March 20, 2025 • 35 mins
In this episode of Paper Napkin Wisdom, I sit down with Luis Velasquez, a leadership coach, resilience expert, and author of Ordinary Resilience. Luis has spent years studying and coaching high-achieving professionals on the power of resilience in leadership. His paper napkin wisdom? Resilience is equal to (Commitment + Persistence) multiplied by Optimism.
This simple yet profound equation speaks volumes about what it takes to succeed as an entrepreneur and leader. Luis breaks it down: commitment and persistence are essential, but their impact is exponentially amplified when fueled by optimism.
The Resilience Equation: Commitment + Persistence x Optimism
Resilience is often mistaken for the ability to “tough it out.” But according to Luis, resilience is a process, not an event. It’s about continuously showing up, refining your approach, and maintaining a belief that better days are ahead.
"Commitment is knowing why you do what you do. Persistence is showing up when things get tough. But without optimism, you won't see the opportunity in the challenge."
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Govindh Jayaraman (00:02):
Luis Velasquez. Welcome to paper! Napkin wisdom. I'm excited to have you here with me today.
Luis Velasquez (00:07):
Thank you so much. I mean, I really appreciate the you know, the the opportunity to to be here with you today.
Govindh Jayaraman (00:13):
Yeah. So you shared with me an interesting paper napkin. And I'm going to do my best to describe it for everybody listening. Obviously check it out online. It says, resilience is equal to commitment plus persistence. And there's brackets. So it's an equation
commitment plus persistence in brackets. The whole thing. Times optimism, and there's a circle around the whole thing like a cloud. Why did you share that with me?
Luis Velasquez (00:42):
Well, there are 2 reasons. Number one, because that is the the subject of my book, ordinary resilience and number 2 is because it has a
a lot of emotional connection in my journey as a human being, and my dad and many of the people that I have coaching, you know, and as a professional coach right now.
(01:05):
so it is a it. It is something that I
one to bring to the world. You know what is resilience is commitment, persistence, times, optimism.
Govindh Jayaraman (01:17):
So how did you come to experience this for yourself, Lynn?
Luis Velasquez (01:23):
Well, you know, I mean, so I'll give you a little background, you know. Quick background. So I grew up in Guatemala, Central America, in a time that was full of war political worth, you know, the Cold War wasn't fought in the United States or Russia. It was fought in Latin America. So I grew up at that time. In addition to that, you know, I grew up in extreme poverty.
(01:46):
Somehow I made it to the United States through a scholarship and got a Phd. My dream was become a professor.
Everything was going well until I got blessed with a brain tumor.
and during that brain tumor, you know, I long story short, I my professional dreams didn't survive, nor my marriage. But my but I survived the tumor.
(02:15):
and during that process, you know, I'm
I started, you know, thinking, what am I going to do? How am I going to do this? How else I want to survive this situation, and I started running as a recovery, you know. In fact, I call my recovery a Marathon training.
and I started running, and I run one marathon, and then I run another one, and I run almost 100 marathons, including several with Ironman, including Ironman triathlons and ultra marathons.
(02:47):
got it. A lot of people tell me. My God, you're so resilient, you know. How do you do it? You know, because my life has been up and down a lot of suffering a lot of, you know, really some extreme things that are happening to me.
And in my mind I was thinking, there's nothing special about me. I just do it just just because I do it. There is. I have been nothing else, no training on anything. I just did what it was natural to me.
(03:14):
While I was coaching I realized that we all have access to these 3 things is commitment being committed to something being persistent and being optimistic. Now, resilience, the way I see it. Resilience is, is an outcome, you know. People say resilience is how you bounce back is recovering is doing that, but there is no much information about what is happening to you
(03:39):
during
things that are going bad or or or hard times, and and the way I see it is. Resilience is these 3 things when you're happening, and we all have access to it.
What I mean by that is that resilience is not extraordinary. Resilience is ordinary. We all have access to these things. And and and so that's you know. That's the origin of of this, you know.
(04:07):
formula. Let's put it that way, which I hope is
it's it's what I have found is that it's a it's an Aha moment for many people that I talk about it
with.
Govindh Jayaraman (04:18):
So I think there's a lot that you said 1st of all, and I wanna I wanna make sure that we go through all of it because you shared an incredible story.
for people don't know. I mean, Guatemala has been a country that's been ravaged by political war for many years, and when you talk about extreme poverty, there are people who are listening who may have a sense of what that means. But I don't think everybody does. I mean my father came from a situation where it may sound familiar, but he had to study by borrowing other people's books and reading them under the streetlights because they didn't have lamp oil.
(04:53):
What? What does extreme poverty mean in your situation? Where did you come from?
Luis Velasquez (04:58):
Well, you know I mean my dad was a truck driver.
you know, and he will make $25 a a month.
My mom was a seamstress, and she will her. I think that she will make like 75 cents a day or something along those lines, you know. Sometimes we will know. I will not think about the question sometimes. Wasn't, what are we going to have breakfast today? The question was, are we going to have a breakfast today.
(05:21):
Yeah. Our house had no floor, you know, and sometimes we had to go.
you know, one meal a day, you know. I mean my. Our books are notebooks. My mate doesn't know books, you know. He will get some paper, and he will sue them so we can actually, you know, have some something to write on, but you know
(05:45):
the one thing that I want to add to that is that I had a very child happy childhood, you know, looking back, you know, I always, you know, talk to my brothers and sisters. The reality is that we were in the very, very dire conditions. Yet we were so happy, you know, as a family, and I give my dad a my dad and my mom. You know the credit for raising us with a lot of agency.
(06:13):
and what I mean by that is that my dad will you know every time that we will not
we will. We didn't like something. His question was, What are you going to do about it?
What are you going to do about it?
And that time, instead of complaining, we start thinking about, what are we gonna do about this? And I give that
the reason what I am today.
Govindh Jayaraman (06:36):
I love that the agency that you talk about that your father gave you
about what are you going to do about it?
He showed you that, too, right by sewing together your notebooks with paper that he brought together right? He like this is this is
they? They walked the walk. They didn't just tell you do this thing. They they empowered you by paving the road with effort and examples. Didn't they.
Luis Velasquez (07:05):
Absolutely yeah, to make it. To make it more interesting, my dad had a horrible accident when I was in. I don't know. I was 13 years old
on
when he was recovering from it, you know, from the accident, I mean he he lost his ability to walk for about, you know, 2 years and so my mom had to. I mean, we had. We suffered at that time, you know, in fact, that we went to live with different people because my mom couldn't afford to keep us together.
(07:36):
And then my dad made a made a commitment and he said, I am gonna get better.
I am going to make build my own business. I'm going to send you to university. I'm going to buy a house, and we were laughing about it because he couldn't do it when he was healthy.
But guess what he did it, you know. I mean, when he came back, you know he was so committed to doing that that he became a very successful entrepreneur in my hometown, you know. Just to give you an example, as I said, you know the way we grew up is not the way my little sister grew up.
(08:14):
You know. My! When my little sister went to college the 1st thing that my dad did is he? He bought her a car and a house.
you know. So, Princess, you know.
Govindh Jayaraman (08:24):
Yeah.
Luis Velasquez (08:25):
To going back to to me, to me when I was in my issue with my brain tumor. You know I had that
inspiration from my dad.
and I knew that the 1st thing that he did is to make a commitment to get better. And that's exactly what I did with myself, too. I said. I need to get better. I need to get better, and to me.
Govindh Jayaraman (08:46):
Powerful like. How powerful is that because one of the things that I think is really incredible about that is not only did you learn agency from your father. But you learned that change happens like that. It doesn't happen. So people think, Oh, I'll go on this journey of 5 years, and I'm going to change. No. He changed that moment from the truck driver
(09:07):
to the entrepreneur, and when he did that the world around him changed. He changed.
Luis Velasquez (09:16):
Absolutely. And you know I mean one of the elements of resilience. What I think the pillars of resilience is the number one is, embrace the suck.
Govindh Jayaraman (09:25):
Yeah.
Luis Velasquez (09:26):
You know, accept the challenge, and that is reality is that sometimes you know it is where I am. That's it. All I have is what I have right now, and the reality is that we already have everything that we need to take the 1st step.
So, my dad, you know to your point he made. He didn't change overnight, but he make the decision, the commitment
(09:48):
to start the journey just like myself when I you know when I, when when I literally, when I was at the bottom of of of my journey and during the brain tumor experience, you know.
I made a commitment to, you know, to get better, and to me getting better at that time was to get my health back, and the only thing that I could do is to start my recovery, and that's how I refer my recovery to my Marathon training.
Govindh Jayaraman (10:16):
Yeah. So I don't want to go too far advanced, because, you know. So we're in Guatemala. Your father demonstrates agency, not just through his words and action. Along with your mother, you have this incredible journey, the experience watching him change, watching the world around him change as he changes, and then you say, somehow he made it to America. Well, it wasn't somehow
(10:45):
what was the. Somehow there was a story there. I think.
Luis Velasquez (10:49):
Yeah. So so
I went to a school. That was what they call a terminal school, you know. It was a. It was a school where they prepare you to get a job, or, you know, trade school for them.
Govindh Jayaraman (11:05):
Trade school is what they'd call it here, right.
Luis Velasquez (11:07):
And so university for me wasn't a
at that time. It wasn't an option, you know. I just wanted to, you know, work. And I started looking for jobs. You know, I started visiting places. Where can I get a job? And I went to a foundation, an agricultural foundation, and see if there was a job, and they told me, no, there is. No, we don't have a job, but we have some scholarships
(11:32):
to the United States, you know applications at the end of the world. What happened was that the United States Henry Kissinger created this program that it was called Scholarships for peace, and the idea was to bring people here after the war, and then train them that you know, like.
(11:55):
teach them English, and then send them back to so they can become beacons of light beacons of change. And that's exactly what happened to me. So I came and went to a community college in California.
But what that did to Miko
is transformational, because back home my world ended at the end of my village. You know my world ended at the end of my town. You know the world and the poverty to me that was normal, you know. That was the way I live.
(12:26):
When I came here I realized that there was so much I could do. There's so much that I could take advantage of. So I you know, I finished my program. I went back to fulfill my commitment of staying in Guatemala for a few years, and then I decided to come back and look for scholarships again, and I got another scholarship to Florida, A. And M. University. I don't know if you're familiar with that.
Govindh Jayaraman (12:53):
Hmm.
Luis Velasquez (12:54):
And Florida State University. Got a master's degree there on plant biotechnology, and did a Phd. And
horticulture, botany and molecular plant biology at Michigan State, and became a professor there.
And that's where you know I was. I thought that I had it all done when the tumor came.
Govindh Jayaraman (13:20):
And you said, and you said something very interesting. When you 1st talked about your brain tumor in this conversation you said you were blessed
with a brain tumor.
Why did you say that.
And you meant it like when you when you said it. You meant it.
Luis Velasquez (13:42):
I did. I did, you know. I even have it. A funny name for it. I call it my precious.
Govindh Jayaraman (13:47):
That's great lord of the rings.
Luis Velasquez (13:50):
When I got to Princeton, you know the Lord of the Rings movies were, you know, big. So you know they remember. I don't know if you saw, but you know.
Govindh Jayaraman (13:58):
Is Gollum. And then, my, yeah.
Luis Velasquez (14:00):
Is precious, and the and the idea is that it's something that I can carry all by myself.
that that I need to take care of it for myself.
And what I mean by that is that all? What I am today was not despite
(14:20):
that I had that tumor, but it was because it's because of the tumor.
And I think that a lot of times, you know, when people that I coach is like people, they say, oh, if I I wish I didn't have that. I wish I didn't have this and that. And the reality is that the question that I ask them sometimes is, what can you do today? So 40 years from now, you can say that this crisis that you're going through right now is the best thing that happened to you.
(14:44):
For me the brain tumor is the best thing that ever happened to me.
Govindh Jayaraman (14:50):
Yeah. And and I think it's it's this core philosophy. That sort of comes from you.
which is that you embrace challenges as if you have chosen them yourself.
and because ultimately we have right, we we, if you embrace challenges, if you've chosen them yourself.
you can approach it with gratitude and intention as opposed to with resistance. And when we resist against it, we're creating countervailing forces as opposed to using the momentum of the challenge to move us through the learning right? Isn't that the core of what you're saying here? And we're going to get into the equation a little bit. But that's really what the core of the equation is, isn't it?
Luis Velasquez (15:30):
Yes, absolutely is the agency. And this, you know. Listen! The the biggest power that God life has given us is the power of choice.
and I can choose to be angry, or I can choose to be happy, or I can. It's a choice that we make the feelings, and we can use those feelings and the emotions to drive something that we want to accomplish. You know I mean a lot of the complaints that we have are rooted on things that are important to us. I complain that my boss is not, you know, is not giving me information. He's me. He's that, you know. If you look
(16:07):
behind. If that is a complaint that you're making is because you value information that you value communication.
So that's what I am trying to. That's what I do. You know. What is it that I am complaining about? What is that important to me? And then I use that as a catalyst for for change, for myself.
Govindh Jayaraman (16:28):
So you you talk about these 3 things
right, these 3 things that you say. 1st of all, you said, how did you do it. There's nothing special about you.
We're going to debunk that in a second. However.
the I think we're all special, and we, realizing that specialness is really what you've done so powerfully and intentionally. So let's talk about the 3 things that we all have right, that we all have access to these 3 things you said, and the 3 things are commitment, persistence, and optimism. Let's talk about what commitment means. What does commitment mean?
Luis Velasquez (17:06):
So commitment means
well, you know, if you, if you know about me, there are 3 things commitment for me is is is is making an emotional
decision, and when I call commitment, because it has an emotional component of that I am committed to my wife. I am committed to my marriage. I am committed to my religion, to my church, whatever you know, it's an emotional connection to it as opposed to making a decision. The decision is cerebral commitment is more from the heart, so commitment aligns 3 things aligns your reasoning. I'm committed to this because it's the right thing to do.
(17:49):
I'm committing to this because it aligns your spirit. I'm calling into this because I am emotionally attached to this situation. I care about this, and finally, the desire.
the commitment you have to align those 3 things desire. I am. I want to get better to this. You see what I'm saying, so that to me commitment is is the emotional decision that you that that you do.
(18:18):
that you make about doing something about something.
Govindh Jayaraman (18:21):
So it's connecting your heart and your head in some way right to make a commitment. So it's coming. There's an emotional component. There's a cognitive component. You're making this connection on purpose. And you're committed right? So that's what you're saying. So that's what commitment means.
Now.
I'm going to say that persistence sounds like it. It's it's obvious. But what what do you mean by persistent commitment plus persistence? What does persistence mean in that context?
Luis Velasquez (18:51):
So if you think about this, you know, persistence is literally is grit.
you know, is is the ability to to withstand the hard times and and the pain that a lot of times we have to go through. Life is hard. You know, life is hard. Unfortunately, we as humans, we tend to optimize for comfort.
(19:14):
And we we tend to optimize from comfort. We don't push ourselves a little harder.
Yeah, I see a lot of times. People confuse pain with discomfort.
It's painful to talk to my boss. It's painful to do. X. No, it's not painful. It's uncomfortable.
Yeah. So the the way those 2 things are, you know, if if you're committed to something, but you don't take action, nothing happens
(19:42):
because you leave it to something. But if there's no action. Nothing happens now. The persistence is that's where you take the action. But realizing that a lot of times
life is not easy and life is hard.
Govindh Jayaraman (19:58):
That's right.
Luis Velasquez (19:59):
Now together by themselves is a recipe for burnout.
And that's what we're gonna talk about. The optimistic component of that.
Govindh Jayaraman (20:10):
So so just by saying, commitment plus persistence
unrelentingly is the recipe for burnout. Why is that the recipe for burnout.
Luis Velasquez (20:18):
Because there is not a hope of things get better.
So let me tell. You know, like you can see people that are going through work and a toxic place, and they just go there. They adapt to that. They don't like it. They hate it, but they keep going. That's great. Or you people that are in in relationships that are toxic, and they adapted to it. They manage. That is great, that is no resilience that is simply great, that is, that is, endurance.
Govindh Jayaraman (20:50):
And that's you know, if you if you, if you talk about your father's story a little bit again.
right what he was doing when truck driving, and $25, and your mother with 75 cents a day, just
grinding it out, doing the same stuff all the time they were committed
to being great parents that were committed to deliver. You know, you guys had a happy childhood.
(21:13):
They were persistent. They kept on going because they needed the 75 cents and the $25.
That was just pure guts. That was just like gutting it out. It's relentless and
and and doesn't have that X factor
which you're adding at the end, which is optimism. Why is it optimism as opposed to? Well, 1st of all, what do you mean by optimism?
Luis Velasquez (21:40):
There are different ways that you can describe optimism. For me. The way the way is this is is thinking that this moment that is happening right now. That is horrible, is not, gonna is not gonna last forever
the mean of the going back to my dad's questions. What are you going to do about this, you know, when you start thinking about optimism, I call it. Some people call it optimism. Some people call it hope. Some people call it long term goals. Some people call it, you know, the moonshot.
(22:11):
but then you you have that light at the end of the tunnel that justifies the persistence and the hard times that you're going through today to accomplish and to fulfill that commitment that you made.
Govindh Jayaraman (22:27):
Yeah. So so it's not just hope.
But it's something a little bit more than that, right?
Luis Velasquez (22:37):
Yeah, hope is goals without legs. That's what I said. Hope are goals without legs. Optimism is, you see, the possibilities. So when my Dad used to ask me. So what are you going to do about this?
You know. Then I started labeling, oh, I could do XI could do this, I could do these other 3 things. So it's almost like a like a call to action
(23:01):
to envision the future.
Therefore, that helps me. I have to go through this hard time that I have to now, because I see myself doing X. My dad said to me, you know, when I remember, he said, you know, I'm going to send you to the university. I'm gonna buy a house, you know. That is the optimism in him, you know, and how he's going to do it. He realized that he had to.
(23:25):
who work really hard to get it, because he was committed
to your point, to us, to to to to make, you know to make, to make.
to be successful, and to to take care of our family.
Govindh Jayaraman (23:40):
Yeah. You know, I love the way you lit up when you say you see the possibilities right? Because I think that's what
I think that's really misunderstood when it comes to optimism. I think people think of optimism as just being oh, you see the sunny side of things, or you're
(24:01):
your sunshine and rainbows when they don't belong. It's misguided. No, but possibilities.
The inference is that it's possible.
Luis Velasquez (24:11):
Don't worry.
Govindh Jayaraman (24:11):
Right that you see that it's actually possible
to do this thing. And when you see the world, when you clean the lens, when you clean the window.
The world you look at changes, and when the world you look at changes that everything changes, doesn't it.
Luis Velasquez (24:27):
Absolutely. And here is the way I see a lot of times. People say, this is the way it is, you know. I don't have a choice. You know I cannot do this. It's not up to me, and I think that
that's what it. That's why a lot of people are missing is to see the possibilities that we can make a choice. And, by the way, not doing anything about it is a choice.
(24:50):
So every time that I you know that. That I it's funny, you know, when when I coach several people, a lot of people, and then I find myself asking them, so what is it possible? What are you going to do about this?
And if they refuse well, let's picture this, you know. Picture that an alien comes and does something. What else can happen? And as we start asking for possibilities, they can see that they have agency, not only in choosing their journey, but also in taking action.
(25:23):
The action might be
to your point earlier. It might not happen overnight, but just the idea of taking the 1st step or something.
It's so powerful. Love it.
Govindh Jayaraman (25:35):
Yeah, absolutely. So.
So how?
How did you see possibilities in
becoming an ultra marathon or an ironman athlete? What? Why was that?
An important ingredient in your journey.
Luis Velasquez (25:58):
There is a concept that I call you probably are familiar with. This is a keystone habit.
Govindh Jayaraman (26:04):
Yep.
Luis Velasquez (26:05):
Yeah. And the gift of habit is a habit that will that will emphasis that will influence everything.
When I was
trying to get better, you know, like recovering, you know. The only thing that I could do was to take care of my recovery by doing the things that the therapist asked me to do.
(26:26):
and for that was to walk, you know, exercise and whatnot. So I started doing that I started the exercise, and I started running
as a result of the running, you know, I made some incredible
steps in many, many areas of my life.
you know. So I started running, and I, I found a community that I really love. The ultra marathon community was amazing. I found my wife to running. We literally ran into each other, and we.
(26:57):
Mary. So so I so so here is the one thing that I that I think that is, I think that I know. I believe that this is what you're getting at
at the beginning, you know people.
I I will say, you know. Well, if I do. If I do it, anybody can do that.
(27:19):
However, when I was when I was saying that I was not minimizing, but I was hiding the effort and the persistence that it took to get there.
And I think a lot of times. That's what we don't do is to highlight the effort that it takes to get somewhere.
because that is key. So one out to your point is to what you say is, how do you do you decide to become a marathoner? No, that was an outcome. The effort is what got me there.
(27:51):
and a lot of times we confuse the effort with the final goal. You know I want to run a marathon. The marathon is the final goal. But it's not. You shouldn't focus on that focus on the effort that it takes to get there.
Govindh Jayaraman (28:04):
And so here's the thing about a keystone habit, which is, it's not the Marathon was the keystone habit. It was running and taking the 1st step. And because the keystone habit is a small, consistent effort, right? It's something small that you can do
consistently, that has a disproportional impact everywhere else in your life, so you'll hear generals, you know, Army and navy generals talk about making your bed, going to bed at consistent time, exercise in any way, shape or form, meditation.
(28:37):
conversation, generosity, kindness, these are keystone habits that have disproportionate impacts on other areas of her life. And
and so for you was. It was the effort of starting this journey, this run that I'm going to take the 1st step, and then you ran into your wife.
Luis Velasquez (28:59):
Absolutely. Yeah, yeah.
Govindh Jayaraman (29:01):
That's powerful.
So look, Luis, everything's not always easy for you
when you're confronted with challenge. How do you remember the formula? What do you do to remind yourself of your own formula.
Luis Velasquez (29:18):
I don't remember the formula.
I just do it.
Govindh Jayaraman (29:22):
Okay.
Luis Velasquez (29:23):
That has built now into my in my subconscious, you know, and I think that a lot of times. So if you think about those 3 things we already do those things. You know everybody has access to this. I guarantee you that you went to school, and it wasn't easy, you know, or people are doing things that weren't easy, but they were committed to do them anyway. So we all have access to that. What I think that
(29:51):
what I think that is key here is to be intentional about doing those 3 things in tandem.
Govindh Jayaraman (30:01):
That's awesome. That's awesome, Luis. One of the things that we're doing in paper napkin wisdom is is to
to to give appreciation in the world
for somebody or something that was influential along your journey, and we call it a shout out right? So, giving a shout out to somebody or something that was supportive in your journey. What would who would you shout out?
(30:24):
What would your shout out? Be.
Luis Velasquez (30:27):
There's so many people that I would love to shout, you know, but you know my parents number one, but I think that there there is a teacher
my junior high high school teacher who gave me my diploma when I when when I worked in you know the diploma of graduation of Junior High. And I remember, you know, he's saying this, he said.
(30:53):
This this boy is gonna go really far.
This boy has as a special.
And I I give you note I kept the
memory throughout. My has been in my entire life, you know, because that was a motivational, but also was something along those lines of of a push.
(31:18):
I remember he believed in me, you know. I know that I can do it because he saw it so his name is one.
We call it Professor Juan.
and he was hard with all of us, but what he did to me at that moment is that he challenged me to do better and to to do the best I could all the time, and that's what I've been doing.
Govindh Jayaraman (31:45):
That's awesome. That's awesome, Luis. Thank you for joining me.
Luis Velasquez (31:48):
Oh, thank you for having me. I really appreciate it.
Luis Velasquez. Welcome to paper! Napkin wisdom. I'm excited to have you here with me today.
Luis Velasquez (00:07):
Thank you so much. I mean, I really appreciate the you know, the the opportunity to to be here with you today.
Govindh Jayaraman (00:13):
Yeah. So you shared with me an interesting paper napkin. And I'm going to do my best to describe it for everybody listening. Obviously check it out online. It says, resilience is equal to commitment plus persistence. And there's brackets. So it's an equation
commitment plus persistence in brackets. The whole thing. Times optimism, and there's a circle around the whole thing like a cloud. Why did you share that with me?
Luis Velasquez (00:42):
Well, there are 2 reasons. Number one, because that is the the subject of my book, ordinary resilience and number 2 is because it has a
a lot of emotional connection in my journey as a human being, and my dad and many of the people that I have coaching, you know, and as a professional coach right now.
(01:05):
so it is a it. It is something that I
one to bring to the world. You know what is resilience is commitment, persistence, times, optimism.
Govindh Jayaraman (01:17):
So how did you come to experience this for yourself, Lynn?
Luis Velasquez (01:23):
Well, you know, I mean, so I'll give you a little background, you know. Quick background. So I grew up in Guatemala, Central America, in a time that was full of war political worth, you know, the Cold War wasn't fought in the United States or Russia. It was fought in Latin America. So I grew up at that time. In addition to that, you know, I grew up in extreme poverty.
(01:46):
Somehow I made it to the United States through a scholarship and got a Phd. My dream was become a professor.
Everything was going well until I got blessed with a brain tumor.
and during that brain tumor, you know, I long story short, I my professional dreams didn't survive, nor my marriage. But my but I survived the tumor.
(02:15):
and during that process, you know, I'm
I started, you know, thinking, what am I going to do? How am I going to do this? How else I want to survive this situation, and I started running as a recovery, you know. In fact, I call my recovery a Marathon training.
and I started running, and I run one marathon, and then I run another one, and I run almost 100 marathons, including several with Ironman, including Ironman triathlons and ultra marathons.
(02:47):
got it. A lot of people tell me. My God, you're so resilient, you know. How do you do it? You know, because my life has been up and down a lot of suffering a lot of, you know, really some extreme things that are happening to me.
And in my mind I was thinking, there's nothing special about me. I just do it just just because I do it. There is. I have been nothing else, no training on anything. I just did what it was natural to me.
(03:14):
While I was coaching I realized that we all have access to these 3 things is commitment being committed to something being persistent and being optimistic. Now, resilience, the way I see it. Resilience is, is an outcome, you know. People say resilience is how you bounce back is recovering is doing that, but there is no much information about what is happening to you
(03:39):
during
things that are going bad or or or hard times, and and the way I see it is. Resilience is these 3 things when you're happening, and we all have access to it.
What I mean by that is that resilience is not extraordinary. Resilience is ordinary. We all have access to these things. And and and so that's you know. That's the origin of of this, you know.
(04:07):
formula. Let's put it that way, which I hope is
it's it's what I have found is that it's a it's an Aha moment for many people that I talk about it
with.
Govindh Jayaraman (04:18):
So I think there's a lot that you said 1st of all, and I wanna I wanna make sure that we go through all of it because you shared an incredible story.
for people don't know. I mean, Guatemala has been a country that's been ravaged by political war for many years, and when you talk about extreme poverty, there are people who are listening who may have a sense of what that means. But I don't think everybody does. I mean my father came from a situation where it may sound familiar, but he had to study by borrowing other people's books and reading them under the streetlights because they didn't have lamp oil.
(04:53):
What? What does extreme poverty mean in your situation? Where did you come from?
Luis Velasquez (04:58):
Well, you know I mean my dad was a truck driver.
you know, and he will make $25 a a month.
My mom was a seamstress, and she will her. I think that she will make like 75 cents a day or something along those lines, you know. Sometimes we will know. I will not think about the question sometimes. Wasn't, what are we going to have breakfast today? The question was, are we going to have a breakfast today.
(05:21):
Yeah. Our house had no floor, you know, and sometimes we had to go.
you know, one meal a day, you know. I mean my. Our books are notebooks. My mate doesn't know books, you know. He will get some paper, and he will sue them so we can actually, you know, have some something to write on, but you know
(05:45):
the one thing that I want to add to that is that I had a very child happy childhood, you know, looking back, you know, I always, you know, talk to my brothers and sisters. The reality is that we were in the very, very dire conditions. Yet we were so happy, you know, as a family, and I give my dad a my dad and my mom. You know the credit for raising us with a lot of agency.
(06:13):
and what I mean by that is that my dad will you know every time that we will not
we will. We didn't like something. His question was, What are you going to do about it?
What are you going to do about it?
And that time, instead of complaining, we start thinking about, what are we gonna do about this? And I give that
the reason what I am today.
Govindh Jayaraman (06:36):
I love that the agency that you talk about that your father gave you
about what are you going to do about it?
He showed you that, too, right by sewing together your notebooks with paper that he brought together right? He like this is this is
they? They walked the walk. They didn't just tell you do this thing. They they empowered you by paving the road with effort and examples. Didn't they.
Luis Velasquez (07:05):
Absolutely yeah, to make it. To make it more interesting, my dad had a horrible accident when I was in. I don't know. I was 13 years old
on
when he was recovering from it, you know, from the accident, I mean he he lost his ability to walk for about, you know, 2 years and so my mom had to. I mean, we had. We suffered at that time, you know, in fact, that we went to live with different people because my mom couldn't afford to keep us together.
(07:36):
And then my dad made a made a commitment and he said, I am gonna get better.
I am going to make build my own business. I'm going to send you to university. I'm going to buy a house, and we were laughing about it because he couldn't do it when he was healthy.
But guess what he did it, you know. I mean, when he came back, you know he was so committed to doing that that he became a very successful entrepreneur in my hometown, you know. Just to give you an example, as I said, you know the way we grew up is not the way my little sister grew up.
(08:14):
You know. My! When my little sister went to college the 1st thing that my dad did is he? He bought her a car and a house.
you know. So, Princess, you know.
Govindh Jayaraman (08:24):
Yeah.
Luis Velasquez (08:25):
To going back to to me, to me when I was in my issue with my brain tumor. You know I had that
inspiration from my dad.
and I knew that the 1st thing that he did is to make a commitment to get better. And that's exactly what I did with myself, too. I said. I need to get better. I need to get better, and to me.
Govindh Jayaraman (08:46):
Powerful like. How powerful is that because one of the things that I think is really incredible about that is not only did you learn agency from your father. But you learned that change happens like that. It doesn't happen. So people think, Oh, I'll go on this journey of 5 years, and I'm going to change. No. He changed that moment from the truck driver
(09:07):
to the entrepreneur, and when he did that the world around him changed. He changed.
Luis Velasquez (09:16):
Absolutely. And you know I mean one of the elements of resilience. What I think the pillars of resilience is the number one is, embrace the suck.
Govindh Jayaraman (09:25):
Yeah.
Luis Velasquez (09:26):
You know, accept the challenge, and that is reality is that sometimes you know it is where I am. That's it. All I have is what I have right now, and the reality is that we already have everything that we need to take the 1st step.
So, my dad, you know to your point he made. He didn't change overnight, but he make the decision, the commitment
(09:48):
to start the journey just like myself when I you know when I, when when I literally, when I was at the bottom of of of my journey and during the brain tumor experience, you know.
I made a commitment to, you know, to get better, and to me getting better at that time was to get my health back, and the only thing that I could do is to start my recovery, and that's how I refer my recovery to my Marathon training.
Govindh Jayaraman (10:16):
Yeah. So I don't want to go too far advanced, because, you know. So we're in Guatemala. Your father demonstrates agency, not just through his words and action. Along with your mother, you have this incredible journey, the experience watching him change, watching the world around him change as he changes, and then you say, somehow he made it to America. Well, it wasn't somehow
(10:45):
what was the. Somehow there was a story there. I think.
Luis Velasquez (10:49):
Yeah. So so
I went to a school. That was what they call a terminal school, you know. It was a. It was a school where they prepare you to get a job, or, you know, trade school for them.
Govindh Jayaraman (11:05):
Trade school is what they'd call it here, right.
Luis Velasquez (11:07):
And so university for me wasn't a
at that time. It wasn't an option, you know. I just wanted to, you know, work. And I started looking for jobs. You know, I started visiting places. Where can I get a job? And I went to a foundation, an agricultural foundation, and see if there was a job, and they told me, no, there is. No, we don't have a job, but we have some scholarships
(11:32):
to the United States, you know applications at the end of the world. What happened was that the United States Henry Kissinger created this program that it was called Scholarships for peace, and the idea was to bring people here after the war, and then train them that you know, like.
(11:55):
teach them English, and then send them back to so they can become beacons of light beacons of change. And that's exactly what happened to me. So I came and went to a community college in California.
But what that did to Miko
is transformational, because back home my world ended at the end of my village. You know my world ended at the end of my town. You know the world and the poverty to me that was normal, you know. That was the way I live.
(12:26):
When I came here I realized that there was so much I could do. There's so much that I could take advantage of. So I you know, I finished my program. I went back to fulfill my commitment of staying in Guatemala for a few years, and then I decided to come back and look for scholarships again, and I got another scholarship to Florida, A. And M. University. I don't know if you're familiar with that.
Govindh Jayaraman (12:53):
Hmm.
Luis Velasquez (12:54):
And Florida State University. Got a master's degree there on plant biotechnology, and did a Phd. And
horticulture, botany and molecular plant biology at Michigan State, and became a professor there.
And that's where you know I was. I thought that I had it all done when the tumor came.
Govindh Jayaraman (13:20):
And you said, and you said something very interesting. When you 1st talked about your brain tumor in this conversation you said you were blessed
with a brain tumor.
Why did you say that.
And you meant it like when you when you said it. You meant it.
Luis Velasquez (13:42):
I did. I did, you know. I even have it. A funny name for it. I call it my precious.
Govindh Jayaraman (13:47):
That's great lord of the rings.
Luis Velasquez (13:50):
When I got to Princeton, you know the Lord of the Rings movies were, you know, big. So you know they remember. I don't know if you saw, but you know.
Govindh Jayaraman (13:58):
Is Gollum. And then, my, yeah.
Luis Velasquez (14:00):
Is precious, and the and the idea is that it's something that I can carry all by myself.
that that I need to take care of it for myself.
And what I mean by that is that all? What I am today was not despite
(14:20):
that I had that tumor, but it was because it's because of the tumor.
And I think that a lot of times, you know, when people that I coach is like people, they say, oh, if I I wish I didn't have that. I wish I didn't have this and that. And the reality is that the question that I ask them sometimes is, what can you do today? So 40 years from now, you can say that this crisis that you're going through right now is the best thing that happened to you.
(14:44):
For me the brain tumor is the best thing that ever happened to me.
Govindh Jayaraman (14:50):
Yeah. And and I think it's it's this core philosophy. That sort of comes from you.
which is that you embrace challenges as if you have chosen them yourself.
and because ultimately we have right, we we, if you embrace challenges, if you've chosen them yourself.
you can approach it with gratitude and intention as opposed to with resistance. And when we resist against it, we're creating countervailing forces as opposed to using the momentum of the challenge to move us through the learning right? Isn't that the core of what you're saying here? And we're going to get into the equation a little bit. But that's really what the core of the equation is, isn't it?
Luis Velasquez (15:30):
Yes, absolutely is the agency. And this, you know. Listen! The the biggest power that God life has given us is the power of choice.
and I can choose to be angry, or I can choose to be happy, or I can. It's a choice that we make the feelings, and we can use those feelings and the emotions to drive something that we want to accomplish. You know I mean a lot of the complaints that we have are rooted on things that are important to us. I complain that my boss is not, you know, is not giving me information. He's me. He's that, you know. If you look
(16:07):
behind. If that is a complaint that you're making is because you value information that you value communication.
So that's what I am trying to. That's what I do. You know. What is it that I am complaining about? What is that important to me? And then I use that as a catalyst for for change, for myself.
Govindh Jayaraman (16:28):
So you you talk about these 3 things
right, these 3 things that you say. 1st of all, you said, how did you do it. There's nothing special about you.
We're going to debunk that in a second. However.
the I think we're all special, and we, realizing that specialness is really what you've done so powerfully and intentionally. So let's talk about the 3 things that we all have right, that we all have access to these 3 things you said, and the 3 things are commitment, persistence, and optimism. Let's talk about what commitment means. What does commitment mean?
Luis Velasquez (17:06):
So commitment means
well, you know, if you, if you know about me, there are 3 things commitment for me is is is is making an emotional
decision, and when I call commitment, because it has an emotional component of that I am committed to my wife. I am committed to my marriage. I am committed to my religion, to my church, whatever you know, it's an emotional connection to it as opposed to making a decision. The decision is cerebral commitment is more from the heart, so commitment aligns 3 things aligns your reasoning. I'm committed to this because it's the right thing to do.
(17:49):
I'm committing to this because it aligns your spirit. I'm calling into this because I am emotionally attached to this situation. I care about this, and finally, the desire.
the commitment you have to align those 3 things desire. I am. I want to get better to this. You see what I'm saying, so that to me commitment is is the emotional decision that you that that you do.
(18:18):
that you make about doing something about something.
Govindh Jayaraman (18:21):
So it's connecting your heart and your head in some way right to make a commitment. So it's coming. There's an emotional component. There's a cognitive component. You're making this connection on purpose. And you're committed right? So that's what you're saying. So that's what commitment means.
Now.
I'm going to say that persistence sounds like it. It's it's obvious. But what what do you mean by persistent commitment plus persistence? What does persistence mean in that context?
Luis Velasquez (18:51):
So if you think about this, you know, persistence is literally is grit.
you know, is is the ability to to withstand the hard times and and the pain that a lot of times we have to go through. Life is hard. You know, life is hard. Unfortunately, we as humans, we tend to optimize for comfort.
(19:14):
And we we tend to optimize from comfort. We don't push ourselves a little harder.
Yeah, I see a lot of times. People confuse pain with discomfort.
It's painful to talk to my boss. It's painful to do. X. No, it's not painful. It's uncomfortable.
Yeah. So the the way those 2 things are, you know, if if you're committed to something, but you don't take action, nothing happens
(19:42):
because you leave it to something. But if there's no action. Nothing happens now. The persistence is that's where you take the action. But realizing that a lot of times
life is not easy and life is hard.
Govindh Jayaraman (19:58):
That's right.
Luis Velasquez (19:59):
Now together by themselves is a recipe for burnout.
And that's what we're gonna talk about. The optimistic component of that.
Govindh Jayaraman (20:10):
So so just by saying, commitment plus persistence
unrelentingly is the recipe for burnout. Why is that the recipe for burnout.
Luis Velasquez (20:18):
Because there is not a hope of things get better.
So let me tell. You know, like you can see people that are going through work and a toxic place, and they just go there. They adapt to that. They don't like it. They hate it, but they keep going. That's great. Or you people that are in in relationships that are toxic, and they adapted to it. They manage. That is great, that is no resilience that is simply great, that is, that is, endurance.
Govindh Jayaraman (20:50):
And that's you know, if you if you, if you talk about your father's story a little bit again.
right what he was doing when truck driving, and $25, and your mother with 75 cents a day, just
grinding it out, doing the same stuff all the time they were committed
to being great parents that were committed to deliver. You know, you guys had a happy childhood.
(21:13):
They were persistent. They kept on going because they needed the 75 cents and the $25.
That was just pure guts. That was just like gutting it out. It's relentless and
and and doesn't have that X factor
which you're adding at the end, which is optimism. Why is it optimism as opposed to? Well, 1st of all, what do you mean by optimism?
Luis Velasquez (21:40):
There are different ways that you can describe optimism. For me. The way the way is this is is thinking that this moment that is happening right now. That is horrible, is not, gonna is not gonna last forever
the mean of the going back to my dad's questions. What are you going to do about this, you know, when you start thinking about optimism, I call it. Some people call it optimism. Some people call it hope. Some people call it long term goals. Some people call it, you know, the moonshot.
(22:11):
but then you you have that light at the end of the tunnel that justifies the persistence and the hard times that you're going through today to accomplish and to fulfill that commitment that you made.
Govindh Jayaraman (22:27):
Yeah. So so it's not just hope.
But it's something a little bit more than that, right?
Luis Velasquez (22:37):
Yeah, hope is goals without legs. That's what I said. Hope are goals without legs. Optimism is, you see, the possibilities. So when my Dad used to ask me. So what are you going to do about this?
You know. Then I started labeling, oh, I could do XI could do this, I could do these other 3 things. So it's almost like a like a call to action
(23:01):
to envision the future.
Therefore, that helps me. I have to go through this hard time that I have to now, because I see myself doing X. My dad said to me, you know, when I remember, he said, you know, I'm going to send you to the university. I'm gonna buy a house, you know. That is the optimism in him, you know, and how he's going to do it. He realized that he had to.
(23:25):
who work really hard to get it, because he was committed
to your point, to us, to to to to make, you know to make, to make.
to be successful, and to to take care of our family.
Govindh Jayaraman (23:40):
Yeah. You know, I love the way you lit up when you say you see the possibilities right? Because I think that's what
I think that's really misunderstood when it comes to optimism. I think people think of optimism as just being oh, you see the sunny side of things, or you're
(24:01):
your sunshine and rainbows when they don't belong. It's misguided. No, but possibilities.
The inference is that it's possible.
Luis Velasquez (24:11):
Don't worry.
Govindh Jayaraman (24:11):
Right that you see that it's actually possible
to do this thing. And when you see the world, when you clean the lens, when you clean the window.
The world you look at changes, and when the world you look at changes that everything changes, doesn't it.
Luis Velasquez (24:27):
Absolutely. And here is the way I see a lot of times. People say, this is the way it is, you know. I don't have a choice. You know I cannot do this. It's not up to me, and I think that
that's what it. That's why a lot of people are missing is to see the possibilities that we can make a choice. And, by the way, not doing anything about it is a choice.
(24:50):
So every time that I you know that. That I it's funny, you know, when when I coach several people, a lot of people, and then I find myself asking them, so what is it possible? What are you going to do about this?
And if they refuse well, let's picture this, you know. Picture that an alien comes and does something. What else can happen? And as we start asking for possibilities, they can see that they have agency, not only in choosing their journey, but also in taking action.
(25:23):
The action might be
to your point earlier. It might not happen overnight, but just the idea of taking the 1st step or something.
It's so powerful. Love it.
Govindh Jayaraman (25:35):
Yeah, absolutely. So.
So how?
How did you see possibilities in
becoming an ultra marathon or an ironman athlete? What? Why was that?
An important ingredient in your journey.
Luis Velasquez (25:58):
There is a concept that I call you probably are familiar with. This is a keystone habit.
Govindh Jayaraman (26:04):
Yep.
Luis Velasquez (26:05):
Yeah. And the gift of habit is a habit that will that will emphasis that will influence everything.
When I was
trying to get better, you know, like recovering, you know. The only thing that I could do was to take care of my recovery by doing the things that the therapist asked me to do.
(26:26):
and for that was to walk, you know, exercise and whatnot. So I started doing that I started the exercise, and I started running
as a result of the running, you know, I made some incredible
steps in many, many areas of my life.
you know. So I started running, and I, I found a community that I really love. The ultra marathon community was amazing. I found my wife to running. We literally ran into each other, and we.
(26:57):
Mary. So so I so so here is the one thing that I that I think that is, I think that I know. I believe that this is what you're getting at
at the beginning, you know people.
I I will say, you know. Well, if I do. If I do it, anybody can do that.
(27:19):
However, when I was when I was saying that I was not minimizing, but I was hiding the effort and the persistence that it took to get there.
And I think a lot of times. That's what we don't do is to highlight the effort that it takes to get somewhere.
because that is key. So one out to your point is to what you say is, how do you do you decide to become a marathoner? No, that was an outcome. The effort is what got me there.
(27:51):
and a lot of times we confuse the effort with the final goal. You know I want to run a marathon. The marathon is the final goal. But it's not. You shouldn't focus on that focus on the effort that it takes to get there.
Govindh Jayaraman (28:04):
And so here's the thing about a keystone habit, which is, it's not the Marathon was the keystone habit. It was running and taking the 1st step. And because the keystone habit is a small, consistent effort, right? It's something small that you can do
consistently, that has a disproportional impact everywhere else in your life, so you'll hear generals, you know, Army and navy generals talk about making your bed, going to bed at consistent time, exercise in any way, shape or form, meditation.
(28:37):
conversation, generosity, kindness, these are keystone habits that have disproportionate impacts on other areas of her life. And
and so for you was. It was the effort of starting this journey, this run that I'm going to take the 1st step, and then you ran into your wife.
Luis Velasquez (28:59):
Absolutely. Yeah, yeah.
Govindh Jayaraman (29:01):
That's powerful.
So look, Luis, everything's not always easy for you
when you're confronted with challenge. How do you remember the formula? What do you do to remind yourself of your own formula.
Luis Velasquez (29:18):
I don't remember the formula.
I just do it.
Govindh Jayaraman (29:22):
Okay.
Luis Velasquez (29:23):
That has built now into my in my subconscious, you know, and I think that a lot of times. So if you think about those 3 things we already do those things. You know everybody has access to this. I guarantee you that you went to school, and it wasn't easy, you know, or people are doing things that weren't easy, but they were committed to do them anyway. So we all have access to that. What I think that
(29:51):
what I think that is key here is to be intentional about doing those 3 things in tandem.
Govindh Jayaraman (30:01):
That's awesome. That's awesome, Luis. One of the things that we're doing in paper napkin wisdom is is to
to to give appreciation in the world
for somebody or something that was influential along your journey, and we call it a shout out right? So, giving a shout out to somebody or something that was supportive in your journey. What would who would you shout out?
(30:24):
What would your shout out? Be.
Luis Velasquez (30:27):
There's so many people that I would love to shout, you know, but you know my parents number one, but I think that there there is a teacher
my junior high high school teacher who gave me my diploma when I when when I worked in you know the diploma of graduation of Junior High. And I remember, you know, he's saying this, he said.
(30:53):
This this boy is gonna go really far.
This boy has as a special.
And I I give you note I kept the
memory throughout. My has been in my entire life, you know, because that was a motivational, but also was something along those lines of of a push.
(31:18):
I remember he believed in me, you know. I know that I can do it because he saw it so his name is one.
We call it Professor Juan.
and he was hard with all of us, but what he did to me at that moment is that he challenged me to do better and to to do the best I could all the time, and that's what I've been doing.
Govindh Jayaraman (31:45):
That's awesome. That's awesome, Luis. Thank you for joining me.
Luis Velasquez (31:48):
Oh, thank you for having me. I really appreciate it.
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Introducing… Aubrey O’Day Diddy’s former protege, television personality, platinum selling music artist, Danity Kane alum Aubrey O’Day joins veteran journalists Amy Robach and TJ Holmes to provide a unique perspective on the trial that has captivated the attention of the nation. Join them throughout the trial as they discuss, debate, and dissect every detail, every aspect of the proceedings. Aubrey will offer her opinions and expertise, as only she is qualified to do given her first-hand knowledge. From her days on Making the Band, as she emerged as the breakout star, the truth of the situation would be the opposite of the glitz and glamour. Listen throughout every minute of the trial, for this exclusive coverage. Amy Robach and TJ Holmes present Aubrey O’Day, Covering the Diddy Trial, an iHeartRadio podcast.
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