#26: In this episode, fitness coach Bryan Pollard reveals how leveraging data transforms fitness goals into measurable success. Discover his proven strategies for creating customized workout plans, building discipline, and achieving peak performance.
Bryan shares his personal fitness journey, offering actionable insights into how fitness impacts mindset and life transformation.
We also explore the critical role of aligned values in relationships and how they can support long-term goals.
Whether you’re looking to optimize your workouts, cultivate discipline, or find inspiration in shared values, this episode has something for you.
Tune in for expert fitness advice and life-changing insights!
You can follow Bryan Pollard:
@bryanpollardfitness
Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.
You can follow Pain In My Cass Podcast: @paininmycasspod
You can follow Cassandra Jean:
@paininmycass_
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
My man is clean, clean, no no, no, I knew Brian
was going to come, dressed sonice and I'm like literally in a
Barbie t-shirt from Target.
I was like this is notacceptable.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
I did Uber, or well, I did Urban Outfitters, and then
in my Uber I'm like I don'tknow if I really like this shirt
.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
I like that shirt.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Urban has got something now and your artwork.
Oh man, I'm an addict for mathand this is like connected to
some like ancient geometry stuffand I promise you I'll nerd out
if you ask me too manyquestions I told brian.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
I told brian, though I was like he's gotta look nice
because this personal brand thathe's been building oh yeah so
like it's just so gq like yeaheverything that you're doing,
and I don't even know if, ifRoger knows this, but my
original podcast I had maybe ayear ago.
I took you to coffee, went to goget coffee and I was like I
(00:54):
really want you to come on mypodcast and it didn't end up
happening.
But you've always been someonewho believed in me and supported
me and I think right after Ileft coffee with you, I went and
recorded like a solo episodemotivated oh my god he pushed me
to go do it, and then I did thesolo episode and it was so
(01:17):
scary that's awesome.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
I mean, that's what, that's how you grow.
You know, it's kind of steppingout of the zone and just doing
the hard things and, um, youknow, I feel like we put a lot
of pressure on ourselves to, youknow, be perfect or the ideal
version of ourselves, but sureyou only get there through reps.
Yeah, so you know, go shoot thesolo podcast, so what you know.
If it sucks, like, keep itmoving, go do another one, go do
(01:39):
another one, like that's thesame with content, like we were
just talking about earlier.
It's like, like you know, it'slike, oh, your content is good.
Well, I don't think it's goodcompared to a lot of people that
I look to, of course, but youknow, it's a lot better than
when I started, and the only wayI got better is just doing reps
after reps after reps and likeI think also a lot of times we
think that people are payingattention to us more than they
really are, and that's what Ikind of try to remind myself,
(02:01):
like I value myself, but I'm notas important as I think I am.
And, like you know, especiallyin this fast-paced world where
it's just like so much attentionand people have attention spans
of like four to five seconds,it's like they notice you for a
second and then they forgetabout you, and so it's like,
just go out there, do your thing, put in the reps, get better,
do it for yourself and, you know, start to progress over time.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
You could tell it's genuine.
I feel like I'm I'm motivated,yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
I was just talking to him before we hit record
because I was like he's not justlike putting these videos out
and being like motivating likehe's practicing what he's
preaching, and it's so cool tosee just kind of how your career
has transitioned, because whenI first met with you you were
still kind of going really hardin the real estate game and now
(02:48):
you've put a little bit morefocus on this like personal
coaching, fitness coaching, andso I've got to kick it off with
the intro.
We've got to welcome BrianPollard to In the Lobby podcast.
You're a data driven fitnesscoach which I was giving him a
hard time.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
I want to know what this means yeah, yeah, for sure.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
Well, yeah, thank you guys both having me.
I'm excited to be here, youknow, to kind of touch on the
coaching business part.
Yeah, it's a health data drivenfitness coaching program and
you know my word for this yearand when I was really starting
this business, is optimization,yeah, and really just becoming a
better person holistically andbecoming the most optimized
(03:33):
versions of ourselves.
And this is really where theessence of it all started and
you know I was telling her.
You know the ideal clientavatar for me is like business
owners and when you're running abusiness, it's all data driven
right.
And I feel like for a lot of thefitness industry with coaches
and this is no jab at them, Imean I'm supporting anyone who's
(03:53):
out there to help other peopleget better, for sure, but I feel
like it's a guessing game and Iwant to kind of take the
guesswork out of the picture.
And so the way we do things is,you know, first we have blood
work and then we use wearabletechnology like whoops and or
rings and things of that natureto continuously optimize,
because that allows us to see,like, where you are specifically
(04:16):
, Because if you think about itlike, let's say, you have two
people the same gender, the sameage, the same height, the same
weight, with the same goals,nine times out of 10.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
Same thing is not going to work for all three.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
It's not going to work right.
But a coach is going to giveyou the same workout nutrition
plan and then you're going to gothrough it for a couple of
weeks and then they're going tosay, okay, well, I see you're
not losing as much weight as youthought you could.
So let's try to guess and makesome changes on this side.
But if I come to to you andlike I'm looking at your blood
work 48 different biomarkersdown to the DNA I'm looking at
(04:47):
your you know technology as faras, like your sleep, your strain
, your recovery, your heart rate, all these different metrics
Then I can really dive in andsee what the heck is going on
and make the proper adjustments,you know, based off of that.
And that's kind of where it allcame from, and it's it's a work
in progress.
With any business, you know,it's figuring out what works and
what doesn't.
But at least with the way thatI'm doing it, I'm able to get an
(05:09):
individualized picture on eachclient to make the best decision
moving forward.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
I mean data is important and for you to go
against the grain or status quoof what people are doing in the
fitness industry.
I'm sure that that's hard inits own respect, right, yeah,
but you could tell again.
You hear that passion that youhave.
You hear the investment thatyou have into not only just what
you're doing, but these arepeople's lives.
Like you're messing with theirblood work, you're messing with
their sleep.
You are really tracking andtaking a look at these things to
(05:35):
make, like, appropriatedecisions for them to adjust
their life to be a better person, right?
Speaker 3 (05:40):
so you, you hear that and that's that's cool,
honestly and it all started with, like, my personal
transformation and it's likeI've been on a six-year journey
of this and you know, taking itback to my la days, like I'm
from virginia born and raised.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
But I hear that sigh.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
Once you offer that side the six-year journey,
you're like it's, it's hard man,it's super hard man, it's super
hard, but I was very lost, yeah, in la, you know, just to be
transparent with you guys, and Ihear you it's like deep, deep,
deep in a dark hole and I'm likehow can I get out?
And the only thing that I knewwas like fitness and, like I
said, it's been an up and downjourney for the last six years
but we're trending upwards forsure and, um, you know, like I
(06:17):
said, bringing it back, it'slike I just want to become
optimized.
You know, like a lot of peoplewas like, oh, let's lose 30
pounds in 30 days.
Or you know, let's do this andthat, and for me, it's like I
just want to be a better personoverall.
Yeah, and that's mentally,physically, emotionally, like,
um, in business and ourrelationships, and like really
just optimize ourselves.
And you know, I always tell myfriends like we got this one
(06:39):
life, like let's just, let'smaximize it to the absolute
maximum.
You know it's like and the onlyway that we can actually
maximize our life is by beinghealthy.
Yeah, and taking our fitnessserious and like caring about
ourselves and that's.
You know I feel like, uh, youknow, fitness is one of the best
forms of like self-respect whenyou really take care of your
(07:00):
bodies and, um, you know, also,like I see these people, you
know, like that have thesefamilies and like I would do
anything for my kids, you know Iwould do anything for my family
, yeah, but will you go to thegym?
You know, will you get healthy?
And this is not taking a job,this is not negative, this is
just reality.
Yeah, let's really like take alook like what would you really
do for your family?
And, um, you know, I'mfortunate enough to have found
(07:22):
this purpose and passion in thefitness industry and I'm excited
for the future and this is likesomething I'll do for the next
60 years of my life.
And you know, we're slowlystarting and I'm excited to see
where it goes.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
And I think me being on my journey.
You say something that I reallyI would hope it sounds like
either you're already saying itor if there's a way you can try
to like package it in your ownway, because you say it's so
like in such a healthy way.
It's like comparison is a thiefof joy 100 and you're really
like being intentional in eachconversation, in each effort and
(07:54):
each thing you're doing andit's it's remarkable, it's
admirable.
Honestly, thank you.
So it is very honestly likeit's a pleasure to meet you, um,
and also to see anothergentleman of color on the
journey and doing, doing yourthing and and multiple different
uh, arenas and avenues of work,like it's truly an exciting
time to have you on the podcastyeah, thank you, and I'll speak
(08:15):
on that comparison thing.
Speaker 3 (08:16):
I think, absolutely, it's the, it's the thief of joy
and yeah, it's just so prevalentin our dna.
Everything, man, it'severything.
I mean I catch myself dailycomparing it but at the end of
the day, like everybody's ontheir own journey, and that's,
you can almost take pride inthat.
Yeah, and that takes some ofthe pressure off.
And on this comparison thing,you know I got a couple thoughts
.
Is, you know, we're always, youknow, not necessarily in
(08:42):
comparison, but just on thegrowth in life, is that we're
always looking.
Once we get here, then we'll behappy, sure, right, and that
can be with comparison, like ifI was just like this guy, if I
just had his talents, if I justhad his hair right, if I just
had his height, or, for women,especially if I just look like
her, this, that and the other,we're always like if I was here,
then I will be happy, right.
And that's just such a toxicthing to you know, bring on
(09:05):
yourself, there's so muchpressure in that.
And if we can alleviate that by, for example, a lot of people,
they don't want a milliondollars.
They want the feeling that theythink a million dollars is going
to bring them.
They don't care about being six, four or good, or having blonde
hair, blue eyes.
They just think that thatfeeling is going to make them
happier.
So if we can walk in that spaceand that feeling of what we
(09:27):
think that thing is going tobring us, it takes the pressure
off.
And so that's what I've reallybeen learning over the last six
months.
I wake up every day I feel likeI'm the most successful, bad to
the bone fitness coach, changingpeople's lives, optimizing
people's lives, running abusiness that's service first.
That's really getting results.
That's caring about the people.
I'm an amazing husband.
(09:48):
I'm an amazing father.
I have great friends.
I'm a great friend and I livein that moment, despite it all
having played out yet.
And that takes the pressure offand that's all I can do because
I feel it.
I feel it to the core Like I'mthere right and Like I'm I'm
there Right, and it's just notup to me to say how or when that
happens, but it's up to me tohave that feeling before it
happens.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
Well, I'll tell you, the audience is infectious, like
I'm, like I hear you Can.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
I attend it.
But also you just made me thinkof a conversation I had with my
mom today, and I'm sure thisprobably gets brought up with.
Like your female clients, doyou know what Ozempic is?
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
Yeah, so it's like I work out all the time, like I'm
eating healthy, and I was likelooking at like some of the
celebrities who have like lost alot of weight recently.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
Taking Ozempic.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Yes, and then you start getting in your own head
of like, comparison, right, likeI'm like, maybe I should take
that Like I want to look likethem, and it's such a thief of
joy, so you just reiteratingthat to me, I'm like.
That just meant so much to me,just hearing that come out of
your mouth, you know so yeah andwe were talking about too, like
how different it looks being afitness coach with, like, female
(10:59):
clients versus male clients,and just like their bodies are
so different, hormones are sodifferent, and you were saying
that maybe sometimes your femaleclients are a little bit easier
to train than your male clients.
Yeah, why is that?
Speaker 3 (11:16):
yeah, I would.
I definitely agree it's.
It's a very different spectrum.
Um, and I don't know the wordto, but, selfishly, I would
prefer to work with men, simplybecause I don't feel
authoritative enough to speak ona woman's behalf because I'm
not in her body.
I hear you, man, I don't gothrough those things.
That doesn't mean I can't learn.
Do the research, talk to women,you know, become educated in
(11:38):
the, in the space, especiallyaround hormones and cycles and
so forth.
Um, but yeah, well, like wewere saying earlier, you know it
is a different dynamic withwith men and women, and I have
probably split, split, halffemale, half male clients at
this point.
And you know my female clients,brittley is one of them and
she's just absolutely amazing.
(11:58):
She shows up to work, she askedthe right questions, she said
what can I do?
I say this is what we got to do, like this is a nine month, 12
month journey for you For sure,setting the expectations.
She's like, okay, you know,like I'll just follow the script
, and that's what we call it.
You just follow the script, orfollow the recipe, right, and
(12:21):
you know it's no bash on men,for sure, and I think you know,
not in a negative space, but alittle bit of ego gets involved.
You got to play it.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
You know, and.
Speaker 3 (12:31):
I get it, I get it and you know, like I work with
some dogs and they want to bedogs and it's just a balancing
act, Right.
And you know, as I'm buildingthis business, I'm really like
seeing who I like to work withmost and who I don't like to
work with most, so I can reallyniche down and be like this is a
specific person I want to workwith every day and just grow in
that.
And I think that's really wheregrowth comes in businesses for,
(13:02):
like riches are in the nichesis what they say.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
And, um, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm playing it out
relationship, that one, it seemsvery, very healthy and
motivating.
And I'm outside looking in andI'm just like this dude's got me
pumped up.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
I know right, so motivating.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
Yes, it is a very positive experience.
But where are you from?
Where's home?
Because you said, virginia, I'man East Coast guy myself.
And then what got you intofitness?
Yeah, because, like I, I hearwhere you are present present
day.
The six year journey to getthere, that's not easy, right,
and it's a, it's a work inprogress.
Every day you're waking up withthat mind state that the, the
(13:38):
riches, are in the niches.
That's dope.
I like that.
I don't know if I've heard itthat way, but I like that and
I'm going to steal that For sure.
But I do need to understand,like for you to be so connected
on this, like this level ofjourney for other people too,
right, like what got you soconnected and focusing on
fitness?
Speaker 3 (13:56):
Yeah, that's a great question and I think it's just
been the evolution of like lifeand, you know, I wish I could
well, I can't pinpoint a couplelife-changing moments that
really pushed it down, but Ithink it's, you know, from the
time I grew up.
I'm from Lynchburg, virginia, alittle small country town, and
I think that, um, you know, alot of my friends and family are
still there and I love them todeath, but I was always the type
(14:17):
like I got to get out.
There's just so much more inlife and that's just what I want
to really preach to people.
It's just so much out there, wehave this one little life and
like we all think like we'regoing to live till we're 80, 90,
100 years old and that's justlike very selfish to think that
we're afforded that much time.
And it's you know I'm sayingthis in a positive manner it's
like let's really take advantageof the time that we do have and
(14:39):
make the biggest change that wecan have.
And I think that starts withourselves.
Like how can you pour intoother people if you don't fill
your cup up first?
Yeah, right, and so I playedsports my whole life growing up.
I unfortunately got hurt playingfootball my junior year of high
school, so that ended anycollegiate activities, yeah, and
so I was in the fitness.
You know the knee was botheringme, so I wasn't.
(15:01):
Yeah, I'm surprised.
I, the knee was bothering me,so I wasn't.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
I'm surprised.
I thought you played somecollege football.
You got quite the build on you,yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:07):
I wish, but I'm also grateful for the path that I did
take, for sure, for sure.
And so, you know, college, Iworked out a little bit here and
there, and then my senior year,I was just really focused on
school.
I wasn't at the gym, I was, youknow, not confident in myself
and my body.
I body, I wasn't as healthy asI know I could be.
I moved to LA for a girl at thetime and I get caught up in the
party scene.
(15:27):
I'm just partying every weekendand going through the motions.
Like I said, I was just in thisdeep dark hole and it got to a
point where I have a picture andI think it's probably on my
Instagram somewhere.
It's like the side by side, andI took the picture and it was
on Snapchat.
Back when people use SnapchatSure, I don't really use it
anymore, but, um, the title wasday one and I was like I woke up
(15:48):
.
I was just sick of being inthat space, mediocre.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:53):
Really just just just sick of like not taking
advantage of this beautiful,like life that God has given me,
Right.
And so I was like this is dayone and from that day, like I
said, it's been a been a rollercoaster.
Of course, I think success isnot linear.
It's definitely definitely hassome, some highs and lows, but
from that day forward I justmade up in my mind, like from
this day forward, like I'm goingto prioritize, you know, my
(16:14):
health and my fitness, so that Ican bring into this world the
most that I physically andemotionally can.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
And so that's kind of really where it all started for
me and emotionally can, and sothat's kind of really where it
all started for me, and then Idon't even mean to ask too much
because I feel like I'm just soexcited to one thank you for the
introduction and you being hereon the episode.
But now I'm like do you explainthat story every time you get a
new client?
Speaker 3 (16:37):
or do they even care to ask, or do they just they get
that experience right, like uh,not every time I've been
reluctant to be as like uh,what's the word I'm looking for?
Vocal, yeah, open or?
because it can be intimidatingit is intimidating and it's like
a man.
It's like a little bitembarrassing, I would say, to
say that I was never, likealways at the top of my game,
(17:00):
yeah, but I think a lot ofpeople can relate to it and
that's really what inspires metoday is just help the Brian
from a year ago, six months ago,from six years ago, right, and
I feel like you know, like inorder to be a leader, you just
have to be one step ahead of theperson you're leading, yeah,
and so all I'm doing is takingthe skills and the mindset and
(17:21):
the things that I've learnedover this last six years of
what's worked for me, whathasn't worked for me, and I'm
just handing it on a plate to myclients and I'm like this is
what I know, this is what'sworked for me and Got me this
far.
Yeah, it's got me this far andI'm still working, I'm still
making progress, but as I grow,you're gonna grow with me, right
, and we're gonna.
A lot of it comes to, like ourmentality, and that's really
(17:42):
what I've been focusing on most,like recently, like I've been
at the top of my fitness gamebut like still had a weak mind
and so like I'm just reallytrying to strengthen the mind so
much that you almost becomeunbreakable and you know that's.
You know I'm sure you're goingto ask about this later, but
that's kind of where the 12marathons and 12 months you know
came from, you know came fromis like, what goal can I set for
(18:08):
myself?
That is so big and so scarythat I have to practice day in,
day in, week in, week out, monthin, month out for 12 months.
Right, if I can do this for 12months and then succeed at the
end of the year, it's impossiblefor me to not have the mental
fortitude but also theself-confidence in myself that I
can do anything.
I put my mind to right, becauseself-confidence doesn't come
from standing in the mirror andsaying affirmations to yourself
or writing in your journal yourgratitude all that stuff's
(18:30):
important From betting onyourself, yeah, but it's making
promises and then keeping themto ourselves.
How many times do we say thatwe're going to do something and
then don't do it, like evenlittle things?
Like I'm going to go to the gymtoday and then you don't go,
and then that's subconsciouslyprogramming you to say, you know
, it's okay to lie to yourself,I'm going to read this book.
We get halfway through and quit, you know.
And so to make a goal, like forme, like that was that
(18:53):
intensive for that amount oftime, I think you know, when I
get to the end of the year, likeI'll be really like
self-confident and proud ofmyself, that like, like I really
can do anything, and that'sjust going to reflect again in
my business and my relationshipsand how I can serve my clients
and friends.
That's awesome.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
I always talk about that because, as you were saying
, life, life goes by so fast,right, and it's like if you're
showing up every day beingconsistent, it's like all of a
sudden you'll wake up and you'llhave achieved your goals
because you were so consistent,you know along the way.
So it's so, and I thinkhonestly, brian, why I resonated
(19:28):
with you so much when I firstmet you was you were telling me
about your experiences in LA andthat you hadn't always been at
the top and you'd worked hard tobecome this version of yourself
, and I think so many people canrelate to that, because there's
been so many times I'm in thesedark depths of my own life and
(19:49):
I think, for me personally, theone thing that's always pulled
me out is like fitness, becauseanytime I get in the gym, I
watch my mental health shift somuch and I know you're in the
gym, yeah, every day every day.
I can't go without it yeah, Ihonestly have a hard time
understanding how peoplefunction without working out at
(20:11):
all, you know, because I feellike it affects your mental
health so much.
So, yeah, and I feel like justeverything you're doing for your
clients you're reallyadvocating for both male and
females mental health, healthand their, like, fitness journey
.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
Yeah, and I think like people don't realize, like
just you getting up and again,like making that commitment to
yourself, I'm going to go to thegym and just going there.
You may not have to have likethe most elitist workout, but
just getting there that means somuch to your day, so much to
your circadian rhythm.
Speaker 3 (20:45):
It's incredible.
And not to cut you off, no yeah.
It's like that's what I preach.
It's like we just have to startStart.
Yeah, really, you just have tostart.
And this, like for me, like I'mso grateful for my friends and
my mentors, it's like even forthe business, it was paralysis
analysis, like, like, just takethe first step with content,
just post the first post.
Right, like Mr Beast, he's thebest content creator ever.
(21:07):
It's insane.
And he's like you can't evenjudge your content until you
have a thousand posts.
Right, you might not feel likegoing to the gym, but get up and
just drive to the gym, walk inthere, take a lap stretch and
then come home, but just gettingthat in that motion.
But, like you said, fitnessdefinitely, uh, helps you
mentally.
I mean, it releases endorphinsand there's so many benefits to
to fitness.
And, um, you were sayingsomething earlier I wanted to
(21:27):
allude to, but, um, you know,just creating that discipline,
like there's so much freedom anddiscipline, right, people think
that discipline restricts you.
Discipline creates that freedombecause you're no longer uh,
you know, for lack of betterwords a slave to your, to your
desires and your and your wants.
Right, you're no longer, youknow, for lack of better words a
slave to your, to your desiresand your and your wants, right?
You're no longer just a victimof every little thing, right?
(21:50):
You just don't give in toeverything.
Right?
If you want more time, you haveto have more time discipline,
more time management.
If you want more, betterresults in the gym, you have to
have more discipline.
If you want more financialsuccess, you have to have more
discipline with your finances.
Just, they just go hand in hand, freedom and discipline.
And one more thing I'll add isyou know, in the world of
(22:11):
fitness and just in life, like Ialways encourage people to do
hard stuff, right, and I waslistening to an Andrew Huberman
podcast it was with DavidGoggins and I'm not a
neuroscientist, but he wasexplaining that there's these
studies that have been donewhere there's a part in your
brain that is responsible forwillpower, sure, and the way
(22:31):
that it grows is neuroplastic orhowever, the neuroplasticity
neuroplasticity so it can growand it can shrink, and the way
to grow it is to wake up and dohard stuff.
Now, this is like that can looklike anything to anybody.
That can be just going to thegym and doing a 10 minute
workout, or it can be running amarathon every month Right, but
doing those hard things over andover and over again.
(22:54):
He says that increases yourwillpower or, better yet, your
will to live.
That's awesome.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
Yeah, that's awesome.
I think a lot of times like wealmost are so comfortable
sitting in complacency and it'slike doing anything that's hard
and is going to move you towardsyour goals is going to be a
little bit uncomfortable yeahand it's so easy just to like
sit at home on your sofa with athrow blanket and be comfy, cozy
.
It's really uncomfortable to getup at 5 am when it's cold
(23:21):
outside and go to the gym, andso I was telling Roger this the
other day because cause we'vebeen really busy working on the
podcast and I'll get reallystressed.
And I'll tell him.
This is good, though, becausewe're not sitting on in our
comfort zones any longer.
When you're stressed anduncomfortable, it's usually
cause you're pushing yourselftowards something, and I mean I
(23:42):
see your posts like you're up atthe crack of dawn, so I can
only think that you have like aset of routines, probably like a
morning routine.
I don't know if you have anevening routine, but I want to
know what someone like you, whatyour day looks like when you
first get out of bed.
Speaker 3 (23:59):
Yeah, yeah, of course it's pretty systematic.
For me at this point in my lifeit's almost the same day every
day.
But yeah, we wake up, you know,first thing I do is pray Um,
that's super important to me.
And then I practice some breathwork 60 seconds, um, which
really just gets the uh, youknow, your, your nervous system
(24:20):
regulated Right.
And then, um, and then we startthe day.
You know, uh, some meditation,with work, along with the breath
work and really just framingthe mind.
How long do you meditate?
Again, you know, five, tenminutes, it kind of just depends
.
So I actually have a breathwork coach, brittley, one of my
clients.
So, she sends me a breath workslash, meditation, self-guided.
(24:43):
That's awesome, and so you knowjust getting my head in that
space, because a lot of theactions that we do like are
funded by our subconscious right.
And what I used to do and whatreally was a disadvantage for
myself is I'd wake up and firstthing I would do is get on my
phone.
Oh yeah, that's where thatcomparison comes in.
Yeah, and it just, it's just theeasiest way to like not have a
(25:07):
good day, because you're alreadyfirst thing in the morning and
you're, and you're rushing Right, and you're just getting that
little dopamine hit like everytwo seconds, scrolling and
scrolling and scrolling, andthen your whole day goes through
that.
You feel like you're behind,you feel like you're rushed, you
feel like you're not doingenough and all these negative
connotations come with that, andso what I've done is like no
phone for the first hour.
(25:28):
When I wake up, you know, I,like I said, I wake up, I pray,
I do my breath work, I do mymeditation, I take a cold shower
, you know, I stretch, get mybody moving and then I start my
day.
Speaker 2 (25:33):
I think the hardest thing, too, is when you do that
people can take you as rude andyou're like wait, I'm not being
rude, like I'm like I just Inever answer my phone until
after 10 am.
I think they respect it Ahundred percent.
Speaker 3 (25:50):
People feel like with these phones is that they have
automatic access to you.
Absolutely not I tell myclients, like you got 24-7
access to me, right, but there'sboundaries to it, you know, and
I'll get to the message when Iget to it, the message when I
get to it.
There's nothing that pressingin my life or other people's
lives that I can't wait an hour,right.
And if it can't call me, right,we can address that.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
And it's not like I'm going to ignore anybody, like
I'm going to.
We're all going to do our bestfor each other.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
Some people are so annoying, They'll like hit the
question mark.
They'll hit the exclamation.
I'm like can you give me likefive minutes?
Speaker 3 (26:23):
yeah, yeah, and it's, it's, it's you know, it's sad,
but it's you know.
Again it comes back to thephones.
It's just people think that theycan have yeah access to you and
that really like takes awayfrom how you're able to show up
for other people.
You know, if you're just givingeverybody your unlimited
attention and access to you, itjust really clouds like how
(26:43):
you're able to, um, carryyourself and, you know, pour
into other people.
And then for the night routine,again, no phone an hour before
bed.
And one thing I ask myselfevery night is what went well
today?
I think what I used to do islike what could I have done
better today?
But I no longer focus on thenegatives, it's just the
(27:04):
positives.
What went well today?
I write out a list, I thinkabout it and then, um, you know,
I think for me, like when I'msleeping, I'm subconsciously
like the last thing I thinkabout is all the positive that
happened throughout the day.
And so, like I'm sleeping on it, I'm subconsciously like
rewiring my brain to like thinkpositive, positive, positive,
positive.
And then I wake up in themorning positive, because I'm
not thinking about, oh, I didn't, didn't do this, this and this
(27:25):
today.
I'm thinking oh, I'm so gratefulfor another day.
Let's have another day, like wedid yesterday, and that just
kind of sets the tone for theday, when we're already waking
up in that positive framework.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
It's awesome.
I know I'm definitely guilty ofthat negative thought at the
end of the day and it'smotivation, like for me.
I'm a very competitive personso I know that if I can ask
myself that question like hey,what did I not do well today?
Or like, what could I improveon, it's always been a driving
force for me.
And that is you bring up such agood point that it's the end of
(27:58):
my day and I really shouldadjust that to be positive for
sure, because I think it'simportant to have those
conversations yeah, oh, I doyeah what didn't go right.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
But you have to take a temperature gauge on life.
We have to be realistic, butyou know, at the end of the day
it's like let's put the phonesaway, let's, you know, imagine
like scrolling for the last hourin bed and then the last thing
you see is like a girl or a guyyou wish you were like, and then
you go to sleep subconsciouslyyou're not thinking about it
subconscious is there, yeah,it's there, and then you wake up
and do the same thing over andover, and over and over and over
(28:29):
again.
How can you not just be anervous system wreck of like in
this comparison trap?
Speaker 2 (28:35):
really well it's like you're they say that you, your
mind doesn't know what's real ornot sometimes, so then it's
like looking at social media orlike watching a lot of tv.
It's like taking away from,like, the reality of your
internal world, kind of.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:50):
And then the other thing I think about too is these
routines are like so important,like I love what you're saying,
like do journal too, or likeokay.
What I feel like is hard is ifyou're dating, trying to bring
someone in, and then stillkeeping those routines right as
you're trying to date someoneelse.
Like no, sorry, honey, like youknow, I don't answer my phone
(29:11):
past this time or I've got to gowork out in the morning.
I'm sorry, I'm not going to layin bed and snuggle you.
I find that discipline becomesa little bit harder when you add
someone else in your life, so Idon't.
Are you?
Are you single?
Are you dating Single?
Speaker 3 (29:26):
Yeah, okay, um, I'm beginning to open the door to
dating.
I haven't for a while.
Um, just because it was reallylike self love.
Yeah, I just had to.
Um, you know how, how can I askfor a woman to bring me all
these attributes when I can'teven show up for myself, sure,
and I feel like that's just nota recipe for a healthy
relationship.
(29:47):
And so I had a lot of thingsthat I needed to work on, and
I'm still working on, of course.
But you know, I kind of feltwith dating, like, for me it's
like I think about it, I expecta lot, you know, and I feel like
I'm not to the level that Ineed to be to ask for that.
(30:07):
But I think that there's abalance to that, because we're
gonna grow at least most of us,I hope sure for for the rest of
our lives, right, so we're notever going to be at that top
level, you know, and if we waittill we're at that top level
again, the goalpost moves andmoves, and moves and we'll never
be ready for a relationship.
Um, so now I'm gonna be alone byitself for a long time, 100,
100.
(30:27):
And so I've kind of come to thegrips of like, okay, I'm in a
good space.
Like you know, the business ismaking money.
Yep, you know, I'm healthymentally, emotionally, um, I'm
healed from a lot of things, andso now I'm starting to open the
door, um.
But it definitely brings alevel of distraction for lack of
better words when you do bringthat partner into um, into the
(30:49):
field.
But that's why I think it'ssuper important to pick the
right partner, and I thinkpeople get lonely and impatient
so they just bring in somebodyto fill that void because
they're in not in the best spaceyeah and that's where you know
we see all these divorce rates.
Like what is it?
50 of people that get marriedget divorced yeah, it may even
be higher, honestly and it'slike we're just trying to have
(31:13):
somebody at least that's the wayI look at it to fill the void
that we have to fix on our own.
Speaker 1 (31:18):
And I think a lot of people are afraid to fall in
love.
Right Like, falling in lovetakes time.
Yeah, Everybody wants to fallin love fast and there's a
difference in that.
Right Like, you could havesomebody fill that seat fast,
but to fall in love, that's aprocess and it does take that
discipline that you bring up.
But discipline creates distanceand the wrong person can take
(31:39):
that as counter cyclical and itgoes against the grain versus
the right person is like that'smore attractive to me because I
know that you're focused andyou're healthy and you're
grounded and you're going to beable to bring more value to me
when we are together.
So I can only imagine, likewhat that looks like.
Yeah, but I think you just keepboth of you.
Honestly, this is all just avery healthy conversation and
(32:02):
you're offering some good jewelsaround this.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
Yeah, because I mean, I can't even imagine you dating
someone who like wasn't livinglike a healthy lifestyle and
like working out, because it'slike what?
This sounds bad, but it's likewhat's the value add If you're
adding.
It's like you know.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
It's almost like they're getting free coaching,
yeah, which is unfair to you,right, right.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
I think I've dated a few guys where they were pretty
fit and I was like this is good,because I'll learn how to work
out now, yeah, I don't mindoffering my expertise, but, yeah
, like you said, it's importantto find a partner with shared
values.
Speaker 3 (32:37):
Yeah, and if I feel like I'm just dragging you along
, that's not helping anybody,right, and so, yeah, I mean
definitely, you know, intofitness and into health and that
way we can complement eachother and I don't feel like,
like I said, I'm dragging youalong, so that's super important
.
Speaker 2 (32:54):
Yeah, I mean, I honestly like I'm just so in awe
of you kind of hearing you saythat, as a man that you like
have taken the time to like workon yourself, like I have so
much respect for it, um, causeI've told you this before, I
really look at you as like ahigh value man, someone who's
like really pouring into himselfphysically, mentally,
(33:17):
financially, working on abusiness.
So I'm like you know, if you dostart dating and you're looking
for that person, what kind ofcharacteristics do you look for
in a woman?
Or you know what's inspiring toyou in someone that you're like
looking at dating?
Speaker 3 (33:36):
Yeah, that's a.
That's a great question.
Um, I think, first and foremost, it's just a godly woman, like
a God-bearing woman.
That's super important to me.
I think, um, you know, as I'mgrowing in my relationship with
God, which is, you know,something I take as important,
um, you know, I want my wife tobe too, and that's just going to
trickle the values of how sheum treats me, how she treats our
(33:56):
family, how she treats her kids, how she treats herself, um, so
that's number one.
Uh, number two is family.
Family is important to me, um,and so you know, I definitely
love a woman that prioritizesfamily.
Do you have relatives?
I do have relatives.
Okay, I don't have any siblings, but I have relatives.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
Okay or yeah, I guess sorry siblings, yeah, sorry.
Speaker 2 (34:15):
Are you an only child ?
I am Okay.
Speaker 3 (34:16):
Yeah, I'm adopted by my grandparents.
Speaker 2 (34:19):
Okay, cool.
Speaker 1 (34:20):
He's like you have relatives, you idiot.
Speaker 3 (34:21):
I do have relatives, but no siblings.
That's on me, I'm sorry.
No, no worries, it's still thefamily dynamic, you know.
Especially, I think, as theworld is moving, there's less
importance on family and moreimportance on like self, and you
know, everybody wants to be aboss, and this, that and the
other.
The way that I view things is Iwant my wife and the mother of
(34:43):
my children to put family overeverything, except God, of
course.
You know, shared the my wifeand the mother of my children to
put family over everything,except god, of course.
um, you know shared values wetalked about that.
Um, support is super important.
I mean, entrepreneurship ishard and, as you said,
discipline causes distance.
Um, you know, if she is alwayslooking at me like, oh, you're
not devoted to me enough becauseI'm growing my business, like
(35:06):
that just creates a stress thatI just don't have the room for,
and so it's like I'm doing thisfor us, right, I'm doing this
for us, I'm going to take careof you, I'm going to take care
of our family, I'm going to takecare of everything, but this is
where I'm at in my life rightnow and it's not always going to
.
It's like, you know, you'rejust slowing me down for lack of
(35:28):
better words.
Um, also, I think loyalty isvery important.
I think it's extremelyimportant how your partner
speaks about you in a room thatyou're not in, especially to
their friends, absolutely, and Ithink people overlook that a
little bit because you know, youknow girls and guys, you know
we have a problem in ourrelationship.
(35:49):
We love to go back and tell ourfriends, yeah, I never do it.
I never do it and it's likepeople don't realize that the
damage that's causing becausenow, not only are your friends
looking at your partner likethey're not worth a darn, you
know it's like also creating adistrust.
It's like this is our business.
You know this is ourrelationship.
Let's hash things out Like I'llnever go disrespect my partner
(36:12):
to my friends and I think that'sjust a part of a loyalty piece
is how they're showing up in theroom for you.
You know discipline and thefitness, you know things of that
nature, but you know those arethe main characteristics for me.
Speaker 1 (36:26):
And you bring up a good point there too about like
letting others into yourrelationship, no matter what the
relationship is.
It's like you're opening thedoor of their traumas and their
insecurities and their issues tothen be welcomed into yours,
which is tough.
Like that can affect yourbusiness, that can affect your
dating relationship.
You have to make sure, just howyou're picky about your mentors
(36:49):
that are around you, you got tobe picky about those friends
that are involved in yourrelationship.
You gotta be picky about whatyou expose them to, because not
everybody's gonna forgive asfast as those two partners will
and then they don't forget, yeah, they don't forget, and they're
not.
Speaker 3 (37:02):
They're not seeing the good stuff.
You rarely go back and rave onthem.
Exactly you know you're onlytalking about the bad stuff.
And again, I think there'simportant pieces of friendships.
Like I have my boys and whenI'm going through it, like you
know, I'll talk to my boys.
I think that's super important,but I'm not always bringing in
my partner's business into otherpeople's rooms.
I just don't think that'simportant.
Speaker 1 (37:21):
There's a line.
Speaker 3 (37:22):
There's a line and you know, one more thing that I
would just a little bit ofpolarizing, I think, in today's
world is like I, as alpha male,like I want my partner to be
willing to be led.
Yeah, you know, I want to bethe leader in my relationship.
Speaker 1 (37:40):
You talk about this.
Speaker 3 (37:41):
And I think a lot of times like Western culture is
really driven women to hate menyeah, a lot of times like
Western culture has reallydriven women to hate men, oh
yeah, and I'm not saying thatthat's bad, but there's
definitely a lot of beta malesout there that don't deserve to
be a leader.
So I recognize that and Iempathize for that.
But if a man is showing up andrespects himself and respects
(38:01):
you and shows up every day as analpha man and gets the job done
and can lead and support, um, Ithink that's super important
and um, you know, that's what Ilook for in a partner.
I don't need, you know, anargumentative partner, I need a
collaborative, a collaborativepartner.
Yeah, you know so and yeah, goahead.
Speaker 2 (38:19):
Well, I was at a.
I was at a wedding last nightand they're a beautiful couple
and in his vows he said to hisfuture wife he said I promise to
provide and protect you.
And I thought that was sobeautiful because I mean to me
that's what an alpha male does,right, he will provide and
protect you.
And that's when a woman willfeel safe to submit to you, like
(38:43):
not submit, just, you know, dowhatever.
But like submit and let youlead and be like the CEO of the
family.
And she's more like the COO ishow I look at it More of the
operations you know, with thekids running the home, but to me
the Mel in the relationship isthe leader.
Yeah, and we talk about that allthe time, because I feel like I
(39:06):
have a hard time finding a malethat I want to lead me, because
as a woman, you want someonebetter, faster, stronger, better
, and I'm not saying that I'm sogreat, but it's going to take
someone special for sure.
Because I mean I don't, I don'twant to have children with
someone if they can't providefor a family, and that's why
(39:29):
I've never had children, becausefor me I don't want to outside
of marriage and I would neverhave children unless I knew that
my partner could provide forour family, and it's not like
you know, times get hard.
Someone could lose their job orsomething could happen.
Your finances aren't alwaysgoing to be perfect, but it's
(39:50):
someone that has like the driveand motivation, and we know
together, no matter what you'regonna figure it out we're gonna
figure this shit out togetheryeah, that's healthy so, but I
also feel like I also have aproblem with being really
independent he sees this all thetime, even in our business
relationship for sure so thereis kind of like this female
(40:13):
movement.
Speaker 1 (40:14):
I feel like where we're and I don't think we're
not saying anything negativeabout it.
Speaker 2 (40:18):
It's just like you're bringing up good points I'm
just like I wonder for you, likeboth of you guys, in your
dating experiences, is it hardto find a woman that wants to be
led like?
Are they?
Because I know even myself Ican be like feisty and push back
?
Speaker 1 (40:32):
I think you both bring it up in the right way,
where it's like you ask thequestion correctly and you said
it correctly, where I think thethe western culture is is set up
right now to hate men, um, um,and that's okay.
Like, yeah, I feel that whenyou said that, I feel that, I
feel like.
Speaker 2 (40:51):
I feel like even I I see that message happening in my
own life Like just go get yourown money, go be alone, go do
self love.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
Sit at home with your cat and wear a face mask and
it'll all work out fine and I'mlike, great, I'm going to be 50,
crying myself to sleep everynight because I didn't build a
family and a home and I think,the narrative's not good, it's
not, and with a narrative notbeing good, I think people are
very quick to demonize peoplefor mistakes, rather than the
(41:21):
idea that people are growing,people are learning a hundred
percent and it's a process, it'sa ride, it's a journey, yeah,
and you're not going to beperfect every day, correct.
And there's another thing too.
Again, I feel like you kind ofsay it without saying it.
It's like you know what youknow and you don't know what you
don't know Right.
So until you make that mistake,yes, there may be casualties to
(41:43):
that war at life and somepeople may feel it a little bit
differently than others.
But that doesn't make you thedevil.
It makes you someone who waswrong and you owe an apology or
you got to fix it or grow orbecome better and go on that
journey.
But I do think Western cultureis setting it up where men right
now are just living in thisspace of like.
(42:03):
I fucking hate you.
Speaker 3 (42:06):
And there's so many caveats to this, right, yeah,
and so it is hard I think theanswer to your question.
It is hard it's, it's hard and,like I said, it's a lot of
caveats, like I'm all aboutempowering women right, yeah,
absolutely I can't live withoutthem yeah but like, at the same
time, you know, in this westernculture, they have I'll say the
(42:28):
word tricked women into thinkingthey don't need men yeah and I
just don't think that's true andI'm just being completely
honest, that's what you guyswant it so yeah but it goes both
ways sometimes.
Speaker 1 (42:36):
There's some men right now being tricked that
they think they don't need women, of course, and that's where it
starts like there's a lot ofbeta males out here that think
they're women yeah, yeah Toreally let's talk about that.
Speaker 3 (42:46):
No, it's fair.
And in order for a woman to besubmissive, you gotta be a
leader.
Let's not forget that.
And that's financially, that'sprotecting, that's emotionally
right, that's mentally like.
There's areas of leadershipthat you have to step up and
lead in.
And, like you said, you're ahigh value woman.
You have self-respect foryourself, you show up for
yourself, right, and so whenpicking a partner, like, of
(43:11):
course, you're not going to picka guy who's a slob, who doesn't
show up to for himself, how'she, how's he going to show up
for you if he's not showing upfor himself?
Right, absolutely.
And um, I one other thing islike, like I said, I'm always
going to empower women, for sure, but I think we live in a
culture now it's like where it'sit's teaching women that they
don't need men and that theyshould go out there and they
should have their own, you know,run their own business and have
their own families and do allthis stuff and take it all on
(43:32):
their shoulders.
Um, when, in reality, like ifyou're going to be a slave to
all those things but not submitto your husband, like, where's
that incongruence at?
Yeah, you know, it's likeyou'll submit to all these
things like your job or yourbusiness, or you know whatever
the case may be, but you won'tsubmit to a leader.
Your husband is.
(43:52):
It's an incongruence there forme.
Speaker 1 (43:55):
And I could bring it.
I want to bring it back tosomething you said on the
beginning of the episode.
It's about finding the balance.
You said at the beginning ofthe episode you help people find
the balance of being that datadriven personal trainer.
It seems like almost at thispoint you're a life coach baby,
but you're adding, you areadding high value and I mean
(44:15):
again, think very highly of,like, the information you're
putting out there, the way inwhich this is going to reach the
audience.
But truly, a lot of that doesshow up.
It's the balance stuff.
You know you have to be able tobalance it all because I don't
think it's one man or woman'sresponsibility to do it all
alone.
And I don't care if you like he, she, they, them, this that
(44:37):
whatever you do like it's amatter of partnership.
It's a matter of being fair andeven, and that's not every day.
It's going to be 50, 50,.
Some days it's 60-40.
Some days it's 70-30.
But just fight to get back andget even and be fair to the
other person.
Be like hey, you had my backthose other two days.
Let me show up for you a littlebit more.
Take some time off, yeah.
Speaker 2 (44:57):
Well, I think we need that partnership because
there's so much going on in lifelike trying to provide an
income.
Both work out.
You want to have kids.
Like no one can do this allalone.
Speaker 3 (45:07):
That's impossible.
We're not meant to do it.
No.
Speaker 2 (45:11):
Sometimes I'm like doing my laundry and I'm like
crying because I'm like, look, Iworked so many hours.
I mean, someone just likecooked me a meal tonight.
I'm like something's not righthere and I don't even have kids,
and I mean it's it's not evenjust saying that like you have
kids and like the feminine islike the only one taking care of
(45:31):
them and then the man's outworking.
It's like partnership andeverything Right.
Like if my husband came to meand he was like my cup's 20%
full or I only have 20% today,I'd be like, don't worry, I got
the other 80%.
Speaker 3 (45:42):
Yeah, and I'll add to that.
I think in the partnership it'sthe thing that really separates
.
It is like the attitude thatyou bring to it of like wanting
to.
Yeah, I want to go out of myway to this, I want to bless my
tail for my wife.
Same with the wife or ourpartner.
It's like I want to take careand make sure my husband's happy
and it's a decision every daydecision and and there's it's.
(46:05):
You know, different partners gotto find pride in that right.
Like I like find joy and thesacrifice that I have to make
for my partner and I think noteverybody has that viewpoint
anymore it's like, well, whyshould I do this?
What did you do for me?
And that's just very unhealthyin a relationship.
It's like you're only.
That's unconditional, like true, conditional love.
(46:25):
I'm doing this, despiteanything else, because I
actually love you and I actuallycare about you and I actually
want to see the best in you, andso I'm willing to go make the
sacrifices that I need to maketo better your life over mine.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (46:37):
And yeah, I don't even want to verb it any other
way.
Speaker 2 (46:48):
That's so good.
I mean, I really think theright person will like motivate
you to show up as an even betterversion of yourself, like
there's even been people I'vedated that were like so
inspiring to me that I startedpushing harder at my own life
because I was like, wow, look atwhat this person's doing like
as you're around them yeah,because I was around them, I was
like I can step it up furtherwith what I'm doing and that's
like I want to be with a man whoinspires me and motivates me
and within that partnership, youknow, and I can't see like what
(47:12):
you're saying, I can't see youwith anyone.
that wouldn't be that way.
Speaker 1 (47:15):
So y'all are bringing up some, some good, thoughtful
stuff, but I want some juicyshit.
Like what's your?
Uh, what's your?
What's your worst date?
I want your worst dating storyCause, like there's got again,
there's got again.
This is like you're motivatedfor a reason, like there's got
to be something that was likethis, this traumatic thing.
Speaker 3 (47:33):
I was like I'm good yeah, yeah, I should be careful
how.
The first thing that comes tomind is like I was catfished one
time and I want to berespectful, but there's a
disrespect in like portrayingsomeone you're not Someone,
(47:53):
you're not Someone, you're not,and so I remember it, I remember
it vividly.
I was like, wow, Like I justgot catfished.
But I'll be honest, Like youknow, I had a serious girlfriend
for an extended know, anextended amount of time
post-college, and so that waslike my only like legit, you
know, girlfriend.
Awesome, For the most part, I'vekind of dated here and there,
but I think that whatapprehended or caused the
(48:18):
relationship not to work ismyself and like I was talking
about, like there were somethings that I needed to work on,
and so I've been constantlygrowing myself to kind of fill
(48:48):
these voids, um, especiallyaround like the emotional aspect
.
I feel like, um, you know, Igenuine connection and so, like
I said, I'm like slowly startingto open the door um to that
world as I start to, you know,have that inner healing of
myself, and so nothing likesuper, super duper juicy.
Um, but you know, it's, it's,it's a journey.
Speaker 1 (49:02):
I think at the end of the day it's it's still
something that you were like.
Sitting in that moment, you'relike I'm being catfished Like
that third eye, that bird's eyeview, as you're sitting in that
moment.
Like that's it's crazy, I'msure I was mad.
Speaker 3 (49:16):
I brought it up.
I was like I don't want to berude, but like I don't know.
It was like bad, like it waslike indistinguishable.
Sometimes you're like oof, butthis was like whoa.
Speaker 1 (49:29):
In those moments, too , it makes you realize what in
the world would motivatesomebody to want to do that.
It's not like they're not goingto get caught.
Speaker 3 (49:38):
For sure, for sure, and also it's again like Because
they still wanted to meet upwith you.
Speaker 2 (49:43):
Yeah, I don't know what's going on.
Yeah and has, because theystill wanted to meet up with you
.
Speaker 3 (49:45):
Yeah, I don't know what's going on.
Has the separate worked?
Yes, like reaffirmed what youwere doing.
Speaker 2 (49:49):
They were trying to get on that show.
Speaker 1 (49:51):
Yeah, that fish show Maybe, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (49:55):
But I love what you were talking about in terms of
your emotional intelligence.
Yeah, as a man, that's sobeautiful that you're so
self-aware about that, because Imean, I've done, I've tried to
understand the differencebetween men and women so many
times because I do think wefunction in so many different
ways.
Have you ever heard of thatbook, like why men are from Mars
(50:16):
and women are from Venus?
Speaker 1 (50:18):
I've heard of it never, oh my god, I think it was
written like 20 years ago.
Speaker 2 (50:21):
I was like this doesn't make any sense.
The only thing I got out of itis we're from two fucking
different planets, you know, butwe do like communicate in such
different ways.
Speaker 1 (50:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (50:32):
Where women can be like so emotional and so clingy,
and then I'm just talking formyself, you know, like I know I
can be a ball of emotions.
And then with guys I'm dating,I'm like, why am I not?
We just function so differentand we have to understand that,
you know.
Speaker 1 (50:50):
No, it doesn't make you wrong either.
Speaker 2 (50:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (50:52):
Like it doesn't.
I think those are like journeythings.
Speaker 2 (50:55):
Yeah, Moments Well, being able to receive love too.
That's not an easy thing.
Speaker 3 (51:02):
You hit the nail on the head with that one, and
that's you know.
Really, what I'm working on islike just receiving yeah, yeah.
I feel like I have to go do itall myself, um, and I think that
closes a lot of doors to a lotof good things, like in my
relationships, in business, inlife.
Is that not the willingness toreceive?
And I think, um, that's justsuper important and that's funny
.
You brought that up.
Speaker 2 (51:20):
That's something I'm definitely yeah, well, I think
sometimes when you let go alittle bit not not doing the
work, but when you let go alittle and soften a little, like
good things come to you, youknow, and we we can receive
those things in that moment.
But it's hard when you're sodisciplined to let go and accept
that I think you know?
Speaker 3 (51:39):
yeah, I mean, I think it's men were inherently wanted
to be like in control of allthings.
Yes, I think there is time toyou know, release and, and you
know, receive that love for sure.
Speaker 1 (51:50):
I think too, is like I just want to really protect
the idea that you run a business.
You are giving out some reallygood Jewels here.
I'm like I'm ready, I'm seriousready, I feel like in like five
years from now.
Yeah, I'm gonna go to a TEDtalk here I'm like, I'm ready,
I'm serious, I'm ready.
Speaker 3 (52:00):
I feel like in like five years from now I'm
literally gonna go to a ted talkand I'm like I was your number
one.
We'll run this back and forth.
It'd be fun to see what's aboutthat.
Speaker 1 (52:09):
I want to definitely protect it because people are
getting some good stuff out ofthis episode one.
Speaker 3 (52:15):
But like even me, like just sitting here being a
co-host right, he's so inspiring, yeah, I just want to like to
that it's like this is justcoming just from myself and my
personal experience.
For sure, all with love, yeah.
Speaker 1 (52:27):
But you can feel it Like we're seeing it and we feel
it.
I hope the audience does aswell.
Speaker 3 (52:32):
Yeah, 100%, and I'm not saying this way, or the
highway, or you have to do this.
This my experience, this iswhere I'm at in life.
Things could be different infive years, but this is the
viewpoint that I'm viewing inlife right now and, um, I think
authenticity and ingenuity is,um, something I value a lot and
like, if I, this is just whatyou're going to get, what you
get, what I say is what you'regoing to get.
(52:52):
And so I just, you know, toeverybody out there, like I have
like some polarizing opinionsand you know, I think it should
be this way or that way.
Like that's your life andthat's the beauty of life is
that you get to construct it anyway you would like.
Absolutely, this is just howI'm constructing my life, and I
think, um the more that we'regenuine, authentic to ourselves,
we can attract people thatshare those same values, and
(53:14):
that's beautiful.
And, yeah, all, uh, welcome toour own opinions.
That's, that's the beauty oflife.
Speaker 1 (53:21):
Well, I want to make sure, too, we give you that safe
stage to ask just our truequestion.
We want to make sure everybodyhas a safe stage to answer.
What do you feel or what hasbeen brought to your attention
or what would you like toclarify on of like, what's your
biggest misconception about you?
Speaker 3 (53:36):
Yeah, yeah, it's funny because I was teed up for
this one.
So I asked one of my, one of myhomegirls, I asked a couple of
them.
They all had the same response.
Speaker 2 (53:46):
I love it I love this .
Speaker 3 (53:48):
Where is she at?
She said.
To be honest, I think thatpeople assume you're a typical
player awesome douche guy, yeah,if you know what I mean.
But in reality you're one ofthe most intentional and genuine
friends I've ever had.
so that's awesome, so beautiful,that's very sweet I think that
just the confidence and the aurathat I give off when I walk
into the room, I'm very like,confident in myself.
Um, it can be a littledemeaning for lack of better
(54:11):
words to to the people around me, but at the end of the day,
like um, I I love, I love hardand I care nothing but the best
for people and and I wantnothing for the best of people.
I hear you.
I think it's important to havea backbone and be secure in what
you believe, but at the end ofthe day, I just want to love
(54:34):
hard.
And so a lot of misconceptionswhen people first meet me is I'm
just a typical Austin douche,but it takes some time to get to
know me.
Speaker 1 (54:40):
You got some light-skinned struggles, my man.
I'm thinking a typical Austindouche, but it takes some time
to get to know me.
You got some light-skinnedstruggles, my man.
Speaker 2 (54:43):
I mean, I'm thinking that too, though, because I'm
like, hey, yeah, like Brian'slike a good-looking guy, it
makes sense, with like theAustin dating scene, that people
would be like perceiving youthat way.
I actually had one of mygirlfriends.
She was like do you know thisguy?
And it was you.
Like uh-oh she was like I foundhim, he's cute, and I was like
I don't know, I'll shoot yourshot.
Speaker 1 (55:04):
Dude, I'll be backing you up the whole way.
Yeah, for sure, for sure.
Speaker 2 (55:09):
So we'll close it out .
But before we close it out, wewant people to be able to follow
, like the great content you'reputting out when can people
stalk your social stuff oninstagram?
Speaker 3 (55:25):
are you most respectful stalking?
We say respectful, no, stalk onhit heart on every video uh
it's brian pollard fitness, andthat's brian with a y
b-r-o-y-a-n pollard fitness, um,and that's across the board um
are you on tiktok?
I'm on tiktok.
Speaker 2 (55:38):
Okay, awesome I'm trying, trying to learn TikTok.
I feel like I'm like amillennial that still doesn't
know what to do.
Speaker 1 (55:43):
It's scary.
It's like do we invest time inTikTok now that it just got
banned?
Like what's the story right now?
It's hard.
Speaker 3 (55:50):
It's hard and I'm definitely not on top of TikTok
as I should be.
I think it's a great platformto get your word out.
Like you can go from zero viewsto a million views just on one
video For sure, whereas, like,instagram works more in an
algorithm.
Yeah, so I think it's a greattool.
I haven't quite figured it out,but it's also a lot of good
information on TikTok.
(56:10):
Oh yeah, people want to ban itand I think there's probably
some good reason around, likewhy, why?
But I don't know if a completeban is a great thing because
there is a lot of goodinformation and resource out
there.
But that's probably aconversation for another day.
Speaker 1 (56:23):
Yeah, I agree.
Well, we want to make sureeverybody comes back to the next
episode.
It was a pleasure to have you,man Brian.
You're a dope dude.
Cass, thank you so much foraligning somebody in your
network and community to come.
Speaker 2 (56:38):
I feel like I'm like fangirl over here.
On this one too, I'm like thewisdom you're spitting out.
Speaker 1 (56:41):
I was like this is so cool.
Speaker 2 (56:42):
Yeah, you're just so authentically yourself, and
that's what I love andappreciate about you, and the
fact that you're sharing thatwith the world your routines and
your habits is just soinspiring.
And so then we always closethis out like the cheesiest way
ever.
Speaker 1 (56:59):
Come back next week, because you know what's going
down.
Speaker 2 (57:03):
In the lobby.
Woo, that was so good.
Thank you.
My man is clean, clean, no no, no, I knew Brian
was going to come, dressed sonice and I'm like literally in a
Barbie t-shirt from Target.
I was like this is notacceptable.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
I did Uber, or well, I did Urban Outfitters, and then
in my Uber I'm like I don'tknow if I really like this shirt
.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
I like that shirt.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Urban has got something now and your artwork.
Oh man, I'm an addict for mathand this is like connected to
some like ancient geometry stuffand I promise you I'll nerd out
if you ask me too manyquestions I told brian.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
I told brian, though I was like he's gotta look nice
because this personal brand thathe's been building oh yeah so
like it's just so gq like yeaheverything that you're doing,
and I don't even know if, ifRoger knows this, but my
original podcast I had maybe ayear ago.
I took you to coffee, went to goget coffee and I was like I
(00:54):
really want you to come on mypodcast and it didn't end up
happening.
But you've always been someonewho believed in me and supported
me and I think right after Ileft coffee with you, I went and
recorded like a solo episodemotivated oh my god he pushed me
to go do it, and then I did thesolo episode and it was so
(01:17):
scary that's awesome.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
I mean, that's what, that's how you grow.
You know, it's kind of steppingout of the zone and just doing
the hard things and, um, youknow, I feel like we put a lot
of pressure on ourselves to, youknow, be perfect or the ideal
version of ourselves, but sureyou only get there through reps.
Yeah, so you know, go shoot thesolo podcast, so what you know.
If it sucks, like, keep itmoving, go do another one, go do
(01:39):
another one, like that's thesame with content, like we were
just talking about earlier.
It's like, like you know, it'slike, oh, your content is good.
Well, I don't think it's goodcompared to a lot of people that
I look to, of course, but youknow, it's a lot better than
when I started, and the only wayI got better is just doing reps
after reps after reps and likeI think also a lot of times we
think that people are payingattention to us more than they
really are, and that's what Ikind of try to remind myself,
(02:01):
like I value myself, but I'm notas important as I think I am.
And, like you know, especiallyin this fast-paced world where
it's just like so much attentionand people have attention spans
of like four to five seconds,it's like they notice you for a
second and then they forgetabout you, and so it's like,
just go out there, do your thing, put in the reps, get better,
do it for yourself and, you know, start to progress over time.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
You could tell it's genuine.
I feel like I'm I'm motivated,yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
I was just talking to him before we hit record
because I was like he's not justlike putting these videos out
and being like motivating likehe's practicing what he's
preaching, and it's so cool tosee just kind of how your career
has transitioned, because whenI first met with you you were
still kind of going really hardin the real estate game and now
(02:48):
you've put a little bit morefocus on this like personal
coaching, fitness coaching, andso I've got to kick it off with
the intro.
We've got to welcome BrianPollard to In the Lobby podcast.
You're a data driven fitnesscoach which I was giving him a
hard time.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
I want to know what this means yeah, yeah, for sure.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
Well, yeah, thank you guys both having me.
I'm excited to be here, youknow, to kind of touch on the
coaching business part.
Yeah, it's a health data drivenfitness coaching program and
you know my word for this yearand when I was really starting
this business, is optimization,yeah, and really just becoming a
better person holistically andbecoming the most optimized
(03:33):
versions of ourselves.
And this is really where theessence of it all started and
you know I was telling her.
You know the ideal clientavatar for me is like business
owners and when you're running abusiness, it's all data driven
right.
And I feel like for a lot of thefitness industry with coaches
and this is no jab at them, Imean I'm supporting anyone who's
(03:53):
out there to help other peopleget better, for sure, but I feel
like it's a guessing game and Iwant to kind of take the
guesswork out of the picture.
And so the way we do things is,you know, first we have blood
work and then we use wearabletechnology like whoops and or
rings and things of that natureto continuously optimize,
because that allows us to see,like, where you are specifically
(04:16):
, Because if you think about itlike, let's say, you have two
people the same gender, the sameage, the same height, the same
weight, with the same goals,nine times out of 10.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
Same thing is not going to work for all three.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
It's not going to work right.
But a coach is going to giveyou the same workout nutrition
plan and then you're going to gothrough it for a couple of
weeks and then they're going tosay, okay, well, I see you're
not losing as much weight as youthought you could.
So let's try to guess and makesome changes on this side.
But if I come to to you andlike I'm looking at your blood
work 48 different biomarkersdown to the DNA I'm looking at
(04:47):
your you know technology as faras, like your sleep, your strain
, your recovery, your heart rate, all these different metrics
Then I can really dive in andsee what the heck is going on
and make the proper adjustments,you know, based off of that.
And that's kind of where it allcame from, and it's it's a work
in progress.
With any business, you know,it's figuring out what works and
what doesn't.
But at least with the way thatI'm doing it, I'm able to get an
(05:09):
individualized picture on eachclient to make the best decision
moving forward.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
I mean data is important and for you to go
against the grain or status quoof what people are doing in the
fitness industry.
I'm sure that that's hard inits own respect, right, yeah,
but you could tell again.
You hear that passion that youhave.
You hear the investment thatyou have into not only just what
you're doing, but these arepeople's lives.
Like you're messing with theirblood work, you're messing with
their sleep.
You are really tracking andtaking a look at these things to
(05:35):
make, like, appropriatedecisions for them to adjust
their life to be a better person, right?
Speaker 3 (05:40):
so you, you hear that and that's that's cool,
honestly and it all started with, like, my personal
transformation and it's likeI've been on a six-year journey
of this and you know, taking itback to my la days, like I'm
from virginia born and raised.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
But I hear that sigh.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
Once you offer that side the six-year journey,
you're like it's, it's hard man,it's super hard man, it's super
hard, but I was very lost, yeah, in la, you know, just to be
transparent with you guys, and Ihear you it's like deep, deep,
deep in a dark hole and I'm likehow can I get out?
And the only thing that I knewwas like fitness and, like I
said, it's been an up and downjourney for the last six years
but we're trending upwards forsure and, um, you know, like I
(06:17):
said, bringing it back, it'slike I just want to become
optimized.
You know, like a lot of peoplewas like, oh, let's lose 30
pounds in 30 days.
Or you know, let's do this andthat, and for me, it's like I
just want to be a better personoverall.
Yeah, and that's mentally,physically, emotionally, like,
um, in business and ourrelationships, and like really
just optimize ourselves.
And you know, I always tell myfriends like we got this one
(06:39):
life, like let's just, let'smaximize it to the absolute
maximum.
You know it's like and the onlyway that we can actually
maximize our life is by beinghealthy.
Yeah, and taking our fitnessserious and like caring about
ourselves and that's.
You know I feel like, uh, youknow, fitness is one of the best
forms of like self-respect whenyou really take care of your
(07:00):
bodies and, um, you know, also,like I see these people, you
know, like that have thesefamilies and like I would do
anything for my kids, you know Iwould do anything for my family
, yeah, but will you go to thegym?
You know, will you get healthy?
And this is not taking a job,this is not negative, this is
just reality.
Yeah, let's really like take alook like what would you really
do for your family?
And, um, you know, I'mfortunate enough to have found
(07:22):
this purpose and passion in thefitness industry and I'm excited
for the future and this is likesomething I'll do for the next
60 years of my life.
And you know, we're slowlystarting and I'm excited to see
where it goes.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
And I think me being on my journey.
You say something that I reallyI would hope it sounds like
either you're already saying itor if there's a way you can try
to like package it in your ownway, because you say it's so
like in such a healthy way.
It's like comparison is a thiefof joy 100 and you're really
like being intentional in eachconversation, in each effort and
(07:54):
each thing you're doing andit's it's remarkable, it's
admirable.
Honestly, thank you.
So it is very honestly likeit's a pleasure to meet you, um,
and also to see anothergentleman of color on the
journey and doing, doing yourthing and and multiple different
uh, arenas and avenues of work,like it's truly an exciting
time to have you on the podcastyeah, thank you, and I'll speak
(08:15):
on that comparison thing.
Speaker 3 (08:16):
I think, absolutely, it's the, it's the thief of joy
and yeah, it's just so prevalentin our dna.
Everything, man, it'severything.
I mean I catch myself dailycomparing it but at the end of
the day, like everybody's ontheir own journey, and that's,
you can almost take pride inthat.
Yeah, and that takes some ofthe pressure off.
And on this comparison thing,you know I got a couple thoughts
.
Is, you know, we're always, youknow, not necessarily in
(08:42):
comparison, but just on thegrowth in life, is that we're
always looking.
Once we get here, then we'll behappy, sure, right, and that
can be with comparison, like ifI was just like this guy, if I
just had his talents, if I justhad his hair right, if I just
had his height, or, for women,especially if I just look like
her, this, that and the other,we're always like if I was here,
then I will be happy, right.
And that's just such a toxicthing to you know, bring on
(09:05):
yourself, there's so muchpressure in that.
And if we can alleviate that by, for example, a lot of people,
they don't want a milliondollars.
They want the feeling that theythink a million dollars is going
to bring them.
They don't care about being six, four or good, or having blonde
hair, blue eyes.
They just think that thatfeeling is going to make them
happier.
So if we can walk in that spaceand that feeling of what we
(09:27):
think that thing is going tobring us, it takes the pressure
off.
And so that's what I've reallybeen learning over the last six
months.
I wake up every day I feel likeI'm the most successful, bad to
the bone fitness coach, changingpeople's lives, optimizing
people's lives, running abusiness that's service first.
That's really getting results.
That's caring about the people.
I'm an amazing husband.
(09:48):
I'm an amazing father.
I have great friends.
I'm a great friend and I livein that moment, despite it all
having played out yet.
And that takes the pressure offand that's all I can do because
I feel it.
I feel it to the core Like I'mthere right and Like I'm I'm
there Right, and it's just notup to me to say how or when that
happens, but it's up to me tohave that feeling before it
happens.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
Well, I'll tell you, the audience is infectious, like
I'm, like I hear you Can.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
I attend it.
But also you just made me thinkof a conversation I had with my
mom today, and I'm sure thisprobably gets brought up with.
Like your female clients, doyou know what Ozempic is?
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
Yeah, so it's like I work out all the time, like I'm
eating healthy, and I was likelooking at like some of the
celebrities who have like lost alot of weight recently.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
Taking Ozempic.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Yes, and then you start getting in your own head
of like, comparison, right, likeI'm like, maybe I should take
that Like I want to look likethem, and it's such a thief of
joy, so you just reiteratingthat to me, I'm like.
That just meant so much to me,just hearing that come out of
your mouth, you know so yeah andwe were talking about too, like
how different it looks being afitness coach with, like, female
(10:59):
clients versus male clients,and just like their bodies are
so different, hormones are sodifferent, and you were saying
that maybe sometimes your femaleclients are a little bit easier
to train than your male clients.
Yeah, why is that?
Speaker 3 (11:16):
yeah, I would.
I definitely agree it's.
It's a very different spectrum.
Um, and I don't know the wordto, but, selfishly, I would
prefer to work with men, simplybecause I don't feel
authoritative enough to speak ona woman's behalf because I'm
not in her body.
I hear you, man, I don't gothrough those things.
That doesn't mean I can't learn.
Do the research, talk to women,you know, become educated in
(11:38):
the, in the space, especiallyaround hormones and cycles and
so forth.
Um, but yeah, well, like wewere saying earlier, you know it
is a different dynamic withwith men and women, and I have
probably split, split, halffemale, half male clients at
this point.
And you know my female clients,brittley is one of them and
she's just absolutely amazing.
(11:58):
She shows up to work, she askedthe right questions, she said
what can I do?
I say this is what we got to do, like this is a nine month, 12
month journey for you For sure,setting the expectations.
She's like, okay, you know,like I'll just follow the script
, and that's what we call it.
You just follow the script, orfollow the recipe, right, and
(12:21):
you know it's no bash on men,for sure, and I think you know,
not in a negative space, but alittle bit of ego gets involved.
You got to play it.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
You know, and.
Speaker 3 (12:31):
I get it, I get it and you know, like I work with
some dogs and they want to bedogs and it's just a balancing
act, Right.
And you know, as I'm buildingthis business, I'm really like
seeing who I like to work withmost and who I don't like to
work with most, so I can reallyniche down and be like this is a
specific person I want to workwith every day and just grow in
that.
And I think that's really wheregrowth comes in businesses for,
(13:02):
like riches are in the nichesis what they say.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
And, um, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm playing it out
relationship, that one, it seemsvery, very healthy and
motivating.
And I'm outside looking in andI'm just like this dude's got me
pumped up.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
I know right, so motivating.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
Yes, it is a very positive experience.
But where are you from?
Where's home?
Because you said, virginia, I'man East Coast guy myself.
And then what got you intofitness?
Yeah, because, like I, I hearwhere you are present present
day.
The six year journey to getthere, that's not easy, right,
and it's a, it's a work inprogress.
Every day you're waking up withthat mind state that the, the
(13:38):
riches, are in the niches.
That's dope.
I like that.
I don't know if I've heard itthat way, but I like that and
I'm going to steal that For sure.
But I do need to understand,like for you to be so connected
on this, like this level ofjourney for other people too,
right, like what got you soconnected and focusing on
fitness?
Speaker 3 (13:56):
Yeah, that's a great question and I think it's just
been the evolution of like lifeand, you know, I wish I could
well, I can't pinpoint a couplelife-changing moments that
really pushed it down, but Ithink it's, you know, from the
time I grew up.
I'm from Lynchburg, virginia, alittle small country town, and
I think that, um, you know, alot of my friends and family are
still there and I love them todeath, but I was always the type
(14:17):
like I got to get out.
There's just so much more inlife and that's just what I want
to really preach to people.
It's just so much out there, wehave this one little life and
like we all think like we'regoing to live till we're 80, 90,
100 years old and that's justlike very selfish to think that
we're afforded that much time.
And it's you know I'm sayingthis in a positive manner it's
like let's really take advantageof the time that we do have and
(14:39):
make the biggest change that wecan have.
And I think that starts withourselves.
Like how can you pour intoother people if you don't fill
your cup up first?
Yeah, right, and so I playedsports my whole life growing up.
I unfortunately got hurt playingfootball my junior year of high
school, so that ended anycollegiate activities, yeah, and
so I was in the fitness.
You know the knee was botheringme, so I wasn't.
(15:01):
Yeah, I'm surprised.
I, the knee was bothering me,so I wasn't.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
I'm surprised.
I thought you played somecollege football.
You got quite the build on you,yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:07):
I wish, but I'm also grateful for the path that I did
take, for sure, for sure.
And so, you know, college, Iworked out a little bit here and
there, and then my senior year,I was just really focused on
school.
I wasn't at the gym, I was, youknow, not confident in myself
and my body.
I body, I wasn't as healthy asI know I could be.
I moved to LA for a girl at thetime and I get caught up in the
party scene.
(15:27):
I'm just partying every weekendand going through the motions.
Like I said, I was just in thisdeep dark hole and it got to a
point where I have a picture andI think it's probably on my
Instagram somewhere.
It's like the side by side, andI took the picture and it was
on Snapchat.
Back when people use SnapchatSure, I don't really use it
anymore, but, um, the title wasday one and I was like I woke up
(15:48):
.
I was just sick of being inthat space, mediocre.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:53):
Really just just just sick of like not taking
advantage of this beautiful,like life that God has given me,
Right.
And so I was like this is dayone and from that day, like I
said, it's been a been a rollercoaster.
Of course, I think success isnot linear.
It's definitely definitely hassome, some highs and lows, but
from that day forward I justmade up in my mind, like from
this day forward, like I'm goingto prioritize, you know, my
(16:14):
health and my fitness, so that Ican bring into this world the
most that I physically andemotionally can.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
And so that's kind of really where it all started for
me and emotionally can, and sothat's kind of really where it
all started for me, and then Idon't even mean to ask too much
because I feel like I'm just soexcited to one thank you for the
introduction and you being hereon the episode.
But now I'm like do you explainthat story every time you get a
new client?
Speaker 3 (16:37):
or do they even care to ask, or do they just they get
that experience right, like uh,not every time I've been
reluctant to be as like uh,what's the word I'm looking for?
Vocal, yeah, open or?
because it can be intimidatingit is intimidating and it's like
a man.
It's like a little bitembarrassing, I would say, to
say that I was never, likealways at the top of my game,
(17:00):
yeah, but I think a lot ofpeople can relate to it and
that's really what inspires metoday is just help the Brian
from a year ago, six months ago,from six years ago, right, and
I feel like you know, like inorder to be a leader, you just
have to be one step ahead of theperson you're leading, yeah,
and so all I'm doing is takingthe skills and the mindset and
(17:21):
the things that I've learnedover this last six years of
what's worked for me, whathasn't worked for me, and I'm
just handing it on a plate to myclients and I'm like this is
what I know, this is what'sworked for me and Got me this
far.
Yeah, it's got me this far andI'm still working, I'm still
making progress, but as I grow,you're gonna grow with me, right
, and we're gonna.
A lot of it comes to, like ourmentality, and that's really
(17:42):
what I've been focusing on most,like recently, like I've been
at the top of my fitness gamebut like still had a weak mind
and so like I'm just reallytrying to strengthen the mind so
much that you almost becomeunbreakable and you know that's.
You know I'm sure you're goingto ask about this later, but
that's kind of where the 12marathons and 12 months you know
came from, you know came fromis like, what goal can I set for
(18:08):
myself?
That is so big and so scarythat I have to practice day in,
day in, week in, week out, monthin, month out for 12 months.
Right, if I can do this for 12months and then succeed at the
end of the year, it's impossiblefor me to not have the mental
fortitude but also theself-confidence in myself that I
can do anything.
I put my mind to right, becauseself-confidence doesn't come
from standing in the mirror andsaying affirmations to yourself
or writing in your journal yourgratitude all that stuff's
(18:30):
important From betting onyourself, yeah, but it's making
promises and then keeping themto ourselves.
How many times do we say thatwe're going to do something and
then don't do it, like evenlittle things?
Like I'm going to go to the gymtoday and then you don't go,
and then that's subconsciouslyprogramming you to say, you know
, it's okay to lie to yourself,I'm going to read this book.
We get halfway through and quit, you know.
And so to make a goal, like forme, like that was that
(18:53):
intensive for that amount oftime, I think you know, when I
get to the end of the year, likeI'll be really like
self-confident and proud ofmyself, that like, like I really
can do anything, and that'sjust going to reflect again in
my business and my relationshipsand how I can serve my clients
and friends.
That's awesome.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
I always talk about that because, as you were saying
, life, life goes by so fast,right, and it's like if you're
showing up every day beingconsistent, it's like all of a
sudden you'll wake up and you'llhave achieved your goals
because you were so consistent,you know along the way.
So it's so, and I thinkhonestly, brian, why I resonated
(19:28):
with you so much when I firstmet you was you were telling me
about your experiences in LA andthat you hadn't always been at
the top and you'd worked hard tobecome this version of yourself
, and I think so many people canrelate to that, because there's
been so many times I'm in thesedark depths of my own life and
(19:49):
I think, for me personally, theone thing that's always pulled
me out is like fitness, becauseanytime I get in the gym, I
watch my mental health shift somuch and I know you're in the
gym, yeah, every day every day.
I can't go without it yeah, Ihonestly have a hard time
understanding how peoplefunction without working out at
(20:11):
all, you know, because I feellike it affects your mental
health so much.
So, yeah, and I feel like justeverything you're doing for your
clients you're reallyadvocating for both male and
females mental health, healthand their, like, fitness journey
.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
Yeah, and I think like people don't realize, like
just you getting up and again,like making that commitment to
yourself, I'm going to go to thegym and just going there.
You may not have to have likethe most elitist workout, but
just getting there that means somuch to your day, so much to
your circadian rhythm.
Speaker 3 (20:45):
It's incredible.
And not to cut you off, no yeah.
It's like that's what I preach.
It's like we just have to startStart.
Yeah, really, you just have tostart.
And this, like for me, like I'mso grateful for my friends and
my mentors, it's like even forthe business, it was paralysis
analysis, like, like, just takethe first step with content,
just post the first post.
Right, like Mr Beast, he's thebest content creator ever.
(21:07):
It's insane.
And he's like you can't evenjudge your content until you
have a thousand posts.
Right, you might not feel likegoing to the gym, but get up and
just drive to the gym, walk inthere, take a lap stretch and
then come home, but just gettingthat in that motion.
But, like you said, fitnessdefinitely, uh, helps you
mentally.
I mean, it releases endorphinsand there's so many benefits to
to fitness.
And, um, you were sayingsomething earlier I wanted to
(21:27):
allude to, but, um, you know,just creating that discipline,
like there's so much freedom anddiscipline, right, people think
that discipline restricts you.
Discipline creates that freedombecause you're no longer uh,
you know, for lack of betterwords a slave to your, to your
desires and your and your wants.
Right, you're no longer, youknow, for lack of better words a
slave to your, to your desiresand your and your wants, right?
You're no longer just a victimof every little thing, right?
(21:50):
You just don't give in toeverything.
Right?
If you want more time, you haveto have more time discipline,
more time management.
If you want more, betterresults in the gym, you have to
have more discipline.
If you want more financialsuccess, you have to have more
discipline with your finances.
Just, they just go hand in hand, freedom and discipline.
And one more thing I'll add isyou know, in the world of
(22:11):
fitness and just in life, like Ialways encourage people to do
hard stuff, right, and I waslistening to an Andrew Huberman
podcast it was with DavidGoggins and I'm not a
neuroscientist, but he wasexplaining that there's these
studies that have been donewhere there's a part in your
brain that is responsible forwillpower, sure, and the way
(22:31):
that it grows is neuroplastic orhowever, the neuroplasticity
neuroplasticity so it can growand it can shrink, and the way
to grow it is to wake up and dohard stuff.
Now, this is like that can looklike anything to anybody.
That can be just going to thegym and doing a 10 minute
workout, or it can be running amarathon every month Right, but
doing those hard things over andover and over again.
(22:54):
He says that increases yourwillpower or, better yet, your
will to live.
That's awesome.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
Yeah, that's awesome.
I think a lot of times like wealmost are so comfortable
sitting in complacency and it'slike doing anything that's hard
and is going to move you towardsyour goals is going to be a
little bit uncomfortable yeahand it's so easy just to like
sit at home on your sofa with athrow blanket and be comfy, cozy
.
It's really uncomfortable to getup at 5 am when it's cold
(23:21):
outside and go to the gym, andso I was telling Roger this the
other day because cause we'vebeen really busy working on the
podcast and I'll get reallystressed.
And I'll tell him.
This is good, though, becausewe're not sitting on in our
comfort zones any longer.
When you're stressed anduncomfortable, it's usually
cause you're pushing yourselftowards something, and I mean I
(23:42):
see your posts like you're up atthe crack of dawn, so I can
only think that you have like aset of routines, probably like a
morning routine.
I don't know if you have anevening routine, but I want to
know what someone like you, whatyour day looks like when you
first get out of bed.
Speaker 3 (23:59):
Yeah, yeah, of course it's pretty systematic.
For me at this point in my lifeit's almost the same day every
day.
But yeah, we wake up, you know,first thing I do is pray Um,
that's super important to me.
And then I practice some breathwork 60 seconds, um, which
really just gets the uh, youknow, your, your nervous system
(24:20):
regulated Right.
And then, um, and then we startthe day.
You know, uh, some meditation,with work, along with the breath
work and really just framingthe mind.
How long do you meditate?
Again, you know, five, tenminutes, it kind of just depends
.
So I actually have a breathwork coach, brittley, one of my
clients.
So, she sends me a breath workslash, meditation, self-guided.
(24:43):
That's awesome, and so you knowjust getting my head in that
space, because a lot of theactions that we do like are
funded by our subconscious right.
And what I used to do and whatreally was a disadvantage for
myself is I'd wake up and firstthing I would do is get on my
phone.
Oh yeah, that's where thatcomparison comes in.
Yeah, and it just, it's just theeasiest way to like not have a
(25:07):
good day, because you're alreadyfirst thing in the morning and
you're, and you're rushing Right, and you're just getting that
little dopamine hit like everytwo seconds, scrolling and
scrolling and scrolling, andthen your whole day goes through
that.
You feel like you're behind,you feel like you're rushed, you
feel like you're not doingenough and all these negative
connotations come with that, andso what I've done is like no
phone for the first hour.
(25:28):
When I wake up, you know, I,like I said, I wake up, I pray,
I do my breath work, I do mymeditation, I take a cold shower
, you know, I stretch, get mybody moving and then I start my
day.
Speaker 2 (25:33):
I think the hardest thing, too, is when you do that
people can take you as rude andyou're like wait, I'm not being
rude, like I'm like I just Inever answer my phone until
after 10 am.
I think they respect it Ahundred percent.
Speaker 3 (25:50):
People feel like with these phones is that they have
automatic access to you.
Absolutely not I tell myclients, like you got 24-7
access to me, right, but there'sboundaries to it, you know, and
I'll get to the message when Iget to it, the message when I
get to it.
There's nothing that pressingin my life or other people's
lives that I can't wait an hour,right.
And if it can't call me, right,we can address that.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
And it's not like I'm going to ignore anybody, like
I'm going to.
We're all going to do our bestfor each other.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
Some people are so annoying, They'll like hit the
question mark.
They'll hit the exclamation.
I'm like can you give me likefive minutes?
Speaker 3 (26:23):
yeah, yeah, and it's, it's, it's you know, it's sad,
but it's you know.
Again it comes back to thephones.
It's just people think that theycan have yeah access to you and
that really like takes awayfrom how you're able to show up
for other people.
You know, if you're just givingeverybody your unlimited
attention and access to you, itjust really clouds like how
(26:43):
you're able to, um, carryyourself and, you know, pour
into other people.
And then for the night routine,again, no phone an hour before
bed.
And one thing I ask myselfevery night is what went well
today?
I think what I used to do islike what could I have done
better today?
But I no longer focus on thenegatives, it's just the
(27:04):
positives.
What went well today?
I write out a list, I thinkabout it and then, um, you know,
I think for me, like when I'msleeping, I'm subconsciously
like the last thing I thinkabout is all the positive that
happened throughout the day.
And so, like I'm sleeping on it, I'm subconsciously like
rewiring my brain to like thinkpositive, positive, positive,
positive.
And then I wake up in themorning positive, because I'm
not thinking about, oh, I didn't, didn't do this, this and this
(27:25):
today.
I'm thinking oh, I'm so gratefulfor another day.
Let's have another day, like wedid yesterday, and that just
kind of sets the tone for theday, when we're already waking
up in that positive framework.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
It's awesome.
I know I'm definitely guilty ofthat negative thought at the
end of the day and it'smotivation, like for me.
I'm a very competitive personso I know that if I can ask
myself that question like hey,what did I not do well today?
Or like, what could I improveon, it's always been a driving
force for me.
And that is you bring up such agood point that it's the end of
(27:58):
my day and I really shouldadjust that to be positive for
sure, because I think it'simportant to have those
conversations yeah, oh, I doyeah what didn't go right.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
But you have to take a temperature gauge on life.
We have to be realistic, butyou know, at the end of the day
it's like let's put the phonesaway, let's, you know, imagine
like scrolling for the last hourin bed and then the last thing
you see is like a girl or a guyyou wish you were like, and then
you go to sleep subconsciouslyyou're not thinking about it
subconscious is there, yeah,it's there, and then you wake up
and do the same thing over andover, and over and over and over
(28:29):
again.
How can you not just be anervous system wreck of like in
this comparison trap?
Speaker 2 (28:35):
really well it's like you're they say that you, your
mind doesn't know what's real ornot sometimes, so then it's
like looking at social media orlike watching a lot of tv.
It's like taking away from,like, the reality of your
internal world, kind of.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:50):
And then the other thing I think about too is these
routines are like so important,like I love what you're saying,
like do journal too, or likeokay.
What I feel like is hard is ifyou're dating, trying to bring
someone in, and then stillkeeping those routines right as
you're trying to date someoneelse.
Like no, sorry, honey, like youknow, I don't answer my phone
(29:11):
past this time or I've got to gowork out in the morning.
I'm sorry, I'm not going to layin bed and snuggle you.
I find that discipline becomesa little bit harder when you add
someone else in your life, so Idon't.
Are you?
Are you single?
Are you dating Single?
Speaker 3 (29:26):
Yeah, okay, um, I'm beginning to open the door to
dating.
I haven't for a while.
Um, just because it was reallylike self love.
Yeah, I just had to.
Um, you know how, how can I askfor a woman to bring me all
these attributes when I can'teven show up for myself, sure,
and I feel like that's just nota recipe for a healthy
relationship.
(29:47):
And so I had a lot of thingsthat I needed to work on, and
I'm still working on, of course.
But you know, I kind of feltwith dating, like, for me it's
like I think about it, I expecta lot, you know, and I feel like
I'm not to the level that Ineed to be to ask for that.
(30:07):
But I think that there's abalance to that, because we're
gonna grow at least most of us,I hope sure for for the rest of
our lives, right, so we're notever going to be at that top
level, you know, and if we waittill we're at that top level
again, the goalpost moves andmoves, and moves and we'll never
be ready for a relationship.
Um, so now I'm gonna be alone byitself for a long time, 100,
100.
(30:27):
And so I've kind of come to thegrips of like, okay, I'm in a
good space.
Like you know, the business ismaking money.
Yep, you know, I'm healthymentally, emotionally, um, I'm
healed from a lot of things, andso now I'm starting to open the
door, um.
But it definitely brings alevel of distraction for lack of
better words when you do bringthat partner into um, into the
(30:49):
field.
But that's why I think it'ssuper important to pick the
right partner, and I thinkpeople get lonely and impatient
so they just bring in somebodyto fill that void because
they're in not in the best spaceyeah and that's where you know
we see all these divorce rates.
Like what is it?
50 of people that get marriedget divorced yeah, it may even
be higher, honestly and it'slike we're just trying to have
(31:13):
somebody at least that's the wayI look at it to fill the void
that we have to fix on our own.
Speaker 1 (31:18):
And I think a lot of people are afraid to fall in
love.
Right Like, falling in lovetakes time.
Yeah, Everybody wants to fallin love fast and there's a
difference in that.
Right Like, you could havesomebody fill that seat fast,
but to fall in love, that's aprocess and it does take that
discipline that you bring up.
But discipline creates distanceand the wrong person can take
(31:39):
that as counter cyclical and itgoes against the grain versus
the right person is like that'smore attractive to me because I
know that you're focused andyou're healthy and you're
grounded and you're going to beable to bring more value to me
when we are together.
So I can only imagine, likewhat that looks like.
Yeah, but I think you just keepboth of you.
Honestly, this is all just avery healthy conversation and
(32:02):
you're offering some good jewelsaround this.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
Yeah, because I mean, I can't even imagine you dating
someone who like wasn't livinglike a healthy lifestyle and
like working out, because it'slike what?
This sounds bad, but it's likewhat's the value add If you're
adding.
It's like you know.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
It's almost like they're getting free coaching,
yeah, which is unfair to you,right, right.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
I think I've dated a few guys where they were pretty
fit and I was like this is good,because I'll learn how to work
out now, yeah, I don't mindoffering my expertise, but, yeah
, like you said, it's importantto find a partner with shared
values.
Speaker 3 (32:37):
Yeah, and if I feel like I'm just dragging you along
, that's not helping anybody,right, and so, yeah, I mean
definitely, you know, intofitness and into health and that
way we can complement eachother and I don't feel like,
like I said, I'm dragging youalong, so that's super important
.
Speaker 2 (32:54):
Yeah, I mean, I honestly like I'm just so in awe
of you kind of hearing you saythat, as a man that you like
have taken the time to like workon yourself, like I have so
much respect for it, um, causeI've told you this before, I
really look at you as like ahigh value man, someone who's
like really pouring into himselfphysically, mentally,
(33:17):
financially, working on abusiness.
So I'm like you know, if you dostart dating and you're looking
for that person, what kind ofcharacteristics do you look for
in a woman?
Or you know what's inspiring toyou in someone that you're like
looking at dating?
Speaker 3 (33:36):
Yeah, that's a.
That's a great question.
Um, I think, first and foremost, it's just a godly woman, like
a God-bearing woman.
That's super important to me.
I think, um, you know, as I'mgrowing in my relationship with
God, which is, you know,something I take as important,
um, you know, I want my wife tobe too, and that's just going to
trickle the values of how sheum treats me, how she treats our
(33:56):
family, how she treats her kids, how she treats herself, um, so
that's number one.
Uh, number two is family.
Family is important to me, um,and so you know, I definitely
love a woman that prioritizesfamily.
Do you have relatives?
I do have relatives.
Okay, I don't have any siblings, but I have relatives.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
Okay or yeah, I guess sorry siblings, yeah, sorry.
Speaker 2 (34:15):
Are you an only child ?
I am Okay.
Speaker 3 (34:16):
Yeah, I'm adopted by my grandparents.
Speaker 2 (34:19):
Okay, cool.
Speaker 1 (34:20):
He's like you have relatives, you idiot.
Speaker 3 (34:21):
I do have relatives, but no siblings.
That's on me, I'm sorry.
No, no worries, it's still thefamily dynamic, you know.
Especially, I think, as theworld is moving, there's less
importance on family and moreimportance on like self, and you
know, everybody wants to be aboss, and this, that and the
other.
The way that I view things is Iwant my wife and the mother of
(34:43):
my children to put family overeverything, except God, of
course.
You know, shared the my wifeand the mother of my children to
put family over everything,except god, of course.
um, you know shared values wetalked about that.
Um, support is super important.
I mean, entrepreneurship ishard and, as you said,
discipline causes distance.
Um, you know, if she is alwayslooking at me like, oh, you're
not devoted to me enough becauseI'm growing my business, like
(35:06):
that just creates a stress thatI just don't have the room for,
and so it's like I'm doing thisfor us, right, I'm doing this
for us, I'm going to take careof you, I'm going to take care
of our family, I'm going to takecare of everything, but this is
where I'm at in my life rightnow and it's not always going to
.
It's like, you know, you'rejust slowing me down for lack of
(35:28):
better words.
Um, also, I think loyalty isvery important.
I think it's extremelyimportant how your partner
speaks about you in a room thatyou're not in, especially to
their friends, absolutely, and Ithink people overlook that a
little bit because you know, youknow girls and guys, you know
we have a problem in ourrelationship.
(35:49):
We love to go back and tell ourfriends, yeah, I never do it.
I never do it and it's likepeople don't realize that the
damage that's causing becausenow, not only are your friends
looking at your partner likethey're not worth a darn, you
know it's like also creating adistrust.
It's like this is our business.
You know this is ourrelationship.
Let's hash things out Like I'llnever go disrespect my partner
(36:12):
to my friends and I think that'sjust a part of a loyalty piece
is how they're showing up in theroom for you.
You know discipline and thefitness, you know things of that
nature, but you know those arethe main characteristics for me.
Speaker 1 (36:26):
And you bring up a good point there too about like
letting others into yourrelationship, no matter what the
relationship is.
It's like you're opening thedoor of their traumas and their
insecurities and their issues tothen be welcomed into yours,
which is tough.
Like that can affect yourbusiness, that can affect your
dating relationship.
You have to make sure, just howyou're picky about your mentors
(36:49):
that are around you, you got tobe picky about those friends
that are involved in yourrelationship.
You gotta be picky about whatyou expose them to, because not
everybody's gonna forgive asfast as those two partners will
and then they don't forget, yeah, they don't forget, and they're
not.
Speaker 3 (37:02):
They're not seeing the good stuff.
You rarely go back and rave onthem.
Exactly you know you're onlytalking about the bad stuff.
And again, I think there'simportant pieces of friendships.
Like I have my boys and whenI'm going through it, like you
know, I'll talk to my boys.
I think that's super important,but I'm not always bringing in
my partner's business into otherpeople's rooms.
I just don't think that'simportant.
Speaker 1 (37:21):
There's a line.
Speaker 3 (37:22):
There's a line and you know, one more thing that I
would just a little bit ofpolarizing, I think, in today's
world is like I, as alpha male,like I want my partner to be
willing to be led.
Yeah, you know, I want to bethe leader in my relationship.
Speaker 1 (37:40):
You talk about this.
Speaker 3 (37:41):
And I think a lot of times like Western culture is
really driven women to hate menyeah, a lot of times like
Western culture has reallydriven women to hate men, oh
yeah, and I'm not saying thatthat's bad, but there's
definitely a lot of beta malesout there that don't deserve to
be a leader.
So I recognize that and Iempathize for that.
But if a man is showing up andrespects himself and respects
(38:01):
you and shows up every day as analpha man and gets the job done
and can lead and support, um, Ithink that's super important
and um, you know, that's what Ilook for in a partner.
I don't need, you know, anargumentative partner, I need a
collaborative, a collaborativepartner.
Yeah, you know so and yeah, goahead.
Speaker 2 (38:19):
Well, I was at a.
I was at a wedding last nightand they're a beautiful couple
and in his vows he said to hisfuture wife he said I promise to
provide and protect you.
And I thought that was sobeautiful because I mean to me
that's what an alpha male does,right, he will provide and
protect you.
And that's when a woman willfeel safe to submit to you, like
(38:43):
not submit, just, you know, dowhatever.
But like submit and let youlead and be like the CEO of the
family.
And she's more like the COO ishow I look at it More of the
operations you know, with thekids running the home, but to me
the Mel in the relationship isthe leader.
Yeah, and we talk about that allthe time, because I feel like I
(39:06):
have a hard time finding a malethat I want to lead me, because
as a woman, you want someonebetter, faster, stronger, better
, and I'm not saying that I'm sogreat, but it's going to take
someone special for sure.
Because I mean I don't, I don'twant to have children with
someone if they can't providefor a family, and that's why
(39:29):
I've never had children, becausefor me I don't want to outside
of marriage and I would neverhave children unless I knew that
my partner could provide forour family, and it's not like
you know, times get hard.
Someone could lose their job orsomething could happen.
Your finances aren't alwaysgoing to be perfect, but it's
(39:50):
someone that has like the driveand motivation, and we know
together, no matter what you'regonna figure it out we're gonna
figure this shit out togetheryeah, that's healthy so, but I
also feel like I also have aproblem with being really
independent he sees this all thetime, even in our business
relationship for sure so thereis kind of like this female
(40:13):
movement.
Speaker 1 (40:14):
I feel like where we're and I don't think we're
not saying anything negativeabout it.
Speaker 2 (40:18):
It's just like you're bringing up good points I'm
just like I wonder for you, likeboth of you guys, in your
dating experiences, is it hardto find a woman that wants to be
led like?
Are they?
Because I know even myself Ican be like feisty and push back
?
Speaker 1 (40:32):
I think you both bring it up in the right way,
where it's like you ask thequestion correctly and you said
it correctly, where I think thethe western culture is is set up
right now to hate men, um, um,and that's okay.
Like, yeah, I feel that whenyou said that, I feel that, I
feel like.
Speaker 2 (40:51):
I feel like even I I see that message happening in my
own life Like just go get yourown money, go be alone, go do
self love.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
Sit at home with your cat and wear a face mask and
it'll all work out fine and I'mlike, great, I'm going to be 50,
crying myself to sleep everynight because I didn't build a
family and a home and I think,the narrative's not good, it's
not, and with a narrative notbeing good, I think people are
very quick to demonize peoplefor mistakes, rather than the
(41:21):
idea that people are growing,people are learning a hundred
percent and it's a process, it'sa ride, it's a journey, yeah,
and you're not going to beperfect every day, correct.
And there's another thing too.
Again, I feel like you kind ofsay it without saying it.
It's like you know what youknow and you don't know what you
don't know Right.
So until you make that mistake,yes, there may be casualties to
(41:43):
that war at life and somepeople may feel it a little bit
differently than others.
But that doesn't make you thedevil.
It makes you someone who waswrong and you owe an apology or
you got to fix it or grow orbecome better and go on that
journey.
But I do think Western cultureis setting it up where men right
now are just living in thisspace of like.
(42:03):
I fucking hate you.
Speaker 3 (42:06):
And there's so many caveats to this, right, yeah,
and so it is hard I think theanswer to your question.
It is hard it's, it's hard and,like I said, it's a lot of
caveats, like I'm all aboutempowering women right, yeah,
absolutely I can't live withoutthem yeah but like, at the same
time, you know, in this westernculture, they have I'll say the
(42:28):
word tricked women into thinkingthey don't need men yeah and I
just don't think that's true andI'm just being completely
honest, that's what you guyswant it so yeah but it goes both
ways sometimes.
Speaker 1 (42:36):
There's some men right now being tricked that
they think they don't need women, of course, and that's where it
starts like there's a lot ofbeta males out here that think
they're women yeah, yeah Toreally let's talk about that.
Speaker 3 (42:46):
No, it's fair.
And in order for a woman to besubmissive, you gotta be a
leader.
Let's not forget that.
And that's financially, that'sprotecting, that's emotionally
right, that's mentally like.
There's areas of leadershipthat you have to step up and
lead in.
And, like you said, you're ahigh value woman.
You have self-respect foryourself, you show up for
yourself, right, and so whenpicking a partner, like, of
(43:11):
course, you're not going to picka guy who's a slob, who doesn't
show up to for himself, how'she, how's he going to show up
for you if he's not showing upfor himself?
Right, absolutely.
And um, I one other thing islike, like I said, I'm always
going to empower women, for sure, but I think we live in a
culture now it's like where it'sit's teaching women that they
don't need men and that theyshould go out there and they
should have their own, you know,run their own business and have
their own families and do allthis stuff and take it all on
(43:32):
their shoulders.
Um, when, in reality, like ifyou're going to be a slave to
all those things but not submitto your husband, like, where's
that incongruence at?
Yeah, you know, it's likeyou'll submit to all these
things like your job or yourbusiness, or you know whatever
the case may be, but you won'tsubmit to a leader.
Your husband is.
(43:52):
It's an incongruence there forme.
Speaker 1 (43:55):
And I could bring it.
I want to bring it back tosomething you said on the
beginning of the episode.
It's about finding the balance.
You said at the beginning ofthe episode you help people find
the balance of being that datadriven personal trainer.
It seems like almost at thispoint you're a life coach baby,
but you're adding, you areadding high value and I mean
(44:15):
again, think very highly of,like, the information you're
putting out there, the way inwhich this is going to reach the
audience.
But truly, a lot of that doesshow up.
It's the balance stuff.
You know you have to be able tobalance it all because I don't
think it's one man or woman'sresponsibility to do it all
alone.
And I don't care if you like he, she, they, them, this that
(44:37):
whatever you do like it's amatter of partnership.
It's a matter of being fair andeven, and that's not every day.
It's going to be 50, 50,.
Some days it's 60-40.
Some days it's 70-30.
But just fight to get back andget even and be fair to the
other person.
Be like hey, you had my backthose other two days.
Let me show up for you a littlebit more.
Take some time off, yeah.
Speaker 2 (44:57):
Well, I think we need that partnership because
there's so much going on in lifelike trying to provide an
income.
Both work out.
You want to have kids.
Like no one can do this allalone.
Speaker 3 (45:07):
That's impossible.
We're not meant to do it.
No.
Speaker 2 (45:11):
Sometimes I'm like doing my laundry and I'm like
crying because I'm like, look, Iworked so many hours.
I mean, someone just likecooked me a meal tonight.
I'm like something's not righthere and I don't even have kids,
and I mean it's it's not evenjust saying that like you have
kids and like the feminine islike the only one taking care of
(45:31):
them and then the man's outworking.
It's like partnership andeverything Right.
Like if my husband came to meand he was like my cup's 20%
full or I only have 20% today,I'd be like, don't worry, I got
the other 80%.
Speaker 3 (45:42):
Yeah, and I'll add to that.
I think in the partnership it'sthe thing that really separates
.
It is like the attitude thatyou bring to it of like wanting
to.
Yeah, I want to go out of myway to this, I want to bless my
tail for my wife.
Same with the wife or ourpartner.
It's like I want to take careand make sure my husband's happy
and it's a decision every daydecision and and there's it's.
(46:05):
You know, different partners gotto find pride in that right.
Like I like find joy and thesacrifice that I have to make
for my partner and I think noteverybody has that viewpoint
anymore it's like, well, whyshould I do this?
What did you do for me?
And that's just very unhealthyin a relationship.
It's like you're only.
That's unconditional, like true, conditional love.
(46:25):
I'm doing this, despiteanything else, because I
actually love you and I actuallycare about you and I actually
want to see the best in you, andso I'm willing to go make the
sacrifices that I need to maketo better your life over mine.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (46:37):
And yeah, I don't even want to verb it any other
way.
Speaker 2 (46:48):
That's so good.
I mean, I really think theright person will like motivate
you to show up as an even betterversion of yourself, like
there's even been people I'vedated that were like so
inspiring to me that I startedpushing harder at my own life
because I was like, wow, look atwhat this person's doing like
as you're around them yeah,because I was around them, I was
like I can step it up furtherwith what I'm doing and that's
like I want to be with a man whoinspires me and motivates me
and within that partnership, youknow, and I can't see like what
(47:12):
you're saying, I can't see youwith anyone.
that wouldn't be that way.
Speaker 1 (47:15):
So y'all are bringing up some, some good, thoughtful
stuff, but I want some juicyshit.
Like what's your?
Uh, what's your?
What's your worst date?
I want your worst dating storyCause, like there's got again,
there's got again.
This is like you're motivatedfor a reason, like there's got
to be something that was likethis, this traumatic thing.
Speaker 3 (47:33):
I was like I'm good yeah, yeah, I should be careful
how.
The first thing that comes tomind is like I was catfished one
time and I want to berespectful, but there's a
disrespect in like portrayingsomeone you're not Someone,
(47:53):
you're not Someone, you're not,and so I remember it, I remember
it vividly.
I was like, wow, Like I justgot catfished.
But I'll be honest, Like youknow, I had a serious girlfriend
for an extended know, anextended amount of time
post-college, and so that waslike my only like legit, you
know, girlfriend.
Awesome, For the most part, I'vekind of dated here and there,
but I think that whatapprehended or caused the
(48:18):
relationship not to work ismyself and like I was talking
about, like there were somethings that I needed to work on,
and so I've been constantlygrowing myself to kind of fill
(48:48):
these voids, um, especiallyaround like the emotional aspect
.
I feel like, um, you know, Igenuine connection and so, like
I said, I'm like slowly startingto open the door um to that
world as I start to, you know,have that inner healing of
myself, and so nothing likesuper, super duper juicy.
Um, but you know, it's, it's,it's a journey.
Speaker 1 (49:02):
I think at the end of the day it's it's still
something that you were like.
Sitting in that moment, you'relike I'm being catfished Like
that third eye, that bird's eyeview, as you're sitting in that
moment.
Like that's it's crazy, I'msure I was mad.
Speaker 3 (49:16):
I brought it up.
I was like I don't want to berude, but like I don't know.
It was like bad, like it waslike indistinguishable.
Sometimes you're like oof, butthis was like whoa.
Speaker 1 (49:29):
In those moments, too , it makes you realize what in
the world would motivatesomebody to want to do that.
It's not like they're not goingto get caught.
Speaker 3 (49:38):
For sure, for sure, and also it's again like Because
they still wanted to meet upwith you.
Speaker 2 (49:43):
Yeah, I don't know what's going on.
Yeah and has, because theystill wanted to meet up with you
.
Speaker 3 (49:45):
Yeah, I don't know what's going on.
Has the separate worked?
Yes, like reaffirmed what youwere doing.
Speaker 2 (49:49):
They were trying to get on that show.
Speaker 1 (49:51):
Yeah, that fish show Maybe, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (49:55):
But I love what you were talking about in terms of
your emotional intelligence.
Yeah, as a man, that's sobeautiful that you're so
self-aware about that, because Imean, I've done, I've tried to
understand the differencebetween men and women so many
times because I do think wefunction in so many different
ways.
Have you ever heard of thatbook, like why men are from Mars
(50:16):
and women are from Venus?
Speaker 1 (50:18):
I've heard of it never, oh my god, I think it was
written like 20 years ago.
Speaker 2 (50:21):
I was like this doesn't make any sense.
The only thing I got out of itis we're from two fucking
different planets, you know, butwe do like communicate in such
different ways.
Speaker 1 (50:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (50:32):
Where women can be like so emotional and so clingy,
and then I'm just talking formyself, you know, like I know I
can be a ball of emotions.
And then with guys I'm dating,I'm like, why am I not?
We just function so differentand we have to understand that,
you know.
Speaker 1 (50:50):
No, it doesn't make you wrong either.
Speaker 2 (50:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (50:52):
Like it doesn't.
I think those are like journeythings.
Speaker 2 (50:55):
Yeah, Moments Well, being able to receive love too.
That's not an easy thing.
Speaker 3 (51:02):
You hit the nail on the head with that one, and
that's you know.
Really, what I'm working on islike just receiving yeah, yeah.
I feel like I have to go do itall myself, um, and I think that
closes a lot of doors to a lotof good things, like in my
relationships, in business, inlife.
Is that not the willingness toreceive?
And I think, um, that's justsuper important and that's funny
.
You brought that up.
Speaker 2 (51:20):
That's something I'm definitely yeah, well, I think
sometimes when you let go alittle bit not not doing the
work, but when you let go alittle and soften a little, like
good things come to you, youknow, and we we can receive
those things in that moment.
But it's hard when you're sodisciplined to let go and accept
that I think you know?
Speaker 3 (51:39):
yeah, I mean, I think it's men were inherently wanted
to be like in control of allthings.
Yes, I think there is time toyou know, release and, and you
know, receive that love for sure.
Speaker 1 (51:50):
I think too, is like I just want to really protect
the idea that you run a business.
You are giving out some reallygood Jewels here.
I'm like I'm ready, I'm seriousready, I feel like in like five
years from now.
Yeah, I'm gonna go to a TEDtalk here I'm like, I'm ready,
I'm serious, I'm ready.
Speaker 3 (52:00):
I feel like in like five years from now I'm
literally gonna go to a ted talkand I'm like I was your number
one.
We'll run this back and forth.
It'd be fun to see what's aboutthat.
Speaker 1 (52:09):
I want to definitely protect it because people are
getting some good stuff out ofthis episode one.
Speaker 3 (52:15):
But like even me, like just sitting here being a
co-host right, he's so inspiring, yeah, I just want to like to
that it's like this is justcoming just from myself and my
personal experience.
For sure, all with love, yeah.
Speaker 1 (52:27):
But you can feel it Like we're seeing it and we feel
it.
I hope the audience does aswell.
Speaker 3 (52:32):
Yeah, 100%, and I'm not saying this way, or the
highway, or you have to do this.
This my experience, this iswhere I'm at in life.
Things could be different infive years, but this is the
viewpoint that I'm viewing inlife right now and, um, I think
authenticity and ingenuity is,um, something I value a lot and
like, if I, this is just whatyou're going to get, what you
get, what I say is what you'regoing to get.
(52:52):
And so I just, you know, toeverybody out there, like I have
like some polarizing opinionsand you know, I think it should
be this way or that way.
Like that's your life andthat's the beauty of life is
that you get to construct it anyway you would like.
Absolutely, this is just howI'm constructing my life, and I
think, um the more that we'regenuine, authentic to ourselves,
we can attract people thatshare those same values, and
(53:14):
that's beautiful.
And, yeah, all, uh, welcome toour own opinions.
That's, that's the beauty oflife.
Speaker 1 (53:21):
Well, I want to make sure, too, we give you that safe
stage to ask just our truequestion.
We want to make sure everybodyhas a safe stage to answer.
What do you feel or what hasbeen brought to your attention
or what would you like toclarify on of like, what's your
biggest misconception about you?
Speaker 3 (53:36):
Yeah, yeah, it's funny because I was teed up for
this one.
So I asked one of my, one of myhomegirls, I asked a couple of
them.
They all had the same response.
Speaker 2 (53:46):
I love it I love this .
Speaker 3 (53:48):
Where is she at?
She said.
To be honest, I think thatpeople assume you're a typical
player awesome douche guy, yeah,if you know what I mean.
But in reality you're one ofthe most intentional and genuine
friends I've ever had.
so that's awesome, so beautiful,that's very sweet I think that
just the confidence and the aurathat I give off when I walk
into the room, I'm very like,confident in myself.
Um, it can be a littledemeaning for lack of better
(54:11):
words to to the people around me, but at the end of the day,
like um, I I love, I love hardand I care nothing but the best
for people and and I wantnothing for the best of people.
I hear you.
I think it's important to havea backbone and be secure in what
you believe, but at the end ofthe day, I just want to love
(54:34):
hard.
And so a lot of misconceptionswhen people first meet me is I'm
just a typical Austin douche,but it takes some time to get to
know me.
Speaker 1 (54:40):
You got some light-skinned struggles, my man.
I'm thinking a typical Austindouche, but it takes some time
to get to know me.
You got some light-skinnedstruggles, my man.
Speaker 2 (54:43):
I mean, I'm thinking that too, though, because I'm
like, hey, yeah, like Brian'slike a good-looking guy, it
makes sense, with like theAustin dating scene, that people
would be like perceiving youthat way.
I actually had one of mygirlfriends.
She was like do you know thisguy?
And it was you.
Like uh-oh she was like I foundhim, he's cute, and I was like
I don't know, I'll shoot yourshot.
Speaker 1 (55:04):
Dude, I'll be backing you up the whole way.
Yeah, for sure, for sure.
Speaker 2 (55:09):
So we'll close it out .
But before we close it out, wewant people to be able to follow
, like the great content you'reputting out when can people
stalk your social stuff oninstagram?
Speaker 3 (55:25):
are you most respectful stalking?
We say respectful, no, stalk onhit heart on every video uh
it's brian pollard fitness, andthat's brian with a y
b-r-o-y-a-n pollard fitness, um,and that's across the board um
are you on tiktok?
I'm on tiktok.
Speaker 2 (55:38):
Okay, awesome I'm trying, trying to learn TikTok.
I feel like I'm like amillennial that still doesn't
know what to do.
Speaker 1 (55:43):
It's scary.
It's like do we invest time inTikTok now that it just got
banned?
Like what's the story right now?
It's hard.
Speaker 3 (55:50):
It's hard and I'm definitely not on top of TikTok
as I should be.
I think it's a great platformto get your word out.
Like you can go from zero viewsto a million views just on one
video For sure, whereas, like,instagram works more in an
algorithm.
Yeah, so I think it's a greattool.
I haven't quite figured it out,but it's also a lot of good
information on TikTok.
(56:10):
Oh yeah, people want to ban itand I think there's probably
some good reason around, likewhy, why?
But I don't know if a completeban is a great thing because
there is a lot of goodinformation and resource out
there.
But that's probably aconversation for another day.
Speaker 1 (56:23):
Yeah, I agree.
Well, we want to make sureeverybody comes back to the next
episode.
It was a pleasure to have you,man Brian.
You're a dope dude.
Cass, thank you so much foraligning somebody in your
network and community to come.
Speaker 2 (56:38):
I feel like I'm like fangirl over here.
On this one too, I'm like thewisdom you're spitting out.
Speaker 1 (56:41):
I was like this is so cool.
Speaker 2 (56:42):
Yeah, you're just so authentically yourself, and
that's what I love andappreciate about you, and the
fact that you're sharing thatwith the world your routines and
your habits is just soinspiring.
And so then we always closethis out like the cheesiest way
ever.
Speaker 1 (56:59):
Come back next week, because you know what's going
down.
Speaker 2 (57:03):
In the lobby.
Woo, that was so good.
Thank you.
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