October 21, 2024 • 40 mins
Send us a text In this episode, Eric V, David O, and Carly S. share their experience, strength, and hope. Podcast Recovery is a forerunner in digitally accessible addiction recovery support. We provide ease and convenience to any and all seeking a message of recovery and hope. By broadcasting the stories of recovering addicts, we act as a complement to all other recovery services. We exist to create a global foundation platform, so that any addict may hear a message of strength and hope. We ...
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Episode Transcript
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(00:03):
Welcome back to Podcast Recovery.
We are your host, David O. Carly S.
And Eric V. And Eric V Every time.
Just. OK, you love it.
You love that cadence too. Yeah.
So we are wrapping up our 32 Principles for Recovery review.
(00:24):
So it's been a while of the book.
Yeah, one of our one of our previous guests sent us this
Rick McNeil. We've gone through all of them.
Check them out. Yeah, they've been good so far.
I've been I've listened to up tofive or out 'cause you've
already put up. Up to five.
We've we've recorded 7. So yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
(00:46):
And now, all right, here we are on number 8.
So it's Principle 29. We've been doing 4 principles at
a time. We read them out loud and then
we, you know, see where it goes.Give them thumbs up and a thumbs
down. Principle 29.
Time is a precious commodity that should be treated like
water during a drought. How?
(01:09):
Time is a precious commodity that should be treated like
water during a drought. How the fuck is that okay?
You should fucking care for that.
I get it, but how is this a principle for recovery?
Let me see. Time management.
Okay, OK, let me read a. Little quality of the way you
(01:29):
spend your time. Yeah, I mean, see, and like
that's that's been some of the things, like some of them are
fucking stupid, like the way he has worded them.
But then he like saves it in post.
OK. It would be such a wonderful
thing if people gave more value to time.
We can even cause harm to othersby not valuing valuing their
time, such as being late for a meeting or an appointment.
(01:50):
I know of one medical reception.OK, blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah. I don't care about your whatever
story this is. Set aside a little more time for
doing something constructive anduseful.
Devote more time to your family and loved ones.
Build stronger relationships with friends, love.
Look for opportunities to be a blessing to someone else that
(02:10):
might be struggling emotionally or financially.
Keep in mind not to jeopardize your own recovery in the
process. OK, OK, now I now I kind of get
it. Instead of giving up, we need to
hold on just a little bit longerbefore we get to that boiling
point where we can finally startcooking something wonderful.
What the fuck? There was some sort of cooking
(02:33):
reference. OK, Time is a precious commodity
that should be treated like water during a drought.
I'm, I'm ambivalent to this. I don't think it's a, is it a,
is it a principle of recovery orjust like a life lesson?
I feel like it's a what are those called again like?
(02:54):
A parable? Yeah, kind of.
Yeah, it's like, it's more like that than like anything else.
I don't think this is a principle for recovery.
Yeah, it's like, did he? It's kind of like, it's like
water should be treated like, like time should be treated with
the same. What does?
This have to do with recovery. Well, well, let's just, yeah, go
to the essence of Is time equal to water?
(03:17):
No, you're you're going off on acomplete fucking stupid.
Tangent 'cause I said before time management, so you think
unmanageability in that sense? Yeah, like, yeah.
And he like he did talk about that a little bit, like help a
neighbor or or find a friend in need, send an e-mail to an old
friend or relative that you've lost touch with.
(03:39):
Something a lot of work. Yeah, I, I, I think it's worded
very poorly. Very, very poorly.
I did have that like reference to your machima, so I mean just.
I mean, that's just having valuefor life.
Like, really. I mean, like time is time is a
commodity that should be treatedlike water during a drought.
(04:00):
When it stems from this one, I just don't understand it.
Yeah, water isn't. Water is what actually keeps you
alive. Like time is just what you you
you experience. Time plus I don't know.
You have some water. I'm having difficulty with this
one because. I think it's 30 two.
Well, we've did like 32 principles.
It's too much. Well I missed the 1st 28 I know.
(04:24):
Well, you're, you're coming in at 29, you know, we're talking
about. Water, well, we're talking about
time is what we're really talking about, yeah.
And water. No.
We're not it. It don't.
I don't like the concept of time.
It just stresses me out because I feel like I don't have enough
time for everything. But that's not true, because if
I if it's important to me, then I will find the time for it for
(04:46):
what's important. Yeah, I think it, yeah.
I mean, we would have to reword this thing entirely to be like,
you know, manage your time better there.
Boom. That's a fucking that's a
principle for recovery. You know, value your time and
use it effectively. That oh, it's, it's like water
in a drought. Fucking this.
(05:09):
This was worded poorly. I'm giving it a thumbs down.
I'm abstaining. I don't understand it.
You're. Abstaining, I don't yeah, I I
don't understand your thumbs up.Thumbs down.
Or you can give a mid you can abstain.
Say SUS mid Yeah. SUS mid shut the fuck?
I don't know I'm. It doesn't have.
That I'm still processing and it's what's happening in my
head. All right, well.
(05:29):
Trying to understand it, yeah. So I can give it a thumbs up or
a thumbs down. All right, well, here Principle
30. Principle 30 Your health and
physical condition can affect your emotional well-being.
OK. I think that's fair.
Scan it does there read read a little bit.
According to the World Health Organization, poor health and
depression are interrelated. I like this.
(05:52):
People who suffer from decliningor poor health are more likely
to experience depression. Oh yeah.
It's like you have people who get clean and then like they eat
their way into sadness. OK, that's yeah, sure.
That's one way to take it, Eric.That's what I'm taking that's.
(06:12):
What I'm taking studies primary care companion sites that
studies that found physical symptoms are common with major
depression and can lead to chronic pain.
Yeah, that's true. Yeah.
Seems like yeah, cortisol levelsand stuff in your bloodstream,
yeah. Symptoms associated with
depression include joint pain, limb pain, back pain,
(06:33):
gastrointestinal problems, fatigue, psychomotor activity
changes and appetite changes. There we go.
We're eating ourselves into yeah.
OK, so wait, what was the title of it again?
Your health and physical condition can affect your
emotional well-being. It's saying to, OK, it's saying
to like, actually treat your body with some fucking respect.
It says we can. I love, I love this.
(06:55):
Given this information, we can see how important our health is,
both emotionally and physically.Like I, I, yeah.
And like, I've liked a lot of these principles, but like, and
like, I know you've missed a lotof these and I'm sorry, but
like, yeah, yes, I am. Yeah.
(07:15):
The way that's worded, I like that.
Like your health and physical condition can affect your
emotional well-being. That's just a statement of.
Fact it is. Now the principle should be,
hey, you know, take care of your, your, your emotional
health or your physical health and it will protect your
spiritual, it will protect your like.
(07:36):
But that goes with what Sam was just saying.
Yeah. Because he was just talking
about how the blow. Thinking of him separately,
yeah. That they're all kind of in one.
Because he thought that if his spiritual was fixed, then
everything else would be fixed. But that's not the case.
Yeah, necessarily. Exactly.
The mind and body will not necessarily follow.
Yeah, exactly. And, and I, I mean, we've talked
(08:01):
about it for however long about,you know, people come into
recovery and all they're addressing is, oh, my, my
substance abuse. And then, like Eric said, very
crudely, eating themselves into depression.
It's true, though. Like people come into recovery
and get fat because they're not paying attention to the fact
that like, yeah, cocaine was keeping you skinny for many
(08:23):
years and now it's not anymore. Just like, you know, nicotine
was keeping David skinny for many years and now it's not.
And I'm like, oh, 15 lbs doesn'tfeel good.
Like and then it makes me sad. It makes me very sad because I'm
like, why do my knees and ankleshurt like they never have
before? There's. 15 lbs of.
Extra David because 15 lbs of extra David is not good and you
(08:46):
know I'm working towards gettingrid of it.
That might just be you, David. Now you know, that might just be
the new David. I'm just letting you know.
You are a dad now. You're a dad and you're not
smoking. No, and you're like 30 something
3637 just be doing. This to me, both of you, I do
not want to be. Because I'm deflecting stuff.
Because I'm having those same issues and I don't want to talk
(09:08):
about me so. Let's talk about you.
Yeah, David's, David. OK, I think, I think all of us
want to lose weight. Is that correct?
Yes. OK, so let's get honest.
And if I'm not happy with the way that my body looks, then my
mind, emotionally, I'm not good.Oh yeah, and it, and it like,
and that's goes back to like, what?
Yeah, it all bleeds into each other.
Like, doesn't it affects your sex life too, doesn't it?
(09:29):
It effects mine, I mean. I'm lazier, yeah, if I'm.
Well, not only that, but if you don't, if you're not comfortable
in your own body, like you don'tfeel, you don't feel sexy.
So you know, it can affect your,your sexual drive, which then
you know will affect your relationship with your partner.
Like it it, it can have like really far reaching effects.
(09:50):
But what I was going with that was like, OK, so David wants to
lose 15 lbs. How much do you want to?
How much do you want to lose? Probably 15.
OK. What about you, Eric?
25 you. Want to lose 25?
Yeah. Wow.
Where are you at? Where are you at?
Are you comfortable? I'm at 165.
I'm at 165. Yeah, OK, that makes sense
because I'm, I'm a what, 3 inches?
(10:11):
Taller. You're a few inches taller,
yeah. Yeah, you're what, 5-7?
Like 5-5 you're 556 somewhere around.
OK so I got like 3-4 inches on you.
Are you are you like standing onyour tip toes?
Like what's going on here? I'm. 59 fucker I am a perfect
you are. Not I am 5 are you stand up?
I'm 59. Let's see, let's see.
(10:33):
I'm 59. I'm 5-6.
I don't know, David. I don't know.
Don't count your hair. I'm pressing down on my head.
You're like maybe 5/8. Fuck you.
I'm just saying, I'm literally saying I think you're like
closer to 5-8 if I'm 5655, like you're 5/8.
(10:55):
I literally went to the doctor for this like two months ago.
Did you take your shoes off Maybe?
I don't know okay I'm 59 shoes fuck you you guys are fucking
with me I don't like you guys anymore okay either way I'm
taller than you so it makes sense that your weight would be
10 lbs more than less yeah yeah you wanna lose 10 more but I'm
(11:18):
also. Stockier than you.
You are wider. You know, I'm more broad.
Yes, you've broader shoulders than I do.
Which? Has always been a pain in the
ass. Yeah, I'm just kidding.
I don't like the broadness, but.But anyway, yeah, back to yeah,
your, your health and physical condition will help will affect
your emotional well-being. So the principle is take care of
(11:39):
your body and it will help your emotions.
Yes, I like this one. I like this one.
Yeah. Thumbs up.
Three thumbs up. Fantastic.
Very true. Principle 31 Discovery for
Recovery. You have a purpose and you must
find it. OK, I like that.
Just off just the title. I like that you have a purpose
(12:00):
and you must find it. I'll read.
I'll read a little bit. I believe that we can not we.
Let me, I'll rewind that. I believe that we cannot truly
be fulfilled until we discover our purpose.
Once you discover your purpose, your life will have a lot more
meaning. 2 great sentences rightoff the bat.
(12:22):
One of the reasons that addiction has such a hold on
people is that they have yet to discover their purpose.
A good book to read is the purpose of Driven the Purpose
Driven Life by Rick Warren OK, maybe we'll go through that one
next. Maybe this book is a 40 day
journey into discovering your purpose.
As a life coach, my goal is to assist people in achieving their
highest potential by getting them to understand their
(12:44):
strengths and weaknesses. I begin by blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah blah, OK, the primaryfocus is on how to improve
communication skills and in a person.
OK, you cannot become who you want to.
This isn't bold. You cannot become who you want
to be until you recognize and understand who you really are.
(13:06):
I I love that. I like it.
Yeah, you, you have a purpose and you must find it.
Yeah. Have you guys found your
purpose? I think so.
I don't know. I know my purpose like and like
this is something I found out like a few years into recovery
because I was like, I was just like, I was actually in like a
(13:28):
really dark fucking place at thetime.
And I was like, why the fuck am I here?
Like for real? Like what, what, what is my
purpose here? And like, bottom line, just to
like strip it down to like what it was is like, my purpose here
is to make every interaction with everybody in my life be as
(13:50):
as good as it possibly can and to make their life a little bit
better than it was before the interaction.
And that's my purpose of life onearth, period.
Like with everybody I interact with, I want to make them a
little like make them smile, make them happy, make like do
whatever I can to enrich their life just a little bit in
(14:11):
whatever amount of time I'm given with that person.
And that's my purpose. Jesus.
Wow. I'm.
I'm so glad I stunned you guys into into silence.
What about you? You got one?
No. Nothing.
No, not like that. No.
I mean, my purpose is like for my daughter and shit like that,
(14:32):
you know? Yes, but I mean and like that
and that's absolutely part of it.
At this point in life, my purpose is Tucker and rib gift.
That's fine, That's good. That's.
Making their lives. As good as it possibly can for
their whole life, right? Yeah.
(14:53):
You're in charge of these littletiny sentient crazy asshole.
Don't call them crazy assholes. They can.
They aren't they? Can be, but they're actually,
they're absolutely friggin sweetheart.
You're just very excited to see you when you come in the door.
They're very excited. I know they're very excitable
and but no, somebody like pet moms and dads out there is very
(15:16):
important. I'm going to rescue as many dogs
as I I can in my entire life. That's that's an amazingly noble
fucking thing to do. Like, not everybody's purpose is
is the same, yeah. Honestly though, the only time I
find purpose is at work, which Idon't like because that's the
(15:41):
only place that I feel like I have a purpose and I don't like
that. Oh, that's not true.
You have purpose in my life. You've incredibly important
purpose in my life. Like you're a sex.
Yeah. Like, like I, I don't turn to a
lot of people. That could be true.
(16:02):
That could be true, but the way that I feel or what I think
sometimes is that my only purpose is at work and I don't
like that because. Shut the fuck up.
I'm just playing the background.The way that things have changed
at work has made me doubt even that this past year.
So then there's been zero purpose anywhere.
(16:25):
Feel you. Oh God, yeah.
Yeah, work can be a bitch. But then it's not supposed to be
about work. No.
Right like I. Mean.
That's not good. Your purpose in life is your
job. Like that's fucking.
Depressing well, no, it it depends on what your job is like
teacher like for you know, somebody dealing with kids like
(16:48):
my purpose is to help these kidsas much as I possibly can
that's. Great, good one.
That's fantastic. Because that's not even like,
that's not, those aren't your kids.
Those are other people's kids. Yeah.
And the fact that you give a shit enough to, like, show up
and do the right thing for, you know, however many, what, 120
kids in the school? I don't know how many.
(17:08):
Is that about right? 520 kids.
I don't know. I don't know how big that
fucking school is. Yeah, 520 kids.
Exactly. So like, like you're, you're in
charge of shepherding a shit tonof kids every year and you've
been doing it for seven years. Yeah, that's hundreds and
hundreds and thousands of kids by this point that like, have
(17:30):
been in your, like, custody. Like my, it is my it is my job
to keep these kids safe from 8:00 to 4:00 every day.
You're going to have you. Show up and you do your best
goddamn fucking work. That's amazing purpose.
They're going to, they're going to see you soon in the real
world. Dude, it happens all the time.
Yeah, it happened currently and I will be a target.
(17:51):
Like her name is. Carly Yeah, it's weird.
It has to be and then I get. Confused for her husband, which
is also. Hilarious.
That's hilarious. It is weird though because like
they that I only see them through till they're like 14 and
then I don't recognize them. When I see them in the real
world, they still recognize me because like, I haven't really
changed all that much, but they've gone from like they've
(18:13):
hit 14 to like 21. Yeah, we're our final Pokémon
evolution. They're like their middle
evolution. It's really weird.
Yeah. Have wait, so have you had kids
that you didn't recognize come up to you?
Yeah, ohh, it's really uncomfortable, Yeah.
And like, I'll think that I remember their name, but then I
don't wanna say their name in case I'm wrong.
(18:34):
Hey, you. Yeah.
Hey you. You.
What about you, Eric? And you said purpose is is.
I don't just my, my animals and my, my, you know, family and
that sort of shit. That's great.
Yeah, dude, there's no wrong answer.
Yeah, like, as long as you've found like, and, and it's gonna
change, you know, it's not gonnabe the same.
But like, no, I, I love that onefinding just find some sort of
(18:56):
purpose. And if like, if your purpose is,
hey, I'm gonna be the best recovering addict and help as
many people recover as I possibly can, that's fantastic.
I'm gonna be a zookeeper. Fantastic.
Like whatever it is. That'd be cool.
Yeah, that's what I was just thinking.
That would be really fucking cool.
Apparently it's not it. Doesn't sound fun.
Though it's yeah they're like also like they from what I've
(19:17):
heard, is like whatever your favorite animal is don't work
with your favorite animal because it'll like fuck you up
yeah cuz. Like, like Penguins though?
No, they're nasty, aren't they? I've heard they're not as nice.
Otters. I feel like otters are really
too wine with. On a day-to-day basis, otters
are like it could be a lot. Let's hold hands.
(19:38):
I want to work with bears. Oh.
Hell yeah, that'd be badass. But now like.
People who like little bears, mylittle rippies.
But no, when you're in charge oflike elephants and you're like,
hey, you know, I love elephants and then you have to give it an
baby elephants and like I like. Oh, because of that.
Red pandas would be cute. Yeah, apparently they can be
assholes though. We can train them out.
(20:00):
Of and. OK, fun fact about red pandas.
So red pandas were discovered before giant pandas.
So when you're when so they werecalled pandas first.
So when you say panda, you're actually referring to them and
not giant pandas. Well, I'm always referring to a
red panda. And when I'm talking about
pandas, I mean I really don't give it.
I mean, they they can't even. Have it they should, they
(20:20):
shouldn't. Exist.
I mean, they're literally, we'reliterally forcing them to have
sex with each other anyway to like keep their fucking lines
going. So principle.
Principle 31. Find a purpose in your life
because it'll help you. We'll read it one more time.
Discovery for recovery. You have a purpose and you must
find it. Yep.
Absolutely thumbs up. Find your purpose in recovery in
(20:41):
life and you know it'll give. It'll make things more special,
more meaningful. Good, good principle.
All right. What do we got 32?
Principle 32. There are 9 undeniable truths of
addiction. Oh, OK.
So this is one by one. Yeah, 91.
Your addiction will eventually destroy everything in all caps
(21:01):
you value. Maybe if you let it get to that
point. I yeah, I'd I'd have to agree
with that it. Depends on where your bottom is,
yeah. Yeah, read it one more time.
Your addiction will eventually destroy everything you value.
Yeah, yeah, I'll agree with that.
Like if if you do not if you don't do something about your
(21:24):
addiction. It will eventually.
Yeah, eventually it granted we only have 80 years on this life,
but if if we had several 100, you know, eventually it would
do, it would do its fucking whatever, it would do its job
and kill you. Next one.
Yep #2. Misery becomes your most
(21:46):
constant companion. Oh, yes and no.
If we're at the depths. I don't like constant you're.
Constant. Yep, I agree.
Yeah, I, I would say recurring because it can come back,
because things can go well in your life to the point where
(22:09):
you're you you stop doing the things that are good for you and
then misery comes back. So I I yeah, I don't think it's
constant. I think it's recurring.
But were you texting Eric? My wife.
Oh, oh, I can't hate on that. Yeah, I was about to be like
live in the now, man. But no, it's your wife.
(22:30):
OK, so misery is one more time. Misery becomes your most
constant companion. No, not constant, but it
recurring. But yeah, it's a friend.
Yeah. And if, I mean, that's kind of
life in general, yeah. Yeah.
Like, life can be miserable sometimes.
(22:51):
Like, people die, people move on.
Like like lots of stuff happens so.
Adulting is hard. Adulting is hard, but it's not
all the time. But if you don't do anything
about it, it can stay longer than it needs to.
So recurring misery, not constant.
OK. Three, you have unstable and
(23:13):
dysfunctional relationships. Yeah. 100% and these are 9.
What was the? 9 undeniable truths of
addiction. And #3 is you have.
Unstable and dysfunctional relationships.
Absolutely. Yep.
Yep, totally Yep. And especially with yourself.
Your relationship with yourself is completely dysfunctional.
(23:37):
OK, that's an all reliable truth.
Yep, number. 4 You often feel depressed and hopeless.
Yeah. Often I like the word often and
that's it circles back to your misery one.
But I like that we use the word often.
Yeah, Yep, he he reworded that alot better.
Yeah, I mean, that's the thing. Like if if you were people who
(23:59):
are out there happily using technically don't have a problem
because they're happy. No, they don't.
Have a. Problem like if, if if your life
if you're using is not unmanageable.
Then it's not an issue. Then it's not a What issue do
you? Why is it?
People are always looking for the issue so.
Well, unmanageable. That's the problem.
(24:21):
We're not there yet. No, OK, OK, But yes, depression,
what was it #4? Often you often feel depressed
and hopeless. Yep, Yep, that's Yep, that's.
Hopelessness for sure. Truth of an addiction?
Yep. Five, you constantly feel
annoyed, irritated, or even angry.
Oh yeah, that's how I feel everyday.
(24:42):
Oh. Yeah, this is it.
Is it how you feel every day? I'm literally wearing a shirt
that just says fuck it all, fuckthis world.
So yeah, Yep. Irritated at so many things all
the time but I'm and I'm clean. Just crazy.
I'm trying to think back to likeact of addiction.
Was I constantly annoyed, irritated or angry?
(25:02):
I mean, I was. I mean, yeah.
Right, I was high. But you're annoyed.
But I was. You're annoyed about it trying
to get high, Yeah. Yeah, that was annoying.
Yeah, yeah. Whenever back in the day, but
you, any of you kids, there usedto be like these things called
droughts. Where you couldn't deal on it.
Where you couldn't find drugs orthe drug you specifically wanted
(25:22):
and pissed you off. Yeah.
Yep, Yep. Absolutely.
They probably still have those. I probably.
Do just not with weed anymore. Not with weed.
Weed. 'S not but a lot of time.
Once I was high, I was not irritated or angry.
No, but that's the the. I could be though.
Yeah, and I mean, that's the same with like misery and like
(25:44):
the other two with like, depression and shit.
Like I might be depressed until I fucking do a lot of cocaine
and then I'm like, this is all amazing.
Yeah, so. And then it doesn't last.
And then you're depressed or annoyed or irritated or angry
again. There you go.
Six, your life feels chaotic andunmanageable.
There you go. There's.
Yes, yes, there. So yeah.
(26:06):
And that goes back to the crux of the issue.
Yeah, somebody who is, I don't know if, if, if Jeff Bezos is,
is slamming heroin every day andhe's like, I'm one of the top 3
richest people on Earth. I was like, well, then I guess
you don't have a problem. I mean, for you, dude.
I mean you're, you're a piece ofshit and you're why.
Messi's rich, is this going backto you?
(26:28):
Yeah. There's so many things wrong
with Jeff Bezos that I won't getinto it.
He's the type of person who hunts people for sport.
Dude, he's part of a club that eats endangered animals.
That's what I'm saying. I bet he hunts people for sport.
Yeah, that's some piece of shit level stuff.
But ultimately. There's a club for that.
(26:50):
Of course there is. If you're super fucking rich, of
course. Like the Super adventure friends
or super adventure club friends?Exactly.
There were two of them in the South Park episode one one was
about adventuring, the other wasabout pedophilia.
But yes, I know the Super is what you know, differentiated.
Yeah, if you're, if you're like if everything in your life is
(27:12):
working out perfectly and everybody's happy with you,
like, yeah, technically you don't have a problem.
But it's the chaos and unmanageability in our
relationships, in our emotional state and all the other things
that we just went over. Can we talk about something
super creepy real quick? Just real quick.
I'm going to take a samp on a tangent here.
OK, so I was talking. Yeah.
(27:35):
Hard no, Hard no has nothing to do with this.
OK, what's the OK, So I just jumped onto homedepot.com over
here and here's what's really weird.
So I was talking to my dad the other day and we were talking
about these 16 gauge, you know, nail like nails that I need for
a nail gun. And fucking first picture up
here is fucking 16 gauge fuckingnail gun that I have like just
(27:59):
staring at me. Creepy, creepy.
It got that off Fucking words. Oh yeah, marketing is so creepy.
Yeah, your phone is your phone is on dude, creepy yeah, it had
you know, dude, you know like how many do you know how many
Slipknot videos are coming up onmy phone?
I just in the last week I. Hate when it happens like that,
though. I hate when the marketing is
like, oh, we're just gonna like.We're just literally gonna
(28:21):
listen to your mic. Listen to what you're saying.
And then like, we're gonna put it on a different computer and
like. You had shit that you haven't
even set out. Loud.
Yes. You've thought it.
You thought it. Think it.
I thought it. That's what makes me think of
this fucking matrix anyway, OK? But that's also algorithms too,
and they're just predicting yourbehavior.
Target has such a good algorithmthat it can predict if you're
(28:44):
pregnant off of stuff that you're buying.
Yeah. So it'll start fucking like it
will know. Target will know that you're
pregnant before you know you're pregnant by you're buying
behaviors. Isn't that crazy?
That's insane. OK, I don't want to talk about
this. OK, Next.
It's like we're not going to target.
Any that is a creepy tangent. Thank you, Eric.
(29:05):
Yeah. Seven, your addiction causes
poor judgment leading to bad decisions.
Absolutely no argument. Yeah.
No argument. Yeah, it's no discussion to be.
Had needed no. Why?
Don't you gesture to? Me because you're a prime
example of this. Yes, Yep.
(29:25):
OK. Alright, moving on.
You become more critical of others, often blaming people,
places and things for what are your own shortcomings.
Yeah. Oh yeah, deflection.
You're just staring a hole for me.
Carly. Do we need to talk about this
one? I know.
I think I think he's doing really well at this point.
Is there is there any more? No, the guy.
(29:46):
Oh. Yeah, and there's one more.
There's one more 9. Your family, friends, and
coworkers begin to question yourbehavior.
Yes, actually, just like what Sam said.
But sometimes you're really goodand you can.
Hide it. I don't think mine ever
questioned my behavior. I think your coworkers did,
didn't they? That's because they saw me doing
lines of coke. Oh, when you get to like.
(30:07):
Actively caught red handed, yeahOh my God.
Really. I didn't know you were caught
red handed. Well, I mean some like they, I
thought they were, some of them did it with me, but it was like.
Oh, OK. And then they ratted you out.
Well, because they realized theydidn't have a problem and I did.
Oh, so they still got something to do with coke?
Oh, those bastards. No, no, no, no, not bastards
(30:27):
don't do that. OK.
This was all in the Catholic. Oh my goodness.
Sissy headed mini muggins. What, haven't you seen an elf?
Come on. Friends.
In a while again friends I don'tknow.
Friends. Yeah, so.
Wait, yeah. What are the breakdowns?
Family, friends and coworkers. Family, friends and coworkers
yeah my family Start Stop talking to me my.
(30:50):
Family had no idea. My sister completely stopped
talking to me, like I wasn't allowed to see my nieces and
nephews. That and I cut myself off from
my family. So they were like, clearly he's
fucked up. Yeah.
No, my family had no idea. Yeah, my family does.
A lot of my friends were doing it with me.
Friends. Yeah.
So my friends, yeah. Like they're, well, they're all
still out using besides for Brad.
(31:10):
And Brad knew I had a problem. And until he got clean, like,
yeah, I mean, he knew he had a problem.
So he wasn't clean that long before he got clean.
Like a year and a half, a year and a half, two years.
Yeah. But I mean, once he had that
realization of like, oh, Brad has a problem, then he, like,
kind of looked at the people around him.
He was like, oh, yeah, David hasa problem, too.
(31:31):
Yeah. So he knew.
But yeah, none of my friends ever confronted me because we
were all doing the same shit. Yeah.
I had friends confront me at different points for sure.
Well, you were really bad like. I hate my moment.
We're doing the hierarchy of using here.
Carly was the best, David's in the middle.
You were the worst. I was like really good at it.
(31:53):
You were, yeah, you were like, yeah, you were.
You were super successful. I was successful until I I mean.
You were successful, but. You were also shooting.
Dope I wasn't successful, but I wasn't shooting Dope I.
Hit my bad point. I'll hit a point where it's
like, oh, Eric's about to fall off the waterfall.
Isn't he? Like, you know, sort of like,
yeah, I remember going to my grandmother's house.
I thought I was totally cohere. And I was not.
(32:14):
Yeah. But like, I was like, I'm gonna
play this game. I was probably, like, crazy.
And I was like you, falling asleep.
But like, yeah, you were more, we're at more risk of the drugs
taking you out than I was. And I was at, I was at more risk
of me taking myself out. And Carly was just like, yeah,
I'm just having way too much funall the time.
(32:34):
I'm still doing everything that I needed exactly.
My behavior at work was fine. My behavior at home was fine,
yes. Like that's the hard.
Part, but inside you were dying.Correct.
Yeah, correct. And then Co workers.
I never worked anywhere. I began to question my own
behaviors, what happened, not myfamily, friends and Co workers.
Oh, really? See you Yeah, you were way you
(32:57):
just. I had Co workers when I was like
filming weddings. You're you're, you're the
Princess Peach to my Wario. To your wario.
Yeah, I've actually been called Waluigi recently by several
people and it makes. Me sad.
Why? That makes sense actually, I can
see it. I like Waluigi and I'm like why?
I love EG. It's true.
(33:18):
I'm a Weegee. OK, I think that wraps up.
That wraps up for the 32. Oh, I totally just crushed
Carly's tone. I'm so sorry about that.
But we are going to have to, we do have to do Wow.
The final solution, right? Yeah, the.
No, don't say that. Yeah, no, I mean that is.
(33:41):
That yes, it is final solution now.
Yes, in conclusion, the final. Solution Solution which?
Talked about this. You can't use those words.
Do we want to just go into that right now and just make this
just finish off this episode with all this?
Like, sure, let's talk about thefinal.
Solution. So at the end of this book
there's an in conclusion in verybig bold and then right
(34:04):
underneath that there's smaller bold, bold print that says the
final solution. Terrible decision, terrible name
to you do know what that's talking about, correct?
The final solution? Well, we talked about World War
2 a lot in this these. Episodes so.
So it's not I. Don't know if you know anything
(34:24):
about the the phrase the final solution.
That's what it was called with the extermination of the Jews.
It was called the final solutionlike which is horrendous.
So the fact that you like he putit in, I don't think he meant I
don't. Think he meant I don't.
Think he meant that at all. I it's just a very poor choice
of fucking words. It's just a very poor for
fucking choice of words. So the final solution here.
(34:48):
The final solution can be summedup in 2 words.
Get help. Perfect.
You can start by finding a knowledgeable professional such
as a life coach, counselor, or behavioral specialist.
Perhaps even a caring volunteer that is familiar with recovery
issues such as sponsor, mentor, pastor in your local area.
Ask for your healthcare provider.
Who? How many people in addiction had
(35:10):
healthcare providers? I don't.
David, are you joking? That's how I got my drugs.
OK. Yeah, that's 30% of the people
in this room, not the majority. That's how I ended up where I
ended up. OK.
That's 66%. 66% apparently I'm the minority and I had
absolutely no health. Care.
I didn't and then I was forced to go to 1.
(35:31):
And then you realize, Oh my God,this is a drug dealer in
disguise. Dude, I still don't have a
primary care physician. Oh I do.
I have a primary care I have a doctor for like my gut.
I have a doctor for my legs. I need to get a doctor for.
I have a doctor for tons of. Things primary care physician,
but I don't regularly go. I go every year.
I just had my physical. I cancel and then reschedule and
(35:52):
then or just don't reschedule atall and then it just.
I have too many medical problemsnot to go.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, you do.
I'm. Relatively healthy, but we'll
see. I do.
Need you have that extra 15 lbs.I don't know.
I know. I do need AI do need.
APC Didn't you just say you wereat the doctor the other day?
That was for work when you were 59.
(36:14):
Oh, it's really shady, but by purchasing the book, this book,
you've demonstrated that you arewilling to invest in yourself
and that your life is worth it. When you really commit to
yourself to change, great and wonderful things begin to have
begin to transpire. Everyone's recovery must begin
somewhere. Perhaps yours can begin here.
(36:36):
I would strongly suggest that you complete the Leading from
Your Strengths profile through the Ministry inside.
OK, I'm not going to go through all that.
Isn't there a little checklist there?
That's just OK. So yeah, make the following
(36:56):
resolution checklist for yourself.
Check off each item as you complete it.
Make a decision as to where or who you will go to for help.
OK, check. Adopt an accountability plan and
find a few people who can make yourself accountable to inform
them of your resolution of recovery and expand and express
(37:16):
your need for having someone to be accountable to.
That's way along with you complete a leading from your
strengths profile@blahblahblah.com, which
I'm not. No, I'll put it on there.
Just, you know, this is another tool for everybody.
Ministry insights.com. If you want to do a lead from
(37:39):
your strengths profile there, goahead and then make a list of
measurable goals, such as how many AA/AA, NA meetings you will
commit to attending every week. Share those goals with whoever
you made yourself accountable to.
Yeah. This is a lot of like relying on
self to do this. Yeah, I mean, well, I mean in
(38:02):
the very beginning, he says. He says get help.
Yeah. And I guess that's like #1 on
the thing. But then it's like.
Go to this Go to this website. Make yourself accountable to
people. Make it as.
Like, right, yeah, I get that. I don't know.
I don't know it I. Mean it like this has been a, a
good tool, the 32 principles of recovery.
(38:25):
It's, it's, it's a little fluffyin there, but it is like we were
just doing this to highlight another tool outside AANA.
So, you know, if anybody's interested in the 32 principles
for recovery, you know, give it a try, give it a try.
Give it, you know, go through all these.
There's a lot of World War 2. There's several World War 2
(38:48):
references which were very baffling at the time, but you
know, some of these principles are great.
Some of the some of them are were not for us.
But this is still a valuable piece towards, you know, the
recovery puzzle. And so, yeah, 32 Principles for
recovery by Rick McNeil, Wisdom to the Light, the pathway for
recovery. Good stuff.
(39:09):
And you know, we'll be finding some other ones also, which
we'll probably do next is the road to Wellness, which we'll
see what this all has entailed. But everybody, thank you for
joining us. And Carly, we're glad you got to
bookend this at the end. And yeah.
Go to all our sites. Go to all our websites.
(39:31):
Like share, subscribe. Like, share, subscribe, listen
to all the episodes for 32 Principles of Recovery and also
listen to all the podcast recovery episodes as well, but
most importantly, everybody out there.
Stay safe and stay clean.
Welcome back to Podcast Recovery.
We are your host, David O. Carly S.
And Eric V. And Eric V Every time.
Just. OK, you love it.
You love that cadence too. Yeah.
So we are wrapping up our 32 Principles for Recovery review.
(00:24):
So it's been a while of the book.
Yeah, one of our one of our previous guests sent us this
Rick McNeil. We've gone through all of them.
Check them out. Yeah, they've been good so far.
I've been I've listened to up tofive or out 'cause you've
already put up. Up to five.
We've we've recorded 7. So yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
(00:46):
And now, all right, here we are on number 8.
So it's Principle 29. We've been doing 4 principles at
a time. We read them out loud and then
we, you know, see where it goes.Give them thumbs up and a thumbs
down. Principle 29.
Time is a precious commodity that should be treated like
water during a drought. How?
(01:09):
Time is a precious commodity that should be treated like
water during a drought. How the fuck is that okay?
You should fucking care for that.
I get it, but how is this a principle for recovery?
Let me see. Time management.
Okay, OK, let me read a. Little quality of the way you
(01:29):
spend your time. Yeah, I mean, see, and like
that's that's been some of the things, like some of them are
fucking stupid, like the way he has worded them.
But then he like saves it in post.
OK. It would be such a wonderful
thing if people gave more value to time.
We can even cause harm to othersby not valuing valuing their
time, such as being late for a meeting or an appointment.
(01:50):
I know of one medical reception.OK, blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah. I don't care about your whatever
story this is. Set aside a little more time for
doing something constructive anduseful.
Devote more time to your family and loved ones.
Build stronger relationships with friends, love.
Look for opportunities to be a blessing to someone else that
(02:10):
might be struggling emotionally or financially.
Keep in mind not to jeopardize your own recovery in the
process. OK, OK, now I now I kind of get
it. Instead of giving up, we need to
hold on just a little bit longerbefore we get to that boiling
point where we can finally startcooking something wonderful.
What the fuck? There was some sort of cooking
(02:33):
reference. OK, Time is a precious commodity
that should be treated like water during a drought.
I'm, I'm ambivalent to this. I don't think it's a, is it a,
is it a principle of recovery orjust like a life lesson?
I feel like it's a what are those called again like?
(02:54):
A parable? Yeah, kind of.
Yeah, it's like, it's more like that than like anything else.
I don't think this is a principle for recovery.
Yeah, it's like, did he? It's kind of like, it's like
water should be treated like, like time should be treated with
the same. What does?
This have to do with recovery. Well, well, let's just, yeah, go
to the essence of Is time equal to water?
(03:17):
No, you're you're going off on acomplete fucking stupid.
Tangent 'cause I said before time management, so you think
unmanageability in that sense? Yeah, like, yeah.
And he like he did talk about that a little bit, like help a
neighbor or or find a friend in need, send an e-mail to an old
friend or relative that you've lost touch with.
(03:39):
Something a lot of work. Yeah, I, I, I think it's worded
very poorly. Very, very poorly.
I did have that like reference to your machima, so I mean just.
I mean, that's just having valuefor life.
Like, really. I mean, like time is time is a
commodity that should be treatedlike water during a drought.
(04:00):
When it stems from this one, I just don't understand it.
Yeah, water isn't. Water is what actually keeps you
alive. Like time is just what you you
you experience. Time plus I don't know.
You have some water. I'm having difficulty with this
one because. I think it's 30 two.
Well, we've did like 32 principles.
It's too much. Well I missed the 1st 28 I know.
(04:24):
Well, you're, you're coming in at 29, you know, we're talking
about. Water, well, we're talking about
time is what we're really talking about, yeah.
And water. No.
We're not it. It don't.
I don't like the concept of time.
It just stresses me out because I feel like I don't have enough
time for everything. But that's not true, because if
I if it's important to me, then I will find the time for it for
(04:46):
what's important. Yeah, I think it, yeah.
I mean, we would have to reword this thing entirely to be like,
you know, manage your time better there.
Boom. That's a fucking that's a
principle for recovery. You know, value your time and
use it effectively. That oh, it's, it's like water
in a drought. Fucking this.
(05:09):
This was worded poorly. I'm giving it a thumbs down.
I'm abstaining. I don't understand it.
You're. Abstaining, I don't yeah, I I
don't understand your thumbs up.Thumbs down.
Or you can give a mid you can abstain.
Say SUS mid Yeah. SUS mid shut the fuck?
I don't know I'm. It doesn't have.
That I'm still processing and it's what's happening in my
head. All right, well.
(05:29):
Trying to understand it, yeah. So I can give it a thumbs up or
a thumbs down. All right, well, here Principle
30. Principle 30 Your health and
physical condition can affect your emotional well-being.
OK. I think that's fair.
Scan it does there read read a little bit.
According to the World Health Organization, poor health and
depression are interrelated. I like this.
(05:52):
People who suffer from decliningor poor health are more likely
to experience depression. Oh yeah.
It's like you have people who get clean and then like they eat
their way into sadness. OK, that's yeah, sure.
That's one way to take it, Eric.That's what I'm taking that's.
(06:12):
What I'm taking studies primary care companion sites that
studies that found physical symptoms are common with major
depression and can lead to chronic pain.
Yeah, that's true. Yeah.
Seems like yeah, cortisol levelsand stuff in your bloodstream,
yeah. Symptoms associated with
depression include joint pain, limb pain, back pain,
(06:33):
gastrointestinal problems, fatigue, psychomotor activity
changes and appetite changes. There we go.
We're eating ourselves into yeah.
OK, so wait, what was the title of it again?
Your health and physical condition can affect your
emotional well-being. It's saying to, OK, it's saying
to like, actually treat your body with some fucking respect.
It says we can. I love, I love this.
(06:55):
Given this information, we can see how important our health is,
both emotionally and physically.Like I, I, yeah.
And like, I've liked a lot of these principles, but like, and
like, I know you've missed a lotof these and I'm sorry, but
like, yeah, yes, I am. Yeah.
(07:15):
The way that's worded, I like that.
Like your health and physical condition can affect your
emotional well-being. That's just a statement of.
Fact it is. Now the principle should be,
hey, you know, take care of your, your, your emotional
health or your physical health and it will protect your
spiritual, it will protect your like.
(07:36):
But that goes with what Sam was just saying.
Yeah. Because he was just talking
about how the blow. Thinking of him separately,
yeah. That they're all kind of in one.
Because he thought that if his spiritual was fixed, then
everything else would be fixed. But that's not the case.
Yeah, necessarily. Exactly.
The mind and body will not necessarily follow.
Yeah, exactly. And, and I, I mean, we've talked
(08:01):
about it for however long about,you know, people come into
recovery and all they're addressing is, oh, my, my
substance abuse. And then, like Eric said, very
crudely, eating themselves into depression.
It's true, though. Like people come into recovery
and get fat because they're not paying attention to the fact
that like, yeah, cocaine was keeping you skinny for many
(08:23):
years and now it's not anymore. Just like, you know, nicotine
was keeping David skinny for many years and now it's not.
And I'm like, oh, 15 lbs doesn'tfeel good.
Like and then it makes me sad. It makes me very sad because I'm
like, why do my knees and ankleshurt like they never have
before? There's. 15 lbs of.
Extra David because 15 lbs of extra David is not good and you
(08:46):
know I'm working towards gettingrid of it.
That might just be you, David. Now you know, that might just be
the new David. I'm just letting you know.
You are a dad now. You're a dad and you're not
smoking. No, and you're like 30 something
3637 just be doing. This to me, both of you, I do
not want to be. Because I'm deflecting stuff.
Because I'm having those same issues and I don't want to talk
(09:08):
about me so. Let's talk about you.
Yeah, David's, David. OK, I think, I think all of us
want to lose weight. Is that correct?
Yes. OK, so let's get honest.
And if I'm not happy with the way that my body looks, then my
mind, emotionally, I'm not good.Oh yeah, and it, and it like,
and that's goes back to like, what?
Yeah, it all bleeds into each other.
Like, doesn't it affects your sex life too, doesn't it?
(09:29):
It effects mine, I mean. I'm lazier, yeah, if I'm.
Well, not only that, but if you don't, if you're not comfortable
in your own body, like you don'tfeel, you don't feel sexy.
So you know, it can affect your,your sexual drive, which then
you know will affect your relationship with your partner.
Like it it, it can have like really far reaching effects.
(09:50):
But what I was going with that was like, OK, so David wants to
lose 15 lbs. How much do you want to?
How much do you want to lose? Probably 15.
OK. What about you, Eric?
25 you. Want to lose 25?
Yeah. Wow.
Where are you at? Where are you at?
Are you comfortable? I'm at 165.
I'm at 165. Yeah, OK, that makes sense
because I'm, I'm a what, 3 inches?
(10:11):
Taller. You're a few inches taller,
yeah. Yeah, you're what, 5-7?
Like 5-5 you're 556 somewhere around.
OK so I got like 3-4 inches on you.
Are you are you like standing onyour tip toes?
Like what's going on here? I'm. 59 fucker I am a perfect
you are. Not I am 5 are you stand up?
I'm 59. Let's see, let's see.
(10:33):
I'm 59. I'm 5-6.
I don't know, David. I don't know.
Don't count your hair. I'm pressing down on my head.
You're like maybe 5/8. Fuck you.
I'm just saying, I'm literally saying I think you're like
closer to 5-8 if I'm 5655, like you're 5/8.
(10:55):
I literally went to the doctor for this like two months ago.
Did you take your shoes off Maybe?
I don't know okay I'm 59 shoes fuck you you guys are fucking
with me I don't like you guys anymore okay either way I'm
taller than you so it makes sense that your weight would be
10 lbs more than less yeah yeah you wanna lose 10 more but I'm
(11:18):
also. Stockier than you.
You are wider. You know, I'm more broad.
Yes, you've broader shoulders than I do.
Which? Has always been a pain in the
ass. Yeah, I'm just kidding.
I don't like the broadness, but.But anyway, yeah, back to yeah,
your, your health and physical condition will help will affect
your emotional well-being. So the principle is take care of
(11:39):
your body and it will help your emotions.
Yes, I like this one. I like this one.
Yeah. Thumbs up.
Three thumbs up. Fantastic.
Very true. Principle 31 Discovery for
Recovery. You have a purpose and you must
find it. OK, I like that.
Just off just the title. I like that you have a purpose
(12:00):
and you must find it. I'll read.
I'll read a little bit. I believe that we can not we.
Let me, I'll rewind that. I believe that we cannot truly
be fulfilled until we discover our purpose.
Once you discover your purpose, your life will have a lot more
meaning. 2 great sentences rightoff the bat.
(12:22):
One of the reasons that addiction has such a hold on
people is that they have yet to discover their purpose.
A good book to read is the purpose of Driven the Purpose
Driven Life by Rick Warren OK, maybe we'll go through that one
next. Maybe this book is a 40 day
journey into discovering your purpose.
As a life coach, my goal is to assist people in achieving their
highest potential by getting them to understand their
(12:44):
strengths and weaknesses. I begin by blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah blah, OK, the primaryfocus is on how to improve
communication skills and in a person.
OK, you cannot become who you want to.
This isn't bold. You cannot become who you want
to be until you recognize and understand who you really are.
(13:06):
I I love that. I like it.
Yeah, you, you have a purpose and you must find it.
Yeah. Have you guys found your
purpose? I think so.
I don't know. I know my purpose like and like
this is something I found out like a few years into recovery
because I was like, I was just like, I was actually in like a
(13:28):
really dark fucking place at thetime.
And I was like, why the fuck am I here?
Like for real? Like what, what, what is my
purpose here? And like, bottom line, just to
like strip it down to like what it was is like, my purpose here
is to make every interaction with everybody in my life be as
(13:50):
as good as it possibly can and to make their life a little bit
better than it was before the interaction.
And that's my purpose of life onearth, period.
Like with everybody I interact with, I want to make them a
little like make them smile, make them happy, make like do
whatever I can to enrich their life just a little bit in
(14:11):
whatever amount of time I'm given with that person.
And that's my purpose. Jesus.
Wow. I'm.
I'm so glad I stunned you guys into into silence.
What about you? You got one?
No. Nothing.
No, not like that. No.
I mean, my purpose is like for my daughter and shit like that,
(14:32):
you know? Yes, but I mean and like that
and that's absolutely part of it.
At this point in life, my purpose is Tucker and rib gift.
That's fine, That's good. That's.
Making their lives. As good as it possibly can for
their whole life, right? Yeah.
(14:53):
You're in charge of these littletiny sentient crazy asshole.
Don't call them crazy assholes. They can.
They aren't they? Can be, but they're actually,
they're absolutely friggin sweetheart.
You're just very excited to see you when you come in the door.
They're very excited. I know they're very excitable
and but no, somebody like pet moms and dads out there is very
(15:16):
important. I'm going to rescue as many dogs
as I I can in my entire life. That's that's an amazingly noble
fucking thing to do. Like, not everybody's purpose is
is the same, yeah. Honestly though, the only time I
find purpose is at work, which Idon't like because that's the
(15:41):
only place that I feel like I have a purpose and I don't like
that. Oh, that's not true.
You have purpose in my life. You've incredibly important
purpose in my life. Like you're a sex.
Yeah. Like, like I, I don't turn to a
lot of people. That could be true.
(16:02):
That could be true, but the way that I feel or what I think
sometimes is that my only purpose is at work and I don't
like that because. Shut the fuck up.
I'm just playing the background.The way that things have changed
at work has made me doubt even that this past year.
So then there's been zero purpose anywhere.
(16:25):
Feel you. Oh God, yeah.
Yeah, work can be a bitch. But then it's not supposed to be
about work. No.
Right like I. Mean.
That's not good. Your purpose in life is your
job. Like that's fucking.
Depressing well, no, it it depends on what your job is like
teacher like for you know, somebody dealing with kids like
(16:48):
my purpose is to help these kidsas much as I possibly can
that's. Great, good one.
That's fantastic. Because that's not even like,
that's not, those aren't your kids.
Those are other people's kids. Yeah.
And the fact that you give a shit enough to, like, show up
and do the right thing for, you know, however many, what, 120
kids in the school? I don't know how many.
(17:08):
Is that about right? 520 kids.
I don't know. I don't know how big that
fucking school is. Yeah, 520 kids.
Exactly. So like, like you're, you're in
charge of shepherding a shit tonof kids every year and you've
been doing it for seven years. Yeah, that's hundreds and
hundreds and thousands of kids by this point that like, have
(17:30):
been in your, like, custody. Like my, it is my it is my job
to keep these kids safe from 8:00 to 4:00 every day.
You're going to have you. Show up and you do your best
goddamn fucking work. That's amazing purpose.
They're going to, they're going to see you soon in the real
world. Dude, it happens all the time.
Yeah, it happened currently and I will be a target.
(17:51):
Like her name is. Carly Yeah, it's weird.
It has to be and then I get. Confused for her husband, which
is also. Hilarious.
That's hilarious. It is weird though because like
they that I only see them through till they're like 14 and
then I don't recognize them. When I see them in the real
world, they still recognize me because like, I haven't really
changed all that much, but they've gone from like they've
(18:13):
hit 14 to like 21. Yeah, we're our final Pokémon
evolution. They're like their middle
evolution. It's really weird.
Yeah. Have wait, so have you had kids
that you didn't recognize come up to you?
Yeah, ohh, it's really uncomfortable, Yeah.
And like, I'll think that I remember their name, but then I
don't wanna say their name in case I'm wrong.
(18:34):
Hey, you. Yeah.
Hey you. You.
What about you, Eric? And you said purpose is is.
I don't just my, my animals and my, my, you know, family and
that sort of shit. That's great.
Yeah, dude, there's no wrong answer.
Yeah, like, as long as you've found like, and, and it's gonna
change, you know, it's not gonnabe the same.
But like, no, I, I love that onefinding just find some sort of
(18:56):
purpose. And if like, if your purpose is,
hey, I'm gonna be the best recovering addict and help as
many people recover as I possibly can, that's fantastic.
I'm gonna be a zookeeper. Fantastic.
Like whatever it is. That'd be cool.
Yeah, that's what I was just thinking.
That would be really fucking cool.
Apparently it's not it. Doesn't sound fun.
Though it's yeah they're like also like they from what I've
(19:17):
heard, is like whatever your favorite animal is don't work
with your favorite animal because it'll like fuck you up
yeah cuz. Like, like Penguins though?
No, they're nasty, aren't they? I've heard they're not as nice.
Otters. I feel like otters are really
too wine with. On a day-to-day basis, otters
are like it could be a lot. Let's hold hands.
(19:38):
I want to work with bears. Oh.
Hell yeah, that'd be badass. But now like.
People who like little bears, mylittle rippies.
But no, when you're in charge oflike elephants and you're like,
hey, you know, I love elephants and then you have to give it an
baby elephants and like I like. Oh, because of that.
Red pandas would be cute. Yeah, apparently they can be
assholes though. We can train them out.
(20:00):
Of and. OK, fun fact about red pandas.
So red pandas were discovered before giant pandas.
So when you're when so they werecalled pandas first.
So when you say panda, you're actually referring to them and
not giant pandas. Well, I'm always referring to a
red panda. And when I'm talking about
pandas, I mean I really don't give it.
I mean, they they can't even. Have it they should, they
(20:20):
shouldn't. Exist.
I mean, they're literally, we'reliterally forcing them to have
sex with each other anyway to like keep their fucking lines
going. So principle.
Principle 31. Find a purpose in your life
because it'll help you. We'll read it one more time.
Discovery for recovery. You have a purpose and you must
find it. Yep.
Absolutely thumbs up. Find your purpose in recovery in
(20:41):
life and you know it'll give. It'll make things more special,
more meaningful. Good, good principle.
All right. What do we got 32?
Principle 32. There are 9 undeniable truths of
addiction. Oh, OK.
So this is one by one. Yeah, 91.
Your addiction will eventually destroy everything in all caps
(21:01):
you value. Maybe if you let it get to that
point. I yeah, I'd I'd have to agree
with that it. Depends on where your bottom is,
yeah. Yeah, read it one more time.
Your addiction will eventually destroy everything you value.
Yeah, yeah, I'll agree with that.
Like if if you do not if you don't do something about your
(21:24):
addiction. It will eventually.
Yeah, eventually it granted we only have 80 years on this life,
but if if we had several 100, you know, eventually it would
do, it would do its fucking whatever, it would do its job
and kill you. Next one.
Yep #2. Misery becomes your most
(21:46):
constant companion. Oh, yes and no.
If we're at the depths. I don't like constant you're.
Constant. Yep, I agree.
Yeah, I, I would say recurring because it can come back,
because things can go well in your life to the point where
(22:09):
you're you you stop doing the things that are good for you and
then misery comes back. So I I yeah, I don't think it's
constant. I think it's recurring.
But were you texting Eric? My wife.
Oh, oh, I can't hate on that. Yeah, I was about to be like
live in the now, man. But no, it's your wife.
(22:30):
OK, so misery is one more time. Misery becomes your most
constant companion. No, not constant, but it
recurring. But yeah, it's a friend.
Yeah. And if, I mean, that's kind of
life in general, yeah. Yeah.
Like, life can be miserable sometimes.
(22:51):
Like, people die, people move on.
Like like lots of stuff happens so.
Adulting is hard. Adulting is hard, but it's not
all the time. But if you don't do anything
about it, it can stay longer than it needs to.
So recurring misery, not constant.
OK. Three, you have unstable and
(23:13):
dysfunctional relationships. Yeah. 100% and these are 9.
What was the? 9 undeniable truths of
addiction. And #3 is you have.
Unstable and dysfunctional relationships.
Absolutely. Yep.
Yep, totally Yep. And especially with yourself.
Your relationship with yourself is completely dysfunctional.
(23:37):
OK, that's an all reliable truth.
Yep, number. 4 You often feel depressed and hopeless.
Yeah. Often I like the word often and
that's it circles back to your misery one.
But I like that we use the word often.
Yeah, Yep, he he reworded that alot better.
Yeah, I mean, that's the thing. Like if if you were people who
(23:59):
are out there happily using technically don't have a problem
because they're happy. No, they don't.
Have a. Problem like if, if if your life
if you're using is not unmanageable.
Then it's not an issue. Then it's not a What issue do
you? Why is it?
People are always looking for the issue so.
Well, unmanageable. That's the problem.
(24:21):
We're not there yet. No, OK, OK, But yes, depression,
what was it #4? Often you often feel depressed
and hopeless. Yep, Yep, that's Yep, that's.
Hopelessness for sure. Truth of an addiction?
Yep. Five, you constantly feel
annoyed, irritated, or even angry.
Oh yeah, that's how I feel everyday.
(24:42):
Oh. Yeah, this is it.
Is it how you feel every day? I'm literally wearing a shirt
that just says fuck it all, fuckthis world.
So yeah, Yep. Irritated at so many things all
the time but I'm and I'm clean. Just crazy.
I'm trying to think back to likeact of addiction.
Was I constantly annoyed, irritated or angry?
(25:02):
I mean, I was. I mean, yeah.
Right, I was high. But you're annoyed.
But I was. You're annoyed about it trying
to get high, Yeah. Yeah, that was annoying.
Yeah, yeah. Whenever back in the day, but
you, any of you kids, there usedto be like these things called
droughts. Where you couldn't deal on it.
Where you couldn't find drugs orthe drug you specifically wanted
(25:22):
and pissed you off. Yeah.
Yep, Yep. Absolutely.
They probably still have those. I probably.
Do just not with weed anymore. Not with weed.
Weed. 'S not but a lot of time.
Once I was high, I was not irritated or angry.
No, but that's the the. I could be though.
Yeah, and I mean, that's the same with like misery and like
(25:44):
the other two with like, depression and shit.
Like I might be depressed until I fucking do a lot of cocaine
and then I'm like, this is all amazing.
Yeah, so. And then it doesn't last.
And then you're depressed or annoyed or irritated or angry
again. There you go.
Six, your life feels chaotic andunmanageable.
There you go. There's.
Yes, yes, there. So yeah.
(26:06):
And that goes back to the crux of the issue.
Yeah, somebody who is, I don't know if, if, if Jeff Bezos is,
is slamming heroin every day andhe's like, I'm one of the top 3
richest people on Earth. I was like, well, then I guess
you don't have a problem. I mean, for you, dude.
I mean you're, you're a piece ofshit and you're why.
Messi's rich, is this going backto you?
(26:28):
Yeah. There's so many things wrong
with Jeff Bezos that I won't getinto it.
He's the type of person who hunts people for sport.
Dude, he's part of a club that eats endangered animals.
That's what I'm saying. I bet he hunts people for sport.
Yeah, that's some piece of shit level stuff.
But ultimately. There's a club for that.
(26:50):
Of course there is. If you're super fucking rich, of
course. Like the Super adventure friends
or super adventure club friends?Exactly.
There were two of them in the South Park episode one one was
about adventuring, the other wasabout pedophilia.
But yes, I know the Super is what you know, differentiated.
Yeah, if you're, if you're like if everything in your life is
(27:12):
working out perfectly and everybody's happy with you,
like, yeah, technically you don't have a problem.
But it's the chaos and unmanageability in our
relationships, in our emotional state and all the other things
that we just went over. Can we talk about something
super creepy real quick? Just real quick.
I'm going to take a samp on a tangent here.
OK, so I was talking. Yeah.
(27:35):
Hard no, Hard no has nothing to do with this.
OK, what's the OK, So I just jumped onto homedepot.com over
here and here's what's really weird.
So I was talking to my dad the other day and we were talking
about these 16 gauge, you know, nail like nails that I need for
a nail gun. And fucking first picture up
here is fucking 16 gauge fuckingnail gun that I have like just
(27:59):
staring at me. Creepy, creepy.
It got that off Fucking words. Oh yeah, marketing is so creepy.
Yeah, your phone is your phone is on dude, creepy yeah, it had
you know, dude, you know like how many do you know how many
Slipknot videos are coming up onmy phone?
I just in the last week I. Hate when it happens like that,
though. I hate when the marketing is
like, oh, we're just gonna like.We're just literally gonna
(28:21):
listen to your mic. Listen to what you're saying.
And then like, we're gonna put it on a different computer and
like. You had shit that you haven't
even set out. Loud.
Yes. You've thought it.
You thought it. Think it.
I thought it. That's what makes me think of
this fucking matrix anyway, OK? But that's also algorithms too,
and they're just predicting yourbehavior.
Target has such a good algorithmthat it can predict if you're
(28:44):
pregnant off of stuff that you're buying.
Yeah. So it'll start fucking like it
will know. Target will know that you're
pregnant before you know you're pregnant by you're buying
behaviors. Isn't that crazy?
That's insane. OK, I don't want to talk about
this. OK, Next.
It's like we're not going to target.
Any that is a creepy tangent. Thank you, Eric.
(29:05):
Yeah. Seven, your addiction causes
poor judgment leading to bad decisions.
Absolutely no argument. Yeah.
No argument. Yeah, it's no discussion to be.
Had needed no. Why?
Don't you gesture to? Me because you're a prime
example of this. Yes, Yep.
(29:25):
OK. Alright, moving on.
You become more critical of others, often blaming people,
places and things for what are your own shortcomings.
Yeah. Oh yeah, deflection.
You're just staring a hole for me.
Carly. Do we need to talk about this
one? I know.
I think I think he's doing really well at this point.
Is there is there any more? No, the guy.
(29:46):
Oh. Yeah, and there's one more.
There's one more 9. Your family, friends, and
coworkers begin to question yourbehavior.
Yes, actually, just like what Sam said.
But sometimes you're really goodand you can.
Hide it. I don't think mine ever
questioned my behavior. I think your coworkers did,
didn't they? That's because they saw me doing
lines of coke. Oh, when you get to like.
(30:07):
Actively caught red handed, yeahOh my God.
Really. I didn't know you were caught
red handed. Well, I mean some like they, I
thought they were, some of them did it with me, but it was like.
Oh, OK. And then they ratted you out.
Well, because they realized theydidn't have a problem and I did.
Oh, so they still got something to do with coke?
Oh, those bastards. No, no, no, no, not bastards
(30:27):
don't do that. OK.
This was all in the Catholic. Oh my goodness.
Sissy headed mini muggins. What, haven't you seen an elf?
Come on. Friends.
In a while again friends I don'tknow.
Friends. Yeah, so.
Wait, yeah. What are the breakdowns?
Family, friends and coworkers. Family, friends and coworkers
yeah my family Start Stop talking to me my.
(30:50):
Family had no idea. My sister completely stopped
talking to me, like I wasn't allowed to see my nieces and
nephews. That and I cut myself off from
my family. So they were like, clearly he's
fucked up. Yeah.
No, my family had no idea. Yeah, my family does.
A lot of my friends were doing it with me.
Friends. Yeah.
So my friends, yeah. Like they're, well, they're all
still out using besides for Brad.
(31:10):
And Brad knew I had a problem. And until he got clean, like,
yeah, I mean, he knew he had a problem.
So he wasn't clean that long before he got clean.
Like a year and a half, a year and a half, two years.
Yeah. But I mean, once he had that
realization of like, oh, Brad has a problem, then he, like,
kind of looked at the people around him.
He was like, oh, yeah, David hasa problem, too.
(31:31):
Yeah. So he knew.
But yeah, none of my friends ever confronted me because we
were all doing the same shit. Yeah.
I had friends confront me at different points for sure.
Well, you were really bad like. I hate my moment.
We're doing the hierarchy of using here.
Carly was the best, David's in the middle.
You were the worst. I was like really good at it.
(31:53):
You were, yeah, you were like, yeah, you were.
You were super successful. I was successful until I I mean.
You were successful, but. You were also shooting.
Dope I wasn't successful, but I wasn't shooting Dope I.
Hit my bad point. I'll hit a point where it's
like, oh, Eric's about to fall off the waterfall.
Isn't he? Like, you know, sort of like,
yeah, I remember going to my grandmother's house.
I thought I was totally cohere. And I was not.
(32:14):
Yeah. But like, I was like, I'm gonna
play this game. I was probably, like, crazy.
And I was like you, falling asleep.
But like, yeah, you were more, we're at more risk of the drugs
taking you out than I was. And I was at, I was at more risk
of me taking myself out. And Carly was just like, yeah,
I'm just having way too much funall the time.
(32:34):
I'm still doing everything that I needed exactly.
My behavior at work was fine. My behavior at home was fine,
yes. Like that's the hard.
Part, but inside you were dying.Correct.
Yeah, correct. And then Co workers.
I never worked anywhere. I began to question my own
behaviors, what happened, not myfamily, friends and Co workers.
Oh, really? See you Yeah, you were way you
(32:57):
just. I had Co workers when I was like
filming weddings. You're you're, you're the
Princess Peach to my Wario. To your wario.
Yeah, I've actually been called Waluigi recently by several
people and it makes. Me sad.
Why? That makes sense actually, I can
see it. I like Waluigi and I'm like why?
I love EG. It's true.
(33:18):
I'm a Weegee. OK, I think that wraps up.
That wraps up for the 32. Oh, I totally just crushed
Carly's tone. I'm so sorry about that.
But we are going to have to, we do have to do Wow.
The final solution, right? Yeah, the.
No, don't say that. Yeah, no, I mean that is.
(33:41):
That yes, it is final solution now.
Yes, in conclusion, the final. Solution Solution which?
Talked about this. You can't use those words.
Do we want to just go into that right now and just make this
just finish off this episode with all this?
Like, sure, let's talk about thefinal.
Solution. So at the end of this book
there's an in conclusion in verybig bold and then right
(34:04):
underneath that there's smaller bold, bold print that says the
final solution. Terrible decision, terrible name
to you do know what that's talking about, correct?
The final solution? Well, we talked about World War
2 a lot in this these. Episodes so.
So it's not I. Don't know if you know anything
(34:24):
about the the phrase the final solution.
That's what it was called with the extermination of the Jews.
It was called the final solutionlike which is horrendous.
So the fact that you like he putit in, I don't think he meant I
don't. Think he meant I don't.
Think he meant that at all. I it's just a very poor choice
of fucking words. It's just a very poor for
fucking choice of words. So the final solution here.
(34:48):
The final solution can be summedup in 2 words.
Get help. Perfect.
You can start by finding a knowledgeable professional such
as a life coach, counselor, or behavioral specialist.
Perhaps even a caring volunteer that is familiar with recovery
issues such as sponsor, mentor, pastor in your local area.
Ask for your healthcare provider.
Who? How many people in addiction had
(35:10):
healthcare providers? I don't.
David, are you joking? That's how I got my drugs.
OK. Yeah, that's 30% of the people
in this room, not the majority. That's how I ended up where I
ended up. OK.
That's 66%. 66% apparently I'm the minority and I had
absolutely no health. Care.
I didn't and then I was forced to go to 1.
(35:31):
And then you realize, Oh my God,this is a drug dealer in
disguise. Dude, I still don't have a
primary care physician. Oh I do.
I have a primary care I have a doctor for like my gut.
I have a doctor for my legs. I need to get a doctor for.
I have a doctor for tons of. Things primary care physician,
but I don't regularly go. I go every year.
I just had my physical. I cancel and then reschedule and
(35:52):
then or just don't reschedule atall and then it just.
I have too many medical problemsnot to go.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, you do.
I'm. Relatively healthy, but we'll
see. I do.
Need you have that extra 15 lbs.I don't know.
I know. I do need AI do need.
APC Didn't you just say you wereat the doctor the other day?
That was for work when you were 59.
(36:14):
Oh, it's really shady, but by purchasing the book, this book,
you've demonstrated that you arewilling to invest in yourself
and that your life is worth it. When you really commit to
yourself to change, great and wonderful things begin to have
begin to transpire. Everyone's recovery must begin
somewhere. Perhaps yours can begin here.
(36:36):
I would strongly suggest that you complete the Leading from
Your Strengths profile through the Ministry inside.
OK, I'm not going to go through all that.
Isn't there a little checklist there?
That's just OK. So yeah, make the following
(36:56):
resolution checklist for yourself.
Check off each item as you complete it.
Make a decision as to where or who you will go to for help.
OK, check. Adopt an accountability plan and
find a few people who can make yourself accountable to inform
them of your resolution of recovery and expand and express
(37:16):
your need for having someone to be accountable to.
That's way along with you complete a leading from your
strengths profile@blahblahblah.com, which
I'm not. No, I'll put it on there.
Just, you know, this is another tool for everybody.
Ministry insights.com. If you want to do a lead from
(37:39):
your strengths profile there, goahead and then make a list of
measurable goals, such as how many AA/AA, NA meetings you will
commit to attending every week. Share those goals with whoever
you made yourself accountable to.
Yeah. This is a lot of like relying on
self to do this. Yeah, I mean, well, I mean in
(38:02):
the very beginning, he says. He says get help.
Yeah. And I guess that's like #1 on
the thing. But then it's like.
Go to this Go to this website. Make yourself accountable to
people. Make it as.
Like, right, yeah, I get that. I don't know.
I don't know it I. Mean it like this has been a, a
good tool, the 32 principles of recovery.
(38:25):
It's, it's, it's a little fluffyin there, but it is like we were
just doing this to highlight another tool outside AANA.
So, you know, if anybody's interested in the 32 principles
for recovery, you know, give it a try, give it a try.
Give it, you know, go through all these.
There's a lot of World War 2. There's several World War 2
(38:48):
references which were very baffling at the time, but you
know, some of these principles are great.
Some of the some of them are were not for us.
But this is still a valuable piece towards, you know, the
recovery puzzle. And so, yeah, 32 Principles for
recovery by Rick McNeil, Wisdom to the Light, the pathway for
recovery. Good stuff.
(39:09):
And you know, we'll be finding some other ones also, which
we'll probably do next is the road to Wellness, which we'll
see what this all has entailed. But everybody, thank you for
joining us. And Carly, we're glad you got to
bookend this at the end. And yeah.
Go to all our sites. Go to all our websites.
(39:31):
Like share, subscribe. Like, share, subscribe, listen
to all the episodes for 32 Principles of Recovery and also
listen to all the podcast recovery episodes as well, but
most importantly, everybody out there.
Stay safe and stay clean.
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