wereworking for it together.
I think this was like two,three years ago.
No, it was like two years ago.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Two years ago now.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
Yeah, I was developing my own podcast and
you asked me.
When I told you that I wasdoing this, you were like can I
be a co-host?
And I was literally like fuck,no.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
Oh, I was super excited.
I thought I thought I had theanswer.
Yeah, no, you were so ready togo.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
I thought it was sweet that you asked me.
But I was like, look, this is aone woman show and I'm going to
make this happen, and at thetime I was putting so much like
equity and sweat and blood andtears sweat equity into this
little podcast that I wasbuilding.
You know, like I was watchingall of these YouTube videos
about how to do a podcast.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
But was this like something you always knew you
wanted to do?
Because I feel like podcastingis something that's kind of like
hitting off.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Yeah, really recently .
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Yeah, but is this more of like a passion project,
or you just were that kid, thatkind of like, had a microphone
in front of you when you wereyounger?
Speaker 1 (06:31):
No, that's a good question, but I first started
trying to do a podcast in 2019actually and I recorded a clip
like a little podcast intro andI posted it and I got such like
negative feedback from myfriends.
They were really mean.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
Was this on YouTube, or what?
Speaker 1 (06:52):
It was, I think it was hosted on like Spotify, like
I was doing it through ahosting platform, and it really
affected me getting negativefeedback on something that I was
so excited about, so then Ijust kind of scrapped it, which
is, you know, not the best thingto do.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
No, I don't think it's the worst thing, yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Yeah, but then I feel like what happened for me and
why I really got re-involved inthe podcasting space is I talk,
I swear, swear.
This is the last time I'mtalking about this, but I went
through a really, really badbreakup, like it literally broke
me as a person and we've gotthem all.
(07:34):
Yeah, it took me to the lowestlows I've ever been in my entire
life and it still, like, deeplyaffects me to this day, and so
I was trying to pull a TaylorSwift, olivia Rodrigo situation
where I was like and thennegative energy is something
positive.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
I feel like when you're sad, that's when, like,
some of the best songs come out,that's when artists make some
of their best music.
You know, and I was like I canutilize this sadness to express
myself in a creative way.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
Do you feel like you talked about your ex a lot when
you first started podcasting, orthat was just purely your gas
to your engine?
Speaker 1 (08:18):
So yes.
I know um, the first episode Idid on that podcast was a
situation ship, and it was thefirst Situation ship after my ex
, and so it was me telling thatstory.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
I don't know this.
Did you like this guy?
What's going on?
Speaker 1 (08:38):
Yeah, but he was weird, okay, and so I know some
weird ones out there.
There's some weird ones.
So I feel like it was metalking a lot about
Relationships and dating andthings of that sort, you know.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
Yeah, I think For me it's a little different, right,
I definitely have experiencedexes and breakups and dating.
I think dating in Austin is awhole different animal.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
It's one where no one's really from here.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
You happen to be a little bit of that unicorn right
.
I won't get into where we'refrom, but For me I like to just
talk about it from the otherside of it, and it's less of me
and my dating experiences andmore of like I think Austin
dating has offered me to realizeplaces where I had shortcomings
and places where I wasn't thebest.
Um, I think I have thistendency to want to keep people
(09:27):
in my life under any meansnecessary, just for the idea of
people are always growing like.
You're learning about peoplealways, and I like to give grace
the same way I want to be givengrace, but as that's going on,
sometimes you got to learn lessin the hard way and I think I
I've been humbled.
Honestly, I've been humbled bysome of those experiences where
people needed to remove me fromtheir life, and I've been lucky
(09:50):
enough to be in the city andexperience some awesome people,
but also people that aren't fromAustin, and Stay away from
holding those people in whenit's not good or healthy.
Yeah, and be humbled and acceptit because guys really don't
learn until they put their handin the fire.
Sometimes, right Right, gettingsome of that advice is kind of
(10:10):
like through life lessons andlearning experiences.
So I think I've had those andthose fair share of those have
been great and I've done myreflection and it's made me a
better person.
I'm happy.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Yeah, yeah, I mean, and that's that's what it was
for me, like as a woman, mypodcast was like a therapeutic
love kind of outlet, love, butbeing like a business
professional.
You know, I didn't want to havelike a call her daddy type
podcast where I was talkingabout my sex life and my
(10:42):
relationships and having sex ina car or whatever was going on,
you know.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Yeah, I mean caller, caller.
Daddy can get pretty explicit.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
Yeah, and so I was like, you know, I kind of took a
break from doing my podcast,yeah, because I was like how is
this going to affect myprofessional career, career,
yeah, with the things that I'mputting out?
So I took a pause.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
You and I kind of, you know, you left the company
that I was working at one ofthose life lessons, yeah and uh,
that pause like where you and IReally didn't speak for a while
.
I think that was almost a halfa year.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
I was really mad at you.
I know, I know, and rightfullyso.
I just I deserved it and I.
For everybody here.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
It's the.
It was the moment that helpedto create where we are today.
Though, right, like there's,there's a sense of beauty behind
it because After that sixmonths stint of us not
communicating, it ended upturning into you and I
reconnecting and rekindling inin the lobby.
Right, we were in a lobby.
I, cassandra, had not talked tome for half a year.
(11:50):
I was so excited to see you butso afraid to say hi.
Of course, you know I did Wentup to you and just really went
right in to just say hey, like Imiss you.
I miss my friend Um, you and I,we're not those friends that
have been sexual.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
There's no Weirdness here, there's nothing behind it,
and that's what Packs me up isbecause you always bring this up
.
Like anytime we've pitched ourpodcast so far, roger's always
like we're not fucking.
Though I'm like, I'm like, whyis he bringing this up?
Because, like it doesn't evenlike.
As a female, I just like don'teven think about these things.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
But as a male like I guess you're seeing, like how
people would perceive usperceptions, reality, right,
like there's a version of thatwhere people will take stuff and
run.
They can hear half the story orA version of it or just what
you look like, and I'd like tothink we both represent
ourselves well.
So if we're representingourselves well, hanging out all
(12:46):
the time, yeah, people are gonnaat some point have their own
assumed version of who we areand with us not.
I think it's so much better forthe idea of I tell you
everything, you tell meeverything, and Having a woman
in my court, but, moreimportantly, a woman that gives
me great counsel and corrects mewhen I'm wrong.
It's pretty fun.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
Honestly, I'm growing every day.
Yeah, and I love it.
I feel like we have like agreat like business, like
partnership relationship.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
You're my dog, I know .
Speaker 1 (13:16):
Uh, and just so, uh, any guys know I'm single, so we
are putting sandra on the market, so so funny, yeah, I mean, and
that was like kind of wherethis like idea sparked from us
doing this podcast together wasafter like we rekindled things
in the lobby.
We were like we're gonna callour podcast in the lobby,
(13:39):
because A lobby is where youhear a lot of different
conversations, we hear a lot ofpeople talking, and we were like
we want to hear people'sstories at a deeper level, you
know.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
I mean you accepted mine right, like you accepted
mine at a deeper level in thatlobby, and it was one where that
was like our moment and it waslike that light bulb went off
and we reconnected what day orso later and just thought to
really go on with this podcast,and I think that was the day you
accepted me to Quarterly beyour co-host.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Yes, yes, and like it's.
I'm tough, like I'm not like aneasy person to like get into,
like my inner circle, my innerworld.
And you know, maybe some ofthat comes from like hurt and
like being hurt by people in thepast, um, but when I decided to
do this with you, that was likea big thing, saying like Rogers
(14:30):
in my circle and we're gonna dothis together.
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
I think there's a version of like you've just been
somehow directly associatedwith my circle by knowing people
who have been in my circle orjust being around the right
moments, whether it be aco-worker, wonderlust, where we
first met in my book of businesswhen I was hunting you to
become a client, um you justalways have been associated with
the right circles around me andI again, I respect you for it.
(14:56):
Yeah, everyone respects you andI'm very happy to be associated
with you.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
That is so nice.
Yeah so sweet, yeah, and I mean, I feel like that's what makes
Austin so special.
Is like this.
It is like a small we wouldhave never met.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
Yeah, it wasn't for Austin.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
I know it's like a very special Small network
that's growing, yeah, but that'swhat I wanted our podcast to
kind of encompass.
Together, it's like I've livedhere since I was three years old
and I'm 29.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
Well, I'm at like six years now.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
Yeah, and that's what I'm saying, is like living here
so long I feel like I knoweverybody and I do feel like I'm
a connector, like I havefriends Brad, amy and Justin.
Justin, they went on Shark Tank, did beatbox beverages, had
mark Cuban invest in theirbusiness.
Um, I was right investor right,investor right, but they're out
(15:51):
of Austin.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
Yeah, I have friends, joe and Travis and Becca, who
are one of the couples that,like pitched their idea on Shark
Tank, or how'd they know, markCuban?
Speaker 1 (16:00):
So Brad, justin and Amy, they went on Shark Tank and
pitched it to mark Cuban Igotta go watch this episode.
Yeah, it's a really goodepisode.
Um so I know them.
Like you know my friends Joeand Travis, who are amazon
sellers they're a top hundredamazon seller.
Their company did a hundredmillion, I think, last year.
(16:22):
I mean even this podcast studiowe're sitting in.
My friends Jake and Ryan havebuilt out this business pouch
six studios.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
Yeah, it's great guys , those are really good they're
such good guys and I'm so proudof them.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
Like seeing the way that they've grown their
business and if anyone everneeds a studio, pouch six
studios they got a nice Batmanrobin thing going on.
They really do.
Yeah, and that's what I feellike is so nice.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
I'm not sure who's who.
I feel like they switch.
They do switch yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
I feel like having this network in Austin and just
seeing my friends and growing upwith them and seeing this
successful circle of people thatreally is in Austin.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Yeah, I mean, for me it's like I definitely have
similar Circles.
I mean, we've already discusseda version of that, but I mean I
feel as if I have the bug.
A lot of my friends are ondating shows and and one just
most recently one, theBachelorette Nate.
What's going on, man, miss, youShoot your boy.
Tex, I'm tired of reaching out.
(17:27):
You need to make this even andfair.
Man, and One of our guests forthis season, mike Johnson Uh,
great guy, totally close to mycircle.
We know a lot of the samepeople, but, more importantly, I
think you meet people thatyou're supposed to know for a
long time here in Austin.
I don't feel as if any of thefriendships that I've had have
(17:49):
been short-winded or even on aversion of fake or false.
You get to really meet somegenuine people here, because a
lot of people aren't from hereand they're looking for their
own version or sense ofcommunity.
So in the lobby, you're going tobe able to meet some other
great people that might inspireyou for an idea or two for your
own.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
I mean, I'm just with what you're talking about.
I'm even just thinking we'resitting like literally in the
collective gym here in Austinwithin the studio.
But just even the collective issuch a sphere of networking and
connection and community.
So it's such a cool place tokind of get to host our podcast
out of yeah, so I'm reallyexcited about that, are we?
Speaker 2 (18:29):
working on after this .
Speaker 1 (18:31):
I gotta get swole Already, yeah, but I mean that's
what this is all about.
And like people kept asking methey're like what am I going to
get out of this show?
What is the premise of in thelobby?
And what I want it to be iswhere people can really
authentically share theirstories, like no bullshit.
(18:51):
Like I want people to bevulnerable and really like tell
the story of who they are andhow they got their success, and
that's what's going to reallyinspire other people to achieve
their own success.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
I mean how many people have misconceptions about
them, have versions of a storybeing told how they reached
their level of success, or eventheir greatest hiccup or their
greatest pitfall in life?
Is their stories being toldabout them about from someone
else, right?
So it's going to be a greatplatform where people really do
get the ability to tell theirside of the story, separate of
(19:28):
their side of the story, letpeople know a version of them
that you just not going to beable to get exposure on.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
I love that you said that, like especially the
misconception piece.
Yeah, because I feel like,personally, there's so many
misconceptions that I hear aboutmyself all the time Join the
club.
I mean, it's difficult, becauseI feel like people look at me a
lot of times and they're like,oh, she's blonde and she's
pretty and she dresses well, soshe must come from money and I
(19:58):
have to do my own self up.
I do believe in myself, Ireally do.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
You have to believe in yourself, but you hear that
y'all, you both, starts with you.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
It does.
But like I feel like there's somany misconceptions about me
and it's like there's so muchmore than what people see than,
like, what meets the eye, LikeI've been through a lot of hard
things in my life and a lot ofstruggles that people would have
no idea about because I don'ttalk about them for sure.
You know, and I think sometimespeople who don't talk about
(20:38):
their struggles are some of thepeople who have had the hardest
struggles.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
And their story gets told by someone else.
I mean I feel like almost likea broken record because I'll
repeat that.
But there's versions of you.
Like, as I get to know you moreover the years, I mean I just
get more and more surprised.
I mean I'll bring it to onepoint.
I mean I know you're an Austinunicorn and have been here a
majority of your life, but maybeget into a little bit about
like where you're originallyfrom, because I think that's
(21:03):
also that's a part of your storythat I think the rest of the
world really should have accessto.
Yeah, it's kind of fun.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
That's because, like I do, consider myself like an
Austin unicorn.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
But I'm really I do.
I've been here six years.
I can't even get the version ofAustin Night Out.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
Yeah, I consider myself an Austin unicorn, but I
was born in Sydney, australia,and then I've lived here since I
was three, grew up like LakeTravis area, went to high school
out there.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
Who's from Sydney, mom dad neither, neither.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
Yeah, my there, no, like I really have.
No, I have no claim toAustralia other than me thinking
that I kind of look like MargotRobbie and maybe could take a
run, but just like cast calmdown.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
I will say this for the Margot Robbie comment.
She's the one that playedBarbie, right?
Speaker 1 (21:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
I mean, everything you have other than the shirt on
today is typically pink.
It's very fitting for you.
That is the case.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
I'm very big.
I mean, aren't your nails pinkright now they're red.
I'm very big into like branding, like even personal branding.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
So, like.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
Everything in my place is like pink Barbie
playboy with Margot Robbie, foryou See, there we go.
But no, I have no claim toAustralia.
Okay, other than my parentswere over there for three years.
My dad was over there for work,franchising chilies.
Yeah, like back in the 90s whenchilies was like cool.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
Is it weird I feel like you think of chilies and
you don't really probablyassociate it with Australia.
No, I always thought of likechilies is only here
domestically in the US.
That's a fun fact for me, right?
Like I may use that as my funfact in a board game or
something like.
That's just interesting to know.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
Yeah, I mean I think he was franchising them in Asia
to like Kuala Lumpur.
It's crazy because I meanchilies is very like American.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
I don't know what you're, what you go to dish at
chilies.
I got one.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
Are they just the queso?
Whatever that queso is.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
So is good, I don't really eat there.
Oh my god, my first date was atchilies and I'm I thought I was
doing something.
I really thought I was onto it.
I think I got like a ShirleyTemple for both of us.
You know had the big ballerbudget and I had to go with like
they had this hot plate wherethey just like grill everything
right there in front of you whatsteak shrimp?
(23:31):
And I was like, all right, youknow, maybe she she'll be
impressed, she's not.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
Have you seen the video clips of women saying that
, like, don't take me to thecheesecake factory for a date?
Speaker 2 (23:43):
Oh, I stopped with those.
I turned into a coffee date guyafter.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
But I feel like, I feel like chilies is on the same
playing field as like acheesecake factory date.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
I mean we, could we let's bring this back to dating
to ask you a question Where'syour date spot in Austin?
Yeah, and maybe you don't havea date spot.
I know I used to have a goodold, faithful date spot.
It's changed over the years but, yeah, I want to hear from you.
I wonder what it's like on the,on the woman's end, like do you
(24:12):
have?
Speaker 1 (24:13):
well, I shouldn't be planning dates, Okay that's fair
.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
Let's say, you do plan a date.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
Do you want to know something?
I'm supposed to go on a datetomorrow, okay, and the guy
texted me.
He was like what are youthinking?
Or something like that.
And I was like I have to besomewhere at seven, but I'll let
you take the lead.
You can plan whatever we'redoing.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
So he's getting, he's letting you plan.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
No, no, no no no, I told him.
He asked me what I wanted to doand I said I'll let you take
the lead.
Good, because I'm not I thinkthat's important.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
Is that for all dates , or is that only like first
date, second date, third date,fourth date, like do you have a
day where that stops, or is thatjust an always thing for you
and that's okay?
If it is yeah, it's yourautonomy, do whatever the hell
you want.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
But I like the man to lead.
Okay, yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
Love that.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
Yeah, I just want to be walking around like all
stupid and they're just like, ohno, this way, cass, and I'm
like, oh okay.
Speaker 2 (25:09):
It's funny because you're definitely not stupid.
No, I'm not.
You are, you're this maybe oneof those misconceptions you're
like a marketing guru, that'ssweet, you're very good at what
you do, but I think I think it'smore like turning off right,
like you get to have thatcomfortability factor that you
can turn off with somebody, yeah, and do you think that's kind
of like something that benefitsyou to like that person if you
(25:31):
can turn off with them?
Speaker 1 (25:32):
Or does that?
Speaker 2 (25:33):
take time.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
No, I want to be able to turn off with someone.
I saw this meme the other dayand it was like I want my man to
treat me like a pet and thatsounds so bad I'm gonna get it
for that.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
I don't think it's the name of the guy.
That's not what I mean.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
I think it's funny yeah because I do want to be
pampered like a pet First of all, like it's not even pampering,
it's like I feel like I'm in mymasculine so much like with work
.
Oh yeah that I just want a manthat for once, is like oh no,
I'm gonna make dinnerreservations here, be there at
seven, gonna pick you up.
I don't even think that'sasking a lot.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
I think that's the bare minimum.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:10):
I can also say I understand, because for you,
you're really doing a lot ofbalancing during the day and it
feels like the tech world isreally male dominated and seeing
you operate and move in certainrooms in the tech space, I feel
as if it could be tiringsometimes.
(26:30):
Just the way in which you haveto, like, really not only shoot
your shot but make every singleone.
And you do, but you make sureit's known when you do.
That's okay, that's okay, andthat's only because I've had
access to work with you.
Right, right, that's really mybias.
I'm speaking off of myexperience with you, but I
relate that to your answer and Icould see where you would just
(26:51):
want to get off of work and havesomebody else handle it.
Yeah, and that's the end of theday.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
Yeah, that's all I want.
I mean, you came to Austin fromNew York, yes.
Speaker 2 (27:01):
Yes, I did.
I came from New York.
I moved here for work at thetime.
It was a company that's likehas some ties to my family, one
where I thought it was gonna bethe place I forever worked at
and I retired, didn't work outthat way, ended up really
contemplated if I wanted to stayin Austin and I was in this
version of reflection.
(27:22):
Also, I was in a relationshipat the time and really didn't
know what was next and trying tofigure out am I gonna stay in
Austin or leave?
I swear to you cast, everysingle time I tried to leave
Austin, there was alwayssomething pulling me back,
whether it be a job offer, a newexperience, a way in which I
(27:42):
could graduate to a new level ofmental clarity or a better
sense of self or a better senseof mental health.
Like this city has just done alot for me.
It's been a stomping ground, ahealing ground, and it's also
really just expanded myperspective on a lot.
So I've been thankful to behere.
For what?
Six years now, and coming fromNew York, I feel like in New
(28:06):
York, everything's due yesterday, like there's nothing, to,
where you're kind of sit there,enjoy things for a little bit.
And plus, I like to talk.
I don't know how many peoplewere my biggest fan in New York.
I'm a talker, you know.
I wanna get to know people.
I wanna go into depth and justtry to hear a little bit more
about your story.
So Austin's been real well forme, but yes, originally from New
(28:27):
York.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
I mean, I think that's interesting because I
feel like you're talking alittle bit about the hustle and
bustle of New York culture.
Oh yeah, but I feel like Austin.
I feel like Austin likeAustin's getting there for sure.
Speaker 2 (28:40):
I mean, I'm comfortable here for a reason
let's put it that way, rightLike I still have that New York
hustle to me, Right, and I thinkAustin offers me a lot of that
comfortability.
But there's also some perks andsides of it that are very
different and not like New York.
So I'm thankful for that RightCause it allows me to be a
little bit more present and alsoexperience some things that I
(29:01):
don't know if I would haveexperience in New York.
Speaker 1 (29:03):
Truly, Were you when you were in New York, were you
dating at the time?
Cause I'd be curious to knowwhat the dating is like,
different between New York andAustin, because the one thing I
would think about New York isthere's so many people.
I would feel like people wouldbe non-committal there just
because of the populationnumbers.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
I think it's a good question and it's one where I'm
happy the platform is a placewhere I can kind of answer it.
I was in a seven yearrelationship when I was in New
York.
I was with somebody who wasjust really great right on time
for my life.
I really have no negativethings to say about NEX, Unless
(29:46):
a few, maybe a few but-.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
You would have some feelings you don't have to have.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
But yeah, I'll keep that to myself, right, I think
at the end of the day.
Everybody has their ownexperience and you want to
respect that.
But I had a seven year ex andmy first time really putting
myself out there in a datingmarket not like, oh, we broke up
for a week, two weeks, I'mgonna go talk to a friend and
I'm gonna date for a week andmeet up with somebody.
(30:10):
But no, seriously taking thelead on spearheading my
experience of dating, my firsttime on a dating app was in
Austin and I don't know if I'mreally gonna be the best person
to answer what dating was likein New York.
I will say that my friends'experiences were very much so
similar to how you explained it.
(30:31):
There's just a.
It's a fast moving revolvingdoor, if you want it to be, but
also at the same time, you canreally meet some great people
and do some of my friends.
They're married now.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
Yeah, I mean Austin probably has a similar problem.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
Oh yeah, I'd probably say so for sure.
Speaker 1 (30:50):
And we were talking about this.
Yeah, and I feel like there'sgoing to be times on this
podcast where we're like,conflicted with our answers on
things, because and that's whatI love about having a co-host
Cause I'm coming in with my ownfemale perspective and then we
got the male perspective overthere and I was talking to you
the other day about Peter Pansyndrome in Austin.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
And.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
I looked at you and I kind of started thinking about
myself and I was like, do I have?
Speaker 2 (31:19):
I thought you were going to say.
You looked at me and you'relike does he have Peter?
Speaker 1 (31:22):
Pan syndrome.
No, I wasn't going to tell youthat I started.
I was like I was like going tosay something negative about,
like you know, all the men havePeter Pan syndrome, but I was
like I'm 29 and I'm single.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
No, but I mean, what's?
What's the answer nowadays?
Right, like, I think whatyou're doing is you're really
putting your career first andyou've had I think you've you've
been in love before.
If I could answer for you, isthat correct?
Yeah, yeah, and you've had someamazing experiences, but you've
also been jaded by the bad ones, right, like we all get that
way and it's just a matter oflike, how fast do you want to be
(31:56):
?
Or like, how far do you want togo in that healing process?
And I think, from what I know,you've really been focused on
your career and it's paying off.
I mean, look at you here today,like there's not one person
that knows you in yourprofessional world that wouldn't
brag about you.
So it's, it's what you make it.
Speaker 1 (32:14):
That's super sweet.
I think the thing for me andlike why I've stayed single for
so long is it's like the personright and like I'll go on dates
with guys in Austin and they'lldo a lot of nice things, like
they'll take me to Uchi or todinner.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
Is Uchi the answer?
Speaker 1 (32:32):
No, this is what I don't understand.
Speaker 2 (32:34):
I feel like there's a big misconception around that.
Speaker 1 (32:36):
This is what I have a hard time with.
The men that I go on dates withis like I cannot be bought.
Speaker 2 (32:41):
I love that.
Like that is not that cast.
I cannot be bought me either.
Speaker 1 (32:47):
Yeah, and I think that they start realizing when
they're taking me on dates.
Yeah this is not gonna be aneasy process.
Yeah you know, and that leadsout a lot of people what If you
feel that someone is trying tobuy you?
Speaker 2 (33:03):
What is, like, your natural, natural reaction?
Is it to end the date or is itto like try to get them to snap
out of it and just Be themselvesand be a little bit more
authentic?
Speaker 1 (33:13):
I have a hard time with this.
Yeah, because I feel like, atthe end of the day, Shoot.
Speaker 2 (33:19):
I have a hard time cutting people out of my life
Like.
I know I've been the poison inother people's lives like I've
had to recognize that yeahreflect on it and get better at
this.
It's not easy to become better.
But at least you notice it,like you noticing that I think
that that's a game changer foryou.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
Well, I feel like, at the end of the day, like we're
manipulative People yeah rightor human beings are manipulative
, absolutely so.
It's like you know, there'sprobably something I want out of
this person and there'sprobably something they want out
of me.
Yeah, and I'm not saying that'sthe right way to look at it,
but there is kind of like avalue trade.
Speaker 2 (33:55):
It's reciprocity right.
Right like you want to sitAmong somebody and I feel like
we have that right, like there'sa version of reciprocity.
I know that I can exist in aconversation with you and you're
gonna tell me something orexpose me to something that I
Haven't been exposed to or don'tknow, or maybe I'm not
considering in a certain way andI think we always want that in
our relationships as wellthere's probably just some more
(34:17):
silos of dynamic that it touchesupon, but yeah, I think that
that that can be true there.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
Yeah, and I mean I can.
I can tell when someone'strying to buy me how.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
What's the first move ?
Speaker 1 (34:31):
Take me to a nice restaurant.
This just happened to me I hada guy take me to a nice
restaurant.
Speaker 2 (34:36):
I want to know if my restaurant when I would go on
dates was like I definitely wasnot this guy took me to a
restaurant.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
He was talking to me and he was talking about like
bags that he had bought forwomen, like purses, like what's
your?
He's asking me what my favoritedesigner brand was and in my
eyes I this is just mepersonally I'm listening and
thinking this man is trying toPick up from me what brands I
like, thinking he can buy me abag that I'll sleep with him,
(35:08):
which is absolutely not the case.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
I'd hope you take the bag though.
Speaker 1 (35:12):
No, there's.
There's women that are veryinterested in that they really
are, and sometimes I wish I was.
Yeah, because I'm like go getyour bag, but I want something
deep.
I want something meaningful,yeah, and About a piece of
fabric, is not it?
Well?
Speaker 2 (35:30):
I think the scarier thing for me is that people
believe that that's it right,like people will Host it or
boast and brag about gettingsomebody something to say
they're deserving of morebecause of that.
Like no, there's always anexchange of things and it's just
it works out that way.
It shouldn't be your be all endall for any experience right.
Speaker 1 (35:52):
Yeah, yeah, I Don't know.
It's tough, like, how is datingbeen for you and your
experiences in Austin?
Speaker 2 (35:59):
I feel like I touched on it the way I want to, okay.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
I'll leave you alone, yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:04):
I think for me it's just, it's been a little bit
different, but I will say I'velearned a lot, honestly, yeah,
and it's probably probably backto that other point I made where
I've had to Realize that I'vebeen the poison for some other
people before, right, and I havea little bit of a toxic trait
(36:25):
where I I think it's it comefrom a good place, right.
Like I believe in people, Ibelieve that people are always
growing to become their bestversion of themselves.
I believe that you should giveeverybody grace, like you don't
know what somebody deals with intheir day or what's going on,
and that should be live and well.
But there should also be aversion of boundaries in that,
(36:45):
and I don't know how much I'vealways existed in that and I
would hold people on for toolong so to know that.
And then other people had theauthority and, honestly, the the
ability to cut me out when itwas probably rightfully so, not
even probably it was rightfullyso.
I've really had to sit with thatand reflect and become a better
(37:08):
person and I, honestly, I'malways growing and I'm okay with
it.
So, just always in growth mode,that's all.
Yeah, yeah, that's my, that'smy, my answer on dating.
Yeah, but I will say I wouldprobably want to go into one
thing about dating and it's theversion of me picking out my
restaurant.
I always pick up one restaurantwhere I want to make sure I
(37:31):
kind of get that Answer fromeverybody that knows me well
enough there at the restaurantif, if I look like I'm
comfortable.
Speaker 1 (37:38):
Do you have a spot where, like I did, they wouldn't
like?
The staff would know you it wasWu Chao.
Speaker 2 (37:44):
We found Austin.
It just offered me this versionof a New York vibe when I was
in there, and it was kind ofalso one of the places I first
went to when I got here.
But they would just always giveme that that head nod or
something if I look like I wasuncomfortable and your feelings
and emotions can lie to you whenyou're in front of someone
right, and they kind of wouldlook out for me.
(38:05):
But I have since changed.
I no longer do that and I'mmore of a coffee day guy if I
ever did need to go on a date.
But I don't need to go on datesanymore, so that's all that's
awesome.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:18):
Yeah, I mean, you know, I think it's tough, like
with the dating situation.
Speaker 2 (38:25):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:26):
You know how standard is, you know, but like it's a
part of our history too, right.
Speaker 2 (38:30):
Yeah, this episode is so people can get to know more
about us, and what better way toget to know somebody who's in
this, this highlight of theirlife that's it's a highlight
reel, right like you get to knowwho somebody is and how they've
experienced life, and Maybeeven like what their exposure
has been here and also certainpeople like certain things.
(38:51):
Right, I feel as if my datingexperience here has led me to
different sides of the city,like one one side was a little
bit more active.
The other side was a little bitmore party-esque.
It's it's us like people shouldget to know about our dating.
Speaker 1 (39:07):
Yeah, I mean, I think it's interesting what you said
about Wu Chao and, like thestaff knowing from your
expressions, I like now want it.
But like I mean, when you'reHappy with someone you're on a
date with, it's so evident, likeat least for me.
Like I know I look like a giddylittle schoolgirl and there's
(39:28):
so many times I'll like go ondates, yeah, and I'll just like
not even think about what I'mgoing to wear.
And those are the times I knowI'm not that interested, because
if it's anyone I really likethere's a lot of thought going
into that outfit.
And I know you like yourfashion yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:48):
I will say everybody will get some exposure to my
favorite outfits.
Speaker 1 (39:52):
Yeah, in each season.
Speaker 2 (39:53):
You have a lot of clothes.
I'm a clothes guy, yeah well,sneakers to.
I like the most big sneaker guy, my sister.
She's got me obsessed withsneakers.
I think that's like a New Yorker, like New Yorkers love sneakers
my sister and brother Iprobably both of them, honestly,
my older brother or the sister.
They just always had great shoeselection and you know, I was
(40:16):
the younger brother alwaystrying to wear their stuff and
they would help me out.
My sister she was alwaysfashionable with sneakers, so
there's a time where I was thesame size as her.
For sure I would wear her stuff, but I'm not a heel guy.
Now where are my sisters?
Heels?
Speaker 1 (40:32):
Yeah, yeah, that's funny.
Speaker 2 (40:34):
Yeah, I mean the other thing I would want to say
is what do you feel has beenkind of like your greatest
lesson?
Maybe over the most recent timesince COVID, because I think a
lot of friendships have changed,a lot of people have Picked up
new hobbies or whatever may haveit.
Do you think you've picked up anew hobby or something that has
been Thrilling Like?
Speaker 1 (40:58):
I feel like the last few years have been some of the
loneliest, yeah, years of mylife and it's like the biggest
gift that I've ever had, becauseI've never had to go so deeply
Internally by myself and reallyface myself and I just, yeah, I
feel like a lot of people don'tdo that or don't take the time
(41:21):
to heal from things.
Yeah, and I've spent so muchtime getting up early like I
would go on walks at 4 amListening to affirmation, like I
literally look at myself in themirror and like tell myself
things, write the little stickynotes, do the vision boards, all
of the woo-woo things.
Speaker 2 (41:39):
Yeah but, I mean, I'm not just yesing you, I do the
same, like there's a version ofme that believes in that.
So it's like I really dorespect you.
Yeah, applause for you, forsure.
Speaker 1 (41:50):
Yeah, so I feel like out of being lonely, I grew into
this version of myself thatdoesn't need anyone, so the
people that I do have in my lifeare very specifically Chosen
for who they are.
Speaker 2 (42:06):
Yeah, it's like the first round draft picks over
there.
Speaker 1 (42:09):
Yeah, the team are out, goodbye.
Speaker 2 (42:13):
I love it.
I love it.
I will say I feel as if I havesome of the same experience.
For sure, I've had to do a lotof that.
That interpersonal work andsome of that stuff has really
gone back on the idea of like,what does community mean to me?
And like, who do I want to bearound me?
Are they around me for theright reasons?
Am I around them for the rightreasons?
And who do I want to be?
And and how am I gonna getthere in the most expeditious
(42:37):
way?
So I there's definitely somesimilarities there.
I'm just happy that we canalign and both be a part of each
other's community.
I'll take being a first-rounddraft pick any day.
Speaker 1 (42:46):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (42:47):
I appreciate you and I you know, for everybody else
that's tuning in, we're gonnahave a lot of special guests
here and An opportunity to getto know more about us in each
and every episode.
But come on back to the lobby.
It's going down.
Speaker 1 (43:06):
Yeah, I'm so excited and we're gonna have like an
episode released every week.
Yes, every day, on Tuesdaywe're gonna have awesome guests
and then we're gonna like oursocial stuff we got.
We want you guys to follow.
Speaker 2 (43:19):
Yeah, tick tock Instagram.
We're debating Twitter.
We'll see, or X.
Speaker 1 (43:29):
Yeah, you can find us on Instagram and tick tock yeah
at in the lobby pod Yep, andthen we'll be streaming on
Spotify, apple podcasts and alot of the other ones, so
YouTube as well.
Youtube.
So I got a lot of work to do,roger, you know.
Speaker 2 (43:47):
It's tough to be us.
Speaker 1 (43:49):
Yeah, I'm so excited, but, um, I'm gonna say
something.
I'm cutting all this going down.
No, I mean, I think, if youwant to say something though,
you should say like come back tothe lobby because you know it's
going down.
You say that.
I'm gonna say it's going down,okay come back to the lobby.
It's going down, going down soexcited and I'm so thankful for
(44:14):
you and Season one is just gonnabe so much fun and we're gonna
get to tell so many people'sstories and I'm so excited for
sure I'm pumped.
Speaker 2 (44:23):
Let's get after.
I'll see you, girl.
Speaker 1 (44:27):
I'm gonna turn this off.
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