August 7, 2025 • 15 mins
In this episode, I respond to a question from Caitlin, a mom navigating school refusal, anxiety, and potential learning disabilities with her 9-year-old son. I share my thoughts on how to approach school struggles from both a therapeutic and practical standpoint, including the importance of evaluations for learning disorders, the pros and cons of changing school environments, and what to consider when exploring alternatives like charter or homeschool.
I also explain why removing an anxious child from a difficult situation without therapeutic support can actually reinforce anxiety—and how thoughtful, intentional changes made with your child’s specific needs in mind can set them up for success. If school mornings feel like a battle, this episode will give you a compassionate perspective and actionable direction.
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Common References:
Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge.
Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:02):
You're listening to the
Play Therapy Parenting Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks.
Hi,
I'm Dr. Brenna Hicks,
The Kid Counselor.
This is the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast where I give you insight,
awareness,
and enlightenment about your parenting
and your relationship with your kids.
In today's episode,
I am answering a question from Caitlin,
(00:22):
and Caitlin is asking about her child struggling with going to school
and potentially considering changing the school
environment and or the school process
and wanting some insights and thoughts on that.
So Caitlin,
first,
thank you so much for the question.
And I've gotten quite a few
inquiries and questions about schools and whether it's the fit for the child,
(00:45):
whether they need to have other considerations,
so.
This is obviously a very common consideration.
A lot of my parents at the center,
when I'm actively working with their children ask
us these types of questions as well,
whether or not it should be home school or charter school or a specialty school.
So I'm really happy that we can process this together.
So thank you,
Caitlin.
(01:06):
So let me read parts of her email and then we'll dive in together.
Hi,
I'm a relatively new listener,
but I'm already loving your podcast.
I'm so glad.
Welcome,
by the way.
By the way,
if you are a relatively new listener to the play therapy parenting family,
we are so glad you're here
and very much excited to have you.
This is
(01:26):
a community of people that care deeply about kids
and so you're here because that's true of you,
I'm sure,
and we're very grateful that you found us and
we're grateful that we hang out together each week.
OK,
so continuing with the email.
I have a 9 year old boy who is anxious,
has had school refusal for 3 years,
and I believe he may have some learning disabilities.
I have him scheduled for an evaluation for learning disabilities.
(01:48):
Let me pause there.
I think it is so important.
I'm actually very anti-diagnosis.
I'm very anti-medication.
I'm very anti-labels,
and
I have a lot of reasons for that.
The main ones are that goes on a permanent mental health record
and when a child is 3 or 4 years old and they're struggling with anxiety,
for example,
(02:09):
they get diagnosed with an anxiety disorder.
At 18 years old,
that record follows them.
They go to enlist in the military,
they go to enroll in a college.
They want security clearance for their job,
whatever the scenario is,
and someone can see that they were diagnosed when they were a child with anxiety
or whatever the the the diagnosis was.
(02:30):
And I just think that we need to be really protective of kids and their records,
so that's the main one.
There's all kinds of other reasons,
but
if you have questions about that,
please email me.
I would love to chat with you about that.
I'm really passionate about protecting the records of mental health for children,
so email me if you want to process that more,
but.
In contrast to my anti-diagnosis bent,
(02:50):
I'm actually very much supportive of
having children evaluated for learning disabilities.
When a child is struggling in school
and there is a reason for it because sometimes it's emotional and that gets
sorted out with therapy sometimes it's behavioral
and that gets sorted out with therapy
but if there is actually a learning disorder
and it can be diagnosed,
(03:13):
maybe it's working memory,
maybe it's processing,
maybe it's.
Some other kind of issue when dyslexia,
dyscalcula,
all kinds of options.
If that is at the heart of why a child is struggling,
the child feels different,
the child feels ill equipped,
the child usually ends up feeling dumb.
(03:33):
And they start to internalize all kinds of very negative messages.
Their,
their internal dialogue turns so toxic,
and they start saying there's something wrong with me and
I'm stupid and I'm an idiot and I can't do this
and I'm a moron and I have no idea what I'm doing
and none of those things are true,
but that's the way they fill in the gaps when they don't have accurate information.
(03:54):
And all it takes is having them told,
your brain just mixes up numbers when you look at them,
so that's why it's so hard for you to do math.
Now all of a sudden the why changes
everything because math doesn't necessarily get easier,
but now there are accommodations at school.
Now there is a plan to make sure that the child has
(04:16):
everything set up for success to the best of their ability,
and the child knows that there's a reason
for why they're struggling in math.
It's not that they're stupid.
And so I'm actually very much a proponent of getting evaluations
for learning disabilities and if it comes back that no,
there is no learning disability that also is valuable
(04:37):
because then there's no concern there's no wondering,
there's no lack of clarity we know for sure that there is not
something more going on so therefore now we're gonna take a different path.
So Caitlin,
I'm actually very happy to hear that you're pursuing that,
and that will give you some clarity moving forward
regardless of how that ends up.
(04:57):
OK,
so let me continue reading the email now.
He dreads school every morning is a fight full of tears,
throwing himself on the floor,
refusing to get dressed,
stomach aches,
and at time hitting himself.
This has been going on for a couple of years.
He is currently in a public school,
starts 5th grade in August,
which it is officially August,
so I'm sure that's very soon.
We are considering a switch in school environments.
(05:18):
Would switching to a charter school be helpful?
The school would have in-person classes two days a
week and the rest would be done at home.
We were thinking it would relieve some pressure,
allow him to get caught up,
and also leave time for tutoring or other appointments he may need.
I'd love your thoughts on changing school environments for anxious kids.
OK,
so
a lot to unpack here,
so let's take these one at a time.
(05:39):
First and foremost,
when you have a highly anxious child,
and I'm not sure you didn't indicate whether or not Caitlin,
he's in therapy.
If he's not,
I highly recommend play therapy,
specifically child-centered play therapy.
If you would like some referrals to
child-centered play therapists that I can personally vouch for,
I'd be happy to do that.
Shoot me another email.
(06:01):
I think that generally speaking when a child is highly anxious,
they need to reduce their anxiety through therapeutic work
they need to build resilience and coping
through therapeutic work
they need to build an emotional vocabulary
so that their big feelings don't feel so confusing.
They're actually are able to recognize what they're feeling
(06:22):
and communicate them so their needs can get met.
There's a lot that goes,
obviously an increase in self-esteem would also
help with anxiety because you trust yourself,
you believe in yourself,
you know that you're capable,
you don't feel as anxious.
So there's all kinds of layers to what therapy would do,
and that's why we highly advocate for
child-centered play therapy for anxious children.
I mean,
for all kinds of other reasons too,
(06:43):
but you're,
you're talking about your anxious son.
So here's my concern with your last
comment.
I'd love your thoughts on changing school environments for an anxious child,
OK.
What we fight against a lot as therapists
is parents who are very quick
to say,
well,
if this is a big concern for my child,
if this is making my child really anxious,
(07:04):
if this is overwhelming for my child,
I'll just remove
that environment or that scenario and then they won't have to be so scared.
That actually reinforces the anxiety.
Because by not having to face it,
by not having to work through it,
by not having to conquer it.
And by getting rescued by just having it removed,
(07:25):
they can avoid
their fear
and anxiety manifests on itself
when you can just constantly avoid,
avoid,
avoid,
avoid.
So we talk to parents a lot
about
we can't rescue a child by just removing what is stressful for them.
We can't rescue them from just taking them out of that anxious environment.
(07:45):
And I'm not saying that that's your implication.
I just wanted to make that clear because I don't want this to come off as,
sure,
just pull your kid if the environment's making them anxious.
That's not at all what I think is helpful,
and we would never advocate that as child-centered play therapists.
What we do advocate though
is
knowing your child.
Meeting your child where they are
(08:05):
and being open to exploring better fits.
Not every child
is a fit for traditional public schooling.
Not every child is a traditional fit
for that teacher,
that school,
that classroom.
It might not even be that the school in and of itself is an issue.
Maybe it's a relational fracture with the teacher.
(08:28):
Maybe it's he's been branded
as the kid that won't go to class and so it's now a social construct
that he's trying to avoid.
Maybe it's the fact that he feels labeled as the kid
that doesn't come and then can't do anything when he's there.
There can be all kinds of other components to why he's avoiding it.
It could be classroom specific,
(08:49):
it could be teacher specific,
it could be that school specific.
Maybe another public school
would be a much better fit for him.
Maybe home school would be a better fit for him.
Maybe a charter school would be a better fit for him.
Maybe a private school would be a better fit for him.
We always advocate that you understand what your child's needs are
(09:10):
and you make accommodations based on where is this child
likely to be set up for the most success?
Where is this child likely to thrive?
There are all different kinds of learners.
There are all different kinds of personalities of children.
There are all different kinds of emotional and behavioral and relational needs
in different kids.
(09:30):
So
the standard process is not necessarily the fit for every kid.
And I think it's actually really wise and helpful,
Caitlin,
that you're considering this because it seems as though he is really struggling.
Now,
you mentioned somatic symptoms,
he gets stomach aches,
that's absolutely somatic fancy word for his emotions
are so big that he's feeling it physically.
(09:53):
He's throwing himself on the floor,
refusing to get dressed.
He's fighting,
he's crying.
That's big feelings
being expressed to show you how much he's dreading it.
Now is it just anxiety?
Is it created by a whole bunch of other scenarios?
Is it micro experiences all strung together?
Is it fear of failure?
Is it,
I mean,
there's so many options,
(10:14):
but starting 5th grade,
that's your final year of elementary school in most
schools.
So he has one final year in elementary school
before he has to make the transition to middle school
and middle school is a whole different animal,
whole different ball game.
So many kids struggle to adjust to middle school
because it's just,
(10:35):
it's so different.
So he has one
last year of predictable schooling
if he stays where he is,
but it's also a helpful time to transition because I don't
think you would want to transition him before middle school.
So that's another factor to keep in mind the timing of making a change like this,
is this the most appropriate time because
(10:57):
change into middle school is hard enough making another change on top of that,
we try to minimize change if at all possible.
So changing one thing would be more ideal than changing several.
You mentioned a charter school.
Our son was in a charter school for quite a few years.
Charter schools are run
very similarly to private schools,
but they are in fact considered public,
(11:18):
so you kind of get a blend of both of a public
school that actually is run and functions more like a private school,
and usually charter schools have specific focal points.
So it's either
art or it's STEM,
or it's music,
or it's
some other kind of focus.
So charter schools can be really appropriate for kids that really have a passion.
(11:40):
You know,
if your kid absolutely loves.
The arts
and you can find an art-based charter school that might really
engage your son in a way that traditional public school didn't.
So I would absolutely look into charter schools because
I think that that might make more sense,
especially since it seems like it's a hybrid
of kind of in person and then at home.
(12:00):
Homeschooling is another option.
We switched to homeschooling our son when he was in 6th grade,
and it is by far the best decision we've ever made as a family.
We consistently and regularly,
all three of us,
my son,
my husband and myself,
we all talk about
how grateful we are that we are a homeschooling family,
how it has made our lives so much better in so many ways.
(12:21):
It is not nearly as hard as everyone thinks.
I've had so many people say,
oh,
I wish that we could homeschool.
You can.
It is not difficult.
We had no idea about homeschooling until we made the decision to home school
and we leapt in and we were mid-year.
It was during Christmas break that we made the switch.
We were not prepared.
We had no idea what to do
and we talked to some homeschooling families and they said,
(12:42):
look into this,
look into this,
look into this,
and we were doing it within a couple of weeks.
It is not as hard as you think.
Many children
function and operate so much more healthily and.
Happily
in a homeschooling environment,
so that's another option and a lot of homeschooling families do co ops
where you do some at home and some with other kids and you go on field trips and
(13:03):
you do science experiments together and so it becomes
more of a collective collaborative schooling instead of just
home by yourself.
So there's all kinds of options,
Caitlin.
What I'm trying to point out is your son
is obviously struggling and has been for 3 years.
So something is not working.
Could it merely be
that he has an undiagnosed learning disorder or two,
(13:24):
and that is at the heart of all of it,
and when that gets addressed,
maybe he won't have such an aversion to school,
won't have so many high levels of anxiety.
We need to kinda wait that out and see what happens,
but regardless,
there are other schooling options
for an anxious kid,
let me wrap this up by saying this
for an anxious child,
any change that you make,
(13:45):
even if you say,
OK,
I'm going to switch to a charter school,
I'm going to switch to home school,
whatever the changes,
he needs plenty of time to prepare,
he needs plenty of time to think through it,
ask questions,
emotionally process it,
feel ready.
Anxious kids like predictability.
They like stability.
(14:05):
They do not like change.
They do not like surprise.
It would be very helpful to him
to know far in advance,
to understand what's to come,
to give him as many expectations as you can,
walk him through what it will look like.
It's going to be very important for him
to feel like he knows what's coming.
Because anxiety is oh no oh no oh no
(14:29):
and we're going to try to equip him with as much information
so that even if he's a little bit unsure of it,
it's not
fear inducing.
So make sure if you make a decision,
you give him ample time to process,
you let him know far in advance
and it kind of becomes a process of discussion that he can work through.
All right,
(14:50):
Caitlin,
thank you so much for the question.
I hope that is helpful to more than just Caitlin.
I know many of you are dealing with very similar struggles
and if you have questions about homeschooling,
if you have questions about charter schools,
I have experience with both.
Actually my son was in Montessori school before that and I was Montessori educated.
So if you have questions about schooling in general,
(15:10):
even if it's not for the podcast,
if you just want to chat with me,
please email me brenna@thekidcounselor.com.
I'd be happy to share our experience and my thoughts on that.
Thank you for the emails,
keep them coming.
I,
I'm we're trying to work through your questions as quickly as possible,
and I really greatly appreciate your investment in your kids.
I really enjoy spending time with y'all each week.
(15:31):
We'll talk again soon.
Bye.
Thank you for listening to
the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks.
For more episodes and just subscribe to our newsletter,
please go to www.playtherapyparenting.com.
You're listening to the
Play Therapy Parenting Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks.
Hi,
I'm Dr. Brenna Hicks,
The Kid Counselor.
This is the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast where I give you insight,
awareness,
and enlightenment about your parenting
and your relationship with your kids.
In today's episode,
I am answering a question from Caitlin,
(00:22):
and Caitlin is asking about her child struggling with going to school
and potentially considering changing the school
environment and or the school process
and wanting some insights and thoughts on that.
So Caitlin,
first,
thank you so much for the question.
And I've gotten quite a few
inquiries and questions about schools and whether it's the fit for the child,
(00:45):
whether they need to have other considerations,
so.
This is obviously a very common consideration.
A lot of my parents at the center,
when I'm actively working with their children ask
us these types of questions as well,
whether or not it should be home school or charter school or a specialty school.
So I'm really happy that we can process this together.
So thank you,
Caitlin.
(01:06):
So let me read parts of her email and then we'll dive in together.
Hi,
I'm a relatively new listener,
but I'm already loving your podcast.
I'm so glad.
Welcome,
by the way.
By the way,
if you are a relatively new listener to the play therapy parenting family,
we are so glad you're here
and very much excited to have you.
This is
(01:26):
a community of people that care deeply about kids
and so you're here because that's true of you,
I'm sure,
and we're very grateful that you found us and
we're grateful that we hang out together each week.
OK,
so continuing with the email.
I have a 9 year old boy who is anxious,
has had school refusal for 3 years,
and I believe he may have some learning disabilities.
I have him scheduled for an evaluation for learning disabilities.
(01:48):
Let me pause there.
I think it is so important.
I'm actually very anti-diagnosis.
I'm very anti-medication.
I'm very anti-labels,
and
I have a lot of reasons for that.
The main ones are that goes on a permanent mental health record
and when a child is 3 or 4 years old and they're struggling with anxiety,
for example,
(02:09):
they get diagnosed with an anxiety disorder.
At 18 years old,
that record follows them.
They go to enlist in the military,
they go to enroll in a college.
They want security clearance for their job,
whatever the scenario is,
and someone can see that they were diagnosed when they were a child with anxiety
or whatever the the the diagnosis was.
(02:30):
And I just think that we need to be really protective of kids and their records,
so that's the main one.
There's all kinds of other reasons,
but
if you have questions about that,
please email me.
I would love to chat with you about that.
I'm really passionate about protecting the records of mental health for children,
so email me if you want to process that more,
but.
In contrast to my anti-diagnosis bent,
(02:50):
I'm actually very much supportive of
having children evaluated for learning disabilities.
When a child is struggling in school
and there is a reason for it because sometimes it's emotional and that gets
sorted out with therapy sometimes it's behavioral
and that gets sorted out with therapy
but if there is actually a learning disorder
and it can be diagnosed,
(03:13):
maybe it's working memory,
maybe it's processing,
maybe it's.
Some other kind of issue when dyslexia,
dyscalcula,
all kinds of options.
If that is at the heart of why a child is struggling,
the child feels different,
the child feels ill equipped,
the child usually ends up feeling dumb.
(03:33):
And they start to internalize all kinds of very negative messages.
Their,
their internal dialogue turns so toxic,
and they start saying there's something wrong with me and
I'm stupid and I'm an idiot and I can't do this
and I'm a moron and I have no idea what I'm doing
and none of those things are true,
but that's the way they fill in the gaps when they don't have accurate information.
(03:54):
And all it takes is having them told,
your brain just mixes up numbers when you look at them,
so that's why it's so hard for you to do math.
Now all of a sudden the why changes
everything because math doesn't necessarily get easier,
but now there are accommodations at school.
Now there is a plan to make sure that the child has
(04:16):
everything set up for success to the best of their ability,
and the child knows that there's a reason
for why they're struggling in math.
It's not that they're stupid.
And so I'm actually very much a proponent of getting evaluations
for learning disabilities and if it comes back that no,
there is no learning disability that also is valuable
(04:37):
because then there's no concern there's no wondering,
there's no lack of clarity we know for sure that there is not
something more going on so therefore now we're gonna take a different path.
So Caitlin,
I'm actually very happy to hear that you're pursuing that,
and that will give you some clarity moving forward
regardless of how that ends up.
(04:57):
OK,
so let me continue reading the email now.
He dreads school every morning is a fight full of tears,
throwing himself on the floor,
refusing to get dressed,
stomach aches,
and at time hitting himself.
This has been going on for a couple of years.
He is currently in a public school,
starts 5th grade in August,
which it is officially August,
so I'm sure that's very soon.
We are considering a switch in school environments.
(05:18):
Would switching to a charter school be helpful?
The school would have in-person classes two days a
week and the rest would be done at home.
We were thinking it would relieve some pressure,
allow him to get caught up,
and also leave time for tutoring or other appointments he may need.
I'd love your thoughts on changing school environments for anxious kids.
OK,
so
a lot to unpack here,
so let's take these one at a time.
(05:39):
First and foremost,
when you have a highly anxious child,
and I'm not sure you didn't indicate whether or not Caitlin,
he's in therapy.
If he's not,
I highly recommend play therapy,
specifically child-centered play therapy.
If you would like some referrals to
child-centered play therapists that I can personally vouch for,
I'd be happy to do that.
Shoot me another email.
(06:01):
I think that generally speaking when a child is highly anxious,
they need to reduce their anxiety through therapeutic work
they need to build resilience and coping
through therapeutic work
they need to build an emotional vocabulary
so that their big feelings don't feel so confusing.
They're actually are able to recognize what they're feeling
(06:22):
and communicate them so their needs can get met.
There's a lot that goes,
obviously an increase in self-esteem would also
help with anxiety because you trust yourself,
you believe in yourself,
you know that you're capable,
you don't feel as anxious.
So there's all kinds of layers to what therapy would do,
and that's why we highly advocate for
child-centered play therapy for anxious children.
I mean,
for all kinds of other reasons too,
(06:43):
but you're,
you're talking about your anxious son.
So here's my concern with your last
comment.
I'd love your thoughts on changing school environments for an anxious child,
OK.
What we fight against a lot as therapists
is parents who are very quick
to say,
well,
if this is a big concern for my child,
if this is making my child really anxious,
(07:04):
if this is overwhelming for my child,
I'll just remove
that environment or that scenario and then they won't have to be so scared.
That actually reinforces the anxiety.
Because by not having to face it,
by not having to work through it,
by not having to conquer it.
And by getting rescued by just having it removed,
(07:25):
they can avoid
their fear
and anxiety manifests on itself
when you can just constantly avoid,
avoid,
avoid,
avoid.
So we talk to parents a lot
about
we can't rescue a child by just removing what is stressful for them.
We can't rescue them from just taking them out of that anxious environment.
(07:45):
And I'm not saying that that's your implication.
I just wanted to make that clear because I don't want this to come off as,
sure,
just pull your kid if the environment's making them anxious.
That's not at all what I think is helpful,
and we would never advocate that as child-centered play therapists.
What we do advocate though
is
knowing your child.
Meeting your child where they are
(08:05):
and being open to exploring better fits.
Not every child
is a fit for traditional public schooling.
Not every child is a traditional fit
for that teacher,
that school,
that classroom.
It might not even be that the school in and of itself is an issue.
Maybe it's a relational fracture with the teacher.
(08:28):
Maybe it's he's been branded
as the kid that won't go to class and so it's now a social construct
that he's trying to avoid.
Maybe it's the fact that he feels labeled as the kid
that doesn't come and then can't do anything when he's there.
There can be all kinds of other components to why he's avoiding it.
It could be classroom specific,
(08:49):
it could be teacher specific,
it could be that school specific.
Maybe another public school
would be a much better fit for him.
Maybe home school would be a better fit for him.
Maybe a charter school would be a better fit for him.
Maybe a private school would be a better fit for him.
We always advocate that you understand what your child's needs are
(09:10):
and you make accommodations based on where is this child
likely to be set up for the most success?
Where is this child likely to thrive?
There are all different kinds of learners.
There are all different kinds of personalities of children.
There are all different kinds of emotional and behavioral and relational needs
in different kids.
(09:30):
So
the standard process is not necessarily the fit for every kid.
And I think it's actually really wise and helpful,
Caitlin,
that you're considering this because it seems as though he is really struggling.
Now,
you mentioned somatic symptoms,
he gets stomach aches,
that's absolutely somatic fancy word for his emotions
are so big that he's feeling it physically.
(09:53):
He's throwing himself on the floor,
refusing to get dressed.
He's fighting,
he's crying.
That's big feelings
being expressed to show you how much he's dreading it.
Now is it just anxiety?
Is it created by a whole bunch of other scenarios?
Is it micro experiences all strung together?
Is it fear of failure?
Is it,
I mean,
there's so many options,
(10:14):
but starting 5th grade,
that's your final year of elementary school in most
schools.
So he has one final year in elementary school
before he has to make the transition to middle school
and middle school is a whole different animal,
whole different ball game.
So many kids struggle to adjust to middle school
because it's just,
(10:35):
it's so different.
So he has one
last year of predictable schooling
if he stays where he is,
but it's also a helpful time to transition because I don't
think you would want to transition him before middle school.
So that's another factor to keep in mind the timing of making a change like this,
is this the most appropriate time because
(10:57):
change into middle school is hard enough making another change on top of that,
we try to minimize change if at all possible.
So changing one thing would be more ideal than changing several.
You mentioned a charter school.
Our son was in a charter school for quite a few years.
Charter schools are run
very similarly to private schools,
but they are in fact considered public,
(11:18):
so you kind of get a blend of both of a public
school that actually is run and functions more like a private school,
and usually charter schools have specific focal points.
So it's either
art or it's STEM,
or it's music,
or it's
some other kind of focus.
So charter schools can be really appropriate for kids that really have a passion.
(11:40):
You know,
if your kid absolutely loves.
The arts
and you can find an art-based charter school that might really
engage your son in a way that traditional public school didn't.
So I would absolutely look into charter schools because
I think that that might make more sense,
especially since it seems like it's a hybrid
of kind of in person and then at home.
(12:00):
Homeschooling is another option.
We switched to homeschooling our son when he was in 6th grade,
and it is by far the best decision we've ever made as a family.
We consistently and regularly,
all three of us,
my son,
my husband and myself,
we all talk about
how grateful we are that we are a homeschooling family,
how it has made our lives so much better in so many ways.
(12:21):
It is not nearly as hard as everyone thinks.
I've had so many people say,
oh,
I wish that we could homeschool.
You can.
It is not difficult.
We had no idea about homeschooling until we made the decision to home school
and we leapt in and we were mid-year.
It was during Christmas break that we made the switch.
We were not prepared.
We had no idea what to do
and we talked to some homeschooling families and they said,
(12:42):
look into this,
look into this,
look into this,
and we were doing it within a couple of weeks.
It is not as hard as you think.
Many children
function and operate so much more healthily and.
Happily
in a homeschooling environment,
so that's another option and a lot of homeschooling families do co ops
where you do some at home and some with other kids and you go on field trips and
(13:03):
you do science experiments together and so it becomes
more of a collective collaborative schooling instead of just
home by yourself.
So there's all kinds of options,
Caitlin.
What I'm trying to point out is your son
is obviously struggling and has been for 3 years.
So something is not working.
Could it merely be
that he has an undiagnosed learning disorder or two,
(13:24):
and that is at the heart of all of it,
and when that gets addressed,
maybe he won't have such an aversion to school,
won't have so many high levels of anxiety.
We need to kinda wait that out and see what happens,
but regardless,
there are other schooling options
for an anxious kid,
let me wrap this up by saying this
for an anxious child,
any change that you make,
(13:45):
even if you say,
OK,
I'm going to switch to a charter school,
I'm going to switch to home school,
whatever the changes,
he needs plenty of time to prepare,
he needs plenty of time to think through it,
ask questions,
emotionally process it,
feel ready.
Anxious kids like predictability.
They like stability.
(14:05):
They do not like change.
They do not like surprise.
It would be very helpful to him
to know far in advance,
to understand what's to come,
to give him as many expectations as you can,
walk him through what it will look like.
It's going to be very important for him
to feel like he knows what's coming.
Because anxiety is oh no oh no oh no
(14:29):
and we're going to try to equip him with as much information
so that even if he's a little bit unsure of it,
it's not
fear inducing.
So make sure if you make a decision,
you give him ample time to process,
you let him know far in advance
and it kind of becomes a process of discussion that he can work through.
All right,
(14:50):
Caitlin,
thank you so much for the question.
I hope that is helpful to more than just Caitlin.
I know many of you are dealing with very similar struggles
and if you have questions about homeschooling,
if you have questions about charter schools,
I have experience with both.
Actually my son was in Montessori school before that and I was Montessori educated.
So if you have questions about schooling in general,
(15:10):
even if it's not for the podcast,
if you just want to chat with me,
please email me brenna@thekidcounselor.com.
I'd be happy to share our experience and my thoughts on that.
Thank you for the emails,
keep them coming.
I,
I'm we're trying to work through your questions as quickly as possible,
and I really greatly appreciate your investment in your kids.
I really enjoy spending time with y'all each week.
(15:31):
We'll talk again soon.
Bye.
Thank you for listening to
the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks.
For more episodes and just subscribe to our newsletter,
please go to www.playtherapyparenting.com.
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