February 15, 2024 • 58 mins
#19: Join us as we sit down with Mike Johnson, reality TV star from The Bachelorette, sexologist, and advocate for mental health. From the military to the spotlight of reality television, Mike shares his transformative journey and how Austin, Texas, continues to shape his perspective on love and life.
In this episode, Mike opens up about navigating fame, staying authentic, and charting a path beyond reality TV with savvy business ventures and sound financial planning. As a sexologist, he brings fresh insights into intimacy, emotional health, and creating meaningful relationships that go beyond the physical.
We dive into the complexities of conditional love, gender roles, and women's autonomy, tackling societal norms and reimagining modern relationships. Whether you’re interested in the realities of fame, exploring deeper connections, or gaining insight into personal growth, this episode offers powerful takeaways for anyone seeking to enrich their understanding of love and life.
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You can follow Mike Johnson:
@mike_johnson
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You can follow Pain In My Cass Podcast: @paininmycasspod
You can follow Cassandra Jean:
@paininmycass_
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Cassandra Jean (00:00):
Hey guys, welcome to In the Lobby podcast.
Today in our lobby we have MikeJohnson.
We're so grateful to have youhere.
I know that you have afriendship with Roger, my
co-host over here, so I'm gonnalet him introduce you.
Roger Braxton (00:16):
Honestly, we're happy to have you, mike.
You know, I think the biggestthing is you're not only a good
friend, but you're a walkingbrand and you find a perfect way
to blend the two together.
You're an investor, you're abusinessman, but reality TV's
favorite face and Bachelor ofNations worst mistake for not
giving you your own season.
So, Mike, we're happy to haveyou here, man.
Thank you for the time.
Mike Johnson (00:36):
I appreciate that intro.
That was dope.
No one's ever said it like that.
I'm definitely happy to be hereand I'm grateful to be here to
be sitting with the two of youand to be in your space, so
thank you.
Cassandra Jean (00:46):
Yeah, we really wanna keep our podcast like
Austin based and so, like I knowthat you're a veteran, you're a
sexologist, you know you're.
Roger Braxton (00:57):
We're gonna get into that.
Cassandra Jean (00:58):
We're gonna get into all these things and we
wanted to talk to you and get toknow your story at like a
deeper level.
And I was just thinking,because we're keeping the
podcast Austin based a littlebit and just kind of trying to
bring the Austin communitytogether I wanted to know, like,
how did you end up here?
Were you born in Austin?
Like, what brought you here?
Mike Johnson (01:19):
Yeah, thank you, good question.
First off, I fucks with Austin.
Roger Braxton (01:25):
Like where else did you live too?
Mike Johnson (01:27):
I mean I've lived around the world.
Like I've lived around theworld.
I've been in like 55 countries.
I just, my girl and I just wasliving in Costa Rica.
It's past summer, summer beforeI was living in Columbia.
That's why I couldn't find you.
Yeah, I mean I'll be, I'maround the world somewhere, but
I was living in San Antonioactually prior to moving to
Austin.
I was there for like six, sevenyears and, yeah, cause the
(01:47):
military?
No, I had, I was living inLondon prior to moving to San
Antonio.
I was in the military overthere, but then I moved to San
Antonio as a civilian, okay, andI was working on bass though,
okay, and I was 25 working onbass.
And I have a personal thing I'mlike if you live somewhere for
seven years, that's your homenow, right?
Yeah, that's just how Ipersonally feel You're past the
(02:07):
half decade.
Roger Braxton (02:08):
Yeah, like you're like this is your new home,
right.
Mike Johnson (02:09):
Yeah, and I was like bro, I'm never gonna find a
wife here, like no offense toSanitonians, sure, it just was
too slow for me.
I mean, I was coming fromLondon and I moved to San
Antonio.
If y'all been in San Antonio asa single individual, it's not
like that spot.
Roger Braxton (02:24):
I think it's great to like raise a family.
Mike Johnson (02:26):
That's what is the spot for that.
Roger Braxton (02:28):
Yeah, but I could only imagine the dating
experiences for you, or evenjust being there as a single
individual, like were you boredevery day, I mean when I let's
be honest though there's stillstuff to do, man, I forgot about
this.
Mike Johnson (02:40):
When I actually moved to San Antonio, I was in a
relationship.
Roger Braxton (02:42):
Okay.
Mike Johnson (02:44):
Yeah, she's an English woman and she moved to
America with me.
Roger Braxton (02:47):
Love.
Mike Johnson (02:48):
And then.
So we were together for sometime and then we got a.
I said we broke up.
Sure, you see how serious Itake relationships.
Like I said it, like I wasabout to say divorce, right, we
got to know we didn't get thatwe never been married right, it
sounded like a healed man overthere.
Oh for sure You're right and so.
But we were together, but thenafter that it was just bro.
San Antonio nightlife is notthe move, but when it comes to
(03:12):
like saving money and it comesto having a wife and or a
husband and kids, it's the spotfor sure.
I love that.
I love that.
Cassandra Jean (03:20):
And I love San Antonio is like a tourist trap,
like I don't know.
I just think of the river walkand it's like a little bit
trashy or I don't know like.
Mike Johnson (03:28):
It's definitely a tourist spot, for sure.
I mean, I love Selena.
Cassandra Jean (03:31):
Yeah, oh, I love Selena.
Mike Johnson (03:32):
Selena loves, you know, and so therefore you can
go to the river walk and go tothe bridge that she was on in
the movie and I love that, andthen you can go to SeaWorld.
It's definitely a tourist spotas well.
Six flags, all of it it'stouristy for sure.
Roger Braxton (03:45):
So then, I guess that brings me to my question
Was it the boredom of SanAntonio that sparked you to
apply to be on the Bachelorette,or yeah, nah?
Mike Johnson (03:54):
So I'm gonna be super transparent.
I promise you all that I willdo this entire time.
Yeah, thank you.
After getting out of arelationship, I'm a little
heartbroken, you know.
Sure they say that men andwomen are different when they
get their heartbroken and I havenever lived in another body, I
just know.
For me it was terrible.
Yeah, and how long did you all?
date Only for like I don't know,18, 24 months, okay, and so
(04:19):
like not long at all, and but Iwas my first love Sure, and so
it really hit deep.
I am someone who I try to bepretty good in a relationship.
Roger Braxton (04:28):
Yeah.
Mike Johnson (04:29):
Not perfect, not at all.
Roger Braxton (04:30):
No, we're not perfect.
Mike Johnson (04:31):
Got a lot of things to do, but in terms of
growing.
But after we broke up I thefirst phase was, you know, hurt
all that stuff.
But like when I got back, good,I was in the streets, heavy,
heavy right and then Poor womenof San Antonio.
I was in the streets and then.
(04:52):
But then I remember I got outof the streets and I was like
man, I want to be in arelationship, right, sure, and I
wish my homie was here.
You met a Mark.
he lives in Seattle oh yeah, andhe's actually the one that put
him me on.
He I threw my phone one day atwork, right.
He was like what the hell wrongwith you?
And I was like, bro, all thesegirls always want to do is fuck.
(05:12):
And he bust out laughing.
He was like what guy says that?
Like, when there's no girls?
Like why would you say that?
Like, what?
Like, why would you say that?
And I was like, is it real?
Like I'm like, I want arelationship, I want to wife him
kids.
Roger Braxton (05:26):
And he was just laughing his ass off and me
genuinely knowing, mark, I knowhe probably asked you in the
question.
Yeah, you know, mark, with likea sincere level of like, no,
like, what do you mean?
Mike Johnson (05:35):
Yeah, like, yeah, mark, like why would you say
that?
But I was being very serious,like extremely serious, and
after him just dying for like 45minutes, like you're weird,
like why would you say that?
Cause he's like you're a guythat can gig her, why would you?
Cassandra Jean (05:49):
why?
How old were you at the time?
Mike Johnson (05:53):
20, at that time I was like 29.
Okay, yeah, I think I was like29, 30, probably 30.
And I'm old.
Yeah, I was like, I was like 30at the time.
And so a few weeks later, hehit me a Facebook message which
is funny, cause I don't evenlike be on Facebook like that,
no more.
Sure, but he sent me a Facebookmessage and it was a casting
(06:14):
call for the Bachelorette, andwell back to Mark man.
No sure Mark is the homie forshow for show and a lot of
things and a lot of things on,you know, on business, off
business.
But he sent me a casting callfor the Bachelorette and the,
funny enough, in my apartmentcomplex, my next door neighbor,
she thought I was an escort forone.
She thought I was an escort nowbecause like it was people in
(06:37):
and out, but because I wore asuit, I had like the dopest
apartment in that complex and Ialways came home like I was 11
or midnight, cause I worked mybutt off.
I was a wealth managementadvisor, for sure.
And so I'm like that's what youthought.
Your brother can't be a doctoror something.
Like you thought I was anescort, like I guess that's a
compliment.
She really thought that too.
But there was another younglady in the complex who had
(06:58):
bachelor watch parties and I hadnever in my life heard of the
bachelor or watched the bachelorat that time.
I went over one day, watched asingle episode.
She's like you gonna be thebachelor one day.
I'm like yeah, whatever.
Okay.
I'm like I'm thinking to my ownblack.
I got tats, now I got braids.
I'm like I'm a veryauthentically me.
That show doesn't seem likethey would appreciate my
individuality and so I brushedthat off.
(07:22):
And then, yeah, mark, he sentme the casting call and I was
off work that day.
Wow.
And so I was like I ain't gotnothing else to do, and so I
drove up to Houston.
It was at the aquarium inHouston and I wore a suit, cause
I didn't know what to do.
Sure, what do I wear Like?
Cassandra Jean (07:40):
hand-dressed casting.
Yeah, I know the wear.
Mike Johnson (07:41):
I mean, I'm a wealth management advisor, so we
wear suits every day at theoffice, and so I went up there
in a suit and it was like maybea hundred guys total and like
900 girls.
Roger Braxton (07:50):
Wow.
Mike Johnson (07:51):
And I knew it was gonna be a blessed day because
I'm a veteran, I'm a VA disabledveteran and I can park a
handicap and the aquarium waslike stupid fool.
So I parked in the handicappedspot but a dude in a van, an
older gentleman, pulled up and Isaw a gentleman next to him in
the patrician seat.
He said, hey, is thishandicapped spot taken?
He asked me while I'm in thehandicapped spot and I was like,
(08:13):
nah, you got it, and so I moved, let him take it.
As I'm walking back up after Iparked I see the dude in the
patrician seat was in awheelchair.
So I was like it made me feelgood, like yo, that's the right
thing to do, right.
Roger Braxton (08:24):
Yeah.
Cassandra Jean (08:24):
He was auditioning for the show.
Mike Johnson (08:26):
Oh wow, you know, it made me feel good too and it
made him chopping it up.
And at the casting call I wasso just myself.
I had a book with me how to WinFriends and Influence People.
I was just so 100, likeanswering questions Like I would
if it was just the two of you,yeah.
And the Houston news came andthey actually interviewed me and
(08:49):
people thought I was thebachelor.
Like it was moms and dadssending me their daughters Like
crazy.
I'm like hey, hey, hey, hey,hey, hey, hey, don't do that.
You know it was wild.
You get this cast in first.
Yeah, I know, right, it was sowild.
I'll never forget it.
Like bro, who said I was thebachelor, yeah, and that was the
very first one, but it's like atotal of like I want to do like
(09:11):
seven, eight different types ofinterviews, sure, and I say
different types because not allof them were an interviewer
asking the interview.
We questioned some of them.
Like hey, bro, he's coming toroom and kicking, yeah.
And like you don't know thatyou're being interviewed, but
it's just, people are talking toyou, you don't know who they
are, you think you're waitingfor somebody to come in, but
alone they're actuallyinterviewing and actually
(09:31):
they're the one interviewing youright.
No, it's really smart.
It's actually a technique.
I'm a steal.
The coolest one.
I'll skip over the rest.
The coolest interview idea forthat process was I ain't going
to say his name, but one of thehomies.
He's a producer for the show.
I want to say his name when Isay his name Because he's cool.
He listens to all of us andhe's like all right, we do the
little five-minute interview.
(09:52):
He's like are you ready for thenext room?
I'm like yeah what's up and I gointo another room and it's like
40, 45 people in the room, onechair at the front, 45, like
interrogating you almost.
Roger Braxton (10:04):
Like.
Cassandra Jean (10:05):
OK, got it.
Mike Johnson (10:06):
And.
Roger Braxton (10:07):
I'm painting the picture clearly for myself,
thank you.
Mike Johnson (10:10):
And so, and then there's a chair at the front.
So he's like hey, sit in thischair.
I go up, sit in the chair, andI'm nervous, not going to lie,
it's like 40, 45 people staringat me that you don't know.
Yeah, I ain't never seen noneof them people before, and
somebody says something to meand I forget what everybody said
.
I remember who he is.
He's actually high up in thebachelor world.
I ain't going to say his nameat all and I cracked a joke
(10:33):
about him.
I just started talking noise.
That's just what my naturaldefault is, I guess.
And so I'm like why you got theAbercrombie and Fitch shirt on
right and then we just go.
We'd banter a little bit backand forth and it was beautiful,
it was all of that.
Roger Braxton (10:46):
Well, I guess I dig into some of that.
To then also kind of ask you,cass as well have you come
across a lot of the otherbachelorette contestants or any
of the folks on the show inAustin?
Cassandra Jean (11:01):
Yeah, it's weird .
I've run into a few of them inAustin.
I mean, I don't reallyassociate with any of them, but
it seems like there is a goodamount of bachelorette and
bachelor contestants that havelanded in Austin, so but I mean
it's like did you all the peoplethat I guess are here in Austin
?
Roger Braxton (11:21):
did you all cast at the same time?
Mike Johnson (11:23):
No, my old roommate Connor.
He actually goes to Shout OutCollective.
He probably will hate that Isaid.
Cassandra Jean (11:31):
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Mike Johnson (11:34):
I'm sorry.
So yeah, connor and I we wereon the same season.
We actually were roommates onthe show and roommates in real
life.
He was the youngest, I was theoldest, and so, and he was the
tallest, I was the secondtallest, and so we became
Gohomi's in that time period oflife.
And yeah, so we were on thesame season.
But the other guys, like Daniel, zach, katie and some of the
(12:00):
other individuals that I've nowsince gone, now they were
different seasons, got it.
Cassandra Jean (12:03):
Got it.
What was like the process, yourmindset, like going into being
on the show, because I heardthis clip from you when I was
listening to some of yourcontent and I think you were
talking about the one thing youwish you would have done, or any
of the guys should do, is puton 15 pounds of muscle and treat
the women like how they wouldtreat their mom.
(12:24):
And I listened to that and Iwas like can't every guy just do
this?
Roger Braxton (12:28):
I feel like you're reading our text.
When I was trying to get on theshow.
Mike Johnson (12:32):
Now I specifically told that to Matt James.
He's the first Black-EverBachelor.
He's an amazing guy Because,matt, if y'all follow him, he
likes to run a lot Marathon guyand I'm like, bro, you've got to
be the Bachelor, homie.
I talk to people like I'm not ayes man.
I'm going to tell you the truth, like if you want to go on
America Idol and you can't sing,I'm like you know that you
(12:53):
might want to go on Tough Mudderor something.
You might want to go onsomething else.
And so for Matt, matt is anamazingly good looking guy.
I'm like, bro, you can put on15 pounds.
Tell me, the camera would likeit, right?
Cassandra Jean (13:04):
And he did.
Mike Johnson (13:05):
And him and his beautiful girlfriend Rachel are
doing amazing.
That's awesome.
And where are they based out ofnow?
Based out of everywhere?
Based out of the airport?
Cassandra Jean (13:15):
That's where they based out.
That's great.
New York, new York, I mean.
That's pretty cool though,because he's like physically
showing up as the best versionof himself.
It's like mentally affects youtoo.
So going into his season, heprobably felt really confident
and ready to find his person.
So I love that, for sure.
Roger Braxton (13:32):
Remember, we're in the lobby, so it's like we
want to make sure we get touncover those things that you
don't really get to see from anInstagram post or an interview
or any other show you've been on.
Let's just make sure we haveclarity.
Where the hell were you born,man?
Great question, great question.
It's like all y'all live thistraveling life, but where does
(13:53):
it start?
Where does the Mike Johnsonstory start?
Mike Johnson (13:56):
Yeah, on the side of a road in Colleen Texas.
Roger Braxton (13:58):
OK.
Mike Johnson (13:59):
OK, yeah, so I was born in Colleen.
Ok, I'm a military brat.
I went to a bunch of elementaryschools, lived as a child.
Mom or dad was military, myfather was OK and my sister's
father was military, and then wegot a bunch of military in the
family and so I grew up learninga little bit of German, lived
in Germany for a while, like 10,12 different American states
(14:23):
for some time, and so I think Ijust got the travel bug at an
early age, and so now it's justwhat I do.
I'm probably going to definitelyhave at least a movie by
Coastal or by Coastal or byHemisphere at some point in time
.
Roger Braxton (14:37):
Ok, and it kind of transitions to where we want
to kind of take some of thequestions as well, to where it's
like this is version of careerand life Right.
Like you may sound like eitherone of the lucky ones or one of
those maybe niche individuals onthe show where you already had
the travel bug and some peoplemay get used to that as they get
(14:58):
that fame.
How did you transition tohaving your personal life being
a wealth advisor, getting on theshow, getting all this fame at
a rapid pace, but then having tocome back home and when you
come back home, you got totransition back to the regular,
regular life that you had, butnow with all this fame backing
you at the same time.
Mike Johnson (15:20):
Bro, that's difficult for a lot of people.
I mean, that's like a truly amental health battle for a lot
of people Because, like onemoment, matter of fact, one of
the homies he's an alumni, Iain't gonna say his name.
Sure, he said he was a footballplayer and he was like, when I
lost that, sure, y'all couldhave a little process of
elimination, for God's sake.
I won't say nothing elsebecause he's a lot of football
players, but I won't say nothingelse.
(15:42):
But one thing he said to me waskind of dope.
He said it a few weeks ago.
He said when I lost thatfootball fame, it like I was
nobody again.
And then he said I'm startingto lose my bachelor fame, I'm
nobody again.
I was like, damn bro, you gotto find you, like be you at all
times.
Yeah, and so for me, I was 31years old when I went on the
show.
I was definitely, like I said,the older, I was one of the
(16:05):
oldest guys there, second oldest, but the first oldest.
He left quite early and so Ibecame an oldest for like the
majority of the time and for theworld, how old are you now?
I'm 36 now.
Cassandra Jean (16:13):
OK, you're not supposed to ask that question,
roger you know it cast.
Mike Johnson (16:18):
Tell his ass, tell his ass, damn, why should
Google a wall?
It's unfortunately Google awall, but now, it's definitely
different coming out of the show.
But to be succinct and lucid toyour question though, I haven't
had the three letter wordJ-O-B-I-E, d-i-e since 2019.
(16:41):
Wow, and people can be likeit's because of TV and I'd be
like bro.
Really think about it.
90% of people that go onreality TV they still working.
Roger Braxton (16:52):
Yeah, like over 90%.
Mike Johnson (16:54):
Yeah, it's an expiration date.
For sure you get caught 15minutes to find it for a reason,
but for me I was blessed enoughto, like I said, be a financial
advisor prior, stack in moneyand just be intelligent with my
dollars that I have.
And now I'm a small businessowner and investor.
Ok.
Cassandra Jean (17:09):
That's really cool and that kind of makes me
think about the misconceptionsof you being on the show and
then coming out of that.
I was talking to Roger lastweek about misconceptions about
me and I probably sounded like awhiny little blonde, but it's
true, like I feel like people,no matter what whether you're on
(17:29):
a reality TV show or you're thegirl next door people are going
to have misconceptions aboutyou.
So I'm just wondering how thoseaffected you and what the
things you were hearing frompeople?
Roger Braxton (17:42):
Yeah, and would they get back to you?
Or is this something you'd findout so much later?
Mike Johnson (17:47):
No, I think this leads to another thing as well,
like what I learned about myself, and so everything you hear
everything under the sun.
I mean, somebody called me agorilla and I'm trying to be
racist.
I'm like, OK, I have a gorillatattoo.
Roger Braxton (18:00):
So I'm glad you know that Represent.
Cassandra Jean (18:03):
I'm like OK represent.
Mike Johnson (18:04):
I'm glad you realize it.
Like a gorilla's a threat, yeah, and so I mean just everything
being called an inward hard-art.
I'm sorry for that experience.
I mean just death threats,everything that you could
possibly think of as negative.
I definitely received,especially because I'm more one
(18:24):
of the outspoken individuals.
For sure.
I believe that during momentsin life not even necessarily
during moments in life whensomething is affecting you and
your people and your culture andwhat you stand for whether it's
water that you care about ordogs that you care about and you
don't stand there for that,that means silence is acceptance
.
And so I am someone thatdefinitely is outspoken and
(18:47):
speaks my mind, and I definitelylost a lot of things because of
it.
But I gained so much more, andwhat I gained was not only
shedding the fat, ie theaudience, but gaining community.
More so, but even more so thanthat, I gained respect for
myself to stand up on my beliefs, and I became more educated so
(19:09):
I could back up my beliefs, sure.
Roger Braxton (19:11):
I mean, I guess you say it in a very well-spoken
manner, so like one, Iappreciate that.
I think I could definitelyalign with versions of that as
well.
But I think I have a greatfriendship amongst Cassandra and
I, where I think mental healthis a big concern, of just things
that we constantly want to justbounce off of each other.
(19:31):
Do you think that's ever beensomething that you needed to pay
more attention to?
Absolutely, and is thatsomething that kind of showed up
throughout being on theboush-eret?
Mike Johnson (19:45):
For when I say absolutely 100%, that's my
entire in-moment of life.
I think that for the rest of mydays that I'm breathing, mental
health is a part of myconversation period and we'll
get more into it as the podcastgoes on.
Roger Braxton (19:59):
I mean, we were the only guys reading at the
pool.
Facts, facts, facts, facts,100%, right, 100% for show.
Mike Johnson (20:04):
Shout out to Yana.
Shout out to Yana.
The pool was goodie, but allowus to play music.
Come on, Lobby music whack.
Yeah, there's some changes Inthe lobby music, though it's
good there we go what up.
You see how I did there what upFor me individually.
I remember one of the humbiesfrom the show.
Of course Michael says his name.
He made me realize something hesaid most of us that go on a
(20:28):
show let's be honest y'all don'tremember all their names, but
90% of people listening thatwatched the Bachelor don't even
remember my name.
If you don't watch the Bachelor, you never want to know who I
am right.
Roger Braxton (20:38):
Yeah.
Mike Johnson (20:39):
And it's just like three people that get
remembered.
You know what I mean.
And so we'll have a set of 27individuals.
You feel me, and so one of theindividuals that was a part of
the 27, in my opinion, has thebest body known to man, sure,
and I saw him in person.
I was like, bro, why are youunfollowing me, honey?
Yeah, and he was like to behonest with you, bro, watching
(21:00):
you and the people that are likefour times bigger than I am.
It's difficult because westarted at the exact same spot
with the exact same stuff, sure,but they like you and I, me,
and that's hard to deal with andI felt that and I held space
for him and that's really, truly, that's a risk, authentic,
right there.
Yeah, like, how can you imagine, like, having a twin?
(21:21):
And they just blow up, yeah,and you ain't shit, yeah, ain't
shit being from the outsideperspective right now, from your
own perspective, and so I felthim on that, and so I think that
is mental health is a hugeconversation coming off of TV.
I mean one of my homegirls thatLost her battle to mental
health.
She was, quite literally, queenherself.
(21:44):
Miss USA 2019, chester Christ.
Roger Braxton (21:48):
We talk for being vulnerable every single day and
I believe I saw pictures ofy'all posted on.
Mike Johnson (21:54):
Instagram.
Yeah, it's funny because INever posted our prior Wow and I
think I wrote about that, mybody, my caption.
I was like man, I just I Wish Iposted all of all of our little
clips dancing is just beingfunny, cute but I never did
because of she's a public figure.
(22:14):
I was a public figure and youknow you got deal with other BS
and so she lost her life in agreat deal because of the way
people come at her.
Yeah, came at her, and somental health will always be a
part of my conversation and Iwas like after the show.
Roger Braxton (22:31):
Yeah that was after the show.
Cassandra Jean (22:32):
Okay, I think you know I said this before, but
I think sometimes like some ofthe most beautiful people, or
like people you think are happy,or like hurting the most
Sometimes, and I'm sure peoplelooked at her and like she's was
so beautiful, you know, andlike no one knows what's going
on in our inner worlds you know,except us and it's so easy with
(22:54):
social media and everythingjust to attack people.
But there's something reallyvulnerable about being willing
to be yourself and like sharewho you are with the rest of the
world, because there's a lot ofpeople that could not handle
that right.
Like if someone Started kind ofgetting popular on social media
and people started talkingnegatively, a lot of people
(23:15):
would just shut down and give upand what you've done is really
successfully build a brand and aperspective and know that
people are gonna say things thatyou don't agree with, but
continue to be yourself and holdspace for that.
So I think that's prettyimpressive.
Yeah, cuz anyone says onenegative thing about me and I
(23:37):
call him crying.
Mike Johnson (23:39):
No, so, like about that one, I appreciate what you
said.
Thank you and sorry for yourloss.
Yeah, I, I appreciate that.
Yeah, I've.
Actually I've lost four peopleto suicide, from heist to high
school friends to when I was inthe military, my battle buddy.
I got some to Chesley and I'msorry for your loss as well.
I appreciate it and I thinkthat to what you said.
(24:00):
Cassandra, I Think we have badmath.
I really do what I mean by that, right, let's say you post a
picture, you get 10 comms, let'ssay eight of them a positive to
them, or like dog shit,negative, yeah, the eight is out
weighing the two negative,right, but all we do is pay
attention to the negative there.
That's bad math on us.
Yeah, you mean, and so I try tothink of for my mental, like I
(24:21):
got a billion tips, but that'sone of them.
Just like bro have better mathskills, did you not learn that
thing in like middle school?
Like you know, 10 minus 80,straight up, right, my stropping
knowledge Girls for us overhere it's just all about little
things like that.
And then the second thing forthat and this is a this is a
harder one to learn, but sure,that's not my business.
(24:44):
Right that your dumb ass is notmy business, bro.
Cassandra Jean (24:48):
Yeah.
Mike Johnson (24:49):
That's not my business.
Like, how you feel about me isnot my business, it just isn't.
You may be talking about me, Imay be the subject of your
conversation, but that's not mybusiness right now, if you my
homie, you hear some shit youshould tell me you gotta tell me
, but if there's just somebodytalking noise, that's not my
business.
Cassandra Jean (25:05):
I've heard like an influencer say that she just
leaves the bad comments there,perfectly like she doesn't
delete them because she's likeI'm just gonna shame them that
way whatever you said, you haveto live with that, because
that's a reflection of you, notme, and I was like I love that.
So, yeah, it has nothing to dowith you, but some people are
hurting, you know I.
Mike Johnson (25:26):
I definitely delete the the racial ones.
Cassandra Jean (25:28):
Yeah, yeah, I think my audience like 98 99%
Caucasian.
Mike Johnson (25:33):
I just don't want I.
Just don't like didn't in wordof my on my post.
Oh, you asked a questionearlier.
Like, what's the like?
The only thing that's evergotten to me ever, then it
brings to mind because of theracial aspect is that people
Didn't think that I like blackgirls.
Oh, no, that's the only thingthat got to me, the only thing
I'm like bro, can a brothergoing to be like can you?
(25:55):
Can you not be light-skinned?
Going to be what deemed asuccess and not like a Certain
race, like that's stupid.
Roger Braxton (26:03):
I mean no one.
It's no one's business as well,right, Like that's what alone.
How is somebody gonna know yourentire life based upon one
segment of it?
Mike Johnson (26:13):
That's a beautiful statement.
Yeah, it's self-explanatory,it's rhetorical.
That's a man.
That's good, yeah.
Cassandra Jean (26:18):
Do you think that like affected your dating,
like after being on thebachelorette, like just even
like black women, like thinkingmaybe he's not in, like you know
he was on this show.
There was this white girl.
Like how did that wholeperspective?
Mike Johnson (26:33):
being a black man.
Yeah, like yeah, I don't thinkthat it affected it at all.
When he came to white girls, Igot a day with any white girl.
I was like, hey, you know.
Roger Braxton (26:46):
But in the lobby world.
This is Mike being very honest.
Mike Johnson (26:51):
It was like he liked me, but, like for the
sisters, I think that Not evento be honest with you, not even
on a TV aspect, even beforegoing on TV, it was like you're
in an Air Force, you're afinancial advisor, you like, you
know, you know you wear suits,you.
It was just like an assumption,and it's a fair assumption to I
(27:11):
want to make for the record,like when we watch the NFL draft
, when we watch the NBA draft, Imean, how many times you see it
?
Yeah, you got 77% of theplayers being black and I would
say a good 80% of those 70, 80%of those players that are black,
they got a white girl, yeah,and so therefore it does
something to the black girlslike, well, men that are I put
(27:34):
in this category don't like me,and that's a.
That's terrible, that's sad, itreally is.
I Wish it wasn't that way.
For sure I really do, and mygirlfriend now is an African
woman.
I'm Absolutely in love with her.
Cassandra Jean (27:49):
She's dropped that gorgeous so I know I bet
she's even more beautiful, butshe's dropped that gorgeous, so
you're a very lucky guy.
Roger Braxton (27:56):
I'm a respectful friend, so I'll never make
comments towards your partner.
But I man, I'm Right.
Mike Johnson (28:02):
I'm happy to see you happy.
Roger Braxton (28:04):
I appreciate it resonates very well and y'all
both look like a true modelcouple Like yeah, you guys are
like out of a magazine.
Cassandra Jean (28:12):
I'm like how'd you find each other?
Mike Johnson (28:14):
again.
I'll be mark.
Cassandra Jean (28:16):
Mark mark.
Roger Braxton (28:17):
Shout out to mark .
Mike Johnson (28:23):
Mark is the man, seriously, but not so.
I mean, mark.
Actually I was living in Mexicoto learn Spanish, right?
Yeah, I moved it for sevenmonths learning Spanish and then
I moved to Colombia and then tolike practice the Spanish.
We're in Colombia, I move.
Roger Braxton (28:38):
This time I was in Cartagena, okay, nice and so
you've been yeah, I mean I'vebeen to Colombia a few times,
yeah, twice.
Cassandra Jean (28:47):
It's a lot of I have friends that go there for
bachelor party.
Mike Johnson (28:55):
I'll chase you First.
There's a lot of hookers, youain't?
You're right 100%.
And and they fucking gorgeous.
Cassandra Jean (29:06):
I was gonna say I think plastic surgery is cheap
there too.
Mike Johnson (29:10):
They gorgeous.
Naturally, they do got a lot ofplastic surgery because, like
they be having like the I callit Batman abs.
They be looking good.
Yeah, and he looked, turns tothe side, he's out of flubber.
He's like bro, what is going on?
It's so me and a woman, bothlike they have abs, and then
they turn to the side.
You're like on a flap, likeit's gonna do Jim.
But it's a lot of hookers overthere.
They are Name, I would say it'slike top three most beautiful
(29:36):
women I've seen as far as thecountry goes.
The others are like in a partof Africa and the Middle East,
like Qatar, saudi area, and thenI ain't gonna get into details
like that.
I'll tell you hey, watch it, gohere, I'll tell you where to go
.
But now it's a lot of hookers.
(29:57):
What I was doing there?
Honestly, me and Mark, we had aspot out there.
We were living there for abouta month, month and a half.
It was beautiful, right.
So I'll tell you we had a myfirst time ever having a mate.
Yo, have y'all ever had a mateLike this lady was cooking and
cooking.
Roger Braxton (30:12):
I don't know if I have access to the same money
you do.
Mike Johnson (30:15):
No, I'ma tell you, though I'll tell you, though,
I'm a financial advisor, right?
So I'll be looking at numbersand I'll be cheap.
I'm too cheap.
And so the homies, everybodywould say I'm way too cheap.
I live, stupid, below my means.
And she was cooking six meals aday for me, like four meals a
day for Mark, cleaned all thehouse I'm talking about like I
think it was $10 a day, wow.
Roger Braxton (30:36):
I was in love with this one, like yo, you were
so sweet.
Mike Johnson (30:38):
You know what I'm saying.
My first meal was at 6 am likedope.
So what we did there I don'twant to deviate from the
question.
I didn't hook her with nohooker, for the record.
That's why I came back to thatquestion, because I don't want
nobody to be thinking.
I mean, there's one thing.
Roger Braxton (30:52):
Me neither.
I don't want anyone to think.
Mike Johnson (30:53):
You feel me?
Yeah, you feel me.
There are women that are nothookers there too.
Like you know, honestly, thewomen that I met there, the ones
that I kicked it with were onewas a supermodel she you can
Google her, I'm not gonna sayher name right now, Sure.
And the other main one was adoctor, both Colombians.
And so I was, me and Mark wasliving their life.
(31:16):
I remember they were taking usaround everywhere, Like we went
to one of the finest restaurantsin South America and we had
Miss Columbia come up to thetable like kicking it with us.
We had it was just a ball.
I'm just saying like that, I'velived a beautiful life.
Cassandra Jean (31:33):
I was just gonna say I feel like you've really
got to experience a lot ofthings in your life and like in
your dating and everything, andso like, how long have you been
with your current partner?
Because it sounds like youspent a lot of time on like
self-discovery and dating andyour career, and then now you
have a person in your life.
So what does that kind of looklike?
(31:55):
Like how did you meet?
How long have you been dating?
Mike Johnson (31:59):
Yeah, we've been dating about 17 months 16 months
and while I be talking, I'mdating in months like I had a
kid, like I could just sayyou're gonna have something like
that.
Sure, you know, 17 months, youknow, but it's still fresh,
definitely fresh.
I always like to say in ourrelationship, we're still
building the foundation.
Right, that's what I think I'lltalk about in terms of months,
(32:20):
cause to me, foundation is themost important part of any
structure, right, the buildingthat we're in right now.
If it wasn't for the foundation, who forget the?
Who cares about the walls onthe second floor?
Yeah, the foundation ain'tthere.
That's just a fact, and so Ilook at relationships in that
same way.
But mommy Mark hooked us up.
He actually went to.
Since this is Austin where hewas at Mayfair, I don't really
(32:44):
go out that much at all, yeah.
Cassandra Jean (32:47):
I hear you, man, I hear you go hi.
Mike Johnson (32:49):
Shout out Mayfair.
Yeah, so he was at Mayfair andmy girl I'm so like.
Well, I don't know what my exdoes in life.
Cassandra Jean (32:57):
My girl.
No offense to her, my girl.
Mike Johnson (33:00):
She had just moved back to America, she was living
in Spain, and so it's kind ofwe already had some similarities
in that regard.
We both speak Spanish and so wegot a couple of similarities in
that regard.
But Mark tried to highlight her, and you know what I mean.
He tried to highlight her but,like shout out to Mark, Mark's
good for a lot of things.
Cassandra Jean (33:17):
He brought a dog .
Let's go, mark.
Mike Johnson (33:20):
You're on a hunger , you're on a hunger.
But he tried to highlight herand like she stood up and like
his height stopped, her heightkept going a while and so that
was like ugh number one.
You know you're a tall woman.
Cassandra Jean (33:34):
You know what I'm saying you have a story of
my life you don't have to tellme yeah, and then, like the
second part, that's really funny.
Mike Johnson (33:41):
It was like he tried to spin her and she had a
duck to go under his arm.
I was like, ooh, she spun Mark.
And so he was like, yeah, itain't gonna work.
And so he told her I got a dudethat she should probably meet.
You know, mark speaks highly ofmust, speak highly of him.
Absolutely True homies.
And then he slid me here IG andI hit her up a few weeks later.
Roger Braxton (34:04):
And I would even want to try to understand how
this works, with you having afoundationally growing
relationship, right?
How do you mix in your versionof being a sexologist and also
being in a relationship, forsure, Like a beautiful question.
Cassandra Jean (34:19):
I mean, you sound like you're really.
You know she must be lucky ifyou're a sexologist is what.
I was thinking because I wasn'teven sure what a sexologist was
, but maybe the next person Idate can be them too.
Roger Braxton (34:31):
Mike's going to be your new Mark.
Mike Johnson (34:34):
I mean, she happy for sure I am a sexologist,
don't make me blush.
I think the thing about being asexologist, being in a
relationship, is that you don't.
You want to make sure you havea strong boundary, and that
boundary is never want to comefrom a place of, like their
therapist right Love Like.
You never want to do that,because no one ever wants to
(34:55):
feel like they need help forsure.
You know what I mean and so it'salways a place of like.
I definitely know how to haveproper conversations like
non-violent communications, abig aspect of it, Absolutely,
and I would say that's thebiggest thing.
Roger Braxton (35:09):
Everything else is just you know it's fun.
So it sounds like there's alarge benefit to you being a
sexologist and being in arelationship Can you explain
what that is?
Cassandra Jean (35:19):
Yes, because I'm like to me.
I'm just like OK, does thatmean you're good at sex, or like
what is that?
Mike Johnson (35:24):
Yeah, I'm not saying you're bad at sex.
Cassandra Jean (35:26):
There's my call-house cast.
Mike Johnson (35:27):
Super direct.
No, fair for sure.
I think that it's like you knowwhat man I've grown so much
because I could have ate thatalive.
Like you threw the shot, shewas like I'm not a donkey.
Roger Braxton (35:40):
What's up you over here, like two years ago?
Mike Johnson (35:43):
No, not in that regard, but just like you threw
it out for me to say somethingcompletely out, but I'm not
going to say that at all.
What I will say, though, isthat I call myself a tantric
sexologist, meaning I'm atantrica In tantrica, most of a
lot of people that are ignorantnot ignorant in a negative way,
but ignorant in the definitionof ignorance which is the lack
(36:05):
of knowledge in regards tosomething A tantrica is also for
men as well as men and women,just because it has an A at the
end.
But as a tantric sexologist, Ifocus on ensuring that the
person that I'm speaking to,ensuring that my clients, feel
comfortable and safe in theirown body Love, but then also
that they can be intimate withothers but then intimate with
(36:27):
themselves.
And I'm not even talking aboutjust strictly sexual, because,
let's be honest, sex is easy butintimacy is difficult.
Absolutely Right, and so I helppeople, it's a commitment, yes
for sure, and it's morally notmorally, but more so a
commitment with himself, acommitment to growth, because I
think that, excuse me, I thinkwhat love is and being in love
(36:47):
with someone is that they'regoing to show every fucking
trauma that you have, absolutely, it's going to manifest in them
.
Roger Braxton (36:56):
It's a mirror.
Mike Johnson (36:57):
Yeah, it's a mirror, and so I think that, as
a sexologist, it's beautiful,because we can actually be
intimate without sex.
Yeah, makes sense, yeah, and sothat's different for a lot of
people.
Let's be honest, right and inthis day and age, we can smash
left and right, but the act ofactually when something comes up
, and listening to your body,hearing your body, being healthy
(37:21):
within your body.
My entire mission as asexologist is to grow our mental
health and weave that withsexual well-being.
So mental and sexual well-being, because they go hand in hand.
Cassandra Jean (37:32):
Yeah, I mean, I feel like sex is such a healing
experience if you're doing itwith the right person.
Mike Johnson (37:39):
Absolutely yeah, Sex is the not sex, I'd say, but
achieving orgasmic bliss.
And this is.
You can go Google me, you don'twant to believe me, and orgasm
is the only thing In the lobbyman.
We trust you.
That supersedes fear, pain,anxiety, depression, loneliness,
everything that few seconds ofthat orgasm is.
(38:03):
We call it bliss, because bliss, in our definition, is free
from suffering.
And that's what I want to do,and I want to help all my
clients and every one that Iencounter.
I want to help you.
Roger Braxton (38:12):
Yeah.
Mike Johnson (38:12):
I want to help you , I want to help myself and all
those listening to be free fromsuffering, because so many of us
have quarters all flooding ourbody, stress, flooding our body
with the day and age that welive in and that manifests in
different ways.
It can manifest in you cursingat your partner.
It can manifest in the rightside of dysfunction, performance
, anxiety, vaginosis, inabilityto have an orgasm.
(38:34):
It can manifest in all thesedifferent ways.
So a girl might be like a girlmay be talking to me oh, you're
a sexologist, tell all thesedudes they need how to fuck,
right, and I can go in for sureon him.
But then I can also go in onher and be like when was the
last time that you played withyourself?
Ok, when was the last time youplayed with yourself without a
toy?
When was the last time that youspoke your truth, got to know
(38:57):
your body?
When was the last time that yougot to know your body but also
your mind?
When was the last time that youjournaled in a positive way?
Sure, like.
I can go down a million thingsright For guys.
When guys be like yo Mike, youknow I'm getting kind of older,
bro, you 36, too.
You know how I get bettertestosterone.
I always start off with twothings One, how do you squat,
and how often do you squatAbsolutely?
And then two, how do youmeditate and how often do you
(39:20):
meditate?
Right, because they go a goodset.
A good Sex life is a goodphysical and mental health life.
Roger Braxton (39:29):
Absolutely.
Mike Johnson (39:30):
And that's my entire mission.
I'm actually working with theNational Coalition of Sexual
Health as this very second, anddoing my own, actually peer
reviewed, studied, with thefeeling scene in my company,
sure.
Cassandra Jean (39:41):
Wow, I brought this up earlier and Roger was
like, don't ask him thisquestion.
But, like, when you're workingwith your male clients, do you
ever like, you know, is Viagraever the option you know like,
because I don't know like tokeep your sex life like spicy
and if it's not working for you,is that something you ever
recommend?
(40:01):
Or you always go like theholistic approach?
Roger Braxton (40:03):
first.
Yeah, like, do you think themale or female, or is it one
sided or both sides wherethey're looking for a cheat code
versus actually the answer?
Cassandra Jean (40:11):
Well, at least males have Viagra.
What do I have?
Magic wine?
No, Well no.
Mike Johnson (40:16):
Seattle.
There's there's, as of therecording of this podcast.
There are medications for bothparties and all genders to help
in that area.
Cassandra Jean (40:24):
OK.
Mike Johnson (40:25):
To answer your question, though I think that,
well, to answer both of y'all'squestions.
I'm going to start with yourquestion, roger, because it goes
back to your question, cass.
Everyone wants the quick fixfor sure, period.
That's the society that we livein, that's the Western culture,
that's 2020s, that's what it isthe now, cass, to you that's a
(40:46):
bit of a more complex question Ican say yes, easy, right.
Yeah, bro, take some Viagra ifyou want to homie, but do you
want to get to the?
Do you want to band-aid or doyou want to get to the causal
level causal being root level ofwhat's going on?
Right, and we could do that aswell.
Normally it's a lifestyle thing,lifestyle being, mind, body,
spirit, sex.
(41:06):
Truly, that's normally what itis.
If you're 63, that's normallywhat it's going to be, a
lifestyle thing.
And you know how many times Ihear people Mel, mel's, say bro,
I took some Viagra or Cialis orwhatever the case may be, but
the feeling is different.
I'm the same.
Yeah, my dick is hard, pause,but like Thank you for the pause
(41:28):
.
Yeah, like my dick is hard, butI just like I'm not you know
raging you just mad at somethingBecause it's a different thing,
right?
And this is what people are notrealizing like the best sex.
People always are always askingas well.
Well, mike, what are thesecrets, what are the tips?
I always say step one it ain'tgoing to be like you know, the
(41:49):
come here, the emotion, we cando all that stuff, but that's
just, that's like down the line.
Step, one step one, your bodypart and your body part, my dick
.
They're.
They're in tennis, right.
Roger Braxton (42:02):
And so they can feel.
Mike Johnson (42:03):
Yeah, Like my girlfriend will say something
like even if my eyes are closed,I can feel when you're around a
certain part of my body there'sgot me so excited.
Cassandra Jean (42:11):
Yeah, she says it's got me, so there's actual
energy there, and so we can feelit.
Mike Johnson (42:13):
So there's an antenna there.
So before the pie I'm not goingto say which one- of y'all are,
like you know, one of y'alllike you have barriers up right.
That's also going to be.
Either one or two things canhappen.
Either you can compartmentalizeand never focus on that.
You can have sex all damn dayand be busted all day, right.
Or you have sex all day or nothave sex at all, and never will
(42:36):
she orgasm, right?
There's so many things that areso much more important.
I mean, like I said before, thepie, what is the most important
, six inches is in between yourears.
Shut out the Dr Suju Hansen forsaying that.
Cassandra Jean (42:46):
Have you ever watched Avatar?
Mike Johnson (42:48):
Yeah.
Cassandra Jean (42:49):
You see, like when they're partners, they like
, merge their health together.
Yeah.
Mike Johnson (42:53):
Great analogy.
Cassandra Jean (42:53):
That's how I really think about sex and like,
even for me personally, likeI'm so cautious of like who I'm
intimate with because I reallyfeel like merging souls.
Mike Johnson (43:03):
Yes, no, there's.
I'll tell my girlfriend.
I will never talk about this onthe air Because it is extremely
controversial, for sure.
All I will say is look up aTulligene.
Ok, that's all I'm going to say, all right?
Roger Braxton (43:19):
For our audience I'm sure they will, and for us
as well.
Mike, there's a version ofeverything that you've explained
and gone into.
I think you see ways in whichboth the masculine yourself, the
feminine yourself, cass, youtoo can explore this version of
conversation that I'm not sureyou get in a single post that
you may post online, but I knowthat our audience as well as us,
(43:43):
we're very thankful toexperience it.
But I got to ask right Like doyou see a version of love that
is still out there, that theworld doesn't know about, or is
there a version of love that'sdying, and how can you connect
to that as a sexologist?
Mike Johnson (44:00):
Man, that's a homie question right there.
Roger Braxton (44:03):
I mean, these are our conversations.
I appreciate it.
Mike Johnson (44:07):
I appreciate it, I know that I appreciate that
question One second.
Cassandra Jean (44:12):
I'm like this is not on the list.
That's good, though that's good.
Mike Johnson (44:19):
I will start off by saying that everything is
80-20, right.
There is nothing that is solidwhen it comes to this
conversation.
I think that 100% of peopleabsolutely unequivocally desire,
want and, technically, if we'retalking about longevity of life
need love For sure.
I think that there areconditionings, biases and
(44:43):
judgments that we all have thatis preventing that love.
That's how I answer it.
Cassandra Jean (44:47):
Love.
I feel like unconditional loveis a really difficult thing too,
because I do feel like in lovethere are conditions, sometimes
right, like if you gain 45pounds and I'm like I don't know
if I want to be with you, thenI'm not really loving someone
unconditionally.
So I'm always exploring thedifferences between conditional
(45:09):
and unconditional love, becauseI still feel like we can have
unconditional love but need toshow up as the best version of
ourselves for our partners.
Roger Braxton (45:19):
She's crazy.
You say this because I justheard this quote and I want to
see what you both think of it.
Yeah, it was talking about loveand it was saying how being in
love is an actual agreementversus being in relationships
can also be a version ofcontractual.
And having those contractualrelationships where, if somebody
gains 45 pounds, as you say,that's your barrier to where
(45:43):
you're like or your boundarywhere you're like, you know I'm
out and that's not love.
But if you know that on thefront end you could live a very
happy life with that person, ifyou just know, hey, this is a
conditional love that we gotgoing versus being in love for
that long-haul journey is anactual agreement.
Mike Johnson (46:02):
Man.
I think I'm happy and Iappreciate this year.
I have two words that I'mleading with.
One is gratitude and greatfriends and the other is growth,
and both of those words aregoing to come out in my response
and what I was thinking whenyou guys were speaking, as I was
receiving what y'all weresaying.
I think that the old Mike as inlike the beginning of my
(46:26):
relationship with my girlfriendnow I was definitely having
those conditions, because lovefor sure is conditional,
absolutely.
I don't have a child, so thatwould be my unconditional love
being in a partner relationship.
There is conditions, I want tosay necessarily.
The old Mike would say I wantto add a condition of weight.
But the man I am today, in 2024and moving beyond, I think that
(46:47):
there is three things that I'mgoing to steal from now, where
I've got content that Idefinitely believe in when I
come home or in my life, andwhat I de-mass success is that I
have wealth, wealth and morethan one, just wealth of money,
wealth.
I have health and I have homefull of love.
If the woman I am in love withis net positive in that regard,
(47:14):
then I'm going to lookinternally for the vanity that I
have.
I think that's the best way Icould say that.
Now you damn right, my girlgained 200 pounds.
There he is, there he is.
I'm going to be 100 the wholeway.
I'm going to be 100 to you.
Roger Braxton (47:30):
This is how most of you made me feel like the
third person out in this groupchat.
Y'all two get so vulnerable anddirected.
I'm over here like yes, ok.
Mike Johnson (47:41):
Now it's good though.
It's good, though I feel that,right, my girl gained 100 pounds
, we all, hey.
And then there's things thatyou could do.
It's like hey, babe, I knowwhat size shoot my girl wear,
right, for example, I know herwhat it is, so I might buy her a
new pair of hoca shoes orsomething Sure Smart man yeah.
(48:03):
I'm going to do something.
I ain't going to be like youfat, I ain't going to say that,
but it's going to definitely belike maybe it's a lifestyle
change, right, what can I do?
I am a this is controversial,but in my house, I'm the leader
of my house, right For sure.
And so therefore, what are wedoing?
What is our lifestyle lookinglike when she gets off work?
Are we couch potatoes every dayOn the weekends?
(48:24):
What are we doing?
Are we couch potatoes?
Are we going to play pickleballevery weekend, like we do?
Now, right, what is thelifestyle?
What am I doing?
Am I aiding and abetting this?
I am huge on I just told mymentee this last week taking
massive ownership, right.
Cassandra Jean (48:40):
Yeah, are you saying you're the leader in the
relationship?
Because personally, I look atmen as the CEO and women as the
COO in relationships.
That's my take, but it soundslike you take a leadership role
in your relationship.
Mike Johnson (48:56):
I think of it.
I'm going to take it from theLatino community.
Cassandra Jean (48:59):
OK.
Mike Johnson (49:00):
The man is the head of the household.
The woman is the neck she runsshit.
Cassandra Jean (49:04):
That's why, yeah , she's operation, right, she
does she's everything.
Mike Johnson (49:08):
She's everything.
Like if we playing chess, keencan't do shit without his queen,
you know what I mean?
Like he's still that, keen,she's a huge part of the game,
she is the game.
You feel me?
And so I think of it like that.
When I say I'm the leader of myhousehold, like what that means
is, hey, what's our five-yearplan?
What do we want to do?
But she has all of her sayings.
(49:31):
She's like I want to do this,this and this and this and this
and this.
I bet I'm leading.
How we get that?
So now we're moving intomasculine and femininity.
Right, I come from the Vajrayanatradition.
It's a form of Tibetan tantraand in that tradition, how we
define masculinity andfemininity is masculinity means
skillful means.
(49:51):
Femininity means the ability tohave awareness and the ability
to sit within that and becreative.
From that, wow, right.
And so, based on thatdefinition, I personally abide
by that and love that.
So what I mean by I'm theleader of my relationship, my
girl got the yeah, my apology.
My girl got the she moving theneck.
(50:13):
Where are you going, babe?
Where do you want to go?
And then I bet I'm going to getit done.
My girl want to house.
I bet that's how I got to getthat for her.
Yeah, you know what I mean.
I'm a, you know, and I a lot ofthe homies don't like what I
got to say, because I'd be 100with them too.
I would like, bro, you wantthis, this and that, but what
you bring into the table, bro,yeah, and I'll really say that
to the homie, like to the malehomie they got female homies too
(50:35):
but to the male homies and I'llsay that to the female homies
too Like, what are you bringingto the table?
I'm all about accountability.
I guess that's the military inme.
Like, you can't have your cakeand eat it too, unless you can
first off afford a cake.
Roger Braxton (50:48):
Yeah.
Mike Johnson (50:48):
You know what I mean.
I'm not even talking aboutstrictly just monetary, but like
it comes down to those things.
Cassandra Jean (50:54):
Yeah, I mean both people have masculinity and
femininity.
Absolutely, I agree.
I mean I'm single, so like whenI'm going out there like
looking for guys, I try to payattention to that.
Mike Johnson (51:03):
Like you heard her , you just made it sound like a
meat market.
Roger Braxton (51:07):
See, I do a lot of the questions and I keep my
purpose of stuff out.
Cassandra Jean (51:12):
Yeah, but like, but for me, like looking at it,
like I feel like men areprotectors and providers in a
lot of ways.
And then women there's likethis intuitive aspect to us.
I just wanted to see what youthink about, like someone like
me saying that I feel like menare like protectors and
providers.
Mike Johnson (51:33):
I appreciate the question.
It's a great question.
I hear that all the time.
I think that I would prefer togo a bit more specific, right.
Cassandra Jean (51:41):
OK.
Mike Johnson (51:41):
So when we talk about providers, the question
that immediately pops up in myhead is what about those women
that the statistics are showing?
Women are graduating way higher, graduating from college way
higher than men.
Women are closing that pay gapquicker and quicker and quicker.
And we talk about the blackcommunity, dudes, the black men,
(52:02):
we ain't even on it.
Like the women are demolishingus already, yeah.
And so, therefore, when I hearthat it's like, well, then,
there is a discrepancy, rightFrom a monetary aspect, for sure
.
But then also I go into thenumbers and I go into the
science.
So when a woman makes more thana man, or, I'm sorry, when a
woman makes the same amountlet's say, you make 150, I make
(52:22):
160.
Well, that's the same amount,right?
Or I make 140, roughly the sameamount what happens is there is
a 50% chance that man is on aright side of dysfunctional
medicine.
Roger Braxton (52:33):
Wow, yeah, then if the woman is?
Mike Johnson (52:35):
making 70% of the household income.
That relationship is going toend.
Roger Braxton (52:43):
Yeah.
Mike Johnson (52:44):
And so when I hear that it's unfair to the women,
I really think that statement isunfair to women, because in my
head, when I'm thinking aboutthat, what's up with my baby?
That's like a lawyer, yeah.
So my baby that's anentrepreneur, a doctor, these
women, y'all are doing y'allthing, and so I think that we
have to change that a bit.
Now, in the security aspect,there's a lot of women that
could beat a lot of these dudesup.
(53:05):
Let me tell you Now, I'm now onthe bandwagon of, like I do
think that men are stronger onaverage.
I prefer it.
You need to be her emotionalsecurity for sure.
Yeah, I mean you need to bringthe emotional security there.
And if we're talking aboutprovider, if we're talking about
provider of financial, I thinkthat's how the conversation
(53:27):
normally goes, because I canspeak about the other aspects,
but let me just speak to what Ibelieve it is.
Is that about the financialaspect?
Cassandra Jean (53:32):
normally, I feel like it's both, like, I think
even just like providing a homeor stability or safety for like
your potential family right,because I feel like when we
choose a partner, we'retypically thinking of a family,
a home, and so I just, you know,when I say provide, I think I
(53:54):
just mean provide that safetyand that home, and obviously
finance is playing to that.
But I feel like, as long asyou're showing up as the best
version of you and doing whatyou can, having a job trying to
provide, that's being a providerand a protector right.
Mike Johnson (54:11):
Yeah, I think that sounds good in theory, but it
doesn't play out that way, andwhat I mean by that is, you know
, any women out here say if hecan't afford me, don't date me.
Roger Braxton (54:21):
Yeah, I think where I hear both of you is like
there's a sense of autonomythat exists in how you both
consider that decision.
Yeah, that's what it comes outto.
Mike Johnson (54:30):
It's within that relationship at the end of the
day, for sure.
But like to those women thatsay if he can't afford me, don't
date me.
That's the most dumb shit I'veever heard, because the people
that can't afford you more thanlikely they're smashing
everything.
Cassandra Jean (54:45):
Yeah, I agree and I think too.
The other thing is like women,I think, can sense this.
Not I guess I'm speaking formyself, but like if I'm dating
someone and let's say he'smaking 40,000 and I'm making
100,000, who cares?
Like?
But if I see this potential inhim, where he's really trying
and I believe in him, I woulddate them like 100%, because I'm
(55:09):
seeing something in you and youwanna grow with me and I know
we can do this together.
Roger Braxton (55:13):
And that commitment too.
It's like that may be asituation, that may be a moment
in time that may not be foreverFor sure.
So it's like if you could seethat core value, like that's so
it's valuable to you to say, foryou to say to our audience,
because I think your perspectiveis very important, but also
your insight as well.
It pairs very well with that.
But hey, I wanna also be verycareful, because I don't want
(55:36):
you giving away all your secretson the podcast.
Mike Johnson (55:39):
No, there's so many more we haven't even talked
about the first three lettersof a sexologist.
What I do actually that.
So there's so many more secrets.
What?
Roger Braxton (55:45):
I wanna do is make sure we give enough time
for you to really just make sureyou give your version of your
own kinda commercialadvertisement of Mike.
You're a part of so manydifferent worlds, you're doing
so many different things andthis is exactly what In the
Lobby is about to uncover moreabout you, to get to learn more
about who Mike actually is notjust a reality TV star and I
(56:07):
think in this uncovering, inthis episode, we know we have a
lot more to talk about, so wehope that we have the ability to
get you to come back on.
Is that something maybe you'llbe open to?
Mike Johnson (56:16):
Let's see that's the sales 101.
Cassandra Jean (56:18):
I'm like I have so many questions to ask him,
and that's what I love aboutdoing this podcast is we get to
go a deeper level with people,and I feel like your story is
gonna be so inspiring to peoplethat are listening and just
knowing that they can achievesuccess at their goals, their
dreams.
Roger Braxton (56:36):
Yeah, male and female.
Cassandra Jean (56:37):
Yeah, maybe someone might wanna be a
sexologist or need to see youseriously.
Roger Braxton (56:42):
You never know who you're motivating.
No, you really don't know howmany people you're probably
gonna touch through this episodewhere they may reach out to you
, create an inquiry to you toask some key questions that they
may be uncomfortable to ask toanother friend or to another
person.
That could be that possibleoption.
Yeah, we hope so.
Mike Johnson (56:58):
I mean, you asked about the things that I do.
The feeling scene is that veryplace right there to where you
can write into us anonymously oryou put your name and ask the
question.
I mean we got it goes out everysingle Thursday to our audience
.
We got-.
Roger Braxton (57:10):
We left Thursdays over here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah shut outThursday.
Mike Johnson (57:12):
You feel me Individual?
Today's newsletter, a cisgenderwoman wrote I want to be
polyamorous, but I want my mainpartner to be monogamous.
Wow, right, and she's fromOntario and we're gonna answer
the question tonight on ournewsletter, so People can
definitely ask any andeverything.
Roger Braxton (57:32):
I got you.
How do they contact you withthat?
Cassandra Jean (57:35):
Yeah, where can people stalk you?
That's what I'm gonna call it.
Where can people stalk you?
Contact you?
Roger Braxton (57:40):
I'm gonna use that with you guys.
Mike Johnson (57:41):
And you just check with me at Mike underscore
Johnson or IG or go tofeelingscenecom.
Okay.
Roger Braxton (57:47):
Yeah, so you know I'm a closer.
You know you didn't answer myquestion.
Mike Johnson (57:51):
You're gonna come back or what?
Oh, no, I got you for sure.
Okay, I got you for sure.
Cassandra Jean (57:54):
What do we always say about the lobby,
Roger?
Roger Braxton (57:57):
Hey look, Mike, there's one way we like to close
this out.
Yeah, and come back to thelobby, because you know it's
going down.
Cassandra Jean (58:04):
Oh no, thank you so much Like I really feel like
I could sit here forever andtalk to you Like not even
kidding I appreciate that, Mikewe appreciate it.
Hey guys, welcome to In the Lobby podcast.
Today in our lobby we have MikeJohnson.
We're so grateful to have youhere.
I know that you have afriendship with Roger, my
co-host over here, so I'm gonnalet him introduce you.
Roger Braxton (00:16):
Honestly, we're happy to have you, mike.
You know, I think the biggestthing is you're not only a good
friend, but you're a walkingbrand and you find a perfect way
to blend the two together.
You're an investor, you're abusinessman, but reality TV's
favorite face and Bachelor ofNations worst mistake for not
giving you your own season.
So, Mike, we're happy to haveyou here, man.
Thank you for the time.
Mike Johnson (00:36):
I appreciate that intro.
That was dope.
No one's ever said it like that.
I'm definitely happy to be hereand I'm grateful to be here to
be sitting with the two of youand to be in your space, so
thank you.
Cassandra Jean (00:46):
Yeah, we really wanna keep our podcast like
Austin based and so, like I knowthat you're a veteran, you're a
sexologist, you know you're.
Roger Braxton (00:57):
We're gonna get into that.
Cassandra Jean (00:58):
We're gonna get into all these things and we
wanted to talk to you and get toknow your story at like a
deeper level.
And I was just thinking,because we're keeping the
podcast Austin based a littlebit and just kind of trying to
bring the Austin communitytogether I wanted to know, like,
how did you end up here?
Were you born in Austin?
Like, what brought you here?
Mike Johnson (01:19):
Yeah, thank you, good question.
First off, I fucks with Austin.
Roger Braxton (01:25):
Like where else did you live too?
Mike Johnson (01:27):
I mean I've lived around the world.
Like I've lived around theworld.
I've been in like 55 countries.
I just, my girl and I just wasliving in Costa Rica.
It's past summer, summer beforeI was living in Columbia.
That's why I couldn't find you.
Yeah, I mean I'll be, I'maround the world somewhere, but
I was living in San Antonioactually prior to moving to
Austin.
I was there for like six, sevenyears and, yeah, cause the
(01:47):
military?
No, I had, I was living inLondon prior to moving to San
Antonio.
I was in the military overthere, but then I moved to San
Antonio as a civilian, okay, andI was working on bass though,
okay, and I was 25 working onbass.
And I have a personal thing I'mlike if you live somewhere for
seven years, that's your homenow, right?
Yeah, that's just how Ipersonally feel You're past the
(02:07):
half decade.
Roger Braxton (02:08):
Yeah, like you're like this is your new home,
right.
Mike Johnson (02:09):
Yeah, and I was like bro, I'm never gonna find a
wife here, like no offense toSanitonians, sure, it just was
too slow for me.
I mean, I was coming fromLondon and I moved to San
Antonio.
If y'all been in San Antonio asa single individual, it's not
like that spot.
Roger Braxton (02:24):
I think it's great to like raise a family.
Mike Johnson (02:26):
That's what is the spot for that.
Roger Braxton (02:28):
Yeah, but I could only imagine the dating
experiences for you, or evenjust being there as a single
individual, like were you boredevery day, I mean when I let's
be honest though there's stillstuff to do, man, I forgot about
this.
Mike Johnson (02:40):
When I actually moved to San Antonio, I was in a
relationship.
Roger Braxton (02:42):
Okay.
Mike Johnson (02:44):
Yeah, she's an English woman and she moved to
America with me.
Roger Braxton (02:47):
Love.
Mike Johnson (02:48):
And then.
So we were together for sometime and then we got a.
I said we broke up.
Sure, you see how serious Itake relationships.
Like I said it, like I wasabout to say divorce, right, we
got to know we didn't get thatwe never been married right, it
sounded like a healed man overthere.
Oh for sure You're right and so.
But we were together, but thenafter that it was just bro.
San Antonio nightlife is notthe move, but when it comes to
(03:12):
like saving money and it comesto having a wife and or a
husband and kids, it's the spotfor sure.
I love that.
I love that.
Cassandra Jean (03:20):
And I love San Antonio is like a tourist trap,
like I don't know.
I just think of the river walkand it's like a little bit
trashy or I don't know like.
Mike Johnson (03:28):
It's definitely a tourist spot, for sure.
I mean, I love Selena.
Cassandra Jean (03:31):
Yeah, oh, I love Selena.
Mike Johnson (03:32):
Selena loves, you know, and so therefore you can
go to the river walk and go tothe bridge that she was on in
the movie and I love that, andthen you can go to SeaWorld.
It's definitely a tourist spotas well.
Six flags, all of it it'stouristy for sure.
Roger Braxton (03:45):
So then, I guess that brings me to my question
Was it the boredom of SanAntonio that sparked you to
apply to be on the Bachelorette,or yeah, nah?
Mike Johnson (03:54):
So I'm gonna be super transparent.
I promise you all that I willdo this entire time.
Yeah, thank you.
After getting out of arelationship, I'm a little
heartbroken, you know.
Sure they say that men andwomen are different when they
get their heartbroken and I havenever lived in another body, I
just know.
For me it was terrible.
Yeah, and how long did you all?
date Only for like I don't know,18, 24 months, okay, and so
(04:19):
like not long at all, and but Iwas my first love Sure, and so
it really hit deep.
I am someone who I try to bepretty good in a relationship.
Roger Braxton (04:28):
Yeah.
Mike Johnson (04:29):
Not perfect, not at all.
Roger Braxton (04:30):
No, we're not perfect.
Mike Johnson (04:31):
Got a lot of things to do, but in terms of
growing.
But after we broke up I thefirst phase was, you know, hurt
all that stuff.
But like when I got back, good,I was in the streets, heavy,
heavy right and then Poor womenof San Antonio.
I was in the streets and then.
(04:52):
But then I remember I got outof the streets and I was like
man, I want to be in arelationship, right, sure, and I
wish my homie was here.
You met a Mark.
he lives in Seattle oh yeah, andhe's actually the one that put
him me on.
He I threw my phone one day atwork, right.
He was like what the hell wrongwith you?
And I was like, bro, all thesegirls always want to do is fuck.
(05:12):
And he bust out laughing.
He was like what guy says that?
Like, when there's no girls?
Like why would you say that?
Like, what?
Like, why would you say that?
And I was like, is it real?
Like I'm like, I want arelationship, I want to wife him
kids.
Roger Braxton (05:26):
And he was just laughing his ass off and me
genuinely knowing, mark, I knowhe probably asked you in the
question.
Yeah, you know, mark, with likea sincere level of like, no,
like, what do you mean?
Mike Johnson (05:35):
Yeah, like, yeah, mark, like why would you say
that?
But I was being very serious,like extremely serious, and
after him just dying for like 45minutes, like you're weird,
like why would you say that?
Cause he's like you're a guythat can gig her, why would you?
Cassandra Jean (05:49):
why?
How old were you at the time?
Mike Johnson (05:53):
20, at that time I was like 29.
Okay, yeah, I think I was like29, 30, probably 30.
And I'm old.
Yeah, I was like, I was like 30at the time.
And so a few weeks later, hehit me a Facebook message which
is funny, cause I don't evenlike be on Facebook like that,
no more.
Sure, but he sent me a Facebookmessage and it was a casting
(06:14):
call for the Bachelorette, andwell back to Mark man.
No sure Mark is the homie forshow for show and a lot of
things and a lot of things on,you know, on business, off
business.
But he sent me a casting callfor the Bachelorette and the,
funny enough, in my apartmentcomplex, my next door neighbor,
she thought I was an escort forone.
She thought I was an escort nowbecause like it was people in
(06:37):
and out, but because I wore asuit, I had like the dopest
apartment in that complex and Ialways came home like I was 11
or midnight, cause I worked mybutt off.
I was a wealth managementadvisor, for sure.
And so I'm like that's what youthought.
Your brother can't be a doctoror something.
Like you thought I was anescort, like I guess that's a
compliment.
She really thought that too.
But there was another younglady in the complex who had
(06:58):
bachelor watch parties and I hadnever in my life heard of the
bachelor or watched the bachelorat that time.
I went over one day, watched asingle episode.
She's like you gonna be thebachelor one day.
I'm like yeah, whatever.
Okay.
I'm like I'm thinking to my ownblack.
I got tats, now I got braids.
I'm like I'm a veryauthentically me.
That show doesn't seem likethey would appreciate my
individuality and so I brushedthat off.
(07:22):
And then, yeah, mark, he sentme the casting call and I was
off work that day.
Wow.
And so I was like I ain't gotnothing else to do, and so I
drove up to Houston.
It was at the aquarium inHouston and I wore a suit, cause
I didn't know what to do.
Sure, what do I wear Like?
Cassandra Jean (07:40):
hand-dressed casting.
Yeah, I know the wear.
Mike Johnson (07:41):
I mean, I'm a wealth management advisor, so we
wear suits every day at theoffice, and so I went up there
in a suit and it was like maybea hundred guys total and like
900 girls.
Roger Braxton (07:50):
Wow.
Mike Johnson (07:51):
And I knew it was gonna be a blessed day because
I'm a veteran, I'm a VA disabledveteran and I can park a
handicap and the aquarium waslike stupid fool.
So I parked in the handicappedspot but a dude in a van, an
older gentleman, pulled up and Isaw a gentleman next to him in
the patrician seat.
He said, hey, is thishandicapped spot taken?
He asked me while I'm in thehandicapped spot and I was like,
(08:13):
nah, you got it, and so I moved, let him take it.
As I'm walking back up after Iparked I see the dude in the
patrician seat was in awheelchair.
So I was like it made me feelgood, like yo, that's the right
thing to do, right.
Roger Braxton (08:24):
Yeah.
Cassandra Jean (08:24):
He was auditioning for the show.
Mike Johnson (08:26):
Oh wow, you know, it made me feel good too and it
made him chopping it up.
And at the casting call I wasso just myself.
I had a book with me how to WinFriends and Influence People.
I was just so 100, likeanswering questions Like I would
if it was just the two of you,yeah.
And the Houston news came andthey actually interviewed me and
(08:49):
people thought I was thebachelor.
Like it was moms and dadssending me their daughters Like
crazy.
I'm like hey, hey, hey, hey,hey, hey, hey, don't do that.
You know it was wild.
You get this cast in first.
Yeah, I know, right, it was sowild.
I'll never forget it.
Like bro, who said I was thebachelor, yeah, and that was the
very first one, but it's like atotal of like I want to do like
(09:11):
seven, eight different types ofinterviews, sure, and I say
different types because not allof them were an interviewer
asking the interview.
We questioned some of them.
Like hey, bro, he's coming toroom and kicking, yeah.
And like you don't know thatyou're being interviewed, but
it's just, people are talking toyou, you don't know who they
are, you think you're waitingfor somebody to come in, but
alone they're actuallyinterviewing and actually
(09:31):
they're the one interviewing youright.
No, it's really smart.
It's actually a technique.
I'm a steal.
The coolest one.
I'll skip over the rest.
The coolest interview idea forthat process was I ain't going
to say his name, but one of thehomies.
He's a producer for the show.
I want to say his name when Isay his name Because he's cool.
He listens to all of us andhe's like all right, we do the
little five-minute interview.
(09:52):
He's like are you ready for thenext room?
I'm like yeah what's up and I gointo another room and it's like
40, 45 people in the room, onechair at the front, 45, like
interrogating you almost.
Roger Braxton (10:04):
Like.
Cassandra Jean (10:05):
OK, got it.
Mike Johnson (10:06):
And.
Roger Braxton (10:07):
I'm painting the picture clearly for myself,
thank you.
Mike Johnson (10:10):
And so, and then there's a chair at the front.
So he's like hey, sit in thischair.
I go up, sit in the chair, andI'm nervous, not going to lie,
it's like 40, 45 people staringat me that you don't know.
Yeah, I ain't never seen noneof them people before, and
somebody says something to meand I forget what everybody said
.
I remember who he is.
He's actually high up in thebachelor world.
I ain't going to say his nameat all and I cracked a joke
(10:33):
about him.
I just started talking noise.
That's just what my naturaldefault is, I guess.
And so I'm like why you got theAbercrombie and Fitch shirt on
right and then we just go.
We'd banter a little bit backand forth and it was beautiful,
it was all of that.
Roger Braxton (10:46):
Well, I guess I dig into some of that.
To then also kind of ask you,cass as well have you come
across a lot of the otherbachelorette contestants or any
of the folks on the show inAustin?
Cassandra Jean (11:01):
Yeah, it's weird .
I've run into a few of them inAustin.
I mean, I don't reallyassociate with any of them, but
it seems like there is a goodamount of bachelorette and
bachelor contestants that havelanded in Austin, so but I mean
it's like did you all the peoplethat I guess are here in Austin
?
Roger Braxton (11:21):
did you all cast at the same time?
Mike Johnson (11:23):
No, my old roommate Connor.
He actually goes to Shout OutCollective.
He probably will hate that Isaid.
Cassandra Jean (11:31):
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Mike Johnson (11:34):
I'm sorry.
So yeah, connor and I we wereon the same season.
We actually were roommates onthe show and roommates in real
life.
He was the youngest, I was theoldest, and so, and he was the
tallest, I was the secondtallest, and so we became
Gohomi's in that time period oflife.
And yeah, so we were on thesame season.
But the other guys, like Daniel, zach, katie and some of the
(12:00):
other individuals that I've nowsince gone, now they were
different seasons, got it.
Cassandra Jean (12:03):
Got it.
What was like the process, yourmindset, like going into being
on the show, because I heardthis clip from you when I was
listening to some of yourcontent and I think you were
talking about the one thing youwish you would have done, or any
of the guys should do, is puton 15 pounds of muscle and treat
the women like how they wouldtreat their mom.
(12:24):
And I listened to that and Iwas like can't every guy just do
this?
Roger Braxton (12:28):
I feel like you're reading our text.
When I was trying to get on theshow.
Mike Johnson (12:32):
Now I specifically told that to Matt James.
He's the first Black-EverBachelor.
He's an amazing guy Because,matt, if y'all follow him, he
likes to run a lot Marathon guyand I'm like, bro, you've got to
be the Bachelor, homie.
I talk to people like I'm not ayes man.
I'm going to tell you the truth, like if you want to go on
America Idol and you can't sing,I'm like you know that you
(12:53):
might want to go on Tough Mudderor something.
You might want to go onsomething else.
And so for Matt, matt is anamazingly good looking guy.
I'm like, bro, you can put on15 pounds.
Tell me, the camera would likeit, right?
Cassandra Jean (13:04):
And he did.
Mike Johnson (13:05):
And him and his beautiful girlfriend Rachel are
doing amazing.
That's awesome.
And where are they based out ofnow?
Based out of everywhere?
Based out of the airport?
Cassandra Jean (13:15):
That's where they based out.
That's great.
New York, new York, I mean.
That's pretty cool though,because he's like physically
showing up as the best versionof himself.
It's like mentally affects youtoo.
So going into his season, heprobably felt really confident
and ready to find his person.
So I love that, for sure.
Roger Braxton (13:32):
Remember, we're in the lobby, so it's like we
want to make sure we get touncover those things that you
don't really get to see from anInstagram post or an interview
or any other show you've been on.
Let's just make sure we haveclarity.
Where the hell were you born,man?
Great question, great question.
It's like all y'all live thistraveling life, but where does
(13:53):
it start?
Where does the Mike Johnsonstory start?
Mike Johnson (13:56):
Yeah, on the side of a road in Colleen Texas.
Roger Braxton (13:58):
OK.
Mike Johnson (13:59):
OK, yeah, so I was born in Colleen.
Ok, I'm a military brat.
I went to a bunch of elementaryschools, lived as a child.
Mom or dad was military, myfather was OK and my sister's
father was military, and then wegot a bunch of military in the
family and so I grew up learninga little bit of German, lived
in Germany for a while, like 10,12 different American states
(14:23):
for some time, and so I think Ijust got the travel bug at an
early age, and so now it's justwhat I do.
I'm probably going to definitelyhave at least a movie by
Coastal or by Coastal or byHemisphere at some point in time
.
Roger Braxton (14:37):
Ok, and it kind of transitions to where we want
to kind of take some of thequestions as well, to where it's
like this is version of careerand life Right.
Like you may sound like eitherone of the lucky ones or one of
those maybe niche individuals onthe show where you already had
the travel bug and some peoplemay get used to that as they get
(14:58):
that fame.
How did you transition tohaving your personal life being
a wealth advisor, getting on theshow, getting all this fame at
a rapid pace, but then having tocome back home and when you
come back home, you got totransition back to the regular,
regular life that you had, butnow with all this fame backing
you at the same time.
Mike Johnson (15:20):
Bro, that's difficult for a lot of people.
I mean, that's like a truly amental health battle for a lot
of people Because, like onemoment, matter of fact, one of
the homies he's an alumni, Iain't gonna say his name.
Sure, he said he was a footballplayer and he was like, when I
lost that, sure, y'all couldhave a little process of
elimination, for God's sake.
I won't say nothing elsebecause he's a lot of football
players, but I won't say nothingelse.
(15:42):
But one thing he said to me waskind of dope.
He said it a few weeks ago.
He said when I lost thatfootball fame, it like I was
nobody again.
And then he said I'm startingto lose my bachelor fame, I'm
nobody again.
I was like, damn bro, you gotto find you, like be you at all
times.
Yeah, and so for me, I was 31years old when I went on the
show.
I was definitely, like I said,the older, I was one of the
(16:05):
oldest guys there, second oldest, but the first oldest.
He left quite early and so Ibecame an oldest for like the
majority of the time and for theworld, how old are you now?
I'm 36 now.
Cassandra Jean (16:13):
OK, you're not supposed to ask that question,
roger you know it cast.
Mike Johnson (16:18):
Tell his ass, tell his ass, damn, why should
Google a wall?
It's unfortunately Google awall, but now, it's definitely
different coming out of the show.
But to be succinct and lucid toyour question though, I haven't
had the three letter wordJ-O-B-I-E, d-i-e since 2019.
(16:41):
Wow, and people can be likeit's because of TV and I'd be
like bro.
Really think about it.
90% of people that go onreality TV they still working.
Roger Braxton (16:52):
Yeah, like over 90%.
Mike Johnson (16:54):
Yeah, it's an expiration date.
For sure you get caught 15minutes to find it for a reason,
but for me I was blessed enoughto, like I said, be a financial
advisor prior, stack in moneyand just be intelligent with my
dollars that I have.
And now I'm a small businessowner and investor.
Ok.
Cassandra Jean (17:09):
That's really cool and that kind of makes me
think about the misconceptionsof you being on the show and
then coming out of that.
I was talking to Roger lastweek about misconceptions about
me and I probably sounded like awhiny little blonde, but it's
true, like I feel like people,no matter what whether you're on
(17:29):
a reality TV show or you're thegirl next door people are going
to have misconceptions aboutyou.
So I'm just wondering how thoseaffected you and what the
things you were hearing frompeople?
Roger Braxton (17:42):
Yeah, and would they get back to you?
Or is this something you'd findout so much later?
Mike Johnson (17:47):
No, I think this leads to another thing as well,
like what I learned about myself, and so everything you hear
everything under the sun.
I mean, somebody called me agorilla and I'm trying to be
racist.
I'm like, OK, I have a gorillatattoo.
Roger Braxton (18:00):
So I'm glad you know that Represent.
Cassandra Jean (18:03):
I'm like OK represent.
Mike Johnson (18:04):
I'm glad you realize it.
Like a gorilla's a threat, yeah, and so I mean just everything
being called an inward hard-art.
I'm sorry for that experience.
I mean just death threats,everything that you could
possibly think of as negative.
I definitely received,especially because I'm more one
(18:24):
of the outspoken individuals.
For sure.
I believe that during momentsin life not even necessarily
during moments in life whensomething is affecting you and
your people and your culture andwhat you stand for whether it's
water that you care about ordogs that you care about and you
don't stand there for that,that means silence is acceptance
.
And so I am someone thatdefinitely is outspoken and
(18:47):
speaks my mind, and I definitelylost a lot of things because of
it.
But I gained so much more, andwhat I gained was not only
shedding the fat, ie theaudience, but gaining community.
More so, but even more so thanthat, I gained respect for
myself to stand up on my beliefs, and I became more educated so
(19:09):
I could back up my beliefs, sure.
Roger Braxton (19:11):
I mean, I guess you say it in a very well-spoken
manner, so like one, Iappreciate that.
I think I could definitelyalign with versions of that as
well.
But I think I have a greatfriendship amongst Cassandra and
I, where I think mental healthis a big concern, of just things
that we constantly want to justbounce off of each other.
(19:31):
Do you think that's ever beensomething that you needed to pay
more attention to?
Absolutely, and is thatsomething that kind of showed up
throughout being on theboush-eret?
Mike Johnson (19:45):
For when I say absolutely 100%, that's my
entire in-moment of life.
I think that for the rest of mydays that I'm breathing, mental
health is a part of myconversation period and we'll
get more into it as the podcastgoes on.
Roger Braxton (19:59):
I mean, we were the only guys reading at the
pool.
Facts, facts, facts, facts,100%, right, 100% for show.
Mike Johnson (20:04):
Shout out to Yana.
Shout out to Yana.
The pool was goodie, but allowus to play music.
Come on, Lobby music whack.
Yeah, there's some changes Inthe lobby music, though it's
good there we go what up.
You see how I did there what upFor me individually.
I remember one of the humbiesfrom the show.
Of course Michael says his name.
He made me realize something hesaid most of us that go on a
(20:28):
show let's be honest y'all don'tremember all their names, but
90% of people listening thatwatched the Bachelor don't even
remember my name.
If you don't watch the Bachelor, you never want to know who I
am right.
Roger Braxton (20:38):
Yeah.
Mike Johnson (20:39):
And it's just like three people that get
remembered.
You know what I mean.
And so we'll have a set of 27individuals.
You feel me, and so one of theindividuals that was a part of
the 27, in my opinion, has thebest body known to man, sure,
and I saw him in person.
I was like, bro, why are youunfollowing me, honey?
Yeah, and he was like to behonest with you, bro, watching
(21:00):
you and the people that are likefour times bigger than I am.
It's difficult because westarted at the exact same spot
with the exact same stuff, sure,but they like you and I, me,
and that's hard to deal with andI felt that and I held space
for him and that's really, truly, that's a risk, authentic,
right there.
Yeah, like, how can you imagine, like, having a twin?
(21:21):
And they just blow up, yeah,and you ain't shit, yeah, ain't
shit being from the outsideperspective right now, from your
own perspective, and so I felthim on that, and so I think that
is mental health is a hugeconversation coming off of TV.
I mean one of my homegirls thatLost her battle to mental
health.
She was, quite literally, queenherself.
(21:44):
Miss USA 2019, chester Christ.
Roger Braxton (21:48):
We talk for being vulnerable every single day and
I believe I saw pictures ofy'all posted on.
Mike Johnson (21:54):
Instagram.
Yeah, it's funny because INever posted our prior Wow and I
think I wrote about that, mybody, my caption.
I was like man, I just I Wish Iposted all of all of our little
clips dancing is just beingfunny, cute but I never did
because of she's a public figure.
(22:14):
I was a public figure and youknow you got deal with other BS
and so she lost her life in agreat deal because of the way
people come at her.
Yeah, came at her, and somental health will always be a
part of my conversation and Iwas like after the show.
Roger Braxton (22:31):
Yeah that was after the show.
Cassandra Jean (22:32):
Okay, I think you know I said this before, but
I think sometimes like some ofthe most beautiful people, or
like people you think are happy,or like hurting the most
Sometimes, and I'm sure peoplelooked at her and like she's was
so beautiful, you know, andlike no one knows what's going
on in our inner worlds you know,except us and it's so easy with
(22:54):
social media and everythingjust to attack people.
But there's something reallyvulnerable about being willing
to be yourself and like sharewho you are with the rest of the
world, because there's a lot ofpeople that could not handle
that right.
Like if someone Started kind ofgetting popular on social media
and people started talkingnegatively, a lot of people
(23:15):
would just shut down and give upand what you've done is really
successfully build a brand and aperspective and know that
people are gonna say things thatyou don't agree with, but
continue to be yourself and holdspace for that.
So I think that's prettyimpressive.
Yeah, cuz anyone says onenegative thing about me and I
(23:37):
call him crying.
Mike Johnson (23:39):
No, so, like about that one, I appreciate what you
said.
Thank you and sorry for yourloss.
Yeah, I, I appreciate that.
Yeah, I've.
Actually I've lost four peopleto suicide, from heist to high
school friends to when I was inthe military, my battle buddy.
I got some to Chesley and I'msorry for your loss as well.
I appreciate it and I thinkthat to what you said.
(24:00):
Cassandra, I Think we have badmath.
I really do what I mean by that, right, let's say you post a
picture, you get 10 comms, let'ssay eight of them a positive to
them, or like dog shit,negative, yeah, the eight is out
weighing the two negative,right, but all we do is pay
attention to the negative there.
That's bad math on us.
Yeah, you mean, and so I try tothink of for my mental, like I
(24:21):
got a billion tips, but that'sone of them.
Just like bro have better mathskills, did you not learn that
thing in like middle school?
Like you know, 10 minus 80,straight up, right, my stropping
knowledge Girls for us overhere it's just all about little
things like that.
And then the second thing forthat and this is a this is a
harder one to learn, but sure,that's not my business.
(24:44):
Right that your dumb ass is notmy business, bro.
Cassandra Jean (24:48):
Yeah.
Mike Johnson (24:49):
That's not my business.
Like, how you feel about me isnot my business, it just isn't.
You may be talking about me, Imay be the subject of your
conversation, but that's not mybusiness right now, if you my
homie, you hear some shit youshould tell me you gotta tell me
, but if there's just somebodytalking noise, that's not my
business.
Cassandra Jean (25:05):
I've heard like an influencer say that she just
leaves the bad comments there,perfectly like she doesn't
delete them because she's likeI'm just gonna shame them that
way whatever you said, you haveto live with that, because
that's a reflection of you, notme, and I was like I love that.
So, yeah, it has nothing to dowith you, but some people are
hurting, you know I.
Mike Johnson (25:26):
I definitely delete the the racial ones.
Cassandra Jean (25:28):
Yeah, yeah, I think my audience like 98 99%
Caucasian.
Mike Johnson (25:33):
I just don't want I.
Just don't like didn't in wordof my on my post.
Oh, you asked a questionearlier.
Like, what's the like?
The only thing that's evergotten to me ever, then it
brings to mind because of theracial aspect is that people
Didn't think that I like blackgirls.
Oh, no, that's the only thingthat got to me, the only thing
I'm like bro, can a brothergoing to be like can you?
(25:55):
Can you not be light-skinned?
Going to be what deemed asuccess and not like a Certain
race, like that's stupid.
Roger Braxton (26:03):
I mean no one.
It's no one's business as well,right, Like that's what alone.
How is somebody gonna know yourentire life based upon one
segment of it?
Mike Johnson (26:13):
That's a beautiful statement.
Yeah, it's self-explanatory,it's rhetorical.
That's a man.
That's good, yeah.
Cassandra Jean (26:18):
Do you think that like affected your dating,
like after being on thebachelorette, like just even
like black women, like thinkingmaybe he's not in, like you know
he was on this show.
There was this white girl.
Like how did that wholeperspective?
Mike Johnson (26:33):
being a black man.
Yeah, like yeah, I don't thinkthat it affected it at all.
When he came to white girls, Igot a day with any white girl.
I was like, hey, you know.
Roger Braxton (26:46):
But in the lobby world.
This is Mike being very honest.
Mike Johnson (26:51):
It was like he liked me, but, like for the
sisters, I think that Not evento be honest with you, not even
on a TV aspect, even beforegoing on TV, it was like you're
in an Air Force, you're afinancial advisor, you like, you
know, you know you wear suits,you.
It was just like an assumption,and it's a fair assumption to I
(27:11):
want to make for the record,like when we watch the NFL draft
, when we watch the NBA draft, Imean, how many times you see it
?
Yeah, you got 77% of theplayers being black and I would
say a good 80% of those 70, 80%of those players that are black,
they got a white girl, yeah,and so therefore it does
something to the black girlslike, well, men that are I put
(27:34):
in this category don't like me,and that's a.
That's terrible, that's sad, itreally is.
I Wish it wasn't that way.
For sure I really do, and mygirlfriend now is an African
woman.
I'm Absolutely in love with her.
Cassandra Jean (27:49):
She's dropped that gorgeous so I know I bet
she's even more beautiful, butshe's dropped that gorgeous, so
you're a very lucky guy.
Roger Braxton (27:56):
I'm a respectful friend, so I'll never make
comments towards your partner.
But I man, I'm Right.
Mike Johnson (28:02):
I'm happy to see you happy.
Roger Braxton (28:04):
I appreciate it resonates very well and y'all
both look like a true modelcouple Like yeah, you guys are
like out of a magazine.
Cassandra Jean (28:12):
I'm like how'd you find each other?
Mike Johnson (28:14):
again.
I'll be mark.
Cassandra Jean (28:16):
Mark mark.
Roger Braxton (28:17):
Shout out to mark .
Mike Johnson (28:23):
Mark is the man, seriously, but not so.
I mean, mark.
Actually I was living in Mexicoto learn Spanish, right?
Yeah, I moved it for sevenmonths learning Spanish and then
I moved to Colombia and then tolike practice the Spanish.
We're in Colombia, I move.
Roger Braxton (28:38):
This time I was in Cartagena, okay, nice and so
you've been yeah, I mean I'vebeen to Colombia a few times,
yeah, twice.
Cassandra Jean (28:47):
It's a lot of I have friends that go there for
bachelor party.
Mike Johnson (28:55):
I'll chase you First.
There's a lot of hookers, youain't?
You're right 100%.
And and they fucking gorgeous.
Cassandra Jean (29:06):
I was gonna say I think plastic surgery is cheap
there too.
Mike Johnson (29:10):
They gorgeous.
Naturally, they do got a lot ofplastic surgery because, like
they be having like the I callit Batman abs.
They be looking good.
Yeah, and he looked, turns tothe side, he's out of flubber.
He's like bro, what is going on?
It's so me and a woman, bothlike they have abs, and then
they turn to the side.
You're like on a flap, likeit's gonna do Jim.
But it's a lot of hookers overthere.
They are Name, I would say it'slike top three most beautiful
(29:36):
women I've seen as far as thecountry goes.
The others are like in a partof Africa and the Middle East,
like Qatar, saudi area, and thenI ain't gonna get into details
like that.
I'll tell you hey, watch it, gohere, I'll tell you where to go
.
But now it's a lot of hookers.
(29:57):
What I was doing there?
Honestly, me and Mark, we had aspot out there.
We were living there for abouta month, month and a half.
It was beautiful, right.
So I'll tell you we had a myfirst time ever having a mate.
Yo, have y'all ever had a mateLike this lady was cooking and
cooking.
Roger Braxton (30:12):
I don't know if I have access to the same money
you do.
Mike Johnson (30:15):
No, I'ma tell you, though I'll tell you, though,
I'm a financial advisor, right?
So I'll be looking at numbersand I'll be cheap.
I'm too cheap.
And so the homies, everybodywould say I'm way too cheap.
I live, stupid, below my means.
And she was cooking six meals aday for me, like four meals a
day for Mark, cleaned all thehouse I'm talking about like I
think it was $10 a day, wow.
Roger Braxton (30:36):
I was in love with this one, like yo, you were
so sweet.
Mike Johnson (30:38):
You know what I'm saying.
My first meal was at 6 am likedope.
So what we did there I don'twant to deviate from the
question.
I didn't hook her with nohooker, for the record.
That's why I came back to thatquestion, because I don't want
nobody to be thinking.
I mean, there's one thing.
Roger Braxton (30:52):
Me neither.
I don't want anyone to think.
Mike Johnson (30:53):
You feel me?
Yeah, you feel me.
There are women that are nothookers there too.
Like you know, honestly, thewomen that I met there, the ones
that I kicked it with were onewas a supermodel she you can
Google her, I'm not gonna sayher name right now, Sure.
And the other main one was adoctor, both Colombians.
And so I was, me and Mark wasliving their life.
(31:16):
I remember they were taking usaround everywhere, Like we went
to one of the finest restaurantsin South America and we had
Miss Columbia come up to thetable like kicking it with us.
We had it was just a ball.
I'm just saying like that, I'velived a beautiful life.
Cassandra Jean (31:33):
I was just gonna say I feel like you've really
got to experience a lot ofthings in your life and like in
your dating and everything, andso like, how long have you been
with your current partner?
Because it sounds like youspent a lot of time on like
self-discovery and dating andyour career, and then now you
have a person in your life.
So what does that kind of looklike?
(31:55):
Like how did you meet?
How long have you been dating?
Mike Johnson (31:59):
Yeah, we've been dating about 17 months 16 months
and while I be talking, I'mdating in months like I had a
kid, like I could just sayyou're gonna have something like
that.
Sure, you know, 17 months, youknow, but it's still fresh,
definitely fresh.
I always like to say in ourrelationship, we're still
building the foundation.
Right, that's what I think I'lltalk about in terms of months,
(32:20):
cause to me, foundation is themost important part of any
structure, right, the buildingthat we're in right now.
If it wasn't for the foundation, who forget the?
Who cares about the walls onthe second floor?
Yeah, the foundation ain'tthere.
That's just a fact, and so Ilook at relationships in that
same way.
But mommy Mark hooked us up.
He actually went to.
Since this is Austin where hewas at Mayfair, I don't really
(32:44):
go out that much at all, yeah.
Cassandra Jean (32:47):
I hear you, man, I hear you go hi.
Mike Johnson (32:49):
Shout out Mayfair.
Yeah, so he was at Mayfair andmy girl I'm so like.
Well, I don't know what my exdoes in life.
Cassandra Jean (32:57):
My girl.
No offense to her, my girl.
Mike Johnson (33:00):
She had just moved back to America, she was living
in Spain, and so it's kind ofwe already had some similarities
in that regard.
We both speak Spanish and so wegot a couple of similarities in
that regard.
But Mark tried to highlight her, and you know what I mean.
He tried to highlight her but,like shout out to Mark, Mark's
good for a lot of things.
Cassandra Jean (33:17):
He brought a dog .
Let's go, mark.
Mike Johnson (33:20):
You're on a hunger , you're on a hunger.
But he tried to highlight herand like she stood up and like
his height stopped, her heightkept going a while and so that
was like ugh number one.
You know you're a tall woman.
Cassandra Jean (33:34):
You know what I'm saying you have a story of
my life you don't have to tellme yeah, and then, like the
second part, that's really funny.
Mike Johnson (33:41):
It was like he tried to spin her and she had a
duck to go under his arm.
I was like, ooh, she spun Mark.
And so he was like, yeah, itain't gonna work.
And so he told her I got a dudethat she should probably meet.
You know, mark speaks highly ofmust, speak highly of him.
Absolutely True homies.
And then he slid me here IG andI hit her up a few weeks later.
Roger Braxton (34:04):
And I would even want to try to understand how
this works, with you having afoundationally growing
relationship, right?
How do you mix in your versionof being a sexologist and also
being in a relationship, forsure, Like a beautiful question.
Cassandra Jean (34:19):
I mean, you sound like you're really.
You know she must be lucky ifyou're a sexologist is what.
I was thinking because I wasn'teven sure what a sexologist was
, but maybe the next person Idate can be them too.
Roger Braxton (34:31):
Mike's going to be your new Mark.
Mike Johnson (34:34):
I mean, she happy for sure I am a sexologist,
don't make me blush.
I think the thing about being asexologist, being in a
relationship, is that you don't.
You want to make sure you havea strong boundary, and that
boundary is never want to comefrom a place of, like their
therapist right Love Like.
You never want to do that,because no one ever wants to
(34:55):
feel like they need help forsure.
You know what I mean and so it'salways a place of like.
I definitely know how to haveproper conversations like
non-violent communications, abig aspect of it, Absolutely,
and I would say that's thebiggest thing.
Roger Braxton (35:09):
Everything else is just you know it's fun.
So it sounds like there's alarge benefit to you being a
sexologist and being in arelationship Can you explain
what that is?
Cassandra Jean (35:19):
Yes, because I'm like to me.
I'm just like OK, does thatmean you're good at sex, or like
what is that?
Mike Johnson (35:24):
Yeah, I'm not saying you're bad at sex.
Cassandra Jean (35:26):
There's my call-house cast.
Mike Johnson (35:27):
Super direct.
No, fair for sure.
I think that it's like you knowwhat man I've grown so much
because I could have ate thatalive.
Like you threw the shot, shewas like I'm not a donkey.
Roger Braxton (35:40):
What's up you over here, like two years ago?
Mike Johnson (35:43):
No, not in that regard, but just like you threw
it out for me to say somethingcompletely out, but I'm not
going to say that at all.
What I will say, though, isthat I call myself a tantric
sexologist, meaning I'm atantrica In tantrica, most of a
lot of people that are ignorantnot ignorant in a negative way,
but ignorant in the definitionof ignorance which is the lack
(36:05):
of knowledge in regards tosomething A tantrica is also for
men as well as men and women,just because it has an A at the
end.
But as a tantric sexologist, Ifocus on ensuring that the
person that I'm speaking to,ensuring that my clients, feel
comfortable and safe in theirown body Love, but then also
that they can be intimate withothers but then intimate with
(36:27):
themselves.
And I'm not even talking aboutjust strictly sexual, because,
let's be honest, sex is easy butintimacy is difficult.
Absolutely Right, and so I helppeople, it's a commitment, yes
for sure, and it's morally notmorally, but more so a
commitment with himself, acommitment to growth, because I
think that, excuse me, I thinkwhat love is and being in love
(36:47):
with someone is that they'regoing to show every fucking
trauma that you have, absolutely, it's going to manifest in them
.
Roger Braxton (36:56):
It's a mirror.
Mike Johnson (36:57):
Yeah, it's a mirror, and so I think that, as
a sexologist, it's beautiful,because we can actually be
intimate without sex.
Yeah, makes sense, yeah, and sothat's different for a lot of
people.
Let's be honest, right and inthis day and age, we can smash
left and right, but the act ofactually when something comes up
, and listening to your body,hearing your body, being healthy
(37:21):
within your body.
My entire mission as asexologist is to grow our mental
health and weave that withsexual well-being.
So mental and sexual well-being, because they go hand in hand.
Cassandra Jean (37:32):
Yeah, I mean, I feel like sex is such a healing
experience if you're doing itwith the right person.
Mike Johnson (37:39):
Absolutely yeah, Sex is the not sex, I'd say, but
achieving orgasmic bliss.
And this is.
You can go Google me, you don'twant to believe me, and orgasm
is the only thing In the lobbyman.
We trust you.
That supersedes fear, pain,anxiety, depression, loneliness,
everything that few seconds ofthat orgasm is.
(38:03):
We call it bliss, because bliss, in our definition, is free
from suffering.
And that's what I want to do,and I want to help all my
clients and every one that Iencounter.
I want to help you.
Roger Braxton (38:12):
Yeah.
Mike Johnson (38:12):
I want to help you , I want to help myself and all
those listening to be free fromsuffering, because so many of us
have quarters all flooding ourbody, stress, flooding our body
with the day and age that welive in and that manifests in
different ways.
It can manifest in you cursingat your partner.
It can manifest in the rightside of dysfunction, performance
, anxiety, vaginosis, inabilityto have an orgasm.
(38:34):
It can manifest in all thesedifferent ways.
So a girl might be like a girlmay be talking to me oh, you're
a sexologist, tell all thesedudes they need how to fuck,
right, and I can go in for sureon him.
But then I can also go in onher and be like when was the
last time that you played withyourself?
Ok, when was the last time youplayed with yourself without a
toy?
When was the last time that youspoke your truth, got to know
(38:57):
your body?
When was the last time that yougot to know your body but also
your mind?
When was the last time that youjournaled in a positive way?
Sure, like.
I can go down a million thingsright For guys.
When guys be like yo Mike, youknow I'm getting kind of older,
bro, you 36, too.
You know how I get bettertestosterone.
I always start off with twothings One, how do you squat,
and how often do you squatAbsolutely?
And then two, how do youmeditate and how often do you
(39:20):
meditate?
Right, because they go a goodset.
A good Sex life is a goodphysical and mental health life.
Roger Braxton (39:29):
Absolutely.
Mike Johnson (39:30):
And that's my entire mission.
I'm actually working with theNational Coalition of Sexual
Health as this very second, anddoing my own, actually peer
reviewed, studied, with thefeeling scene in my company,
sure.
Cassandra Jean (39:41):
Wow, I brought this up earlier and Roger was
like, don't ask him thisquestion.
But, like, when you're workingwith your male clients, do you
ever like, you know, is Viagraever the option you know like,
because I don't know like tokeep your sex life like spicy
and if it's not working for you,is that something you ever
recommend?
(40:01):
Or you always go like theholistic approach?
Roger Braxton (40:03):
first.
Yeah, like, do you think themale or female, or is it one
sided or both sides wherethey're looking for a cheat code
versus actually the answer?
Cassandra Jean (40:11):
Well, at least males have Viagra.
What do I have?
Magic wine?
No, Well no.
Mike Johnson (40:16):
Seattle.
There's there's, as of therecording of this podcast.
There are medications for bothparties and all genders to help
in that area.
Cassandra Jean (40:24):
OK.
Mike Johnson (40:25):
To answer your question, though I think that,
well, to answer both of y'all'squestions.
I'm going to start with yourquestion, roger, because it goes
back to your question, cass.
Everyone wants the quick fixfor sure, period.
That's the society that we livein, that's the Western culture,
that's 2020s, that's what it isthe now, cass, to you that's a
(40:46):
bit of a more complex question Ican say yes, easy, right.
Yeah, bro, take some Viagra ifyou want to homie, but do you
want to get to the?
Do you want to band-aid or doyou want to get to the causal
level causal being root level ofwhat's going on?
Right, and we could do that aswell.
Normally it's a lifestyle thing,lifestyle being, mind, body,
spirit, sex.
(41:06):
Truly, that's normally what itis.
If you're 63, that's normallywhat it's going to be, a
lifestyle thing.
And you know how many times Ihear people Mel, mel's, say bro,
I took some Viagra or Cialis orwhatever the case may be, but
the feeling is different.
I'm the same.
Yeah, my dick is hard, pause,but like Thank you for the pause
(41:28):
.
Yeah, like my dick is hard, butI just like I'm not you know
raging you just mad at somethingBecause it's a different thing,
right?
And this is what people are notrealizing like the best sex.
People always are always askingas well.
Well, mike, what are thesecrets, what are the tips?
I always say step one it ain'tgoing to be like you know, the
(41:49):
come here, the emotion, we cando all that stuff, but that's
just, that's like down the line.
Step, one step one, your bodypart and your body part, my dick
.
They're.
They're in tennis, right.
Roger Braxton (42:02):
And so they can feel.
Mike Johnson (42:03):
Yeah, Like my girlfriend will say something
like even if my eyes are closed,I can feel when you're around a
certain part of my body there'sgot me so excited.
Cassandra Jean (42:11):
Yeah, she says it's got me, so there's actual
energy there, and so we can feelit.
Mike Johnson (42:13):
So there's an antenna there.
So before the pie I'm not goingto say which one- of y'all are,
like you know, one of y'alllike you have barriers up right.
That's also going to be.
Either one or two things canhappen.
Either you can compartmentalizeand never focus on that.
You can have sex all damn dayand be busted all day, right.
Or you have sex all day or nothave sex at all, and never will
(42:36):
she orgasm, right?
There's so many things that areso much more important.
I mean, like I said before, thepie, what is the most important
, six inches is in between yourears.
Shut out the Dr Suju Hansen forsaying that.
Cassandra Jean (42:46):
Have you ever watched Avatar?
Mike Johnson (42:48):
Yeah.
Cassandra Jean (42:49):
You see, like when they're partners, they like
, merge their health together.
Yeah.
Mike Johnson (42:53):
Great analogy.
Cassandra Jean (42:53):
That's how I really think about sex and like,
even for me personally, likeI'm so cautious of like who I'm
intimate with because I reallyfeel like merging souls.
Mike Johnson (43:03):
Yes, no, there's.
I'll tell my girlfriend.
I will never talk about this onthe air Because it is extremely
controversial, for sure.
All I will say is look up aTulligene.
Ok, that's all I'm going to say, all right?
Roger Braxton (43:19):
For our audience I'm sure they will, and for us
as well.
Mike, there's a version ofeverything that you've explained
and gone into.
I think you see ways in whichboth the masculine yourself, the
feminine yourself, cass, youtoo can explore this version of
conversation that I'm not sureyou get in a single post that
you may post online, but I knowthat our audience as well as us,
(43:43):
we're very thankful toexperience it.
But I got to ask right Like doyou see a version of love that
is still out there, that theworld doesn't know about, or is
there a version of love that'sdying, and how can you connect
to that as a sexologist?
Mike Johnson (44:00):
Man, that's a homie question right there.
Roger Braxton (44:03):
I mean, these are our conversations.
I appreciate it.
Mike Johnson (44:07):
I appreciate it, I know that I appreciate that
question One second.
Cassandra Jean (44:12):
I'm like this is not on the list.
That's good, though that's good.
Mike Johnson (44:19):
I will start off by saying that everything is
80-20, right.
There is nothing that is solidwhen it comes to this
conversation.
I think that 100% of peopleabsolutely unequivocally desire,
want and, technically, if we'retalking about longevity of life
need love For sure.
I think that there areconditionings, biases and
(44:43):
judgments that we all have thatis preventing that love.
That's how I answer it.
Cassandra Jean (44:47):
Love.
I feel like unconditional loveis a really difficult thing too,
because I do feel like in lovethere are conditions, sometimes
right, like if you gain 45pounds and I'm like I don't know
if I want to be with you, thenI'm not really loving someone
unconditionally.
So I'm always exploring thedifferences between conditional
(45:09):
and unconditional love, becauseI still feel like we can have
unconditional love but need toshow up as the best version of
ourselves for our partners.
Roger Braxton (45:19):
She's crazy.
You say this because I justheard this quote and I want to
see what you both think of it.
Yeah, it was talking about loveand it was saying how being in
love is an actual agreementversus being in relationships
can also be a version ofcontractual.
And having those contractualrelationships where, if somebody
gains 45 pounds, as you say,that's your barrier to where
(45:43):
you're like or your boundarywhere you're like, you know I'm
out and that's not love.
But if you know that on thefront end you could live a very
happy life with that person, ifyou just know, hey, this is a
conditional love that we gotgoing versus being in love for
that long-haul journey is anactual agreement.
Mike Johnson (46:02):
Man.
I think I'm happy and Iappreciate this year.
I have two words that I'mleading with.
One is gratitude and greatfriends and the other is growth,
and both of those words aregoing to come out in my response
and what I was thinking whenyou guys were speaking, as I was
receiving what y'all weresaying.
I think that the old Mike as inlike the beginning of my
(46:26):
relationship with my girlfriendnow I was definitely having
those conditions, because lovefor sure is conditional,
absolutely.
I don't have a child, so thatwould be my unconditional love
being in a partner relationship.
There is conditions, I want tosay necessarily.
The old Mike would say I wantto add a condition of weight.
But the man I am today, in 2024and moving beyond, I think that
(46:47):
there is three things that I'mgoing to steal from now, where
I've got content that Idefinitely believe in when I
come home or in my life, andwhat I de-mass success is that I
have wealth, wealth and morethan one, just wealth of money,
wealth.
I have health and I have homefull of love.
If the woman I am in love withis net positive in that regard,
(47:14):
then I'm going to lookinternally for the vanity that I
have.
I think that's the best way Icould say that.
Now you damn right, my girlgained 200 pounds.
There he is, there he is.
I'm going to be 100 the wholeway.
I'm going to be 100 to you.
Roger Braxton (47:30):
This is how most of you made me feel like the
third person out in this groupchat.
Y'all two get so vulnerable anddirected.
I'm over here like yes, ok.
Mike Johnson (47:41):
Now it's good though.
It's good, though I feel that,right, my girl gained 100 pounds
, we all, hey.
And then there's things thatyou could do.
It's like hey, babe, I knowwhat size shoot my girl wear,
right, for example, I know herwhat it is, so I might buy her a
new pair of hoca shoes orsomething Sure Smart man yeah.
(48:03):
I'm going to do something.
I ain't going to be like youfat, I ain't going to say that,
but it's going to definitely belike maybe it's a lifestyle
change, right, what can I do?
I am a this is controversial,but in my house, I'm the leader
of my house, right For sure.
And so therefore, what are wedoing?
What is our lifestyle lookinglike when she gets off work?
Are we couch potatoes every dayOn the weekends?
(48:24):
What are we doing?
Are we couch potatoes?
Are we going to play pickleballevery weekend, like we do?
Now, right, what is thelifestyle?
What am I doing?
Am I aiding and abetting this?
I am huge on I just told mymentee this last week taking
massive ownership, right.
Cassandra Jean (48:40):
Yeah, are you saying you're the leader in the
relationship?
Because personally, I look atmen as the CEO and women as the
COO in relationships.
That's my take, but it soundslike you take a leadership role
in your relationship.
Mike Johnson (48:56):
I think of it.
I'm going to take it from theLatino community.
Cassandra Jean (48:59):
OK.
Mike Johnson (49:00):
The man is the head of the household.
The woman is the neck she runsshit.
Cassandra Jean (49:04):
That's why, yeah , she's operation, right, she
does she's everything.
Mike Johnson (49:08):
She's everything.
Like if we playing chess, keencan't do shit without his queen,
you know what I mean?
Like he's still that, keen,she's a huge part of the game,
she is the game.
You feel me?
And so I think of it like that.
When I say I'm the leader of myhousehold, like what that means
is, hey, what's our five-yearplan?
What do we want to do?
But she has all of her sayings.
(49:31):
She's like I want to do this,this and this and this and this
and this.
I bet I'm leading.
How we get that?
So now we're moving intomasculine and femininity.
Right, I come from the Vajrayanatradition.
It's a form of Tibetan tantraand in that tradition, how we
define masculinity andfemininity is masculinity means
skillful means.
(49:51):
Femininity means the ability tohave awareness and the ability
to sit within that and becreative.
From that, wow, right.
And so, based on thatdefinition, I personally abide
by that and love that.
So what I mean by I'm theleader of my relationship, my
girl got the yeah, my apology.
My girl got the she moving theneck.
(50:13):
Where are you going, babe?
Where do you want to go?
And then I bet I'm going to getit done.
My girl want to house.
I bet that's how I got to getthat for her.
Yeah, you know what I mean.
I'm a, you know, and I a lot ofthe homies don't like what I
got to say, because I'd be 100with them too.
I would like, bro, you wantthis, this and that, but what
you bring into the table, bro,yeah, and I'll really say that
to the homie, like to the malehomie they got female homies too
(50:35):
but to the male homies and I'llsay that to the female homies
too Like, what are you bringingto the table?
I'm all about accountability.
I guess that's the military inme.
Like, you can't have your cakeand eat it too, unless you can
first off afford a cake.
Roger Braxton (50:48):
Yeah.
Mike Johnson (50:48):
You know what I mean.
I'm not even talking aboutstrictly just monetary, but like
it comes down to those things.
Cassandra Jean (50:54):
Yeah, I mean both people have masculinity and
femininity.
Absolutely, I agree.
I mean I'm single, so like whenI'm going out there like
looking for guys, I try to payattention to that.
Mike Johnson (51:03):
Like you heard her , you just made it sound like a
meat market.
Roger Braxton (51:07):
See, I do a lot of the questions and I keep my
purpose of stuff out.
Cassandra Jean (51:12):
Yeah, but like, but for me, like looking at it,
like I feel like men areprotectors and providers in a
lot of ways.
And then women there's likethis intuitive aspect to us.
I just wanted to see what youthink about, like someone like
me saying that I feel like menare like protectors and
providers.
Mike Johnson (51:33):
I appreciate the question.
It's a great question.
I hear that all the time.
I think that I would prefer togo a bit more specific, right.
Cassandra Jean (51:41):
OK.
Mike Johnson (51:41):
So when we talk about providers, the question
that immediately pops up in myhead is what about those women
that the statistics are showing?
Women are graduating way higher, graduating from college way
higher than men.
Women are closing that pay gapquicker and quicker and quicker.
And we talk about the blackcommunity, dudes, the black men,
(52:02):
we ain't even on it.
Like the women are demolishingus already, yeah.
And so, therefore, when I hearthat it's like, well, then,
there is a discrepancy, rightFrom a monetary aspect, for sure
.
But then also I go into thenumbers and I go into the
science.
So when a woman makes more thana man, or, I'm sorry, when a
woman makes the same amountlet's say, you make 150, I make
(52:22):
160.
Well, that's the same amount,right?
Or I make 140, roughly the sameamount what happens is there is
a 50% chance that man is on aright side of dysfunctional
medicine.
Roger Braxton (52:33):
Wow, yeah, then if the woman is?
Mike Johnson (52:35):
making 70% of the household income.
That relationship is going toend.
Roger Braxton (52:43):
Yeah.
Mike Johnson (52:44):
And so when I hear that it's unfair to the women,
I really think that statement isunfair to women, because in my
head, when I'm thinking aboutthat, what's up with my baby?
That's like a lawyer, yeah.
So my baby that's anentrepreneur, a doctor, these
women, y'all are doing y'allthing, and so I think that we
have to change that a bit.
Now, in the security aspect,there's a lot of women that
could beat a lot of these dudesup.
(53:05):
Let me tell you Now, I'm now onthe bandwagon of, like I do
think that men are stronger onaverage.
I prefer it.
You need to be her emotionalsecurity for sure.
Yeah, I mean you need to bringthe emotional security there.
And if we're talking aboutprovider, if we're talking about
provider of financial, I thinkthat's how the conversation
(53:27):
normally goes, because I canspeak about the other aspects,
but let me just speak to what Ibelieve it is.
Is that about the financialaspect?
Cassandra Jean (53:32):
normally, I feel like it's both, like, I think
even just like providing a homeor stability or safety for like
your potential family right,because I feel like when we
choose a partner, we'retypically thinking of a family,
a home, and so I just, you know,when I say provide, I think I
(53:54):
just mean provide that safetyand that home, and obviously
finance is playing to that.
But I feel like, as long asyou're showing up as the best
version of you and doing whatyou can, having a job trying to
provide, that's being a providerand a protector right.
Mike Johnson (54:11):
Yeah, I think that sounds good in theory, but it
doesn't play out that way, andwhat I mean by that is, you know
, any women out here say if hecan't afford me, don't date me.
Roger Braxton (54:21):
Yeah, I think where I hear both of you is like
there's a sense of autonomythat exists in how you both
consider that decision.
Yeah, that's what it comes outto.
Mike Johnson (54:30):
It's within that relationship at the end of the
day, for sure.
But like to those women thatsay if he can't afford me, don't
date me.
That's the most dumb shit I'veever heard, because the people
that can't afford you more thanlikely they're smashing
everything.
Cassandra Jean (54:45):
Yeah, I agree and I think too.
The other thing is like women,I think, can sense this.
Not I guess I'm speaking formyself, but like if I'm dating
someone and let's say he'smaking 40,000 and I'm making
100,000, who cares?
Like?
But if I see this potential inhim, where he's really trying
and I believe in him, I woulddate them like 100%, because I'm
(55:09):
seeing something in you and youwanna grow with me and I know
we can do this together.
Roger Braxton (55:13):
And that commitment too.
It's like that may be asituation, that may be a moment
in time that may not be foreverFor sure.
So it's like if you could seethat core value, like that's so
it's valuable to you to say, foryou to say to our audience,
because I think your perspectiveis very important, but also
your insight as well.
It pairs very well with that.
But hey, I wanna also be verycareful, because I don't want
(55:36):
you giving away all your secretson the podcast.
Mike Johnson (55:39):
No, there's so many more we haven't even talked
about the first three lettersof a sexologist.
What I do actually that.
So there's so many more secrets.
What?
Roger Braxton (55:45):
I wanna do is make sure we give enough time
for you to really just make sureyou give your version of your
own kinda commercialadvertisement of Mike.
You're a part of so manydifferent worlds, you're doing
so many different things andthis is exactly what In the
Lobby is about to uncover moreabout you, to get to learn more
about who Mike actually is notjust a reality TV star and I
(56:07):
think in this uncovering, inthis episode, we know we have a
lot more to talk about, so wehope that we have the ability to
get you to come back on.
Is that something maybe you'llbe open to?
Mike Johnson (56:16):
Let's see that's the sales 101.
Cassandra Jean (56:18):
I'm like I have so many questions to ask him,
and that's what I love aboutdoing this podcast is we get to
go a deeper level with people,and I feel like your story is
gonna be so inspiring to peoplethat are listening and just
knowing that they can achievesuccess at their goals, their
dreams.
Roger Braxton (56:36):
Yeah, male and female.
Cassandra Jean (56:37):
Yeah, maybe someone might wanna be a
sexologist or need to see youseriously.
Roger Braxton (56:42):
You never know who you're motivating.
No, you really don't know howmany people you're probably
gonna touch through this episodewhere they may reach out to you
, create an inquiry to you toask some key questions that they
may be uncomfortable to ask toanother friend or to another
person.
That could be that possibleoption.
Yeah, we hope so.
Mike Johnson (56:58):
I mean, you asked about the things that I do.
The feeling scene is that veryplace right there to where you
can write into us anonymously oryou put your name and ask the
question.
I mean we got it goes out everysingle Thursday to our audience
.
We got-.
Roger Braxton (57:10):
We left Thursdays over here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah shut outThursday.
Mike Johnson (57:12):
You feel me Individual?
Today's newsletter, a cisgenderwoman wrote I want to be
polyamorous, but I want my mainpartner to be monogamous.
Wow, right, and she's fromOntario and we're gonna answer
the question tonight on ournewsletter, so People can
definitely ask any andeverything.
Roger Braxton (57:32):
I got you.
How do they contact you withthat?
Cassandra Jean (57:35):
Yeah, where can people stalk you?
That's what I'm gonna call it.
Where can people stalk you?
Contact you?
Roger Braxton (57:40):
I'm gonna use that with you guys.
Mike Johnson (57:41):
And you just check with me at Mike underscore
Johnson or IG or go tofeelingscenecom.
Okay.
Roger Braxton (57:47):
Yeah, so you know I'm a closer.
You know you didn't answer myquestion.
Mike Johnson (57:51):
You're gonna come back or what?
Oh, no, I got you for sure.
Okay, I got you for sure.
Cassandra Jean (57:54):
What do we always say about the lobby,
Roger?
Roger Braxton (57:57):
Hey look, Mike, there's one way we like to close
this out.
Yeah, and come back to thelobby, because you know it's
going down.
Cassandra Jean (58:04):
Oh no, thank you so much Like I really feel like
I could sit here forever andtalk to you Like not even
kidding I appreciate that, Mikewe appreciate it.
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On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!