The Longest Yard (2005) Movie Review [S3 E5]

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:12):
How's it going, guys. Thanks for clicking on to another
Phil Talk sports movie review, p R fifty two. Hank
is back with me here as we review two thousand
and five's The Longest Yard. This is the third leg
of our hat trick of Adam Sandler movie, so you know,
I couldn't do this without Hank. Thanks for being here, man.
We wanted to do this right after the super Bowl,
but we spent a little too much time celebrating. Time

(00:34):
got away from us. But we're here now, so thanks
for being here.

Speaker 2 (00:37):
Yeah, I think it's it's one of those things where
like we thought that it was going to be right
after the super Bowl. I think we that was originally
what the plan was. But you know, we've just been
dancing in the street and you know, bragging about what
our team just won just just a month ago.

Speaker 1 (00:56):
Yeah. I don't think I've been back to work since
I should probably should probably start doing that again, but
we've been a little busy. But yeah, this was gonna
be like our goodbye to football season thing, which I
guess it's still kind of is. We're recording this on
Opening Day for all the baseball fans out there. So
Philly's won against the Nationals, so we're we're having about
that today too, So that worked out pretty well in
extra innings. But longest y are two thousand and five

(01:19):
definitely a staple of maybe not childhood, but like teenagehood
at that point for us, you know, middle school into
this would have been I'd have been in eighth grade
when this one came out. No idea about the original
until years later. So have you ever I'm not really
gonna I'm gonna compare the two in one major instance

(01:41):
early on, and then I'm gonna stick to the five version.
But have you seen the version from nineteen seventy four.

Speaker 2 (01:47):
I was gonna watch it if I had time, But
the only thing I know is Burt Reynolds in it.
Is it like supposed to be a prequel or something?

Speaker 1 (01:56):
No, no, no, it's the same. Like so Burt Reynolds is
the Adam Saying Anler character in the in that one.
So it's funny how they just shifted hit Like I
wish more movies would do this if you're gonna bother
to remake movies, like if the support the lead actor
is still alive and you know, can do what he does,
like shift him into like the supporting role if it

(02:16):
makes sense. Of course you can't do that and everything,
but yeah, he's the the Paul crew, and I forget
who the Scarborough. It's the same dynamic that there's like
an old guy that used to play and they do.
The game plays out a little differently. That one's less
of a comedy, I think would be the biggest change.
It's more of just your standard drama, I guess involving sports,

(02:37):
which was still like a new, uncharted thing in the
seventies for sure. But the biggest thing I noticed because
I watched that for the first time like a year ago,
because I finally got my hands on it. I rented
it from the library, I think, is where I found it,
because it wasn't like free on any streaming service. But
the biggest difference is the movies start very similar, where
Paul Crewe is, you know, drunk at his house and

(03:01):
he gets in a fight with his lady and he
storms out and he crashes his car. The Adam Sandler
version is a lot. There's there in the middle of
a house party and there's people there, and he just
kind of locks her in the closet and leaves in
the nineteen seventy four movie, Burt Reynolds smacks the shit
out of his wife, girlfriend, whatever in a way you
can only do it in the nineteen seventies movie. And

(03:22):
then he's like a little bit rougher to watch. Definitely
doesn't age well in the beginning. But that's the biggest difference,
I would say, Like I said, other than like, there's
a lot more comedic tones in the five version. But
when I first watched the seventy four one a year ago,
I remember thinking, like that could not have been a
different tone for the beginning. I can't picture Adam Sandler

(03:42):
like smacking the crap out of I.

Speaker 2 (03:44):
Forget who Courtney Cox.

Speaker 1 (03:47):
Yeah, see, that would not have been a good look
for him for sure. No.

Speaker 2 (03:50):
I I guess if I look at the movie and
the way it plays out, you almost expect for there
to have been a prequel because of how much depth
some of the characters are, or some of the characters have.
Like they talk about how the one guy punched the
warden when he was just a guard, and then they

(04:13):
talk about how like, oh, you know Burt Reynolds character,
he went to prison, So why did he go to prison?
It's like you're almost if you've never I guess if
you've never seen the the the first movie, the original,
then you probably think that it's just a prequel, just blatantly,

(04:35):
because you know that there's a previous Longest Yard and
that he was a character, he's the main character in
that movie. I guess. I guess it's just one of
those things where you know it's cool that there's a remake,
but also you're kind of looking at it in the
sense of, hey, was it if you've never seen it,

(04:56):
is this a prequel or is this the original movie?

Speaker 1 (05:01):
Yeah? I mean, if they wanted to, they could just
change a few finite things and make it a sequel
prequel situation, because some characters, like you said, they're more
fleshed out than they should be for a movie that
you're just kind of dropped in the middle of this world.
But there's a lot of unanswered questions, like you don't
know why. I think you know why caretakers in jail,

(05:22):
but you don't know why, like Goldberg's character is in jail.
You don't know why Michael Irvin's characters in jail. You
don't know why Nelly's characters in jail. So you don't,
you know, everyone is, but like they clearly have some
good sides and maybe they've just been there long enough
that they're making the best of life. But there's there's
some characters that go in deep enough on and then

(05:43):
others that it's just like, yeah, you're just understanding that
they're in jail and things are where they are. So
it's like you go deep in some areas within others,
you know, you just have to agree with, all right,
this is we're gonna get dropped in here and take
take it from here. Yeah. So the first category we
usually start with is overall theme, and I had two
that they kind of tie together anyway, but redemption is

(06:05):
definitely one of them. And just the concept that like
people can change. Some people change negatively in this movie
and some people most people change, you know, pretty positively
in this movie. But that's my biggest thing is, you know,
when Paul Crew gets into jail, he even says at
one point he's like, I wasn't the most popular guy
on the outside, and you know, he kind of becomes
likable and he makes a decision that he could have like,

(06:27):
let's be honest, he would have been like shanked in
the in the showers, like after that game, if he
just stays out and pretends, you know, keeps his injury
issue up or pretend injury, but he ends up you know,
letting everybody know. And I don't want to jump ahead
too much, but like, this is what's going on. This
is why I did what I did, but I'm not
doing it again. You know. It's just the ability to
not let your past dictate you, which is I think
is a big thing because a lot of these guys,

(06:48):
you don't know how long they're in for, you know
what they did, but they talk a lot about what
they're gonna do when they get out. So clearly, like
the rehabilitation of changing people is like an overwhelming thing
for a lot of people.

Speaker 2 (06:58):
In this movie, you have a lot of characters in
that movie where it's it's one of those situations where
they start out like not as nice or they start
out really mean, and then at the end of the
movie they kind of like are not that. It's like
you said, their characters, their characteristics and the way that

(07:19):
they are as characters kind of just get fleshed out.
And I guess you could say I really like that
about this movie. In that sense.

Speaker 1 (07:30):
Yeah, some of the people that are overly fleshed out,
you know, maybe too much about some of the guys,
and there's like you would have liked to know, because
some of these people seem like decent human beings on
the inside. So like, what did cheeseburger Eddie do? Was he?
Just like, did you just steal a bunch of McDonald's
one too many times or something like that? So what
was your I think we missed it? Though your your

(07:51):
overall theme choice.

Speaker 2 (07:53):
Oh, you're good. I would say that the overall theme
choice is being true to yourself because at the very
beginning of the movie, you know, Adam Paul Cruz character,
he kind of denied the fact that he was what
a point shaver or like you know he fixed games,

(08:14):
but you know, not to spoil it. But by the
end of the movie he kind of admitted that he
did do that, and it was like the biggest mistake
that he had made throughout the entire film. I think
like he's really the only character besides the the number
one guy who essentially just admits he's gay, yeah, or

(08:35):
that he he he cheats on his wife with with
black men, which like it in the beginning of the movie,
he's like, no, I would never do that. That's disgusting
and gross. And then they actually see like the video
tape of him, just like, who's who's the actor? He
who's the other actor? He's Tracy Morgan. Tracy Morgan plays

(08:58):
the the headmail cheerleader. But uh, Bruci Brucey is the
is number one. I always forget his name, but yeah,
I feel like it's being true to yourself and like
being able to tell the truth to people, and you'll
you end up getting more respect that way.

Speaker 1 (09:17):
Yeah, And Chris Rock's character, you know, Caretaker, mentions it
early on at the male cheerleaders. He's like, yeah, they're
ugly now, but give it six months and they're gonna
look like Beyonce, which you know, apparently Brucey's been there
at least six months for the way that's gone. You
mentioned you mentioned Brucey already. He is a strong candidate
for most impactful side character. Would he be your choice

(09:40):
for for that one?

Speaker 2 (09:43):
I would?

Speaker 1 (09:43):
I would.

Speaker 2 (09:44):
I would say no, he is, He's not the most
impactful side character, but he I think he's definitely up there.
I mean, like I would, I would go as far
as to say, like I would say Caretaker, Yeah, he
probably the well is he his? He You could consider

(10:04):
him to be a main character, but you also could
consider him to be a side character because he's not
the main character. He's like a title character, but he's
not like like super Unknown.

Speaker 1 (10:18):
So see, I'm glad you said that because I actually
had him under side character at one point, erased it
and put him in like the favorite character spot because
he's if you consider him a side character, yes, he's
the most impactful. He's the first guy to like, like
when Sandler gets there, he's like a kid at a
new school and like someone finally talks to him. That's Caretaker.
He's the reason the other people even entertained the idea

(10:41):
of playing football originally, because they're kind of recruited through him.
So he's he's the most impactful character. He makes the
whole movie go really without him, like I don't know
how far any of this stuff gets off the ground.
But if he's not a side character, he's the I
think he's the most important character other than Adam Sandler,
of course. So if he's not your side your side character,

(11:02):
who is.

Speaker 2 (11:05):
I would say my favorite, my favorite side character would
probably have to be the the quarterback of the other team,
the the the guy who uh you know he like,
like I said, kind of like being true to yourself.

(11:26):
Like he starts the movie off pretending to be like
really tough, and every time Adam Sandler tries to like
do something good, like at the very beginning when they
meet each other, he's like, you'll tell the warden that
what are you gonna tell the warden if he tells
he asks you if you want to play football or
be a part of football, and he's like yes because
he's like the warden likes football, and he just starts

(11:49):
beating the crap out of him and then he was
like no, you say no. And then at the end
of the movie, he's kind of just like wow, like
this guy I could have could have tanked the whole
game for his whole team instead of having more time

(12:10):
in prison, you know, Like I feel like I feel like,
even when the movie's going on, he's not necessarily an
evil character, Like he's not like Bill Romanowski or he's
not like is that stone cold Steve Austin? Is that
who that is?

Speaker 1 (12:27):
So stone cold? Is on the guards? And then Bill
Goldberg is a uh and then Kevin Nash is also
a guard. So there's two pro wrestlers on each side.
Actually so but.

Speaker 2 (12:36):
Then there's but then there's also the bos the Baz
is also a guard. So I feel like he's unlike
those guys where he's not like gonna openly like call
a guy the N word or something like that, or
like do like trivial stuff to try to like get
the the convict players to you know, kind of get upset.

(12:59):
But he is like the more calm and collected guy,
Like it's clear that he is the leader, and he's
not willing to like pick small like pot shots or
anything like that. Like he he has an ego in
a sense, but it's not like it's not like I'm
gonna mess with you and I'm gonna, you know, make
you want to hit me so that I can like
beat the living crap out of you, you know, So

(13:22):
I would say it's him.

Speaker 1 (13:23):
Yeah, So that's will William Fincher is that actor he
puts Captain Canower, which I agree his arc is like
because none of the other guards, like they're kind of
shitheads and they stay ship heads and they still actually
ships himself at the same.

Speaker 2 (13:37):
Time, except the one who takes estrogen.

Speaker 1 (13:41):
That's Kevin Nash. Yeah, Kevin Nash.

Speaker 2 (13:43):
Yeah, except him, who's just like he's like crying at
the He's like, I'm so sad that you're hurt.

Speaker 1 (13:49):
I mean, I mean his is like biologically fueled, so
like he gets a mass I guess.

Speaker 2 (13:56):
So for side characters, Yeah, he's the character like have
you ever seen the movie Mean Girls?

Speaker 1 (14:04):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (14:05):
Like you know how? Like you know how, like what's
it the the main mean girl? Like they give She's like,
I want to take a bunch of like weight loss
like gain bars, and she's like, am I looking big?
Like that always reminds me of that, Like there's always
an Adam Sandler character who's like a guy but ends

(14:27):
up turning out to be like ridiculously effeminate for sometimes
no reason. But obviously there's a reason here.

Speaker 1 (14:36):
And I don't want to skip down to the quotes
just yet because there's a bunch in this one. But
one that I had left off the list that now
that you bring up how Kevin Nash changes is like
when he just goes, why are you yelling at me?
All I ever did was care, Like that's definitely something
I've heard people say, but for impactful side characters, if
we're not going Brucie, which I think Bruce he's like

(14:57):
a low hanging fruit choice obviously, But if we're trying
to dig a little deeper in that, I'm going with Anthony,
the really fat guy on the guard on the Prisoners.
He's played by Joey Diaz, the Kansas State guy. You know,
you assholes, better not cut me. I'm still in this team.
Someone get me a diet coke. That whole guy is great.
And then if you really want to go side side character,

(15:18):
because he's only in the last chunk of the movie,
but Chris Berman's performance sitting next to the convict and
he's like, you know, Bob, this job it's it's a
lot of give and takes. So when I bring you
in like talk to the people and he just stares
at him, he's like, it's just like yeah, and you know,
he does his wops and he does everything, and he
gets the guard to open up. Like that's like the

(15:40):
greatest performance that day might have not been on the field.
It may have been Chris Berman getting maybe face Bob
to open up, you know. All right, So that's the
most impactful. Let's go just characters in general. Do you
want to go favorite character at least favorite character for
I'll let you kick it off.

Speaker 2 (15:57):
We could do favorite character, all right.

Speaker 1 (15:59):
So I kind of already said that Caretaker. He drives
the whole movie. Like, you don't have a movie without Caretaker.
You just have a couple of funny scenes in a
football game. So I'll just get out of the way
like Caretaker is and he has all the jokes. He's
really just Chris Rock being Chris Rock. Like he doesn't
play anything. He's just you know, downstretched down when he's

(16:21):
hugging him. And he even uses like his if you
ever listen to Chris Rock stand up like, he uses
his stand up cadence when he insults people and he
talks to people. So it's literally just Chris Rock in
a prison for the first half of this movie. So
he's definitely He's definitely mine. What about yours?

Speaker 2 (16:37):
Uh? I would say my favorite character is Meggot, which
obviously they obviously his name is Meggot because Chris Burb,
because of the way, because there's a there was an
NFL player in the nineties whose last name was Meggot,
as well, and Chris Berman would say stuff like that
meggot or to like obviously it's it's like a play

(17:01):
on words for like maggot or something like that. But
he's he plays the running back, and he's like the
first the first member of like the the basketball the
cool basketball players to actually have faith in Paul Crewe
enough to kind of like join the team after you know,

(17:22):
he he kind of humiliates himself playing basketball and gets
the snot beaten out of him by Michael Irvin, and
I would so, and I feel like he's like the
coolest guy under pressure in the sense of like when
the when he's in the library and he's like putting
the books away and the guards are trying to get
him to get kind of like get him to hit,

(17:43):
to hit them so that he won't be allowed to
play anymore, or they have the reason to like beat
the living smack out of him because he's such a
good running back. Because like, I'm kind of like that guy,
like if people are messing with me, I kind of
like will like laugh about it instead of like trying
to like fight.

Speaker 1 (18:02):
Back kill him. The kindness kind of thing exactly.

Speaker 2 (18:05):
And then at the end of the movie. Obviously he
injures himself and he's just like be the living, Like
he just starts swearing up and down, and he's just
like beat them up, like take no prisoners and stuff
like that. So I would say he is he is
my favorite character. But I would also say Honorary mentioned

(18:28):
to like Courtney Cox's gay friend at the very beginning
of the movie. He's like, Who's basically like, oh wow,
your uh, your boyfriend is so hot, and he's like
at the very end after he gets arrested, he's like,
I think I'm in love and she kind of looks
at him.

Speaker 1 (18:46):
And he's like, oh, I never watched football my life.
I just liked his underwear ads or something weird like that.
So no, uh, Megott is a great choice, and I
really want to spend like a couple of minutes here
about like there's the old trope of like athletes want
to be actors and actors want to be rappers or whatever.
But he doesn't tremendous Like if I did not know
who Nelly was even back then, and I did, of course,

(19:09):
I would have just thought he was like an Omar
Epps level actor, like maybe he was a former athlete
that they're just like, I don't think a lot of
people in the music industry get thrown into a role
like this and shine the way he did. And I
don't know if he did a whole lot of other
movies other than this, but like that scene in the
library is like really uncomfortable with Stone cold calling in

(19:30):
the N word. And he wasn't even really comfortable doing
that at first. They were gonna like he was gonna
just say brother, and they were gonna like voice act
in the word, which is why you never originally don't
really see his mouth say it. But and Nelly talked
enough always say dude, like it's cool you're playing a character.
Because Austin was fairly new to acting. He was only

(19:50):
out of the Ring three years when this movie came out,
so he was new to acting, didn't you know when
he comes from a profession that yeah, you're acting, but
people still like associate you with how you act in
that setting, so they had to like a real sit
down before that stuff can go down. But that seems
really uncomfortable. He plays it off beautifully, like you said,
and it really it brings Michael Irvin into like all right,

(20:10):
you know we all got to come together because these
guys are awful. So he he drives the bus just
as much. And then I don't think he. I guess
he needed to get injured to get both Scarborough in there,
but like they could have and he still showed out enough.
And like the scene where he first gets on the
field and Paul like fumbles the snap and just like

(20:31):
pops it up to him and he runs like a
seventy yard Saquon Barkley touchdown and it is the immediate
like you kind of get that unlocked character moment with
all the guys, Like when Michael Irvin comes in, he
has to moss three people, and when Goldberg comes in,
he gets the blindside block, and when colleague comes in,
he gets the big boot block on the Swatowski. So
everyone gets their like moment to shine of like this

(20:53):
is what he brings to the team. But it was
pretty obvious that, like Megan, like if the Eagles were
a prison team, it would be this because like, yeah,
we have talent everywhere, but we're a running team first,
Like definitely.

Speaker 2 (21:04):
How Yeah, I felt like I don't I don't understand.
I don't know why, but I always thought like before
a few years ago, when I watched it for the
first time in like ten years, I always thought that
that was Steve Smith Senior.

Speaker 1 (21:20):
I mean, I don't know why. I totally see the
resemblance now that you say it.

Speaker 2 (21:23):
But then it was like he's a running back, and
I was like, Steve Smith Senior is a wide receiver,
so it doesn't make any sense. But Mega is not
built like a He's kind of built like a Danelle
Pumphrey or like A.

Speaker 1 (21:36):
I was gonna say, who would be your who would
be your earl Megan, Like, you can't do it with
Michael Irvin because he's just a Michael Irvin komp. But
who is your No, I'm either that Era or now
who's your earl? Mega? Comp?

Speaker 2 (21:50):
If you had to, I was gonna I was gonna say,
like I was gonna say something like Tony Pollard.

Speaker 1 (21:55):
That's solid, yeah, I could see that. Or what's the
guy for the Giants now, Tracy? Is that the starter? Yeah?
Maybe him?

Speaker 2 (22:03):
Yeah something Tracy?

Speaker 1 (22:05):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (22:06):
I mean he doesn't he doesn't look like he's a
running back. He's not built, he doesn't doesn't look like
he's got like Michael Turner or like, uh, quit ja
quiz rogers glutes and like here you go.

Speaker 1 (22:17):
Yeah you know, which, which I guess makes he's just
a really skinny, fast as hell like maybe he like
was stealing stuff and was running away from the co
Like they could have thrown that in there a little
bit too. They could have used the uh Gus Johnson
line of like he's got getting away from cop speed.
That would have been that'd been a great way to
do it. But yeah, no, his I would like to

(22:37):
know more about him because he just seems like a
like they could have given him, like the the line
that Crew user where it's like I was in a
I was in a bad way with some worse people,
and he could be yeah, man, I get that I've
been there kind of thing, which they probably all have,
which is why when he says that in the huddle,
there's the immediate like all is forgiven. We know exactly
what you're talking about. But yeah, I mean, if it's

(22:58):
this movie doesn't happen without Adam Saylor, and I think
Caretaker drives the bus. But this was like the first
movie that Adam Saylor is like I'm big enough now.
He always had the group that he brought in all
his movies, right, but this way, I'm just gonna bring
in anybody I like, like I met Stone Cold on
a shoot one time, or I met Joey Diaz in a
comedy club, like I'm throwing you in my movie, Like

(23:20):
this is the first one that outside of his original
Ring of Trust. And we see the the Schneiders and
the other friend that plays the raft that gets hitting
the balls, like we see the usual characters. But he
starts bringing in as he got more famous, he started
bringing in his more famous friends. And it's like, yeah,
but it was.

Speaker 2 (23:37):
Good to see some of his old friends like Dan
Patrick is in this movie, and Rich Eisen is in
this movie, and.

Speaker 1 (23:45):
Yeah, I mean core Heiser, right, Tony Kornheiser too, he's
in the before they kick off the game.

Speaker 2 (23:51):
He's like, no, I don't think Tony Kornheiser was there.
I thought it was like I thought it was like
Mike Greenberg.

Speaker 1 (23:59):
No, because I'll have to double check, but I'm pretty.

Speaker 2 (24:02):
Sure it's like a bunch. It was like a bunch
of like it was like Peter King is in it.
Just a bunch of like ESPN guys, like former ESPN
guys or in it. I didn't. I didn't recognize Kornheiser
because I would have recogned like it was just a
lot of like forty fifty year old guys, and I
think Kornheiser was a little bit older than that. I'm

(24:23):
not sure, but maybe maybe.

Speaker 1 (24:25):
But uh yeah, just everywhere you look there was somebody.
You'd if you were into sports you notice even more people.
But even if you're on a sports guy, there's all
these wrestlers. There's Nelly sitting right there, like you, there
was somebody for everyone to be like, Oh, that guy
or girl is in this movie, so get on him
for that, all right, least favorite character, I'm going to
disqualify the Warden because that's kind of the point of

(24:48):
the movie. So outside of the Warden, who do you got.

Speaker 2 (24:51):
Honey, he's not even my He's I wouldn't even consider
him to be a least favorite character. That's yeah, I
wouldn't in any way. There, Uh, why don't you go first?
I need to think, I need to think of mine
a little bit.

Speaker 1 (25:05):
So we're not picking the Warden. You said you wouldn't anyway,
But again, when a movie's designed for you to not
like someone, I kind of disqualify them. But we're gonna
stay in the office because his political advisor guy just
creeps me out. You're sitting there, man, and makes all
these weird innuendos and he's got the opera glasses at
the football game and just like nothing. He doesn't bring

(25:27):
much to the movie except to be self deprecating and uh,
just creeps me out.

Speaker 2 (25:32):
Yeah, short, And he's the guy who plays he's the
guy who plays Colonel Sanders in Yes, in the water Boy. Yeah, yeah,
he is creepy. Yeah, what does he say? He says something,
he calls him Colonel Sanders. He says something about him
being Colonel Sanders and then makes.

Speaker 1 (25:52):
Yeah, he said Colonel Sanders ate all his chicken and
he just sits or whatever. Yeah, and he goes like
the warden's saying like, oh, well, they want me to
run this state the way I run this prison, and
he's like with less sodomy though, right, and he's like
with none hopefully, sorry man, and he just gives him
another like appalled look and say, so Sandler's teeing off

(26:13):
on the guy, so that helps. But like just everything
about that guy just not a not a big fan.

Speaker 2 (26:19):
Yeah, yeah, I'll yeah, I agree. With that, I would
say I would say my my least favorite character in
this movie is probably Courtney Cox at the very beginning,

(26:39):
because she she kind of just gives off like like
it's almost like she doesn't even like him. From like
the very beginning, she's like, where this and he's like
this looks like like a disco outfit or something or
something like that. I forget what his I thinkfit yeah

(27:00):
yeah yeah, and he or a sailor out and it's
just like, dude, Like that just seems super humiliating, you know,
like why would you like force somebody to wear something
like that. It just doesn't feel like she really even
cares about him that much. It just seems like she

(27:20):
wants to like brag about the fact that she's dating
a former football player. Like if you can think of
like instances where you're where someone's like, oh, yeah, you're
only with if you're only with him because he used
to be like a big athlete or like as a
former athlete, or otherwise like you you wouldn't be with them.

(27:42):
It just feels like you're with him for the clout,
like you're trying to show him off at your party
because I date a former football player when it's just
like if he doesn't want to go downstairs, he why
should he be forced to go downstairs?

Speaker 1 (27:57):
Right? And it is funny that he's so out of
it that he's like drinking and eating like lace potato chips,
and she's like, yeah, there's a whole ass party going
on downstairs. But no, I think you nailed it. I
don't know that I would have picked that up but yet,
because she's in like twenty minutes of the movie. But
you're right, it's like a status symbol or like, because
he's not very popular, so it's not like I'm dating

(28:18):
this successful, popular guy. It's it's more like he's the
bad boy of football. They claim that he got kicked
out of the league for the point shaving and it's
been six years, so that would be the equivalent of
I don't know who's an NFL player. It's like if
someone was dating Tom Brady three years from now, but
he actually got busted for Spygate, it would be something.

Speaker 2 (28:41):
Like that, uh yeah, like kind of like yeah, because
like there aren't very many Oh like if somebody was
dating like what was his name who played for the
Browns for years and he was really good for like
a few seasons, and then he was he did a

(29:02):
bunch of drugs and he got busted.

Speaker 1 (29:04):
And burning Kosar.

Speaker 2 (29:06):
No, No, he played receiver.

Speaker 1 (29:09):
Oh oh Josh Gordon.

Speaker 2 (29:10):
Yeah, Josh Gordon dating Josh Yeah, I'm I'm at receiver
if you were dating Josh Gordon or something like that,
because honestly, he's like the only player who's ever been
truly kicked out of the league.

Speaker 1 (29:23):
Yeah that's true.

Speaker 2 (29:24):
I mean they brought him back way too many times.

Speaker 1 (29:28):
Like all right, So Adam Saylor movies tend to be
rich with the quotes, but this one takes the case.
I limited my list to five. Normally I do one
or two, and I had to remove a few we
already talked about a few of them are ready, but
babyback Pitch isn't even on here. From from Cheezburger ready

(29:50):
doing the robot. But the first two I'll put together,
it's will you teach me to football? And he also
invents a word in this quote where uh, he broke
it in my nose. Yeah, he broke it in from Swatowski.
So I have those two in here. I have come
to the tree outs. Maybe not as popular, but it's
stuck with me. Shouldn't have that popcorn whenever you drop something.

(30:14):
I think people still say that here and there you
would be shocked to learn that one and then right
at the end of the movie stick that in your
trophy case. Those are my Those are my top I
think I left plenty for you to choose from, but
those are those are my quotes.

Speaker 2 (30:27):
Yeah, I'm looking at a few of them right now
and i've I've okay. So my favorite one is the
one where they're like the caretakers, like, who are gonna crush?
They're like the guards and he's like, who are gonna
kill the guard? And the caretaker goes, who are you
gonna kiss? And then Brucey goes the guards or I

(30:51):
also like the It's just it's basically like BRUCEI quotes
where he's like, uh, He's like, he's like, how come
I can't be kicker? And he's like, all right, let's
see what you got and he does it with quarterback too,
and he's like he misses completely and he's like, that's why,
you dumb ass. I I guess, I guess the I guess.

(31:15):
The last one would probably be when when he loses
the basketball game, and he's like, well, we didn't get
the chocolate bar, but at least we got to hurt.
She's kidded.

Speaker 1 (31:32):
That's yeah, I kind of forgot about that one. That's
a good one. But yeah, I love the the Bruce
Ye stuff where you know, because he could easily say, Bruce,
it's because you suck, but he's he's so confident that Bruce,
he's about to mess up whatever he puts in front
of him. Then he's like, you know what, man, you're
right here. Hit me. I'm open sales over his head.
That's why he sit down and shut up.

Speaker 2 (31:51):
Did you ever see that movie? This is not about
this is leading up to something. But have you ever
seen that movie with Steven Sagal where he's in a prison.
It's called like It. You know who Steven Sagall is? Right?

Speaker 1 (32:09):
I do, but I don't know that I've really seen
any of his movies.

Speaker 2 (32:11):
But I know it's called Half Past Dead. And the
reason why I ask you this is because there are
a lot of wrestlers in that movie and Goldberg. Goldberg
was the one of the main characters in Half Best
Past Dead two, which was it. Both movies are terrible.

Speaker 1 (32:31):
Movies are you know, watchable at best.

Speaker 2 (32:35):
But basically basically like the second movie stars like a
side character who like is trying to be like a rapper.
But like, honestly, I could have seen them make a
spinoff movie much like that where the main character is Brucey.

Speaker 1 (32:52):
He could have got like, if this came out, all right,
this came out in two thousand and five, If this
came out twelve years later, in like twenty seventeen, there's
a Bruce six episode Netflix show. Yeah that bombs, it
does terribly, but it gets made if it gets after
if the movie came out around the time that Sadler

(33:13):
signed his Netflix deal, because he made that uncut Gems
and Hustle, and I think he's happy Gilmore is going
to be part of that. Stay tuned for that review
and that drops in July. So it was like, I'm
already contractually obligated to make stuff for Netflix, and people
love Brucey. Let me just give them a bruce you
know mini series. I could totally see it.

Speaker 2 (33:34):
Yeah, I agree. Yeah, I mean, it's it's just one
of those things where it's like he is the most
one of the most memorable, memorable characters in that movie.
And it's he's kind of like it's kind of like
one of those situations where like you had breaking bad
and then you had better calls. We're like, oh, you know,

(33:55):
what's the backstory for Saul Goodman? Well, people would ask
themselves what's the backstory for Brucey?

Speaker 1 (34:03):
Because people are just you that for a lot of
these characters. But yeah, Brucey specifically, But.

Speaker 2 (34:08):
I think like Brucey kind of stands out because he
just like his character is just that kind of character
in the sense of like you can't if you took
bruce out of the movie, it wouldn't be a movie.
It would be be it would be like, all right,
who are gonna who we're gonna pick on this movie?

Speaker 1 (34:30):
You know, this movie would have been thirty five percent
less funny if Brucey just didn't exist.

Speaker 2 (34:36):
It would have just been Adam Sandler unable to tell
his like signature like kind of like homophobic jokes to people,
which honestly, at the very beginning of the movie he
kind of slapped pretty well doing the jokes about the
short guy with the big ears. Yeah, where he's like, God,

(34:56):
does he get it? He's asked Dan Patrick, does he
get a signal.

Speaker 1 (35:00):
He's like, they pick up a couple of channels. Actually, yeah,
what's the like, and Brucey like he just you know,
digs even deeper, like when he gets caught with Chris
Tucker's cheerleader character.

Speaker 2 (35:13):
Oh no, it's it's uh it's yeah, all right, yeah,
but he tries to say, like, no, I was I
was showing her a little wrestling move.

Speaker 1 (35:23):
That's what I was doing. It's like, okay, Brucey.

Speaker 2 (35:25):
Sure, It's like, no, you were, you were not.

Speaker 1 (35:28):
Yes, we we know what shadows are. All right, favorite scene,
let's go with that first. I have two, but I'm
gonna I'm gonna let you go first.

Speaker 2 (35:41):
I would say my favorite scene in the movie was, uh,
I was the the one where they what My My
favorite scene was the the cafeteria scene at the like
close to the beginning of the movie where he's like

(36:02):
in the cafeteria and they're like, oh, we know who
you are, and then he sits down and he he
he meets Caretaker and then you know, he's like, you're
gonna have to do something nuts because people are gonna
be gunning for you, and he just like takes the
takes the the tray and just smack someone across the
head and he starts this huge fight. And also like

(36:25):
the I like the basketball scene with him against Michael
Irvin because he's just getting the snot beaten out of
him and they're just like clowning on him and like
a like, almost everything Michael Irvin does in that scene
is like a foul, but he's like not really.

Speaker 1 (36:47):
Yeah. I like how they go with the stereotypical like
you gotta find the biggest guy in prison and beat
the shit out of him and he doesn't like that.
I think it's baby face Bob actually because it's like
Native American guy and uh yeah, he smacks him with
the tray and all that goes down. My favorites are
what I'm gonna call the there Goes the Neighborhood scene
when they're like, what are we gonna do? Megan can't

(37:07):
run the ball every play and then they turn and
Irvan's bringing everybody and Chris Rock says, there goes the
Neighborhood and everyone laughs. Like that I love. And then coincidentally,
because that's when the guards start taking them seriously, like
dam they have talent, now they have speed, they have strength,
so then they flood the field and then they play

(37:27):
like backyard bullshit plays in the mud, because you know,
Adam Sandler has a great monologue of him flooding this
field proves to me that he's scared. He's scared of
you guys, and we could go back to ourselves and
skip practice for it today, or we can you know,
make the most of it, and they play and they're
just like laddering the ball around. It's the first time

(37:49):
Brucey actually like does something right, like he gets the
lateral and is able to like lateral it to somebody
else that doesn't just get like decleted like he does
when he gets put in the game later. Those are
my two favorites.

Speaker 2 (38:01):
So I feel like I feel like the one thing
that was missing from this movie was redemption by Brucey,
because I feel like I feel like in like, like
obviously in all of Adam Sandler's movies, it's like Adam
Sandler's the hero in the end, and he like makes

(38:22):
the game winning play. What if bruce had scored that
two point conversion, you know, like what if they were
like they were what if they were like, dude, we like,
they'll never believe you're gonna get this ball. You always
watch everything you do. You can't actually play football, you're
too small. What if it was like Brucey, who is

(38:45):
like he was the one who got the two point conversion,
You know.

Speaker 1 (38:51):
I would have been down with that. And I think
you could have even done it where like because like
Irvin throws to Sandler m or it, so you could
have just had like the fake and then he pitches
it to Bruceie like Adam Sandler could still be in.

Speaker 2 (39:06):
Or he like or he or he like gets like destroyed,
like and he fumbles the ball up in the air,
and like Bruce catches it and instead of instead of
like a Garo Yepremian moment where he like can't actually
get his hand on the ball, he like catches the
ball but like there's no one in front of them
because in front of him because yeah, or like everybody's

(39:30):
down on the ground or something like that, because they
just made a big play and he just scores the
two point conversion and everyone goes nuts. I feel like
that's with this movie. I know we've talked about Brucie
a lot in this review, but I feel like Bruce
needed to do more.

Speaker 1 (39:48):
You know, I agree so I agree with everything you
just said, but I will say he does have his
redemption moment. It's just in a very backhanded way because
they put him out there for the kick. Goldberg's like,
Brucey can't kick for shit, and they're like, yeah, we know,
we're cover the ball, and he accidentally has the perfect
on side kick. Yeah, and then Michael Evan's like, good job, Brucey,

(40:10):
and he head butts him and he like knocks him out.
So he has it in the most half assed, backhanded way.

Speaker 2 (40:15):
I guess, yeah, I guess, But I mean it's just
like it could have been like that. I mean, Brucey
isn't even my favorite character, and I was just like,
he I need.

Speaker 1 (40:27):
To see more Brucie, you know, which he does have
at the end of the first half too, when they
do the school yard bullshit play with a laderal bunch
of Brucey is involved in that. Like he does get
the ball and get it to whoever he has to
get it to, and he doesn't just like totally screw
up that play too. So he has like two good
plays in like seventeen turnovers throughout the rest of the

(40:47):
like he's like a really bad Kyrie Irving game. You know,
he does like eight points with like twelve turnovers in
this game or or something like that. All right, least
favorite what's your least favorite scene?

Speaker 2 (41:06):
I would say my least favorite scene is I didn't
like the scene where.

Speaker 1 (41:13):
It it.

Speaker 2 (41:15):
I'm not gonna I'm not gonna come out and say
like like there's a lot of scenes, a few scenes
that I didn't like. I I I just think it's
the very beginning scene where what's his name? The the
head guard of the head guard who's like, uh, don't

(41:35):
say you know anything about football, don't say you're gonna play,
don't say you're gonna be involved at all. But like
the warden is like, yeah, I want you to be involved.
Why can't you be involved like that? Just I don't
know that maybe maybe it's like I couldn't really read
like the the fact that the guy was just he

(41:55):
had too much like he he felt like he had
too much pride. He didn't want.

Speaker 1 (42:01):
Ye. It was definitely it does felt like it definitely
felt like a pride thing or like but this this
now now incarcerated person, like he can't help us, Like
we know what we're doing, we're gonna be fine. We
don't need his because it didn't start out as a game.
It started out as like, do you have secret drills
or stuff we can do to get better? Like the

(42:21):
game idea was Sandlers at the end of the day.
It was Cruise at the end of the day, So
like that was not the goal. So liked was he
like if they were like, I want you to be
our quarterback coach or our co offensive coordinator. I think
that's what Canalar was thinking. He's like, we don't want this.

Speaker 2 (42:38):
But but why But why wouldn't But I but in
many sense, why wouldn't you want that? Like you want
your team to be better?

Speaker 1 (42:46):
Why? Guy? I looked up because they have this guard
prison league that they play in, and I'm like, that
is something ridiculous enough that would only exist in Texas
if it existed at all, And I tried to look
it up. There's not really a league as organized as
the movie makes it seem, even in Texas. So let's

(43:07):
pretend there was that just every maximum security prison had
a football team in Texas. Let's just pretend, like the
movie says, you would be the other teams would be like,
so you have a prisoner helping you out the people
that you oversee, that's what you resorted to. You know,
you haven't won a title in five years, all that

(43:27):
crap they talk about. It's like because they view themselves
as better just human beings than the people they oversee,
at least at the start of the movie. And I
feel like he would have see it as like a
badge of disrespect or that they'll get made fun of
or be viewed as like you know, I don't know,
and it comes down to just not treating people correctly.

(43:48):
But it's like, oh, Canalar had a MVP year? Yeah,
because they incarcerated Paul Crewe pulled some strings to get
him at their prison, and he coached him. You know,
that's why he got better. He was and actually better.
You know. Just I'm just trying to think in this theme,
this weird world that there's a guard League like this.

Speaker 2 (44:07):
I mean, I you're it makes sense. What you're saying
makes sense, But it's like do you want to win
or do you want to lose?

Speaker 1 (44:14):
You know?

Speaker 2 (44:15):
Like if someone was like, hey, we're bringing this person in,
help us out, help us win, help us be better,
It's like, I mean, I guess if he was like O. J. Simpson,
maybe I wouldn't be happy about that, but like and
maybe wasn't Paul Crewe wasn't like an axe murderer, an
the guards were doing worse things than anything Adam Sandler

(44:35):
had done. Like I guess, I guess it's like the
other The other thing was the fact that like this warden,
I know, this is not like my least favorite scene.
I'm kind of vincing about the movie. The warden just
seems to care more about football than he does his
own prison. You know, like he just lets his his guard.
Like I've never been to a prison. I understand that

(44:57):
prisons are rough, and there are some prisons where like guards,
prison guards suck and they're super corrupt, But it's like
there is absolutely no one overseeing that these guards just
whoop an ass, you know what I'm saying, Like it.

Speaker 1 (45:15):
That he's ran this prison for so long. I don't know,
I don't know if they give you an actual amount,
but like he's worrying about his football team, he's worrying
about running for mayor. Like, yeah, he's looking way too
much in the windshield and not enough of like who's
in the car with him, which is what happens to
a lot of people, and they have too many spinning
plates going on that. Yeah, like the prison is gonna

(45:36):
run itself, like it's Texas, Like they're not They're not
gonna lose the prison. The money's gonna keep coming in
and yeah, stuff like that. So maybe he it's just
one of those like you've been doing it for so
long that it's like a self functioning thing that you
just happen to be at the head of. I guess, yeah, yeah,
I agree. I don't think you cared about anything more
than than winning and what's hilarious to me.

Speaker 2 (45:58):
And it's like, but then it's like, why don't you
try to become like an owner of a football team,
you know? Yeah, buy the actual football team.

Speaker 1 (46:05):
Yeah, like it's two thousand and five, Buy into like
the expansion Texans, you know, or whatever as they come
in the league or whatever. For my least favorite, I
have two. One you're not gonna like because it was
in your favorite scenes. I dislike the basketball scene and
it's not the cor of it, the corve. It's fine.
I enjoy it. I get the point. You can't call

(46:26):
your own fouls because you look like a bitch. I
get all that, But the two parts that make me
hate it are when Adam said, one he gets to
cross over Michael Irvin, which is hilarious. Ye, and he's
going from the uncontested layup and Cheezburger Eddie comes and
swats it out of the sky, and I'm like, even
in street ball, people don't just run onto the court

(46:47):
and block your shit. So that alone, like he would
have won right there. And then on the easy you know,
steal get the ball game winner that he calls you know,
the foul on like they would dog the crap out
of you at the playground, in the street whatever, which
is why like Meggott immediately says like, yeah, I know

(47:08):
what the deal was, but like I'm signing with this guy.
More people should acide with them immediately because the way
maybe it's urban and he's easy for me to not like,
but like if my buddy did that, if they were
playing against someone that they should easily destroy and it
comes down to the wire and they're calling TICKI tack
fouls or whatever, I'm like, dude, like, clearly he like

(47:29):
he beats you. He did, he beats you. So it's
just like the cheezburger. Ready Park gets me the most
because like, there was no version. I don't care where
you are in the world playing basketball, somebody not in
the game comes on the court and interacts with the
ball in any way, they're getting the shit kicked out
of him like that, especially a situation like this like
if Megan.

Speaker 2 (47:47):
Unless they're unless they're unless they're Terry crew you know.

Speaker 1 (47:50):
I mean, I understand Harry Crews for sure, but in general,
that's just like that didn't make sense to me at all.
So that's, you know that the concept of it should
have been great. I love when he punches him in
the face and he says, did I get you? And
he just pulls up the three in his face Like
that's like, oh yeah, because you think he's you think
he's got it at that point. But yeah, the cheeseburger

(48:11):
part makes me really angry because I'm like, there's no
version of that that would make sense. And then just
this is simple though, like the Caretaker death, Like I
haven't seen this movie in a little bit, and it's
usually long enough time in between that when I do
watch it, I always forget it's coming. My gosh, shit,
I don't think he needed to die. I think they
could have, like someone could have beaten the shit out

(48:32):
of him, and he's like laid up in the hospital
like a Gary tear from a Remember the Titans. I
understand he dies later, but yeah, I don't think he
needed to die necessarily because it's just so realistically and
there's a lot in this movie that isn't realistic. If
this guy died like forty eight hours before this game
was supposed to happen, the game would have been canceled.

Speaker 2 (48:55):
Yeah, but he was. But he wasn't supposed to die.

Speaker 1 (48:59):
He was not. But the fact that a bomb went off.

Speaker 2 (49:02):
Was supposed to die, right, Yeah, But.

Speaker 1 (49:04):
The fact that a bomb went off in the Star
quarterback cell forty eight hours before the game, killing a
member of the convict team's staff, like, shit's getting looked at.
I don't think the game happened. So yeah, Like if
they just beat him in an alley when he when
he's by himself, that's something the prison can keep under wraps,

(49:24):
you know.

Speaker 2 (49:25):
Yeah. So I guess it's like I guess it's like
I guess it's like the whole thing of like they're
like get it done, like but like they're not actually
involved with it. He kind of sets up his own
like homemade explosion explosive, right, Yeah, I didn't. I didn't
really like the way he went out anyway. It honestly

(49:47):
would yeah, like you said, it honestly would have been
better if he went out in like bullets, you know,
like if he just got shelled with like bullets or
something like that, like they're trying to like he's trying
to protect like Paul Crue or or what's another member
of the team, and then he just gets killed, you
know it. It would make more sense like that. But yeah,

(50:07):
him him dying via bomb blowing up was kind of dumb.

Speaker 1 (50:12):
And I have I never really paid attention to the
funeral scene until this rewatch. But you know, they got
the casket, they had the picture of him and his mother.
They you know, cheeseburger. Ready puts the cheeseburger. There's like
packs of cigarettes. Someone puts the Rosemary Bees down. There
is a random Xbox game called Link and it's a
golf game for the original Xbox for some reason, is

(50:34):
on this casket and also an archie comic. I just
I never paid attention to what was laying there, so
I thought that was I thought that was interesting.

Speaker 2 (50:42):
So yeah, there's like a lot there's like beer too.

Speaker 1 (50:45):
Yeah, beer smoke, stuff like that makes sense, but randomly
an Xbox game and Archie comic. Yeah, did you did
you get your least I think you're up right for
a least favorite or did you do it already.

Speaker 2 (50:55):
Least favorite scene?

Speaker 1 (50:57):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (50:58):
Yeah, I already did that.

Speaker 1 (50:59):
Okay, okay, so move it on. I want to thank
you for this before we even get to it. When
I started this with the like memorabilia you would want
from this movie, I really meant it as what's the
coolest thing from this movie that you could own? It
is now turned into what's the most ridiculous thing from
a movie you could have? The people would still know

(51:21):
it's from the movie, and that is how it'll be
moving forward. So I appreciate the tweak of this script
for this, so I will I will go first, because
even though I think I find the most ridiculous things,
you always want up me. So I'll get mine out
of the way. The not weird one is the mean
Machine jersey, like that would just be cool to have, ya.
I was about to wear I have an Orlando Predators

(51:42):
jersey and I swear it's the exact same jersey from
back in the day, like you google Orlando Predators from
that era. I swear to god they just slapped that
took the predator off, added machine to it. It's the
same bread and black and everything. So that's something, you know,
the helmet, the jersey, that's someone something people would want.
They sell like the throwback versions of it already now.

(52:03):
But for ridiculous things. I want Earl Meggott's broken cleat,
the one he runs out of in the first practice,
and I want it, you know, signed by Nelly of course.
And then the other thing I want is the ping
pong paddle from when Collie and Sandler are playing ping
pong when he's trying to convince him to play on

(52:23):
the team because he's in like solitary, and I would
I can just picture a big old shadow box with
a picture of the scene of them playing ping pong
and then the paddle in there, signed by great Collie
and Adam Sandlor. But those are those are my three.

Speaker 2 (52:38):
Uh so, so it's so just to ask. It's it's
like a it's like something like a sports related from
the movie. And then something random, right.

Speaker 1 (52:50):
It could be anything. I sometimes it's sports related, like
last time for Happy Gilmore, I picked the the construction
hat with the nail in it. You know, it's just
a matter of something. The only the only caveat it's
got to be something that if you've seen the movie,
and I've seen enough, you're like, that's from that movie.
So he's just got to be recognizable from the movie.

Speaker 2 (53:07):
I would say, megot's toothpick?

Speaker 1 (53:10):
Nice, Okay, So.

Speaker 2 (53:12):
The one where he's like in the library and I
am not it's just me. I Am not a toothpick person. Like,
if you ever watch baseball, the only the only person
who has that toothpick is what's his name, the Dusty Baker. Yeah,
I know how that dude hasn't swallowed that toothpick, right,

(53:33):
you know.

Speaker 1 (53:33):
Like and Megant has it every time except for when
he's like actively on the field, like if you see
him any other time. So maybe that's just a nelly
thing that he brought to it, you know.

Speaker 2 (53:43):
And then the other one, I think the funny one
would be, uh, he's the character's name is Joey Battle right,
uh Goldberg, the Goldberg's character. Yes, remember when here in
the locker room and he's like, they're like, oh, we
got this. This is the last thing that Caretaker got us.
All this cool gear, and he pulls out the giant

(54:05):
jockstrap because yeah, he's like supposed to be like well
endowed down there. It's like that scene where he's like uh,
He's like so I get to tackle him and Crew's like, yeah,
you can either tackle him or you can hit him
over the head with that hammer.

Speaker 1 (54:19):
And he's like, I want to hurt him, not kill him.

Speaker 2 (54:22):
I want to him not kill him.

Speaker 1 (54:23):
I wonder if they're like, Bill, we want you to
do this movie and he's like, I don't know if
I have time. It's like, but your character is gonna
have a huge dick. He's like, all right, I'll find time.
I'll find he's g's gonna be forty percent of your character.
It's just a you know, that's the situation. And as
far as jerseys go, that's the one I would want
because it doesn't have a number. It just has an
X on it. So it's like, yeah, basically, Brian Dawkins

(54:45):
reincarnate if he was a white packer, why.

Speaker 2 (54:48):
So what is the story behind that? Because he was
in another movie where his Jersey was X. Was he right?

Speaker 1 (54:57):
I don't know that he was.

Speaker 2 (54:58):
Maybe I'm thinking about a different thing. But why why
is it X?

Speaker 1 (55:03):
I don't know. I mean I guess they get away
with it because it's not really that important. Yeah, they
never really go into it. He just gets it and
everyone's got like Brucey is the single digit one, Like
everyone's just got what they got. So I don't know.
I don't think they ever really go into it.

Speaker 2 (55:19):
Goldberg doesn't wear an ex. He is known for his
signature spear move, and the X is the symbol often
associated with the WWE wrestler.

Speaker 1 (55:29):
I don't know that I agree with that.

Speaker 2 (55:32):
That's what AI Overview says.

Speaker 1 (55:34):
I mean, spear one thousand percent is just finishing move
without a doubt one hundred percent. Yeah, yeah, I know that.
I don't I've never seen him. There's a lot of
things you associated with Goldberg, and that's not one of them.
I don't think. Oh one thing. The other time, I
will mention the difference between the seventy four and the
five version with this when the Steve Austin character gets

(55:57):
carted off, you know in this one, it's I think
he shot himself. Oh, this guy shipp himself back and
forth in nineteen seventy four, was I think I broke
my fucking neck and it's and he just and the
guy's like, I told you I was gonna break his
fucking neck. So they they bring it down a whole
lot from broken neck to just shitting yourself, so that
that is what the other changes. All right, So you

(56:18):
got the toothpick, you got any others? I mean that's
a good one.

Speaker 2 (56:21):
Though, Yeah, the toothpick. Got a toothpick.

Speaker 1 (56:24):
Oh maybe you know what else will throw on there?
The the football tree out flyer, that would be cool
to have.

Speaker 2 (56:29):
Oh yeah, food. What did he say?

Speaker 1 (56:35):
How did he put the ball tree out? What the
hell is tree out? Yeah? And then h and he's like, yeah,
would you guys want to hit the guards? And he's
like how do we do that? It's like just come
to the tree outs, you know, and the back Yeah,
all right, home stretch here. Most memorable scene for you? Uh?
For me? I like going back when Sailor comes back

(56:59):
in the game, the players aren't blocking for him. They've
had it with this guy. And on the third one
he gets his helmet ripped off and he gets to
Jason Witten run like down the field and gets the
first down and they're all just looking at him like,
oh shit, maybe this guy does care again. And you know,
then he gets to tell the story like they're gonna
pin Caretaker's death on me, YadA YadA. So but from

(57:19):
the moment when they aren't blocking for him until he
tells that speech, that like five minute stretch is like
my favorite part of the movie.

Speaker 2 (57:28):
I would say my favorite part of the movie is
I just really like the end scene where the warden
gets like really mad and Paul Crew is like walking
to try to like get the game football and then
he like picks up the sniper rifle and he's like

(57:51):
shoot him. He's trying to escape or something like that.

Speaker 1 (57:55):
And then.

Speaker 2 (57:57):
What's the guy's name again, it's almost escaping.

Speaker 1 (58:00):
They never call him Captain. Yeah, they don't give him
on the IMDb, it's just Captain Canower.

Speaker 2 (58:08):
He's like Crew Crew, He's just like get out of
the way, and he's like he like sees he's picking
up the football and he like puts the gun down,
he like gives it back to the warden and then.

Speaker 1 (58:18):
He's disgusting gets the game ball.

Speaker 2 (58:20):
He's like it's the game ball and then and then
Michael Irvin and Terry Crew dumped the orange gatorade over
his head and he's like, good game, sir.

Speaker 1 (58:31):
It's actually Goldberg. It's Goldberg and and Irvan because Goldberg
gets the last line of the movie because they dump
it and he's like, that's a week in the hot
box and the last line is who gives this ship?
And then credits. Yeah, right right, but no, definitely that
that that's because like you think the movie's over, you
think you're on the decline, and then you get this
weird like Spike again, Like if you're watching this in

(58:53):
the theater, you're maybe like getting your ship together to leave.

Speaker 2 (58:56):
Like maybe maybe Sandler is gonna die. Yeah, he's the
same is gonna die.

Speaker 1 (59:01):
He's just gonna get head sniped in the in the
end of the you know, and like it would be
interesting to go back, and you know, if we ever
wanted to really like watch seventy four and then just
list all the major major differences, because I remember liking it.
I don't remember it being like a whole nother movie.
One of the most interesting things about this now that
we're watching it, this movie is like an hour hour

(59:24):
fifty three, so it's under two hours. The football game
starts at an hour eleven minutes, so this the whole
second half of the movie. Forty minutes of the movie
is the game. And there are very few sports movies
that have just one game. Usually that our heroes get
beat up in the first game, and then they get
the montage of all the games they win and they

(59:46):
get another crack at the team again.

Speaker 2 (59:48):
That's most That's that's the famous like Mighty Ducks, one.

Speaker 1 (59:52):
Mighty Ducks, whatever, it's gotta be. Yeah, so to have
to change the story of like you get practice and stuff,
but there's only one game, so literally the first half
of the movie leads up to the game and the
second half is all the game, which with a halftime
in between where they you know, got a bribe crew again.
But it's definitely a different template, which I do I

(01:00:13):
do appreciate. Yeah, how I don't know what ten is
for you as far as like football scenes in a movie,
But where do you rate the football scenes in this?
I think they do a decent job of like showing
what a hold actually could be, showing what a face
mask actually could be, even like when they throw the

(01:00:34):
ball at the ref's nuts. Like one thing I noticed
the other ref, the one that isn't Sailor's buddy. He's
an assistant coach in Friday Night Lights, like the show.
I love the show, so it's funny seeing him in there.
But like, on a scale one to ten, this is
a solid like seven and a half eight for the
football scenes.

Speaker 2 (01:00:49):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think that it like there's everything
you can see in a football game in this movie. Yeah,
you know, obviously, like the actual like some of the
characters in the movie aren't actually football players, like Adam Sandler.
Maybe he was a football player when he was like

(01:01:11):
in high school or something like that. But like, there
are a lot of players in this movie who were
seemed like they were never football players. Are definitely not
in shape to be football players. I don't I don't
know how you could prepare to be like good football
players in like two weeks or whatever. That's kind of

(01:01:32):
a I would say that's the That's probably the only
thing that makes this like an eight out of ten,
the fact that it's out of all the unbelievable things
in Sandler movies, that like you could train these guys
to play football in two weeks at a high, like
a relatively high level.

Speaker 1 (01:01:50):
I mean, I do think you have enough actual players
between Bosworth and yeah, Goldberg played college and pro Austin
played college.

Speaker 2 (01:02:02):
No, I know, I know, but those are but those
are like the the cars. A lot of them were like.
But a lot of these other guys, they're.

Speaker 1 (01:02:10):
They're just just Michael Irvin really and Terry Crews. Terry
Crews did play in the NFL brief the NFL.

Speaker 2 (01:02:18):
They could have got what why do you think they
couldn't have gotten brock Lesner.

Speaker 1 (01:02:22):
Well five, he's in the UFC, so that could be
why he's probably able to to Yeah, now I'm thinking
about it.

Speaker 2 (01:02:28):
Yeah, they probably choose him, they or John Cena. Imagine
if John Cena was in this movie.

Speaker 1 (01:02:34):
I mean, he's at the peak of his popularity at
this at that point, so that would have been a
great call for them. All right, last question, who is
the Adams sailor Paul crew like in his peak but
before the point shaving when he's in the NFL. Because
I don't think they ever say he won a Super Bowl,
but I think they call him an All Pro or
an m v P or something at some point, so

(01:02:55):
he's good. We know he's actually good. Who is the
Paul Crew comp in either zero five era time or
now you can either whatever's easier for you. Who do
you think is seeing his playing style? Who do you?
Who do you? I kind of give him like a
Justin Herbert esque just like the play style, which which
back then could be like a Philip Rivers.

Speaker 2 (01:03:17):
Even Ben Roethlisberger, Okay, just with a better understanding, just
in the sense of the fact that, like, I feel
like Big Ben was like super gritty, Like Big Ben
is the kind of guy who could like take like
fifty hits and like still come back up, but also

(01:03:41):
think about like legal trouble, you know, like if you
can think about like the I feel like the quarterback
position is one of those positions that you never like
you might hear that they're like jerks, Like people say
that Aaron Rodgers is a jerk, people say that Tom
Brady was kind of a jerk. You don't really see

(01:04:04):
quarterbacks get into like huge legal issues, especially like the
very good ones, but like that happens to Ben Roethlisberger
quite a few times. Yeah, or he got accused of
of of of things, but just the yeah twice and
you know, obviously he.

Speaker 1 (01:04:23):
At the same school that he wasn't a member of.

Speaker 2 (01:04:25):
Sorry going yeah, yeah, yeah he didn't. He crash his
motorcycle and then he went through a windshield or something
like that. So it's just like it's just like this
is like like this is that kind of I feel
like Ben Roethlisberger would have been the kind of quarterback
to just get drunk on the weekends, you know, like
he's just that guy. He's just super gritty and he's

(01:04:49):
just like it feels like he played in the NFL
like the last of that era where like quarterbacks were
actually like tough.

Speaker 1 (01:04:57):
You know. The other thing this movie did, as I
throw this thought out here, is like I forgot how
much I, like I knew I loved him still, but
like when Reebok made football gear for the NFL and
everything else, like how much better it was than Nike.
Like when they pull the machine jerseys out and then
the Rebok logos on, and I'm just like, yes, and the.

Speaker 2 (01:05:17):
Good the good Rebok logo and not like the current
like crappy Rebok logo that looks fricking terrible. Yeah, when
when when the NFL actually cared, cared about the jerseys
that were made, and they actually look like the jerseys
that were on the field, even the even the screen
printed ones, whereas now they're just like, oh, yeah, this

(01:05:40):
mold that we've been using for the last you know,
twelve years, Yeah we can use that. Just print a
bunch of numbers on them. You can't move your arms
up and down because you know, the sleeves to just
constrict you. But that's it.

Speaker 1 (01:05:54):
So this will be the last time we see Hank
on a movie review until Happy gill More two comes out.
We're already planning for that. I do want to give
him a break because he's helped me carry this series
the past six eight months. So it's it's been very
helpful to me on the way out here. We did
three of these. We did the Adam Sandler Trilogy of sports.

(01:06:15):
If you had to rate them, three two one one
being the best? Is it longest? You're water boy?

Speaker 2 (01:06:22):
Okay?

Speaker 1 (01:06:23):
Yeah, so what do you what do you got?

Speaker 2 (01:06:26):
But you know, that's tough, that's really tough because it's
like this one. I feel like.

Speaker 1 (01:06:39):
This might be the best movie. I don't know that
it's the most fun.

Speaker 2 (01:06:42):
Yeah, I feel like this movie is out of like
all of them, is probably, strangely enough, the most realistic
of the three, because it's like a guy who just
learns how to golf and he golfs really well, and
a guy who's never played football and he can open
up a can of flip ass. Okay, So like I

(01:07:04):
would say I would, I would still have to say, like,
based on nostalgia purposes, I like water Bought water Boy
the best, and then Happy Gilmour and then The Longest Yard.

Speaker 1 (01:07:16):
That's fair. Yeah, as far as the jokes.

Speaker 2 (01:07:22):
The jokes in the Water Boy are great, Like the
jokes in all the movie movies are great. I guess
like the redeemable one about this movie is the fact
that there's like Adam Sandler moved from like in his
first few movies he was the only one doing all
the insults. But I do like the fact in this movie,

(01:07:43):
and it really helps it out that there's a lot
of people insulting others to go around.

Speaker 1 (01:07:49):
I mean, you gotta think he evolves as a screenwriter,
because obviously this is a remake, but like the dialogue
couldn't be more different in between the two movies has
clearly been sandlarized, if that's a word. But now all
three of these, like I rewatched them for these but
I didn't need to, Like, I know these movies frontwards
and back, so it was just fun to revisit them

(01:08:09):
and create something that you know, people may not know existed,
was the trilogy of Sandlor sports movies. So I'm glad
we got to do that. I think Hank will be
on other episodes to talk regular sports and stuff, but
that'll be the next movie that we review together. So
I want to thank him for being here. Thank you
guys for listening. Let us know which one of the
three Sailor movies is your favorite. And you might have

(01:08:31):
noticed if you're watching on YouTube. I played around with
some camera cuts today. Let me know if you liked
the idea of doing that, that we're not just looking
at a stagnate screen all the time.

Speaker 2 (01:08:39):
The first one. The first one was real confusing because
I was like, did he log off? Is he gone?

Speaker 1 (01:08:44):
Like? I mean, I was gonna edit that part out,
but I'd rather be trying, but I probably still will. Yeah,
we did. We did have a hiccup in the beginning,
but yeah, let me know if you liked the idea
for the people watching. So but other than that, thank
you guys for watching. Take care and this group here
will see you in July for happy gill More to
so take care guys. Thanks Kam